August 11, 2005
The only time I'm not "from India"Musings
Outrageous, bold and deadly no wonder the media loves it. Every single time I turn on the TV or glance at Google News, I catch the latest development in the saga of Jennifer and George Hyatte, the outlaw married couple whose adventurous last few days read like a gangsta rap wet dream.
A US inmate has escaped after his wife shot dead a guard who was escorting the prisoner outside a courthouse in the state of Tennessee, authorities say.
Police say George and Jennifer Hyatte fled the scene in Kingston in a vehicle which was later found abandoned.
A hunt is under way for the former prison nurse and the escapee, who is described as “extremely violent”.
After that daring escape, the terrible twosome was on the run; they headed to Ohio (said, A, O, way to go Ohio) and got in a cab with one deliciously skeptical Mike Wagers. Wagers, their driver, made small talk that would later lead to a dramatic capture:
“The cover story they gave me didn’t really seem to wash too much,” Wagers told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith Thursday. “I mean, I could kinda see through that. But I had no indication that these guys were really dangerous or they were on the run.”
They claimed they were heading to a sales conference of Amway, the household goods manufacturer. But, says Wagers, “They didn’t strike me as the Amway type, because, to be honest, they weren’t very pushy about their product. And I’ve dealt with (Amway salespeople) before. So that was my only real suspicion.
Genius.
What about you? Have you enjoyed the fervent courtship of an Amway-ite? I know theyre everywhere but I was never approached, annoyed or harassed until I moved back to DC this year.
It started near the Pentagon. I had returned to my second hometown for a wedding, but ended up extending my ticket because I was enjoying myself. The only problem? I had flown here in mid-Autumn. When it was still nice. I came with one suitcase, filled with Kanchipuram and pajamas, since theoretically Id always either be at some wedding function OR Id be sleeping. Silly me, I didnt bring a coat.
On one memorable weekend jaunt to Costco, I couldnt take the shivering any longer, so I wandered over to the other side of Pentagon Centre, to the closest clothing store. Mindlessly, I tried on jackets, fiddling with zippers, testing hoods, debating choices in front of the full length mirror.
That one is nice, a very timid, sweet voice commented.
I turned around to find a petite, pottu-wearing, curly-tressed South Indian woman with a stroller. I thanked her and thought about buying the coat she had complimented, since I was in a hurry to get out of there. I smiled past my reflection in the mirror, at the pure and virtuous picture she presented. She was rocking the stroller back and forth behind me and she looked hesitant. My heart started to melt. Had it been difficult for her to approach me? She was so quiet, I was shocked that she had randomly said anything to a stranger, even if it was a brown one. It just didnt seem consistent with her demure image; she was the exact opposite of scenery-masticating me.
I took the coat off and started to walk away, on my way to the registers.
Escuse me, are you from India?
I whirled around and smiled again. I actually hate that question, but she was too nice to hate on My parents were from Kerala. And you?
Oh, I am from Chennai! she replied eagerly. It was clear that I wasnt going to be leaving the store anytime soon, especially after she blurted out how shes new to the DC area and didnt know anyone. The story just kept yanking on my elastic heart strings; she was younger than me, away from her family, a new mother, friendless and intimidated by swamp citya place I have always maintained is ruder than NYC, but thats another postI was totally her bitch by the time she finished expelling her breathless tale.
When she asked me if Id like to come to dinner sometime, I did that bizarre internal double-take where I immediately knew that if this person werent South Asian, I wouldnt even consider it. I didnt have the time to get in to an examination of my personal biases so I told her maybe and resolved to debate myself later, when I wasnt rushing around with a to-do list.
Oh, but you MUST come to our home! a voice boomed, from somewhere near Junior Sportswear. It was a man, obviously husband and father to the two I had been gazing at for the last few minutes. He introduced himself as Hari and said that he had overheard me say that I was Mallu. And…what is it that you do?
I laughed nervously. This was my one-year sabbatical (a concept that no Brown adult besides my saintly mother grasped) and I hated that question, too. Im in town for the week I work at Scores, I replied mischievously. I had guessed that he wouldnt have the foggiest idea what that meant, from the lack of recognition on his face, I was right.
Uh, okay. Well, are you interested in increasing your income? I own a business and Im trying to hire a few people. My wife seems to really like you, so you’re probably a great candidate!
He handed me a very boring business card that told me nothing besides his full name and cell-phone number. I disregarded the holdings, limited and other nonsense.
I was starting to get uncomfortable; my friends would undoubtedly be wondering where the hell Id wandered off to and something about his card and demeanor was making my spider sense tingle.
THERE you are, ANNA!
Startled, I turned around to see one of my friends. He looked at the couple oddly and then stared at me with a gaze so meaningful, I knew something was up, I just wished I knew WHAT.
Were leaving, now. Weve been waiting for you, lets go. She has to go.
But my coat?
No time, were late. And with that, the outerwear was snatched out of my hand, its hanger hooked haphazardly on a display that showed off J.Lo separates.
Nice meeting you! I called out, as I was unceremoniously yanked out of the store.
Once outside, I demanded an explanation.
They werent being social, TRUST ME. Theyre probably doing some Multi-level Marketing crap anyway, if you knew how much trouble I just saved you from, youd be thanking me.
Um, okay. Whatever.
Back into Costco I strolled, still shivering. I temporarily forgot my goose flesh and became transfixed by the Chanel bag that was locked in the display case near the front. Ive been to Costco stores in four states and NO other location carries Chanel purses, for Cocos sake. The D.C. Costco must be respected, y’all.
