When we 55 each week, it’s usually because I have looked to my iPod for inspiration; I try and choose a meaningful song with which to name our Flash Fiction orgies and yes, it’s almost guaranteed that whatever I select once aired on 120 Minutes.
However, on this freaky Friday, like most of you, I’ve got a screaming/crying blonde on the brain. It seems apposite to use one of her shitty songs, in honor of all this justice she got served. Welcome to “Screwed”, from her eponymously named album which is chock full o’ Scott Storch-tainted crap. Perhaps they should make Miss Hilton listen to it in prison, 24/7, as part of her rehabilitation…I know after 30 seconds of each song, I was clawing off my headphones while vowing to never misbehave again. It’s THAT painful.
The lyrics to “Screwed” (heh) are below the jump. Don’t expect much from them. Wait, what am I saying, you are all too bright for that…though if you’re anything like me, you’ll giggle at the thought that the words “I’m screwed” are repeated eight times (ah, there’s the reason for our title). Perhaps she was humming them to herself in the police car?
No matter, on this Fast Fiction Friday, write 55 words about heiresses, anything Paris’s or what’s fairest. Ignore our topic and write about other stuff, too, as long as you do so with exactly 55 words, since that’s what nanofiction is all about. Not sure how to play? Lookie here:
A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
1. Fifty-five words exactly(A non-negotiable rule)
2. A setting,
3. One or more characters,
4. Some conflict, and
5. A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
Many new versions of the 55 Fiction have started to modify on the rules by either ignoring to include conflict, or basing it on a true incident and dramatising it. [wiki]
Having copied and pasted all that, in celebration of today’s delicious victory for right over pink-clad evil, you haiku-freaks can get down, too. Same rules for you, just fit your genius in three lines of carefully-counted syllables.
Finally, if you’re wondering what’s up with our visual aid— it’s from an episode of South Park which aired in December of 2004. “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset” was hilarious (and it really was the name of the show, so you can’t yell at me for the caption…that’s what I meant by the asterisk, not that you had any way of guessing that):
Hilton presents herself as “totally spoiled and snobby” and “a whore”, according to onlookers, and announces the opening of a store called “Stupid Spoiled Whore” in South Park. The girls enter and discover, among other things, lewd clothing and a perfume titled “Skanque”. Wendy is appalled by the blatant objectification of women. As Paris drives away in her limo, her small pet dog, in a fit of depression, pulls out a gun and commits suicide. Paris shrieks that “it happened again! Another dog killed itself!” The limo driver himself appears less than surprised.
Later that day, Wendy goes over to a friend’s house and is quickly confronted with the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset, a partial reference to the Paris Hilton Sex Tape scandal that occurred several months prior. The kit takes jabs at Hilton by describing its contents as including “a night vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy!” Meanwhile, Hilton is in fits over the suicide of her dog, Tinkerbell. In her throes of sorrow, she sees Butters, puts him in a bear costume and demands that he come with her as her replacement pet, naming him “Mr. Biggles”. [wiki]
………………………………….
Screwed by Paris Hilton
I’m Screwed (8x)
Please don’t let it begin
You’re under my skin
Same old story
Boy meets girl and she falls much harder than him
Baby, where’s the glory
If all night, all night, you’re attention’s not mine
Please don’t let it begin
You’re under my skin
It’s a sin cause you’re starting to win
Since I’m already screwed
Here’s a message to you
My heart’s wide open
I’m just getting through to the lover in you
Yet I’m still hoping
That tonight, tonight, you’re gonna turn down the lights
And give me a little more room just to prove it to you
What do I gotta do?
Just push her aside
She’s not your type
So cliché when a boy falls under the spell
Of a woman from hell
It’s hard to take cause
Tonight, tonight, you could have found out I might
Have been the girl of your dreams
Baby, you might have seen what it means just to really be free
Since I’m already screwed
Here’s a message to you
My heart’s wide open
I’m just looking through to the lover in you
Yet I’m still hoping
That tonight, tonight, you’re gonna turn down the lights
And give me a little more room just to prove it to you
What do I gotta do?
Tell me that you do
Tell me that you do
Tell me that you wanna take my number
There will come a day
An easy day in May or a storm in mid December
When you need someone just to have a little fun
I could be the perfect girl for you
When you need someone just to have a little fun
I could be the perfect girl for you to ruin
