Here are excerpts from The Daily Show on Dubya’s South Asia trip:

Sub-Continental Divide: The deal: our scientists will help India build nuclear reactors if their children stop crushing us in spelling bees. We’re trying so hard. I mean, for god’s sake, your names already have, like, 20 letters in them. That’s a huge advantage…

Holy shit, what is that? That’s a potato? India is so kicking our ass!

Obligatory geography lesson for American viewers

Insight on India and Pakistan: Resident Expert John Hodgman takes a look at India and Pakistan… which are two different countries.

The two countries are obviously quite close. They historically share a fondness for nuclear weapons and field hockey…

Pakistan is a military dictatorship run by General Musharraf, this small, bemedaled man…

… Prime Minister Singh, a brilliant economist, an intellectual, who dresses like he’s about to take a little nap…

When people think of India, they think Gandhi. Gandhi isn’t going to throw a nuke at us, is he? No. He’s not going to because of the nonviolence…

India itself has the second-largest Muslim population in the world… so both nations have a healthy dose of anti-American rage.

But India is a melting pot that has 23 official languages, 500 different styles of field hockey. And its many religious traditions worship some 23,000 deities encompassing some 8œ million heads and arms, plus at least one baby with an elephant trunk. So you can see the point that with so many gods, the hate is diluted.

The humor here is so tentative, so defanged, so basic-educational, like the Aishwarya interview on Letterman. Comedians on American TV treat living, breathing desis like they just fell off the back of a UFO, and these specific Gandhi and Hinduism jokes went stale a long time ago. But overall, it’s a pretty cute segment.