March 19, 2008
The Aunt Also RisesMusings
I take my duties as an aunt very seriously. Ever since I became a massi a year ago, I’ve started reflecting more and more on the important role that my aunts and aunties (the female family friends and mothers of friends) played in my life, both when I was a kid and in many cases, now. 
So, I’m not exaggerating when I say that one of my life goals is to be the best massi ever. I can’t help it that I want to be adored and worshiped by my nephew in the same way that I adored and worshiped my aunts (the sisters of my mom and dad who I called tata-French for aunt—or simply by their first names, as in Dipika or Poupee) and aunties (I can never forget the glamorous Auntie Veena in Ghana who baked cheese sticks for our picnic at the Tesano Sports Club in Accra when I was 10) throughout my childhood.
Which is why when I first heard about the UK bestselling tribute to the institution of aunty-dom, The Complete Book of Aunts, by Rupert Christiansen with Beth Brophy, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. It even includes “ten golden rules for aunts”! From the book jacket:
Of all our blood relations, an aunt offers the most potential for uncomplicated friendship. THE COMPLETE BOOK OF AUNTS is an entertaining and touching exploration of aunts in all their guises and varieties, culled from real-life, literary and historical sources.
The book was inspired by a kid’s question to the author: “Why are there aunts?” In response, Christiansen takes a thorough look at the etymology of the word aunt, the many words for it that exist in world languages, and great aunts in (mostly Victorian) literature. He also highlights various aunt types: Bargain Aunts, Mothering Aunts, Damned Bad Aunts, X-Rated Aunts, and Honorary Aunties (think of all the older desi ladies you call ‘auntie’).
We’ve all had most of these varieties of aunts in my life (perhaps not the X-Rated Aunt!). And, I definitely know a little something about mothering aunts. From the ages of 6-11, I lived in Pune with my grandmother and my own massi (the fact that I called her by her nickname Poupee, rather than using a title of respect indicates not a lack of respect but just our level of intimacy), while my mom shuttled back and forth between my father who could not leave the politically tumultuous Ghana and her children, who were getting a “good education” in a relatively stable India. My aunt Poupee was, in effect, my surrogate mother. Throughout my childhood, I saw my mom and her as different sides of the coin of grace, protection, discipline, affection, and unconditional love.
While reading The Complete Book of Aunts though, I was also especially interested in the “Honorary Auntie.” (How many of us when we meet an older desi woman—even if it’s someone working at a shop—want to call her ‘auntie’?)
“The auntie is a particularly potent figure in India, crossing several complex linguistic and cultural domains. Probal Dasgupta’s study The Otherness of English: India’s Auntie Tongue (1993) explores the auntie as “a significant fact in the domain of English usage,” quoting Kamal K. Sridhar’s view that she “functions as a marker of Western sophistication among the upwardly mobile middle classes in urban and semi-urban India.” In Indian English, it emerges, “middle and upper middle class children who got to English-medium schools address their friends’ mothers as Auntie.” This cannot be new: In The Raj Quartet, Paul Scott’s novels about the British withdrawal from India in the 1940s, the ingenuous Daphne Manners shyly asks whether she can call Lady Chatterjee auntie.”
I’m not so sure that only kids who attend English-medium schools used the word “auntie.” I’ve had salespeople and hawkers call me “auntie” when trying to draw my attention to their wares. And, of course, street kids who knock on the windows of a car or hang out by the autorickshaw asking for a rupee or two — they’ve called me “auntie” too …
At wikipedia, the entry on Indian English had this to say about the use of the word auntie:
Use of the English words ‘uncle’ and ‘aunty’ as suffixes when addressing people such as distant relatives, neighbours, acquaintances, even total strangers (like shopkeepers) who are significantly older than oneself. E.g., “Hello, Swathi aunty!” In fact, in Indian culture, children or teenagers addressing their friend’s parents as Mr Patel or Mrs Patel (etc.) is considered unacceptable, perhaps even offensive—a substitution of Sir/Ma’am is also not suitable except for teachers. On the contrary, if a person is really one’s uncle or aunt, he/she will usually not be addressed as “uncle”/”auntie”, but with the name of the relation in the vernacular Indian language, even while conversing in English. For example, if a woman is one’s mother’s sister, she would not be addressed (by a Hindi speaker) as “auntie” but as Mausi (Hindi: मौसी). It is interesting to observe that calling one’s friends’ parents auntie and uncle was also very common in Great Britain in the 1960s and 70s but is much rarer today.
