May 11, 2006
Before the Wick is Dipped...Health and Medicine
After two years of market research, Hindustan Latex Limited (HLL) is ready for a commercial launch of the female condom in India. It will be distributed under the brand name ‘Confidom’. The condom is manufactured in the U.K. by the Chicago-based Female Health Company (FHC). In addition, the FHC announced this week that it has received an order from the National AIDS Control Organization of the Government of India for over 500, 000 condoms. [Link, in PDF]
Research conducted by HLL last year indicated an interest in the product from commercial sex workers as well as from college girls [Link]. While HLL is eying the moolah in upper middle class spheres the Indian government is giving them a helping hand by working with NGOs to reach sex workers:
Positioned as a high-end lifestyle product targeted at the segment of women aged between 18 to 35 years, the product has been priced at Rs. 250 for a pack of two. It expects to sell five lakh units in the first year. Meanwhile, the government has already ordered about five lakh pieces to be distributed free through NGOs or at a subsidized price of Rs. 5 to sex workers. [Link]
Female condoms are unique because they give women simultaneous control over STD prevention and contraceptive technology. Their influence on HIV prevention programs dealing with sex workers, such as Kolkata’s Sonagachi Project, could be huge. While promoting HIV awareness in the Sonagachi brothels, public health scientist Smarajit Rana found some very basic obstacles preventing the use of male condoms:
It transpired that if a prostitute insisted on condom use, her customer just went to someone else. Unlike AIDS, starvation posed an immediate threat, and the program seemed doomed. “Counseling, educating—it just doesn’t work,” Jana states. “Higher up in the social hierarchy, people are able to act on the information given to them. Not so in the lower levels.” [Link]
Confidoms could drastically reduce such difficulties faced by sex workers but at Rs. 5 a pop I wonder how accessible this method really is to them. HLL is looking at negotiating a deal with the FHC that would allow them to manufacture the condoms domestically, which would lower the price, but no word of a definite agreement as yet.
Lack of spermicide and a slightly tricky insertion procedure make the female condoms around 80% effective at pregnancy prevention, compared to 97% for a male condom with spermicide. However, the polyurethane sheaths have a lower risk of tearing or slipping off than male condoms and do not require an erect penis to operate. If sold at a lower price, they could provide an easily accessible alternative to oral contraception (because, for one, them things is hard to hide from unsupportive mummies and daddies) or laytex condoms (because of allergies). The benefit is also clear for younger, sexually active women who, for whatever reason, find themselves unable to say “No glove, no love! to unedu-ma-cated romeos armed with a million excuses, I can’t feel anything, My instrument is too massive, Oww!, and so on. Here’s hoping the Confidoms do all this and more.
neha on May 11, 2006 10:16 PM in Health and Medicine · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
Neha thanx for posting this. Interestingly available since the early 90s in the US it's one of the least popular method of contraception for women. Women still by and large tend to rely on a man for protection in terms of STDs.
Just asked my mother some questions regarding this, she's sitting here next to me. She's a Ob/Gyn. Her opinion is that it's rate of difficult is far higher then a standard diaphragm or condom. Also she said that it tends to tear/bunch up and get pushed up against the cervix during intercourse and becomes increasingly difficult to remove not to mention the exposure to semen.
(Yes I actually have these ridiculously clinical discussions with my mother!!)
hey lingus - your deccan herald link seems broken..
but great article. i'll look around - but by any chance did you come across the packaging for the confidom - i'd be curious on what it looks like, the packaging, print, language etc.
I love it - the company web site and in hindi as well - and they seem to be going after very distinct market segments, "rakshak", "ustad", "moods" etc. - for all the public dissing that goes on for governmental inefficiencies, this seems to be as professional, if not better, than any private sector enterprise. I would surmise that Hind Latex has a huge export focus - given that the bulk of its domestic production would be subsidized as a public health initiative - but on second thoughts no, with a billion and plus strength - this is one product line that good heavens, must be booming and how - I couldnt find the package for the "confidom" - but from what i saw on the other products - I wouldnt be surprised if there was very robust thought that went into the design, the lettering etc. Wow!! I'm just in awe.
I'll tell you where I'm going with this - judging by the two market segments that are indicated - I would be curious (professionally) on how they were packaged - some of you who've used pregnancy tests might be aware of a product that is packaged and sold in two different designs to cater to separate segments - the "apprehensives" and the "hopefuls". but i'm going off on a tangent...
the report suggests 80% success rate on pregnancy prevention - how effective is it against HIV transmission? anyone in the kno?
I think I saw some with chick-lit-cover-style packaging (pink, martini glasses, manolos) - heh heh - that's some gawdawful marketing!
voila!
Correction - the protection rate is between 79% and 95%:
These are the comparable numbers for male condoms:
I think that they have around the same rate of disease protection when used properly. Female condoms are polyeurethane, and they're just as resistant and durable.
