May 08, 2006
Brown illegals look like AhnoldMusings
In our earlier discussion about immigration reform, many readers asked “What does this have to do with us?” and “Why should legal South Asian-Americans care about illegal immigrants?” The short answer is an apparent non-sequitur: Ahnold Schwarzenegger.
 |
|
Once an illegal, now a governor, someday a President? |
Ahnold’s immigration history is similar to that of many illegal desis. Like them, he didn’t wade across the Rio Grande. Instead he entered the country legally and then violated the terms of his visa.
Ahnold first came to the US in 1968 on a B-1 Visa with the following rules:
“a non-immigrant in B-1 status may not receive a salary from a U.S. source for services rendered in connection with his or her activities in the United States” [Link]
However, in his own autobiography, Schwarzenegger said that bodybuilding supremo Joe Weider gave him an apartment, a car, and a salary of $200/week during this period.
A year later, Weider was able to sponsor Schwarzenegger for a H-2 visa, which allowed Schwarzenegger to work, but only in the area related to his visa. However,
…he violated the terms of his H-2 work visa by launching this bricklaying business in 1971… immigration attorneys across the country said Schwarzenegger would have been barred by visa restrictions from starting his own business… “That would be considered a violation of your status, and he would have been subject to deportation.” [Link]
None of this caught up with him though. We all know the Schwarzenegger Cinderella story - he made it big in bodybuilding, endorsements, real estate, and movies. He was never deported, and instead became a US citizen in 1983 (he still retains Austrian citizenship on the side). He married a Kennedy, hobnobbed with Reagan and Bush, was elected Republican governor of California, and is now angling to become the President of the United States. All of this was possible precisely because his previous immigration irregularities were overlooked. However, if the Sensenbrenner bill (1, 2) becomes law, others will be denied this chance and become felons.
My concern is with the student who takes an off campus job for a bit of extra money, or who fails to take enough classes and whose status slips. I wonder about the tech worker in Silicon Valley who takes a bit too long to switch between jobs, and whose status lapses. I worry about legal and employed people who fail to inform the INS of their new address within 10 days of a move, and who fall out of status [Link]. All these people would become felons under the Sensenbrenner bill, and if any of them are your roommates, you’d be committing a crime by cosigning a lease with them. The bill’s provisions are broad and
… could endanger advocates, social workers, lawyers, medical professionals, and others because the bill expands the scope of the federal criminal offenses of of smuggling, transporting, and/or harboring undocumented immigrants. [Link]
Finally, if somebody doesn’t like the way an illegal immigrant looks, they have few rights:
The bill would enhance the Department of Homeland Security’s powers to detain individuals considered dangerous indefinitely, with review every six months [Link]
At this point we’ve gone from talking about Ahnold to describing something out of one of his movies, except that he’s not here to save the day.
Here’s my bottom line: I’m too American to abandon the rule of law. That’s why I care about illegals.
The analysis of Schwarzenegger’s immigration status comes from: No amnesty for Arnold, he’s an “illegal alien” (I’m Kaavya-proofing myself)
Related posts: Immigration smokescreen, A Day Without a South Asian American: Boycott May 1st
ennis on May 8, 2006 12:09 AM in Musings · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
Well researched post- but I find the ahnold face staring at me each time I refresh SM a little, uh... scary? :-)
One Word - He is White and can getaway with lot of it. It's kinda harsh but this is a reality in the US.
Two points:
On a B-1, you can't pay a sponsored person but you can cover expenses (lodging, travel and expenses - actual or perdiem). So, I am not sure if the $ 200/wk constitutes a salary or not.
Regarding the illegal immigration situation - you can oppose the Sensenbrenner bill and also oppose Amnesty. You make it as if is a either you are for the bill or for amnesty.
Great post. You can also add to the category of "illegal immigrants" anyone who's not a citizen and didn't report a change of address to the Attorney Genderal within ten days of moving at some point in the past 50 years. Sound like anyone you know? :)
But the question remains once you acknowledge that the House bill is terrible, what your concrete strategy is:
1) Try to amend existing Senate legislation with pressure both inside and outside the beltway or
2) Start adopting the tack that none of this stuff is amendable to anything reasonably "pro-immigrant."
I lean towards #2. See the NNIRR statement here, which I've presented before:
We stand together as immigrant, faith, social justice, labor, peace, human and civil rights organizations and other concerned communities to support human and civil rights for all immigrants and to oppose the immigration reform proposals presently in the U.S. Senate. We oppose H.R. 4437, the immigration bill passed in the House of Representatives in December, as well as all of the compromise bills presented in the Senate.
And then the other question becomes what you do with the 43(?) states that are trying to pass their own legislation to make life hell for immigrants.
ennis, thanks for breaking it down. strong work.
there are lots of unpalatable choices.
I'm jealous--
Some illegal immigrants have it so much easier.
Boom boom dishoom dishoom! Well put, that.
taz (#1):
Yeah, how about a picture of the back of his head?
Back when Ahnuld made those billz, that was a lot more money than it is today.
On a B-1, you can't pay a sponsored person but you can cover expenses (lodging, travel and expenses - actual or perdiem). So, I am not sure if the $ 200/wk constitutes a salary or not.
Unless the lodging, travelling, compensation were mere gifts, any payments made to Arnold for his 'work', in his case exhibition, promotion etc. of body building would constitute getting paid for 'work', which would violate his B-1 status.
well, i'm not a lawyer or a law student. But i know other SMers are. wanted to note here that violation of visa status does not automatically mean "illegal" according to INS. You are only "out of status". Such a violator gets into illegal mode depending on duration of violation and severity of it - basically, not every person who violates a visa is illegal, technically speaking.
