The very awesome Turbanhead sent me the most deliciously evil link earlier today; it had to do with a college co-ed who needed to write a paper on "Hindu".
This stellar, morally upright young woman required a little...help. And boy, did she get some.
Laura K: hi can i ask u a quick question
Nate Kushner: what's that?
Laura K: i see in ur profile it says something about Hindu....i am a college student and i have to write a paper on Hindu is there anyway u can help me with that
Nate Kushner: I can try.
Laura K: have u ever written a paper on it before
Nate Kushner: I am qualified, seeing as how it says Hindu in my profile.
Laura K: well i am looking fro soemone to write me a paper i am more than willing to send u a check in the mail...money isn't really an object to me...
By the by...the profile they both refer to states that Nate is interested in "Eating Hindu Sculpture."
What follows, boys and girls, is a stern lesson about how you shouldn't randomly IM comedy writers and ask them to do your all-nighter work.
Wow. I thought she was just going to ask me a question about Hinduism (and having taken a college course on Indian history, I actually do know enough about it to make up some funny lies), but instead, I'm in charge of writing a paper, and she wants to pay for it.
...I reached one more branch out to her, in the form of misspelling the name of the god of destruction as a liquor brand. But it wasn't enough to get her to tell me to fuck myself, so I started making up my plan. Which was real simple: Take her money and cut and paste a paper together from the internet that was so obviously plagiarised that she'd be guaranteed to get caught...
...Is this harsh? Eh, I don't think so. She got the syllabus saying she'd be kicked out of school for plagiarism, so she shouldn't be surprised. Plus, I have a nice little English degree that I did all the work for myself, so I find it a little offensive that this girl for whom money is no object is buying papers like that.
I found it offensive, too. If I got two degrees without cheating, this barely-literate twit can get ONE for Chivas Regal's sake.
Snippets from the paper that was written for this lazy git:
The highest class is the Brahmans, the priestly class. Their dharma is to study and understand the Vedas, Hinduâs holy texts, and bring this knowledge to others. The second class is the Kshatriya, the warrior class, who acted as the protectors of the peace. I made a doody. Vaishya, the producing class, work as business people providing economic stability to the society. The Shudahelupta class, are servants to the higher three classes...
...Karma, which follows you throughout your many lifetimes, determines which class you will be in for any given lifetime. You may be demoted to an animal, reallocated within the class structure, or even elevated to a deity. Your actions in each lifetime affect your karma, and if a Shudra watches dharma and greg, it will have a positive effect on his karma, perhaps elevating him into a class in which she will be allowed to study the Vedas and progress along its spiritual path.
Read it all here. Since this story has been on Boing Boing among others, the wicked Mr. Kushner set up an open thread to deal with the flaming aftermath here. Ah, I love some good snark after lunch...




