‘GOP Babe of the Week’ Govindini Murty also starred in a student film called San Pedro in 2001. Murty may otherwise be quite intelligent, but this potboiler is howlingly bad. Slamming a student film? Fish in a barrel; but the director, Murty’s husband Jason Apuzzo, graduated from USC film school, Stanford and Yale, so the movie shouldn’t be as awful as it so eminently is.Murty, playing a hotel maid, flashes a lingering cleavage closeup at 24:31, a truly atrocious Latina-meets-Borat accent soon after. Then the script hurls this gem, a bumbling, literal translation of an English idiom that no Spanish speaker would ever utter:
‘He might want his statue back so he doesn’t get into agua caliente!’
… followed by:
‘It is a real statue. It has the ancient Chinese key inside.’
Ah, so: ancient Chinese secrets, that deus-ex-I-Ching. Yes, it really is that bad. The plot is pure Republican porn, putting forth a Vince Foster-esque conspiracy theory involving Men’s Wearhouse pitchman Al Gore:On the final night of the 2000 Democratic Convention, a hard boiled bounty hunter must recover an ancient Chinese statue, and clean up a trail of big money that threatens ‘bad buzz’ for Al Gore. But when a sexy immigrant maid stumbles onto that trail first…
Murty hit a well-trodden dead end as ‘a sexy immigrant maid,’ which is actually an entire genre of Chatsworth porn. It’s like the self-ruin of the lovely Paz Vega, an edgy Spanish art film star who thought playing a maid in a mentally-challenged Adam Sandler flick counted as crossover. Or like Jennifer Lopez, who subjugated herself to Ralph Fiennes in vacuum and apron. Exoticize us, boink us, make us your willing slaves, as long as you pay us wets in greens.
Watch the film. Keep a clothespin handy.
