Back in the day, I had an Italian co-worker who had the oh-so-Italian name “Enzo” coupled with the deadly, oh-so-Italian accent. The amazing thing about Enzo was that it didn’t matter one bit what was actually coming out of his mouth - the ladies in the office always had the same swooning reaction, “oh Enzo, say ‘operating system’ again. It sounds so sexy.”

Blech.

Despite having a pretty American accent myself (with an occasional touch of TX), I knew enough about how the world worked to know that one day, just once, I’d love to hear women swoon at the Indian accent. And on that day, my proverbial ship would finally come in and perhaps a few perceived ethnic slights would be righted. But, as Russell Peters once quipped, the primary thing the Indian accent is good for is cutting the tension.“The primary thing the Indian accent is good for is cutting the tension.”

The lesson? Enzo’s Italian accent evoked the exotic beauty, power and grace of a Ferrari the same way DesiTalk brought forth the rugged manliness of Apu.

So, the following commercial didn’t really move my meter much. TV Junkie that I am, I’ve usually got the boob tube on in the background while working. And, as a result, I probably get more than my fair share of 30second pop culture. So like many of you, I’ve come across a series of TV commercials for L’Oreal Cosmetics starring none other than our own Aishwarya Rai…

Exhibit A - an Aishwarya commercial for L’Oreal cosmetics uploaded to Youtube some 6 months ago and thus probably close to a year old. Listen carefully as she, dealing with the intractible tragicomedy that is life, asks if you too “Feel Like Your Dark Hair is Too Dark?” -

Clearly a voiceover. And a bad one at that. And, for now at least, I’ll direct our ethno-authenticity hounds away from the “solve life’s problems / lighten your hairSolve life’s problems / lighten your hair” message.

Still, there’s an important lesson to be gleamed — Aish’s Color / Clarity / Contrast / Symmetry highlighted by blue eyes might be good enough for America’s brunette, aspiring suburban diva’s. BUT, producers feared her accent would detract from the overall motif. Perhaps her voice was seen as an unanticipated touch of Apu where the audience was expecting Enzo. Oh well.

But waiddaminut. Let us observe social evolution before our eyes in less than 12 months. The latest series of L’Oreal commercials has begun to air with a decidedly different tone -

From the innocently posed inquiry “ready to transform your lashes?” to the bold call to action “dare to be daring” we hear Aishwarya and her [uptown / gentrified] desi accent in its raw, full, transformative glory. You, the tired, huddled, housewives of Des Moines with 2.1 kids could be her. In your aspirational dreams. With just the right mascara. Sort of.

Nevertheless, for a moment, let us recognize that while the political wheels of social equality get tripped up by Macaca-gate and whatnot, Madison Avenue appears to be delivering a certain type of progress. However, it’s a front many activists prefer to ignore, others consider inherently antithetical to progress, and some, arguably, wish would go away altogether — the mass market. Middle America’s dreams & aspirations. Wal-Mart’s feminine beauty aisle.

And what shall we call this strange domain? How about The Real World.

An interesting tactical debate for Afro-American observors has been the degree to

There goes the neighborhood.

which pop culture & the mass market (Michael Jordan, Queen Latifah, Oprah, Tyra Banks, etc.) lead the way towards true social acceptance vs. old skool activism (Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Cornel West, Jesse Jackson, etc.). Equality before the law ain’t the same as camaraderie with the neighbors. And beyond a certain point, the latter is both more gratifying and the ultimate goal. After Apu’s allowed to get a biz license, the next step is for him to be invited to the neighborhood BBQ & he then morphs into something more like Kumar. The catch is that while the prior goal might be secured via the vinegar of brazen, in-your-face tactics, the latter is gained by producing honey - something that other folks want from you.

Gay advocates similarly debate the delta between Will&Grace and QueerEye vs. QueerNation and their contribution towards the ongoing sea change in Gay acceptance over the past decade… For African-Americans, Gays, and other historically marginalized groups, both prongs have certainly contributed, but there are important lessons that emerge from trying to tease apart which was and is more effective today and moving forward. Important political lessons.

My opinion should be pretty obvious. But, back to more pressing matters. Legions of desi’s should brace themselves for the moment when The Accent is finally sexy — and that matters to my Real World. While Aishwarya’s undubbed voice might serve as a small step for commercial America, it’s a giant leap for DesiKind.