[Very interesting numbers at that site - I was surprised to see that when rhythm is perfectly followed, its efficacy is only 1% less than a male condom]
A-ha! Thanks for fixing the link lingus. sheds light
Thanks JOAT and mum! Hmm, doesn't sound like the best experience. Strange because it has a lot of potential but the design doesn't seem to have changed much since it was introduced. I'm curious, why is there no spermicide on these femdoms? Wouldn't it make them safer? Is it issues with the polyurethane?
Thanks, Dhaavak, link is fixed. I couldn't find any packaging for the confidom either.
[Sorry, "rhythm" is just one fertility awareness method, and a less effective one at that. I meant when a good FAM technique is used ... ]
dhaavak -- i like tangents. tell me more about this.
"The most common form of spermicide is Nonoxynol9 and this product seems to be made with women in mind and their pleasure, comfort and protection. The same women who are generally allergic to latex are also allergic to Nonoxynol9. And since this product isn't using latex I can only assume that they are not using spermicide for the same reason. Spermicide can be used with it however and because it's not latex even oil based lubricants can be used with it." - Mom
Ennis, I used the 80% because it is the typical rate, the perfect rate could ideally be achieved with enough practice and minumum tugging and a bit of luck but I'm just a pessimist like that sometimes :-) The male condom rate of 85% seems to be for condoms without spermicide. With spermicide, which is often included on condoms, the rates are higher.
espressa - wasnt my schtick - but i do have the case study somewhere - the nuts and bolts is that pregnancy tests are geared either to expectant mothers or to women who may have had an accident. the the color scheme, the words used on the packages are geared to their respective wants and needs - and the pricing as well - the "expectant hopefuls" would pay more for the product and the location of the product in a store would also be geared along similar lines. I wouldnt take neha's thread too far off track. To put it in context of the product in discussion - I would have hypothesized three prominent market segments - the uberfemme, the collegiate and the sex worker - the primary need of these would be, in the same order, glamor, discretion and pricing. So, the packaging that ang produced for the canadian trojan would probably appeal to the uberfemme. The collegiate I suspect would go for a smaller, softer packagin that would fit inside a handbag or in a pocket. the sex worker would likely need much cheaper products as hindlatex seems to have done . also, i am pleased that my original hypothesis on the naming was correct - "rani" would be something that would be very apt for the sex worker demographic - "rani" means Queen in Hindi - and not only does it imply a degree of pride associated with the product use, it also suggests empowerment. Like is said, by their web site, these guys have their act together.
Neha, I'm curious, is the post title an intentional spoonerism?
he he, kobayashi! good catch - also,
"laytex condoms " ?
but seriously, My instrument is too massive, Oww!, are *all* true for ME ;-)
I dislike whores and johns boths.
I dont care whore a John fucks, and gets transfers whatever VD.
Oh ok some bleeding farts will create an example out of some kid who got aids through his
F'ed up mommy or blood transfusion.
To that i say tough shit dude, enjoy the new tom hanks flick.
Guru Gulab Khatri (who donated blood 14 times)
I dislike whores and johns boths.
I dont care whore a John fucks, and gets transfers whatever VD.
Oh ok some bleeding farts will create an example out of some kid who got aids through his
F'ed up mommy or blood transfusion.
To that i say tough shit dude, enjoy the new tom hanks flick.
What the hell?
Were you feeling whoozy when you wrote this?
Guru Gulab Khatri, I think you donated a little too much blood.
My instrument is too massive,
There are guys that can justifiably claim this?
No glove, no love! to unedu-ma-cated romeos armed with a million excuses, I cant feel anything, My instrument is too massive, Oww!, and so on.
Guys may claim that wearing a raincoat prohibits them from feeling anything, but I've seen a female condom on TV once, and those things look so thick that even an asteroid could not burst through it. How could a girl/woman feel anything with something exponentially smaller than an asteroid when she has a female condom
onin?In addition, the FHC announced this week that it has received an order from the National AIDS Control Organization of the Government of India for over 500, 000 condoms.
Only 500,000? There must be over 500,000 Desis having sex. Plus, there's a billion Indians. Italy's population is much smaller-- it is negative 0-- and produces much more than 500,000 condoms. (Or maybe their population is dwindling thanks to rubber).
"rani" would be something that would be very apt for the sex worker demographic - "rani" means Queen in Hindi - and not only does it imply a degree of pride associated with the product use, it also suggests empowerment.
Hmmm..."rani" is nice but I think that these new female condoms should be named "Meheboob". It's a word that contains two meanings: "meheboob", as you all know, means "my love" in Hindi, and "boob" is, well, self-explanatory. It is both romantic and quite empowering at the same time. Plus, the term "meheboob" is also found in the Persian and Arabic languages, so we can definately put this out on the global market.
"Meheboob" rolls nicely off the tongue.
Yes the insecure ones. The "normal" ones prefer to let the woman be the judge.
I've tried both with the same partner and I liked the female condoms a lot more. The material transmits heat and so you feel the barrier less. I also felt more 'cuz it did not cover mini-me up.
She did not care which one we used as long as we stayed safe.
