It has been said and said again several times over, but here is something that bears repeating: India has the worst airports in the world. Our escalators open up unexpectedly and swallow kids; our toilets are horribly bad; our conveyor belts are too small to hold all the bags from a single plane (leave alone the 3 that arrive at one time); sleeping is impossible and even if you escape the airport in one piece, you still haven’t escaped the airport mafia.

And it is only going to get worse - the rapid growth in the Indian economy and the mushrooming of budget carriers in the country means that in a couple of decades from now, Delhi and Mumbai will be as busy as Chicago or Atlanta are today. Imagine. The solution to the problem is quite simple of course: A lot more money, which the Government does not have. As early as 1997, the Government of India released an “airport modernization policy” that said among other things that:

Looking at the quantum of investment required the answer to all the problems lies in the infusion of private — including foreign — investment in this sector. [Link]

Meaning, we don’t have the money. And we think the way to fix these airports is by handing them off to someone else. After a lot of hemming and hawing, the policy finally looked set to take off this year with the Government inviting competitive bids to privatize the management of the two biggest airports in the country: Delhi and Mumbai.

Then the bidding process ran into trouble, and so they appointed a technical committee (but of course) that evaluated the bidding process and okayed it, and then another committee was appointed to make sure the technical committee knew what it was doing. And finally, a decision was made: The bidding process produced a couple of winners. Nice.

Uh uh. Not so fast. This decision was just a cue for the Communists to enter the fray, pulling in some unlikely capitalist allies.

Look at the major world-class airports in Asia. Look at the airports at Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong and elsewhere. All of them are most modern, world-class airports built by either the government or government-owned public sector companies. The world over, all the good, great airports are managed by governments fully or partially.

The Lefties want the whole privatization thing scrapped and the Government of India to raise the money required through bonds. They believe the current setup is just fine. And in an effort to prove how professional they are, the party bosses called all their friends who work at airports and asked them to work from home starting today. ( These guys know what they are doing, there was a dress rehearsal last year. ) And the obedient airport workers have stayed at home today, causing lots of stranded travelers all over the country. But air travelers are rich, so why should we care? Plus, I am sure they will realize all this is in public interest.

So, how professional is the current management? Here, read this interview with the Director of the Mumbai Airport. (through India Uncut)

You feel your customers tend to over-react? [about delays]

Oh yes! And they do it out of ignorance.

Surveys on the Internet place Mumbai airport in the worst spot, second only to Papua New Guinea, and the only reason we beat them is they have gangland shootouts inside the airport. There are complaints of unclean toilets, mosquitoes, staffers demanding bribes…

Here’s what happens: Due to the night curfew in Europe and the Far East, bunching of flights happens out here. 70% of the movement happens in a six-hour period. This means hundreds of people use the urinal at the same time. So how can we keep them clean all the time? We can’t ask people to shift while they use the toilet, can we?

Why not build more toilets?

We don’t have the infrastructure for that.

You think the Indian passenger is too demanding?

It’s got to do with the profile of our people. You know, it’s more difficult to maintain the international terminal. We have a very large number of labour that travels to the Middle East. A large number of them have never seen a wet toilet in their lives! There are people who spit inside our airports!

However, I think you are only pointing out the negatives, you are being cynical. If things were so bad, there won’t be a 40 per cent growth in air traffic. Things are not as hopeless as you are trying to make them out to be.

Read the whole thing, it is very exciting.