March 25, 2005
Holi Day munchiesFood
Straight from your druggie aunties and uncles, here are some traditional recipes for Holi bhang. The Hindustan Times even tells you how to make pot laddoos and green halva!
Bhang, or cannabis, is freely associated with the splash of assorted Holi colours. During this season, bhang is prepared and served according to age-old traditions throughout the Himalayan foothills.With a simple mortar and pestle, the buds and leaves of cannabis are squashed and ground into a green paste, to which milk, ghee and spices are added. This base can be mixed with the nutritious, refreshing drink, thandai… This can also be mixed with ghee and sugar to make a tasty green halvah, and into peppery, chewy little balls called [golis].
I’m cracking up just thinking of aunties hanging out around shady parks after midnight trying to score Shiva’s herb for their Holi parties. Mistress of Spices indeed. Like Bhang for Chocolate. Maybe desis’ popularity in stoner flicks is justified — I’ll never look at pista barfi the same way again.
The adult Holi is the desi Halloween, a day for masks, flirting and outrageous fun. Meanwhile, bhangra aficionados are busy denying that its name derives from bhang:
Cecil Beaton described the ‘concoction of milk of almonds, rosewater, carminum nuts and eight ingredients of which hashish, or Bhang, was the principal’. (‘One of the effects of Bhang,’ he further reported, ‘is that it makes everything appear humorous. Another is that strange things happen to one’s sense of time.’)
Brimful’s amphora runneth over as she tells a hilarious tale about an auntie, an airport and a dime bag:
… her brother-in-law, V mama, puts in his request, asks her to get him some of that stuff that goes into bhang. She puts it on the list, describes it exactly that way when she seeks it out in India.
So there she is, waiting in the customs line at Logan, carting along two rather young kids, bags filled to the point of bursting, and the customs inspector decides that her bags should be inspected…. The inspector does his thing, until he comes to a bag of dried leaves. “What’s this?” he asks.
At first, K mami doesn’t really know what to say… he asks, “Who asked you to bring this?” She just says that the bag is stuff that goes into bhang. The inspector calls over another official, and next thing you know, my mami is sitting in an interrogation room, getting ready to look at the wrong side of a jail cell. This is particularly crazy when you consider that my mami doesn’t even break 55 on the highway for fear of getting a ticket… The two kids have been escorted to their dad, M mama. Mass confusion abounds. M mama has no idea why his wife is in trouble, and his wife is similarly baffled, but neither of them can see each other.V mama finally comes clean that maybe, just maybe that stuff that goes into bhang is an illegal substance… And then V mama says bhang has “merri-ju-wanna” in it.
Let’s just say, after that, V mama was not allowed to request anything from family members traveling to India.
Here’s a similar hungama over kava, a traditional Fijian intoxicant:
Peni Basalusalu… served 30 days in San Mateo County Jail on a misdemeanor DUI charge after a CHP officer spotted the 41-year-old weaving between lanes and along the shoulder… Prosecutors said the Fiji-born Basalusalu had consumed three bowls of kava at a late-night gathering. When he was pulled over at 1:30 a.m., he failed roadside sobriety tests that measure reflexes and visual alertness.
So if you’re Fijian and desi, you’re spoiled for choice. And it’s all culturally approved!
Update: Shashwati says:
One Holi, I walked out in the streets of Delhi late in the afternoon. Not a soul was in sight in this densely crowded city, not a car, not a scooter. Everybody was sleeping off their marijuana binge. What a feeling, all of North India dreaming in a haze of cannabis!
manish on March 25, 2005 10:04 AM in Food, Holidays, Humor · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
¤ चिट्ठा-चर्चा said: फागुन की मस्त बयार लिये
doooooooood. i followed one of your links and found the following:
Joey Mattehws (MODEL)
I am a Malyali and don't enjoy playing Holi. It's a very messy feeling. All that I can recall of the past Holi days is seeing people play it with water, paints or even powdered colours. Holi is also associated with drinking, going high and later acting senselessly. I remember Holi as an event when coloured faces behave awkwardly. A lot of hooliganism is displayed in the name of fun. So I try to stay away from it.
Besides Holi I enjoy all other festivals. Diwali has a religious significance. Moreover Diwali has a bright atmosphere, so I guess I like it compared to Holi. Though a lot of friends invite for Holi parties, but I generally avoid going out on that day.
party-thoor-er.
i say, whatevs. bring on the super-soakers and the tackling in the park. oh, wait. maybe that's just a davis thing. :) any hooliganism planned for DC? sajit? anyone? buehler? BUEHLER??
Holi is also associated with drinking, going high and later acting senselessly...A lot of hooliganism is displayed in the name of fun.
Where do I sign up?
Also, apparently you get flying lessons with this deal, or get to climb a mountain ("going high") so count me in for that as well.
Here's the hardcore deal. I don't think the guy at Sabji Mandi carries that special key ingredient, though...
Maybe Patel Brothers has it. You just have to look hard enough. 'Bhang brand flour: it's the only one my family enjiiiys.'
You tellin' me that you can't make do with the real deal that is readily available on the mean streets of Anytown, USA?
Hey now, New York City ain't no Madison, WI. Maybe you guys don't have any supply issues... you're close to those Canadians.
Hey Manish, California knows how to party... ;)
Not that I'm trying to undermine the popularity of SM, but I sincerely hope no members of my family read this... or I'm in big trouble.
Also:
Like Bhang for ChocolateCracked my sh** up!
associated with drinking, going high and later acting senselessly. A lot of hooliganism is displayed in the name of fun.
People don't even do this during Mardi Gras here. Perhaps New Orleans* has a lot to learn from Holi.
*I wish I still lived in Madison, WI
Anna (BLOGGER):
As if! Joey's such a goody-goody, or he's secretly my mom. I take people so much more seriously if they list their profession in all-caps after their name.
It's a very messy feeling, indeed.
-D (LAW STUDENT)
People don't even do this during Mardi Gras here. Perhaps New Orleans* has a lot to learn from Holi.
You're joking, right? When I went to Mardi Gras yearly between 1997 and 2001, I saw plenty of all three, and sometimes all at once by the same person...
I think the Rastafarians call marijuana 'Ganja' because of the Indian population out there in the Caribbean taught them that word. They also call it Kali in a few reggae songs I've heard.
white kids in the south call it "Elvis," which I find particularly funny...
Hi there, whose photograph is that one - the one of the bhang shop? Would like to use it for a Holi invite, if possible. Please let me know urgently, would greatly appreciate a prompt reply.
