Well, I seem to remember being taught in med school that erection was something of an, er, equalizer in terms of size/breadth variation........

a world-traveler friend of mine would confirm this cross-culturally....

Some fun facts:
-The bird with the longest recorded penis is the Argentine Blue-bill.

-The barnacle is the creature with the largest penis as a proportion of its overall body size.

-"Whales...hold the record for having the largest penises. A fact which they never fail to mention at parties, by the way. In large Rorqual whales the penis can be up to 10 feet long, with a diameter of up to one foot." [link]

If you are a male living in a hierarchically organized social system, a gorilla harem for example, then copious amount of sperm production or a long penis does not increase your chances of producing progeny. Your ability to prevent other males from sexual contact with females, by force or intimidation, positively influences your chances of reproductive success. Gorillas retain a diminutive penis and testicle size. Human males evidence sexual anatomical characteristics suggestive of a promiscuous social structure (Wilson & Daley, 1992). There are exceptions such as the asian highly stratified river/irrigation cultures who have had a highly hierarchical, patriarchal, monogamous social structures for thousands of years (Miller, 1994). [Link]

In short, it isn't the size of your member but the size of the bat you use to beat down any dude that looks your woman's way that matters :)

The penis of the male tapir is very long when erect. The tapir has the one of the longest penis to body size ratios of any animal. The specimen of tapir believed to have the longest penis ever observed is currently on display at the Koenigsberg Zoo. [Link]

I've seen one of these. It looked like a fifth leg. I mean the thing literally swept the ground.

More details from TOI:

The ICMR had requested Indian Institute of Technology in Delhi to devise ways to measure an erect penis. "We had devised an automated system in which an image of the penis would be taken and the computer would interpret different dimensions," said professor of biomedical engineering, IIT Kharagpur Sujoy Guha, who headed the project. However, this was later discarded for a simple paper-tape that was found to be more practical.

Wow, that project would look good on any grad school resume.

Some fun facts:

size equals pleasure. NOT.

sperm competition. interesting topic, though i plan on never doing field research :) (no doubt some of you have already without being asked)

Well this is intersting! In defence of all the wonderful passionate brown men, its not the size of your wand, its the magic you produce with it! All the girls love Hari Potterjee.

From my very personal experience, Indian-American men definitely tend to be on the larger side. Perhaps its all that McDonalds?

Emigration leads to changes in diet and other health factors, which results in changes in body type.

Keeping the hope alive?

From my very personal experience, Indian-American men definitely tend to be on the larger side. Perhaps its all that McDonalds?

straight up, what's your N? your p-value less than 0.05?

In short, it isn't the size of your member but the size of the bat you use to beat down any dude that looks your woman's way that matters :)

What about aluminum vs. wooden? I'm insecure as it is, so I want to make sure I have the right equipment.

I admit nothing, but hypothetically, my N=10, across many different races. Although my Indian N=2, my conclusions are substantiated by what my friends have seen in their exploits.

Sorry to say, but your girlfriend's best friend probably has an idea of your dick size.

Something tells me this is going to be a very long thread

"Penile Length in the Flaccid and Erect States: Guidelines for Penile Augmentation"

Wessell et al. The Journal of Urology, Volume 156, Issue 3, Pages 995-997

FYI.

Something tells me this is going to be a very long thread

60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture

3 to 5 centimeters? while that may be interesting statistically, the real-world implications are almost meaningless.
in real space that is this much distance: |---|

honestly, that shouldn't make that much different in condom fit.

sigh. like i can post the bad-soft-porn version of the friday55 NOW...you know, there's only so much of this a girl can take.

Sorry to say, but your girlfriend's best friend probably has an idea of your dick size

But does she know about shrinkage

sigh. like i can post the bad-soft-porn version of the friday55 NOW...

do it! do it!

this is the most emailed article on BBC, and #2 and #3 on Yahoo News. God-damnit! this is totally reckless journalism

international standards

Go for it Anna, let Christmas Horniness run rampant!

From my very personal experience, Indian-American men definitely tend to be on the larger side. Perhaps its all that McDonalds?

straight up, what's your N? your p-value less than 0.05?

N=2; my indian father and my indian american little brother. And no, I don't see them when they p, so no p-value.

The small-headed boffins at the ICMR are in cahoots with the feebly endowed Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi! Clearly, now that we have the nukular agreement, they want to emasculate us! Spoorlam? Please?

