Mangoes are sexy. They are great for a sensual body buffet.

What the hell is a sensual body buffet?

Exoticising! Orientalist!

Yay for the elusive desi mango!!! Btw, I tried that wacky cube slicing technique demonstrated above and had disastrous results. I'm going to go old-skool by skinning, slicing and then gnawing on the seed.

What “luscious, incomparable mangoes” you have!

Macaca please. We all know you use this as one of your standard pick up lines, Sid Uncle.

Yes, I get all my pick-up lines from the New York Times. Anyone got a problem with that?

Apparently, one of the companies negotiating to distribute Indian mangoes is Costco, which means: in the not too distant future I may have 50 pounds of irradiated Alphonso mangoes in a huge crate in the trunk of my car.

I wouldn't worry too much about cost: I have a feeling the mangoes willl start out costly, and then start to get cheaper as the demand builds up.

I get all my pick-up lines from the New York Times.
What a coincidence. I get all my pickup lines from the Times of India.

What the hell is a sensual body buffet?

I'm not sure either, but after reading the following, I'm cutting to the front of the body buffet line.

This facility, which has been used to keep onions from sprouting, is located 125 miles northeast of Mumbai (formerly Bombay), close to the prime coastal orchards growing Alphonsos, India’s most celebrated mango variety. Harvested in April and May, this “king of mangoes� has orange-yellow skin, smooth, fiberless flesh, and a distinctive, powerful aroma and flavor, with notes of almond, coconut, vanilla and citrus.

Macaca please. We all know you use this as one of your standard pick up lines, Sid Uncle.

I know what Bengali Chicks' is: "Hey baby, does your sensual body buffet come with a sneeze guard?"

in the not too distant future I may have 50 pounds of irradiated Alphonso mangoes in a huge crate in the trunk of my car.

Oh Yeah!

What a coincidence. I get all my pickup lines from the Times of India.

Don't the chicks get weirded out by all the pop-up windows?

Mangoes are sexy. They are great for a sensual body buffet.

I second that!

Wait is it just Alphonso? What about those yummy ones you can squeeze the juice out of one end like Italian ice? I forget the name.

Yes, I get all my pick-up lines from the New York Times. Anyone got a problem with that?

Mmmmm Mangoes, would you like some?
Hi I’m Alphonso, do you like mangoes? (Hapus if you are talking to a Marathi chick)
Man goes to show you how it came to be the king of the fruit!
I know the recipe for a fantastic Mango Body Butter, would you like to help me with it?

in the not too distant future I may have 50 pounds of irradiated Alphonso mangoes in a huge crate in the trunk of my car.

Eeeeekkkk don’t do that man. They’ll all over-ripen at once and spoil. You want to store them in cool dry dark places and ripen one one day at a time by taking them out in the warm light. Don’t you want to savor the mangoes one a day?

This reminds me of that scene in Bend it Like Beckham where Jess is at the tailor, and the woman says she'll turn "even these mosquito bites" into "juicy, juicy mangoes."

"I'm going to go old-skool by skinning, slicing and then gnawing on the seed".

its the best way

Got to say mangoes from India and Pakistan are cheap here and my Mum goes to the shops in Southall and buys some slightly over ripe ones cheap in boxes and pickles that stuff. Never had a Mexican mango, never have, never will, I don't betray my people and their mangoes just like that.

What the hell is a sensual body buffet?

People, sensual body buffet is a good time. TRY IT. I'm referring to 2 kinds.

(1) Party
-I was at a great party in SF where women (probably b/c they're less hairy than men) would serve as platter (naked platter). Gorgeous girls laid naked on the floor with delicious food. You could eat off the buffet with your fingers or your mouth. Sliced up pieces of mango, buttery, velvety and smooth are perfect.

(2) Only for you and your partner
-I recommend tying up your partner and blindfolding them and tickling their senses. Run various objects/food over their body. Give them small bites of taste in any creative fasion.

I know what Bengali Chicks' is: "Hey baby, does your sensual body buffet come with a sneeze guard?"

All fluids welcome at my kind of buffet.

Bengali Chick

What are you meant to do with the stones?

Like Ping Pong Diplomacy, this is Mango Diplomacy

This reminds me of that scene in Bend it Like Beckham where Jess is at the tailor, and the woman says she'll turn "even these mosquito bites" into "juicy, juicy mangoes."

Now you know why bengali chick's blog is called "manifest my desire";)

What are you meant to do with the stones?

I don't think you want me answering that question on this forum. I can think of a few things I would do with the stone.