Are you from India?
What the-?
A South Asian man was smiling at me. He told me that his name was Sanjay, he was from India and that he lived in the area.
What do you do? Sanjay asked.
Oh, are you KIDDING ME? it was my erstwhile Kshatriya in shining armor (if by armor we mean Paper, Denim and Cloth). Sanjay was suddenly very excited.
Hello, are you from India too? he started to reach for his business cards.
No, my friend snapped. Im from the United States of AMWAY SUCKS.
I started to walk away and I didnt turn around as Sanjays voice grew more desperate, louder.
You dont know what youre missingextra income! You should judge for yourself by meeting with me!
Somewhere in the bakery, when we had successfully put the entire store between us and Pushy McPusherson, my exasperated friend turned to me and said, Twice. In less than twenty minutes. It’s unbelievable, like they can smell you or something. You HAVE to stop talking to these people.
I was still too befuddled by the insanity of the past hour to really listen to him. I couldnt stop pondering this new truth that my mind refused to wrap aroundBrown people sell Amway?
:+:
Apparently, they do. While browsing around today, I learned that the blogger behind Instant Kaapi (don’t you just lurve the name?) Hemanth has walked in my shoes, and unlike awkward, stumbling me, baby, he can strut:
What are the chances of you being approached by fellow Indians with a ‘Business proposition’ at a Barnes & Noble or a Borders Bookstore, five times in a day! I would say pretty good
Hemanths post, When you hate “earning extra Money”! has the best suggestion that Ive ever encountered for dealing with these uncomfy situations:
X: Anyway hemanth, I would love to be in touch with a Business man like you. Can I have your phone number and email?
I offer a smile, ask him for a pen and a piece of paper, write down the Phone Number and the Email ID from the Card he just handed over to me, on a piece of paper and exit the Store.
Genius.
anna on August 11, 2005 02:56 PM in Musings · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
Hi,
Over the years, I have lost friends (or ones I thought were friends) due to Amway. I just break my contacts with them. Most of them have been from Indian origin but they have been others (non-Indian) too. I have seen reach of Amway in India and South Africa.
I have had long distance calls from Indians regarding Amway. Once I was invited to an Indian party but it was Amway brainwashing session. It was horrible and I got really upset. You cannot even breathe.
Kush
look out, not only is the scourge of Amway hitting the desi scene hard, Quixtar is Amway's competitor and from my experience there are tons of desi's involved in this scheme...and they trash amway to make you feel more comfortable about entering their pyramid scheme. And since the author of the Rich Dad,Poor Dad series runs Quixtar, they try to use that to legitimize their business. My wife's friend was trying to get us on it! What kind of friends are those!?
Here's some Amway/MLM jokes...
M. Nam
Watch out for the Quixtar people at Barnes & Noble! They always tell you they're in "E-business," which at one time probably sounded impressive...
I even got accosted by a Pyramid scheme guy at a New Jersey Gurdwara once... madness.
Didn't realize this was so prevalent...
So I'm waiting for the 6 train home (NYC) couple of years ago, I guess during the dotcom era. And this chubby Indian guy ambles over to me and asks me if I'm Indian. Usually when women ask me the same question, I say "No, I'm horny"...but I assured him I was. More detailed questions about my age, background, and profession followed. He told me he's starting a startup and needed young, hardworking men to fill a variety of positions in the org...so silly cash-strapped me thought of him as possibly legit...hey man who doesn't conduct job interviews in the Union Square station???
Next day he calls me up and asks me if I can go to a sales meeting after work. I boldly said yes. He picks me up in the corner of midtown with one other chap who turns out to be a Indian of Iraqi Jewish descent. And a complete madman. Dude has half his body out of the car, Dukes of Hazard style hollerin' at passing woman down Lexington Avenue. Our sales meeting turns out to be in the boondocks of Jersey at some Marriott. Over there I find out it's all just some "e-business" pyramaid internet market scheme. The audience was filled with hundreds of Indian and African immigrants nodding her heads to the teleevangelic speaker and taking notes. Stuck in the middle of nowhere I retreated to the hotel bar to down some Coronas.
The two clowns I came with finally gave me a ride back to the city at 10. Oof.
Dateline NBC did a piece on QUIXTAR sometime back. If I remember correct they are the same people who started AmWay.
!!! Watch Out !!!!
I get attacked by these Amway people all the time. They seem to hang out everywhere - parks, Indian stores, malls, theaters, driving ranges on golf courses, Costcos, Best Buys, laundromats - on weekends.
that's awesome ANNA! between your story and Instant Kappi, I think I've concocted a perfect scheme for getting rid of these guys, should they ever jump me.
Now if only I had a better way to snub those irritating college kids who hit you up for Children International at every bloody street corner in Manhattan.
Last year this seemingly respectable middle aged alumnus contacted the Austin chapter of my college alumni association. Apparently, he was a Veep in some two-bit IT outfit based out of Austin and wanted to volunteer and create more activities etc. for the alumni association. A few of my pals were quite gung ho about it. This guy invites everyone to Sunday brunch, and the few guys that landed up were mostly grad students in their early twenties. This guy then made them split the lunch bill.
Then this guy handed out his business card to everyone around him and asked them if they would be interested in 'making extra money'. Then he proceeds to outline the bizzare pyramid scheme that will generate millions for these guys in the years to come. Disturbingly enough, some of these guys actually went ahead and got enrolled! They went through some stupid brainwashing deal with 'motivational tapes' about how to approach your friends, pressurize them and then corner them. I cannot believe this shtick works on people that go to grad school! Some got their PhDs!
