September 12, 2007
From Russia with LoveHumor
Yesterday I was hosting a meeting at work for some co-workers spread out across the country, including some high-level managers within my organization. My laptop was hooked up to project on to a screen in our conference room as well as wired to broadcast its contents out over the internet for the remote meeting participants. The mail program I use is Microsoft Outlook. As Outlook users are probably aware, when you get a new message a tiny box fades in at the bottom right hand corner of your screen that has the name of the sender and the subject line of the email (yes, I realize now I can turn it off). After about five seconds it fades back out. In the middle of the meeting, overlaid on top of the most important Powerpoint slide, popped up the following message notification:
From: Mona
Subject: a way to solve abhi’s girl problems…..
The blood rushed to my face and I think I went deaf for a few minutes after that.
So what was this article that was going to solve my “girl problems?” I wasn’t aware I needed any help.
Desperate to reverse a steep decline in their numbers, Russians are coming up with some bold ideas on how to overcome Russia’s demographic crisis.
A Russian feminist has proposed a radical solution to the falling birth rate — importing Indian bridegrooms for Russian girls. Maria Arbatova, writer and TV moderator, who married an Indian businessman a few years ago “after 25 years of keeping marrying Russians”, thinks Indian men make ideal husbands.
“They are crazy about their family and children,” she said presenting her new book, ‘Tasting India’, here. “What is more, Indians, like Russians, are Indo-Europeans, and many Sanskrit and Russian words have the same roots.”
Indian bridegrooms can help ward off a Chinese demographic invasion in Russia, says the feminist: “If we do not balance off the Chinese with Indians, Africans or aliens, by 2050 China will annex Russia’s Siberia up to the Ural Mountains…” [Link]
Was my friend right? Is this what I need?
Yesterday Amardeep wrote a post about Putin (he was writing about Putin, I am quite sure). Today Putin did two things of note. The first is that he dissolved the Russian government, paving the way for his anointed successor to become Prime Minister. The second thing he did (through one of his provincial cronies) was MUCH more relevant:
The governor of a central Russian province urged couples to skip work on Wednesday and make love instead to help boost Russia’s low birth-rate.And if a woman gives birth in exactly nine months time — on Russia’s national day on June 12 — she will qualify for a prize, perhaps even winning a new home.
”It’s normally something for the home — a fridge or a television set,” Yelena Yakovleva at the Ulyanovsk regional administration press office, said…Regional governor Sergei Morozov told employers to contribute to a Kremlin campaign to boost the birth rate by giving couples Wednesday off to have sex. [Link]
No wonder Putin is so popular despite poisoning his detractors with radioactive waste. In America we work longer hours than ever before, whereas in Russia I can take the day off to do the dirty with a woman who mail-ordered me AND I get a free fridge out of it. This useful new knowledge makes up for the embarassment at work…I think.
abhi on September 12, 2007 11:24 PM in Humor, News, Politics · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
'Tasting India.' LOL.
anecdotally, i've noticed a lot of indian dudes with russian chicks. figured it was bollywood's influence.
russian feminism is a little different from the american type.
“What is more, Indians, like Russians, are Indo-Europeans, and many Sanskrit and Russian words have the same roots.”
The above is from the article, no lurv for us Dravido-lemurians. Damn Scythians !
Unlikely (i.e. mail order brides) or believable pairings ?
Damn I am prescient, I anticipated an Eastern European/Indian dude linkup
hmph.
no. totally legit. includeing eastern euro. 2 i know grew up in america but their parents immigrated. smoking hot too. dudes look ok.
once, i as in a bar and a polish girl was looking at me. went out with her, really nice and sweet, thick accent, blond, very very tight body and hot face. she even called me after we exchanged numbers to set up the date.
well, she liked bollywood a lot and was kinda into indian culture, but not in a granola way. we didn't really click, i thought she was too conservative, but months later i was surfing indian dating.com and saw her there. i sure many of you (like pulli) know who i mean.
i think there are a lot of eastern euro girls on indian dating.com, but i haven't been there in a long time.
