What's IOKIYAB?

I figured it out.
Note to self: If it's 2.30 AM and you've been making friends with the Guinness, sleep on it.

Q) What do you call three Bengali men? A) Two Political Parties…

This is classic...and much better than the analogous one I usually use, which is Hindu-centric (two puja committees).

Can you give us a music warning when there's music involved? i can't really read this at 4:05 a.m. without fearing waking the other house people.

I'd like to read the rest of his thing, before commenting, since tone is so important, but the mockery of the genocide sounds a little bit, ummm, crass (at best).

The French of India eh? Well maybe... for those who don't know, Bengalis often take a lot of pride in their intellect and dandyism. My father would tell me stories about "borderline homosexuals" (his words, not mine) who would study poetry at the Jadavpur University in Kolkata. But the whole thing about being submissive and nonviolent can be easily dismissed (not necessarily something to be proud of), like the article points out. My father would also tell me stories about Naxalites burning people alive, and let's not forget that some of the most intense hatred in Indian history was between the Hindus and Muslims of Bengal during India's civil war.

The French of India eh? Well maybe...

Cmon, banglawarrior. clearly a good analogy (and not just because i made it up independently :)

Anyway the main point of the article seems to be that many bangalis like to hegemonize spaces when given the opportuntiy, which I think is often true (and i'm guilty of myself). We were the house n#S#@#s of British India until 1905, after all, and I wouldn't be surprised if that has stayed inside the culture in the form of supremacism. I'm sure all the people in Puri who (I think) have to speak Bangla to deal with Bangali tourists or the Biharis in Calcutta that were treated like second class citizens are not all that thrilled with this feature of Calcuttan Bong culture. I don't know if I would call us "pack animals" on that basis, but I also wouldn't want to get into a car accident in Calcutta for fear of being beaten to death (or drive in Calcutta, for that matter).

But i think he didn't do justice to some of the wonderful, warm, creative, progressive, and funny things that come out of our community--even besides the typical cliched ones like Rabindranath (which I guess is fair, given that it was satirical commentary). For example, we just had a puja at our house and the priest/engineer, after he changed out of his garb, settled into a very typical bangali male conversation with me, my uncle, and another dude; he went on a long and humorous diatribe against religion, talked about segregation he had faced, etc. Not so many priests (even part time ones) out there that do that, or take the time to explain Sanskrit slokas or make adjustments to include the White mother of the bride at a Hindu wedding on the basis of just being nice :)

Tagore cliche? Blashphemy! :-)

You're right Saurav, the Bangla community certainly doesn't lack wonderful, positive things, and you don't even have to look at icons like Satyajit Ray and Tagore to find them.

I must admit, however, that I learned a lot from this entry. You mean to tell me that all that loud, often angry, debating at (insert name) Auntie's house back in the day doesn't normally happen at non-Bangla gatherings?

Bengali's do have a rich literature and artistic and cinematic heritage, there is no denying that. I really admire them.

I love Bengali men. Compared to many others, Bengali men are more liberal in thought, and more restrained in action. I love their poetic view of life. I also love generalizations.

In this past Sunday's NYT Travel glossy, of all places, there's a nice article about the art of the adda -- the endless conversation on topics lofty and small that goes on in Calcutta cafes and other venues. By the way, an adda requires more than 2 people -- but can't get too big, otherwise it turns into a meeting. Distinctions! Here's the link:
http://travel2.nytimes.com/2005/05/15/travel/tmagazine/15T-INDIA.html

peace

My parents had Bengali friends, man were they fun at get togethers!

My mom more than held her own, being Punjabi, but, I must say there was a flair about our friends!

to this day I associate Bengali people with intellectualism, stimulating and broad conversation, fish, and very interesting sweaters

i really didn't like that times article. i guess i shouldn't be surprised, but the tone was so...i don't know.

more importantly, other desis don't wear those sweaters? :)

more importantly, other desis don't wear those sweaters? :)

oh, saurav, i implore thee...WHAT sweaters? i will shamefully admit that i don't get it.