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country

TGIF.

I desperately need Sin to weigh in on this thread.

if i buy a shirt in india, i am a large. here i buy medium or even small. there is something to it.

yeah...we americans are FAT.

I wonder if this takes into account that most people in india aren't tall as ABCD's. (no play on words here). I don't know if it is nutrition or what, but compared to my parents, I am like a giant, and compared to my cousins back in india, I just seem to be larger. (again NO PLAY ON WORDS HERE)... I don't know, just a thought!

yeah...we americans are FAT.

I guess the question to ask is how large are the balls. I once saw a thatha leaning over in kerala once, and the jewels peeked down from under his lungi. we got something going there i tell you.

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/061208/photos_od_afp/d94f1095cc44258a7afdafb8a81bc3c4

what are the dudes thinking = "shayad mera itna bada hotha"

Why do Indian companies have to follow "international" standard when manufacturing condoms. KS is the most preferred brand in India. But Nirodh is the most available. And i am pretty sure they are both manufactured in India.

condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. …

We are all South Asians now.

how much of the penis is adipose tissue?

bone, it's all bone.

indian men use condoms??

Why do Indian companies have to follow "international" standard when manufacturing condoms.

Something tells me this is going to be a very long thread

Are you saying that thread length is inversely proportional to that the desi d*ck? @=)

Spoorlam? Please?

He was right all along...the Abrahamics, leftist-pinkos, and Arundati Roy have stolen our saffron balls!! Only Narendra Modi can save us now!

you know, there's only so much of this a girl can take.

Y'know, there's a off-color joke that could be made in response to that comment, but that would be far too childish for me to do. Far, far too childish.

"As per international standards, most condoms are 150 mm to 180 mm in length and 44 to 56 mm in width. But data collected in Mumbai till 2001 showed that 60% of the participants measured 126 to 156 mm in length and 30% between 100 and 125 mm."

What is the sample size. Mostly these samples might be from people frequenting sex workers. People who frequent sex workers are mainly migrants.

Ok i hereby conclude this is a baseless conclusion made by some immature statistician based on samples from Mumbai ALONE. Come on. Then why do they put "Indian men". It should be Mumbai Men.

are we the smallest? :( :( What happened to "all men were created equal" and all that :)
How are saffron balls doing beneath the "peepal", I remember GNXP had something on variation in their size too? I don't remember the details.

look, i tried on a NIRODH condom for kicks once when i was 12 and was scarred for life. true i had not reached my full manhood yet but i tell ya those govt. manufactured things are HUGE! i guess the idea is to err on the side of largeness when in doubt. there is a greater risk of breakage/spillage etc if a small condom is used on a big ding-dong than the other way round. in the economics of one size for all
it made sense for them to be big. and at 3 for 25 paise (back in the day) people weren't arguing. but the thing was so thick that i almost couldn't blow it into a balloon.

These 60% of Indians must have forsaken the excellent Vedic practices that can enhance the dimensions of the lingam. Witness the Kama-Raja (Lord of Love) Herbal Penis Enhancement provided on the internets that
enhances release of metabolic energy to "warm the loins".

But wait! It is also made in Lubbock, TX. Because everyone knows, its bigger in Texas.

I'd be curious to know if the "test group" included any stars from Bollywood...

These 60% of Indians must have forsaken the excellent Vedic practices that can enhance the dimensions of the lingam.

I dont know why, but I read that as foreskin

have they done studies in other countries, including the ones that "set" the international standards, to see how many men actually "measure up" to those standards? and how is this international standard set?

We can always follow the reverse logic of women's dress sizes. We can just call a six the new eight.

I guess we need Taj Badalandabad now.

have they done studies in other countries, including the ones that "set" the international standards, to see how many men actually "measure up" to those standards? and how is this international standard set?

Exactly. look at post 39. According to slate they concluded based on findings from mumbai alone.

Y'know, there's a off-color joke that could be made in response to that comment,

well, i'm glad SOMEONE is paying attention.

Who sets the international standards, I'd like her job!

Then why do they put "Indian men". It should be Mumbai Men.

Phew, looks like I don't need to buy me a Hummer.

This is my logic:
* General nutrition has a important part to in human development.
* Since 35-40%of the people in India live in poverty
** Assumption, people in poverty tend to be malnourished
Question: How malnourished do people have to be before things are under developed
Even if there is some affect, this would skew the real average compared to the theoretical average. etc etc etc What is the median?