You raise some useful points - these are dealt with in the article that I'm citing but I left them out for reasons of conciseness:
The above is clearly a quid-pro-quo exchange of money for services and neither a gift nor merely expenses for food and lodging ($10,000 a year is what an entry level professional made in 1968).
Both these quotes are in the original article, however they are in turn taken from other sources, and it is these sources I cite above.
I feel it is my duty to mention the true immigrant menace among us: Yakov Smirnov
B1-visa rules were extremely vague (on purpose, thanks to the Imm.Lawyer lobby). Most software engineers in the early-mid 90's came on a B1-visa, received a "maintenance fee" (on which they paid no taxes or Social Security) for working. Typically, this went on for upto a year of coming to the US, after which they were told that the charade could not continue for long and they had to switch to H1-visa.
But, it was legal. INS wisened up to this in the late 90's and clamped down on B1's altogether. However, desis, resourceful as ever, started doing this under the L1 visa which continues till today. And yes, that's legal too. Until of course, INS wisens up again.
M. Nam
...angling to become the President of the United States.
Well, Arnold cannot become the President of the United States. The constitution clearly states the criterion for a US President. They are as follows:
Source: http://home.comcast.net/~sharonday7/Presidents/AP0601.htm
Unless there is a constitutional amendment to let Arnold become the President he won't be calling the White House his permanent residence anytime soon.
Click on the phrase "angling to become President" and it will take you to this news story:
Arnold could never be President because I've seen his ass. In Terminator his naked ass is visible. When he lands back on Earth in 1984 or whenever. How can you have a President of the USA who has shown his ass to millions? How could he negotiate with Iran or Japan when their leaders have seen his ass and so have an advantage over them, whose asses he has not seen?
Is it the visibility of the ass or the quality of it that counts? Maybe he can intimidate the North Koreans into giving up their nukes, with just the globularity of his gluteus. Hmmm ... maybe DD should become President ...
The main problem with this post is that pointed out by #3 above. And, almost all of the high profile groups and people against HR4437 are in favor of either a massive amnesty or something approaching open borders.
And, some of those organizing or involved in the recent rallies don't have this country's best interests at heart. They include individuals with links to the Mexican government, Communist/Socialist/far-left groups, irredentist groups, paramilitary racial organizations, and just plain ol' ethnic hustlers.
Ennis
How can Ahmedenijad take him seriously when he has seen the USA Presidents ass in all its glory? Speaking as a man with repressed gay tendencies I can also say that I don't want a president whose butt I have seen and personally fantasised about pinching when I watched Terminator for the third time a couple of years ago on a late Sunday evening after I broke up with my girl. I was at a low point in my life and very confused, had some personal shit going on. But that's beside the point. It's the president and we cant have seen the President's ass. It's alright to hear about his sticking a cigar up the whoopsy of an intern, but we cannot have actually seen his naked ass in real life.
Getting back to serious things. When Arnie goes to the UN to announce war on Iran, and everyone laughs at him and says 'We've seen your ass, Mr President. You cannot declare war on us, we have seen your tight muscular buttocks, your big round naked ass, you can't declare war on a country who'se leader's ass we have not seen'
As I say, I don't want the President of Japan walking into a trade negotiation with the leader of the free world with such a psychological advantage. Either all leaders show their ass after Arnie becomes President (they can do this at a press conference photo op at the G7 meeting - Blair, Putin, Chirac, even Merkel the female Chancellor has to show hers) - or Arnie weakens our strategic position.
In fact if Arnie becomes President we should declare war and bomb any country whose leader refuses to show their ass - just so everything is equal again.
Great post Ennis !! I like that ironic sounding "bottom-line" that you highlighted.
As I have learned (from debates on this blog) that all illegals may not be seeking citizenship and asking for "amnesty" is a political loser for both parties in the short term, I hope that some thing on the lines of "Guest worker" gets passed.
In all seriousness, as someone who follows CA politics closely, Arnold is no longer angling to become POTUS. His approval ratings amongst both Republicans and Californians in general are fairly low -- he suffered a serious beating from the special election last fall and his chances of even being re-elected as governor are diminishing.
post #20:
in the words of k.banya (from seinfeld): "That's Gold, Jerry. Gold!"
I feel it is my duty to mention the true immigrant menace among us: Yakov Smirnov
In Soviet Russia, immigration gets you!
Oh wait...that's here too :)
*sigh* ...if we knew then what we know now in order to get that highly coveted pass to the Promise Land, perhaps our JAVA/C++/Unix resumes might have been worded a bit differently ...
SHIVA KRISHNAMURTHY
6663 Viswamitra, Naval Park 91-666-000000 (India)
Village 530014, India
OBJECTIVE:
A challenging Weightlifting apprentice position that would utilize my strength
and analytical skills and provide me with an opportunity to further my
knowledge of powerlifting
PLATFORMS:
Golds, NYSC, Bally's Total Fitness, Lucille Roberts
LANGUAGES:
Jumping Jack, Sit-ups, Squat Thrusts, Wind Sprints, Preacher Curls
EDUCATION:
BS in Physiology and Physical Educationn University of Madras, Chennai, India.