I am now convinced that intelligence has very little to do with academic degrees.
Hi,
In graduate school, my office mate and I even went to a Marriott Amway meeting. This one we did totally for fun and the meeting was very cult-like. We were the only ones not taking notes and smiling. It was definitely hilarious. The invitation originated from a phone call from Roorkee alum in States who I hardly knew or even could put a face to him. My office mate and I wanted to try check the scene for babes (that was our only reason to attend the meeting). We stuck around for 10-15 minutes and then escaped.
The Indian dinner party I was talking about earlier had one white "John and Mary" couple who were very happy to meet all these enterprising immigrants (or associates).
Kush
clearly i'm an oblivious fool b/c i have NO idea what amway is. it's one of those words that sounds vaguely familiar but i must concede my ignorance in this case. anyone want to bring some clarity to my befuddlement?
What Amway is.
Jt,
Don't worry. I had never heard of Amway either. :)
Here in Austin, there's a dude hanging around in Walmart. First time he meets me in the kitchen section, he asks me are you working in Dell?(*I am not. Amway alarm ON*). I purposely lied, "Yes". That guy goes, "aah, I think I've seen u somewhere in Dell. blahblah..blah" (*Confirmed, this guy is amway, I manage to get myself out*).
Same Walmart..next month. "Are you working in Intel?" (*Again, I am not*). I say yes, and the same standard line repeats. I remind him that last month he saw me in Dell. This time he manages to get himself out :-)
I tell you these Amway guys..uughh !! they can't even remember their past victims.
A few months ago, two desi guys chatted me up in a fancy mall outside Detroit. I didn't quite know why-- it was much longer than the usual friendly conversation, I knew they were selling something, but wasn't sure what.
Their story was they were selling outsourcing services, but in retrospect the mall is a strange place to do so. I'm now wondering whether it was MLM, and they didn't finish the sales pitch because I wasn't a local.
Interesting. I never get aproached, even when I see them hassling people right next to me. Must be my pronouced lack of energy, enthusiam, enterprise or drive. Maybe with the brainwashing, they teach you how to sense these things, like a Jedi. Or an Operating Thetan.
Jehovas Witnesses, however, zoom to me like I'm effn Magneto. Wish I knew why.
My first epxerience with Amway was at the university library. While studying for an exam, and an Indian grad student approached me and asking me questions about what I was studying. Very loud fellow, and I was just trying to get him to shut up... because it was a library. Unfortunately when he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him in the hope he would leave me alone.
He did. For a week. Then the calls began. He invited me to hear a presentation at his apartment. Oh how naive was I.
The Amway pitch began amongst a small crowd. Luckily, none of the audience was fooled. Instead of making a break for it, I enjoyed my time arguing trivial details and glaring absurdities from every slide he showed (something I also love to do with the Jehovah Witness people). The audience was mine. Then I left before foul play could befall me.
Desi couple, in the country for less than 6 months, get my number from mutual acquaintance and invite me over for dinner during which he will share with me a business proposition. Suspicion erupts like chicken pox on a five-year-old. The moment guy puts the words "detergent" and "percentages" in the same sentence, I tell him I'm not interested in his pyramid scheme and that that's what it is.
Guy gets defensive and tells me, in effect, that I'm just an igorant girl. I remind him that I've been in the country a lot longer than he has and ask: "Do you really think that you are the first opportunistic Indian to pull this on me?"
Kills me that they think they are IN ON SOMETHING GOOD and that they were the first to get there.
I have a lot more Amwayville Horror stories, an epic that crosses decades, races and generations.
Dude Suhail! I was so pissed I nearly started the Austin Scientific Society For Amway Rejecting Techniques (ASSFART) where we'd use high school math and economics to explain why the deal does not work.
rofl!!!!
(yes my sense of humor is that of a pre-teen male. so what)
Aha! The Indian connection thickens! Check out the Guardian story.
Excerpt:
Motel manager Kundan Desai said Wagers checked the couple in around lunchtime, paying cash for a three-night stay in a room that runs $52.99 a night.
...
The Hyattes were arrested at the America's Best Value Inn in Columbus...
DDA,
I hereby nominate you for the president of that society. Me? I'll be the treasurer :-)
Ok, I have never been approached by Amway people and nor had I heard of Amway before I read this.
After reading all this I have a question.
If Amway can find so many people to distribute their products (associates?) its obvious that someone gets to collect the (entrance fee?) from these people.
So does that person make some easy money ?
Sure Suhail. You can start by addressing me as Your Sublime Flatulence.
AMFD: Yeah, if you are at the top of the pyramid, i.e. the root of all evil, then you collect piles of cash from unsuspecting fools. For more info call 1-800-ASS-FART (ok this is getting peurile...the last time I say it :) )
Back to the Jennifer & George story ... the motel they were apprehended at was managed (owned?) by one "Kundan Desai"
DDA, gawd..you are toOO much.
AlMujahid,
You have not lived fully if you have not been Amway-ed, seriously. It's an experience everyone must go through once in their lifetime.
My husband was caught in a rainstorm in Chennai some years ago and agreed to share an rickshaw with another poor drenched soul. Wouldn't you know it, the co-passenger turned out to be an Amway salesman!