I think there is a case to be made that this can't be generalized to all south asian and is specific to India for the above logic. Perhaps this is a vain attempt .. haha

ovaltine, why don't see survey the local ladies with some N > 10 under their belt?

i think that the govt. of india should get the best statisticians we have (and we have many) hire a A-1 lobby group and put a spin on this and set the record straight. this is too wierd -- all of a sudden we're a nuclear capable nation with small dicks. maybe we have the deepest yoni's? come on we need something!

Siddharta said

I've seen one of these. It looked like a fifth leg. I mean the thing literally swept the ground.

or, we could survey the dudes and renormalize by dividing by 3.

i'll go first, i have a 21 inch cock.

well, i'm glad SOMEONE is paying attention.

I could write, oh I don't know, 55 55's on bad-soft-bookporn today. This discussion is such a fertile ground for all the bad puns that I have kept under the covers for the eight years since high school.

What's with all the Indo-centric comments? Shouldn't it be South Asian men? There's a topic that people can discuss across borders. Or does a Punjabi from Pakistan feel he is in a better position than a Punjabi from India?

Or does a Punjabi from Pakistan feel he is in a better position than a Punjabi from India?

foreskin counts, so don't count on it.

PLEASE PLEASE say it ain't so!

Or does a Punjabi from Pakistan feel he is in a better position than a Punjabi from India?

Excellent question. Research must be conducted immediately. Either Sin or I will get right on that.

Witness the Kama-Raja (Lord of Love) Herbal Penis Enhancement provided

ultimately, i think the point is.. the penis is not really a sexual organ - as long as there is the appearance of festivities, it doesnt matter if there is procreation or not.

Everybody knows- Size don't matter. It is all in the performance ;-)

3 to 5 centimeters? while that may be interesting statistically, the real-world implications are almost meaningless. in real space that is this much distance: |---|

oh! CENTImeters. i misread that as millimeters.

i stand corrected.

The diminutive Punjabi penis is lamented in folksongs sung by Punjabi women; I've heard them at mehndhi parties too (Amitabh, back me up on this.) Given that Pakistanis are disproportionately Punjabi, I would say they are in the same boat as the rest of the brownz. I will not speak to the Bengali dick.

This sucks.

Not only are we among the hairiest guys around but now we'll also be known as having small penises. Couple this with my extraordinarly long nose, and I've lost before the game even began!

:(

race & penis size.

It should be Mumbai Men.

Good point. Maybe should even be limited to the area in Bombay and the class, religion and age of those men. With no evidence whatsoever, I sumbit that the sample included a disproportionate number of Hindu Gujjus from Byculla between the ages of 20.5-20.6 who suffered extra shrinkage from all that Bombay pollution. They have NOTHING (zip, zilch, nada) in common with us well-adjusted, well-fed, far-away Americans (not to speak of well-adjusted, well-fed, far-away Indians).

Let the furious differentiating begin. Screw all that South Asian unity garbage!

ovaltine, why don't see survey the local ladies with some N > 10 under their belt?

or maybe your 21 incher is flat like a tapeworm and you keep it spooled up... har har har.

Forsake the Foreskin

"Not only are we among the hairiest guys around but now we'll also be known as having small penises. Couple this with my extraordinarly long nose, and I've lost before the game even began!"

hey, napoleon was short and reputed to have a very small penis and he's still a topic of conversation for other reasons, including bedding beautiful women. don't despair :)

desitude said

I will not speak to the Bengali dick.

This sucks.

:)

Not only are we among the hairiest guys around

No problem - I can vouch for this

Either Sin or I will get right on that.

;))

hmmm...maybe that's why the kama sutra is from india, to compensate for other "short" comings??

Not only are we among the hairiest guys around but now we'll also be known as having small penises. Couple this with my extraordinarly long nose, and I've lost before the game even began!

p.s. i am enjoying this thread majorly. keep it up guys.

FYI. Many local brands used to import condoms from other Asian countries. Govt. heavily subsidized them. Hum do humare do and all that. It's a family planning slogan for those not raised in desh.

Questions.

"The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers."

"Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre."