Just my personal experience. Am I the only person who has tried 'em? Or just the only person willing to admit to having the sex?
Maybe the fact that the opening and the first 4 inches or so of the female genital opening is where the most sensitivity is? That is why penetration is often not the way to see stars. ;-)
and then there is the anti-pleasure female condom 8-o (NSFW: but I chose this site for the interesting commentary at the bottom)
There's a support group for those individuals (and the lades who love them).
Finally! Brown women can share the burden of contraception and STD prevention. Ladies, We endured quietly, strongly before, but quite frankly we tired of being your beasts of burden.
CAD
The female condoms purchased by the Indian govt. are going to be either given away to NGOs or sold specifically to sex workers at a subsidized rate. HLL is going to be selling the condom commercially to the rest of the public. A deal for domestic production has not been finalized as yet.I've used them
Hehe, good desi boys and girls don't have the sex. Hahaha! Joke! Thanks for your notes, much appreciated. I'm an Alesse girl myself and haven't tried the femdom. They are quite expensive compared to male condoms too, here in Canada. I have had the pleasure of examining a few and they aren't bad at all. Thin enough and as you pointed out well-suited to trapping that hot hot heat. As JOaT's mum pointed out earlier, they can be used with oil-based lubricants as well so heating lubes might also add a special tingle treat.Misichana
Gurl, ain't that the solemn truth! As an aside, it's crazy how many dudes think this line of reasoning is a big lie made up by women to make men feel better about themselves. Silly billys.Ghee!
[giggle]
Sorry, I should be serious but Ghee! Ghee! Ghee!
How can we not have a discussion about SASex without discussing GHEE!
Hahaha, gheee. Ay hai, Govinda, you are her chicken fry, she is your masala dosa!
Finally something in SM i can use!
LOL i meant to quote this ^^
.You are all terrible desi boys and girls and should not know about any of this until after you are married. In fact, maybe not even then. Forget the question of whether the average desi uncle and auntie approves of pre-marital sex, the 64 million rupee question is how many of them believe in post-marital sex. Well, apart from a quickie on Diwali of course, just for old time's sake. Or at least lying back and thinking of India until Patel/Singh/Khan Junior has been dutifully delivered 9 months later, at which point the risk of having to endure another marathon 30-second nookie session is pushed back for a few years.
*Jai getting more badmaash by the minute*
It's not a bottomless pit...for petes sake 4 is about as deep as it gets!!
I think you'll be shocked. You underestimate our parents. I certainly always do and am put in my place by my mother. My father on the other hand duly believes all his children have never seen a naked body except their own!
Jai...why Diwali? Aren't there enough 'fatakras' in the air already?
Okay, this one, I simply don't get. What does ghee have to do with sex? Help me please..
JOAT, every time my mother started on the 'sex' discussion, I ran out wailing like a banshee. I couldn't and still cannot fathom the idea of them doing the deed. But like your dad, mine is in denial too!
I like this femdom idea and the fact that commercial sex workers will have access to it. Hopefully the women using it can be strong about not letting the guys get away with the 'It's too tight for me to be comfortable' or the classic, 'I have never found a condom that fits yet' excuses.
Though my folks are pretty open and have never denied me any education when it comes to sex, they never grew up talking openly to their parents about sex so when we talk about it the discussion is always in third person. I've even gotten over my squeamishness at the thought of them romping...almost...but they still have quite the trouble thinking of me as being capable of sexual activity.
A couple of years ago my dad saw my ex on the tube in a condom ad and he dialed my digits so quick that my mum barely had time to finish her "hai hai"s. What followed was the same dialogue my dad always gives me (which I love him for) when he's faced with such issues, "Beta, please be careful and just remember, boys can be very naughty...I was a boy once and I know how it is to be young! No cares, full of this curiousity. Young boys are after one thing only! Arey, why are you laughing?".
Msichana:
Maybe the fact that the opening and the first 4 inches or so of the female genital opening is where the most sensitivity is? That is why penetration is often not the way to see stars. ;-)
Speak for yourself.
Cheap Ass Desi...care to elucidate? Are you or is someone a proud claimant of more then 4 inches of ultra sensitive nerve endings or do you not agree that penetration is not always the way to go?
Dude, Neha, your ex is hot. I remember seeing that ad in India. That story altogether is hilarious- that a) your ex was in a condom ad b) your parents watched the condom ad and c) you got a sex talk cuz of it!
I just got back from a desi wedding and I don't want to picture all those aunties and uncles having sex. Ugh. While on the matter of sex, did anyone see the news pieces on the tipline about custom fit condoms?
There's probably a niche for that out there actually.
Someone register www.hotIndianAunty&Uncle.com quick.
Without giving away too much information, penetration is the way to go. I see plenty of stars, and not only that-- but the heavens, the sky, the earth, Bhagwan himself.