I'm enjoying this Bengali lovefest, not the least because I am, ahem, Bengali.

We Bengalis love it when people acknowledge our culture, language, and literary and artistic achievements. The mere fact that this attention goes straight to our heads is a testament to that other Bengali trait, vanity. :-)

But seriously, Tatonnement is right on the money with these generalizations. Which Bengali doesn't have at least 5 nicknames, each one bestowed on him by his uncle, grandfather, brother-on-law, etc? And where would be without 'eelesh machher jhol', 'jhinge posto' and 'shukto'? (Only true Bengalis will know what I mean.)

And finally, we've got the Indian movie biz on lockdown too: Sushmita Sen, Bipasha Basu, Rani Mukherjee, Sharmila Tagore (back in the day)... and as far as music... well don't even get me started on that!

Bengali men in the 40+ age group seem to have a peculiar fetish for really ugly, drab or garish sweater. I think that's the most pressing issue the Bengali community needs to rally around today. We've got bong uncles wearing sweaters that even Bill Cosby wouldn't be caught dead in.

Saurav, what did you not like about the article?

I once heard/read (can't remember where)Jhumpa Lahiri being referred to as a Bengali-American. I’ve just googled and found out the bbc calls her a Bengali-American. I mean you already have Indian-American, Pakistani-American and South Asian. But where is this Bengali-American thing coming from? I don’t think any other linguistic group would be given a separate category. Maybe the Punjabis. But I can’t see someone being called a Bihari-American or a Mallu-American. Why should the Bengalis be entitled to a separate category? : )

Punjabi Boy,

Bollywood is Punjabi cinema, except they just speak Hindi. Yash Chopra vs Satayajit Ray. That is not even a fair fight. You know how much money Yash Chopra’s movies have made? Would you rather dance to Bhangra or Rabindra sangeet? Have little pride puttar!

If you think about it was not India that was split up just the Bengalis and Punjabis, I wonder why?

t

Bihari-Americans s/b Hindi-Americans or Bhojpuri-Americans in the previous post.

Bogs are cool - an intelligent breed, quite cultured - and the girls are quite pretty

The only thing that makes me wary of all bongs (that I meet) is the suspicion that they might be wearing read underwear (commies put me off, totally)

The only thing that makes me wary of all bongs (that I meet) is the suspicion that they might be wearing read underwear

ahem. if it makes you feel any better, i swear that as the reigning wannabe-bengali/bong-philic mutineer, my knickers have NOT been read. ;)

:+:

timepass: THANK YOU for the sweater explanation. i was frantic from the suspense. :D

I beg to differ, Mallu underwear has been read for many years now. :)

Why didn't I like the article? I don't know. I think I'm too jaded. It felt to me like the reporter took something warm and fuzzy and decided to define it to death. And he used this objectifying "wow, look at me try to figure out what this interesting cultural trend is!" angle. We're not zoo animals :)

Lines like this are annoying:

Bengalis love to talk, especially about exalted topics

(An adda, incidentally, nearly always involves the eating of fried savories like samosas and bhaji, or the rococo sweets that Bengalis call mishti.)

She is related by marriage to the Bengali independence leader Subhas Chandra Bose, which gives her pronouncements on the national character a definitive quality.

I zeroed in on a rangy, bespectacled man in his 30's who seemed to be discussing something heavy with two older companions and introduced myself. ''So let me ask you, are you having an adda?''

While this praise towards Bengalis is welcome, let's not get full of ourselves. Let's not overlook our propensity to talk matters to death before taking a single action.

For all the talk of the contributions Bengalis have made to Indian culture, those individual Bengalis often faced hostility from other Bengalis at the time they were making their mark. Satyajit Ray was said to focus too much on poverty. Ravi Shankar got blamed when hippies starting using his music as background filler to get high and have sex. I myself criticize Jhumpa Lahiri, since so many of her Bengali characters seem to be humorless and dour.