Siddhartha has unleashed an aphrodisiacal mania with this post. Imagine what happens when you actually eat this stuff.

Personally I prefer lychees.

as my mom would say, might as well just go to india and eat them if they're so expensive!

Alphonso mangoes - the best kind - are the only food other than chocolate (and maaaayyyybe southern Italian clams) that fall into the Better Than Sex category.

Personally I prefer lychees

you need to try the #1 fruit of all time: mangoosteen.. #2 is lychee, and #3 is alfonso mango.

Better Than Sex category

Blasphemy!!!

Don't the chicks get weirded out by all the pop-up windows?
I got technology to stop that from ever happening. Built-in. They go "Hmmm... so are you export quality?" And I go "No, no. It's not like that."

Personally I prefer lychees.

Yeah lychees!!! We only get icky, canned, syruppy lychees here, mostly sold at the East Asian stores (and just recently at Trader Joes). I'd give anything for those giant vats of lychees immersed in water at my grandmother's house in Gaya :(

Just don't try to seduce your date with a durian.

Dear JaneofallTrades
What about those yummy ones you can squeeze the juice out of one end like Italian ice? I forget the name.

dusseris...in the north. alphonsos in maharashtra and dusseris in the north....the punjab heat is worth every mango you can eat.

sp

Just don't try to seduce your date with a durian.

Unless, of course, you're seducing a Malay.

The durian is said to be an aphrodisiac: when the durians fall down, the sarongs fly up, goes a Malay saying.

Personally I prefer lychees.

O h m y g o d m e l o v e l y c h e e s . . . Ok I'm fine now. I'm sick of the canned nonsense too. Might have to fly to Thailand one of these days. Does anyone know if we get these juicy wattery translucent fruit from the coconut tree called 'tadgola' in NY. Used to eat them in Mumbai, usually during the rainy season. You'd bite into one and water would squirt everywhere. Yummmooooo. I don't know if they are available here.

Oye what is Mangoosteen? Me want to try if it's #1 for the ChickPea.

Alphonso mangoes - the best kind - are the only food other than chocolate that fall into the Better Than Sex category

Oh hell no nothing is better than sex!!

Sonya Dusseris are the skinny long ones right? That are meant to make ras out of? I know they were different from Alphonso. Oh we used to have these mangoes called Payari mangoes in Nasik/Poona, they were as big as one's head and slightly tart but oh just heaven.

I thought it was the chausa mangoes you could squeeze the ras out of. Dussehris are more firm, flatter, longer and narrower with pale yellowy orange flesh.

Lychees are to die for delicious (but not better than sex). I used to get them in Chinatown in SF. The farmer markets in LA sell them too. I may have to settle for a lychee boba today.

Local Desi grocer says aam janata will have to wait for a month.

Lychees. I love lychees. I crave lychees. I still call them what my mom calls them ("rambutan", Malay or Indonesian for "hairy", I think).

Never really cared for mangoes much...

Oye what is Mangoosteen? Me want to try if it's #1 for the ChickPea.

OMG, mangoostan is delicious. Like lychee's fruitier, more fragrant cousin.

Where are the militant leaders of all things sweet and spicy? Have they nothing to say on this grave matter?

This reminds me of that scene in Bend it Like Beckham where Jess is at the tailor, and the woman says she'll turn "even these mosquito bites" into "juicy, juicy mangoes."

Actually Tamasha, it's from Monsoon Wedding, spoken by the lady selling the sari. Good line though.

This thread reminds me of Jeanette Winterson's brilliantly-titled novel "Oranges are Not the Only Fruit."

Mr Kobayashi, what kind of militant fruit leader are you if you can't get your mango facts right?? That was from Bend it Like Beckham.

Wrong Kobayashi, wrong. It was "Bend it Like Prince Buckingham's Legs."

Apologies. Mistakes were made.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Papayas that don't want to be mistaken for mangoes should try to be more like strawberries. Is it a good situation? No. But that's the world we live in. I don't like it any more than you do. You can't expect the average person to tell a mango from a papaya, it's just not a reasonable expectation.

Ooops. Wrong thread. I meant to make the comment here.

I wouldn't worry too much about cost: I have a feeling the mangoes willl start out costly, and then start to get cheaper as the demand builds up.

Indeed, though this problem will still remain for now.

Now is also the time for our railway minister, Lalu Prasad, to get right his Next Big Thing. Having lectured management students at Harvard and Ahmedabad on how he made the Indian Railways a very sexy brand, he may need to start a cold-chain express train which would zip across the country to help farmers fetch better prices.