If you are not feeling it with penetration, then maybe your man is not doing something right. Or he is not working it correctly. Maybe you need to experiment, see whether certain positions work for you? This is something to think about and pursue in confidentiality with your meheboob. I don't know. I have some female friends who claim that they never get an orgasm with penetration only. What,then, is the point of having sex????? If you can't climax with just penetration, then something needs to be done. Don't let him get away with all of the pleasure. It is possible for a woman to climax with penetration, trust me. Refuse to have intercourse with him if you're not getting anything out of it.
Desi ladies, unite. Ask for what is rightfully yours.
Desi ladies, unite. Ask for what is rightfully yours.
Make him work it.
Oh, we're long past that point.
This thread is like gatecrashing a girlie pyjama party ;)
I hope everyone figured out that I was just kidding about the older generation shenanigans, although I'm sure it's accurate in some cases considering all the dysfunctional marriages that are around.
I believe that a woman achieving a "happy ending" is often less to do with the nature of the sword itself and more to do with her opinion of the man holding the weapon, along with the chemistry and emotions between the two combatants, although of course it does help if the noble warrior knows how to wield his blade (and the rest of his fighting skills) effectively enough to give his opponent a sufficiently thorough workout.
Msichana,
Ha, that's funny, I'd momentarily forgotten about the fireworks. I was just kidding around, and quoted Diwali as a random "special occasion".
Bechari naive Msichana ;)
Anna,
You said it ;)
I think that Ghee came up in the comments because Ghee comes up in everything desi. It's not just a cooking oil, it's a medicine, it's used in massage, it's used in religious rituals, etc. Ayurvedic medicine is very fond of Ghee. In this case, it's being suggested as an oil based lubricant.
It's getting hot in Herrrrre!
Jesus, check you guys out! Everyone got worked up (in all senses, I bet).
I cannot be held fully accountable for my comments in #41. I had drunk a little too much wine before writing that comment. Here I will try to soothe everyone's ruffled feathers.
Neha:
Calm down, chokri!!! Don't get miffed. I think both should find out how each can attain the most pleasure. But yes, as I stated in my comment, I have female friends who do say that they cannot reach an orgasm simply with penetration. So maybe I am just an anamoly and am lucky to have my g-spot close to the wall.
Jai:
Beta, I am so proud of you. When you become a husband (seeing that you haven't engaged in pre-marital sex because you are not married yet, and as a good boy, you are waiting for your wedding night), you will make your wife happy. And you are totally right, emotions and opinons play a big part in whether women achieve an orgasm; in fact, I think it is the single most overriding and determining factor (at least for me). It also helps that the knight "knows how to wield his blade", as you poetically put it.
I am really,really hesitant to say this, but I'll go ahead and just say it. I don't think I would be too happy if my man had a weener of a penis. Sorry. It just wouldn't work out between us. I've heard women say "Oh, size doesn't matter". Yes, as long as it is not the size of my pinky.
This is the ideal ladka: a man who is sweet, generous, strong yet gentle,trustworthy and 100% faithful, thoughtful, intelligent, clever and makes me laugh and stimulates me intellectually. Then, he has an average/above- average sized tool. We have both found a way to synchronize our lovemaking in such a way that both see stars in the end.
Anna:
Sorry, didn't mean to disclose too much information. I hope I don't come off as some raunchy nymphomaniac. Mutineers, don't judge my future comments on politics, race-relations, and such on the comments I have posted here. I hope I didn't ruin my good name on SM.
Ladies ladies....
Isn't it possible that like vagina's experiences are just as varied?? No two women can and do experience exactly the same thing because no two women are really exactly built the same.
And the old saying 'size doesn't matter' was surely coined by someone that obviously had a member that simply wasn't large enough.
Janeofalltrades:
Seriously. Also, that saying "It's not the size of the boat that counts; it's the motion of the ocean". Yeah, right.
Priceless comment. ;)
[Blowing whistle loudly] Yellow card!
I acknowledge that there is a whole section in the Kama Sutra about this, but it describes the size and shape of both male and female genitalia. I really don't want another commenter to show up and start making similar remarks about women - that would make many of our remale readers most uncomfortable.
Since what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I'm going to gently ask you ladies to avoid such blatant objectification. You can keep talking about sex, I just don't think it's a good idea to put guys down for the size of their weenies - they usually don't like it, and then the trolls will be out in force.
SM Intern:
It is very touching and sweet that you personally intervened in this debate. Hmmmm, something tells me you are a male...
Anyway, I'm just talking about my personal preferences.
Too true... yes, also the size of female genitalia is another factor.
People can make comments discussing all kinds of sizes of both sexes. It is fair game if one has already spoken about men.
This forum is education for the sexes. If your parents aren't going to talk to you about sex, it is better to learn about here from SM rather than MTV and "Sex in the City".
Hear! Hear!
See what you started Neha? Now you have a bunch of desi bhais and bahens discussing sex..Fun!
Ennis, thanks for the note about ghee. I was completely confused there for a minute!
Nice one Jai on the mental arousal statement. It's amazing how so many people still don't get that simple concept. It makes me wonder about sexual relationships back in the days when a majority of the people had arranged marriages. It couldn't have been enjoyable for women! I mean, how much fun can you have if you're doing it to appease your man and hoping to concieve little muna.