Ever the Amway-humorist, hubby decided to take a lighter view of it and took the opportunity to argue the finer points of MLM when - to his horror - the rickshaw driver turned around and started off on a sales-pitch as well!!
Needless to say it was a long ride home.
FANTASTIC acronym. :D
This post is awesome. Sounds like all these shady desi tech-type dudes in the Bay... is that Amway, or some tech pyramid thing? When they approach and ask the question, I just glare at them and subtly shoulder-shove them as I walk away ... so I never really figured out what they want ... ?
can we make it the American Scientific Society instead? I'd hate to be left out but DFWSSFART doesn't really sound as good. :(
Is Amway doing financial planning these days? Because those are the ones who always accost me. "Don't you want to learn how to manage your money? Please, come to this meeting and find out." Grr. I don't want your product, OR your free food or hotel party, or even your prayer session - the weirdest MLM tie-in I've ever heard. Who are they going to pray to, the god of mammon?
And I thought Wal-Mart had a strict "no solicitors" policy. Surprising to find him turn up in the same place twice.
It's not solicitation if you don't get caught.
I've been waiting to use that line! ;)
*choking with joy and emotion* Look Suhail, we're going National now!
But here's my theory on the prayer tie-in. Ultimately, MLMs don't seek to prove that they form a good business model. Good business models, after all are best evaluated by I-bankers and the like. They are simply out to reap more suckers in with nothing more than persuasion. And what better way than faith-based persuasion.
Hey that's what my full-body extraspecial tantrc-sensation massage lady says too :)
respeck...maison
I just have one question about ASSFART.
Are we required to recruit five more members in order to receive any benefit from the organization?
And then each of them will have to recruit five more and then more and more our numbers will swell exponentially till we have created a vast army of people who will ring the doorbells and tap the doorknocks of people across this vast land and tell them about the Danger that is Imminent upon them. Our collective forces will knock the wind (pun intended) out of the MLM perps.
Ofcourse, I'll have to send you the motivational tapes.
Has anyone ever been to one of those large Amway/Quixtar shindigs that take place in convention centers? Is it true that 50%+ of the people attending are desi?
DDA man..you keep up the evagelism here. I am coming out with the bumper stickers, T-shirts..mugs..et al.
we'll register a .org domain...and tie up with fat desi aunties who after years of being tormented by ekta kapoor's saasbahu serials sought refuge in US. We'll play up their sad sagas of how they were Amwayed and have turned anorexic(fullto with 'Before', 'After' fotuus). Safeway will be our major sponsor. U seee safeway v/s Amway!, also safeway has wide presence in Bayarea.
Also, we have to play a bit liberal-democratic types(remember media)..Our success stories will start appearing on local radio channles, on blogs..on Sulekha and Indian community functions. Then a plug on NPR..a piece in NYT..and finally Manish or Abhi will write a post which goes :
"Anna had pointed us to the dangers of Amway[1, 2](*insert humour) Well our own brown commenters from Austin (*some more humour, and pats-on-back*), have made it big in anti-Amway....(*pats on the back all the way to the end*)".
Wait it's not over. Then PunjabiBoy and Razib will trade atleast 50 links between them in the comments secton, meanwhile Al Mujahid and BongBreaker will be having a full-blown heavy-duty ethnic-etho-psycho-socio types discussion with 5 other commenters all at the same time. And we? We will be somewhere in some exotic island cutting deals, playing golf and doing what we were supposed to do in the first place instead of writing these stupid sepia comments.
God, we would be the first commenters anywhere to have reached blog heaven.
You get my grandmos world domination plan? So just hold on, okay. I'll be right bk from Walmart to get a photo printer for the bumper stickers. You just wait...
HOLY SHIT
so thats what it was!
ive been approached as well by such ppl, and never had any idea.
in fact, one of my "family friends" is really into this, full time. I could never figure out what he really did for a living...haha i even thought 'desi mafia of sum sorts' at one point haha...but alas, nowww i know.
greaat post, sm is actually teaching me shit. :)
Wow. jt/Abhi, I'm glad you said something or I'd go on feeling really out of the loop. Never ever heard of this. I've never had a woman pull the "Are you from India like me" thing, so I always assumed it was a lonely guy thing. I do remember Matol KM from 15 or so years ago. . .no Wikipedia entry on that though . .and I've gotten stuck on the wrong end of a Melaleuca repeat order. But all of those relied on pumping your existing social network. Never heard of anyone business-hitting on strangers. That's even creepier than creepy-stranger-normal-hitting.
Gosh yea I got "assaulted" by some of em ... this one dude got me early before I realized that this was such a scam. I even went to this "networking" session but when I got there, I was like, "what the hell is up with this!?" and walked out.
I have now developed a deep hatered to people who try to recruit me into these schemes ... it's unfortunate, they haven't done anything wrong to me but I feel it's a blatant disrespect to my right to privacy.
Do they not do this to white people? Because I've definitely never been Amway-ed. Or do they have white reps who come up to us and go "So, are you white?" Please tell me that the latter is the case so I can start dreaming up witty replies.
Suhail! I bow before you. That was the funniest thing I've read all day!
(This thread is actually making me sad that I haven't had a very special Amway moment of my own, so I can't join the fun. ...So alone and cold out here..)
A good tip is to just keep the Amway cards you been given and in turn use them to introduce yourself to other Amway people.
One day, someone somewhere will write a brilliant dissertation on Amway.
Psst... cica, i can hook you up you know. Just a word from me and they'll descend on you.
