I'm a Sex and the City addict, but these postings just didn't do it for me. The charm of 'Bridget' and 'Sex' is that they are able to capture a town, a city, a culture. The postings left so much to be explored. Take for example, her relationship status post. Isn't the fact that this woman could only effectively inform her social network about her new relationship via facebook more important than her updating her status with a little heart? She needs to leverage her fodder, if you ask me. But that's just my two cents.

Ofcourse, the burning question is whether EM will fall back on terrible puns passing for feminine insight in her novel.

Nevermind, I have my answer.

"Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan"

d00d is she of Telugu ancestry?

I hate SatC. I hate all the comparisons to SatC. This seems similar enough though-- something that most Indian women simply don't have the money to relate to.

The entire world is becoming filled people who talk and live life exactly the same way.

Boring.

So eM gets officially outed!

I know her somewhat, and she is an awesome girl. It's a myth that her blog is anonymous - it might have been that way when she started it, but by now most people know her real life identity, so I have no idea what she is worried about. That profile in the Telegraph seems a bit, dare i say it, "self-commissioned".
She writes fine, and has interesting stories, but a "semi-autobiographical novel" is too much. It seems a bit odd for a 25 year old girl (public info, from her blog) to be full of the kind of angst that the characters in SATC/Bridget Jones have - frankly speaking, I just find it amusing when she frets about being single and all that.

Nothing special. Tucker Max-ian blather with the same blatant attention getting style. The only thing she's worried about is when her book/blog will catch the eyes of the moral police. Then its on to the riots, protests, book burnings and then its hello bestseller.

I vote Amy Sohn. I don't even think it's as funny as Tucker Max, although it is similarly long-winded. The posts are fine, but don't really stand out to me. That said, neither do 90% of SatC episodes, so maybe I'm the wrong demographic :)

*yawn*

I could barely make it past her "about me" section, even though half (only half) of it describes me:

Okay, here goes: twenty-something, single, female, writer, with large groups of friends and who goes out for drinks pretty regularly. That's my life and that's what I write about. Okay? Okay.

I find it boring too, but clearly lots of people read and comment. So, good for her.

*yawn*

Yawn indeed. And so was S&TC. Though it would be interesting to find out a few months down if her two minutes of fame change the situation from one of the behavior driving the blog to the blog driving the behavior.

That was really boring. I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes or so going through that blog.

unless her book has stunning revelations about murli manohar joshi's syphilitic saffron balls, i'll take cutler's washingtonienne any day.

meenakshi's blahg is as inane as carrie's confessions to her trusty mac, and i hope that her navel doesn't wither away under all this compulsive gazing.

p.s: she seems to be on the culture beat for outlook. i read an article she wrote about ganesha idols and they are serviceable.

i meant "... and it was serviceable".

I don't doubt that she could write well. If you go through her archives, you might notice that too. But unfortunately (or at least so it appears to me) she writes about sex and alcohol and men and feminism not because she really has something to say, but merely because it fits with the image she's created for herself. She seems to pick a topic only because it is controversial or scandalous (and therefore, might translate into 45 comments). But because she has a good grasp of the English language, because she knows how to be funny, she initially got away with what was just repetition. Sure, she probably gets 400 hits a day. But if those readers are merely people who visit her blog for their daily cheap thrill then eM should perhaps re-think her writing strategy.

I agree with the general consensus. It all sounds a bit too produced ... like she's watched one too many episodes of SATC and has Carrie fever. Don't get me wrong- love the show. But this formula is tired over here in the States and, frankly, I'm underwhelmed.

daily cheap thrill then eM should perhaps re-think her writing strategy.

cheap thrills should not be run down. they are cheap and they give you a weak voyeuristic buzz. that's worth the 5 minutes it takes to scan through her posts. I would hate, though, to be a 1-2 drink (per day) average that long after college.

you people need to get out and get your groove on. sex, cappuccinos, cigarettes, and martinis. what's there not to like?

o crap. i never thought i'd say this...but i'm Segolene Royal.

sex, cappuccinos, cigarettes

we french have been drenching ourselves in black coffee, smoky cigarettes and anonymous uncommitted sex for too long. enough already. we need to roll up our sleeves and act.

i never thought i'd say this...but i'm Segolene Royal.

i am not hmf.

wow, i'm glad that i'm not the only who is in serious disbelief that she got a book deal. i initially didn't want to add that on to what i said before, lest i seem like too much of a hater. :)

you people need to get out and get your groove on. sex, cappuccinos, cigarettes, and martinis. what's there not to like?

sorry, but you can't have it all.

sorry, but you can't have it all.

u can if ur long Pfizer. american capitalism meets the french work ethic.

But unfortunately (or at least so it appears to me) she writes about sex and alcohol and men and feminism not because she really has something to say, but merely because it fits with the image she's created for herself.

