Early this month, we ran the first instalment of a conversation that DesiDancer and I are holding on the mixed-race experience: being half-desi in relation to desi cultures and communities, and being of mixed race in America today. In the first instalment, titled “Gettin’ Down with the Brown,” we discussed our relationship to desi-ness — the terms of our engagement with our South Asian cultural background, and the issues we’ve encountered in the process.
Today, in “Living the Mix,” we discuss the role of mixed-race identity in general, and mixed-desiness in particular, in shaping our experiences in American society. And as promised, the conversation reflects our take on the many fascinating comments and private messages that we received after the first post. And that’s where we begin:
Siddhartha: So, it’s been a couple of weeks since we posted our first Mixed Messages item. What did you think about the responses?
DesiDancer: I dont know what I expected, but I was really pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of honest and emotional comments, both on and off-thread.
Siddhartha: So was I. There were some themes that I expected, others less so. It seemed that lots of non-mixed folks shared quite a few of the experiences and concerns.
DesiDancer: I guess the assumption I had made from our previous conversation — that feeling somewhat outside the desi community, while being “in” it — was symptomatic to being mixed. Yet I think a lot of non-mixed people echoed the same sentiment. I never really gave it much thought, but I was interested to make that discovery as the thread evolved. Things like how we’re perceived in different situations, how things like “but you don’t look Indian” can be backhanded compliments, how people mentioned feeling uncomfortable in “desi” gatherings… I realized that it’s not just a mixed issue, and I think it raised some good similarities that maybe we’ve never explored, individually or as a Mutiny.
Siddhartha: And it may have been interesting as well in reverse: i.e., that some non-mixed folks realized that they have these same issues in common with mixed people. I was really touched by the commenter who said it inspired him to get in touch with his mixed cousins whom he had previously sort of neglected.
DesiDancer: Oh yeah, Neale made my day! I think a lot of assumptions are made about mixed or 100% desis and maybe this let us share a lot of similarities in experience and feeling, which only creates more power- - to know that others feel the way you do.
Siddhartha: On the one hand, it felt like we brought to light, in that part of the conversation, a place of solidarity — a hidden solidarity or commonality of experience, in which two sets of people with nominally “different” identities (mixed vs non-mixed desis) recognized each other. And it’s all about recognition. But on the other hand, while reading the comments as they came in, and later looking back at the thread, I had a few moments of, “Hey, what about us?” Like, we were sort of moving away from the specific situation of being mixed. did you have a similar reaction?
DesiDancer: I didn’t think about it until you said that, just now. You’re right. I wonder why, though? Are the mixed desis on SM shy to speak up? Is it a non-topic for them maybe, that doesn’t need open-door discussion? Is SM an environment that they don’t feel comfortable speaking up in? There are a few mixed peeps lurking around, and I was surprised a few of them didn’t ring in with their thoughts… We’ve talked in the past (you and I) about how being mixed is really such an individual identity — I don’t necessarily feel brotherhood to ALL mixed people — I wonder if it’s so personal and individually specific, that people didn’t feel the need to put it out there and discuss it. Meaning, maybe the validation or acceptance of others isn’t a factor in their identity.
Siddhartha: Explain that last thought a little more?
DesiDancer: Umm… I have a girlfriend who’s mixed (Chinese & Jewish) and her Mixed Experience is certainly different from mine, on a specific level— though we do share a lot of general mixed experiences. (The “what are you?” questions, the hybrid vigor bakwaas, etc.) But her interpretation of mixed identity is going to be different from mine, understandably. So I wonder — there are so many different variations of mixed desis on SM; it could be that our experiences and definitions are so widely varied that maybe some of the other mixed mutineers didn’t feel it was worth chiming in on, because they felt differently, or they felt comfortable enough with their own mixedness to not have a public talk about it…
Siddhartha: Im not saying that not enough mixed people commented. In fact many did, and we got quite a few more through back channels, who, as you mentioned, didn’t want to express themselves publicly. Either because they were just giving us props for the post, nothing more, or — and this is a whole other thing — because they did not recognize themselves in the mixed experiences that were mostly being shared. Which were, for the most part, desi + white mixes. For instance, we had a sister write to us who is desi + Arab, and she was not feeling recognition at all, from either community… or from the desi + whatever mixies.