A couple of weeks back, this chick traces my phone number from my school webpage (I am in Engineering, I am desi, high correlation. Obvious demographic profiling) and calls me and starts off with "Hi, I am [insert dreamy Indian babe name]. I noticed your webpage". At this point I was beaming and about to ask her if she wanted to go out and get a cup of java or something which is something I usually do with female stalkers.
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress proceeds: "I was wondering if you wanted to meet up"
DDA: (thinking) Yes! Yes! Yes! That pic up on my page is a moneymaker! (now vocalising) umm...sure, but what's this about. (note the skeptical tone that also makes me seem less forward)
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress: "Yeah, it's a business plan. I note that you are with the Entrepreneurship Society at [school]".
The 'business plan' trigger goes off. Entrepreneuship enthusiasts usually call with "hey did you know about the new patch that can enable blah on blahtron. It's all over friggin Slashdot. Well guess what, I think we've done one up on that. We'll totally rock Google's world, know any VCs?" They are never mysterious veiled women with 'business plan' ideas.
Unknown DesiDudeInAustin stalkeress: "Yeah, this e-marketing scheme"
DDA: (disgusted noise) No. And stop wasting your time. Go get a book or something. Flipping burgers at Wendy's pays better in a wages/hr ratio. Seriously.
Anyways, to get back to the point cica, I could totally call her and hook you up. Then maybe she'd want to jump me in gratitude :)
>Do they not do this to white people?
Yeah, they do, but you have to kind of hang around the same place for awhile. (I am accosted while working demos at the supermarket for an ice-cream company)
Also got one at the train station one time while waiting for my husband.
But mostly I run into them online, on different websites. (into natural foods/herbal remedies? You'll find TONS of MLM there. Tahitian Noni, anyone?)
I have a friend who keeps going to these things even though I tell him MLM is a scam. And yet he keeps going. This is the one who told me about the prayer meeting/self improvement seminar one.
I want to go to one some day, just for the free food and the laughs.
DDIA, only if I can repay the favor by sending some west Indian Jehovah's Witnesses your way ;)
It's always the women who approach me, and they really don't seem to mind going out of their way (like down into the subway with me) so I'm sure Austin won't be, like, far or anything.
Of course, you might have a hard time getting past the rather prim attire. But just be sure to nod when she says, "Are you wantin to ear da wurd of de Laird, bwoy?"
But the moot point is, will they agree to jump you in return? :) Otherwise, it seems like I get a better deal out of this.
Oh, you're such a sweetie to have such qualms! Fear not, and have fun young 'un, cause I will have made her swear on a stack bibles to:
a) NEVER ring my doorbell for 5 minutes at a time, or at 2 minute intervals for half and hour at 7 in the effn morning.
b) Stop littering my hallways with Watchtower leaflets. For that matter, to stop shoving copies into my hand when I walk by.
c) convince her friends and her pastor-person that my stretch of street is not the place to screech "The Old Rugged Cross" through a bullhorn, every bleedin' Saturday morning. I live on the 6TH FLOOR and the TV still can't drown them out.
No sex, but not such a bad deal, yeah?
So, I know this is a "hate-on-Amway" strain (or, hate on Alticor, since someone brought up Quixtar), but is there anyone out there whose parents actually bought Amway products and used them when they were kids?
Around our neighborhood and city, a lot of guys who couldn't find work got into Amway (and I believe also bought the Brooklyn Bridge for a nickel), it wasn't considered such a bad thing to do. At that time, the target-group was not immigrants, but Vietnam vets who couldn't get jobs because of blown limbs and minds and it was hard to refuse their sales-pitch (when a guy missing a hand says "These gloves will protect you from just about anything," you kind of feel like buying). Some of them wore suits and bought houses, people thought they weren't so bad until...
1981, on April Fools, two days after Reagan was shot, one of these Amway-guys came strolling through our neighborhood and because everyone was so wigged due to the shooting, he had his best day ever. He sold everyone all sorts of junk and told all these stories about the military and some old guy even took a picture of him. It was a very Yankee Doodle day and no one would have thought anything of him or Amway until some cops swooped into our neighborhood, while the guy was still there, and asked if we'd bought any products that day. Sure, we did, from that nice Vet who came by. Well, the cops said, are you missing anything, like jewellry, money, checks, anything? Ahh...
Mr. Amway had ripped off a bunch of stuff from many people, the most significant of which was the windshield wipers off that old guy's car. And so, as some of us were sitting on our bikes making Porky Pig jokes, the guy came running down the street, chased by the police, and as he went by, that old guy came out shouting for us to stop him. But most of us were just into junior high, pretty young and truly American, so we just watched in apathetic silence as the guy ran into the woods and disappeared. And as we were revelling in the stupor of having a president shot and an Amway salesman turn criminal all in the same week, that old guy starting hitting us up with a broom-handle and accusing us of being "in-cahoots" with Amway.
Needless to say, there are many details of this moment that are interesting, however, the most significant are that, sadly, the old man was arrested and that the neighborhood had a meeting that night to officially ban Amway and all other salesman from the neighborhood. And, for whatever reason, perhaps because Reagan had just been shot, at the close of the meeting, someone decided that we should all sing the Star Spangled Banner, which we did. And everyone sang the anthem with pain, acting really victimized, as though the Amway salesman were John Hinckley, which I think is why my dad started cracking up during the song, which in turn started a whole other chain of events...
Anyhow, Amway, yeah, not such a good thing.
Anyone have any idea what "BWW" is?
