LOL!! What can I say...very interesting bit of info there!

I bow to thee, Uncle Garu. Keep up the good work! :-)

That would be height of innovation. Would love to try some samples :-) and i thought indian only made software

The last one looks like a mushroom. Clam and Mushroom?

For some reason, the male condoms above remind me of the Oscar statue. Coincidentally I was reading Bukowski yesterday, those who have seen the movie "Talk to her" would know what I am talking about - that would be a terrific Freudian link behind the flash of inspiration that led to the invention of these.

I'd think a corkscrew design would be more appropriate for opening a bottle of wine.

These are also very good for guys who have trouble (ahem) fitting into traditional condoms, or guys who are uncut. The extra room on top accomodates foreskin quite nicely, while being ribbed for her pleasure.

Of course, the best way to accomodate men of various sizes and shapes is to use a female condom. While not quite as aesthetically pleasing, it really is one size fits all.

It really isn't true what they say about Asian men ...

p.s. I think the superhero you wanted was the older, and more classic, "Plastic Man"

I know how his kids feel...My dad was thinking about opening a condom factory in Kenya, and for a year or two there, instead of the nice pretty picture books that sat on coffee tables at other "respectable" households, we had various boxes of condoms...I found it amusing, my lil bro not so much.

come to think of it, the only picture books we ever had lying around, were of the human body, specifically the nether regions...

that was life in a house headed by an OB/GYN :)

This was hilarious.

I'm actually really impressed to see that Dr. Reddy designed a female condom too. While it's cool that an Indian is the father of the creative condom, a female condom, as opposed to traditional male ones, leaves contraception in the woman's hands. (This female condom looks pretty innovative too...the base of the ...stalk-y looking thing is thicker and looks like it would stay in place, as opposed to other female condoms that tend to slip around and lose their purpose.)

It's too bad this guy's not politically motivated. Free condoms to schools could be part of a great sex ed program and be free advertising for the companies.

Ah, I think I have something to offer here.

During my Abhi-themed BSc, I met a girl who worked for Inspiral Condoms (or whatever the parent company is). She gave a few free samples out to all and sundry. I didn't want to be greedy and take too many, but then I realised she had BOXES of them. And THEN I noticed 'MADE IN INDIA' and it was such a novelty I had to have more (perhaps knowing they were Indian added a sense of danger!)

So I took 500.

I must've saved hundreds of pounds over the years. Was it worth it? Nah Inspiral aren't that great...but definitely worth a try. The spring-action effect is very cool but they just don't feel that great. Haven't tried the company's latest offering though.

And THEN I noticed 'MADE IN INDIA' and it was such a novelty I had to have more (perhaps knowing they were Indian added a sense of danger!)

BB, I'm cracking up right now! Have you seen that Seinfeld episode where Kramer gets all those generic condoms from Bob Sackamano, then George thinks he got his girlfriend pregnant with one of them? Hilarious, yo.

I must've saved hundreds of pounds over the years.

Hee hee! I hope you checked the expiration dates ;)

Hee hee! I hope you checked the expiration dates ;)

I doubt my girlfriend would want me divulging exactly how long it took to use all 500. But thanks for the concern Rupa - you're someone that understands what it's like...

"Honey, get the condom"
"Sure baby" Light on, check what's in the packet, check expiry, check blood group, rhesus status, get 2 nurses to record it in the notes and counter-sign. Ensure sterile method and open packet. Use.

You know, they were giving out more free condoms at Freshers' this year (I never miss a freebie), which the rep told me were "honestly-named condoms". They were called 'Mood Killers'.

(You know Rupa, we both blogged about Grey's Anatomy. But we have rather different views.)

Who uses condoms?

Thats a very interesting Question?

Who uses condoms?

sounds like the lead-in to a bad after-school special :)

Who uses condoms?

People who The Pill doesn't agree with?
People who don't want to get STIs?
People who can't take The Pill?
Too few African and Asian men.

Too few African and Asian men

My dad told me that back in the day there was a HUGE resistance to condoms in Kenya and other African countries, and public health officials couldn't figure out why (it wasn't just a case of sensation loss).