DesiDancer: True! Someone had mentioned to me offline that her desi + Pinay (Filipino) ancestry led to an entirely different set of experiences and having both parents be minority was something altogether outside the experiences we mentioned. Yet she acknowledged that in this country, most people didn’t differentiate between her parents’ ethnicities. Which was an interesting point. I think the recurring feeling I found in comments, regardless of desi + X mixing, was a feeling of disconnectedness to either or both cultures.
Siddhartha: I agree. And that is not something specific to mixed-desis people. It’s quite common among people with totally different mixes. And so that gets back to the question of recognition. You mentioned earlier that you and your Chinese/Jewish girlfriend didn’t really share the same Mixed Experience. On the other hand, there is clearly some recognition that makes you relate to her. And you’ve also explored some of the resources or groups that exist out there for Mixed People. So I wonder where the recognition lines fall for you. In my case, I have to say that Ive always had at least a sense of curiosity about people with different mixes; sometimes that curiosity actually led to recognition, sometimes it was more, well, just curiosity.
DesiDancer: I think for me, other mixed kids were somewhat rare, that I growing up I did find myself often magnetized to building relationships. But now that I think about it, there were always mixed kids around, just not the same mix as me… While I was initially curious to all varieties of mix, I realize that I had more “kinship”, if you will, with other kids who had an immigrant parent (especially if it was their dad), than other mixed kids. Something about our parents’ generation and the immigrants during the late 60s and 70s… There’s a particular mentality that our dads shared, having had their own similar experiences. My Dad always said he came with 1 suitcase, 1 briefcase, and $1,000… and Ive heard plenty of dads give the same story, with varying dollar amounts.
Siddhartha: That’s an interesting point. Not just that it’s about immigrant parent, but that it’s the male parent who is the immigrant. That’s perfectly understandable — in fact predictable — sociologically, but it does set up certain gender dynamics. In my case too, it’s the dad who is the Indian, although he was really no immigrant — he only lived in the US for like, 11 years. But there is this very interesting question about what it was that drew our mothers to these recently arrived foreign, dark men in the 1960s or 1970s. And that is a major difference with people who either have the reverse mix (desi mom, non-desi dad) or for people whose non-desi parent is a person of color in the American context.
DesiDancer: Which gender dynamic and/or boundaries are sociologically attributed typically to paternal input?
Siddhartha: Well, I suppose Id leave that question to the specialists here… But my point is about the household dynamic, I guess, more than about the father per se. A household with a — how to put it — with an Already American mother and a Newly American father, has different traits than one with the reverse. Because it’s the non-immigrant spouse who is in some way a guide for the immigrant one, as well as having the advantage of local family, community and public resources. And when that person is the woman, versus when that person is the man, you get different dynamics, especially for families that formed several decades ago. And the decision by the non-immigrant partner to marry the immigrant partner has different symbolic, or even concrete, meanings. If the non-immigrant is the man, he’s making an “exotic” or “different” choice; if it’s the woman, she’s more likely to face a certain kind of disapproval — and she may well be fleeing/rejecting (consciously or not) dynamics in her family and community. Part of the attraction for a woman in marrying a foreigner is in not having to reproduce the family structure one grew up in.
DesiDancer: Interesting point. And a good segue to the next question I had: there was a commenter who mentioned that her brother looks more white than she does, yet his Indianness is rarely called into question, despite however he looks. Yet for women, I wonder if being mixed is something that raises questions; women traditionally being the culture-keepers and purveyors of family traditions… Is it more important for women to have a strong sense of their roots, at least in the eyes of passing on our customs, etc.? And are women more scrutinized for being mixed, as if it makes you “less than,” whereas men maybe don’t have the same socio-cultural pressures.
Siddhartha: On the culture keeper bit, I don’t know. I mean, women frequently transmit cultural knowledge, but some men do too — it can be either or both, or both in different ways. but your question about scrutiny is interesting. You are asking about people being scrutinized for being mixed — which I guess is something we heard a lot of in the comment thread, where people were talking about feeling scrutinized by desis-from-Desh because they were either mixed or American-raised. and maybe that scrutiny is harsher for women, I don’t know. that’s an interesting question. But it still gets back to this problem of acceptance — Im mixed, but I don’t feel fully accepted by this community that I feel I belong to, but doesn’t welcome me. And that’s a big thread of this conversation, clearly.