I admit I am terrible at math but isn't India's population around 1,103,371,000 and over 1,200 means what? Now the population being estimated around 1,103,371,000 obviosuly taking out women and children is there not still an extremely large adult male population? And could it not be possible that there is a generalization being made about the MAJORITY of Indian men? Or is there some sort of mathematical or statistical formula to calculate the penis size of the majorty of men using a sample size of say 5000 Indian adult males ? And does it account for a multitude of variables? Can anyone give some answers?

Enough with the length, can we move onto width/breadth/circumference now?

I just don't know what to do with you people. Foreskin totally doesn't count, the Punjoos are pretty decently hung, and most of the desi men I've been with tend to have been on the smaller side of my statistical sampling, but even there I've had some (un?)pleasant surprises. That is all. Anna and I will return with more in-depth (and lengthier) research later on.

I will not speak to the Bengali dick

I think one of my ex's said that to me.

Years back when I was in India, I believe it was Mysore and I was visiting the Mysore Palace (hey I am a tourist) at one point I had to sit down and put on my shoes, which they made us take out (I hate that, even when I have to do it at peoples houses!) and some local, instead of going past me, stepped over me, I chose the worst moment to look up, he was wearing one of those skirt things, lets just say that it firstly scared my fragile 19 year old mind, soap people SOAP, and also it wasn’t much to write home about.

What about the girth????????

Either Sin or I will get right on that.

A N N A, you are just digging yourself deeper

Findings may be average, but extremes are interesting too. If this dude knows what he is talking about: mumbai mirror (ask the sexperts)..there is hope for macacas!

ahhh here is the enrollment and the SOS of the study
:)

"length and width of the male organ in different parts of the country could help bring down the 15-20% failure rate of condoms because of breakage or spillage".

James, the original population size does not matter. The p-values (measures of how accurate the statistics are) depend mainly on the sample size, given that the population size is large enough. That said, the analysis is accurate for the bulk of the population if and only if the samples are chosen uniformly at random. The Bombay-bias is definitely an issue in this study. Kudos to the commenter for pointing that out.

If I were a manufacturer deciding on a one-size-fits-all condom size, I would pick a size to the right of the normal curve. So of course the condom would be larger than the average size (ahem) member.

he was wearing one of those skirt things, lets just say that it firstly scared my fragile 19 year old mind, soap people SOAP, and also it wasn’t much to write home about.

oh my god... :-)) I have a friend who had EXACTLY the same experience. Except that he got a whiff as well - and he says he still has nightmares about that.

(Amitabh, back me up on this.)

Desitude, I haven't come across particular songs like that but I'm not surprised they exist...but all these "naughty" wedding songs are just meant to be kidding around (I think!).

A N N A, you are just digging yourself deeper

and how is that a bad thing? DEEPER is good. if we can prove DEEPER, we debunk this entire clusterfuck. now hush, i am attempting to conduct very important research on punjabi males (indian ones--sin is on top of the pakistani punjabis) and i'm totally behind.

Oh Lord. Gawker is on the case now too. They are running an interview on member size with Ex-Intern Neel Shah. The terms "Taj Mahal" and "chutney bottle" are employed.

Funnily enough Anna, I'm totally behind the Punjabi males too. ;)

and i'm totally behind.

nice

ps. I am a punjabi male

it's been my experience that lighter-skinned south asian men are more well-endowed than darker ones.

and i'm totally behind.

:)
god, i'm regressing this friday afternoon...
there are so many ways we can intrepret this..
thanks for the laughs.

it's been my experience that lighter-skinned south asian men are more well-endowed than darker ones.

Troll alert!

Just to make sure that comment was for ANNA and not SIN..

whew!!

Not to worry. I'm also planning to be on top of this entire issue, even if that means I have to start with Former Gawker Intern Neel.

Funnily enough Anna, I'm totally behind the Punjabi males too. ;)

That actually means you're a top.

I'm not making any representations here, but remember that gorgeous gay word-of-the-lifetime, "versatile".

well... rasputin was rumored to have a giant dong. but later tests revealed it was a root of some kind.

are we having fun yet?

The terms "Taj Mahal" and "chutney bottle" are employed

They also use the term 'Curry Dick'. How charming.

i'm betting 500 comments by 5pm est.

it's been my experience that lighter-skinned south asian men are more well-endowed than darker ones.

Troll alert!

Sadly, not. I just checked the IP and this person is a regular, albeit a new-ish one.

Not to worry. I'm also planning to be on top of this entire issue, even if that means I have to start with Former Gawker Intern Neel.