Well it turned out it was a colour issue...back then condoms were more opaque (and therefore appeared more white when worn) and black African men (and women) were horrified at the thought of their member appearing "white." Bringing new meaning to being F'd by the whities...

I thought that was really really interesting... any thoughts?

Who uses condoms?

Even if STIs are not a concern, it is advised that couples not wishing to conceive use two methods of birth control.

Too few African and Asian men.

And desis are the worst at getting tested regularly too. Worries me tremendously. Whether you're using condoms or not, if you're getting laid, get tested. Think of it as community service.

Because other people are dirty and have cooties.

Condoms are not effective against crabs.

BB: so true. And 'Mood Killer' was what we nicknamed our entire Labor & Delivery rotation.

Kenyandesi: How did they solve that problem? Do you know if they finally marketed darker condoms in Africa? I remember hearing about that problem when The Patch first came out...it only came in one color and minority females were really opposed to wearing it because it was so obvious on their skin....like, Look at me, ya'll!!! I have sex!!

(Although buying condoms is just as "brazen" I guess. And so is pregnancy. Hmm. Okay, shutting up now.)

Even if STIs are not a concern, it is advised that couples not wishing to conceive use two methods of birth control.

Really? I thought that a condom was 99% effective - that is, 100 couples going at it for a year should find that only one got preggers at the end. Do you really have to use the condom and a sponge?

-- DD (Not really from Djibouti, but I just like saying it)

Really? I thought that a condom was 99% effective - that is, 100 couples going at it for a year should find that only one got preggers at the end.

Actually, it is more like 14.

http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html

Wow - those are some scary stats. I was also surprised to see that, on average, a female condom was no more effective than a diaphragm. Heck - even the pill has a failure rate of 5%.

Wow - those are some scary stats.

Wondering about that too. The study is dated, 1997. I expect the current technology is more reliable. Also, the middle column is typical usage rate, not the best scenario.

I doubt that 1 out of 100 people will get pregnant even with a condom, much less 14 out of a 100! Both seem too high. I don't think that's what the 99% stat means. And if it does....

I have to question the research methods, and whether the condoms in question were used properly to begin with, or maybe some broke....which is probably pretty rare.. I'm sure that 1 out of every 100 condoms will not break. Or, maybe some folks were embarassed they didn't use a condom (and alot of people don't after they get comfortable with a partner for a while), so they just used the "condom malfunctioned" excuse.

Heck - even the pill has a failure rate of 5%.

Again, I have to question if the pills were used properly by the 5% for which the pill failed. Most people will not admit they forgot to take pill, or didn't take it at the correct time of day, etc, etc. It has to be taken properly to be effective... so probably not so much as a pill error as a human one.

Really? I thought that a condom was 99% effective

Wow - those are some scary stats. I was also surprised to see that, on average, a female condom was no more effective than a diaphragm. Heck - even the pill has a failure rate of 5%.

Well the failure rates increase with improper use. Often times people put condoms on after they've begun intercourse forgetting that pre-cum has sperm, or condoms tear/break, or are expired or stored improperly, or are put on the wrong way and then turned around...remember that it takes only ONE sperm to fertilize an egg.

As for the pill, women aren't completely consistent and the pill demands that for effectiveness...

I'm sure that 1 out of every 100 condoms will not break.

The study does not say that. It says how many women got pregnant out of hundred in a year of usage. Also, note the difference between typical usage rate and lowest expected rate columns for various methods, for implants, both figures are about 0.09% (very low). For other methods, which require handling, remembering to take pill etc, the difference is much more. Obviously the typical usage rate takes into account people forgetting to take a pill, not using the condom properly and even sometimes foregoing it.

Assuming a woman has sex 200 times a year, using the best case 3% figure and assuming every condom failure results in pregnancy, the probability of condom failure works out to be 0.00015, that's astoundingly low. I would think it is more like 0.1 - 0.5% rate of failure (the difference explained by the fact that every condom failure does not result in pregnancy).

Rupa wrote:

How did they solve that problem?

well condoms today are a lot more see-through..I'm talking about when they looked much like white latex gloves...

I heard makers of ortho-evra (the patch) are looking into other colours.

Because other people are dirty and have cooties.

Condoms are not effective against crabs.