DesiDancer: I guess I’m wondering if there are differences in the level or type or severity of scrutiny, whether one is mixed and female or mixed and male… or if both men and women get it the same. The acceptance or lack of is definitely something that I noticed, recurring through the last post. I’d like to hear from some of the commenters who are mixING, in a mixed couple: how they perceive their families’ reactions and the reactions of their partners’ families, and what the differences are. I think the inside-outsider complex begins with how the parents are treated, as they build their relationship.
Siddhartha: I agree. I guess that’s what I was talking about earlier, that women who “mix out” of a community tend to be more severely scrutinized than men who do. I think that’s a question for the readers. With respect to the experiences of being mixed, Im interested in moving on a little bit from the “how to get down with the brown” aspect.
DesiDancer: Yeah. Now I want to hear how mixed couples and mixed individuals can bring more to the table.
Siddhartha: OK, so, let me try to focus this. I think we are in agreement that: 1) It’s the “down with the brown” aspect of the mixed-desi experience that many non-mixed desis also found themselves sharing, relating to, experiencing 2) There are other aspects of the mixed experience that might not be as shared/recognized by the non-mixed 3) One of these is what it’s like to be the mixer — i.e., the one who went outside the desi community, and by the same token, the other one, who went outside his/her community to get with a desi. And within this topic, there is much to explore especially with regard to gender — who is who in the couple? — as well as factors like when the mixing occurred — parent’s generation, or today? — and what the other race/community involved is. 4) And another topic is how we, the mixed desis, live our mixedness today — NOT with respect to “the brown”/Desh/desis, but with respect to living in American society today. our loves, our lives, our aspirations, our frustrations, our politics, if you will… Make sense?
DesiDancer: Definitely.
Siddhartha: So, let’s talk about that last point a little. I call it “living while mixed.” We sort of left it hanging earlier in the conversation. how would you characterize the state of “living while mixed” in America today?
DesiDancer: I don’t know— like I said earlier, I think the experience of living while mixed is so personal and individually specific, there isn’t any one way to characterize it… other than exploring to the fullest of one’s curiosity, then parsing out what suits you best, from your investigations and experiences. I couldn’t say that you and I, or Bongsy or Mr. Cicatrix or anyone who commented are living Mixed in the same way.
Siddhartha: So what is it that brings together these organizations of mixed folk? Like, you’ve referred to several such groups. I guess I should ask you what they are and what they do, and then what you think is the basis they have for bringing people together, if everyone’s mixed experience is different.
DesiDancer: I think the mixed-race organizations mostly serve to raise awareness for mixed families, whether trying to gain acknowledgements in the census or things like that, to simply providing a safe space where mixed people can discuss and explore together what it is to be mixed. It’s not structured to be a one-happy-similar-family, were-all-the-same vibe, but to nurture open discussions about what being mixed is or isn’t to you, what people see or experience… A lot of the inside-outsider phenomenon is generally similar within the mixed community, though perhaps the specific circumstances vary. I speak mostly about the organizations Swirl, New Demographic and Mixed Media Watch, as I have the most experience with them, though I know a bit about the Mavin foundation and a few other groups.
Siddhartha: What’s the Mavin foundation?
DesiDancer: They do diversity consulting, guest speakers, research & reporting… advocacy for mixed race families, individuals, multicultural and trans-cultural adoptions, etc. Anything with race diversity. They had an awareness bus tour last year (Generation Mix) where several mixed race young adults toured the country, they stopped at twenty college campuses and community centers, working with multiracial and multicultural organizations. And they blogged the whole thing.
Siddhartha: Interesting… So this gets to the point, that even though no two mixies have the same/similar experience, there is a sense that there is a shared agenda that can benefit all mixies. Something to do with recognition (by the census, by society, by school curricula, etc); but also something about connecting mixies together despite/beyond their experiential differences. There’s an underlying agenda here about forming solidarity, even if it’s not of the blood or origin type.
DesiDancer: Exactly. I don’t think mixed identity ends with these organizations, but they are a fantastic resource when starting to make our own definitions of how we feel Living Mixed. Having open discussions with other mixed couples or individuals, over time, fortifies our own sense of identity with being mixed.
