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GujuHottiee120586: wuz up, ho?

NjDe$iQTpie: who u callin a ho, ho?

GujuHottiee120586: watevr

NjDe$iQTpie: OMFG, i totally forgot to tell u!

GujuHottiee120586: ??

NjDe$iQTpie: u r gonna DIE when u hear this

GujuHottiee120586: wtf? if its that big a deal u wouldve texted me. u need to stop w the frapuchinos lol

NjDe$iQTpie: biach, please…im desi, its all about the chai tea latte

GujuHottiee120586: like thats keepin it real…such a dumb name for a drink..i mean…is NOT a latte

NjDe$iQTpie: N E WAYZ

GujuHottiee120586: hurry up…my momz like tivod koffee with karan and shes going to watch it in like 2 secs

NjDe$iQTpie: FINE. ok u know how ur parents wanted u to go to penn soo bad n u were all, “hellz no, i aint goin to college n livin at home” n they were all sad n shit?

GujuHottiee120586: yeahh. wat about it? fuuuuuck,i wish i got in a school farther away than columbia :(

NjDe$iQTpie: ha ha…rhode islands FAR

GujuHottiee120586: yeah, but brown isnt even a real ivy league school…so lol on THAT

NjDe$iQTpie: its as prestigous as columbia so f u

GujuHottiee120586: wtf, u have sumthing to tell me or wat…momz is screamin i’ll bbl

NjDe$iQTpie: fine. but jus so u know, kal penns gonna teach at penn nex yr. c ya.

GujuHottiee120586: omfg. OMFG. OMFG!!! ur so lying

NjDe$iQTpie: nope.

GujuHottiee120586: is this april fools??

NjDe$iQTpie: do u not know todays date

GujuHottiee120586: don’t u like have to have a phd to teach in college

NjDe$iQTpie: he probably does…my cousin ami went to MIT wit him..ill ask her

GujuHottiee120586: u retard…he went to ucla n ur cuzn took like 1 class there

NjDe$iQTpie: still…at least she knows him, unlike some desperate bitchz…lol

GujuHottiee120586: fuuuuuck. wats he teaching???

NjDe$iQTpie: hold on…ill find out

GujuHottiee120586: this sux.

NjDe$iQTpie: Penn will teach one lecture course, tentatively titled “Images of Asian Americans in the Media,” and a seminar, “Contemporary American Teen Films.” Each course will be cross-listed with Cinema Studies.

GujuHottiee120586: cross listed with wat? south asian studies/

NjDe$iQTpie: um no asian

GujuHottiee120586: thas wat i said

NjDe$iQTpie: as in asian american studies

GujuHottiee120586: that doesn’t evem make sense

NjDe$iQTpie: yeah…were not asian. duh

GujuHottiee120586: watevr, i so wouldve majroed in that

NjDe$iQTpie: lol…now u can major in being bitter…just think, some other desi ho is going to ask if she can get extra credit n that couldve been u lolol

GujuHottiee120586: this is so cepressing

NjDe$iQTpie: y cant u spell whenever kal penn comes up…r u that obsesed lol

GujuHottiee120586: this isn funny. my mom so said that i’d regret pickin columbia…n now I do :(

NjDe$iQTpie: lmao

GujuHottiee120586: stop hatin

NjDe$iQTpie: ooooh professor penn…i <3 u…ur my faaaave EVER

GujuHottiee120586: more like prof modi…daaaang, gina…dint u pay attention at namesake??

NjDe$iQTpie: which time…cant believe u made me sit thru that shit twice…so effing BORING. waaaah, my parents r immigrants, n im like sooo confused about who i am, i think ill date white girlz until i get wat i deserve from some desi bitch. then ill cry some more in some guava orchard b4 my arranged marrage with some chic in cheetah-print heelz who smokes which ill agree to bc now ive returnd to my rootz and shit after living with some widow n a bunch of lower cast peepz in the motherland…waaaaah

GujuHottiee120586: u seriously jus mashed together 4 bookz, u dum ho

NjDe$iQTpie: watevr. all sound same.

GujuHottiee120586: u mus be soo releived to b going to a school with no grades

NjDe$iQTpie: kiss my chuddies, ho

GujuHottiee120586: wonder if its too late to change my mind about penn

NjDe$iQTpie: kal or the school?

GujuHottiee120586: SCHOOL u hater. ill always luv kal…watch hes gonna be my baby daddy

NjDe$iQTpie: yeah, xcept i heard he wuz g-

GujuHottiee120586: OMFG STFU. ill ttyl when ur not being lame.

::

Thanks for the tip, Nina. ;) And thank you to the dozen other people who also sent it in, after you.