I was talking about these cooties:
AIDS,
chlamydia,
genital herpers,
genital warts,
gonorrhea,
hepatitis B, and
syphilis

not these ones

I would think it is more like 0.1 - 0.5% rate of failure (the difference explained by the fact that every condom failure does not result in pregnancy).

Yes, I agree. That's what I meant.

Whoops! Er...forgot to change my name back. Above comment not by Will Ferrell.

I think, given that the study is 8 years old, that probably today's statistics may indicate less failure rate with certain methods-- ie, the pill. In addition to such convenient offerings as Seasonale and Yasmin, the effectiveness has improved greatly.

It's not your Mama's birth control... ;)

Although it is called "New Contraceptive Choices" this report cover all the old favorites, and was released in April 2005.

html

pdf

It covers:
Vaginal Rings
Transdermal Contraception
Contraceptive Implants
Combined Injectables
Condoms
Fertility Awareness-Based Methods
Oral Contraceptives
Intrauterine Devices
Transcervical Female Sterilization
Male Hormonal Contraception

Oh Ang, we caught you redhanded....

OK! I am not going to argue against KenyanDesi.
Apart from being a 55 expert, shes a Condom expert too :)

Your that is not allowed near my this without a condom on it, whether I'm on the pill or not, dammit. I'm super paranoid, plus it's easier clean-up for me. BOOYAKA!

plus it's easier clean-up for me.

I thought it was a self-cleaning organ:
http://www.teenwire.com/infocus/2000/if-20000421p067.php

My organ is - THEIR organ isn't.

Apart from being a 55 expert, shes a Condom expert too

OÝa Bula Bula Bi, I care only about the things that really count ;)

Reminds me of the story, where a kid is asking his mom why his bro is named Thundestorm and was told that there was a thunder storm the night of the conception, and he kept thinking how could his name be broken rubber.

Your that is not allowed near my this without a condom on it, whether I'm on the pill or not, dammit.

Shame on you all for discussing this so openly and without any laaj. In my day we never had sex, we didn't even know what sex was. Many of us still don't, despite having about a dozen children. You should never use a condom -- sex is only for married couples, and only then for the sake of making babies. In fact, you should only do it in the complete dark, and don't you dare even taking your clothes off. And for God's sake don't make any noise, because you don't want any creaky bedsprings or "ooohs" and "aaahs" to wake up Uncle and Auntie in their own bedrooms down the corridor (being good desi children I'm sure you all live in nice extended families). If you're a woman, God help you if you actually enjoy it -- good Indian ladies don't enjoy "it", even when they're married. Tauba tauba tauba. No I don't want to hear about the Kama Sutra or any of those embarassing temple carvings in Khajuraho.

Good Indian girls just lie there and let their husbands get on with it. Some slobbering, some grappling, and then three seconds later it's all over with a gasp of "Oh Bipasha" (if you're lucky) and "Oi Maa" (if you're unlucky -- but we won't talk about that...)

three seconds later it's all over

Three seconds? THREE SECONDS?!

Man, are you superhuman? That's like six times longer than my record! Wow your wife/girlfriend/life partner/gerbil must be a very lucky woman/schoolgirl/confused young man/rodent.

Funny post though Jai. I wonder what opinions are like these days? I'd like to have a big discussion about Desi attitudes to sex (Razib, no A+ allowed) but seeing as my blog attracts one lonely surfer who typed in the wrong address and a mountain goat, perhaps SM is the place? *hint hint*

My two cents:

[I just wrote a whole essay on Indian guys and girls, NRIs and FOBs but I realised I sounded like some sleazy filth merchant. So I deleted. As soon as you all tell me that's what you thought of me anyway, I may re-word it. Or wait for the SM SEX DISCUSSION.]

Come on you lot, let's have a Sepia Orgy. I am very interested to know brown opinions to sex in 2005.

*or should I have said "funny post Jai's indignant family friend Auntieji"

All desis are not created equal. For example Jamaican desi males (like myself) are internationally renowned for laying down pipe.

You're plumbers? Excellent. Look mate, I've had this terrible problem with the downstairs loo, it's not flushing properly. Can you fit a new stop-cock?