Siddhartha: To be honest, we need to say here that the precursor and general model for “mixedness” in the American context is 1/2 white 1/2 black. Which is obviously heavily pre-loaded with dynamics of all kinds, many of which are quite specific to the black experience in America. When people in America say mixed, I think most people assume that particular mix, unless otherwise indicated. And it’s fair, in the sense that Im sure that it’s the most common of the mixes out there. But those of us who don’t count African American in our heritage don’t have certain extra burdens that those mixies do.
DesiDancer: Right. But as we know, mixed is more than just black and white, in fact there are people (like Tiger Woods) who are mixed of more than two cultural components.
Siddhartha: True. I have several reactions to all this, possibly contradictory. One, I somewhat resent the cooptation of the word “mixed” by just one type of mix; two, I respect that by identifying ourselves as mixed, we take on the responsibility of understanding the historical background of different mixes in American society, including/especially that one; and three, I personally have felt a lot of identification with mixed black/white people, even though that totally is not my mix. I have had many friends and some lovers from that group.
DesiDancer: While contradictory, I’d say I agree with you. A lot of the struggle and exploration of being mixed is the same, regardless of WHAT mix. And when people of different mixes can find a sense of solidarity or similarity, it creates more compassion and understanding, and strengthens us all, individually and collectively. Also, truth is, while in the US, “mixed” has traditionally meant black + white, many cultures around the world have their own words for being mixed: Hapa, to mention one.
Siddhartha: Good point. and desi-mixes don’t have their own term yet. Maybe we need to coin one… But let me get to something we’ve been circling around here. A bit earlier you mentioned the idea of being an “insider-outsider.” That’s a term you and I have used in a number of conversations we’ve had.
DesiDancer: And a feeling that’s been described in the comments of the last post, though not actually named.
Siddhartha: It seems to describe very much that mixed condition. The ambiguous belonging yet never totally belonging feeling, whether it is with one of the communities or the other, or even a third. For instance, I feel it to some degree with France, since I did grow up there, speak the language, parents still live there. In fact, in my experience Ive found that the “insider-outsider” thing becomes a whole mindset that I carry with me wherever I go. Im so used to being an insider-outsider that when I encounter entirely new settings (a new city, a new country, a period of time with people of a totally different heritage), that’s the way I come into the encounter. People always comment to me on how quickly I seem to be at home in a new setting. and it’s true, I am. But the other side of it is that Im never 100% at home in any setting. I sort of gave up a long time ago on “belonging” — although to be honest I don’t think I ever really sought to “belong” in the first place.
DesiDancer: Interesting. I’ve often received the same compliment about being able to come into any situation, with any group of people, and make everyone (including myself) feel comfortable. Yet I’ve also been told I’m somewhat aloof, in that I don’t give in 100% to trying to belong. I think I just realize that there are plenty of places I can fit into, but never completely, so there’s a degree of fluidity that allows me to move easily between cities, groups of people, situations and feel at ease. But in the end, the only place I’m entirely 100% guard-down comfortable is in my own house.
Siddhartha: Wow, very similar!
DesiDancer: And I’m sure it can’t be just us! I’ve just never articulated this feeling until you and I started talking about it, or in a conversation with Bongsy, a while ago.
Siddhartha: And if I can comment, from the way you put it, it suggests some residual discomfort: when you say that people sometimes find you aloof, and when you say that you rarely have your guard down. Those are negative terms, words that suggest the possibility of conflict, or that you are putting a certain burden of effort on yourself. At the same time, Im sure there are plenty of people out there who only let their guard down in their home, if even there. But I don’t want to have to live a guarded life. Having one’s guard up all the time is bad energy, in the long run. So that becomes a challenge we face — how to live authentically despite not “belonging.” How to relax, in a way…
DesiDancer: Not necessarily negative in my intent. I guess it’s just that I’m aware that there’s more to me than most situations can hold. I love the Diwali melas and stuff, but there are facets of who I am that don’t get fulfilled in that situation, for example. It’s not so much that I’m guarded (aloof is the word other people have used towards me) but that I rarely can be all the things I am in one setting or with one person. My very best friend in the world knows me like no one else, but she still needs me to explain certain desi things to her. I don’t begrudge her that at all, because she’s curious and loving and welcoming. But the fact is I can’t be all the things I am with all people. So maybe somehow in the back of my mind I know that there is always a part of me that isn’t being addressed or taken care of, so knowing that, I never can feel a 100% sense of belonging, because not all of me belongs at the same time and place…
Siddhartha: Yes. And when you look somewhere else to satisfy that other part of you, something else is lost, etc. So it breeds — at least in my experience — a certain kind of self-reliance.