Nice title, Abhi!
In related news:
I personally haven't seen a lot of it, but I was wondering how comes it can't go the other direction? Why aren't the Russian/Eastern European dudes into the Indian/South Asian ladies? Do they not have the same family values as our male counterparts? (By they of course, I mean Indian ladies in India as opposed to abroad where we get into silly hyphenations.) And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'd totally date the guy that's the new James Bond : )
Anyway, it's just a thought on gender parity.
yeah, i've never seen it go the other way either.
I love the "Tasting India" bit, too ... but really I love how the article begins to state that Arbatova thinks Indian men make "ideal" husbands and then goes on only to say that they are needed there to "ward off the Chinese demographic".
Because, God forbid, China annexes Siberia all the way up to the Ural Mountains in 2050. If that doesn't have CRISIS written all over it then I don't know what does.
My cousin is engaged to a Russian. He has been living in Moscow for around 20 years.
In past, a lot of Indian students would go to USSR on academic scholarships (they were very generous), and often marry from there. Scholarships to USSR had lesser hoops than US, UK.
Growing up in Roorkee Campus ages ago, at least 4-5 couples that had Russian spouse, more than any other single country.
India is full of East European/ Russian starlets, extras in Bollywood and even street walkers.
russians have a lot of chinese jokes. chinese are polish to them.
Stalin's daughter was married to an Indian, Brajesh Singh
If Indian men get put out to stud & start homesteading in Siberia, it will only accelerate Chinese encroachment. Where are the mappillais going to get Gobi Manchurian ?
Oh yeah, why Wednesdays? Just to go along with the hump day thing? Oh, Putin, you charmer you ...
Correction: Stalin's daughter was briefly involved an Indian, Brajesh Singh
Does anyone else equate "Russian woman" & "gold-digging social climber," or is that just me....
Check out www.exile.ru
I just had an indian bud marry an american girl who comes from a russian jewish family. Both they and their parents seemed really comfortable with each other. Gonna make for some cheapskate babies though
Gonna make for some cheapskate babies though
sir,
'tis is not becoming to perpetuate such unflattering stereotypes!
yours truly,
c.v. snicker
#20: Hey! I resemble that remark!
Hey -- I'm a Slavic girl married to an Indian guy. Both sets of parents are very happy!
If you stay with that political blogging habit of yours in the land of Putin, you'll have bigger problems than girls.
Not that I think you have a girl problem.
;)
..."to do the dirty"
Making it about the sex again?
If you would have accepted the girl that Yo Dad chose, you wouldn't be getting embarrassing emails during meetings, ain't that right Yo Dad?
The quote that got my attention was Maria Arbatova's "25 years of keeping marrying Russians". Inquiring minds want to know.
Wow! That's some serious dislike for Chinese people by the author of this article! So all those X-Files conspiracy theory episodes about some Russian connection with some alien vessel in Area 51 were true after all. I'd never have guessed.
In the Gobi Desert! What did I win? :D
Why not desi women and russian dudes? Because desi dudes have jobs and russian women have white skin. This is what I gather from the K-1 visa websites.
NvM: Right on ! Although I should say - and Abhi will agree - I have not yet "Chosen" any girl for Abhi. The kid is in search of a "perfect" girl, and as we all know that is the ultimate El Dorado. Heck, the human lifespan is so brief and insignificant - in the vast scheme of things - at least thats what they tell me - that if one is too choosy about life partner one may just stand on the shore and wave good-bye to the sailing ships. On the other hand I am hoping he might find his dream girl somewhere in our solar system - or even beyond !!
While exile.ru is often an entertaining read, I don't know if it is unbiased reporting. There sometimes seems to be an individual-Russian-hating-all-other-Russians vibe to the articles and columns, especially a few by Edward Limonov and Aspia Pahars (of course his column is titled Russophobe).
Also, just to counter all this we-love-Indian-grooms-yay vibe that this article is suffused with, here's the Gandhi Porn column by Alex Zaitchik.