Does she really write about feminism that often? I saw one post in which she said that she went to a women's college, it's not impossible to be both feminist and feminine (um, duh, but even if you're not a feminine woman, what's wrong with that?), and the 'one way' in which she considers herself a feminist is when it comes to how pissed off she gets at being called a 'woman writer.' Yeah, solidarity! (And then she even goes on to say that she got militant by just saying that. Ugh!)

If she becomes well-known in the West though, hopefully 'dowry system-arranged marriage-bride burning-female foeticide' won't be the first thing that people think of when they think of Indian women, and this will give a more well-rounded view of the diversity within India.

I wonder how much of what she writes is fact and how much is fiction? Kind of reminds me of that guy (Frey?) who
wrote A million little pieces...

If I wrote a sexcapade blog it would be much much better. Juicy.

Well Meenakshi's a friend of mine, so I guess I'm probably a little biased. But I like how everyone's got into the whole 'demonize anything that wants to be S&TC' thing happening here. I might earn your ire here, but I quite like some of what she's written. I agree that most of her content is 'salacious'; I'm sure it has been done to death outside of India. But despite its shortcomings, it chronicles a lifestyle that does exist. Whether there are any merits in such a lifestyle is, of course, a matter of debate.

In a country like this one - where you could be lynched for speaking your mind, need explain yourselves to nosey relatives and are expected to be a virgin when you get married, it takes balls to pull off a blog like hers. Shobha De was already Page 3 when she started writing her stuff. She'd been a model and film critic for many years before she came out with her novels. Minna is still middle class. And many women in the metros actually relate to her. Overlook the S&TC posts and there are a whole lot of rare posts that speak of someone grappling with the reality of two Indias - be it her Mal-Gult parentage or her love for Delhi.

The trashiness of some of her content notwithstanding she does speak for a set of people that haven't been spoken for before. No harm in that, no?

Yeah, whatever Evil Abhi. No sex until marriage.

I agree that most of her content is 'salacious'

Salacious rocks! Poorish writing...not so much. But hey, that's what editors are for.

I say more power to her and to any other Indian who subverts the rigid sexual mores in that country and reprises the sexual freedom that India was so well known for. Maybe for some of you India shall arrive when the stock index reaches 50000 or when an Indian lands on Mars but I'll be proudest of my homeland when I and my future Indian girlfriend can sprawl butt-naked on a beach in Kerala, unmolested by either police or thugs.

In a country like this one - where you could be lynched for speaking your mind

Huh???? For you it might just be hyperbole but for many a dolt in America this will actually end up becoming his/her standard talking point about India.

If I wrote a sexcapade blog it would be much much better

can you write with a swollen wrist?

Its not the supposed salaciousness of the posts that bothers me. Its the complete lack of originality.
Even the title of her blog posts, seem like a rehash of old SaTC episode titles.
She just comes across as a Carrie wannabe, a caricature, Oh look at me I am so cool,
I drink, I smoke and have sex, oh and by the way I buy expensive cat litter, I am so rebellious!
Well, good for her, she gets a book deal for rehashing old material.

Huh???? For you it might just be hyperbole but for many a dolt in America this will actually end up becoming his/her standard talking point about India.

-- Ahem Hyperbole, really?

http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/158

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2145541,00.html

# 33 reads like a poem.

Yogi - I'm not fan of Sex & the City (mostly for being held up as speaking for women in New York, when um, no. just, no.), but I think the thing is, it is original for India. I don't expect metro Indians to keep up with American media, so I think they're entitled to their own Sex & the City, of sorts.

I've actually seen every episode of Sex and the City (those puns. TORTURE.) and what always struck me was how Carrie was how ignorant Carrie seemed of sexuality in general. You'd think a 30-something sex columnist would be more open-minded (like that episode where she gets all freaked out that her new boy is bi). F*cking hell, I was, what, 15? when the series ended and I felt like I had figured out most shit that the women on this show probably wouldn't for... ever, actually. And that's the thing about eM, it truly doesn't seem that radical to me either.

-- Ahem Hyperbole, really?

http://www.pickledpolitics.com/archives/158

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2145541,00.html

A similar Islamist nut in Holland actually killed a guy there. So this fringe fanaticism isn't just peculiar to India.

Nala-

This woman is from India but all her pop culture references seem to be American,
quickly browsing through her blog I found references to Sesame Street, Desperate Housewives
and of course Sex and the City, so even though what you say is probably true about most Indians it
probably doesn't apply to this blogger and her circle of friends.

And that's the thing about eM, it truly doesn't seem that radical to me either.

for Christ sake nala, what do you want her to be? a sex pozzie taking on the rad fems in defense of sex workers in delhi. the auntijis are scared enough as it is.