I didn't say I was Super Mario, cat, I only repair leaky females,

I am very interested to know brown opinions to sex in 2005.

Me, too. Out with it!

Actually, I'm more interested in how the opinions have changed in the subcontinent.

Leaky females? You're an incontinence expert? I didn't realise you were a medical man! Personally I tell all my patients to work our their pelvic floor muscles at the bus stop. Cosmo ran a great series of exercises ALL ladies can do to:

Avoid those little accidents when you laugh a 'wee' bit too hard and

Launch that ping pong ball a few metres further.

Why WERE Mario and Luigi plumbers in the international release? Weren't they carpenters orginally? Or am I making this up?

Anyway, let's not get distracted from my main objective - getting an SM thread on sex.

Lord Kitchener has weighed in with his servicing of Jamaican ladies. Clearly a whole thread is needed.

Look, Ang WANTS IT REALLY BADLY as well. A debate, that is. Whether it'll become a MASS DEBATE remains to be seen.

I have lots more bad jokes if my request is not noted. It doesn't have to be now - it doesn't have to be tomorrow. I just want written confirmation that SM will do a thread entirely dedicated to attitudes to sex amongst desis all over the world before I get married and stop having sex forever.

Anyway, let's not get distracted from my main objective - getting an SM thread on sex.

Why don't you start it off, then?

Ang WANTS IT REALLY BADLY

LOL.

I can't start it! I'm not an exalted member of the order of Sepia!

Wait, wait. Give me some time and I'll do some research for you beautiful Mutineers. That way you'll have something solid to blog about instead of just saying "Bong Breaker keeps banging on about banging". So belay that order Mr Worf and smoke me a kipper, I'll be back with more info (at some point soon).

Bongo you are lil late. India Today has come out with a complete Sex Survey. Can't actually find the direct link to the survey, but heres a BBC take at it.

Ok Ang, so lets hear all abt ur preferences.

Bongo you are lil late

How odd, girls normally say the exact opposite to me.

No no OYBBB, that's old news! Attitudes in India are occasionally discussed - but I'm actually more curious about opinions in the diaspora. The few Brits on here have probably racked up at least...oooh...a girl between us, so we can give the British Asian standpoint and then all you lot can give the Canadian/American (or even Jamaican) view!

Seriously, what sort of brown girls and guys exist in today's West? Are they VERY different from Indians in India? Are they having more or less sex? Are they stuck in the past? Etc...

But like I said, I'll get something concrete first. I know the person to talk to.

India Today has come out with a complete Sex Survey

That article about attitudes of parents and teenagers in India is not surprising, but I don't think the discussion between parents and children is any more open here in the vest. Basic sex education isn't going to cut it. I was lucky I had good self-esteem growing up, but alot of my peers had to learn about sex and relationships the hard way.

Yes, they teach you about condoms, puberty and the pill, but that's not enough. Mostly I think girls and their mentors (teacher, parent, etc) should have frank, open discussions about relationships, sex, and self-pleasure, so they don't fall into the trap of believing they have to please some boy to have any self-worth.

But I digress... that's an aside point. I think BB wanted to know more about adults, not teenagers. BB, you may have to wait till after office hours for a response from readers...

Bong Breaker,
Nothing personal, but your posts are weaker and more transparent than you constant referencing of your profession. Is that a U.K. brown thing, or just a brown thing?
Whatever it is, I find it paritcularly irksome.
Peace

Condoms are way too expensive :(

See this is why I did the film Salaam Namaste. Noone told me these stats.

Why do girls expect support if there is an accident? heck!! How am I responsible if the condom had a leak. I wore one, didnt I?

Saif Khan

Condoms are way too expensive :(

Try this

Condoms are way too expensive :(

but the alternatives aren't??

but the alternatives aren't??

Some clearly aren't

What's so expensive about holding hands?

Lord Kitchener, Christ mate get a sense of humour. What's more irksome, me referencing my profession or you referencing your supposed prowess in bed? What exactly are my posts transparent or weak in reference to? By the way, I don't have a profession, I am a student. I doubt anyone here gives a shit what I do from day to day, but surely it's natural to talk about what you do.