First Class Graduated in '83
EXPERIENCE:
* Strength Consultant
National Institute of Information Technology, Vishakapatnam (8 Months)
Bench Press - 120 kg (264 pounds) for three reps - 1997-05-??
Barbell Curl - 60 kg (132 pounds) for eight reps - 1998-08-??
* Lecturer
Dr. M.G.R Engineering College, Chennai, India (10 Months)
Courses:
* Introduction to Exercise : 1 semester
Triceps Dumbbell Extension - 62 kg (136 pounds) for four reps - 1998-06-??
Incline Dumbbell Press - 50 kg (110 pounds) for six reps - 1997-11-30
Dumbbell Shoulder Press - 35 kg (77 lbs) for eight reps - 1997-05-23
Squat - 160 kg (352 pounds) for four assisted "butt to a bench" reps
Deadlift - 200 kg (440 pounds) for three reps - 1997-07-01
That never stops a real politician - you know that :)
with Sir-Mix-A-Lot as my VP? Unlike Aah-nuld, I was born in the US, so I can run, baby. My platform will be liberty, chocolate, and booty-poppin for all. Chickpea will be my Surgeon General. And Siddartha is my Secretary of State. Instead of "help is on the way" I will say "dishoom is on the way"...
They include individuals with links to the Mexican government, Communist/Socialist/far-left groups, irredentist groups, paramilitary racial organizations, and just plain ol' ethnic hustlers.
Oh no, Communists, Socialists, far left groups!! The Evil Empire has not been eliminated with the fall of the USSR. Lefties are still attempting to undermine/overthrow the Leader of the Free World, the US.
And, some of those organizing or involved in the recent rallies don't have this country's best interests at heart.
I wish we could say the same about (ex)illegal immigrants who are right wingers, like Arnold, and some Cubans, who don't have "this country's best interests at heart".
Desi Dancer: Can I, Cheap Ass Desi, be your Secretary of Treasury?
Ennis, you only need two words to confirm your point: "George Pataki." (And all of you thought Kaavya was a good opportunity for schadenfreude? Heh heh. Just you wait for the New Hampshire primary....)
DesiDancer, I nominate Cicatrix to be your Minister of Culture.
Who'd have thought that Predator had two future high profile politicians in its cast. First Jesse "I ain't got time to bleed"Ventura, then Ahnuld... Carl Weathers might want to try his hand at running for governor.
DD:
hell yes! that's a program i'd be happy to, uh, spread around the world!
My platform will be liberty, chocolate, and booty-poppin for all. Chickpea will be my Surgeon General. And Siddartha is my Secretary of State.
Sid, DD: Calm down, you two. I'm down for "liberty and chocolate", but "booty poppin"? I don't think so.
He's busy working with the US military. He trains mock Iraqi insurgents for simulated counterinsurgency exercises:
The insurgents even get acting lessons, coached by Carl Weathers, best known for his portrayal of the boxer Apollo Creed in the "Rocky" films
Apollo Creed: See that look in their eyes, Rock? You gotta get that look back, Rock. Eye of the tiger, man.
Eye of the tiger, marines.
smallprint: Quote from Rocky III
Oh no, Communists, Socialists, far left groups!! The Evil Empire has not been eliminated with the fall of the USSR. Lefties are still attempting to undermine/overthrow the Leader of the Free World, the US.
if nazis marched, we would notice, even though nazism is 50 years gone. scape-goating lefty groups as communists, that's not cool, but let's not diminish that communism was a barbaric system in much of the world.
I know some very nice communists who care a lot about human rights. Have you ever met a nice Neo-Nazi? I'm not excusing the mass murders and other brutalities that happened under many communist regimes, I'm just saying that the association isn't as strong in the US or Europe. A lot less variance in terms of what neo-Nazis stand for.
cheap-ass desi- if you're not down with booty, definitely this is not the party (political party) for you ;)
Cicatrix will be my Chief Minister of Style
I know some very nice communists who care a lot about human rights. Have you ever met a nice Neo-Nazi? I'm not excusing the mass murders and other brutalities that happened under many communist regimes, I'm just saying that the association isn't as strong in the US or Europe. A lot less variance in terms of what neo-Nazis stand for.
You can compare anybody against neo-Nazis and come smelling roses. If you take the history of Communism and the places they have been governing, it ain't looking so good.
That was 1982, this is now:
Razib:
let's not diminish that communism was a barbaric system in much of the world.
Yes, and let's not forget that capitalism can be a barbaric system in much of the world as well.
Desi Dancer:
cheap-ass desi- if you're not down with booty, definitely this is not the party (political party) for you ;)
Yeah, I'm not down for "booty", especially since I'm a female, so I guess I'll go be Sec. of Treasury somewhere else!!!! Your regime reeks of testosterone. This is not the environment for Cheap Ass Desi. But I wish your crew the best of luck in running the show.
CAD,
Er.....DesiDancer is a woman ;)
Er.....DesiDancer is a woman ;)
Umm... ok.
Maybe that's why "chocolate" was included in the new political platform. I was wondering why a guy would include chocolate. Chocolate is a female thing (generally). Images of Desi men eating chocolate and "booty poppin" arose in my mind. Or men plying women with chocolate so as to seduce them into having their "booty popped".
I don't know where I am going with this....
CAD,
Do a 'search' here on SM for the term "Sepia Mutiny Caboose Calibre-Estimation Model 2006", and everything will suddenly become very clear to you ;)
I'd like to nominate some more candidates for the DD-Chickpea-Siddartha junta:
Kush Tandon -- Ministry of Pimpness.