SM Intern:
I'm curious, but who are you? Does an "SM intern" really exist, or is it a strategy for SM bloggers to intervene and write comments masquerading as an "intern" who is an anonymous, objective and abstract entity operating behind the curtain? Like the Wizard of Oz?
Likewise, who is the Administrator? This person-- who helped me understand how to use the blockquotes over on the other thread and to whom I am grateful-- was it ennis or Manish who comes to the rescue of newly initiated Mutineers under the guise of "the administrator"?
Now I am intrigued. The more I think about it, the creepier it seems. The "SM intern" and "Administrator" could be anybody. Who are you?
Maybe, but it still was a priceless comment.
Msichana,
It requires a certain level of emotional sensitivity on the part of the guy to be aware of this, along with specific life-experience on the part of both parties involved.
Unfortunately, not everyone necessarily has the former or is lucky enough to experience the latter.
CAD,
Have you ever seen the movie the Matrix? You might remember that there was a "keymaker," an "architect," "the oracle," and several other charaters including "Agent Smith." Even once their faces were revealed you still couldn't figure out what or who they REALLY were in the grand scheme of things. Things on the SM website work the same way. Even if you put a face to the "SM intern" or the "Administrator," will it really do you any good? Unlearn all that you have learned and then you will see SM for what it really is. I chose the blue pill.
my cut and paste function is not functioning, but Mschiana, I wonder the same thing re: back in the day. there were plenty of romantics back in the day as well, like Sahir Ludhianvi, they must have got it. but maybe the proportion of good sex is constant over time and the amount people talk about it differs?? not that I have any way of knowing
Follow the White Rabbit:
Are you the SM intern, then?
No, I haven't seen the Matrix all the way through. I fell asleep when Keanau Reeves appeared on the screen.
What the hell is a blue pill?
Follow the White Rabbit, your explanation is obscure, dark, and mysterious. It is making me scared.
AK:
You're making sarcastic comments now, but you will be grateful on your wedding night and whisper to yourself "Thank you, Dr. Cheap Ass Desi" for educating you on how men and women can have satisfying relationships (coupled with the Kama Sutra as supplemental reading).
Perhaps. I am many things to many people. In one reality I do serve the function of an SM intern.
If you really want all the answers then maybe you are ready to take the red pill instead.
I was just mixing myself a martini and came across some very beautiful laydeeez here in touch with their inner woman soul. So beautiful to see so many laydeeez in touch with what makes a woman want to scream. Now laydeeez, let me slip out of my silk dressing gown and put on my leopard skin thong, and show you what a real man can do to satisfy you laydeeez. Let me invite you to my seduction room and teach you how a man can make a woman feel like laydeee, oooh baby yeah size is EVERYTHING let me mix you a martini.....
Follow the White Rabbit:
Why did you use "Follow the White Rabbit" as your handle? Images of a diabolical and evil white rabbit with razor sharp fangs and bright red eyes come to mind. A wicked white rabbit that deceivingly leads me into bottomless black pit where indescribable horrors await me.....very creepy.
Ok, ok, I read the Matrix philosophy. It vaguely reminds me of the Bhagvad Gita, but never mind. I took the red pill. Now, tell me who you are.
I bet 1000 lakhs that it's Abhi who's posing as the white rabbit.
Oh dear, Dr. CAD. I think you may be taking this all a tad bit personally, eh? I'm neither objecting to the thread/your comments nor being sarcastic at all, just appreciating Anna's witty banter with you. And no, I wasn't doing so as payback, and no, she didn't make me write it because I'm the SM Intern.
(On that note, however, am I in fact the SM Intern? Hmmmm.....)
p.s. -- you've got 1000 lakhs to bet? 1000 lakhs of what? I thought you were Cheap Ass Desi....
Barry White:
What a coincidence, I was just listening to one of your LP's.
If you want to make Desi ladies go crazy, I suggest that you wear not a leopard skin thong, but a thong with the Indian flag printed on it, with the spinning wheel spinning right in the middle. Guaranteed to
hypnotizeput any Desi woman in the mood into havinginvoluntary sex with you.AK
Oh, I know you're joshing. Don't worry. But the "payback" link-- didn't get that. I wasn't a Mutineer back then, and hence, doesn't involve me.
Please don't mess with my mind. Follow the white rabbit, the SM Intern, the Administrator, and Barry White are all playing games with me. Don't you go and add onto the rising multitude of voices that are beginning to persecute me.
SHHHHH!! Jesus AK, don't blow my cover by pointing out that I don't have the 1000 lakhs to pay the bet! I don't have any dough now, and even if I had 1000 lakhs earned from my own sweat and blood, there's no way in hell that I'd give it up, bet or no bet. I'm going to procure 1000 lakhs as soon as I become Secretary of Treasury.
Wake up CAD
The Mutiny has you
Follow the White Rabbit
Knock knock CAD...