It's not quite the same, but I had someone approach me about purchasing pre-paid legal services....2 weeks before I graduated from law school :)
this thread is too rich.
re: jehovah's witnesses and such, you guys ever have hare krishnas try to proselytize you? that's pretty entertaining too.
peace
oh my god I had a friend try that one on me! He was a sweet guy, just really not the "work" type of person, but his musical career just wasn't bringing home the big dollars. So inevitably every 6 months or so he'd fall into another one of these stupid invasive marketing ideas-- Amway, timeshare sales, and then the pre-paid legal services. UN-freakin-believable. At the time I was maybe 22, so my answer was something like "what legal needs do I have, beyond fixing a traffic ticket?" But he was dead insistant that my future was looking so grim I would definitely want to consider pre-paid legal services... I think he did a stint with some evangelical outreach, later on...put a real damper on his career as a hard-core funk musician when he kept witnessing to people at shows...
cicatrix, abhi and saheli, i'm so happy to know i'm not the only pariah in the world of amway. =) i wonder what it is about me that has turned all amway reps off? do i exude a certain funk?
i've been approached by people all the time who ask if i'm indian and if so, from where. those conversations never went further than: oh i'm from bombay or do you speak hindi?
i must also admit that i've never been approached by a jehovah's witness. the only time i ever accidentally had an encounter with one was when i was at my boyfriend's cousin's house on halloween and i saw two guys dressed in suits. i opened the door to give them candy and then realized they weren't boys playing dress up but men with pamphlets in their hand. they departed after a moment...which is unique, from what i've heard.
yeah, it must be my funk.
DesiDudeInAustin
I agree with you and always believe that "intelligence has very little to do with academic degrees".
And let me tell every one about Amway/Quixstar/blah blah blha, all these suck and it shows so many stupid people around us and they still believe that they are going to be stinking rich by joining Amway.
One suggestion, next time your some one approaches with this Amway things and the moment you find out he/she is talking about Amway, say that person this "I am very interested to invest in Amway and you were looking for the opportunity. How can I invest $1 mil. in Amway."
If he can give you any lead that would be so best help you ever got in your life. Make sure to say that you interested of owning share of Amway not their stupid Pyramid chain.
Go to this site if you want to know how Amway/Quixtar are cheating people.
http://www.letsgetthewordout.com/amway-quixtar-blog/merchants_of_deception/archives/amway_quixtar/amway/
Read here NBC DateLine investigation
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4375477/
If Amway can find so many people to distribute their products (associates?) its obvious that someone gets to collect the (entrance fee?) from these people.
So does that person make some easy money ?
the thing that makes these pyramid schemes go is that the last guy in the pyramid/food chain is the one out of cash so he has to keep selling to recoup his costs. Thus the plague spreads.
Has anyone ever been to one of those large Amway/Quixtar shindigs that take place in convention centers? Is it true that 50%+ of the people attending are desi?
i haven't been nor ever will I, but my wife's friend who is a Quixtar junkie has told us it's pretty much massively desi. The sad part was she tried to get my wife into it as a start to 'owning your own business/destiny' and 'come to DC w/ us and we'll hang out and meet tons of new indian ppl and have a party'...it took me a wk to convince my wife that it was a scam...she's too naive sometimes...
Do they not do this to white people?
they'll do it to anyone but it's harder for them to be taken seriously by white folks. They prey on desi's by pulling at the cultural hearstrings like they did Anna. It's much easier to start a conversation when you've laid down a familiar base and used the time proven 'desi bhai' icebreaking routine. It's harder for Gopal Venkatarmanisubramaniam to approach Bob Anderson and find common ground. Other than the fact that Gopal probably got Bob's job in the outsourcing boom. j/k
I have actually been accosted by more white folks than Indian folks w/ Amway/Quixtar. Once when I was 19 and had no idea what Amway was, some random guy came up to me in the hardware store and told me I looked like a smart guy (i had a huge mushroom hair cut, 3 earrings and was just a punk back then) and that I was exactly the type of person he was looking to help since he made $50k/month....i was all excited and it took my dad 2 wks to convince me that this was a scam. I wondered how he knew. Then I went to take a shower and of course, there was sitting a bottle of Amway shampoo which chemically burned my scalp....:(sigh):
That goes down as a documented case of 'the burnt child avoids the pyramid scheme'.
Thanks for the links Asis.
uh, if you exude a funk, we should bottle it and sell it. turning off amway/avoiding detection is a GOOD THING. let's reframe this for you: instead of feeling excluded and ostracized, feel fortunate.
speaking of bottling it, once we do that, each of you is responsible for recruiting five more
pigeonsprospects and bringing them to the nextpresentationer, meetup. ;)All you need to say when approached by an indian dude selling AMWAy dreamz is "Ki pasa,hablas espaniol".You shud have been there to see the look the guy gave me because he was pretty sure i was dicking with his judgement.
"First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!"
This thread is hilarious. andrea beat me to the suggestion of the ASSFART acronym going American. "New Orleans' own NOSSFART" sounds funny, but isn't as puerile as real flatulence. We really need to set up a membership page. A vial of holy water and 3 free repulsive techniques if you join NOW!
Yeah, I had an Algerian Hare Krishna walk with me to my flight at JFK trying to convince me that my interpretation of the Gita was wrong. A part of me thought it was amusing and pretty cool in a "transcending culture" kind of way, and another was going "WTF?!" Ditto for Amway.