Ah yes, the We Are Insignificant Carbon Particles excuse. I use it often, followed by que sera, sera. Nothing so vividly exposes the limitations of human understanding as contemplations on the universe...and the perfect girl.
This makes so much sense.
Russian women and Indian guys do have a lot in common. Traditional family structures, old world values mixed together in modern day living. Pretty girls who want to be worshipped by their husbands!
More importantly, there does seem to be a 'working on the same page' vibe that exists between the two groups in a emotional and romantic nature.
As for the ultimate 'el burrito', let me know where one finds it.
No wonder Putin is so popular despite poisoning his detractors with radioactive waste.
Um... hmm... proof please?
You're own fantasy perhaps? My neighbor is a mail-order Russian bride. She's of the hefty steppe stock- 6'0", big boned, in her 40s. The husband is an old, short, fat, bald, hyperventilating Castro-hating Cuban with no personality. If the Cold War was still going on- Couple of the Century!
Russian drop in birth rate has only a messiah (besides Indian groooms that is :-) ) ... Its GLOBAL WARMING. They need a little bit of GLOBAL WARMING to get it going on. One of my relatives was in St. Petersburg Russia for a couple of years and described how the 2-3 days of summer when there is no night and sunlight almost 24 hours. It was national holidays and vacation time for everyone.
So, Al Gore be damned, bring on the Warming :-)
Re comment #7
Here's what really irks me about East-European women. They tell you that they "LOVE Indian films"; at which point you're getting ready to have a cosy chat about how modern a 30-year-old Nihalani film appears even today; and she tells you how much she loved "Disco Dancer". And if one more Russian woman tells me about "Sita aur Gita" or "Haathi Mere Saathi", I am gonna scream . . .
You think right. But do you have a guess as to why they are there ?
Re comment #10
Because, in 9 cases out of 10, their women -- i.e. ex-girlfriends, young female relatives, etc. -- would accuse them of having an "Asian fetish".
Yo Dad, you are hilarious!
Abhi, hopefully none of the higher-ups read too much into your pop up message--except maybe they will give you a "special day off" Putin-style.
The Russian demographic implosion is notable, brought on as it was by poverty. The country has less people than Pakistan now, with what, twenty times the land mass? Its an open question whether it will endure with the same character in the future, overrun as they likely will be by the more fecund and virile.
Many of the countries in Europe too, particularly Northern Europe, are really sparsely populated city-states, e.g., Holland has less people than Mumbai or Tokyo, Finland has less people than Hyderabad, but they benefit from geographical isolation, in a manner of speaking. Prosperity and Enlightenment values which place the individual over the family, has actually had the effect of imploding the western population, slowly eliminating the idea of extended family relations or, in single child families, brotherhood or sisterhood. Again, it remains to be seen whether such a value system can survive other cultural norms which bring more people into the world.
But what about the religious differences; I've heard Russia restricts the building of Hindu temples in Russia - aren't these women concerned that they will enter into a Hindu,Sikh,Muslim, etc relationship? I'd be curious about this issue - I don't think too many Indian men would consider moving to Russia, where they can't practice their religion, however superficially.
That's very crude about the Chinese - what a racist, xenophobic attitude!
Come out to central Queens and tell me how much you all still like Russians :)
aside... a high number of indian-russian pairings wouldn't surprise me. there are a lot of eastern europeans that i think are desi (of the 'scythian' variety) at first. it's the combination of the dark hair + hooked nose + sometimes swarthy skin
Kush Tandon's observations are correct. A lot of the Russian-Eastern Europe-Indian love fest has to do with the close relations fostered during the Cold War when Uncle Sam was cosying up to Pakistan and India turned to the Soviet bloc. There was a lot of cultural interaction where Indian films were exported to the Eastern Bloc countries. You should see how popular Raj Kapoor is with older generation Russians, my God! They break into "Mera joota hai Japani" at the drop of a hat. Also, a lot of Indian students looking to get an education in engineering and medicine went to Moscow. And that partially explains why there are so many Russian wives with Indian husbands. More men went abroad those days than girls, so the possibility of marrying a "foreigner" increased. Nowadays, there is the influx of Eastern bloc women either to work in modeling or Bollywood (Yana Gupta, anyone?) or in more exploitative fields (Kazakh prostitutes). Either way, the possibility increases that there are going to be more Indian man-Russian/Eastern European woman pairings rather than Indian woman/Russian man pairings.
