A ToI editorial today bemoans the instability of the U.S. dollar and suggests creating a unified Asian currency as an alternative to the euro. Several years ago, Asiaweek suggested the same:
… it took Europe 10 years to produce the euro, building on three decades of efforts at economic integration. An Asian currency would probably have to be grounded in the yen, while China, because of the socialist foundations of its economy, might need to stay on the sidelines for some time. And the political, economic and cultural differences among Asian nations are greater than those within Western Europe. [Link]
I think the asio is a wonderful idea. Here’s how we’ll get there:
- India and Pakistan agree to merge economies
- Japan decides it’s willing to merge the yen with the rupee
- China and India drop all vestiges of socialist economic intervention
- Japan, China, India, the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and so on get their economies into the same narrow band of inflation, debt and other key economic indicators
- China, Korea and Japan allow an Asian Economic Zone common passport and migration without work permits
- The asio countries choose a bland, centrally-located capital and characterless symbols for the currency which evoke no sense of history or nationalism
- A new pan-Asian parliament and central bank are created
- The parliament is held hostage to petty provincial issues by a nation deeply convinced of its innate cultural superiority
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After an exhausting, ten-year march to referendums in each member country, one of the anchor states derails the process due to a split between economic progressives and fearful nativists
- There’s a run on the bank to convert old rupees stashed in bedspreads and mattresses into asios before they become worthless
- Australia lobbies hard to be included but is met with suspicion for being insufficiently Asian
- At last, in 2016, people walking up to ATMs in Manila, Jakarta, Tokyo, Shanghai, Bombay, Lahore and Dhaka all withdraw the same asios
- In the first week, bank tellers unfamiliar with the new bills are easily duped by gangs passing counterfeit bills
- Consumers in India scratch their heads trying to figure out the buying power of the deflationary new currency (a thousand rupees becomes just a few asio)
- Uzbekistan asks to join, but nativists complain it doesn’t really share Asian values, they dislike Uzbek immigrants, and the country’s human rights laws aren’t up to par
- Japan, an anchor state, suffers a recession which drags down all other asio economies
If you read past the third bullet point, you either knew this was a satire or are far more hopeful than am I. So let’s start with baby steps and at least standardize the rupee symbol — several different versions exist in various regional languages.
Personally, I’m partial to 
. Maybe I’ll get one iced out and hang it off my man-cleavage. As Jammaster A says, billz, yo.
