India’s first marriage bureau for the HIV + has opened up in Gujurat. This is hard work in India, a country where weddings are cancelled just because one party has an inauspicious birthdate. Nonetheless, Daksha Patel (who is HIV positive herself) has already helped seven couples get married.
Both Daksha and her clients approach marriage with a typical Indian matter-of-factness. They don’t hold wishy-washy “ishq conquers all” sentiments; they know very well that life is hard and money is important.
In one exchange, Daksha interrogates a client who earns 3,000 rupees (roughly US $70) a month:
“You will have to look after yourself and your wife - you are both HIV positive, maybe you will have to spend on medicines,” says a concerned Daksha.“Will you be able to manage all this with your income?” [BBC]
Similarly, one satisfied client explains:
“I had read about this organization which worked with HIV positive people and ran a marriage bureau. I had come to find out more about the bureau - for the purpose of marriage only … I did not want a very handsome person, or a very rich person. I just wanted a husband who can understand me - and who can provide for three square meals a day.” [BBC]
Dakhsa’s main challenge should sound familiar to any desi male who has thrown a party — not enough women!
The bride-seekers out-number bridegroom-seekers almost ten to one. Of the 70 people presently registered with the bureau, only eight are women. [BBC]
Because of the stigma attached to AIDS in India, most women cannot afford to be open about their status. Between the increase in the size of the HIV infected population in India (second only to South Africa in the world) and the advent of more effective treatments, more and more people will be living with HIV. It’s time for Indian culture to acknowledge facts and deal with them.