Gawker Intern Neel is getting raked over coals because of this.

it's been my experience that lighter-skinned south asian men are more well-endowed than darker ones.

I have never seen or mmm...experienced anything that supports this!
Welcome back ChickPea, did you gather any data from India to support this topic? :) hee hee

Why can't India embrace vanity sizing a la Jean Paul Gaultier?

What do desi women (or gay men) think?

As a gay South Asian, I can inform you that this new study is lies. My personal research has demonstrated that my penis is larger than every white penis I have seen.

Sadly, they're short in other departments as well:

The average length of foreplay by British men was 17.44 minutes. This was 13.98 in India, below the global average of 15.78. [Link]

I'm not making any representations here, but remember that gorgeous gay word-of-the-lifetime, "versatile".

Versatile, eh? I believe the trendy new American jargon is top, bottom and switch. Tell us, daahling, which one are you? ;)

So how exactly is a standardized measurement obtained, given that the size variation between a flaccid and an erect member can muck with the data. Or is it an erection on demand ? "Khada karo ise!!!" Maybe visually assisted ? I need to find out how this was done.

I bet they scheduled a free porn screening in a makeshift theater with surveyors moving around around within the rows. Man...im gonna make a movie out of this someday where the surveyor tells his story.

"Bilaspur ka ling-naapak" (Penis measurer of Bilaspur)

Im sorry guys!!...its a Friday.

I don't hold with these newfangled terms. Especially BDSM-related ones! Some things are meant to be discovered, not discussed.

Well, at least not without substantial amounts of wodka and vine.

Welcome back ChickPea,

thanks CR

did you gather any data from India to support this topic? :) hee hee

;)...

Some things are meant to be discovered, not discussed.

Well, at least not without substantial amounts of wodka and vine.

It's a good thing there is an LA meet-up next Friday in that case.

JFC! How effin embarassing...who the #$%Z decided to release a press report thats so...well sensational. This just plain effin sucks. Some bihari suffers from baby #$#@ syndhrome and the whole subcontinent pays for it.

"Bilaspur ka ling-naapak" (Penis measurer of Bilaspur) Im sorry guys!!...its a Friday.

it's been my experience that lighter-skinned south asian men are more well-endowed than darker ones.

Quite the opposite for me, but I wouldn't dare assert that the way you just have; I know that my experiences are just that. I've dated North and South and the three men who thoughtfully kept Tylenol by their bedsides next to the Magnums were Malayalee, Tamil and Malayalee, respectively. The three smallest were from Delhi, Kerala and U.P. It's unbelievably stupid to assert that one region of India is going to be more well-endowed than another. There's a range everywhere.

I don't hold with these newfangled terms. Especially BDSM-related ones! Some things are meant to be discovered, not discussed.

Well, at least not without substantial amounts of wodka and vine.

Arrey yaar, we're all a little BDSM.

Based on my (unscientific) research, this is not true. At least not with the Indian-American species of male. The smallest I had was a Caucasian male, the biggest a desi male. And, of course, girls do talk, so I know that at least two of my friends have desi boyfriends who need the extra-large variety of condom.

Fear not my hairy, big-nosed desi boys, we girls know better...

whoa, 120 already. u guys got it up fast.

u guys got it up fast.

was it viagra or cialis?

whoa, 120 already. u guys got it up fast.

Of course we did, aren't you familiar with the "Rise of the Taj?"

Is this some sort of record for speed with which a thread crossed 100 comments? I leave my computer for a couple of hours and people are going nuts. A can of "worms," indeed.

was it viagra or cialis?

Viagra is the ED drug that is most preferred by Bob Dole... ;) (haha couldn't resist)

Or the thread could be a jar of snakes, depending on whether you believe the study.

brown pythons united.

howzthat for the name of a football club.

drrrttty poonjabi ;), we're on the same wave 'length'..

and yes, i call 500 comments by 5pm EST today...

don't let me 'down' ;)
or caverject use may be of use..

Guys, sorry for the minor threadjack, but I have a relevant question, given the fact that desi umm.. dimensions dont always match the caucasian ones, does anyone have a specific brand to recommend for condoms?

So, where does the international standard come from?

Probably why some of us macaca's worship the Shiva Lingam ;)

Guys, sorry for the minor threadjack, but I have a relevant question, given the fact that desi umm.. dimensions dont always match the caucasian ones, does anyone have a specific brand to recommend for condoms?

