Bollywood actress Preity Zinta writes about a pair of year-end brushes with death in a column for BBC News. Her first experience came during a concert and dance show entitled “Temptation 2004” in Colombo, Sri Lanka:

I am waiting in the left wing for my finale. The music is pulsing through the audience, and the pyrotechnics are lighting up the inky black night.

Suddenly I see a man in the front row flying to his left. Then I see Shah Rukh looking to his right and left. Then I see the dancers disappear.

What is happening?

I stepped on the stage and leaned over. I saw a pool of blood in the front rows. The security men grab us from behind and ask us to leave.

A bomb has exploded in the front rows - two people are dead, more than a dozen injured. The concert has come to a bloody end.

Since we have been having a rather contentious debate about the state of poverty in Calcutta, and whether those Kids with Cameras have been exploited, I found it relevant to throw in this little bit of celebrity gossip. Zana Briski isn’t the only woman looking out for Calcutta’s children. From Hollywood.com:

Penelope Cruz plans to follow in Angelina Jolie’s footsteps by adopting an orphan baby.

The 30-year-old Spanish beauty wants to mother one of India’s homeless children after becoming deeply attached to the country following her work with Mother Teresa’s missionaries in Calcutta four years ago.

Jolie adopted baby Maddox after a visit to a Cambodian orphanage in 2001 and plans to welcome more children into her family.

Cruz says, “I love babies. I’ve wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl.

“I’ve been to India a few times and seen a level of misery I’d only seen on the news.

I went to the the first South Asian American art exhibit at a major museum that I’ve ever heard of:

I saw a queer Rani of Jhansi, she of the Mutiny, lying dead in snow. I saw a six-yard sari made of Coca-Cola bottlecaps, silver with an orange border. I saw a wall of crimson medicine bottles called ‘Blame’: blame a minority, you’ll feel better in the morning…

I saw a book of memory by a Malayalee daughter, Annu Matthew, who must’ve loved her daddy like Anna loved hers. Her father had died young of smoking. She collaged her childhood snaps into new photos, painting her own Pygmalion paternis. Then she surrounded her false memories with tobacco strewn on cigarette paper like ashes…

I ran into Kal Penn and asked him how he’ll play a super-henchman. ‘Dude, I haven’t even seen the script yet,’ he said. But he remembered the Harold hungama. Boy, did he ever. He was in celeb-out-for-groceries attire, a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes; he’s taller and thinner than he looks on screen…

Outside the museum, Shea Stadium and the World’s Fair site were wintry carcasses. The Unisphere, its fountains drained, hung without an Atlas. I stood below the Indian plate, staring up at the stainless-steel underbelly of America.

Continue reading >>

Previous post here.

Earlier we told you about the piping hot pizzas-for-visas scandal in Kannada, that frozen tundra up north which supplies the U.S. with totally non-white-bread talent like Sarah McLachlan and Matthew Perry. Ok, and Shania, I’ll give you that. A desi had publicly accused a Canadian minister of expediting immigration in exchange for free campaign pizza. That’s revenge served cold, eh.

Well, some riotgrrls up in the Great White North held a pro-immigrant protest addressed to the replacement minister. In an astonishingly clever innovation, they raised protest turnout by combining the two things grad students love most in the whole wide world:

1. Stickin’ it to the Man, and
2. Pizza

As Hominder would say, ‘Mmm… pizza.’

The ‘No Justice, No Pizza’ protest came just in thyme, but its salty language was peppered with cheesy slogans that left a bad taste in your mouth. We’d rather be nuked and quartered than stoop to unsavories just to satiate the pun-dits. And that’s my $3.25 on the subject.

“Born Into Brothels” picked up the Academy Award for documentary feature, and filmmakers Ross Kauffman and Zana Briski were on-hand to accept the award. In case you missed it, here’s a Quicktime video of the presentation, and acceptance speech (2.3 MB, 2:20 mins.).

Ashvin Kumar’s “The Little Terrorist” lost out to “Wasp” in the category of live action short. Here’s a brief clip of the presentation, where you can briefly spot Kumar (900 KB, 50 sec.). Spain’s “The Sea Inside” took home the award for foreign language film, beating out South Africa’s “Yesterday,” which was produced by Anant Singh.

Previous posts: The award for the most sepia film goes to..., The Little Terrorist, “Born Into Brothels” earns Oscar nom, & Kids with cameras

Imagine this. You're 22 & living back in da homeland. You were supposed to get married 4 yrs ago but your bride walked off on you for drinking too much. Tarnished for life, there seems to be no hope for your sexual frustration. Solution? Well, I suppose here's one --

AHMEDABAD: In a shocking incident, a 22-year-old youth of Ahmedabad district castrated himself earlier this week to do away with the root cause of his sexual frustration! Bachu Mafabhai, a resident of Sadatpura in Detroj town, chopped off his penis with a sharp blade on Tuesday morning, which according to his own confession, was to get rid himself of the root cause of his unfulfilled sexual desires that were making life miserable for him.

"I could not sleep for nights on end, I would just keep tossing and turning in bed," Bachu, who had a broken wedding engagement four years ago, told TNN.

Good god almighty.

Local doctors managed to restore the spring in his step, as it were, and have an suggestion for our frustrated hero -

"...This fellow could have resorted to masturbation..." Dr Malodiya said.