And for the notable 50-50 Indians making their mark in pop culture (in the U.S. or India), their Indian half is often Bengali. Norah Jones, Lisa Ray, Rhona Mitra - each have a Bengali parent

And living in Chicago, I cannot overlook Fazlur Khan, the structural engineer who designed the John Hancock Building and the Sears Tower. Of the two, Hancock has the better view.

But I can’t see someone being called a Bihari-American or a Mallu-American. Why should the Bengalis be entitled to a separate category? : )

Because we're obnoxious like that :)

Wow... a lot of you certainly hold Bengalis in very high esteem... I think I have a lot to live up to.

Hey...what about us Maharashtrians? They did not call Poona (Pune) the Oxford of the East for nothing!

I think this " we r better than others" attitude is a common trait among punjabis,bengalis and tamilians.

Warning: Don’t ever get any of them started on the reasons for their geneological/geographical/meteorological/literary/cultural/culiniary/linguistic/ etc superiority.

I wonder if this is somehow related to being located at the geographic extremities of the country.

Meanwhile all of us in between think Punjabis are too ostentatious, Bengalis are too obnoxious, Tamilians are too combative, but ____(fill in your region )ians/lis are the best. :-)

I suppose the true essense of being an Indian is like they teach us pre-school onwards is UNITY IN DIVERSITY: loving each other while constantly bickering among ourselves.

Modesty-
can I get a shout out for U.P.? pehchaano, yaar!

DesiDancer:

I am ashamed to admit that my feeling of superiority goes even beyond states. Hum Hyderabad ke loga sab se behthareen hei :-)Bas aisa Kayku math poochna :-)

Translation for ABCD's: We Hyderabadis are the best. Just dont ask why :-)

But ofcourse people from UP and Bihar are awesome. me agrees with Laloo: there is a vast left+right wing conspiracy to show u folks in a bad light. :-)

I know I know, UP = Bihar is incorrect, lekin what to do? U can take a desi out of India, but u cant take India out of a Desi :-)

Saurav, I hear you on your reservations about the NYT article, and it might have been better with a desi writer. But it was a damn sight better than the usual drivel found in NYT glossy supplements. And it did make some good points about Calcutta that are not known to the wider US audience. Folks don't realize that Calcutta was and is a major intellectual center, and at least that is the aspect the article addressed. So, I won't hate.

If anyone is still in doubt about the magnificence of Bengali's, let me just ask you to take a look here, here, here , and here, oooh yes, and here too, even here, oh my gosh take an inspection here as well all you Bengali Haterz, and last but not least, look at what this naughty Bengali minx is doing here

Aami Tomake Bhalobashi

not being "hooked in" to many aspects of bengali culture (i'm illiterate), i am rather shocked at how many stereotypes i notice (me, being from a bangladeshi muslim milieu). the sweaters for sure. second KXB on the talking yourself to death stuff. my parents tended to socialize with a lot of pakistanis and they generally conceded arguments to my dad because he was the last to speak and they had other things to do (like go to sleep).

tef

My cousin got married to a Bengali girl and they said if they have a son he will be a perfect combination because he will have the body of a Punjabi and the mind of a Bengali. To which my Uncle said, knowing our luck he will be born with the body of a Bengali and the mind of a Punjabi and be useless to everyone ;-)

Ah yes, sepia mutiny.. your link to glossy photoshopped portraits of bodacious brown booty. And sometimes even bootylicious bengali brahmin babes ;-)

i think many tall punjabi chicks look totally phat, but i note that in comparison to other browns i have very little body hair (some of my relatives look burmese), and i hesitate to wonder at the estrogenical analog of punjabi dude back hair :) though i guess greek chix just pluck than unibrow and make it work.

p.s. tamil + bengali + punjabi = a very verbose interpretation of newtonian mechanics illustrated physically through leaps and twists?

"body of a Punjabi and mind of a Bengali"

I've heard that one a lot.

can I get a shout out for U.P.? pehchaano, yaar!

