While eating my lunch, I received an email from a name I sort of recognized. Wait a nimisham…could it be?
Anna: The attached file is what I just received from one of my High School buddy (a Parsi) from Ahmedabad. Abhi told me several times how to link something and post it to your blog, but I have not done it yet. Could you please put this on your blog. It would remind all of us - in the aftermath of VT massacre - how important this message is!! ……….Take Care —- YO DAD
When my own beloved Father was alive, he asked me to do a dozen things a day: make him coffee, play his favorite MS Subbulakshmi or KB Sunderambal vinyl, read an Op-Ed with which he agreed passionately, see why the dogs were barking, retrieve something from upstairs, since he could no longer do something as simple as climb a flight…I am so ashamed and heartbroken that I often did these things begrudgingly, rolling my eyes and muttering under my breath or worse, sighing dramatically at the tediousness of it all.
Once, my father looked at me sadly and said, “One day, you will even miss this. You will wish for the days when I asked you for a simple cup of kappi.” He knew, because our relationship mirrored the exact same tempestuous, love-hate dynamic he shared with my Grandfather; he expressed his regret over what he couldn’t do for my Appachan daily. “You know, there is a certain pleasure one can derive from doing what is asked…” he said to my useless back, as I returned to whatever fashion magazine, phone call or French assignment he must have roused me from. I can still hear that last sentence, trailing away because I chose to leave and not pay attention.
Eight years have passed and not a day goes by when I don’t re-live that moment. I wish I could make you your coffee, Daddy. But I can’t. It is too late. What I can do is obey someone else’s Daddy, and pretend for a moment that snapping to attention and enthusiastically following through is how I always did things, when you and I know that I didn’t.
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Mutineers of mine…from what I have read, it seems like we are all reeling while poorly dealing with the senseless tragedy which commenced this week. Non-stop news coverage about every possible detail only adds to the stress and turmoil many of us feel. We all cope differently; my preferred method involves mindfulness, gratitude and love. The support of friends and family— that’s a potent cure for this malaise. I’ve been pensive about many things since researching and writing that post about Minal yesterday…the “message” that Yo Dad wanted us all to see is a large part of what I am clinging to during these bleak hours. It’s a powerpoint presentation and it’s available here: seven wonders. If you are so inclined, take a few moments to see it.
Thanks for thinking of all your “other children” right now, Yo Dad.