CAD, are any of these commenters real people? Do Abhi, Manish, and Anna exist at all? How do you know? Might they just simply be alter egos -- dare I say, "avatars" -- of the same Administrator into which you keep trying to resist being assimilated?
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Anyway, bringing this thread back to the topic at hand, which is female condoms, I'd like to give some advice to the Desi lads.
If you aspire to be a Desi Don Juan, I strongly suggest that when you go over a potentional amour's place in hopes of spending a romantic evening full of screaming fun and delightful games, bring:
*5 female condoms
*a box of barfi (not the almond kind, yuck)
*a styrofoam cup of gulab jamun.
*a copy of Kaavya's book
No jalebi please. Jalebi is icky. She'll spend the rest of the evening trying to wash off the sticky syrup rather than paying attention to you.
Make sure you are hygenically clean. No strong cologne, especially Calvin Klein scents. Just come smelling clean and like rose water. A little bit of a five o'clock shadow is kinda sexy and rugged looking. Underneath, wear briefs with the Indian flag printed on it, with the spinning wheel placed on the location where it counts--Yeow!
(Note: these briefs are, if you haven't already noticed on other threads, my personal favorite. But you are free to choose whichever print that pleases you, as long as it is not the US flag. Big turn-off; nobody wants to be having sex with a bully).
No socks that match your clothes. Too preppy and superficial. Good ole white socks work. Please take your shoes off at the door.
Hope these pointers help.
Good luck.
They are part of the hive mind. Run while you still can CAD.
(I think only Abhi will get this name. Perhaps not even him.)
Morpheus/Borg/AK/Abhi/Anna/Manish/Follow the White Rabbit/Barry White:
Stop it, STop it, STOP it, STOP IT!!!!!
(clutching head and screaming like a madwoman)
LEAVE ME ALONE. STOP HAUNTING ME. Please.
As opposed to metaphorically clean?
As opposed to carrying a gun?
All Cheap Ass Desi ever wanted was her rug back
good afternoon dearies- hope you are having a nice saturday - yawn - how you doin' -hmmm...- i cant and wont do a dr savage online (lingus will know what i'm talking about) - but other random thoughts - my exposure to the birds and the bees was through some glossy pages - no ... not what you are thinking - mum is a doc - and the precocious fellow that i was - i remember one muggy warm afternoon i went through her books and opened it to pictures of some rather inflamed and diseased genitalia - holy crap - and the color imagery in the times these books were published were not really tru-color - and the imprint (at least in my mind) was vivid shades of pink, white and black and red - most of the trajectory from that point followed the regular path but it was interesting - another little twist was when we received a package covered in brown paper in the mail - so ... again - the nosey little fellow i was - i made some sharp incisions and pulled it out - a book by dr kothari... - for those not in the know, a noted sexologist - i had an interesting few minutes of reading before i realized this may-not-be-purely because of mum's professional interests - oookeey...!! - unlike the popular thought - my reaction wasnt eeeww... more like... uh..what.!! but from that point i became more respectful of their privacy - or at least tried not to be hyper all the time - ok... enough tangents... off for a nice evening run - bye.
And is each post by SM Intern even the same SM Intern? Each post by Abhi the same Abhi? Each Administrator the same Administrator?
CAD, maybe there are many copies. And maybe, "[s]ooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore."
Hugh is Kush, the White Rabbit is Abhi, and CAD is obviously being paid by word count. Surely, she has set some record on most comments left for a Sepia week. What does she win?
Hugh, Madurai Vivekan, All of You:
WHO ARE YOU?
Give me back my rug.
1000 lakhs.
The episode was titled "I, Borg" :)
Is that how they spelled his name? I thought it was Hue - it makes more sense to me that way, no?
Why would Hue make more sense MV?
Guinan was kind of attractive in that episode, getting all angry, you go Whoopi. Season 5 (I'm not going to be lame and look it up then pretend I know, but it was a late episode).
dr.ruth
Ouch, this hurts. After I post my (last) comment, I am going to go lick my wounded paws. And then get ready for an evening out.
And excuse me, but may I ask who you are, dr. ruth? Hm? Doctor Ruth, eh? Trying to steal my style... punk.
Why, of course, Dr. Ruth is the SM Intern. Or at least one of them.
BB - because they named him and gave him an individual identity to try and destroy the collective identity of the Borg - they were adding Hue to a colorless palatte. Kind of like Pleasantville.
So they're not intended for all of India, but it still seems like a fairly low number. Maybe it's on a trial basis to see how they go over. I wonder in which cities they're planning to distribute them...
Sigh. When I read this, I was like, "cool, she gets it". But then everything went all squirrely. Or rabbit-y.
Which is it? Do you want to push the limits of taste and be the outrageous one whom people might disdain or do you want to be taken seriously? It's really hard to pull off both. I'm not going to associate your future comments with this thread but I can't say that others won't, since you changed your mind and pushed back, like you were fine with being Raunch Ass Desi.
What the hell did I do? I thought I made a wry comment about the direction of this thread. Though I hoped you'd take the hint, I didn't write it to persecute you, if that's what you're insisting I stop doing.