My Formula by Approximations

= = ~

Punjabi ~ Southern Republican
Bengali ~ East Coast Liberal
Tamilian ~ Crazy Libertarian

Punjabi+Bengali+Tamilian = KABOOM!!

p.s - Sepia Mutiny ~ Jon Stewart's Daily Show

I think this " we r better than others" attitude is a common trait among punjabis,bengalis and tamilians.

Well, now, here's something: a number of Bengali friends have married Tamilians, many Tamilians get along incredibly well with Punjabis and as someone mentioned, Punjabi-Bengali is a good genetic match.

So, forget the axis of evil and worry about this love-triangle, as it seems we're out to create a master race...

What the? No Sindhis here? All probably too busy in Biz school or something. I am the lone freak that went into Intl Relations and has the time to post here.

Bengalis are in the slightly ridiculous position of having half their population stuck in Bangladesh, the other half in India. Bengali-Americans use that term to explicitly identify themselves with their cultural identity, rather than an arbitrary border line.

Identifying as Bengali American instead of Indian or Bangladesh American is sort of the same as identifying as German American instead of East or West German American.

Tef wrote:

But I can’t see someone being called a Bihari-American or a Mallu-American.

There is a Bihar Association of North America, which is really just an outfit in Houston. They probably prefer to be called Bihari-Texans.

They sound like the punchline to a great many jokes. The website has a page entitled "Bihar: Our glorious history", which has three paragraphs. Albeit glorious paragraphs.

But remember, being Bihari is not a ethnicity or a nationality, it is a state of mind. We are a all a little Bihari sometimes.

Identifying as Bengali American instead of Indian or Bangladesh American is sort of the same as identifying as German American instead of East or West German American.

Anirvan, I think there's a little more to it. A family member who has lived here for a long time and is no progressive on these issues observed: "hmmm, bangali people always separate themselves out." as an expression of curiosity that 2nd gen people would do this too.

Also, if all of us were so committed to unity, more 1st gen Indian Bangalis and Bangladeshi Bangalis would hang out together. It's not just a matter or religion either; in New York, from what I've been told, there are separate Bangladeshi Hindu temples and Indian Hindu temples. The first question you get from Bangladeshis you talk to in Bangla is "desher bari kothai?" which can often be code for "are you indian or bangladeshi?" And of course, there are the billion divisions within the Bangali "community."

That said, mad props for eschewing that kind of reasoning and trying to bridge some gaps.

uh, i didn't read through all the comments, blame it on my connection. (it's playing up. damn.)but all this bangali centric stuff--higly entertaining. might actually read up all realted stuff and post a post myself. would you (any of you) go red in the face and scream 'plagarisation'?
and...um, my first time here, so i'm really curious...why the bit about asking about celeb info?
WHO ARE YOU?!!!

oh, and could someone please please please forward the NYT adda artcle to me? dying to know what they wrote. *hiccups*
googled a fair bit, but couldn't find anything

Interesting..

Its good to hear we are generally seen in a favourable light my some Indians, the same can't be said about Pakistanis (the amount of ignorant, bigoted crap I've heard from their mouths).

I embrace all of my Bengali man's idiosyncrasies, several of which have been listed above.

What a culture... What a guy.

This is a rather late post, but I found this link on Google.

Unfortunately, I believe that Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair. Internationally, Bengalis are less known for their ancients (Rabindranath, Satyajit Ray, & co.), and more in relation to the flourishing sex trade industry of Kolkata.

"Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair"-
in many ways true. Since last 3 1/2 decades many educated Bengalis have migrated to Delhi, Mumbai and other places for a better living. Some succeeded and many got mixed in the crucible of cultures. In recent times poor people have started migrating en-masse with families from Coochbehar, Murshidabad, Midnapore and other impoverished districts taking up manual work in all parts of India.

indian film industry should b go back to home or create something new,something like hollywood.

I believe that Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair. Internationally, Bengalis are less known for their ancients (Rabindranath, Satyajit Ray, & co.), and more in relation to the flourishing sex trade industry of Kolkata.

