It’s Valentine’s Day. Half of the country will be f--king like wild billy goats. The other half will just be f--king bitter. The good folks at Durex have something for both camps. The former can indulge in the contraceptive concern’s wide range of STD- and pregnancy-busting prophylactics. And for the latter — nothing less than an international-sized reminder of how much play they’re missing out on.

Durex, a subsidiary of London-based SSL International, recently released their annual survey of sexual behavior around the world. The "Global Sex Survey," now in its eighth year, polled more than 350,000 people from 41 countries, and is billed as the largest such study around. Among the 16 questions, the following six stood out to me (I only listed results for first place, Canada, global average, India, U.K., U.S. and last place):

Frequency of orgasms

Italy 61%
U.S. 39
Canada 36
U.K. 35
Global Avg. 35
India 21
China 19
Something has gone horribly awry.

Frequency of sex

France 137 times per year
U.K. 119
U.S. 111
Canada 108
Global Avg. 103
India 82
Japan 46
This may explain Japan’s higher-than-average suicide rate.

Ownership of vibrators

Iceland 52%
U.K. 49
U.S. 43
Canada 39
Global Avg. 27
India 11
Vietnam 5
Eleven percent of aunties you know in India own a vibrator.

Sexiest features

Canada Attitude (17%), eyes (16%), face (11%)
U.K. Eyes (22%), sense of humor (12%), face (11%)
U.S. Eyes (16%), attitude (14%), toned body (13%)
India Breasts/chest (32%), face (14%), toned body (9%)
Who didn’t see this coming?

Time spent on foreplay

U.K. 22.5 min.
Canada 20.8
U.S. 19.7
Global Avg. 19.7
India 19.3
Thailand 11.5
Isn’t is a tad unusual for respondents to time themselves? At the very least, it has got to be distracting, and make for bad foreplay.

Unprotected Sex

Sweden 64%
U.K. 48
U.S. 47
Canada 42
Global Avg. 35
India 20
Population of more than a billion. Percentage of AIDS infections increasing daily. Yet India ranks dead last in unprotected sex?!

Durex: 2004 Global Sex Survey