I want to know: What are your aunty or auntie memories? Are there any great aunts and aunties you know of in Indian folktales, mythology, contemporary literature, art, and movies (yes, I mean Bollywood too!)? Me thinks it’s time to pay tribute to the desi aunt and auntie.
Sandhya on March 19, 2008 07:10 AM in Literature, Musings · T·r·a·c·k·b·a·c·k address · Direct link · Email post
Whatever they may be, to quote PG Wodehouse, "Aunts aren't gentlemen" :)
Sandhya: A generic term such as "Aunt" is lacking the richness of Gujarati language (may be other Indian languages too !)in which we have:
Maasi - Mother's sister
Phoi - Father's sister
Kaki - Father's brother's wife
Mami - Mother's brother's wife
I have heard enough about Aunties and Uncles ;). Let's hear more about Nephews and Nieces. Shall we?
Well I guess in Hindi too it is not as genric as aunty -
Massi - Aunt maternal
Chachi - Aunt paternal ( younger)
Tayi - Aunt maternal (elder)
Folks please add for other desi languages especially South-Indian since I have no clue about them.
I think it is in the gujju community, not sure about others, but we don’t have foi’s but faiba’s. when my grandmother died oh so many years back, the part in the name that is Ba started to really shine. my youngest faiba has every medical problem possible, she is doing her masters along with being a mother of three and a foster mother to a child with learning difficulties, working a full time job and still fulfilling her role as a awesome faiba. The world keeps knocking her down but she gets right back up. Without a doubt the strongest person I know.
3 · Bridget Jones said
Massi - Aunt maternalChachi - Aunt paternal ( younger)Tayi - Aunt maternal (elder)
Folks please add for other desi languages especially South-Indian since I have no clue about them.
Oops...Tayi is Aunt paternal (elder)
Two Bollywood movies come to mind-
Chachi 420
Aunty No. 1
In Indian porn (whatever little there is), 'aunty' is synonymous with MILF.
I was hoping we'd get going on the vast and complex words for aunt in the various indian languages.
bridget jones: in south india, (at least in tamil) maami is mother's brother's wife. chitthi is mother's sister.
in sindhi, puffi is father's sister and chachi is father's brother's wife.
3 · Bridget Jones said
Telugu:
Atha/Athayya - Father's sister or Mother's brother's wife
Pinni/Chinnamma - Mother's younger sister or Father's younger brother's wife
Aamma/Peddamma - Mother's older sister or Father's older brother's wife
Sandhya, what a fantastic topic. My masi was probably the "favorite relative" among my siblings and myself throughout our childhood. She was a college and grad student when the three of us were little, and she taught us giddha and bhangra, took us to the hospital with her (she was in med school) to observe her lab tests on baby mice, and she always had the best candy and ice cream. It's funny, because she was also a bit of a taskmaster/disciplinarian who, as a middle child, tended to side with my brother (also a middle child) on any sibling dispute. That was trying. I don't know if the etymology is correct, but my fam always jokes that "masi" is a contraction of the words "maa si" (as in, "like your mom"), indicating that a masi is always a surrogate mother. I didn't meet my bhuas until much later (and they're both very affectionate and kind, although very far away), but I always wonder if there are different expectations around which "aunts" are more/less participatory.
The Punjabi phrases are...
For your parents' sisters:
Masi - maternal aunt
Bhua - paternal aunt
For your aunts-in-law:
Mami - maternal aunt-in-law (mother's brother's wife)
Chachi - paternal (younger brother) aunt-in-law (father's younger brother's wife)
Thi - paternal (older brother) aunt-in-law
I always thought it was interesting that there are age signifiers for paternal brothers, but not for paternal sisters and none of maternal siblings.
sandhya to add to your list - periamma, athe in tamil ; chikamma, doddama,athe in kannada ; mavi, mavshi, mami, kaki, atya in marathi.
Any bongs out there ?
This is changing in some very westernised families...I've heard some people (admittedly few) use uncle or auntie instead of the relevant term in their native language...one of my family friends has her daughters call her sisters as Maasi, but they call the maasis' husbands as 'uncle'.
It's part of a westernisation process and concurrent contraction of the Indian cultural world. How many young kids in urban India know of terms like 'jeth' or 'jithani' or 'nand', etc? Or even if they know them, they don't use them. There's also a growing informality...why call someone 'bhabhi' when you can just call them by their first name? So in the same way, 'maasi' and 'chacha' and other such terms are gradually getting phased out... for now only in some so-called 'elite' families.
9 · Camille said
Camille, You are probably right. I clubbed all aunt-in-laws as aunts too.