Anna -- Ministry of Humanitarianism.
MoorNam -- Ministry for Vice and Virtue.
Punjabi Boy -- Ministry of Heroes Missing-in-Action.
Razib -- Ministry of Encyclopaedic Knowledge, Obscure Terminology, Secularism, and Hot Blonde Scandinavian-looking Women.
Dhaavak, DesiDudeInAustin, BongBreaker, and myself -- Ministry of Snark. We'll be like those grumpy old men sitting in the balcony in The Muppets, constantly cracking jokes.
All hail the Project for the New Desi Century ;)
... that capitalism can be a barbaric system in much of the world ...
CAD, can you elaborate ?
CAD, ooooh-- I'm using booty popping in the sense of "Rize", as in pop and lock motion. Not as in... um, ew. Yeah, I could see why you wouldn't sign up for *that* campaign. :)
Jai, I accept your submissions... except for the slight problem where you, Bongsy and Dhavaak would need to be US citizens. However, as a benevolent dictator, I would let you cut in line after our party wins the election. So no matter.
Desi Dancer--
Oh, well then, let me be Secretary of Treasury. As my name indicates, I'm cheap as hell and I will put the defecit down in this country. Restricted national spending (psst...except for us, though... but don't say anything).
well trained in the budgeting skills of a kanjusi desi father? You're in!
DesiDancer,
Seeing as this is a desi political party, surely that "minor" problem could be circumvented with a suitable
bribedonation to theDD Alliance for World ConquestDD Humanitarian Party for Global Peace & Benevolence ?Neo-Cons, make room. Here come the Neo-Browns/Neo-Desis.
Jai, that is the scariest thing I've read all day ;)
AK and Desidancer, many thanks for your nominations. I will endeavor to do my very best as minister of style, DD. For our first order of business, what say we banish leggings forever, SiennafuglyMiller be damnded? Then take up the issue of black tights with white shoes? How do you feel about ruching?
Furthermore, in the spirit of
repaymentcomradeship, I nominate AK to Attorney General. I hear he knows a lot about thegangjalaw.damn. have missed this discussion.. no clue that i'm now a party member... thanks DD for nominating/appointment
i'm now a surgeon general candidate :).
i feel honored.
whohooooo... put me on.
this party will be a rocking ;)...
hummus will flow in the masses.... it's healthy dammit...no vegetarian snafoo there... no silver stuff in my garlic hummus.. no sirreee....but garlic and onions will flow for the masses!
Get your facts straight CAD. :)
I'm sure if you name Abhi to be Director of Citizenship and Immigration Services that problem might quickly evaporate.
Cicatrix, your first order of business is impressive. I support your motion, especially if it includes all spandex products. (spandex is a privilege, not a right, and it's been abused, people). Next order of business for you should be public displays of Scunci, and/or implementing popular use of Male Purses.
Chocolate, as Abhi says, is for all people. Coincidentally the Neo-Brown platform is tailored to appeal to all people. Who doesn't like liberty, chocolate, and booty shakin? I think we might even get the Libertarians to surrender, just on the matter of booty..
Abhi:
Maybe that's why "chocolate" was included in the new political platform. I was wondering why a guy would include chocolate. Chocolate is a female thing (generally).
Get your facts straight CAD. :)
Yes, ok, point well taken. Charming Chocolate Ganeshes. But tell me the truth, how many guys crave chocolate the way girls do? And how many men feel like they've just had sex after finishing a Hershey's chocolate bar?
While all of you are tweetering away with talk about "hummus flowing", outlawing leggings and spandex,and an attorney general who seems to be an expert on
weedthe penal code, I personally can't wait to getcloser to the $$$$rid of our alarming defecit.Cicatrix: how about getting rid of those "pouches"? You know, the big pocket that holds your wallet and sits under your gut? Oh, and how about you move into personal grooming? First on the list: a prohibition against men removing their body/facial hair. Now, I know this might be a pisser for Desi guys, but men shouldn't pluck their eyebrows.
Beards for everybody!
wow! do women really feel that way? must be awesome havin such an easily available sex substitute at hand...
What exactly are you doing with the Hershey Bar?
CAD Those 'pouches' actually have a name - fanny packs. And any wearer should be condemned to 24/7 marathons of 'The View.' No sleep allowed. Star Jones alone just might be punishement enough.
I didn't want to go for the easy targets, so I didn't touch on shoulder-pads, frosted bangs, or bedazzled anything.
But yes, DD, scunci products (there's a whole line) have got to go..except for maybe the more innocuous items, like bobby pins. (who doesn't love bobby pins? A little grandma, but so handy!)
As for men...I've spent years arguing for the return of mustaches. Not for everyone, I know. And despite Patty Kaur's best efforts (which I heartily endorse, scruffy is good!) not all women like full beards on men.
Body hair however...Men will be banned from anyplace that waxes, threads, sugars, or tweezes. What the fuck is with all these waxed chests?!?! Eww.. Do you really want to look like you're in S-Club-7?!!
A little nose/back hair grooming is all right. But that's it!!
Seriously, not to mention the fact that a Hershey Bar is like totally slumming it. Have some class an treat yourself right. The chocolate content should be over 70% otherwise it shouldn't pass you lips. 72/73% and it actually becomes good for you.
Cicatrix,
Star Jones was kicked of The View this morning according to reports.
