Hilarious!

This is a great contest and a great judge! Perhaps I will be able to play next time!

Update: Winners, please send us your mailing addresses. You can write me at V_V [at] sepiamutiny [dot] com.

noon ennui and VN,

Congrats!

Aww yaay! Thanks :) When I wrote what I did, I was thinking of someone I couldn't be with on Vday...for many reasons, but the main one being that he's not Indian.

k...i have to say the lolcats ones is my fave!

Ad: Caste no bar, no fatties.

Stellar entries! I loved 'how much percent' as well!

No, not everyone loves this winner or the one who came in second. I think the foremost criterion to judge these pithy memoirs should have been piquancy: do the six words make you go, " Tell me more about it!" Of course, humor, and also an element of suspense should have been watched out for. A perfect benchmark would have been the memoir quoted in the video trailer: Monogamists go to sex party. Marry. V.V, your own memoir cited in the earlier post fit the bill.

But I am scratching my head while trying to figure out what's so great about your winning memoir. It's simply a statement. Maybe a sentiment. What's the story, if there's one? Or is it the hackneyed summary of so many ( Desi )interracial relationships? I can bet a thousand dollars that you'll come across five thousand trivial variations of that theme if you searched Sepia Mutiny for, say ' skin color'. This memoir is the equivalent of the cloying and banal, ' Hindu or Muslim, the blood is only red ', invoked to rally national integration in India. In fact, while browsing the contest post I was irked to find a commenter expressing support for this very entry and I thought to myself, " No way, too cliched!" Besides skin color, South Asians have a weird fascination with sentimentality.

As for your second winner, the terrible insecurity of the writer in the form of a parenthetical punchline/explanation alone should have disqualified him/her. You were given six words to tell your story. Remember?

You invoke topicality while praising the Prop 8 entry. Prop 8 themed conversation has been so pervasive that it really is now more stale than topical. Again what is the story? Oh, that a gay couple in love in California were looking forward to marriage when the passage of Prop 8 rained on their parade! Yes, there can be a different angle, but does the memoir hint at it? No way! Same goes for your appreciation of the Desi-gay-boy-relationship memoir: Why is the mere insinuation of a Desi gay relationship funny or 'nice'? Maybe ten years ago it was, but since then the scandal of a Desi coming out as gay has been mined a million times. What else have Bobby and Piyush got to offer?

As for that Rakshabandhan memoir, well, that KLPR joke has been told by half a billion Indians to the other half billion.

Now Taz's memoir and Papaji's ' Burp ' one are ones I can get behind. Cicatrix's are good too but my quibble is they are somewhat insider-y; one has to be attuned to a certain niche in popular culture to get them.

To sum it up, it's not the lack of originality among South Asians but the endless glorification of the same old same old that's so puzzling.

Critic at 9: I kind of empathise with your sentiments. I had a couple of entries but they are purely cathartic and I totally not want any awards. Could some one explain to me what is meant by skin colors match in the night? What is the poignancy about it? I am ashamed to say I am over 60 and IBAD, and I do not understand how the world operates. Confession: I did not first understand about Hemmingways famous six word assay till I went on the web and find out about the poignancy of the for sale baby shoes never worn. May be I am missing something in life. Be kind to your uncle. namaste. (PS. I wanted to fuse man and math and it became an icon of erotic love. Irony!.) I love SM though.

Critic, you zinged the judge! I am in a hundred percent agreement with you. Your analysis is the opposite of facile. Let's see if this judge has the smarts to defend her honor. My prediction - she won't be back on this post!

Manmath,

Don't know about poignancy, but the winning entry sure is inane. I think it lucked out because there wasn't an arranged marriage memoir competing for the top spot!:)

Crtitic_too, back off. I can at least put up with the snobbery of Critic because he took the time to tell us why he/she didn't like VV's choices.

However, Critic did not point out which of the entries he would have picked. Come on, Graydon Carter, tell us what you would choose, so we can criticize that.

Wow, you all are taking this so serious. I was hoping this blog contest would be the springboard for my career as a world-famous six word author, but now...sigh.

Now, come on. Let's just hug it out.

Noon ennui,

Of course you haven't been serious. It shows in your entry! I am sure you are capable of much better work.

I admire your effort at rising above it all, but the flagrant deification of abjectly trite entries at the expense of unsung superior ones needs to be talked about. Someone has to show that even a Harvard educated author who is going to interview Jhumpa Lahiri in a few weeks can have poor judgment. And so to those, whose indisputably more creative submissions aren't acknowledged, don't despair simply because you weren't validated by someone with impressive credentials on their resume.

Oh give it a rest, Critic! You're ruining the spirit of V-Day! It's only a book. Look, send me your address. I'll ship you a copy of the book personally. (And if you spent as much time/energy on six words as you did on that sixty-word diatribe, maybe you would've won....)

9 · Critic said

But I am scratching my head while trying to figure out what's so great about your winning memoir. It's simply a statement. Maybe a sentiment.What's the story, if there's one?

Your mom thinks I'm too dark.

Besides skin color, South Asians have a weird fascination with sentimentality.

Imagine! On Valentine's, of all days!

As for your second winner, the terrible insecurity of the writer in the form of a parenthetical punchline/explanation alone should have disqualified him/her.

Incommensurate reactions (not parentheses) betray insecurity.

Prop 8 themed conversation has been so pervasive that it really is now more stale than topical.

Is your attention really so fleeting?

Why is the mere insinuation of a Desi gay relationship funny or 'nice'?

Reading gay into identity crisis, no?

To sum it up, it's not the lack of originality among South Asians but the endless glorification of the same old same old that's so puzzling.

So many words, such little said.

A few brief clarifications and comments:

1) The winners aren't ranked. That's just the order in which I happened to mention them.