Nala, I agree with most of what you have to say about Sex and the City.

for Christ sake nala, what do you want her to be? a sex pozzie taking on the rad fems in defense of sex workers in delhi. the auntijis are scared enough as it is.

i was just stating my opinion; i don't know why you're getting all worked up. i don't 'expect' her to be anything, nor do i 'expect' S&tC to be anything; I'm just saying that I don't find either of them that 'radical' in how we look at sex and relationships. then again, that may just be my perspective because i've grown up in such a 'sexually liberated' time and place. my bigger point is, even though i've grown up in this 'sexually liberated' time and place, i think it's still fucked up. and i bet india will be too once the 'sexual revolution' hits.

and i bet india will be too once the 'sexual revolution' hits.

i meant to add that it'll just be fucked up in a different way from how it is now.

also, what is a 'pozzie'? (also, i think you'd find that most radical feminists would actually support sex workers, but after reading your comments about race relations in the U.S., i'm scared to hear your perceptions of feminists, Manju)

i was just stating my opinion; i don't know why you're getting all worked up.

sorry nala. got too worked up. gotta cut down on those martinis, cappucinos and cigarettes. i'll keep the sex though.

I think Indian women have their own lifestyles that need not be boiled down to the NY prototype. So for all US Desis bitching on this blog, I think its more important to listen to what she's saying (even if it is banal sometimes)rather than jump and cast judgement based on SATC. Seeing Delhi and Bombay through her eyes have been fun for me - it tells me how much things are different now than even a few years back and I applaud her for her frankness. And I've read way worse contemporary SATC versions from NY itself.
So rather than seeing it a constant game of the desh catching up, root it in the ethos of the country rather than some abstract blanket terms of judgement. And frankly, I detect a note of disdain in these comments that appears to go beyond aesthetic considerations.

when I and my future Indian girlfriend can sprawl butt-naked on a beach in Kerala, unmolested by either police or thugs.

also, what is a 'pozzie'? (also, i think you'd find that most radical feminists would actually support sex workers, but after reading your comments about race relations in the U.S., i'm scared to hear your perceptions of feminists, Manju)

pozzie is short for "sex positive." you're probably right that the majority of currently self-defined feminists support sex workers, especially the self-defined 3rd wavers, but the dworkin/mckinnon influence is still there and there is a huge debate between these "rad fems" and the "sex pozzies" who believe the radfems are patronizing them by trying to outlaw what they consider their freely chosen profession. (there is also a huge debate a between radfems who believe in gender essentialism and thus don't accept the transgendered.)

so a lot of sex pozzies refuse to call themselves feminists, just like some black "feminists" who rebel against mainstream feminisms patronizing attitude. see for example renegade evolution for an example of sex poz and blackacademic for an anti-feminist black feminist.

as far as my perception of feminism vis a vis race relations in the US, yes i'm sure it will be scary to you. i think the mainstream feminist movement is just a cover for reactionary leftist politics, not unlike some famous American race hustlers.

but i know as much about feminism as i do about the civil rights and black pwr movements, which is to say lot or nothing depending on your point of veiw. i've also read a huge amount of kennedy biographies, more than any conservative republican should. really. ask me anything about the kennedys...i know all the sordid details...much dirtier than the The Compulsive Confessor or sex pozzies.

Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter? Maybe some of you women would...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I haven't read her blog but based just on what's being described here.

Manju - I think you'd find that even Dworkin and McKinnon and most radical femininsts would support sex workers, porn actresses, strippers, etc. - even if they do not support the act/profession itself, mostly because of the belief that they are victims of a patriarchal society, whereas feminists who consider themselves sex-positive would not want to take agency away from women. and it's not really surprising to me that there are black feminist anti-feminists out there... i kind of stopped identifying with the feminist movement after attending a meeting of my (very liberal) college's Feminist Alliance. one meeting is really all it took.

i've also read a huge amount of kennedy biographies, more than any conservative republican should. really. ask me anything about the kennedys...i know all the sordid details...much dirtier than the The Compulsive Confessor or sex pozzies.

haha... well, can you tell me who really killed JFK?? :P

to get back on topic... surely there have got to be Indian blogs that get more than 400-500 hits a day??

can you tell me who really killed JFK

only marilyn knows.

to the Confessor's admirers who are getting so defensive and confuse criticise her writing for snickering at her lifestyle - maybe you should read this blog more. We are obviously not uptight. But I will say this about her lifestyle. I am sick of women in third world countries who feel like smoking is a sign of being modern. You are 50 years behind. Maybe virginia Slims can target these women with their You've Come a Long Way Baby ads . It's bad enough so many Indian guys in India seem to think smoking is cool.

Talking about sex is not exactly groundbreaking anymore. Mrs Bedi was streaking across Bombay in the 70s. And she never came close to getting lynched.

Important point to note - she needs to learn how to write in a more interesting manner.

Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter? Maybe some of you women would...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I haven't read her blog but based just on what's being described here.

Word, bro. I wouldn't either.

While her critics grow daily more scandalised, her thousands of fans believe she is changing the face of modern Indian womanhood. Her blog is among the most popular in India, receiving 400-500 hits a day

I skimmed through her blog but she somewhat reminds me of those random women whom become popular on youtube, adult sites for posing seductively/scandously.

