So the NYT runs one of those stories explaining Bollywood to Upper West Siders (thanks, Yamini). Normally they’re highfalutin’ expositions on cult film theory. But this one’s just hilarious:

Sonia starts to undress him, whispering, “Show me you are an animal.” When he refuses and walks away, she screams: “I’m not asking you to leave your wife. I just want a physical relationship. If I don’t have an objection, why should you?” The actress Priyanka Chopra had a difficult time playing this scene… Ms. Chopra broke down and cried. The directors… had to spend a few hours convincing her that she was only playing a character. [Link]

First they print a piece by a Bombay film reviewer more suited for a filmi gossip rag. Then the story tries to pass off the idea that a global beauty queen has a nervous breakdown at the merest hint of fictional sex. Oh, her delicate ears! This is the same Miss World who apparently last posed as a member of the Divinyls.

I’m all for educating film hipsters, and far be it from me to to sound like a fanboy razzing the shamans of popularization (‘Everyone knows the Human Torch didn’t get his powers that way. Duh, it’s in issue 16!’). But come on, nobody’s gonna buy this wampum.

Then we get this tidbit:

Ms. Sherawat made her leading-lady debut in 2003 with “Khwahish” (“Desire”), which grabbed headlines for its 17 kisses… (For Ms. Sherawat, it also has a downside: She says her father refuses to speak her.) [Link]

Maybe it’s not about the canoodling, maybe her dad just hates bad acting

At least I have a new bedroom line, delivered in a thick desi accent: ‘Show me you are an animal, boss.’ It’ll go great with my disco ball, mirrored ceiling and leopard-print sofa.