What are you, f@#king kidding? I guess Jhumpa Lahiri, Amartya Sen, Monica Ali, Arundhati Roy (half bong), Bharati Mukherjee, Partha Chatterjee, Sumit Sarkar, Mrilani Sen, Taslima Nasrin, Gayatri Spivak, Aladdin, and several members of Asian Dub Foundation have done nothing in the past 10-15 years.

Now if you want to make an argument that the reputation was overrated to begin with (and unfair to the rest of South Asia), I can buy that. But don't give me some f@#ked up orientalist interpretation based on what U.S. film audiences like. Especially without mentioning Hrithik Ghatak ;)

"Bengalis have long outlived their erstwhile reputation of intellect & artistic flair"-
in many ways true. Since last 3 1/2 decades many educated Bengalis have migrated to Delhi, Mumbai and other places for a better living.

Oh no! What will we do! Taslima Nasrin lives in Kolkata, Amartya Sen and members of Asian Dub Foundation live in the UK, and Jhumpa Lahiri lives in Brooklyn. I think we'll manage ;) Plus culture is not just the product of "educated" classes.

Talking of stereotyping, this is something I recd from one bong - difficult to say if it is lacedwith pride or what...

"One phrase every Bengali worth his sweater has grown up with is thanda lege jabey. It is the ultimate warning of impending doom, an unadulterated form of existentialist advice. Thanda lege jabey. Thou shalt 'catch the cold'.

'Catching the cold' comes easy to Bengalis. It's a skill that's acquired almost immediately after birth. Watch a Bengali baby and you would know. Wrapped in layers of warm clothing even if the sun is boiling the mercury, the baby learns quickly that his chances of survival in a Bengali household depend on how tightly he can wrap himself in cotton, linen and wool. Bengalis have almost romanticised warm clothing, so much so that Bengali art has found eloquent _expression in a form of quilt-stitchwork called kantha.
I'm sure wool-shearers even in faraway Australia say a silent prayer to Bengalis before the shearing season (if there's any such season). I'm also sure the very thought of Bengalis sends a chill down the spine of many a sheep.

In winter, the quintessential Bengali's outfit puts the polar bear to shame.

Packaged in at least seven layers of cloth ing and the head snugly packed inside the queerest headgear, the monkey cap, he takes the chill head on. Easy lies the head that wears the monkey cap. With a pom-pom at the top, it's not just a fashion statement; it's a complete fashion paragraph.

I remember strolling down the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on a pleasant May evening. My eyes scanned the glittering stars on the asphalt - each an ode to a Hollywood heavyweight. Suddenly, my ears caught the unmistakable Doomsday warning - 'thanda lege jabey'. I stood transfixed. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is probably the last place one would like to get caught 'catching the cold'. I turned around. There was this Bengali family braving the American chill. The young brat of the family was adamant that he didn't want any more clothing but mom wouldn't have any of it - "sweater porey nao, thanda lege jabey." I need not translate that. Mom won, and the family - sweaters et al - posed for a photograph.

For a race that is perpetually running scared of cold weather, Bengalis have a surprising affinity for hill stations.

Probably, warmth of heart is best preserved in shawls, pullovers and cardigans. In an age when you are judged by how cool or uncool you are,the warmth that the kakus, jethus and mashimas exude can melt icebergs. I wouldn't trade that warmth for any amount of cool. However, the monkeycap may look cool without the pom-pom."

why are Bengali girls so wicked

for people out there who dont know about bangali history,then let me tell u abit..the bangalis have ruled alot of places,eg:sri lanka,vietnam,madras and other parts of india,punjab,indonesia and cant remember the rest.also our bangali influence is widespread.generally speaking we are a race of gentlemens who dont take shit from people..look up the ancient history of bangladesh.god bless the bangalis and bless india

hi i am filipina and my boyfriend is bangali....he wants to marry me ....is it possible?or do he need to follow the culture

to the person who said "bengali men are liberal..." ya, right. very funny. The majority of bengali men I have met are backwards. They are incredibly old-fashioned and narrow-minded. I think they are probably great within their own community, but outside of that, well no world could possibly exist for them. Based on my own observations, of course. Liberal?? Um, might want to rethink that.