It makes my Saturday that someone erudite appreciated my wit, but I was also subtly making a point. I'm the first person to leave obnoxious comments on this blog, but there's a line which even I don't cross. Someone dear to me once told me that good manners had nothing to do with utilizing the correct fork; etiquette is about courtesy and specifically not making others uncomfortable, which is exactly what was happening, before our intern intervened. Instead of heeding their very gentle advice, you decided to ask the irrelevant question of who the intern was, something no one else has ever needed to do, and yeah, I'll say it, it was a bit of a buzz kill. Play along, it's fun, damnit.
I know you haven't been here long, but I had really come to appreciate your comments, to the point where I was wishing out loud to people that you'd start a blog. I had enjoyed what you brought to this party until this thread, where your comments did raise my eyebrows. Yes, it's a thread about condoms, but did we need to go there? What's the point of meowing like size queens? Like a guy has any control over that...I'd be livid if someone told me my chest was too small for them and I'd have every right to be irate over such superficiality. Wouldn't you?
I've heard that certain female mutineers found/find SM to be a less than hospitable place for women, but I don't think that this is the way to remedy the situation. I hate hypocrites and I refuse to end up one unwittingly by condoning this. If I want to create a space where men have to respect women, we have to play fair, too.
1) You had no way of knowing this, but one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think that the word "in" is...in... "Sex and the City".
2) Education can occur without making others feel small.
It may not have involved you when it was initially written, but if you clicked on the link, it would've been easy to understand that AK was being kind and providing context, which is what we all do when we think someone is cool and want to include them. I am grateful for/know that we get new readers every single day and I don't expect recent arrivals to read all of the archives to "catch up"-- though I DO wish they'd use the convenient search box before posting comments like "Why didn't you guys do a post on this", since we usually already have...a lot gets covered in two years-- BUT I do expect that they suss out the vibe here and realize that the biggest reason why people mutiny is because this space is a place for a close-knit group of people who are like-minded and fun. The inside jokes (Jai and his badmashing, the love that dare not speak its name betwixt Ennis and a certain dancer, Razib brainy smurfing to the point of incoherence, Manish's fondness for velvet and Rushdie, Abhi's and my annulment etc) are what make SM extra awesome. Unmasking who the intern is while dissing guys who have genitalia you're not in to? Not awesome. That's just my opinion and it's nothing personal.
Not yet. ;) But if you're worried, we've got an internship spot available so you can redeem yourself.
Uh oh. Looks like that day might be here already. ;)
I've heard that certain female mutineers found/find SM to be a less than hospitable place for women, but I don't think that this is the way to remedy the situation. I hate hypocrites and I refuse to end up one unwittingly by condoning this. If I want to create a space where men have to respect women, we have to play fair, too.
You pick this thread and this cause to write a tome about gender equity and manners? That's lame. And quite honestly, seems more about being uncomfortable about frank discussion of sex than anyone's rights or discomfort.
*sigh*, I was sorta enjoying the Vagina Dialogues.
Sorry...this was unfair.
To quote someone I adore, let me get this gay-- you had no issue with OTHER people threadjacking this very worthy topic to talk about penis size and advice on how to get laid, but you have the temerity to come after me for addressing said threadjack? I have EVERY right to say whatever I please, but in this case, several of those statements I quoted were addressed to ME, which makes my "tome" even more apposite. But I guess there is only a problem for you if I'm the one writing.
Well, you know what Saurav? I'm never going to measure up to your standards of coolness, progressiveness or feminism so I'm glad that the ones I do measure up to are my own. I think your judging me is lame. I wrote exactly what I felt which is what everyone should do (within reason). You don't get to approve whether my comments came at a time and place you think are worthy.
THIS was unfair but calling my words "lame" wasn't? Awesome.
Quite honestly, you may not know what you're talking about. It wasn't brought to your attention but this is about discomfort. For whatever reason, people come to me either via AIM or email or comments on AJD when they want to say things about SM but don't feel like they can do so here. After hearing from a few of them AND reading the words of a certain intern, I think I have every right to assert that this thread HAS bothered people. A frank discussion of sex is one thing, invalidating people and being shallow is another. I don't pick and choose when to be fair. If I don't want a guy telling me my tits are too small, I don't get to judge him by the size of his dick.
I think I have every right to assert that this thread HAS bothered people
I agree. I had trouble performing after reading some of the comments on here.
I might sue for intentional infliction of genital distress.
That's like a review of two Ang Lee movies at once. Call it "Crouching Tiger, Brokeback Dragon."
Crouching brokeback whatever, I just think the way the man writes is swoooontastic. Le sigh.
I have EVERY right to say whatever I please.
Of course you do...as do I. I think you overreacted and judged selectively. You think I was unfair and ill-informed. Is it worth putting ourselves through another 15 comments? Probably not.
How about I wish your mother a Happy Mother's Day and we call it a day.
