I was chatting with a friend –- let’s call him Varun –- about books and movies. Varun considers himself an expert on almost everything. So I asked him to name his favorite books and movies.
VARUN: “Well, one of my favorite books is Salman Rushdie’s M. 
Night’s Children.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Midnight’s Children?”
VARUN: “No, M. Night’s Children. It’s the story of two brave girls who delete a movie script on their father’s computer, saving the world from another disaster.”
ME: “Wow, Salman is amazing. Give the man a Nobel already! What other books do you like?”
VARUN: “I really love Jhumpa Lahiri’s first book Interpreter of My Laddoos.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Interpreter of Maladies?”
VARUN: “No, Interpreter of My Laddoos. It’s the story of a woman named Anjali who owns an Indian restaurant in New York and tries to win the attention of a handsome IT specialist by giving him two free laddoos after every meal. She keeps wondering if he will get the message.”
ME: “Jhumpa is fantastic. Where does she get her ideas?”
VARUN: “Yes, she’s fabulous. I also like her latest book: Unaccustomed Girth.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Unaccustomed Earth?”
VARUN: “No, Unaccustomed Girth. It’s the story of a skinny lad from Kolkata named Gopal who comes to America to study at Boston University and falls in love with the all-you-can-eat buffet.”
ME: “Another winner from Jhumpa! What other books do you like?”
VARUN: “Well, I really like Chetan Bhagat’s Five Pint Someone – what not to do at MIT.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Five Point Someone – what not to do at IIT?”
VARUN: “No, Five Pint Someone. It’s the story of an Indian student named Hari who miraculously gets into MIT, then finds himself hanging out at the local bar with his friends Alok and Ryan — and the professor’s daughter, Neha — downing at least five pints a night.”
ME: “Another literary classic from Chetan! What else do you like?”
VARUN: “Well, I absolutely love V.S. Naipaul’s Half a Wife.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Half a Life?”
VARUN: “No, Half a Wife. It’s the story of Sir Vidia, the greatest writer in the history of the world, and his mistress, Margaret. At times, he actually thinks he is married to her. A certain part of her, anyway.”
ME: “That story sounds familiar. What about movies? Which ones are your favorites?”
VARUN: “Well, I really like the movie Scumbag Millionaire.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Slumdog Millionaire?”
VARUN: “No, Scumbag Millionaire. It’s the story of Mahender and Varsha, a New York couple who make millions in the perfume industry, but can’t help saving a few bucks by enslaving their domestic workers.”
ME: “I bet Om Puri plays the role of Mahender. What else do you like?
VARUN: “I loved Mamma M.I.A. And not just for the music.”
ME: “Don’t you mean Mamma Mia?”
VARUN: “No, Mamma M.I.A. It’s the story of a popular singer named Mathangi who gets engaged and has a baby, then tries to keep her career from plummeting like a paper plane.”
ME: “I think I’ve seen that movie before. What else do you like?”
VARUN: “One of my favorite movies of all time is the comedy When Hari Met Sari.”
ME: “Don’t you mean When Harry Met Sally?”
VARUN: “No, When Hari Met Sari. It’s the story of a man named Hari who loves the beautiful silk saris his wife, Anu, wears. Then one day, while she’s shopping at the mall, he tries one on himself. And his life is never the same again.”
ME: “A Deepa Mehta movie, I’m sure. What else do you like?”
VARUN: “I really love The Chronicles of Sania.”
ME: “Don’t you mean The Chronicles of Narnia?”
VARUN: “No, The Chronicles of Sania. It’s the story of a tennis star from Hyderabad who makes tons of money through endorsements and caps her career by becoming the first Indian tennis player to win a starring role in a Bollywood movie.”
Me: “I love sports movies.”
VARUN: “Yeah, me too. In fact, one of my all-time favorites is a movie called Death Vish.”
Me: “Don’t you mean Death Wish? I think it’s a Charles Bronson movie.”
VARUN: “No, Death Vish. It’s the story of an Indian chess player named Vishwanathan who beats all the Russians, Ukrainians and anyone else who has a Death Vish.”