For me, I know that when my cousins' kids call me 'mama' or 'chacha', it brings forth feelings of warmth and affection, as well as a sense of responsibility and connectedness, far more than if they were to call me 'uncle'.
*waves at Sandhya*
Hey Sandhya! It's Rekha from Chicago. Nice to see you blogging on one of my favorite time wasters!
Anywho, something I can finally sound (quasi) intelligent about!
Tamil:
Chitti - mother's younger sister or father's younger brother's wife
Periamma - mother's older sister or father's older brother's wife
Athai - father's sister (regardless if they are older/younger)
Maami - mother's brother's wife (regardless if they are older/younger)
In Kannada, the words for the first two are chikamma and dodhamma, respectively. Athai and maami are the same.
Has everyone seen this shirt? Maybe someday I'll be worthy of it. :)
I think it also must depend on the age difference. For example, I don't really refer to my cousin's husband as my "jija" (brother-in-law) face-to-face -- I use his name, but I do use the term "jija" when I'm talking about him to someone else. I think it's mostly because we're all about the same age (within 2 years). However, I definitely refer to my other brother-in-law (about 8 years older than me) as "bhaji."
"Poupee" is French for "doll"?
How has French slipped into the vernacular?
When kids or teens in India started calling me "aunty" instead of "didi", it was a sad day indeed. It made me feel so old. And some started before I even reached 30.
Then my gurubhein said they will call even a young woman that who is not skinny, and she gets it too. OK, well that didn't exactly make me feel great either. LOL.
Sometimes guys in the streets will make a weird noise and whisper, "auuuuntyji" in a sleazy way, and I guess that relates to the porn connotation.
Bengali
Khala - mother's sister
Mami - mother's brother's wife
Phuppu - father's sister
Chachi - father's younger brother's wife
Jetthi - father's older brother's wife
bess - it's complicated! my mom grew up in morocco hence "tata" for all my aunts who lived there ... (and "tonton" for uncle) ... As for poupee, my mom's sister (massi) acquired a french "petname" poupee during her childhood years in morocco. It stuck through adulthood -- and all her r nieces and nephews just called her poupee, instead of massi ... Funnily, now that I'm an aunt, my sister and I decided that her son was going to call me massi, not aunty. Since we didn't get to use all these names during our childhood, it's nice to be able to use them now. I too think of massi as "maa jaisi" - "like mother" ... plus somehow massi feels younger whereas aunty always makes me feel old :)
In marathi,
maushi = mother's sister
aathya = father's sister
maami = mother's brother's wife
kaku = father's younger brother's wife
mothi-aayi = father's elder brother's wife
So, when you talk about good aunties in your life.. I start thinking about mine! And I just cannot relate some of these kaku/maami's of my life to the word "aunty". somehow!
wud i sound like an alien if I say I haven't felt anything more of the aunties of my life than.. any other so called aunties.. = mom's friends or neighbours..
My 2 cents:
The same terms are used for aunties and aunties-in-laws, except we add *jee* to the end of the latter. E.g: Mami-in-law would be 'Mami-ji' and so on. No?
Thanks for the explainer, sandhya. I found it fascinating that French petnames would be used in Pune households.
Now I understand and I just hope the language wasn't the only Moroccan influence, not when there are tajines and mechouis to be had.
"Massi" sounds sweet.
6 · Victor Kilo said
This would explain all the hits I get from people searching for Debonair Aunty.
When I worked at the reference desk of a university library a lot of the girls would call me aunty when they came to the desk. Probably because I was active at other Indian community events and such. But more often these were young girls. Non-desi colleagues always got a laugh at this.
Are their fellow performers called Aardvarks?
I've forbidden my cousin's/friend's children to call me "aunty." They can refer to me as masi, mami, bua, didi, akka, chechi, whatever. (Many of them refer to me by my first name--much to the horror of their parents. I prefer that over "aunty" any day!)
Where is the guide for Uncles?
Bengali (on the western side): father's elder brother's wife = JeThima, father's younger brother's wife = Kakima, father's sister = Pisi(ma), mother's sister = Masi(ma), mother's brother's wife = Mami(ma). 'Ma' (mother) at the end marks respect. Kaki and Jethi (without 'Ma'-suffix) are less frequently used than Masi and Pisi. Masima is a common substitute of 'Auntie' for addressing unrelated elderly women. Didi/Boudi is used for younger women, so didi/boudi->masima is the dreaded transition. In addition to SES and English-comfort of the speaker, whether Masima is preferred over 'Auntie' might also depend on how western the addressee is perceived to be.