Oh, my mom once bought a tub of Amway powder detergent to get one of her friends off her back. It turned her black clothes grey, and that was the end of that.
P.S. As for women selling Amway, like ANNA said. The pottu-sporting ones with Bambi eyes are the most lethal.
wait...does this mean that none of you is interested in bottling anti-amway funk? i promise that b/c we're a trapezoid scheme, we're ASSFART-approved.
am i the only chrissie hynde fan here? no one else caught the pretenders reference? tsk-tsk.
http://assfart.blogspot.com
I feel like a proud daddy now.
I got approached by a desi guy i a mall last week. Unendign conversation - the usual- where from., working where, etc etc. All the while he was trying to hold my hand. Kept saying "we have to meet up on weekends " etc. Had a tough time esacaping him. But he wasn't Amway. He was gay.
Evangelical conservatives think they're the same thing. Gay conversions-- run!
Ironically the closest thing to an Amway revival is an evangelical revival.
I had some short-lived joy when I was a freshman in college and a White dude started talking to me in bangla. So sad when I found out he was only in it for the God angle.
I never get Amway people attacking me either...I'm shocked that so many people have. I did get this weird e-commerce pitch over and over and over from a guy who made t-shirts for me for work. He wouldn't tell me what it was about--had to show up to the seminar.
I said no :)
cica,
i once spent about a half hour trying to convince a jehovah's witness (or some variation thereof) that she should support the free burma movement on the same grounds that she supported getting into the afterlife.
It was aggravating...I think for both of us :)
"In the early 1980s, Paul and his friend were recruited into the Amway business.
"Paul used Amway techniques in many facets of his life... Although Paul didn't make much money from Amway, the philosophy he embraced from it and other motivational mavericks justified his own crude and selfish longings.
"As he and his friends cruised the bars every night, they spun fantastic stories about who they were to any pretty girl that was naive enough to believe their lies.
"By the time Paul went to college at the University of Toronto, his sexual fantasies had developed a dark side. Forceful anal sex was his preferred means of pleasure... He began beating up the women he dated.
"In 1987, Paul became the "Scarborough Rapist" in the Toronto suburb in which he lived..."
- from Court TV's Serial Killers--Paul Bernardo section
The rest of the story is too sick to get into here and of course that means Hollywood used it as inspiration for two films (8mm and Karla)
Really? You guys are too nice. You gotta try take the game to a whole new level.
After the usual "Hi. How are you doing?" and "Are you from India?" will come the inevitable "Are you interested in increasing your income?". You've got to wait for this question. Very, very key. After every "stupid question" comes the "witty comeback". Here, in the public interest, are some snappy answers to stupid Amway questions.
Q. Are you interested in increasing your income?
A. Yes! Can you make me a quick star?
Q. Are you interested in making more money?
A. Yes. I believe in Truth, Justice and the Amway.
If that doesn't shake him off, remember that you can always continue the theme. I can tell you more, folks, but alas, I can't give it to you. This sort of stuff must come from within. And where you can go with this is limited only by your imagination.
Q. Are you interested in making more money?
A. Yes. I believe in Truth, Justice and the Amway.
Q. Oh, I am not from Amway!
A. Oh, sure, tell me more. With my super-brains and super-sstrength, I am sure I could use some super-money.
Q. You don't know what you are missing.
A. Brains not working, must overcome the field, ahh.. must be the Kryptonite. I'm Clark BTW. And you are?
I was once accosted in the Albertson's near my house, the one I always go to, while trying to buy some frickin' milk. Dude comes up to me, and says that he is from , and asked me where I was from. I wish I treated the situation differently. Remember - grocery aisle milk products aisle requires grocery aisle milk products humor.
Q. So. How is work at your company?
A. It has been pretty good. My group has so far been a cash cow for the company.
Q. Where do you work?
A. I work at this small company called the "Daily Planet".
Q. How do you like your job?
A. Not too bad, not too bad. Hmmm, can you see through these walls?
The rest, folks, I leave it up to you. I would advise treating the situation with the wit and humor that it deserves. And then, you actually start looking forward to meeting these lovely folks.
I truly might hold the world record for having been contacted by more Ambots than anyone else. Quite an emotional roller coaster it has been. Started with shock and disbelief, turned to anger and hatred, mellowed to indifference and now has matured into pity. Pity because every one of these poor suckers isn't just the conman (conperson?). They are also the mark. You take them as the greedy stalkers, but before that they are victims themselves.
I have attended three of their conferences. First one out of ignorance, the other two out of the morbid curiosity of a scientist studying the green stuff that grows under rocks and feeds on worm $hit. Never before in my life have I come across a lot which is more brainwashed, programmed and so complete in their denial of reality.
What level of IQ and logic does it take to understand that Amway/Quixtar is a ZERO sum game? For the guy on top to make millions, a thousand dimwits at the bottom need to lose their moolah.
But I suppose that if Amwaying is a crime, it's just a bigger crime to let a sucker and his money stay together. Some people learn by watching other people's mistakes. The rest have to pee on the electric themselves.
This is a great thread. I myself was victim of Ambots. I came from India for short visit and I am accousted by 2 fellow indians separately. One of them had taken me to the Quixtar conference and taken my cell(asked to read some books and view CDs). I am waiting when he contacts me again and i will get rid of him. The second guy, also will have same fate. Thanks to this post for giving gr8 ideas and education about them.
Pity on ambots, they are highly educated and want to make their dreams without working hard.
Once again thanks to this post.