While her critics grow daily more scandalised, her thousands of fans believe she is changing the face of modern Indian womanhood. Her blog is among the most popular in India, receiving 400-500 hits a day

I think in addition to the boring substance of her blog, it's that smug mentality that turns me off. Has she heard of Protima Bedi in the 70s? She OPENLY had affairs, streaked through Bombay naked. All in the 70s. She lived life the way she wanted. This meant a little bit more in the 70s.
Now people having sex in India is not that uncommon. Smoking is not exaclty rebellious. She went from conforming to the family ideal to conforming to Virginia Slims type marketing hype. I just see her as a boring person who thinks partying like the people she reads in western books and movies is the height of rebellion when it is neither original nor gutsy. What Neena Gupta did in the 80s having a kid with Viv Richards and keepin the baby and raising her right without making a fuss of it. That was gutsy. She didnt pretend that it was something cool. She liked what she saw and felt like having a baby.

If she is that adventurous, she needs to go backpacking around India or Europe. Meet different people. Maybe go mountain climbing in the Himalayas. Stage a protest against censorship in the media. I dont know. Make a difference of some sort and I will find it noteworthy. Or at least just entertain me.

Amitabh & 'Jason Bourne' - what are you basing your 'I wouldn't be proud to have her in my family' statements on?

Personally, I don't support vapidity. Sometimes it's fun to engage in (e.g. I devoured the gossip girl books when I was in high school), but it's gotta be well-written for me.

I wouldn't support anyone in my family being a rambly writer, if that's what you mean.

jay @46, which of the comments before yours gives you the sense that people are being judgmental? personally, for me to read a blog, either the ideas have to be interesting, or the writing has to be good. this blog doesn't have much of either.

of course, her writing quality may not have very much to do at all with any success she might have as a writer. if shobha de, kaavya, and dan brown can make #1 on the bestseller lists, more power to her too.

surely there have got to be Indian blogs that get more than 400-500 hits a day??

i read india uncut occassionally, it is an often amusing collection of links. i am sure it is more popular than 500 hits a day. ultrabrown also links to some good desi blogs on its right pane under "check it". i don't know how popular they are, but i have seen some of them nominated for indiblogger awards and the like (i believe india uncut won some awards too).

I wouldn't support anyone in my family being a rambly writer, if that's what you mean.

nala, that's funny and on-point. exactly what i was going to say.

i think her blog is boring.

the only novel thing about it is that it doesn't fit the traditional indian woman stereotype. but, if this was a lady from nyc or somewhere nearby, nobody would have even paid attention to it.

I wouldn't support anyone in my family being a rambly writer, if that's what you mean.

Ha ha. How true. No one needs her to be a great English writer with great vocabulary. BUt just make it interesting.

I am a somewhat regular reader and I gotta disagree with some of you all. I love her! Her blog is really funny and interesting - I read it almost everyday. She's my idol!

I think Indian women have their own lifestyles that need not be boiled down to the NY prototype. So for all US Desis bitching on this blog, I think its more important to listen to what she's saying (even if it is banal sometimes)rather than jump and cast judgement based on SATC. Seeing Delhi and Bombay through her eyes have been fun for me - it tells me how much things are different now than even a few years back and I applaud her for her frankness. And I've read way worse contemporary SATC versions from NY itself.
So rather than seeing it a constant game of the desh catching up, root it in the ethos of the country rather than some abstract blanket terms of judgement. And frankly, I detect a note of disdain in these comments that appears to go beyond aesthetic considerations.

I somewhat sympathize with your sentiment there. But if she is indeed ripping other shows/blogs it's unpardonable. And for that matter I didn't find the stories of SaTC groundbreaking. Packaging those stories into a slick TV show however was novel and that's what made it fly. Also if Madhavi is being judged against the best of her genre of sexual tell-alls, then why don't I ever see ABD artists/writers profiled here similarly judged against the better known names in their respective niches? Don't you think some of your more loved alterna-desis won't make the cut then? You cut them enough slack because they are your only role models in less conventional vocations. Why not allow Madhavi similar tolerance? Looks like she is a daringly frank blogger in a very non-confessional culture. She is blazing a trail too.

Also it's unfair to hold Indians' writing in English to the same standard as of those whose mother tongue is English or who at least grew up speaking English for the most part. I should expand on this last point but I'll maybe do it later.

how cool is that! she's indian and she smokes and has premarital sex! Who would have guessed? Here I was, thinking all middle-eastern women wore burkas!!

I'm definitely going to buy that book.

Posterity- I'm pretty sure that posters and commenters on this blog have criticized ABD writers on both aesthetic and political levels. Including The Namesake, although they do identify with it.

Also, she is part of the Delhi socialite scene, not to mention an English-language journalist- English isn't a foreign language to her.

And the criticism of her writing doesn't have to do so much with her grasp of the English language so much as with her style of writing - very rambly.

Also, she is part of the Delhi socialite scene, not to mention an English-language journalist- English isn't a foreign language to her.

Does that mean she does not need to make reservations at the little kebab shop in Khan market?

Hmmm. I'm wondering whether some of the nastiness here is really warranted. Oh! Doomsday alert - desi woman trying to corrupt the masses. There are several comments here that expect her to be an icon of sorts; to conform to a certain ideal of the desi woman. Some others have offered to validate her if she makes great humanitarian contributions from her. Whatever for?!!!