DesiDancer: I think it’s the confidence in knowing that you exist outside of most boundaries, and not letting that threaten you, but strengthen you. Also, I think a lot of us may identify with other cultures as strongly or more so, as we do with our own (multiple choices). For example, I have Caribbean friends and I find the company of them and their families extremely comforting, often in ways that I don’t feel with my own cultures. Obviously every culture has their good and bad, but I wonder if being mixed kind of gives you a world passport in a way, a fluidity to relate to and appreciate other cultures more so, because you don’t entirely fit into your own. I may be over-romanticizing.
Siddhartha: I really like that comment. I don’t think it’s over romanticizing at all — maybe a little sappy… but I think it also translates a real truth. We’re just testifying about where/how we feel comfortable. I feel very much the same way around West African families — or in Africa, for that matter. But one thing I wanted to say is that Ive known many people of mixed background or other kinds of inside-outside backgrounds — for instance, people from the American deep south or west, working class rural folk like the people Branch Dravidian comes from on his white side — who can be very conflicted — some inside-outside people embrace that condition with its ambiguities and uncertainties, others do not. From way back, like in high school when I went to a public yet also partly private international school in France — itself an inside outside institution — Ive had friends and acquaintances who really, really, really, just wanted to feel comfortable somewhere. I knew people with ties to France and the U.S. who went back and forth for years — doing university courses and taking internships and jobs — in both countries, at the cost of doing similar degrees in both countries or having to revert to entry-level jobs — in search of “home.” And I know people to this day who struggle between embracing multiple backgrounds and wanting to “find a home,” and find these, at least in their experience, to be contradictory…
DesiDancer: I think it can be an uncomfortable or unnerving place to be: inside-outside. Not everyone feels it is freeing or positive, we’re conditioned from an early age to put things in boxes and shapes and label them, so when we find that we don’t fit into one ourselves, it can be very unnerving or raise questions of self-doubt as to “why can’t I fit in?” I could go off on a philosophical tangent and ask you, isn’t being mixed a bit contradictory in itself? it only makes sense that people who struggle between multiple backgrounds and definitions of self or home would feel a degree of contradiction in themself — it might be only natural…
Siddhartha: It’s true. And institutions always take time catching up to reality, right? So the lack of a census box, or the verbal burden of hyphenated identities, etc., are atavisms that put us on the spot (why don’t we fit in) when in fact, human experience always runs ahead of the words and institutions that come to reflect it… Even — or especially — the Dreaded Question, “Where are you from?”
DesiDancer: Or “What are you?” Because in a sense it undermines the comfort of being able to be put into a neat box or package with a concise label. Which means you’re different. (Gasp!)
Siddhartha: The regular desis who have the two-step iteration (1. “Where are you from?” “Wisconsin.” 2. “No, I mean originally” “India”) think they have it bad. What about us: “Where are you from?” “Um, it’s complicated, Im 1/2 this, 1/2 that, but I grew up in X, etc…” I can’t stand having to go through that rigmarole, it takes too long and I don’t want to blather on.
DesiDancer: Exactly. It’s too involved to give the whole family tree and points and dates of origin. 1/2 this, 1/4 that, 1/4 the other thing, one-drop something else. Parents came from X and Y respectively but their parents maybe came from somewhere else. Like if someone assumed your mom was French because she’s Caucasian and lives in France.
Siddhartha: Which happens all the time! “So which of your parents is French?” “uh, neither.” “Uh, are they diplomats?” “Uh… no. What century is this again?” Anyway, theres one other thing I want to raise in today’s convo, if you have energy for one more.
DesiDancer: Go for it.
Siddhartha: Well, I want to talk — whether now or in the next instalment — about how by even bothering to think of ourselves as mixed, let alone talking about it in public, and claiming the word “mixed,” we are inscribing ourselves into the racial politics of our country — in our case, the US, and for, say, Bongsy, the UK. I feel a lot of — I want to call it responsibility, but I also want to call it curiosity — about race in America. It’s something that I assume is relevant, and that I assume it is not only cool to talk about, but healthy to talk about. And I think that being/identifying as mixed pushes me toward that, in a way that, say, being “just desi” might not have.