Wow! I had no idea that this was such a widespread phenomenon. I was hit by these quys too! I think these folks I ran into might have been aces that have been doing this for a while now.
I'm an American-born Desi. My father ran into one of these characters at the DMV and gave him my contact information for whatever reason (probably because he was good at Desi small-talk).
So this guy contacts me over the phone, makes small talk about himself and my father, and asked me if I might be interested in an e-commerce venture. He wanted me to hear a presentation at a place that was just minutes from where I live so I figure why not; I'm open-minded to business opportunities.
So I show up at this guy's private residence and there are maybe half a dozen Indians there and another Asian fellow.
The presenter was sharply dressed, well spoken, humorous, low-key fellow who outlined a so-called e-commerce business opportunity. There were comparisons to McDonalds franchise business model, lots of talk Quixtar being affiliated with various Fortune 500 companies like Panasonic, Staples, whatever. But then he talked a bit about this plan and it started to sound a little dicey, kinda like, well, the Amway pyramid scheme (I didn't know Quixtar was just Amway on the Internet at the time). But then he talked about how it wasnt at all like a pyramid scheme.
A couple other people spoke. After they were through talking, we made small talk and they spoke with me about some kind of larger seminar going into greater detail as to the whole business model. Again, these were older people, well spoken, seemingly well-educated professionals who were low-key; their attitude wasnt "OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!", it was more like "just listen with an open mind and see if it's something you'd be interested in". There was actually nothing that screamed scam at the time.
But things got fishier when this guy handed me a CD and a pamplet as I was leaving. A shrink-wrapped CD and pamplet?? So I get home and do some research into Quixtar and learned all kinds of fun stuff about the Quixtar/Amway phenomenon.
Needless to say, I won't be attending this seminar. Im saddened that this phenomenon is so widespread and that many young hopeful Indian students get suckered into it. But I also wonder why. Im as gullible as the next guy and even I wouldnt go anywhere near this! Just doing some googling will bring up a Dateline NBC transcript and a Forbes article about this phenomenon, as well as extensive Quixtar/Amway bashing with literally hundreds of Dont get suckered into this like I did, please stay away testimonials. So how is it still spreading??
obviously not enough people read US yet. ;)
in all seriousness though, thanks for leaving such an extensive comment. i love that this post and the discussion it has sparked has warned/is warning others about this b.s.
Hmmm...I've never been accosted by Amway people either, inspite of living in the US for 6 years. I have been talked to by random desis in grocery stores a couple of times, but the conversation never got too far.
Maybe I possess the "funk" too :)
Well, a lot of people say that I look/dress/act more latino than desi, esp after my salsa fixation began, so that might be it :D
Unfortunately these amway/quixstar parasites are everywhere and growing in numbers. There is a huge desi contingent that has been lured into these schemes and these desis are making life hell for other desis at malls, indian stores, costco's, walmarts, or any other place where there is a congregation of indian people. I have been accosted by such parasites at least 10 times over the past 3 years. These parasites have some common pick up lines like:
~ "Hi i think we met at the part last weekend". The naive desi will often try to correct the parasite and say "oh no i dont think we met" to which the parasite responds "oh may be not but you look just like the person i met last week at the party", next the parasite begins to introduce himself, asks about the desi's job, home, etc etc etc.
~ "Oh you think this brand of cookies is worth buying, whats your opinion". In this case the parasite is trying to synch up conversation. The conversation very quickly moves from cookies to where are you from shit and then to the business proposal
~ "Hi do you work at HP", very very commonly used here in the SF bay area. Typically the desi turns around and says oh no i dont work for HP but for agilent or intel or yahoo or whatever else. The parasite then starts his conversation and says how he used to work for one of these big name tech firms and how he now makes 10 times more money doing his fking quixstar gig.
Have any of you seriously considered t-shirts that said "I hate amway/ quixtar" or "i am not interested in your stupid pyramid scheme!"
I am thinking of at least a badge of that sort that i can wear as my protective shield when i go shopping. Two accosts in one day :(
Heh. Never once :-) Not in the Bay area, and not elsewhere. I am blessed it seems.
The head of Amway is now running for governor of Michigan... Lord help us...
Hi guyz
Just want to inform you all that Quixtar is legitimate and a fantatsic oppurtunity.If some monkey writes in his blog something then a 30 year old system, a 7 Billion dollar company making millionairs just next to MS will not be scamstar.
I spend day and night doing this business and I make real good money.Also the impact is in all spheres of my life.
My relationships with people has been improved.I got outstanding achievement award in the office because of the education involved in this business.I have fans now across nations.I have started writing my book now...what not !!It has been a dream come true for me.
You need to ask one question to urself before believing anybody :
If you want to learn cricket whom will you listen , sachin tendulkar or your manager or your grandfather or a monkey(see above) who dose'nt knows about this business but speaks/writes about it at length.
Wise man will always take a decision after seeing both side of coins.Make sense ..right!!
Let God improve these concrete minds
Aameen.
A Proud Quixtar leader
Buidling leaders, Educating success
Dear Saur
I am sorry Saur, will pray for you in the next harekrisha local prayer meeting- you are really brainwashed into quickstar. But yes- Quickstar is a good revenue model- though only for the top guys who can get gullible guys like you. Though of course from the confidence in your mail, it seems that you are too deep in the shit to see anything outside. Btw do you really want to make money- I have schemes for doubling your money in 15 days flat. If interested, do give your email ID- always on the lookout for promising guys like you.