Trojan?

this explains the size of the kelas in US and the kelis in india

dimensions dont always match the caucasian ones, does anyone have a specific brand to recommend for condoms?

Are you asking about smaller sized condoms? And where are you located?

There is no way this is statistically accurate, between the sample size and the way people are self-selected in for measurement.

Perhaps men who volunteer to have their penises gauged have a harder time 'measuring up'? :)

dont have an answer to you #129, but there was an interesting discussion on the best condoms a while back. look it up for some brand names etc. all the best. rock and roll - in the original context -

Generally, I just go with the seemingly inexhaustible supply that they hand to you whenever you check your coat at Club Kali. I almost felt like I had something to prove by the end of my time in London.

Almost.

Guys, sorry for the minor threadjack, but I have a relevant question, given the fact that desi umm.. dimensions dont always match the caucasian ones, does anyone have a specific brand to recommend for condoms?

The one invented by an Indian of course. :)

Typical Indian men; totally consumed with themselves. ;-P

Now, let's discuss why they won't do what we women would like them to do in the bedroom... or not.

Ok, this is embarrassing..hmm, I am in the US and having some issues with the pill, so hubby and I need to go the condom route for prophylactics and are now lost among the myriad choices available, looking for direction..we are both desi..did not know before that it mattered while choosing prophylactics before, but apparently now it does..

How does this type of research even get funded?

Anyway, I uh, never knew this was even supposed to be a problem with Indian men...

now lost among the myriad choices available, looking for direction

Ah, the American-supermarket-breakfast-cereal dilemma now applies to condoms as well. Don't feel lost -- just try a variety on for size and see which ones you like best. No need to fret while ogling the colourful displays in the pharmacy.

It is with great dismay that I am reading some comments from female (?) posters talking about their experience with desi penises. I hope you all are not having sex with these boys. I am guessing you are married. Yes, that's the only possibility. Good desi girls wait until suihaag raat.

Ok, this is embarrassing..

ok peeps, help the lady out. i'm out. time to make some money.

#142: I hope you all are not having sex with these boys

Arey no yaar, they were only mens-underwear-tailors. Hence!

Quite the opposite for me, but I wouldn't dare assert that the way you just have; I know that my experiences are just that. I've dated North and South and the three men who thoughtfully kept Tylenol by their bedsides next to the Magnums were Malayalee, Tamil and Malayalee, respectively. The three smallest were from Delhi, Kerala and U.P. It's unbelievably stupid to assert that one region of India is going to be more well-endowed than another. There's a range everywhere.

I certainly wasn't "asserting" that any region of India was more well-endowed than another. I was giving my observation on this topic as it relates to other topics previously discussed in the same fashion that you shared your personal, yet quite opposite from my own, experience.

Comments should stop at 4pm. It's Friday, use the extra hour to wash behind your ears. There's some debunking (and bonking) to do.

Collar down is the new collar up.

Buy small packs of a couple different sizes and have him try them on. That's about the best you can do...

It's not JUST a measure of length. Sometimes even an average length condom on an average organ can be loose or too constrictive depending on the other dimensions.

http://www.indiansareasian.com/chart.html
Guess the "Have huge penises" row needs to be re-evaluated.

The penis is a sponge that gets filled up with blood -- it's not a muscle, bone, or hunk of fat. If poor nutrition is the cause, then it's affecting the size of the spongy tissue or how well blood can flow into it & stay there. From most penis size studies, it seems that the standard deviation for length is ~1 in., so malnutrition would have to deal one heck of a blow (...) to the guy's penis size to make it that much shorter than expectation. So I don't think this is what's going on.

The uncertainty could be resolved by checking penis size of South Asians in GB, who have first-world nutrition and are much taller than their parents (although these are mostly from NW S.Asia). If it turned out that there was something specific to the environment in S.Asia that made S.Asian penises smaller than in GB, I doubt it would be nutrition -- it would be the damage done by the basquillion germs endemic to the region.

use the extra hour to wash behind your ears

Or use the extra hour to metaphorically wash all your own mouths out with soap after all this smuttiness.

now lost among the myriad choices available, looking for direction

just try a variety on for size and see which ones you like best. No need to fret while ogling the colourful displays in the pharmacy.

right on...the only people who know what will work for them are the ones involved...try different brands/types, try male condoms and f