I think I heard about this on NPR recently but how sweet. Aunties have a very special place in my heart. When my mom died a few weeks before my wedding an entire army of them came to my rescue and made a beautiful wedding happen. I lump them all together but some of them I was related to and others were relations of the heart.
My mom's sister in law, her brother's wife stepped into her very large shoes and was invincible. My mom's best friend came from India for a few weeks and did everything my mom would have done to the T. My mother in law's friends took on so many different roles. One made sure the mandap was impeccable and everything taken care of. Another one, a millionaire to boot who need not have to; stayed up all night to build my center pieces. Another one woke up at 3:00 am just to be available to help me in any way she could. And one followed me around after the wedding to make sure I ate something.
I cannot tell you how invaluable this little word "aunty" was for me that day. I missed my mom but not her presence. She was with me in the form of 10 different ladies many of whom I did not know very much before the wedding.
But I must say I have also encoutered this kind of aunty :-)
How Indian is this? The concept of endearing all those older than us that we come across with aunty and uncle?
Not all aunts are made the same - I like pinni the bestest :) I like all my pinni(lu) :))
it's masi, not massi.
Oh come on now must we argue on how someone writes an Indian word phonetically in English? You knew what it was didn't you?
I've had lots of "cool aunties," some younger and some older than my mom. There was her sister who loved to tell dirty jokes around the kids, making her giggle and blush, and some more "honorary" aunties who would take us kids for street food that our mother frowned upon, or speak up for us when we did something un-kosher like move in with the boyfriend. Aunties are indispensable. The judgemental annoying ones you can always avoid.
Oh Aunties! The aunties in my life run a broad spectrum from surrogate mother to crazy bitch who makes rude comments to me and my mom at parties. But my nearest and dearest aunties are not blood relatives both those who I grew up with and are like family to me now. My friends and talk about the "family" our parents have created for themselves in the US and how amazing and humbling it is.
My mom has the distinction of being the favorite Masi and Phoi on both sides of the family. It's amazing to see how they interact with her and the level of respect they have for her. I truly hope to have that someday as well, but seeing as how all my nieces are young right now, I can only bribe them with clothes ;)
On the flip side everyone has that one auntie who always has some sort of remark to make about you or what you are wearing or what's going on in your life or lack there of. As I get older, I have a lot less patience for this kind of bull$#@! and I've been close to telling certain aunties off after they say something.
But the awesome aunties way outnumber the mean/rude ones. And now that I'm an auntie to my friends kids (still getting used to being called "auntie"), I hope to carry on the tradition and bonds that our parents have created.
to #31, sorry to hear your mother pass away before your wedding. That is too heartbreaking to even think about. One of my friends recently lost her mother, and so I just feel awful for anyone whose mother goes unfairly and unexpectedly at a young age .
I need to pick up this book - sounds good based on your review. Thank you to Sandhya for posting this info.
It's very Indian. It's common in India to uncle-ize/ aunty-ize people older than you. Conversely, on meeting you, people younger than you will uncle-ize/ aunty-ize you.
Also, the whole uncle/ aunty thing is not necessarily endearing. Said with the proper tone & inflection, uncle or aunty is regularly used to remind people of their (advanced) ages.
For e.g. Kyun uncle, kya ghoor rahe ho? meaning What are you staring at, uncle? Uncle here translates to dirty old man
I don't like the unclizing and auntizing of everyone blindly. I have had certain discomfort with it from time to time. But saying Mr. Patel or Mrs. Kapoor sounds so formal and dry and cold though it's not meant that way. Part of me feels like you should earn the uncle and aunty. I'm not 5 anymore that my parents could say "oh uncle ko nameste kaho". Please hehehe.
30 · bess said
Since I have a niece and nephew now, that's lame especially since I don't go to Indian parties most of the time.
:)
On uncle'ing/auntie'ing people:
I think hilarity can abound both from uncle-ing/auntie-ing someone, but also from bhen/bhra-ing them. Anecdote: My family took a trip to my dad's village, and a VERY older gentleman (easily in his 70s -- about 20 years older than my dad at the time) kept referring to my dad as kaka (younger brother), but to my bhua as "bhenji" (older sister, or at least a sister of comparable age). He tried to reminisce with her about Partition, migration, the "old days," etc. She was mortified -- she's younger than my dad and was born about 10 years post-Partition. We had a really hard time holding back laughter.
