As far as I'm concerned, the best day to buy the New York Post is Snarkday Sunday. THAT'S the day when the Post gets extra wacky; weddings are announced and more celebrity photographs than usual are displayed, replete with delightfully rude captions which allow otherwise demanding readers to overlook the nightmarish-lack-of-editing this tabloid embraces, as a way to distinguish itself from big apple-rivals like the Grey Lady and the "Daily Snooze".
Still, let's be honest-- other papers have "Vows" sections and every third magazine and fourth cable channel offers celebrity drivel. So why waste three-quarters-of-a-dollar (or hell, three quarters) on The Post? Simple. NYP goes a step beyond, by allowing you to recall the halcyon days of yore when Chuck Woolery helped hapless singles attempt a "Love Connection" with three potential dates.
Chuck is busy, so the Post's uber-creatively named "Meet Market" feature is what's in control of some New Yorker's social fate. And this week? Oh, my Mutiny-lovers. THIS week (drumroll...er...tabla, please)
The man looking for some lovin' is...VIKAS.
There you go, faithful female followers of SM. You wanted more pictures of MEN? We heard you. Feast your eyes on the guy who describes himself as
"good looking and charming, with a nice smile, and the body of a god."
WHOA.
Did you CATCH that?
I can't believe it! Vikas had the nerve to brag about his SMILE??? Uh, someone's a little too proud of his teeth. ;)
He goes on to describe himself as "spontaneous, fun and unique; ambitious and driven; loud, assertive and prone to insanity - OK, that's enough gloating for today!"
Indeed.
Vikas, a cunning linguist who likes Jujitsu, was once dissed and dismissed by a girl while on a train TO a Broadway show. That's his worst date ever. Next week, Post-philes like me will tune in eagerly to find out if the subway-ride-from-hell still stands or if he can top that...trainwreck with whatever went down on his New York Post date.
Log on here, to peruse and choose one of the three bachelorettes who are eligible for this adventure. Here's a hint: choose the lady with the least makeup on, since our man V doesn't like Sephora-whores. Oh, and since all brown people are less than three degrees apart, I giddily await the comment to this post from the person who roomed with Vikas in college/once dated his best friend/knows his sister's brother-in-law's cousin. Have at it. ;)
:+:
UPDATE: Apparently, Vikas gets to pick his own fair maiden; OUR votes are merely for fun (read: utterly useless). Next week, within the follow-up article that will describe the date via a "he/she said" format, the public's opinion will show up in a small sidebar that says "YOUR PICK: THE GIRLS" with corresponding percentages next to each bachelorette's picture. Sigh. How are we to meddle NOW??? :D