it's ok, there are too many indian guys for indian girls anyway (sex-ratio wise)
#40 risible: "Prosperity and Enlightenment values which place the individual over the family, has actually had the effect of imploding the western population, slowly eliminating the idea of extended family relations or, in single child families, brotherhood or sisterhood. Again, it remains to be seen whether such a value system can survive other cultural norms which bring more people into the world."
An astute observation! On the other hand, the value system that breeds (to mix metaphors) an emphasis on self-fulfillment and hence smaller families just might become the global norm in a few decades as the Third World merrily follows in the footsteps of the First World.
Look at the urban Indians. They have much smaller families, have looser connections with their extended families and harbor very high educational and other aspirations for their offsprings that they know cannot be attained if the family became too big. And this is not only an urban phenomenon. Declining birth rate is really tied to what you called enlightenment. However, Russia's population crisis may have had less to do with enlightenment and more with the communist regime. A Russian family living on ration cards and in tiny government-controlled apartments would not have multiplied as readily as a family that controls its own economic future in a free state. I am not sure whether USSR also mandated birth control. China certainly does.
I grew up in an India that was brainwashed by the slogan, "Do ya teen bachhey, bus" (Two or three children, that's it). I am glad a vast majority of Indians ignored the advice. So today India has what the economists call the Demographic Dividend, an economic force that will unleash several major Baby Booms in the Indian economy, ensuring an organic double-digit growth for the next 50 years.
A thought on the topic at hand. Wouldn't it make more sense for Russia to relax its immigration policy and let 10 million Indians just move in instead of taking the slow impregnation route with its long gestation period? Canada in the Sixties and Seventies did encourage immigration to solve a population problem.
I'm reminded of this Wendy's commercial from some years ago.
Didn't Stalin actually give medals and other incentives to women who had lots of babies for Mother Russia?
Not necessarily. Often poverty drives people to have more children, on the theory that the more you have, the more likely it is that a few will survive and provide labor/income/help you in your old age. Prosperity usually causes birthrates to go down. The book World Hunger: 12 Myths gets into this question in detail.
also, russians and indians have a similar ideal for the male body. basically fat=prosperous=attractive like that ridiculous looking Rajnikath dude. my friends russian wife, who grew up here, likes to keep him chunky. i worked with a russian woman who would hold one of my fat indian colleagues up as the epitome of male beauty, while telling me and 2 other dudes that we need to gain weight. (it was a boutique firm so we were constantly in violation of title 9 of the '64 civil rights act that has been interpreted to mean that overt sexuality equals a hostile working environment which equals gender discrimination).
pot bellies are in. (i can almost hear half the dudes on sm dancing with joy right now).
Perhaps, you are right, my perspective may be very skewed. Still, I know a lot of women from Russian or Eastern block countries and they'll as a group remarkably attractive. My theory is that they still care about being feminine in a manner that is very different from American women. Also they didn't grow up eating a lot of unhealthy hormone/sugar food.
I've had at least a half-dozen Russian/Ukranian broads ask me about Raj Kapoor. Some of them pretty young, so those old-school filmi bootlegs must still be making the rounds in Eastern Euro bazaars.