Two years ago, the railway affiliate, Container Corporation of India, had abandoned its cold chain plans. The minister needs to revisit the whole thing, at least to start a wholesale train in partnership with private logistics players.

I know y'all are going to call me out for being biased, but you really haven't eaten a mango until you've tried a Pakistani one. Believe me. (And they do come to Canada, damn you, our neighbor to the north! *shakes fist at sky)

JOAT:I don't know if they are available here.

they are available here (ny/nj).. my mom gets me pounds of yummy lychees every year.. they should be coming soon!!!

So Alphonsos are here!..! !...by the time I figure out where to find them-- they weren't at Gourmet Garage or E*A*T... the langras will have arrived....I drool at the thought.

Apparently, one of the companies negotiating to distribute Indian mangoes is Costco, which means: in the not too distant future I may have 50 pounds of irradiated Alphonso mangoes in a huge crate in the trunk of my car.

Amardeep, you almost made me snort out my iced tea with that line.

Go go fighting mangosteens!

In Tamil there are the Mukkani (three fruits) celebrated since ancient times in poetry and prose and included in many rituals. They are Maa (Mango), Palaa (Jackfruit) and Vaazhai (Banana). Oh, the joys of summer of mangoes and jackfruit, the banana being ubiquitous and available throughout the year.

This guy goes gaga over the Mukkanigal in his blog.

Of course for ages poets have waxed eloquent over the damsels' breasts as maankanigal (mangoes) in countless poems and modern film songs in Tamil, so your and NYT's descriptions in such sexual terms goes well with the tradition!

I absolutely love that you posted this story, since my grandfather informed me yesterday that these mangoes have reached DC (which made it sound like a Desi Mango Invasion, so of course, being immature and all, I was thoroughly tickled).

Interestingly, my grandmother commented that she'd read a lot of people in India are concerned because sending these mangoes over may mean a hike in prices in India as well- has anyone else heard anything about this?

Oye what is Mangoosteen? Me want to try if it's #1 for the ChickPea.

i kid you not, when i say that i swear i thought i was in nirvana when i first ate these delicious pieces of heaven 4 years ago while in kuala lumpur..before then, they were only legend.. since my folks and brother tabouli had told me about them from a trip taken 2 years prior..

when we saw them in the market, my dad went to the owner of the cart:

poppa bean (or baba ganoush as i like to call him): we'll take 5 kilos..
me: what the hell is that? looks like a wannabe baby eggplant.
momma bean (aka spicy falafel): beta, it's the best fruit ever.
me: (skeptical)--(my parents grow everything from the alfonso mango to sugarcane in their backyard..they know their fruit cold)

we were back the next day, and cleared out the cart--filled our carry on luggage with these things and ate them in india...

on my way back.. i ehem.. smuggled accidently brought some into the states.. to share to scarf down.

the ones in cans are crap.
no fruit in a can is good.
canned fruit--no justice for the lovely being.

you must try the mangoosteen. (great article in the NYT--i think we might be getting some in the USA soon ;))
CANADA has them... you should ask miss neha about how excited i got when i got my kilos of the jewels.

they are pricey... i saw some in india a few months ago.. they cost 10 US dollars for 6.
gotta go to kuala lumpur or thailand for cheaper ones.

(okay, off the fruitbox)

Apparently, one of the companies negotiating to distribute Indian mangoes is Costco, which means: in the not too distant future I may have 50 pounds of irradiated Alphonso mangoes in a huge crate in the trunk of my car.

irradiated?
i'll radiate them for you.. photons, electrons or protons dear friend? you tell me your poison ;).
now my title will be radiation alfonso.

I wonder how this will affect the prices of alphonso in India and how much of good fruit would remain to be sold in local markets. Ohh and methinks the mango janeofalltrades is referring to in #31 is called totapuri, paayri is quite the size of an alphonso if not smaller.

Brimful, "Desi Mango Invasion" sounds like a retort to the whole "Marriage and Food" post.

brimful, I was wondeirng the same thing. Didn't that happen when basmati rice started being exported to the US - the local Indian prices skyrocketed?

JOAT, how can you have been deprived of fresh lychees and the knowledge of mangosteens? What kind of hell hole *is* the US? (tongue in cheek, tongue in cheek!)

Pah, Alphonsos. Give me a benishaan (banganapalli) any day.
The juice mangoes are called rasalus in Telugu.

You know, I am a big fan of the cubing technique but despite a lifetime of gluttonous gorging on mangoes, it was my non-desi husband who introduced me to it. My favorite, though, is the cup technique.

Oye what is Mangoosteen?