Clueless and BB:
Look, I'm not talking from personal experience. I have read in tons of magazines that cocoa contains a chemical that resembles one of our sex hormones. Women tend to crave chocolate right before cycle.
Patti:
Beards for everybody!
Better than plucked eyebrows and men with hairless legs!
Anyway, don't really mind the scruffy look. Actually, the junglee look can even be attractive in a natural, untamed way.
You might have to carve out an exemption for religious Muslims men :
The Taliban used to stop men on the streets for spot armpit checks. And incidentally, hair removal in-flight seems to be one of the things that airline security looks for as a warning sign of an impending suicide attack. [It was mentioned in passing in an article - a brown man went to the bathroom to go shave and the flight attendant got freaked out]
Abhi:
Seriously, not to mention the fact that a Hershey Bar is like totally slumming it. Have some class an treat yourself right. The chocolate content should be over 70% otherwise it shouldn't pass you lips. 72/73% and it actually becomes good for you.
I'm a Cheap Ass Desi, what do you expect?!
I am slumming it. I even cut out 25 cent coupons for a Hersey bar, so I only have to pay 75c. My motto? Never spend more than a buck!!! This is why I nominated myself for Sec. of Treasury... cha-ching!!!!!!!!!
Oohh... I can't wait until I become Sec of Treasury. As soon as I do, I am going to
fly to Switzerland to buy Swiss chocolate. Come to think of it, I'll make a vacation out of it and stay in a ritzy resort for a couple of months. You guys can make do without me for a couple of months, can't you?balance the budget.Cicatrix, you are the man for the job. Yes, get rid of body hair removal options for men. Place the SWAT team to guard the entrances of beauty salons. A virile Tom Seleck look is better than a wimpy, hairless, silky pretty boy look who seems as if he hasn't hit puberty yet.
I've been thinking, we need a Ministry of Household Chores. Desi men seem to set their foot in the kitchen only if they are coming around for a second helping of daal or another roti. Desi men only enter the bathroom if they are going to do a "number 1" and/or "number 2", and rarely, to take a shower. Then they leave the bathroom in an incredible mess. They expect women to be their nokar. This has got to stop.
I didn't want to go for the easy targets, so I didn't touch on shoulder-pads, frosted bangs, or bedazzled anything.
Cicatrix-- You have to get rid of shoulder-pads. I have been waging a personal jihad against shoulder pads. It is so inconvenient to buy an top/jacket and then come home to remove them delicately so as not to destroy the fabric which is time consuming.
Also, please ban tight briefs for men. And no granny-painties for women. No sideways pony-tail hair style for women.
Nose hair clipping, along with ear-hair clipping, may be exempted from the male body hair removal commandment.
Ennis, I didn't know that, I don't know what I feel more bad about - not knowing that, or those poor men!
"Pulling the arm pit hair"? I tried waxing my pits just once...never again, sweet lord, never again.
but, ok, fine. Exemptions for any and all religious reasons will be allowed.
Abhi, I did hear that she was getting kicked out, but since we're firmly in an alternate universe here, I decided to include her. (although even in the regular universe watching The View would still be pretty bad. Rosie O'Donell is replacing her. and let's face it, the show sucks. I'd rather experience menopause for myself than have to watch it everyday, thanks.)
I don't know what part of it I find funnier - big burly Pathans plucking their pits, ot the Taliban stopping them on the street and lifting their arms to check. I know it's not very PC, but ... I never thought conservative Islamic men and male porn stars would have so much in common. I'm picturing them in LA, trading ball-shaving tricks while waiting in line for the register ...
Cica, you'll need an Abhi exemption from the Speedo ban ... ;)
Cica, you'll need an Abhi exemption from the Speedo ban ... ;)
ABHI: You wear Speedos.....?????????????????????????????????????
Seriously. What the FUCK is going on here.
Seriously. What the FUCK is going on here.
Bong Breaker:
Ok, ok, I realize you are getting frustrated with the (s)elected party, and it's not even in the office yet! Don't get disaffected already. Political apathy can be a result of realizing that nothing has been accomplished. We don't want you, the future voters, to feel this way, especially when there will (potentially) be free democratic elections in the years to come. So here two proposals for agendas that I think we need to prioritize for the upcoming Desi Nation:
National Anthem: The "Star Spangled Banner" is boring, and frankly, the words don't mean anything to me. A national anthem should be one that the citizen identifies with; one that makes the citizen's heart swell with pride and patriotism for one's country. The SSB doesn't do this, and it's time we chucked it.
My proposal: The Patel Rap.
Flag:The US flag, in our future administration, will just be a gruesome token reminder of the Dark Ages that this country has had to live in. Plus, it's such a target of global hatred. We need to invent a new flag.
My Proposal: "Borrow" from the Indian flag: instead of one spinning wheel, we will have 50. Instead of Red, White, and Blue, we will have.... I'm at a loss for ideas here. Your ideas are as good as mine.
We are going to have to enact major reforms in this country. Think deep and hard.
PS. Is there a legal loophole in the current immigration legislation to somehow indict Arnold for being a former ex-illegal immigrant? Also Ronald Regean for "aiding" illegal immigrants, as he had done with Arnold?
LOL- this thread just kinda, turned, din it? I love how cic dropped an S-Club-7 reference and everyone just kinda glossed over it. I just double checked gawker for the Star Jones news- it's true. I think that if there was a desi woman on the view it'd make it more appealing, wouldn't it?
