This was utterly shameless.

Incredibly sad. May she be happy and at peace wherever she may be.

>>If anyone hears news regarding the worthless family who did this despicable deed, please...

...socially boycott the jerks.

>>how the TN government proceeds with this tragic case.

The TN government should not get involved. This is not a legal issue (unless the grandma owned the house she was thrown out of) - it's a social problem.

M. Nam

MoorNam, I hear you, I was thinking of this part of the article:

The Chennai state government has promised an investigation and action against the dead woman's family.

I just want to know what happens next, whether social or legal.

This is not a legal issue (unless the grandma owned the house she was thrown out of) - it's a social problem.

I think it's hybrid of both. It is one thing if they had asked her to leave / taken her to a retirement community, it's another thing when they tried to dump her in garbage (Intent to kill / hurt?) No?

And if we all say it's a social issue and throw our hands up in the air, where is the solution?

The TN government should not get involved. This is not a legal issue (unless the grandma owned the house she was thrown out of) - it's a social problem.

This could be a legal issue; apparently falls under domestic violence act

Last paragraph
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6907269.stm

"But she said the law was clear and if children did not take responsibility for looking after their old parents they could be in breach of the domestic violence act and prosecuted."

Isn't the legal system in India fvcked up? Even if TN takes action it will take years before they go to trial right?

Isn't the legal system in India fvcked up? Even if TN takes action it will take years before they go to trial right?

It's messed up throughout India. But politicians love this sort of thing and will run this through the legal system ahead of the many murder cases that have been languishing for years. Motherhood is huge everywhere, but it is particularly huge in Tamil Nadu where the virtue of motherhood and obedient children seems to be 50% of the content of the Thirukkural, hands down the most popular/most quoted book in the Tamil language. Social boycotting is a given

Isn't the legal system in India fvcked up? Even if TN takes action it will take years before they go to trial right?

We can only create laws and hope that kids of the future will follow it. I mean look at the whole dowry thing, although there is a law, certain people will never get it and then there are people who were against dowry to being with. In either case, it has created an awareness.

I missed the original discussion, but just wanted to share with you that 90% of the families in my neighborhood (in the US) have 3 generations living together. I know it's an anomaly.

It is a legal issue, allright. Why did they not just remain content with dumping her at some hospital? Did they have to make her endure being in a garbage dump? What were tehy doing? Trying to be nice lil environmentalists by recycling her body which they hoped would decompose at some point?

Definitely domestic violence, and probably criminal neglect too!

>We can only create laws and hope that kids of the future will follow it.

I hope that's not all we can do. You're right that creating awareness is key... the Indian feminist movement is doing some amazing work around domestic violence. Here in the US we still don't have laws declaring women equal, but some huge strides have been made anyway because women fought back. This particular paatti, rest her soul, can't, but I hope that more people will fight on her behalf.

The TN government should not get involved. This is not a legal issue (unless the grandma owned the house she was thrown out of) - it's a social problem.

A garbage dump sounds like govt property. If they dumped a disabled lady on govt property, that seems like a prosecutable offense to me.

"Isn't the legal system in India fvcked up"

Please do not make general statements without proper evidence. Sure some courts in some districts are choked up, but to say that the whole legal system is fucked up is entirely wrong

This is the worst of the worst. Holy crap - they just threw her out in garbage. If trauma and lack of care due to throwing her out caused her death, sure the family should be held legally responsible by the state. And of course they should be ostracized from the society. damn this is just so bad.

Thanks for the update Anna & Anonymous. This story and the one about the newborn who survived 26 stab wounds (posted July 25) have got me so depressed. What is wrong with these people. How do they live with themselves ?

It is a legal issue

Why did they not just remain content with dumping her at some hospital? Did they have to make her endure being in a garbage dump? What were tehy doing?

You know, I wonder if it was a game of "chicken" gone too far - "if you don't take her, I can't keep her. You want her to end up in the garbage dump?!?!" ...with the follow-through when no response ensued...

May she be at peace.

dev- How do they live with themselves ?

