August 01, 2005
IIT VirginiaHumor
A Ugandan politician came up with a novel scholarship scheme a couple of weeks ago (via chick pea):
A Ugandan member of parliament has pledged to reward [high school] girls for their chastity by paying their university fees if they are virgins when they leave school… Bbaale County MP Sulaiman Madada said any girl in his district who wanted to take part in the scheme aimed at promoting girls’ education would be given a gynecological examination by health workers to check they were virgins. [Link]
“We want to encourage people to be morally upright and not to go into early marriages,” Madada said, adding, “We also want girls to resist defilement. We do not want these girls to get exposed to AIDS…” [Link]
If ‘free schooling for virgins’ were extended to desis, it would rapidly bankrupt both the IITs and the MITs. But the program would hardly cost a paisa at certain art schools in Bombay, and even in Delhi it would get cheaper over time.
Of course, if you interrogated virginal high school students before handing out the money, you might find out why they want to go away to college in the first place 
Madada has not extended his offer to young men, because there is no medical examination to prove their virginity. [Link]
You don’t need a medical exam for that. Just ask if they blog.
manish on August 1, 2005 03:59 PM in Humor · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
now i know how i'm going to raise my kids!
Heh. Love the title.
I protest at this very very discriminatory Post. Why this discrimination against non-blogging virgins ?
Madada has not extended his offer to young men, because there is no medical examination to prove their virginity.
sure there is, if he's ever won a spelling bee, you're 99.99% guaranteed he's never had any action
isn't is usual for the hymen to break while riding horses?
Depends on what you mean by 'horses.'
Horses, you know, big things, udders, make milk.
Yup PB, the hymen can break during vigorous exercise, or ahem - you know, reading Just17. Some women are born without a hymen. Some have imperforate hymens which need to be removed or cut upon menarche (first period).
But for the cash-strapped young philly (see how I tied in the horse reference there?) you can of course have your hymen reconstructed and get your scholarship.
While we're on this lovely topic, did you know that the hymen is named after the Greek God Hymenaeus? God of marriage!
Lastly, do any of you girlies refer to menses (I love that word) as 'chums'. I had this friend (and when I say friend, I mean psycho bitch) who used to say "My chums are coming". To which I would reply, "oh yeah? We gonna meet them?"
I always thought the word was a bit too appropriate for its function. Named by an anatomist with a sense of humor.
Sound it out.
Was one of her chums named Flo?
Hehe, that's a good one Manish! But don't get me started on the medical jokes.
Don't bacilli, humerus.
The IITs had this figured out ages ago -- way before blogs were around. You need to write this three part exam in math, physics, chemistry and for every dude that gets in, you have to beat 299 other dudes at it. So while your pals are taking their girls to the movies for some heavy petting, you sit at your desk and do indefinite integrals away to glory.
That takes care of the virginity issue very well.
whohoo...another posting..
i'm on a roll...
garbanzos will take over the world.. that or falafels.. ;)
Reminds me of an old joke that sex for IITians is "bayen haath ka khel"!
And of course if a girl fails the test, even if through no fault of her own, (as does happen, both for the obvious reasons and b/c of false negatives) Madada will personally protect her from the wrath of her disappointed and irate parents.
Men.
WTF - since when did IIT become synonymous with being a virgin? Just because its true doesnt mean u shout it out from the rooftops :)
Its just that we prefer solving indefinite integrals to solving the vagaries of the female mind. I am ANNGGRRYYY!!
I think I will ask all my fellow geeks to hack into your servers and post crap or crash them forever GRRR!!
Desi Dude in Austin - U only beat 299 guys? What a loser ;) What r the numbers exactly?I thought the acceptance ratio was higher than 1:300
P.S - U reading Freakanomics?Its awesome aint it?
Just kidding abt the hacking - dont call homeland security :)
What I wanna know is, are they virgins in the American chastity-pledge movement sense of the word? You know, "everything but"? Do you think taking it up the bum makes them less "defiled"?
My dad, who was a public school teacher, was of the opinion that all girls should get Norplant their first day of high school. This of course made my feminist skin crawl, but he just despaired over all the teenage pregnancies. If the guy was truly about wanting to prioritize education over early marriage, he'd just say "if you make it to graduation without getting pregnant or an STD, here's your money." Then boys could be eligible as well. Otherwise the dude is just a dirty old creep.
I had no idea what norplant was ... holy crap.
Well, she a chum called Scarlet.
Manish, you're on form. I've just got a second, so I'll tell you my all time favourite.
A guy walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of adenosine triphosphate please.
The barman says "Sure thing. That'll be 80p"
Ah, genius. OK some more.
A guy accidentally drank some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effects. Apparently he was ambidextrose.
But hey, not just medical...
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius Strip?
To get to the other...er.. umm.
A proton walks into a bar and says "I've lost an electron!"
The barman says "Are you positive?"
There's a sale on, protons £1, electrons 50p, neutrons...no charge.
There are limitless geeky your mum jokes too:
Your Mom is so stupid, she uploads executables in ASCII mode.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to use substitution to find the definite integral of f(x)=x^2 over the interval 0
I love being a geek. Thank you thank you, I'm here all week. Seriously, try the veal.
dumb marriage dumb: the issue isn't with whether a lady is defiled as a result of having sex. the lawmaker in question wanted to reduce the number of STD's that are ravaging his district especially.
i initially didn't think it was such a horrible idea...i mean, anything to reduce STD's and promote education of females in a developing country, right? but then i thought about it...if parents get the wind of this law, they're going to pounce and want all their daughters to take advantage of it. what happens to the daughter who won't pass the gynecological exam?
Horses, you know, big things, udders, make milk.
Um. did I just not get the joke? Speaking of which.... BongBreaker, you owe me a new keyboard.
p.s.
C, E flat and G walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve minors here." So E flat leaves. C and G have a fifth between them.
now that I've thoroughly humiliated myself by snort-laughing out loud... good one, Andrea!
Now I don't get the joke.
jt: "the issue isn't with whether a lady is defiled as a result of having sex. the lawmaker...wanted to reduce the number of STD's..."
The guy straight up said "We also want girls to resist defilement"! If you want to reduce STDs, acting like some kind of Morality Police and probing around girls' vaginas to look for the mythical hymen (which is mostly destroyed by puberty (or tampons) otherwise how would menstrual blood get through?) is completely the wrong way to go about it. It makes you a dirty old man, not someone concerned about public health. Provide some comprehensive sex education equally to girls and boys, free contraception, and discuss the benefits of education over early marriage -- don't obsess over whether girls have had anything inserted into their bits before.
Andrea: worst. joke. EVER. ;)
BongBreaker : spitting out soda on your keyboard while you laugh unexpectedly tends to break said keyboard ;)
But I did control myself, so you're really safe. It's just a euphemism for OMGLOL :)