and this has also been a big headache for Chowdhury.

That is another way for women to protect themselves from being infected by their husbands.

Please be covering up, thank you, come again”. (Oh, like you could have resisted that last bit…it’s Rahul’s influence, I tell you.)

A N N A, thank you for the flattery - I am indeed the gift that keeps on giving, but there was no need for you to throw salt on my game by outing our clandestine rendezvous on such a public forum. The only way you could've done worse would've been to txt it to Paris' Sidekick.

a move to introduce sex education at the school level has been net with stiff resistance from many

Rahul, thought you'd be all over this one too...

Rahul, thought you'd be all over this one too...

Why bother? I was already on top of it. Hee!

Rahul, thought you'd be all over this one too...

What can I say, I am the generous giving type who likes to make sure everybody involved is satisfied. But since you ask...

Instead of imparting sex education to school students, they will be taught yoga.

Well, I believe the Indian housewife has been practicing shavasana for many generations.

a move to introduce sex education at the school level has been net with stiff resistance from many politicians, with several state governments opposing it saying it will go against Indian culture

Because of its advocacy of the missionary position*?

* This comment inspired by the title of this post (blame A N N A) and the discussion on the Zed thread.

Shvanasana, not Shavasana.....

Well, I believe the Indian housewife has been practicing shavasana for many generations

'Thappal' has one participant (normally male) as an active participant while the other participant (normally female) is a passive. It is called sex in a marriage.

Rahul, why this bleak assessment of desi conjugal relations? Do desi men not have skillz? Or do you think brown chicks lack passion because of our, er, missionary school priors?

I suspect NuRF girl could really change your mind about this. Just pop the question already.

Rahul, why this bleak assessment of desi conjugal relations? Do desi men not have skillz? Or do you think brown chicks lack passion because of our, er, missionary school priors?

portmanteau, all I know about desi conjugal relations, I learnt from Monsoon Wedding.

Wow , are we all feeling good about ourselves now that we have snarked all over desi married couples and their boring sex lives when compared to the amazing lives that we all have?

Wow , are we all feeling good about ourselves now that we have snarked all over desi married couples and their boring sex lives when compared to the amazing lives that we all have?

Runa, I personally find that there's nothing more satisfying on a Friday evening than sitting in front of my computer and exchanging comments with other anonymous nom-de-plumes on the Internet.

What can I say, I am the generous giving type who likes to make sure everybody involved is satisfied.

ah, so you're saying Rahul is really shorthand for Rahoooool.

Talking about sex education in Indian schools, wonder if anyone else remembers those excellent text books by Professor Mastram?

I've always tried to live up to the UPS motto: What can brown do for you?

The onus lies on WOMEN? What, like we don’t already have enough to do? Chey! OUR TO-DO LISTS NEVER END!

And that was the only thing you found wrong in that statement? And what of this -

Men can't be trusted and everyone knows this,� she said adding with due apologies and exemptions to the current company - most husbands can’t be trusted at different levels. They stay away from home for work purposes for long periods, often falling prey to temptation and then making their wives also victims.

Considering she is a minister, though that for Womens welfare, making such blanket statements is absolutely wrong on her part. 'Everyone knows men cannot be trusted' - give me a break. Instead of being a blanket feminist painting everything in black and white she should be doing better and talking a little more sense. But then this is the same Renuka Chaudhury who released this report, a report which though sensationalist in terms of the 'facts discovered' did little to figure out where children were being abused and how t tackle the issue because it clearly stated

The design primarily aimed at collecting data on trends that were indicative without going in-depth into the causes leading to the abuse.

The facts discovered could have also been easily skewed due to improperly distributed sampling of data since

The questionnaire did not ask relevant questions pertaining to socio-economic profile of respondents and neither was the rural-urban divide clear. As a result correlations could not be established on the basis of socio-economic profile or rural-urban divide.

Of course the great Indian media never questioned these issues in the report.

Coming back to the point, yes the probability of men cheating is higher due to greater access to sex workers etc in the poorer socio-economic domain. But she can do better than that when it comes to making PC statements.

But then Indian politicians are not always PC, are they!