Anecdote 2: In Swahili the term of respect for an older (and I mean OLDer) gentleman is "mzee." We were out and about, and a young man -- probably late 20s -- kept referring to our group leader as "mzee" (the group leader was no more than 1-2 years older than the local guy). Finally, out of frustration, our group leader called the guy "mtoto" (child) to indicate how ridiculous the terminology was.
I always try to think of these examples when thinking about how someone would perceive being sister'd or uncle'd by someone.
This must depend on your region, because it is NOT the same in Punjabi. Your mamiji is your mamaji's (maternal uncle -- mom's brother) wife. Your masiji is your mother's sister. I thought we've done uncles before on a previous thread? What language are you looking for, lion? :)
I do it if I respect or like the person enough to raise him/ her to uncle/ aunty status. I also do it if it might curry favour with people.
The Indian stores I frequent are run by 1st Gen Indian immigrants. These people revel in being uncle-ized/ aunty-ized. Some respect, sweet talk & a few rounds of uncleji-ing/ auntyji-ing got me free food, discounts & stuff on credit.
We used to call them aunties as 'bejar maamis'. Those were the days. We used to wait for those aunties to come and dry their clothes in the mottai madis and balconies.
Agree that Mr Patel etc is really cold.
from a DBD grad student's point of view : A lot of us have aunts who we only knew about while growing up... they got married to "NRIs" in the 70s/80s and there once in 4-5 year visits were inadequate to form any kind of bonds. True, we enjoyed the American candy and California raisins that they got for us... but that was that. However, once we come to this country ourselves, we discover someone who fills in for your own parents. Their home provides with the "warmth of a home" that we miss, and we are surprised at how much they are like your own mother... in spite of having a very different life for the last 25 yrs!
I am grateful for the aunts I never knew before I came to the US for gradschool!
6 · Victor Kilo said
Chachi 420
Aunty No. 1
And two cultural references from the Occident - Graham Greene's travels With My Aunt & Rosalind Russell's movie (& later a hit Broadway show with Angela Lansbury) Auntie Mame. And of course, PG Wodehouse as the first commentator mentioned.
I don't like calling people I hardly know uncle and aunty just because there are of Indian origin.
I prefer to call them by either their first or last name depending on how close I am to them and they don't seem
to mind, in fact most are relieved to not be called the dreaded uncleji and auntyji.
I grew up in a fairly non-traditional house, but I was wondering if anyone else grew up calling very close family friends (read: people who've known me since I was born) 'masi'.
Alternately, a number of my dad's college friends married white americans, but my brother and I never referred to these people as aunty/uncle. Is this a common practice?
Does anyone know why BBC is called aunty beeb?
Abhi, it is your duty to do an uncle piece now. Chachaji, did you hear that?
Here is the UP/Bihar nomenclature on aunty:
Mausi = mother's sister
Bua or Phua = father's sister
Maami = mother's brother's wife (mama's wife)
Chachi = dad's brother's wife
Each one can be further qualified by bari or chhoti (older or younger).
When Abhi writes an uncle piece, I will be back.
Is that the origin of the phrase 'aunts in your pants'?
In Marathi culture:
Maushi (mom's sister)
Atya (dad's sister)
Kaki or Kaku (dad's brother's wife)
Mami (mom's brother's wife)
"Mothi" is added for elder aunt and "Choti" is added for younger aunt.
sandhya - great post! i too am a masi and bhua and always wondering how i can be a better one for my nieces and nephews. now for a twist on the different names of aunts in indian languages...how about niece and nephew in these languages~!
for punjabi it is:
bhaynji = sister's daughter
bhaynja = sister's son
pitheeja = brother's son
pitheeji = brother's daughter
(punjabi speakers, if i have reversed these, pls advise!)
not sure if different for niece and nephew in-laws...
In my family, when it comes to aunts & uncles older than my parents, we were taught to call them by the titles my parents used for them & append uncle or aunty after it.
My mother calls her elder sister Tai (older sister in Marathi). I call her Tai Maushi (Maushi- mother's sister). I call my mother's brothers Dada Mama (Dada- Older brother in Marathi, Mama- mother's brother) & Anna Mama (Anna- older brother). It even extends to my parents' uncles & aunts. E.g. Maushi Aji (Aji- grandmother) or Kaka Ajoba (Kaka - uncle, Ajoba- grandfather)
Does this happen among people from other parts of India? Is it common among other Maharashtrian families? Or is this peculiar to only my family?
victor: i love that this extends to different generations in marashtharian culture (or maybe just your family!) in any case, it's nice that it goes back so far. within punjabi culture, or at least my family, it usually stops at just the first generation of family relationships. meaning, i call my mom's bhua, bhua (+ her name) as well and do not have any sort of indication from a title that she is actually my maternal grandfather's sister. anyone else?
but we do have titles that delineate relationships for sis-in-laws/bro-in-laws...from every direction!