Peace, blaadclaaaat.

www.freecondoms.com

No glove, no love.

If your wiener has no cover, I shall not be your lover. BOOYAKA!

but the alternatives aren't?? Some clearly aren't

I meant alternatives of getting pregnant and the cost of raising a child, getting an STD or something terminal and the cost of medical care... hell, condoms are significantly cheaper that oral contraceptives. However, like a metrocard, your cost savings increases with more use...

BOOYAKA!

With no cover, it would be like:

BOOOOOOOOOOOYAKAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Clearly you are missing out.

I'll say this about sexual attitudes in the subcontinent.

I think my friends there have a LOT of sex. There is a lot of promiscuity and from what I've heard from a certain cousin, a lot of girls he knows are trying to break out of that "I'm a good Indian girl" mould. Of course, not everyone is like that.

My first question is, WHERE? where do you do it? Most of them live with their parents and no matter what socio-economic class you come from, the percentage of households, where the parents would be cool with sexual ongoings of unmarried kids is Very small (Heck, thats true of desi parents in the US also)

It's usually on the terrace or in the car. Bal Thackeray's Culture police are havin' a field day! :)

Some clearly aren't

more cheap bc:

but only condoms can stop cooties :)

No glove, no love.

If you already can't tell I'm a huge safe-sex advocate, OK a sex advocate in general, so many of the worlds problems could be solved....but I digress...So this one time I was at this weekend long party promoting a play I was in and raising money for AIDS orphans, basically it was a meat market too, and at one of the concerts I somehow got pulled up on stage and got a hold of the mike, so I yelled "Tonight remember No glove No Love!"

Some people didn't get it. They thought I had a michael jackson fetish...

Either way I got branded the glove girl.

Ohhh what a weekend

With no cover, it would be like:

BOOOOOOOOOOOYAKAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Clearly you are missing out.

No, only if you are male and have to wear the cover.

but only condoms can stop cooties :)

Even better - a long term relationship with a trusted partner.

No, only if you are male and have to wear the cover.

Is that really the case? Condoms don't make any physicial difference for the female at all?

No, only if you are male and have to wear the cover.

Is that really the case? Condoms don't make any physicial difference for the female at all?

Most women I have talked to prefer sex sans condom, especially if they already have lubrication issues that are made worse by condoms, especially condoms with the spermicide nonoxynol-9

Even better - a long term relationship with a trusted partner.

In an ideal world. But alas, ideal our world is not.

And in that case abstinance is really your best protector, but the truth is people have sex, and whatever kind of sex they choose to have and who they have it with is their business. Mine is to try and make it safer.

Either way I got branded the glove girl.

Ohhh what a weekend

KenyanDesi, its time you started a blog on your personal life. I am in awe of your fascinating lifestyle! Only wish I went to such glove parties :)
But what the heck, your Blog will help me live it vicariously!
I even have a name for ur blog - DesiGloveGal.com :) Rush b4 BongBreaker beats you to the domain name !

My first question is, WHERE? where do you do it? Most of them live with their parents and no matter what socio-economic class you come from, the percentage of households, where the parents would be cool with sexual ongoings of unmarried kids is Very small (Heck, thats true of desi parents in the US also)

I used to live in Vadodara (AKA Baroda), and it was famous for its beautiful gardens. They were also notorious 'make out' spots. Especially during Navratri (Garba) when couples would sneak off into a dark corner, behind a bush or something. Plus people always had that one friend or relative who was never home, but you had access to said persons home. Maruti vans were popular, too.

One of the city's pools where I used to swim was in one of these gardens. As a 13 yr old, riding my bike past some used rubber on a dirt trail behind the garden evoked both curiousity and sheer repulsion.

All the condom ads that flood television in India are hilarious. We bet a friend once that he couldn't walk up to the pharmacy and buy a packet of "Kamasutra" condoms. Well, he did, and we paid out. The dolt he was, the guy simply put the packet in his drawer. When his mom was cleaning up the room a few weeks later, poor lady was shocked and really pissed off thinking that her 15yr old was active. He told the truth and all was good. It still makes me laugh, though.

Condoms don't make any physicial difference for the female at all?