Ah yes, this new Desi led nation is truly the mutiny taking over the world... ;-)
Hey, Cheap Ass Desi, re your bathroom remarks: A friend of mine (in India) insists that the ultimate mark of how progressive Scandinavians are is the fact that moms there are apparently teaching their sons to pee sitting...keeps the bathrooms much cleaner (and therefore moms work much less), doesn't lead to arguments about potty lids being left up or down...generally spreads happiness and harmony all around :).
And hey, guess what, I've actually met men here (in the US) who do just that...I had to make discreet enquiries when I consistently found their bathrooms beautifully clean :)...
Ms Fink Nottle:
Thank you for alerting me to this bit of news. When I get married, I will re-train my husband. When I become a mother, I am going to teach my beta to sit on the loo when he needs to twinkle.
Speaking of bathrooms, what we need to do is install bidets in every bathroom.
how many guys crave chocolate the way girls do? And how many men feel like they've just had sex after finishing a Hershey's chocolate bar
Well, at least one. But not Hershey's--I agree that the chocolate content is not high enough. But syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate--mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Not unless I killed and skinned a Cheetah and made it myself.
I suspect more men than we know/are willing to admit follow this :)... unfortunately there is social pressure that equates standing with some 'masculine' nonsense. IMO standing up is essential only in public toilets, when heck, I often wish I could do the same!
I even seem to remember some kind of society of mothers to train sons that way on the internet :)
My wonderful husband says that it just always seemed the natural thing for him to do (sit, that is) and yep, I will definitely train any male aulad to do the same...
Bong Breaker, its only getting worse and worse... :)
Or the fact that is it far more easier to unzip, flip it out, and piss instead of unbuckling, taking off pants and chuddis, sitting down, then putting it all back on again.
If it was this easy for women to piss they'd do it, too.
If you really want to make sure your bathroom doesn't get dirty, everytime you see a piss stain, make your beta clean it. He'll learn how to aim well very soon. Eventually, he'll make his own cost-benefit analysis and make a choice on what is more important. Easy access and piss, or sit down to avoid cleaning up once in awhile when he misses.
GujuDude:
Or the fact that is it far more easier to unzip, flip it out, and piss instead of unbuckling, taking off pants and chuddis, sitting down, then putting it all back on again.
The word "chuddi" made me laugh out loud.
And it is too true, what you say: If it was this easy for women to piss they'd do it, too. How many times have I been so drunk but no where near a toilet, yet I can't relieve myself in a dark alley or against a wall, standing up the way a man can? In these instances, I really resent men- they have it so much easier sometimes!!
Your post clearly illustrates your sensitive, yet deadly accurate, sociological observations. Boj saras.
Someone else: Well, I am delighted for you. Really. Especially if you are a munde/chokro, all the more convenient for you to derive so much...um....satisfaction simply from "syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate--mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
Abhi:
Not unless I killed and skinned a Cheetah and made it myself.
Well, good thing you do not normally wear tight briefs/speedos. At least you won't have to make any traumatizing sacrifices when tight briefs/Speedos become illegal in Desi Nation!!
Everybody:
I realize I was the one who spoke first about Hershey chocolate bars, but please, stop ripping at Hershey's!
True, it is the cheapskate's preference of chocolate, as Abhi has eloquently pointed out (see # 61). But I am who I am, and I am one Cheap Ass Desi.
Speaking of chocolate, and reeling this thread back to the blog, which concerns the former illegal alien Arnold, didn't he come from a country renowned for kick ass chocolate? Instead of passing state legislation to make everyone miserable in California, he should subsidize imported Austrian chocolate for Californians.
A somber observation:
Remember how about a week ago, there was a blog entitled "A Day Without A South Asian American"? That forum was exploding with righteous wrath, condescension, haughty poo pooing, and collective pimp/bitch slapping levelled at "illegal immigrants" for being "illegal", sucking the country's resources, breaking the law, and illegitimately using our tax dollars. There were 259 comments, and it only stopped there because comments had been closed (largely because the thread culminated into virtual mud slinging).
Compare it to this blog. Another piece on an illegal alien. But it only elicited 81, mostly discussing irrelevent topics-burly Pathans with shaved armpits, the Taliban comparing ball shaving tips, men waxing, men peeing sitting down,chocolate and sex, and an imaginary administration. Look how easily we-- including me-- got distracted. This did not happen in the other forum.
One could very well argue, "Well, Cheap Ass Desi, you're the one who started with the chocolate and sex, proposals to bar men from removing their body hair, and asking Abhi if he wears Speedos!! And look at how many 'irrelevent' comments you posted! So don't point the virtual finger at all of us!" Too true. But I counter that by saying that I don't have a problem with "illegal" immigrants. I have been consistent. To verify, click over to the "A Day Without" and see all posts under "Cheap Ass Desi" in all of my avatars and you will see that I even favor open borders. I welcome all immigrants-- even those who are huge, muscular, robotic looking, blue eyed, blond White guys with indiscernable accents who could be very scary if I ever came across such a man in a dark alley.
I'm wondering where are all those South Asians who are bothered by "illegal immigrants". Why aren't they here fulminating with indignation in this forum? Here's an illegal alien who violated the law and got away with it. Why aren't they demanding to remove his ex-illegal ass out of the gubernatorial seat in California? Why aren't they lashing out, "I can't believe he broke the law and got away with it! A cheat, just like all those other illegal aliens! That's not fair; after all, my parents waited in line!!! Deport his ass back to Austria!"
Food for thought.