In the part of Kerala where I am from, this is what I call my aunts:
Mema/Cheriamma--mother or father's younger sister
Veliamma--mother or father's older sister, or older brother's wife
Amai--mother's brother's wife (I think this can be older or younger)
I think it's because of our matriarchal culture that the only person who has a special different name is the mother's brother's wife, bc she was a pretty significant person in the family. I am married to a Gujarati, and I was amazed at how many different ways they have to say aunt! All the words are different depending on whether someone is a paternal or maternal relative. In my family (caste, community, whatever), it's almost exactly the same on both sides.
My mema is my favourite and most important aunt-mother's younger sister, but I am lucky enough to have a whole battalion of beloved aunts, on both sides of the family and now in my husband's family too, not to mention legions of family friends. Now that I am a mom and have friends and relatives with kids, I am auntie/kaki/masi/cheriyamma/veliamma to a new little generation, which is fun and awesome. Also cool to see my younger sister & sister-in-laws develop a relationship with my daughter.
Aunts are definitely the best.
Camille, my family does the same! My masi's granddaughters call my mom MasiBa. But I guess we do it in the reverse order you do...
We also use masi/phoi generationally, which I think most other Indians do. My cousin's daughters call me masi and fiya and I call them my nieces. But to Americans she would be my second cousin - when you say it like that, the relation sounds so distant...
Also it's so easy when talking to other indian people and you say masi or phoi or mami and they know exactly what relation you are talking about. You don't have to explain my mom's sister, my dad's sister or my mom's brother's wife. I guess it practically made sense to do that because of the joint family system. I mean who wants to be confused with the mean Jyoti Kaki and when you are really the sweet Jyoti Phoi.
Does anyone know of any other cultures that have specific names for relations? I'm sure there are others...
People living in the honorific subcontinent are trained to read age and do so better than most western-raised folk. A young-looking (by American standards) friend who goes back every few years recalls that she started out in the marketplace as "Didi" (older sister), was promoted to "Mashi" on the next visit, and the last time she went was hailed by the hawkers as "Dida." Maybe that's why I keep putting off that India trip ...
Two other notable SM posts on Aunties: An Ode to My Favorite Auntie and
An Ode to My [Least] Favorite Auntie.
since ppl asked, the telugu aunts:
Athamma - fathers sister
pinni - mother's younger sister (or father's younger brother's wife)
pedhamma - mother's older sister (or father's older brother's wife)
Athaiya or Atha - mother's brother's wife
51 · Floridian said
Each one can be further qualified by bari or chhoti (older or younger).
Sometimes, there are separate terms for older and younger (and not just the qualifier 'badi' and 'choti')
Chachi = dad's younger brother's wife (i.e. Chacha's wife)
Taayi = dad's older brother's wife (i.e. Tau ji's wife)
In my family, we always used to add the 'ji' in the end. So it was always mamiji and chachiji, and never mami and chachi.
Another interesting use of 'ji' was to sometimes begin the sentence with it (when talking to elders).
"Ji mein 10th class mein hoon". Adding 'ji' in front of yes (haan) and no (na) made is sound very sarcastic.
In Kannada it is
Sodara Aththe- Father's sister [Interestingly one's mother-in-law is also called 'Aththe'!!]
Doddamma- Mother's older sister/Paternal uncle's wife
Chikkamma- Mother's younger sister/Paternal uncle's wife
There are a couple of south Indian movies (in Kannada it's called 'Aunty No.1'), which revolve around this 40 something 'Aunty' who moves into a neighbourhood and catches the fancy of the neighbourhood boys, who desperately try to win her 'affections'.
Plus, there's the 'Aunty' reference in the Aaamir Khan starrer 'Dil Chahta Hai' (the Akshaye Khanna- Dimple Kapadia romance) :)
19 · lmc said
Khala - mother's sisterMami - mother's brother's wifePhuppu - father's sisterChachi - father's younger brother's wifeJetthi - father's older brother's wife
In Bengali, there is a religious aspect to it. Khala and phuphu (sounds similar to the gujarati version, same root? ) are primarily used by muslims, hindus tend to use maasi and pishi. Chachi as well, would be a bit of an outlier. I've heard that used by my probashi cousins, I would probably have used kaki-ma. Even maami, can be substututed by maamima. However, masi-ma has a different connotation. It means exactly auntie. You would call a stranger, if she is noticably older, as masi-ma; unless she is really old, then dida, perhaps?