DesiDancer: Oooh great point, and something that Carmen & Jen and I have spoken about (the co-founders of Swirl, ND & MMW) a lot. I think it’s when you become aware of multi-cultural, multi-racial identity that you start to see how much it impacts a lot of our daily life in America. Race is still a highly charged topic and the elephant in the room, so to speak. I mean, we think we’re evolved to a colorless society, yet statistically our schools are more segregated than they were before desegregation and the civil rights movement! How is that possible, rather how is it acceptable. In acknowledging my own multiracial/multicultural identity, it was impossible not to notice the color bar that society carries. I do feel a responsibility to be active, educated, and speak out about race issues. Not just mixed issues, but all issues of color. Because the fact is that we’re all one incident away from being the next racial scapegoat. Today it might be blame Afghans, tomorrow, blame somebody else, yesterday we blamed someone different… my point is this. once you see it, you can’t be untouched by it. because it’s naive to think it won’t be your ass next.
Siddhartha: Do you think that mixies who don’t have any African American in them nonetheless tend to have a better understanding of the legacy of racism in America than do non-mixies? Big generalizations in that question, but still…
DesiDancer: to speak in a generalization, probably yes — like I said, the tables could turn tomorrow and nobody knows what group is next. It’s a simpatico thing. Knowing that you could be subjected to the same wrongs, prejudices and injustices tomorrow, that someone else is subjected to today makes it a little closer to home.
Siddhartha: Hopefully.
DesiDancer: Yeah, hopefully. What do you think?
Siddhartha: Well, I think that mixies in general are more attuned to race, yes, but I don’t think it really makes them think seriously about race in America (whatever the outcome of those thoughts might be) unless and until one of their mixed components has really experienced systematic discrimination. So I think that someone who is part-African American, or part working-class Latino, or for that matter part “white trash” or “redneck” or all those words for working class rural/southern white people, is more aware of the full impact of race in American life and American history. If your parents or grandparents were the victims of segregation, or were interned in the Japanese American internment camps, or grew up to constant and casual putting-down by people in power, that’ll make them, and hopefully you, aware in a hurry.
DesiDancer: You’re right. I guess I was speaking more of myself than I realized. As far as the general mixed population goes, Id say: Aware of race, yes. Doing anything about it, not so much.
Siddhartha: But a lot of the anti-desi prejudice has been pretty mild — schoolyard stuff, Apu jokes, etc — not full-on ugliness that scars and limits your life… until now. Many SM readers are of the generation and class where their parents arrived as “desired” immigrants — technically trained, etc.
DesiDancer: So no oppression or hate, for the most part.
Siddhartha: But others are not. Not so far away are the stories of desis who arrived in the 1930s or 1940s, pioneers of a kind… Nor the stories of working class desis today, like the vegetable cart sellers of NYC, who seem to be all Bangladeshi… And of course, as they say, “9/11 changed everything.” Which it sho’ nuff did, at least in this respect.
DesiDancer: Exactly my point. If people haven’t been aware/sensitive previously, perhaps they will be now…
Siddhartha: And so with respect to mixies, I guess Im saying that your “typical” white/desi mixie has some catching up to do too… While at the same time, might be much less affected because we can pass. (How’s that for another ill topic?)
DesiDancer: Passing for White? Definitely a long future post there.
Siddhartha: We code white. At least to enough people. And I think that the typical desi/white mixie posited above, just like many other upper middle class, suburban etc., desis, doesn’t get the position of people who are mixed desi/other minority. Like the desi/Arab sister. Or desi/blacks, of whom there are clearly a growing number, but who don’t get that much love in our comment threads.
DesiDancer: Agreed. Or desi/Native American, another mix Ive met.
Siddhartha: So, lots of material today, maybe we should wrap. We’re going to have to make a note of the “passing” topic — save that for another conversation, don’t you think?
DesiDancer: I think that’s something in and of itself, and not so much what we’ve covered today.
Siddhartha: Absolutely. As for today, are you feeling more mixed now as a result of this conversation? Or more mixed up?
DesiDancer: I’m feeling pretty fortunate. I feel like there are more options and opportunities than there are hurdles. How are you feeling?
Siddhartha: Im feeling good. I feel like we covered some interesting ground today. Went to the heart of things.
DesiDancer: Mixed, or mixed up?
Siddhartha: Mixed. Mixed nuts.