I am sure they felt bad about doing it but they must have completely forgotten about it by now and moved on with other life troubles. Because a person who would do this has to have a very troubled life already. We have to keep in mind that nobody does this because they like to do it but this is probably the last recourse for them! Vinash kale viparit buddhi- which means when your time for destruction has come the first thing to get destroyed is your brain. I am sure we will never understand how one human being can take the life of another human being bu I am sure that their mind is so distraught at that time due to various reasons that they cannot identify right from wrong. They think they are doing the right thing at the time but it is certainly wrong.
As I said don't judge them like that-its not their hobby to do such ghastly things, it could be a survival tactic for them -who knows!

life expectancy in india is 61.. she did good making it to 75

This is a horrific crime and, I assume, uncontroversially so. I also think that the troll who posted the quoted comment doesn't deserve to have much breath spent on it. But I feel that the original discussion, which I read only long after when it happened, did raise some complex and worthwhile questions. Questions of adult children living with their parents, etc.

If caring for elders is an unquestioned virtue, what is the definition of caring for you? Does caring mean making sure one's parents get healthcare etc. at an old age, or does it involve actually having them in your living space? Is a son who never left home and cared for his family admirable or an unambitious loser? In most (not all, by any means) of white America, answers to these questions are clear. Indians and Indian-Americans, I feel, are still exploring answers to these questions, for very different reasons. And I think these questions deserve discussion and exploration.

Speaking for myself, I am a bit of an individualist, and I do find the presence of in-laws and parents living with me for more than a certain amount of time suffocating. And as I value privacy and personal growth strongly, I do not feel a person is obligated to spend all one's spare time on one's family. But the choices are never easy...

** Addendum: When I referred to "the troll", I was talking about the character ("Whatever") quoted in the previous post on this topic.

If caring for elders is an unquestioned virtue, what is the definition of caring for you? Does caring mean making sure one's parents get healthcare etc. at an old age, or does it involve actually having them in your living space?

Good point.

In India it's expected that at least one of one's sons will continue living in his parents' home for his entire life, bringing his bride there as daughter-in-law. This is seen as a noble duty. In the West a grown man living in his parents' home is seen as a "loser" or someone who could not make it on his own.

Whereas in the West, an elderly and alone parent may sometimes move into the home of a grown daughter or son in their last years when they are absolutely not able to live independently, in India the grown son is living in the parents' home so the dynamic is that the old parents or grand-parents are still "in charge".

Also, in the West you see alot of elderly parents moving in with daughters and their families whereas in India you will not see that nearly as much. The daughter marries and moves into the household of her in-laws, not the other way around.

Another factor - social life.

In the West people tend to have a very active social life sometimes right up until death - health willing. Widowed or divorced grannies often date and re-marry. Elderly people are involved in gyms, swimming, biking, various "clubs", etc. You do not see this so much in India. In India one's social life is centered around their family. That is why you sometimes see grandparents appearing to be overly involved in their grown grand-kids personal lives. The grandparents in India are not going to the gym, dating, hanging out with friends in cafes, for the most part. Sometimes you will see them actively involved in religious sects and that can take up a good chunk of their time, but otherwise, grandparents in India are very home and family centered, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on how one views that. To an outsider it might appear that they need to "get a life", but to them that is "life".

For a son in India not to live with and care for his elderly parents will often leave those parents with "no life", no social excitement whatsoever, because they will not have grandkids to take up their time. With no grandkids around, living alone, the elderly couple or widowed person may just sit idle lamenting his/her fate. It is very unlikely that they will get their social groove on outside of a family setting, and forget senior dating - not even a concept.

So the social dynamic of India and the West is very, very, very, different.

I've noticed that people age in India sooner than in the West. In the West 50 is still considered relatively young and your average 50 year old man or woman can still look "hot" and is most likely dating if divorced or widowed. In India 50 is considered "burda", old and most people in their 50s and 60s over here do not go out of their way to look "hot", either for themselves, or for their spouses. For a 55 year old widowed man or women to date around would be considered scandalous, to say the least.

In India people become "helpless" much sooner than in the West. In the West the helpless state usually sets in after 80. In India it can set in as early as the 50s. There may be so many reasons for this.

In general, Westerners have a tendency towards a youthful, active, flirty attitude even in their 50s and 60s, whereas in India that attitude starts to wane mid 30s.

What works there (the West) will not work in India just quite yet.

Pritama, very insightful comments.

The way middle and old age is approached by the two spheres, Western and Eastern, could mean that either in the West, due to lack of family bonding elders are forced to seek social life outside or, due to the lack of a real social life, elders in India are forced to make their kids and grandkids a (sometimes unwilling) substitute.

The cup is either half empty or half full, depending upon viewpoint.