The onus lies on WOMEN? What, like we don't already have enough to do? Chey! OUR TO-DO LISTS NEVER END!

And that was the only thing you found wrong in that statement? And what of this -

It was filed under humor. HUMOR. There are Smiths lyrics, a Snoop Dogg album cover and a reference to Rahul, all in the same post. That's all wrong, and yet, so very right.

thank you, come again

It would still make a great tattoo across someone's lower back.

By the way a recent study of several African countries found that women were nearly as responsible for spreading HIV as men. In several countries women were up to 60% of the carriers. So, while it is easy to blame men, it is also possible that women are responsible for spreading the disease. When I find the article I will post it here.

Here's a link to a blog with part of that article

Arjun,

I'm afraid the link didn't show up. Could you repost it? Thanks.

this website used to be good, now when i come here, i keep seeing these kinda rubbish... i hardly spend more than 2 min here now. whatz goin on? i mean, India just had her first woman President but someone would rather be discussing rubbers?

maybe the first woman president should start discussing rubbers.

this website used to be good, now when i come here, i keep seeing these kinda rubbish... i hardly spend more than 2 min here now. whatz goin on? i mean, India just had her first woman President but someone would rather be discussing rubbers?

First off, this isn't your mommas house (or for that matter mine).

Personally, India's first woman president is a big joke. If you want to discuss it, there are lots of other places for you to do it. This is a second generation Indian American blog, I am not sure that they have to cover everything that tickles your fancy. If you think they should cover something, how about sending them a tip or using the news tab?

Finally, if you did spend even 30 seconds here, you would remember that the hard working bloggers are taking a break here at SM. How about we cut them some slack and be a little more polite.

I think Renuka is just giving a very practical advice. Its easy for us "upper middle class" people to laugh at this but its quite a different thing if u are the wife of a truck wallah, unable to get out of the marriage and very much in danger of contaminating HIV and passing it on to your children. A social worker ,who has been working on the same theme ,told me that despite the inherent contradiction in the message, this has proven to be the most effective defense against HIV spread as they have learnt in the field. She also told me a very interesting fact - The villagers understood the practicality of this (both men and women) and it always led to a healthy and open discussion. The "middle class" people , however, would just be very snobby about this and took it as a personal attack. Middle class women, she added, are at a greater risk because they can't force their husbands to wear condoms . Bottomline is that u better be absolutely sure that u trust your partner, otherwise insist on condoms.

I've always tried to live up to the UPS motto: What can brown do for you?

jay, so what exactly can brown do for me?

i do see RC's point, but i wish she had phrased things differently - i.e. basically said something else. plus, i'm interested to see the article to which arjun referred. but i'm glad she is focusing on sex ed - it's one of the only ways that is going to change people's attitude, and make the subject less taboo so taking precautions is easier and more informed. i just hope the sex ed does not include gross (and inaccurate) generalizations - besides RC's, i can think of many, many others that would abound in a desi setting.

rahul, this must be an SM milestone for you.

vinay, i would actually take the view that discussing contraception and sex ed in india is much more important than discussing the mere fact that a female president has been elected, particularly this president.

Personally, India's first woman president is a big joke

Please clarify what you mean by that.

Men can't be trusted and everyone knows this,� she said adding with due apologies and exemptions to the current company - most husbands can’t be trusted at different levels. They stay away from home for work purposes for long periods, often falling prey to temptation and then making their wives also victims.

Considering she is a minister, though that for Womens welfare, making such blanket statements is absolutely wrong on her part. 'Everyone knows men cannot be trusted' - give me a break. Instead of being a blanket feminist painting everything in black and white she should be doing better and talking a little more sense.

Prove her wrong in this regard.

The onus on birth and disease control even in the west still lays primarily on women. In India it lays with them even more so. Renuka is spot on with this.

There are Smiths lyrics, a Snoop Dogg album cover and a reference to Rahul, all in the same post. That's all wrong

The mention of the Smiths and Rahul in the same sentence is guaranteed to send Morrissey into another fit of mordant, dolorous navel-gazing. And that might not be a bad thing.