Kush, you tease. Ms. Svetlana led a very colorful life:
The whole article. Noted communist Louis Fischer (contributed to "The God That Failed) also wrote the book that would turn into Richard Attneborough's 'Gandhi'.haha, whaaaaat? maybe 20 years ago, but definitely not now. even my father's poor village brethren have commented on his pot belly as something that he still hasn't lost yet. while for indians there is still a point when they'll say someone is 'too skinny,' there is also a point that isn't too far to the other extreme when they'll say someone is too heavy (for both men and women). though i think the general consensus is that weight doesn't matter as much once you've gotten married because the assumption is that you won't ever get a divorce so what does it matter?
i sure abhi was talking aboout laundry. ergo, the girl problems
#40 "The Russian demographic implosion is notable, brought on as it was by poverty"
Exactly what kind of poverty do you need to bring this on, we have tried so many types in Bharat now ...
yeah, i guess ur right, the aethetics have changed on the indian side as is obvious from bollywood. but the ruskies haven't changed and indian dudes are still king of the pot bellies. pottiest bellies around, i'd say. got moe pot than cheech and chong backstage at a dead concert.
So bloody true...Russian/Eastern Euro birds are a bit too aggressive for Brown Daddy : (
I'm still laughing at Abhi's Microsoft Office public gaffe... =)
Eastern European women are hot and more often than not they have the hots for brown men :)
The Baltic States rock. Reading this thread brought back so many wonderful memories.
Thanks to Abhi - you have made my day.
If you people want to meet good-looking women who like Indian guys, GO TO MINNEAPOLIS. SERIOUSLY.
White Americans in redneck, USA aka Republican voting base?! Blimey! :/
If you're a Jatt bloke, chat up Brazilian birds in Europe or S. America. They love us and we love them. To reiterate, GO TO EUROPE/S. AMERICA AND MEET BRAZILIAN GIRLS. SERIOUSLY.
That reminds me of Love Actually. :) Cute.
What about Bangalore? or Bombay?
And how do you make sure that your mail-ordering bride is Tatiana, not Rosa Klebb?
i love all these statements about who loves whom just based on ethnicity or location... yes, let's move to minneapolis, just to get laid. :)
White Americans in redneck, USA aka Republican voting base?! Blimey! :/
umm check the demographics on minneapolis. though i guess you can be excused, b/c if i remember correctly, you're not american right? though i guess there are just as many americans with the same attitude... i'm pretty much a new yorker, but willful ignorance p*sses me off
oops, the quoting should look like this:
If you want to meet two gorgeous Palestinian girls and a hot Danish woman who really loved Indian guys, go back to Barbados in April 2005. They were visiting there that week. SERIOUSLY.
I'm sorry...April 2004.
yes, april/may 2005 was natalee holloway time.
If you people want to meet good-looking women who like Indian guys, GO TO MINNEAPOLIS. SERIOUSLY.
I was in Minneapolis half a decade back for an interview and I can absolutely vouch for Amitabh. Hmm, maybe we know the same people :)
This is hilarious! I wonder why some countries have decreasing birth rates and others have increasing ones. Maybe it has something to do with the climate. :-) If the Russians, also provide great high speed Internet connections to the homes of those couples having babies then it will be great for my business (Babble Soft). Plus may be the Russian women can blog about their experiences being married to an Indian guy. Oh so funny!
So Abhi, are you moving to Russia anytime soon?
Did your audience laugh when your Outlook message popped up?
Now I realize why some H1B chaps never want to leave Minneapolis. I kept trying to move them to warmer climes but many refused to budge!!
Damn - no direct flights to Minneapolis from here :(
@al chautiya
I hope you don't know the same people. If you do, i bet you they'll turn out to be hookers or something.
As for the folks who said they resembled my last comment--you wouldn't have happened to have been in cali about two months ago?
Oh, and if you really want advice on where to pick up women based upon comment postings on Sepia Mutiny, I suggest you got to Amsterdam with a bunch of bills cause that's the only place your going to get any.
Minneapolis...seriously? Clearly I am missing an important piece of information. Is it all the blonde-haired, blue-eyed women or something else that's going over my head?
Nope, you got it.
This could be a guy thing, but I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted to be with me just because I was Indian.
that depends on how long you want to be with the grl. 30 years, maybe not. 2 days, then who cares?
maybe they'll like the cheaper shiy gold more than the desi girls
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/business/5137163.html