Anna:
Don't get mad! Here, let me address your points:
I think you misunderstood. I wrote Abhi/Anna/Manish/et al because someone had written:
And others suggested that maybe one of the SM bloggers, or all of you in one, might be the SM intern. I didn't write it meaning that you personally were "persecuting me". I don't have any bones to pick with you!
But I really was curious. In all of the other forums I saw SM Intern pop up, and then I remember that when I was trying to figure out how to use of the symbols, an Administrator came to the rescue instantly. So I genuinely wanted to know if there is such a thing as an SM Intern. I wasn't trying to be irrelevent.
Unmasking who the intern is while dissing guys who have genitalia you're not in to? Not awesome. That's just my opinion and it's nothing personal.
But I didn't unmask the intern, I simply asked if someone really did exist, and if so,who it was. And I didn't "diss" any specific guys. I was just giving my opinion.
No, it was very nice of AK to provide context. I did clink on the link, and I was puzzled as to why AK provided it-- I thought that maybe AK was drawing to my attention another comment?- and I may of missed it, but I didn't see anything that was linked to this conversation. That is why I wrote that, but I can see how it can be misinterpreted. AK, if you're out there, I hope you didn't misconstrue the above comment. If you did, I apologize, I didn't mean it in a callous manner.
I do understand that certain comments might make people uncomfortable, but "Rauch Ass Desi"? I think you're being too rough. I don't see how I was being "raunchy" per se. People wrote comments, I wrote my comments, and also replied to comments that others made. True, my comments did get progressively whackier, but I don't understand why I am being singled out since there were similar comments written by others. If, however, my comments specifically were the ones making others uncomfortable, then I apologize.
Another thing: I have noticed while browsing through other SM blogs, there were many comments where lists were made about women's "cabooses", measurements, and sex. I'm not trying to counter your points by saying "well, others have been doing it too!" but rather, I thought that the above comments were acceptable. I personally didn't get offended when I read those lists and/or similar comments. But again, if my comments were out of line, then I apologize. They were written in the spirit of trying to be funny (but alas, I failed).
Last thing:
Hmmm...start my own blog? I didn't even know what a blog was until 2 weeks ago!
It's all good in the Sepia hood, CAD. Now seriously, please consider blogging, because it's rare that I get this excited about seeing someone's comments. I like your voice. It reminds me of the voices I normally get drunk with and that is a very precious thing. ;) Go you and whatnot.
Anna:
It's all good in the Sepia hood, CAD. Now seriously, please consider blogging, because it's rare that I get this excited about seeing someone's comments.
Now that I've actually found out what a "blog" is, I've been scoping out other blogs, and I've noticed that you have to include your name and picture. This, I'm afraid, is not an option in my case. I happen to be a very well known public figure, both within the Desi community as well in North America, Asia, the Middle East, and Africa. I could even be Bobby Jindal, for all you know. Or Aishwarya Rai, who under the cover of "Cheap Ass Desi", permits herself to write things that she wouldn't dare say to Salman Khan in person.
Um, I don't know whether to take that as a compliment? It's a compliment when someone says, "Cheap Ass Desi, having a conversation with you is like sitting in a French cafe wearing blue berets, and having a chain-smoking and coffee-drinking 24 hour marathon while engaging in vigorous and stimulating intellectual debates" but I remind you of being with someone who is drunk? I thought my commentaries on politics, the evil model minority myth, and Yuppy Desis were more sophisticated than that.
That's BS. You can easily start a blog with the name "Cheap Ass Desi" and put a generic picture of a dollar bill up. And hence, a blog. I mean, if you combine all your comments from the past couple of days, you'd have a months worth of blog posts. And instead of thread jacking, you get to write what you want. Seriously though- it's possible to do the anonymous blog.
For someone that just discovered blogs a couple of weeks ago, you sure comment on this blog alot. I'm just sayin'...
Huh:
Oh... ok. I like the idea of putting a dollar bill, that fits in real nicely with my name-- Cheap Ass Desi. Very cute idea.
Hmm... I don't know how to take this. You're not dr. ruth, are you? (see #78). Or are you another Mutineer who's trying to be cheeky and tell me that I should stop posting so many comments?
That's probably exactly why I've written so many comments! I guess I had all these unspoken thoughts bundled up inside for years, and they were just crying to get out.
But if the suggestion of having a blog is a tactful and delicate way of telling me to stop posting so many comments, I'll take the advice. If I am the pesky pebble in SM's shoe, I'll remove myself (sniffle sniffle). I'll just write one more comment, and then that's it.
I won't start a blog though, if that suggestion is truly sincere. I don't have the slightest idea about setting up webpages, websites, etc.... My use of the computer has been largely confined to: 1) writing papers and articles 2)connecting to the Internet 3) writing e-mails, reading the news, doing research. I only found out what a USB was a couple of months ago when I decided I should buy new laptop since my 8 year old Toshiba laptop-- which had a floppy drive--was behind the times.
Hmmmm....famous non-fiction writer wisecracking female desi, well known across continents.
Shall we start taking guesses on who she could be?