You must have not been a female college Rubgy player in the midwest. Apparently, they didn't get the memo that it wasn't kosher to let it rip in public, half standing/squatting. But that's a good thing. They were a scary lot :)
As some women have informed me, the 'hover' over the commode of bars and clubs supposedly is the way to go.
Gujudude:
As some women have informed me, the 'hover' over the commode of bars and clubs supposedly is the way to go.
Those women have informed you well, beta. Golden rule of the thumb: you always hover over public commodes. Only at home should a female feel safe enough to park her booty on the toilet seat.
What I meant in the above comment (#79) was when I'm on my way home, like walking for instance. And if you've got a 30 minute walk to go, it is excruciating. Every time I see a male companion have the luxury to relieve himself when he wants, I always feel a twinge of envious resentment.
Every time I see a male companion have the luxury to relieve himself when he wants, I always feel a twinge of envious resentment.
Ms. CAD,
I guess you have never been to Mawdi Gra. In N'Awlins, every corner is fair game for all the sexes even year round.
Kush:
I guess you have never been to Mawdi Gra. In N'Awlins, every corner is fair game for all the sexes even year round.
That is absolutely "Chhi".
Someone else: Well, I am delighted for you. Really. Especially if you are a munde/chokro, all the more convenient for you to derive so much...um....satisfaction simply from "syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate--mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
Stop using Gujarati/Hindi/Malayalam/...! Bangla is the only acceptable language to insert into English.
But does that mean queer? I like new terminology I can fling at straight people. LGBTQM/C
Honestly, sit down! You can't catch anything from a g'ddamn toilet seat! (unless we're talking someplace that hasn't been scrubbed in a while (or in the case of bar Siberia, years.)
I'm sick of going out to a nice restaurant, forking over half my paycheck for dinner, and then finding out that the luxury fixtures in the bathrooms are not sit-downable. Might as well have Indian style squat toilets then, yeah?
Led by Abhi in his new furry speedos?
;)
Someone else:
Stop using Gujarati/Hindi/Malayalam/...! Bangla is the only acceptable language to insert into English.
But does that mean queer? I like new terminology I can fling at straight people. LGBTQM/C
Munde is Punjabi and chokro is Gujarati for "boy".
Somehow I knew you were Bengali. Don't ask how, I just knew. Intuition.
Cicatrix:
Criminiy...I think that will have to be banned as well. The only reason why that's become necessary is because the damn seats are splattered by women too drunk/outofshape to squat straight!
Honestly, sit down! You can't catch anything from a g'ddamn toilet seat! (unless we're talking someplace that hasn't been scrubbed in a while (or in the case of bar Siberia, years.)
I'm sick of going out to a nice restaurant, forking over half my paycheck for dinner, and then finding out that the luxury fixtures in the bathrooms are not sit-downable. Might as well have Indian style squat toilets then, yeah?i>
Relax, yaar. Don't point your finger at me; I am a master at peeing while hovering. I've had LOADS of years of experience. Even when I am drunk. I never splatter and I never miss.
Like I said, ANYTIME you are in a public restaurant-- luxurious or not-- NEVER sit on the toilet. If you're a female, you need to learn how to hover. If you're a male, what are you complaining about? You don't need to sit on the toilet when you go to the bathroom....ahhh, I see why you may need to sit down after having eaten and paid for a meal....
Sqaut toilets, contrary to the American public's revulsion towards it, would actually be better. I have been to lots of public places in Italy and elsewhere that have squat toilets. Also, it is an established scientific fact that squatting is more natural than sitting.
Hey, instead of forking over half of your paycheck for dinner at some schmancy fancy restaurant with disgusting bathrooms, why not send a little cash $$ over my way? I want to buy and install a bidet in my bathroon.
Apologies for steering this tasteful conversation away from
speedos"banana-hammocks" and, er, the dynamics of doing a Number 1.....I think that, in the new Benevolent Dictatorship of Desistan which we have all been discussing, it should be mandatory for all hot women to wear the tightest possible low-rise jeans, all the damn time. Failure to comply will result in instant remedial "disciplining", ie. an extended spanking session until the naughty girl learns her lesson.
And don't have your boys circumcised. Makes it hard to aim, not to mention le weak petit mort.
MoorNam -- Ministry for Vice and Virtue.
MoorNam is a social libertarian so the ministry wont have any work to do.
I've been wondering where JOAT is, myself. Maybe she's busy at work since I haven't seen her commenting on other threads. Or maybe she doesn't want to apply her standard to big burly Republicans. Probably the former, but we wont know until she weighs in.
You're right though, CAD, none of the hard line against illegal immigration people showed up to clamor for his blood.
Al_M_f_D,
Re: Our friend MoorNam
I was being ironic, but in a humorous and non-malicious way ;)
However, we could have the "Anti-Taliban", who stalk the streets of Desistan and arrest hot women for wearing too many clothes. It could be the polar opposite of the situation in Iran -- there would be women who'd suddenly get whisked away by "Vice-enforcement Squads", and then deposited back on the streets a little while later all blinged up, with matching glamorous makeovers and tightum-tight clothes. Strappy 4-inch heels mandatory, of course.
There would be only one capital offense in Desistan. Saas-Bahu serials would be outlawed completely, upon pain of death. Of course that would just drive the whole genre underground, which would result in people gathering in sleazy backrooms and basements in order to get their "fix". There would be dubious illegal websites with desperate addicts feverishly discussing the latest plotlines and designer silk saris. Oh, the horror, the horror.