Masi, as well as the similar sounding mausi and cognates from North Indian tongues ultimately originate from Sanskrit Matri-Sasa (Sister of mother). Which also explains the Pishi for fathers sister in (hindu) Bengali. Of course, roots of Mami, Chachi etc are pretty clear, though I don't quite know the roots of the masculine forms (mama and chacha/ Kaka ). I am also curious about the terms primarily used by muslim Bangalis: phuphu and khala. Though this is probably not the board to ask about this.
What do Heather's cousins call their uncle?
Kilo same with my family. I have a Anna mama and everyone calls him Anna+title depending on if he's someone mama or kaka. I also have a Bhayyia mama and a Dada kaka and my grandfather was dada and Aai while mom and dad were mummy and pappa.
I thought it was just me till I got married. My husband has a Appa kaka, his father is Anna mama or kaka to everyone, and there is tai maushi. I got my own taste this summer when my first niece on my mom's side called me Rupataimaushi hehehe because I'm the oldest and all my cousins call me Rupatai.
BTW I noticed that in Punjabis and Gujju's there is a title of Mausa or Masa for Maushi's (Masi's) husband. We don't have any such thing in my family. All the maushi's husbands are kaka. Same with Atya, no title for her husband so in my husband's family they call atya's husband kaka and in my family we call atya's husband mama. Is that true with your family?
Oh also Kilo both great grandparents were known as Tathya by everyone and their kids as well as grandkids and us great grandkids all called them Tathya.
It's the same with my family. Most of us call our maushi's & aatya's husbands kaka but some people in the extended family do call the aatya's husband mama. Incidentally, my relatives from Vidarbha use the aatya-mama nomenclature while the Mumbai-Pune crowd uses the aatya-kaka nomenclature.
there's a turkish saying 'teyze anne yarisidir' which basically means an aunt is a mother's other half (and so, by extension, will care for you like your own mom). glad to see the massis are getting some (due!) representation ;)
Camille, I've heard that too. When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that after your mother, the people who love you most in this world are your mother's sisters.
On that note, I remember visiting India when I was 17, after MANY years. I met some of my mom's cousin sisters, who had last seen me as a small child...they told me that they were my mom's sisters and therefore just like my mom. I think this theme is strongly woven into the culture.
As for literary aunts, there's Baby Kochamma - nothing like an aunt who thrills at another's downfall. And then there's sad, bitter Carmen who married gay uncle Aires.
Happy Vernal Equinox, kids! (From your aunt bess, you know, the one they talk about in hushed tones.)
67 · Corporate Serf said
you're right about the religious component. i was going to mention it but i don't know all of the terms for hindu bengalis so i didn't want to get it wrong. after meeting muslim indians and (perhaps?) pakistanis, i realized that the terminology (khaala and phuppu/phuphi) must have a muslim connection. urdu perhaps?
so hindi, gujarati, kanada,tamil, punjabi, marathi, bengali, telugu has been added to sandhya's list....what abt mallu,oriya,konkani,rajasthani, etc...where is the diversity amongst readers ?
'Khala' is Arabic for 'masi.' It seems the male/paternal relations terms didn't really travel from Arabic though (3am or 3amah), neither did grandparent terms or those for brothers and sisters. Abu or Baba for 'father' and Ammi for mother are used by many desi Muslims though.
14 · rocko9 said
Hey Sandhya! It's Rekha from Chicago. Nice to see you blogging on one of my favorite time wasters!
Anywho, something I can finally sound (quasi) intelligent about!
Tamil:
Chitti - mother's younger sister or father's younger brother's wife
Periamma - mother's older sister or father's older brother's wife
Athai - father's sister (regardless if they are older/younger)
Maami - mother's brother's wife (regardless if they are older/younger)
In Kannada, the words for the first two are chikamma and dodhamma, respectively. Athai and maami are the same.
>> Good Job Now, do you also know what the relation to the kids of all these people (all relations listed above) known to you as? I know some relations known as: ammanji, athangai etc. but I was not never able to fathom these correctly. You need not enter your answers here, but may you can make a wikipedia entry on these wonderful linguistic distinctions? Thanks in advance!
78 · Narasimhan said
Sandhya...I really recommend that this would be an excellent spin-off from this post that there arises a wikipedia article on aunty in various desi languages compiled from the posts here and your own research ( though at the expense of your time :)
All this relational talk is reminding me that when I lived in Bangladesh, women were happy to introduce me to their (pronounced) "sho-theen," or husband's wife. Their children called their father's other wife or wives "shoth-ma."