Most women I have talked to prefer sex sans condom, especially if they already have lubrication issues that are made worse by condoms, especially condoms with the spermicide nonoxynol-9

Alright! Alright! Maybe just a little "drying" for some people but nothing that can't be solved with lubricant (or foreplay) if one has such issues. My point was to encourage safe sex, period.

Is that really the case? Condoms don't make any physicial difference for the female at all?

Most women I have talked to prefer sex sans condom, especially if they already have lubrication issues that are made worse by condoms, especially condoms with the spermicide nonoxynol-9

KenyanDesi, I've got to agree. It's not just men who have "issues" with condoms, it's women as well. Most women I know just don't like them. They use them, but they'd really prefer not to.

Near as I can tell, women like female condoms even less than male condoms. They're expensive, a bit tricky to put on, and have that "garbage bag" effect. They also increase the risk of vaginal farts. Why people worry about the last one is beyond me - folks look and sound pretty silly while "doing it" so why should they worry about one more sound effect? Still ... It's a shame though, since female condoms interrupt the "process" less than male ones do.

-- DjiboutiDesi

My first question is, WHERE? where do you do it? Most of them live with their parents and no matter what socio-economic class you come from, the percentage of households, where the parents would be cool with sexual ongoings of unmarried kids is Very small (Heck, thats true of desi parents in the US also)

Make love, not war, but nothing while driving.

There's your answer.

Let's continue to talk about all the sex that "other people" or "friends" have.

LOL.

Vhat is all this sexy-sexy talk?!! Shame! For SHAME!!!

None of you are *suitable*! Not one! How you are knowing all about this condom-fondom, ha? Is this what you are studying when you going to the library?!

I told Uncle-ji there is some funny business happening at those places! What else you are doing there? Smoking ganja, yaar?!

Two tight slaps, you are all needing. Just vait!

This whole thread is like a used condom off some mental masturbation

Well,

I never knew condoms are used for this :)
Now I have some idea on why they use it. Thanx SM

I am running to the nearest store....with all the excitement in the world........to try that thing.......a sudden thought.......don't I need a girl to try this out.....now comes the herculean task of finding a girl.......I walk to my home, dejected with all the excitement down the drain.

After watching Steve Carell in 40 Yr Old Virgin.....I think there is some hope still left in me :)

hey I hope my auntyji didn't turn people off from commenting! All in good fun, yaar?

I echo the call for safety above all else! No glove, no love!

(btw...does anyone else think the female condom looks like a jellyfish? Just me? Does this mean I'm immature? It's ruining my Finding Nemo memories, fer sure.)

They also increase the risk of vaginal farts

Vaginal WHAAAA ?...NOOOOOOOO....

Ignorance was bliss...

KenyanDesi, its time you started a blog on your personal life.I am in awe of your fascinating lifestyle! Only wish I went to such glove parties :) But what the heck, your Blog will help me live it vicariously! I even have a name for ur blog - DesiGloveGal.com :) Rush b4 BongBreaker beats you to the domain name !

Awww shucks! Thank you :) I will let you know when I finally get around to it. I had started a friendster one, but when it sent out all those annoying "your friend X has updated their blog" to people I quit

Alright! Alright! Maybe just a little "drying" for some people but nothing that can't be solved with lubricant (or foreplay) if one has such issues. My point was to encourage safe sex, period.

That's right Ang, we want periods every month....ok, maybe we don't want them want them...ehh you know what I mean

Vhat is all this sexy-sexy talk?!! Shame! For SHAME!!!

...Is this what you are studying when you going to the library?!

..Two tight slaps, you are all needing. Just vait!

That is not what uncleji told me. He said you two were singing and acting out songs like from Roja--"rukhmani, rukhmani shaadi ke baad kya kya hua*?" and "choli ke piche kya hai**" And during navratri you were doing more with the dandia than dancing...auntiji, shaadi ke baad kya kya hua?

----
*Rukhmani, what happend after the wedding?
**what's behind your blouse?

nothing that can't be solved with lubricant (or foreplay)

yeah go foreplay, even if it's the only play...that's good too...ok, must shut up now.

With no cover, it would be like:

BOOOOOOOOOOOYAKAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Clearly you are missing out.