2) As I said above, any entry that NEEDED more than six words was out. The "how much percent" entry does not need the words after the first six.

3) The judgment of any such contest is going to vary. Criticize away. That said, like Malathi, I would have preferred to know which submissions you thought were "indisputably more creative." Offering specifics for your argument would make for a more interesting and substantive conversation than discussing my resume.

Also, noon ennui and VN, still need those addresses...

Congrats noon and vn! Well chosen and well deserved.

Thanks for the honorable mention even though I was late! Another reason I should check SM more often...

Critic - Ask any gay person in Calif. if prop. 8 is stale. And ask any gay desi if our stories have been over-mined. i don't think so.

I think it lucked out because there wasn't an arranged marriage memoir competing for the top spot!:)

I wouldn't disparage arranged marriage simply because it's an often-used theme. In fact, I liked one of the examples quoted in Sandhya's original post:

Arranged marriage now sounding pretty good. - Saleem Reshamwala, is both humorous and heartfelt with a twist on a well-worn Desi theme.

Critic - Ask any gay person in Calif. if prop. 8 is stale. And ask any gay desi if our stories have been over-mined. i don't think so.

O.K., I take stale back. Your's is a mildly clever and sad take on the standard phrase, first comes love then comes marriage. I give you that. But, what is your story? Or what is the South Asian story here? This is the story of hundreds, if not thousands of gay couples. What's new?

I stand by my criticisms of the first winner, and those of two other memoirs mentioned favorably. Read them again and if you disagree, tell me why. Yes, it'd be nice to see a uniquely South Asian element in the contest entries, but the mere dropping of generic Desi names or rituals doesn't cover for the otherwise threadbare content.

I remain perplexed that the judge would overlook the much more creative entries ( in no particular order ):

For sale. Whipped cream. Never worn. ( Even though a play on Hemingway's original, this one is hilarious )

when she burps, i don't mind.

Ok without you; Best with you.

Single for Lease. Option to buy.

Marriages are made in heaven. Die.

Nani died. Nana's heart beats weaker...

I dream of you, you two.

New York heartbreak lasted a block!

You had me at hello. Goodbye.

Flatter me, tell me I exist.

I am not sure if these simply went over the judge's head or she is inadvertently condescending to the lesser entries.

As for why am I even bothering with these, well this result is typical of the favor granted, repeatedly, by the gatekeepers of South Asian culture to tired and banal content at the expense of more creative and original work. And in that I agree with the other ' Critic '.

My advice to the Desi talented is to try your art out in front of mainstream audiences first. If you are really good, then your chances of being noticed are many times more with a mainstream audience than with an exclusively South Asian one. After all, there are many readers here who seem to agree with the judge's decision.

Critic, enough please. Stop being a wanker. I suggest you become a judge on a blog and then you will have your moment to shine so that people can see what a brilliant writer you are when you pick up on literary references that fly over the heads of others.

Genius shat over the Critic's nest

covered in poop, like Slumdog kid

he rushes to share with us.

Pearls before swine...don't hate, appreciate!

Sugi, I didn't tell you how insanely happy I am that mine made you laugh!! I'm not good at lolcats (but love so much I always try) usually, so, yay!!! Will be crowing about this to Mr.Cicatrix, master of all internet memes.

speaking of which, last one for Critic: jakkin' ur commenz, killin' ur fwunnies!!

(I secretly love that he called mine "insider-y". My fondest wish! LOVE.)

Listen Critic, you could have said all this without heckling the announced winners. You talk of ' despair ' among the ' unsung , but I have a feeling that your comments have brought their own despair to those who have been mentioned approvingly by the judge. You have been counterproductive.

That being said, I myself am in agreement with some of what you have said here. For example, I still can't get over that she actually liked the Rakshabandhan memoir over the ones you mention. I also wish that your detractors would come up with substantial arguments rather than inventing puerile insults.

(I secretly love that he called mine "insider-y". My fondest wish! LOVE.)

Finally, what in Critic's behavior gives the gender away to be male? Because even I have been assuming it's a guy. Are we prejudiced to assume so?

Critic, I thank you for rising up to our challenge and selecting a list of what you liked. Sure, there are some gems in your list too. However, this was VV's turn to play judge and contestants have to be "exam-smart" (and also "examiner-smart") and learn to match entries to theme or niche occupied by contest. (Granted that this is the first of its kind here... )

Anyway, no one illustrates the niche concept better than Padma Viswanathan in this message that can be found in publicly-available SASIALIT archives. She is talking about how to get noticed for one's writing and submission. I am reproducing a part of her message here:

This is an incredibly idiosyncratic business and the best lesson I have learned is that, when you put your stuff out into the world, you are looking for that one person who will love what you have written as much as you do. Clearly, this makes it sound both easy and hard: on the one hand, you really only need to find that one, influential person who can make things happen for you. On the other hand, how the hell are you supposed to find him or her??

Part of it is luck and part is persistence: same things everyone will
tell you, about everything, but this is a very hard business and these
things bear repeating. I had a short story that...
just seemed to write itself, in three days. I showed it in a couple of
workshops: some friends said they loved it, some profs said,
basically, "Meh." I submitted it maybe half a dozen times, all over
the place. Didn't revise it much, didn't take the rejection
personally. Then I saw that the Boston Review was having a contest
judged by George Saunders, whom I adore. The BR'S editor is Junot
Diaz, ditto. So I thought I would send it in for the secret pleasure
of knowing they might have read my work. I won. A little persistence,
a little luck... and a little strategy.

Perhaps, several people here were light-hearted, and you represent one of the few trying to take this opportunity a notch higher and make a stepping stone out of it.(?) If that is the case, I hope Viswanathan's wisdom helps you and whoever else is in a similar position.