Can't she just be? Bad writing, rambling, imperfections, smoking, drinking, sex and all?

A letter from Meenakshi's mother (who reads her blog, I think)
http://thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com/2007/03/my-old-wise-people.html

Nitya- this is the internet. when a blogger gets a book deal, her writing is going to get criticized. it's not just 'nastiness.'

Some others have offered to validate her if she makes great humanitarian contributions from her. Whatever for?!!!

come again?

Can't she just be? Bad writing, rambling, imperfections, smoking, drinking, sex and all?

If her writing continues to be that boring - she will "just be". So don't worry. That time will come soon. No one is going to give a shit at that point - even if she undergoes a vow of celibacy.

If her writing continues to be that boring - she will "just be". So don't worry. That time will come soon. No one is going to give a shit at that point - even if she undergoes a vow of celibacy.

I don't find her writing boring.

This woman has a book deal ? What's so good about her writing? I'm not a writer but her stuff seems okay to me not spectacular. Seems like a college student's blog type thing mixed with a young urban professional's income level and life style.

Yes, she does "ramble", but her blog is called the Compulsive Conessor , so isn't that the point?

Okay. I read a lot of her blogs. Some of the jokes she makes are very similar to jokes me and my friends would make when we were in high school (and thats high school in the USA) so I am wondering where she is getting all of this from ? Is she foreign educated ? Has she been to foreign ? Does she have relatives in foreign? She must, the jokes are way too similar.

Um... hi? I've been debating whether or not to say something, and many of your points are reasonable enough. Just in myt defence against the one thing that keeps popping up over and over in these comments--I didn't portray myself to the journalist as "liberal" or rebellious" because of my lifestyle. In fact, I told her when she asked me how I felt about "representing" the urban Indian woman, that I was uncomfortable with the word representing, and that what I wrote about was nothing new because all my friends live pretty much the same way. I also mentioned some other women bloggers who wrote about the same thing. The interview with her didn't last very long, and I realised I was going to be outed sooner or later, something I also said to her over the phone. Oh, and she asked me how many daily hits I had and drew her own inferences.
I love SaTC but I only started watching it like a year ago, so there goes that theory.
eM

That last comment was supposed to read: "DDiA loves him some Meenakshadenfreude". Apologies. Will the monkey please edit away the error above?

Pradeep #54

Has she heard of Protima Bedi in the 70s? She OPENLY had affairs, streaked through Bombay naked. All in the 70s.

Pamela Bordes--I knew her when she was Pamela Chaudhry--was another such character from that time. I rather think she did all those things because she craved an exciting avant-garde lifestyle. Of course, there were other avenues and most of us (those who wanted something else) pursued those. A few, like Pamela, chose sex as their medium.

I know many many unconventional (by Indian standards) Indians. It's probably the circles I moved around in. Some of the things the did would raise eyebrows even in the west. The point is, there have always been people in India (and elsewhere) who have managed to shock their peers. But everytime one does something sensational, the bar is raised. So now in 2007, even in India, a blog like this might be interesting for one's (teen-age) friends, but really passe for a more general audience.

But everytime one does something sensational, the bar is raised.

in fact, the us is so dissolute that the only way to get your name in the papers is by doing something like this or this. if/when i have a daughter, i am going to make sure i have my day in the sun (or at least the ny times) by selecting a suitor for her using a swayamvara involving archery, wrestling, and competitive commenting on blogs (you know, a good mix of the modern and ancient).

nala @ 55 and in the 60s, thanks for making me giggle this morning :)

I also don't buy the "holding a non-native English speaker to English standards" argument, partially for the reasons nala listed, and partially because there are plenty of lovely writers writing in English out of the des. It's not a stylistic difference so much as it is a writing preference. It's not like when you're reading German translated into English which is a starkly different, convoluted style.

i love EM! but i haven't read her in over a month, so missed the book deal bit. before she moved over to compulsive confessor, though, she actually did get outed at her workplace and that's when she switched her blog to CC. i stumbled on her blog by accident, but i found it very interesting - and her lifestyle very typical/believable for someone of her background and social circle. the book should be interesting. congratulations!

nala - i think she is telugu - i vaguely remember a mention of a visit to AP from a post - and she definitely mentions her south indian roots...

Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter? Maybe some of you women would...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I haven't read her blog but based just on what's being described here.

without knowing anymore about you (just like you made that comment without knowing much about her) and based purely on the above statement, i wouldn't be proud to have you as a member of my family, in any role. i don't know what you are basing it on (sexuality? liberal voicing of her opinion? talking openly about sex in india?), but you clearly aren't holding out any possibility that this girl will have redeeming qualities (not that i look down on any of the characteristics i just stated). maybe you should read the blog to learn about her for yourself; though i'm not a fan of making comments or judgments about other people's lifestyles, even when i do know the whole story. but that's just me.

a little ironic that a post about writing quality has a typo in its title :)

ak, well said. independent of any "redeeming" qualities, it is a little tiresome to continuously see judgment of people's moral characters by their personal sexual or partying habits. it shouldn't be a problem for anybody as long as they are smart and safe about it. although i'd certainly not be excited to have her blow smoke in my breathing range.

amitabh, i wonder if you inflict and share your searing verdicts with your buddies who go out partying and drinking, and maybe pick up the odd girl?

