Does yoga cause demonic possession? That would explain the The Exorcist, which, little-known fact, features an obscure asana called the ‘spinning wheel.’ Beware that Hindoo voodoo (thanks, RC):
“… [yoga is] aimed at transforming human consciousness to experience the Hindu god, which is a false god.” … She also… instructed her students in astral projection, or “stepping outside” of the body, which Laurette says poses a serious spiritual danger. “If there’s nothing in your mind, you’re open to all kinds of deception… I wondered who—or what—came into my body when I ‘stepped out.’ “
Next up: PraiseFu, drunken master style:
She’s developed a prominent presence on the Internet, largely due to her new exercise program, PraiseMoves, which she calls “a Christian alternative to yoga.”
My name is Laurette and I’m a recovering New Ager. This is like abstinence videos from the 1950s:
… her family never suspected this seemingly innocent exercise would open the door to a New Age lifestyle that would affect Laurette for the next 22 years… As an adult, Laurette immersed herself in every New Age and metaphysical practice she came across: chanting, crystals, tarot cards, psychics, channeling spirits.
Let The Eagle soar:
There’s “The Eagle” stretch, where the arms are pulled back to resemble a bird in flight. While students hold this stretch, Laurette reads Isaiah 40:31: “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles”…
Yes, let’s eliminate all New Age fuzzy-mindedness by concluding that the Holy Spirit is a gym teacher:
When investigating a Christian yoga class, be on the lookout for:Sanskrit language. Many words commonly used in yoga pay homage to Hindu deities…
Feelings of discomfort… this may be the Holy Spirit’s way of letting you know the class isn’t for you.
Did you know that when Hindus say whazzup, they’re actually trying to convert you?
… the word “namaste,” often said at the close of yoga classes, means, “I bow to the god within you.”
Oh dear, WWJD with his cool yoga pants? Nobody said salvation was easy, babe.
It’s a hard decision for those who’ve invested many years and many dollars into the practice…. ‘But I’ve already paid for these yoga classes,’ or ‘But I just bought these cool yoga pants and a yoga DVD…’
So, after learning a bad ripoff of a practice intertwined with religion, it took 22 years for Laurette to figure out that the religion is Hinduism. That’s as good an indictment of New Age as I’ve ever heard:
… be on the lookout for… [m]etaphysical jargon. Phrases such as “breathing in positive energy and breathing out negative energy,” “focusing on the third eye,” and “getting in touch with the divinity within you” have New Age implications… After giving her life to God, Laurette… burned her New Age books…
You go, girl. In all seriousness, she gives one of the most lucid theological breakdowns I’ve ever heard:
“… if there’s no sin, then you don’t need a Savior.”
Stay back, succubus, with the yoga mat and tights! I’ve found my calling. Because when I think of the Old Testament, the first word that comes to mind is ‘flexible.’
Anyhow, forget emptying your mind, beware emptying your wallet. Laurette is now selling what are essentially, uh, yoga videos. Having seen the light, I’m going to sell Hindu versions of these funky eight-armed candlesticks.