Although what is with this Johnny Cochranesque exculpatory invocation of Rahul. "When the post text contains the word 'Rahul', if you expect sense, you must be a fool."

rahul, this must be an SM milestone for you.

One small step for (*crackle, crackle*, no "a") Rahul, a giant leap backward for SM.

Personally, India's first woman president is a big joke

Please clarify what you mean by that.

I didn't make the original statement, but I think the selection of Pratibha Patil is a throwback to the "good old days" of abject Congress loyalists being chosen for the position independent of their qualifications. It reminds me of the cartoon in an Indian newspaper right around the time of the emergency which showed the then president, Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, unquestioningly signing Indira Gandhi's bills (diktats) when he was in the bathtub. She might end up distinguishing herself eventually, but her comments on sterilization, the claim of divine prediction of her presidential ascendancy by some godman, and the number of scams she has been associated with do not give me much reason for hope.

"Prove her wrong in this regard.

The onus on birth and disease control even in the west still lays primarily on women. In India it lays with them even more so. Renuka is spot on with this."

You sound almost like an evangelist. You also made a statement without any proof. You can also be asked to proove that "
The onus on birth and disease control even in the west still lays primarily on women. In India it lays with them even more so."

hrowback to the "good old days" of abject Congress loyalists being chosen for the position independent of their qualifications

You sound almost like an evangelist. You also made a statement without any proof. You can also be asked to proove that

Talk to any sex worker or social worker in India. They will tell you just how eager or co-operative men are when it comes to wearing condoms. Kapish?

I didn't make the original statement, but I think the selection of Pratibha Patil is a throwback to the "good old days" of abject Congress loyalists being chosen for the position independent of their qualifications. It reminds me of the cartoon in an Indian newspaper right around the time of the emergency which showed the then president, Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, unquestioningly signing Indira Gandhi's bills (diktats) when he was in the bathtub.

Fair comment.

Still the only president in Indian history to have done anything useful was the archetypical lapdog Zail Singh, when he unexpectedly developed a backbone after Indira Gandhi went shaheed, and stood up for the freedom of the press in India against her son and his noxious sidekick K.K. Tewary. People change.

I am personally disinclined to think, though, that a vapid auntieji like Pratibaben who talks to spirits and generally seems to embody all that is retrograde and unadventurous in India would have the guts and integrity hiding deep inside her to change in that way.

The onus on birth and disease control even in the west still lays primarily on women. In India it lays with them even more so. Renuka is spot on with this.

As disease and unintended births can equally screw up a man and woman's life, the responsiblity should be shared.

As disease and unintended births can equally screw up a man and woman's life, the responsiblity should be shared.

with disease i agree. with unintended birth the consequences arent always equal. A lot of times the guy can just ditch, and the grl is stuck holding the bag.

A lot of times the guy can just ditch, and the grl is stuck holding the bag.

True, but any reasonable man would feel some kind of "I've screwed up" sentiment, but yes, I've said women indeed do have a larger investment (physically for sure, maybe even mentally) which could contribute to differences in how each group perceives and deals with sexual intercourse.

I am personally disinclined to think, though, that a vapid auntieji like Pratibaben who talks to spirits and generally seems to embody all that is retrograde and unadventurous in India would have the guts and integrity hiding deep inside her to change in that way.

Talking to spirits is unadventurous???

As disease and unintended births can equally screw up a man and woman's life, the responsiblity should be shared.

I agree they should be shared, but oftentimes they are not. Thus, Renuka is advising women to arm themselves under any circumstance.

I agree they should be shared, but oftentimes they are not. Thus, Renuka is advising women to arm themselves under any circumstance.

Then we're in agreement, her advice is positive, but doesn't supplant shared responsibility.

True, but any reasonable man

not every man is "reasonable" when the pants come off.

man would feel some kind of "I've screwed up" sentiment

..and meanwhile, the woman feels very pregnant.

..and meanwhile, the woman feels very pregnant.

#34: but yes, I've said women indeed do have a larger investment (physically for sure, maybe even mentally) which could contribute to differences in how each group perceives and deals with sexual intercourse.

RIF