This is part of the future of publishing. In the UK there is a publisher called The Friday Project that publishes nothing but books developed from various bloggers, and their titles sell very well indeed. 'Belle de Jour' was the blog of a high class call girl in London, anonymously, very salacious and titillating, and she got a book contract out of it and it's just been made into a prime time multi million pound TV series. I reckon this blogger is working to that template, as are Penguin India.

Um... hi? I've been debating whether or not to say something, and many of your points are reasonable enough. Just in myt defence against the one thing that keeps popping up over and over in these comments--I didn't portray myself to the journalist as "liberal" or rebellious" because of my lifestyle. In fact, I told her when she asked me how I felt about "representing" the urban Indian woman, that I was uncomfortable with the word representing, and that what I wrote about was nothing new because all my friends live pretty much the same way. I also mentioned some other women bloggers who wrote about the same thing. The interview with her didn't last very long, and I realised I was going to be outed sooner or later, something I also said to her over the phone. Oh, and she asked me how many daily hits I had and drew her own inferences. I love SaTC but I only started watching it like a year ago, so there goes that theory. eM

now that you have a book deal, prepare to be misquoted, and to grow thicker skin. you're not at fault for the sex & the city comparisons (which nearly *everything* gets compared to, jeez); i think it's just that some of us living in the U.S. are sick of it, haha. but we're also not your target audience. but yeah, definitely keep doing your thing.

forgot to add - after all, you're the one who has a book deal, not us. :)

This is part of the future of publishing. In the UK there is a publisher called The Friday Project that publishes nothing but books developed from various bloggers, and their titles sell very well indeed. 'Belle de Jour' was the blog of a high class call girl in London, anonymously, very salacious and titillating, and she got a book contract out of it and it's just been made into a prime time multi million pound TV series. I reckon this blogger is working to that template, as are Penguin India.

hm, i think it's weird that the American/British 'confessional' genre has moved to India; I find the American obsession with 'confessionals' kind of fucked up (um, for lack of a better term) on a cultural level (e.g. post secret, though i do enjoy it myself), and i'm not sure how that will translate to urban India.

Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter? Maybe some of you women would...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I haven't read her blog but based just on what's being described here.

Makes me wonder what you would do if she was your sister. I can't believe in this day and age and on this blog I'll ever read a statement like that. I'll be relieved if you look down on her because of her alleged un-originality or her writing style. But I doubt that's what made you say the above.

Makes me wonder what you would do if she was your sister. I can't believe in this day and age and on this blog I'll ever read a statement like that. I'll be relieved if you look down on her because of her alleged un-originality or her writing style. But I doubt that's what made you say the above.

ugh yeah, seriously. ok i take back what i said before about her blog not really being all that 'radical.' obviously there are more than a few indian men uncomfortable with the idea of an indian woman liking sex and not apologizing for it. makes me glad that i don't blog.
eM- even more than before, keep doing your thing. :)

I find the American obsession with 'confessionals' kind of fucked up (um, for lack of a better term) on a cultural level

I love PostSecret :) It's not even the repetition within genre that bothers me, it's really whether or not it's interesting to read. E.g., I think Bridget Jones's Diary is hilarious, and it's totally written in a quirky yet fun confessional style. I guess what I like about it is that it sounds "authentic" -- like a conversation I would have with my girlfriends, whereas SatC never felt authentic -- it always felt contrived and self-indulgent. There's not a big difference between the two, though, except for their style.

Camille- I feel like confessionals are part of a larger cultural trend in which we're 'looking in' on people's lives (e.g. reality TV) and taking pleasure in how messed up in the head/stupid/just bad people they are, but without deriving any sort of meaning from it (then again, sometimes you just want mindless pleasure)... kind of like celebrity gossip sites a la perez hilton. the voyeurism bothers me because it leads to intense criticism (especially of women) for the stupidest ass things (e.g. britney spears and the VMAs this year)... then again they can be enlightening in various ways, like 'how to make love like a porn star' (yeah whatever jenna and her ghost writer. porn stars don't 'make love,' they FUCK), 'confessions of a video vixen' and even paris hilton's book 'confession of an heiress,' haha. hm i guess i think it's weird that most of these confessionals are told from a female perspective, like we have something to feel ashamed of/guilty for in the first place, and we have to 'confess' it in a way akin to confessing our sins.

I wouldn't support anyone in my family being a rambly writer, if that's what you mean.

That's not what I meant.

ak (#81) knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The fact that she doesn't agree is fine, since obviously we are on two different sides of this...but I stand by what I said...as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior. That's not the culture I come from, period. I don't care if you people agree or not, that's my opinion.

as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior.