Argus:

It's always like that with me. I'm not missing anything.

It's always like that with me.

You don't exist, although you are every man's fantasy.

I do exist. I just have it like that.

I'm brushing off my shoulder as we speak.

I'm brushing off my shoulder as we speak.

Ahem.

"Ahem" indeed ;)

With regards to the question of discussions/education on these matters by Indian parents, I can't speak for people back in the subcontinent, but here in the UK anyway it tends to vary quite wildly depending on the specific family; some parents are a little more liberal (some would say "realistic") and are aware of the isses involved in pre-marital dating, and therefore make sure their kids are responsible in these matters. With regards to other parents, they don't approve of their adult children dating full-stop and therefore any discussions/advice regarding contraception are regarded as being a moot point, since as far as they're concerned their sons/daughters shouldn't be having premarital sex with anyone anyway.

Plus don't forget the culturally-conditioned "sharam" factor on the part of many -- by no means not all -- of the 1st-Generationers, which prevents many parents from discussing anything relationship-related with their adult children at all and, simultaneously, prevents their kids from broaching this topic with their parents (as their folks "don't want to know about it and don't want to discuss it"). This also follows onto other factors such as the prevention of open, mature discussions about what one wants in a marital partner too, but that's a different (albeit related) off-topic issue.

It often comes down to deliberate barriers to communication; which can be highly irresponsible on the part of the parents, but the cultural conditioning in these matters can be pretty heavy. A lot of mental and emotional "blocks".

He said you two were singing and acting out songs like from Roja--"rukhmani, rukhmani shaadi ke baad kya kya hua*?" and "choli ke piche kya hai**"

HAHhhaaa!! Kenyandesi, it's like you peered into my memories! Freshman year of college, I got roped into participating in a Diwali fashion/dance show. Basically, each girl came out to a song and danced about a bit before twirling away.

So I'm lip synching along to the song I'm supposed to dance to, feeling confused about why the choreographer girl wouldn't tell me what the words meant (hey I'm sri Lankan!) and why my dance had to be so much about heaving breasteses......completely unprepared for the wolf-whistles and hollers I got that night as I danced out to "cholie he piche kya hai".

(((cringe)))

why my dance had to be so much about heaving breasteses

Teeehheeee...the choreographer girl was smart ;)

The Hindi version of Rukhmani is even racier--chock full of innuento, but I heard that the origional tamil (I think it was origionally in Tamil) is even more scandalous...

Jai Singh,

Your points are well taken. However I would like to point out that parental involvement is another key issue. Consider this - American parents definitely do not feel shy about talking to their kids about safe sex. Yet teen pregnancy and other risky behavior is much more prevalent among their kids compared to their Asian/Indian counterparts. Asian/Indian kids also start out at a much later age. This is because their parents really get involved in their kids' lives, spend time with them and push them into academics/activities.

Another dangerous factor is the widespread belief that condom makes everything unquestionably safe. Unfortunately it is not so. More unfortunate is the fact that doctors, government agencies and other sources claim that condoms provide virtually 100% protection against STDs. The truth is, according to leading experts, they may at best provide about 70% to 80% protection in real life usage scenario. You might ask, why are we being mislead? Well, this is a conscious choice that has been made. When communicating this data, the experts were caught between a rock and a hard place. If they said condoms do not provide as much protection, it could trigger a rejection of usage (I do not care, I would catch bugs anyway). By announcing they are 100% safe, they are making a bet that usage will increase, which as a matter of fact it has. But it has spurred risky behavior among some rational people who would otherwise be more cautious.

I think people need to be taught about the risk issue involved with condoms. Bravura phrases like no glove no love or if you think she's spunky, cover your monkey do not mitigate the risk factors. People need to be taught risk management - if you desire more return, you have to have a better appetite for risk. Here, the return is analogous to perceived sexual pleasure and I am assuming it is directly proportional to the number of partners and other risky behavior. But it also increases risk. Yes, the risk is low but it does exist. And it goes up riskier the behavior. Contracting STDs is not cool, especially not HIV, Hep-C etc.

So, I really think condom parties are perpetuating a myth. People should be taught about Sexual risk management and then allowed to decide what they want to do with their lives.