They're Israeli mangos. A Kosher delicacy. Bruce Springsteen loves them.

My favorite, though, is the cup technique.

teehee it sounds dirty.

actually as a kid..okay, even now...i still get a little out of control with the mangoes. i have to eat them in private or within a safe space otherwise everyone sees what a pig i am. they're just so darn juicy; i end up with juice down my elbows.

The mangosteen sounds suspiciously like the targola found in Bombay and one of the most refreshing fruits in summer though the tree is very different.

Is anyone else all hot and bothered after reading this thread? Dammit, I need a girlfriend. Preferrably one with...lucious mangoes. Juicy...wet...mangoes. Dripping.

Yeah. Time for a cold shower.

i dunno ... i'm perfectly fine with the mulgoa mango over the alphonso. seeing as how boring ol' florida mangoes are 10 for $10 at the local store, i can't imagine i'll be rushing out in search of indian mangoes. someone upthread was right -- will be easier to just fly to india for mangoes!

(btw, top 3 foods i couldn't live without: 1. mango 2. homemade yogurt 3. rice!)

Here are three of my childhood eating habits. Anyone else do these or is it just me?

1. chewing chicken bones to get at that delicious marrow.
2. wiping a thali clean with four fingers of right hand and then licking them.
3. sucking away at that mango pit until it's white and bald.

Thank you Shruti. Mr. Kobs, get your non-Bolly-desi film shiz straight. If there's anything I know, like in the entire world, it's those two films.

And Sid Uncle, depending on where you are, the durian can be the hotness. They're hanging out all ovah the place where I live. All that spikey-ness is kinda sexy.

the durian can be the hotness

It can also be the stinkiness. I'm just sayin'. ;)

B'ful - I hear you. But sometimes the smell of feet is... well, hot. What can I say? I like body parts.

3. sucking away at that mango pit until it's white and bald.

That is VERY bad for your teeth. Major wear and tear of the enamel. Of course, tons of people do it.

I can't wait to get me some desi mangoes, boyee.

One thing that slips under the radar amidst all the juicyness is that this was a deal worked out through a lot of hard work and negotiations between the US government and the Indian government --- this type of foreign policy issue, being worked on every day, doesn't get enough coverage or praise.

It amazes me that the writer of the story has gotten all the details of the importation and irradiation of Alphonso mangoes, but hasn't a clue that like apples, mangoes don't grow true to seed. That is, if you take an Alphonso mango seed, and plant it, the resultant fruit could be terrible. That's mainly why Mexican and Florida mangoes, suck compared to the best India mangoes. To grow the mangoes properly here, you need more than good climate, you need prized grafts, and good root stock. BTW, this whole issue of true-to-seed is discussed in a fascinating book, The Botany of Desire, which discusses how plants interact with humans:

Working in his garden one day, Michael Pollan hit pay dirt in the form of an idea: do plants, he wondered, use humans as much as we use them? While the question is not entirely original, the way Pollan examines this complex coevolution by looking at the natural world from the perspective of plants is unique. The result is a fascinating and engaging look at the true nature of domestication. In making his point, Pollan focuses on the relationship between humans and four specific plants: apples, tulips, marijuana, and potatoes.

Anyway, those mangoes look yummy....

Alphonsos may cost up to 10 times more than the plebeian mangoes currently available at your local yuppie food mart, tropical store or bodega. The pleasure of the Indian mango, it seems, shall be known by elite mouths only.

Aha, now we know why our parents wanted us all to be doctors! They were looking ahead to this day!

To milli, you wrote:

"(btw, top 3 foods i couldn't live without: 1. mango 2. homemade yogurt 3. rice!)"

I agree with you 100%. I recently discovered that those 3 combined are absolutely fantastic.

Brimful, do you know where in DC desi mangos are available? I'll be there on business next week.

Is anyone else all hot and bothered after reading this thread?

I got comment # 69...niiiiiiiice

Brimful, "Desi Mango Invasion" sounds like a retort to the whole "Marriage and Food" post.

I think "Desi Mango Invasion" would be a good name for an all desi girl band.

has anyone picked these up in NYC yet? if so, where?

No, but apparently Pres. Bush's batch arrived, straight from India (via Raghubir Goyal). [thanks to the poster on the news tab]

There's an Indian Mango festival planned in DC, btw. Supposedly some time in June. Mmmm, mangos.

(Link)

i never knew mangoes were so high in sugar. so let's see. indians have a high diabetes incident rate? hmmmm. maybe too much mango lowe.

er, incidence

Banganapalli Mangoes are mentioned just once(#54) ...WTF(where) is WTF??? :)