What about if your brother or son had a blog like this?

At the end of the day, you have to grow a thick skin, because at some point, those close to you are going to do things you don't like. How you deal with it will be the measure of you as a man.

What about if your brother or son had a blog like this?

I wouldn't like that either.

I wouldn't like that either.

As long as you don't beat them up (or worse), you have a number of options, disowning them, that kind of thing. Or you could just deal with it. Everyone has to deal with things they don't like in life.

those close to you are going to do things you don't like. How you deal with it will be the measure of you as a man.

Well, at the end of the day, the most you can do is stop talking to someone. And I probably would stop talking to a sister who did this stuff. If that means according to your judgments I'm less of a man, so be it. Or if ak feels that in that case my sister would be better off without me, then so be it...but that would be my only form of protest and you better believe I'd use it.

ak (#81) knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The fact that she doesn't agree is fine, since obviously we are on two different sides of this...but I stand by what I said...as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior. That's not the culture I come from, period. I don't care if you people agree or not, that's my opinion.

I honestly just think it's straight up

weird

when you say "That's not the culture I come from, period" (I presume you mean Indian culture) and state it's like a fact, I think you can expect to get comments from people who disagree with you. because, newsflash: culture is not static, and I see no reason to expect it to be.

eM will probably find enough fodder in the conversation here to squeeze out 1-3 new posts. :)

If that means according to your judgments I'm less of a man, so be it.

I'd only think that if you went on one of those long and unending protests that Indians seem to specialise in --- not speaking to a family member for the rest of their life, because they disagree or disapprove of something they did or said. that kind of thing. I've seen plenty of that kind of thing in my family and other people's families. And as well as being a little tragic and sad, it's also funny too, in a blackly comical kind of way.

newsflash: culture is not static, and I see no reason to expect it to be.

I'm well aware of this. But every individual has to decide where they're going to draw the line. And to some extent, I will make judgements about where others choose to draw their lines. I'm not trying to stop her or take away her freedom to do this, just expressing my distaste at it.

Well, at the end of the day, the most you can do is stop talking to someone. And I probably would stop talking to a sister who did this stuff

I cannot imagine disowning a sister over this kind of stuff and I cannot stand smoking. And for an Indian educated woman to smoke, it's more than peer pressure in India. She probably has to make a conscious decision to smoke and I wonder what the thinking is behind this, especially if you are educated and you know how cigarette companies exploited the female liberation angle to peddle smokes to women in the west 30 -40 years ago. (i specify class and gender here because I am not fazed when I see a poor Indian woman smoke a beedi because it is not that uncommon and I can see them try to handle the pressures by smoking a beedi).

So like Amitabh, I do have strong feelings about at least one of her lifestyle habits, but where I differ is this whole disowning crap. I have seen a couple of examples of Indian parents disown their kids in the US for hell's sake for just getting married to a white or chinese person. It is not common,but it really makes me wonder how some Indians would rather see their kin be a corrupt robber baron than someone who drinks or has a few lays.

Well Pradeep, I've seen the same thing too but in most cases it lasts a few years and then it's over. I have a cousin who married someone from the 'wrong community' and she was disowned by her parents, until a few years later she produced some gorgeous babies and their hearts melted. Indians can be very misguidedly proud people.

...but I stand by what I said...as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior. That's not the culture I come from, period. I don't care if you people agree or not, that's my opinion.

Leave Amitabh alone! He wants to protect the izzat(honor) of our maa-bahen(mother-sister). Hell, I would honor-kill my sister, mother, niece, grandmother, female cousin, female neighbor, female colleague if they were to debase themselves publicly by engaging in a tell-all public blog.

than someone who drinks or has a few lays.

Any smart person, man or woman, does this quietly and discreetly without it being in their family's face.

My problem is with blogging it all over the internet and becoming a media darling for it. It's just too public.

Any smart person, man or woman, does this quietly and discreetly without it being in their family's face.

that's not against our parampara? it seems your problem is more about the honor issue.

nala, I guess I think of confessionals differently. I mean, I also dislike the voyeur in most reality shows and the stupidity of most "confessional" books out there. What I do like, though, is narratives from people who are "unfamous" if that makes sense. So not things that are sensational, per se, but stories about regular people. [hence the love of books like Found and PostSecret]

Any smart person, man or woman, does this quietly and discreetly without it being in their family's face.

Amitabh: On a serious note, this is a problematic sentiment. You are now alluding to the family's honor/level of comfort. We need to stop living in a culture of shame. Individual decisions when they dont impact anyone should not be imputed to the family, clan whatever.

enuf talk guys...peace out....enjoi the pics:D

http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=15205512941904633849

oh yeah definitely Camille - this is why I really like 'Confessions of a Video Vixen.' it brings to light the story of a woman we would otherwise just think of as a 'video ho.'

someone who drinks or has a few lays.

it is well known that no one can eat just one.

someone who drinks or has a few lays.

it is well known that no one can eat just one.

i think you're getting them confused with pringles, which, once you pop, you just can't stop.