Here's a page from a book called "Kinship in Bengali Culture" telling you more about that if you're curious.
- I grew up in a fairly non-traditional house, but I was wondering if anyone else grew up calling very close family friends (read: people who've known me since I was born) 'masi'.
Yes, but only for a very small number of (generations old) family friends. :) I have a Jit Masi who is in no way related to me. -
In my family, we have only one non-immediate family member that we call masi - my mother's best friend from childhood who literally grew up with her in the bhind and went to college with her as well...and eventually, the States.
On a related note, I was one of those kids who would jokingly call the younger friends of my parents (30 - 35) aunti or uncle when they would visit and act all fresh. I'm so afraid I will become that target in the immediate future...
In my Muslim Gujurati family, the pateral aunt is Faiji and the maternal aunt is Masi or good ole Auntie.
68 · Rahul said
Doner Kebab.
For some reason, I was thinking they called him David Crosby.
stoner donor
I remember the first time I was called "uncle" in India. I was 14 years old, and couple of 12 year olds said "Excuse me, uncle". It felt so wierd because I thought of myself as the same age as the kids. I guess I had physically matured faster than I had matured mentally. But, it was like crossing a threshold "I am a uncle now?!"
I have 7 maternal aunts & my cousins & I all call them ammu (begali for mum). So it would be Nupur ammu, Rina ammu etc. It's just something that developed in the family, probably because one sister's kid was brought up by another sister while she studied overseas & that sister's kid was brought up by another sister, so I guess the kids (us) ended up all confused & decided that it would just be easier to call all of them mum.
77 · SP said
Or Abuji and Ammiji if you're a Punjabi Muslim.
Though those terms are often used for aunts/uncles or grandparents too.
Anyway, here are mine:
Phupho is paternal aunt (though you can also say "bibi" in Pakistani Punjabi; my parents call their paternal aunts bibi and I call them that too). one of my own phuphos, I just call "Aunty"
Khala is maternal aunt(though you can say "maasi" in Punjabi too; my parents call their maternal aunts maasi)
Chachi is your chachu's wife (dad's younger brother). I call mine "Baji" 'cause she's young
Tayi is your taya's wife (dad's older brother). I call mine "tayi ammi" and her husband is called "Taya abu" or "Tayaji")
I sometimes call my parents by there names instead of mom or dad.
Malayalam: Ungle & aanti to be sprinkled liberally across the Maternal and Paternal spectrum; it's that simple.
Yes, you mean aanti pronounced "andy" of course.
Alternative acceptable catch-all terms are Achayan (for older male relatives) and Kochamma (for older female relatives). Other more specific terms for aunts that I have heard: "Ammamma" (I think that means any aunt on your mom's side) and "Ammai" (not really sure). Your term of choice depends on if you're a slightly-anglicized-malayali-from-the-"pind"-trying-to-appear-sophisticated [like my grandparents' generation] or if you're an anglicized-malayali-pretending-not-to-be [like my parents' generation].
I grew up using Mami and Aatya for my REAL aunts. But we also use Akka for an "aunt" who's younger than your mother but still closer in age to her, Didi for an "aunt" who's younger than your mother but closer in age to you. Both of these applied, in my family, to older female cousins too. Also, we had Paachi for an "aunt" who is older than your mother.
Don't know if these are the real definitions of the terms, just how they're use in my family.
OMG!
Reacting to 'Namesake' (the movie) which I just watched for the first time last week (rather late, I know), I had this to say about it on my blog:
'For a character that is so obsessed, tortured and defined by the arbitrariness of names, Gogol Ganguli exhibited absolutely no irony when he advises his future (Caucasian) brother-in-law to address all the sari-clad, middle-aged Bengali women by the generic label "aunty." "That will keep them happy," says he non-chalantly. As someone who is on the cusp of being called aunty (even though I don't feel like an aunty) by hordes of unreflecting kids, I want to officially register in writing my protest at this one-sided and selective understanding of the complexities of personal identity and nomenclature.'
That being said, I am troubled by the fact that my children have to address the parents of their playmates (usually non-desi as we live in a blue collar, ethnically diverse neighbourhood with little desi presence) by their first names. 'Aunt' and 'uncle' makes those adults uncomfortable. Mr&Mrs So-and-so makes my kids stand apart. But we are going to have to live with that. I want my kids to grow up with an appreciation for inter-generational dynamics.