However, this truly disturbing development in human evolution could be remedied by ensuring that the major desi-focused channels show absolutely nothing except non-stop "item-number" music videos 24/7. I think that would be the only realistic way to stop the madness.
Sorry I've been busy and not around much. Juggling too many things at the moment.
To state the obvious. He is no longer illegal. He is a US citizen now. The time to do something would have been when he indulged in these crimes and to catch him then. The stipulations to why a naturalized citizenship can be taken away from someone does not apply to this. What is the point now? If he was a criminal that caused harm to society I'd probably find it a battle worth fighting. I don't find it worth battling at this point. It's a disgusting shame yes but what now?
I don't live in California. If he's offended the people of California (a vast majority of them Mexicans) by these revelations (BTW all the perks he received from Weider I don't consider as a salary but living expenses) the people should act accordingly and not bring him back.
I still stand behind what I stated before. I would like to see people gain access to this country legally. I would like to see those immigrants who have lived here for 20/30 years and contributed to this economy recognized and made to pay taxes. However I have a problem with a blanket acceptance of all illegal Mexican immigrants currently in the company. If that is the case lets lend the same perk to ALL other illegal immigrants in this country. Why just Mexicans?
I would like to see immigration regulations being applied to ALL immigrants equally and I'd like the borders guarded better. I don't like the current porous immigration situation with the US/Mexican border. There are anywhere between 6 and 12 million illegal Mexicans in the United states. At what point is enough?
Maybe an immigration lawyer can answer this - can you lose your citizenship or green card if your status was irregular before? I know that the US government has revoked grants of asylum more than a decade later after accusing the asylee of lying on his original application. Technically, couldn't something like this happen to Ahnold?
JOAT - the deportable offense was starting his business while on the H-2 visa, a business that he admitted involved fraud (they'd knock down structures so that they could rebuild them). It's an immigration violation just like overstaying your tourist visa.
Thanks for your clarification on the other points. And hopefully JOAT-fan will be appeased by your appearance.
This is my understanding of it from a lawyer friend....I'm sorry if other lawyers have already answered this on the thread. It's easier to revoke a asylum, H1 or any of the conditional visas, a little bit harder but still stipulations for a GC, significantly harder to revoke a citizenship. Short of an act of treason or other such similar instances it's not that easy to revoke a citizenship.
Absolutely and I hope those that feel it is worth it would go after it. My strong belief is that after all this time, in his position of power and changing laws the interpretation could tie up something like this in the courts for a long time hence the lack of interest in it.
Jai,
That totally explains the Sepia Mutiny tattoo on my back...I was wondering how it got there....
I second that!!!!! In a big city every woman owes it to herself to learn this method. It strengthens your calfs and thighs at the same time.
Ennis and JOAT --
Very, very crudely, in a nutshell:
Denationalization and loss of citizenship are indeed very difficult, and the treason standard JOAT hints at applies to all citizens, whether native-born and naturalized. But naturalization can be revoked if it was improperly obtained in the first place. A naturalized (as opposed to native-born) citizen may be denaturalized if their citizenship was "illegally procured or . . . procured by concealment of a material fact or by willful misrepresentation." And an application for naturalization may only be granted in the first place if the individual (1) is lawfully admitted as a permanent resident, and (2) has been a person of "good moral character," among other requirements.
The facts here would matter a great deal, and I haven't had time to wade through the facts of his particular situation or all of the potential legal provisions that might have applied at various steps along the way. (Or, frankly, the inclination to do so -- after all, whether the governor of California fraudulently obtained his citizenship isn't a consequential matter of public concern, like Kaavya Viswanathan's plagiarism.) But if Ahnold obtained his green card or naturalization by giving false information to the INS, or by failing to disclose material information that he should have provided, then that could have had bearing on his "good moral character" or lack thereof, and depending on the circumstances could even at the time have been an independent criminal violation or ground for deportation -- quite apart from the alleged violation of his original visa terms itself, which isn't entirely clear to me.
(The alleged violation of the visa terms also may or may not have affected his ability to adjust status from his non-immigrant visa and get a green card -- I'm not sure, and haven't looked into it. Assuming of course that he fully disclosed everything to the INS at the time -- if he didn't, that seems to raise different issues.)
It seems to me, then, that the major issue for him might be whether he concealed anything at any point along the way that he should have disclosed to the INS. The fact that it all took place a long time ago and he's now a citizen probably does not matter -- just ask John Demjanjuk or the many others who have been denaturalized after many years in the US after naturalization. (Maybe it should, but if so then that should apply across the board to everyone, not just famous bodybuilder-politicians.)
As I said, very crudely. Haven't spent time to really think through the issues closely, and there might be other relevant wrinkles here. This is, after all, the wonderful world of immigration law, which bears "striking resemblance ...[to] King Minos's labyrinth in ancient Crete" and is an example of "Congress's ingenuity in passing statutes certain to accelerate the aging process of judges." (Not to mention the aging process of lawyers themselves.)
Thanx AK for the information. I suppose any dreams of taking down the Terminator are doomed at the prospects of finding anything unlawful in his past.
"A naturalized (as opposed to native-born) citizen may be denaturalized if their citizenship was "illegally procured or . . . procured by concealment of a material fact or by willful misrepresentation." And an application for naturalization may only be granted in the first place if the individual (1) is lawfully admitted as a permanent resident, and (2) has been a person of 'good moral character,' "
Apparently in the post 9-1