@109

lol

[hence the love of books like Found and PostSecret]

You might like Mortified too.

i dont give a $hit if strangers do these things. i would have a problem if my lil sister lived this kind of lifestyle. My objections would be based on things like:

1. smoking is REALLY unhealthy. i wouldnt want to see them damage their lungs, and shorten their lifespan.
2. I believe that there are better activities to develop ones self as a young adult rather than promiscuous sex.

I would also have a problem with a lil brother engaging in such a lifestyle.

Any smart person, man or woman, does this quietly and discreetly without it being in their family's face.

My problem is with blogging it all over the internet and becoming a media darling for it. It's just too public.

I completely agree. Why would a man or woman degrade themselves publicly? To use teenage lingo... are these people 'attention-whores'?

1. i don't smoke (aside from the one time i tried it just to see what the big deal was... my dad started smoking in his teens and it took him more than thirty years to be able to quit, so um, no thanks) and i would be genuinely worried if a family member of mine were smoking.
2. i don't drink (health reasons, + control issues), and i would be worried (and, in fact, have been) if a family member or friend were binge-drinking or driving drunk or was dependent on alcohol.
3. i don't do drugs (aside from one time i tried something, again to see what the big deal was) and i would be worried if one of my family members or friends was attaining the drug through illegal means, or if it was a dangerous drug that kills brain cells or wears your heart out, or of they come to be dependent on it.
4. i don't have promiscuous sex (i've never understood my generation's 'hookup culture.') but i'd be worried if one of my relatives or friends were engaging in drunk sex, unsafe sex without at least two contraceptive barriers, or if s/he were in an abusive or unhealthy relationship where they just got treated like plain shit by their partner.

what's up with all the 'disapproval'? what ever happened to concern?

2. I believe that there are better activities to develop ones self as a young adult rather than promiscuous sex.

i don't think that having sex necessarily means that someone can't also be doing something more 'worthwhile' with their life.

my generation's 'hookup culture.'

not just your generation. thats been around for a LONG time.

i don't think that having sex necessarily means that someone can't also be doing something more 'worthwhile' with their life.

not nessicarily. but, i think that there are clearly better things to be doing than chasing tail...

my generation's 'hookup culture.'

not just your generation. thats been around for a LONG time.

yeah but at no other time has it been so celebrated. especially for the underaged.

not nessicarily. but, i think that there are clearly better things to be doing than chasing tail...

hee. something i never thought i'd hear puli say. :P

Amitabh,

With no disrespect intended, based on your comments here I can the broader rational of your near obsessive ness with language preservation. I honestly feel that having an opinion would be one thing and trying to defend it on a forum like SM is one thing. I am not sure if all the guys can honestly say that they will not be taken aback if they came across a family member’s bog like Em’s. To be honest I will equally taken aback if it was a male or female family member but I will give them their space and respect their wishes.

There is something about her blog that seems a bit off. Seems like she has cultivated this outrageous persona (smoking, drinking being a party girl etc.)using the pop culture as her guide. She is 25 and probably not as worldly as the image she is trying to project. Nothing about her blog remotely lets me know that it is written by a person in India, all her references are to American TV shows, she writes about Halloween! Its been a few years since I have visited India but nobody I know (perhaps I don't know the right people) celebrates Halloween. What she writes gets to folks who are into "family values" like Amitabh all upset, generates controversy, resulting in more hits for her blog, now a book deal and more book sales. It also generates a fan following among those who aspire to be cool and with it. Somehow I think it is an image,it just sounds to glib to me. Perhaps it is an illusion that we are seeing and not the real person which would be OK were she writing fiction.

A comment like this:

Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter?

(by Amitabh at #49) makes one groan in despair. Why oh why is it that among certain desi males, any observation about values/ethics/taste boils down to sisters and daughters ? At a superficial level, this is an awful bore because the only kind of gaali that such men can muster in moments of crisis are maan-behen ke gaalis*. . . when there's an entire vocabulary waiting to be tapped.

Being less superficial: the quoted comment is utterly uninstructive. Some of the critiques of "EM" -- such as her prose style -- may be instructive in that reasonable people can debate them; and they might be of some value to "EM". However, have you realised, Amitabh, that all that your sister-gambit might've achieved is to convince people that they'd rather not have a brother like you!?!

* The one notable exception are the citizens of Kanpur. The strategy of juxtaposing a vegetable with a body part to obtain a cuss-phrase needs to be explored more widely ;-)

Sure, sure, when the East proclaims its lifestyle on its sleeve (and yes, everybody is just as influenced by American TV there) its an image. But the real deal ofcourse only happens in the West, na?
I'm tired of these authenticity arguments.

Yogi, you hit it right on the mark.

I am curious about one thing. Since I had already bored myself on her blog, I decided to see when she lost her virginity as that is always a fun lil voyeuristic topic. What struck me was not only did she feel pain, but even her male partner felt pain while doing it. What guy feels pain?