This morning, I had a vision of a meta-awards ceremony, one that honored all things brown at the Oscars. Although the Oscars aren't until later tonight, desis are lousy at keeping secrets (what's the last successful desi surprise party you went to?), so I'll let you know what was inside the brown envelope:

• Award for the brownest movie goes to ... The Little Terrorist. How much browner can you get than a movie about Indo-Pak conflict and cricket at the same time? The star is a former street child who was taken in by an organization founded by Mira Nair after the success of Salaam Bombay, so this movie gets bonus brown movie points. Better still, the movie is a testiment to desi frugality and ingenuity:

With little cash to fund his project, Kumar's hopes rested on a short script with a strong message. He posted the script on the internet, asking people to help him make the film even though he couldn't pay for their services. Kumar was also keen to cast non-professional actors, a technique he admired in Iranian film. "Around 15 people turned up from all over the world. I met most of them for the first time on location in Rajasthan," says Kumar. [BBC]


This is India's first entry in the short film category since 1979, and the first short film to get a commercial release in India.
• The award for the brown-themed movie with the best chance of winning goes to ... Born Into Brothels. A documentary about prostitutes' children who take photos of their lives, it's already won almost every other documentary prize out there. It will be hard for the Academy to resist a movie about the transformative power of film, even if the kids are taking `still' rather than `moving' pictures. [There is controversy about the film, including whether it can even be considered a documentary, but I don't think it will have an impact on its Oscar chances.]



• The award for stealth brown entry goes to ... the South African film Yesterday, a tragedy about an HIV positive South African woman facing death. The movie is noteworthy for having been shot entirely in Zulu, despite dire warnings that nobody would show or watch a film that was in a vernacular language. The film's producer is Anant Singh who worked with director James Darrell Roodt on films like Place of Weeping, Sarafina! and Cry, the Beloved Country. Anant Singh will also be working on the movie version of Nelson Mandela's autobiography, starring Morgan Freeman as Mandela and directed by Shakhar Kapur.



• The award for the brownest member of the academy goes to ... Ashutosh Gowariker, the director of Oscar nominee Lagaan. It's funny to me that the Academy has put an old-school Bollywood guy like Gowariker on the film jury at the same time that the Little Terrorist's Ashvin Kumar is saying things like

"I hope my film starts a trend encouraging alternate and experimental film-making. That way people can discover that there is more to Indian cinema than Bollywood [BBC]"



• The award for the lamest Oscar rumor goes to ... the claim that Ash might be presenting at this years Oscars if her film with Paul Berges (Gurinder Chadha's husband) doesn't run over schedule. Huh? Do or do not. There is no try with the Oscars. Does anybody think the producer of tonight's show is going to leave that one hanging? But if I'm wrong, I'm sure you'll see photos here tomorrow ...

See also previous SepiaMutiny posts on The Little Terrorist, Born into Brothels, and Gowariker and the Oscars .

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) travelled to India this week and met with Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to discuss a wide range of issues integral to U.S.-India ties. From The Times of India:

Clinton, who was accompanied by US Ambassador David Mulford, met the Prime Minister at his 7, Race Course Road residence.

“It was a nice meeting and both enjoyed it,” said an aide to the Prime Minister.

“They discussed healthcare, education, India-US relations and South Asia. It was a wide-ranging discussion,” the aide said.

Clinton also held talks with Congress president Sonia Gandhi:

During her an hour-long one-to-one meeting with Congress president Sonia Gandhi at the latter’s 10 Janpath residence, Clinton discussed at length about the socio-economic issues of both countries.

“Both the leaders assessed the growth of India-US ties from Clinton’s time and how far it progressed.

“They have also reviewed the socio-economic situation prevailing in the country,” sources said.

She rounded out her trip with an appearance at the India Today Conclave, where she shared a table with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai.

Overall, the trip appeared to be a success, and Clinton resisted the urge to make any culturally insensitive remarks. You’ll recall that at a fundraiser in January of last year, she introduced a quote from Mohandas Gandhi by saying, “He ran a gas station down in St. Louis.” Following uproar from the Indian community, Clinton apologized, and said her remarks were “a lame attempt at humor.” Indians observed this time that Clinton was making a lame attempt to hide her ambition for the White House.

The Times of India: Hillary Clinton meets Manmohan, Sonia

A Windows Media version of Leena Pendharkar’s short film, “This Moment,” is downloadable over at Cinequest Online (via Hollywood Masala). You can watch the film in its entirety by registering with the site, which is free. The 15-minute film stars Purva Bedi (“American Desi”) and Danny Wooten. From the film’s official web site:

Can love really conqueror all? Uma Balachandran, a 20-something Indian American woman is at a unique crossroads: faced with a romantic, sunrise proposal from her African American boyfriend John Ray, her instinct is to say yes. But she’s haunted by her father’s wishes for her to marry the perfect Indian man. What’s worse, Uma’s old flame of 4 years, the all-American Troy Black, wants Uma back so badly, he’s planning to storm in on Uma and John and break up their sunrise tryst. But an unlikely stranger alters his destiny. Does love really conquer anything? Maybe. Maybe not. Set in front of the rising sun behind the beautiful backdrop of San Francisco, A Moment is about choices. (15 minutes, Super 16 mm)

Unfortunately, Cinequest disdains cross-platfrom compatibility, so the film only plays on Windows Media Player 9 for Windows 98/2000/XP. I won’t be able to watch it on my trusty Mac, so you’ll have to guide me with your reviews.

Abilass Jeyarajah, a four-month-old Sri Lankan boy who was separated from his parents by December’s tsunami, will travel to the U.S. on Sunday as a guest of a morning news show.

First known to the world as “Baby 81,” Abilass was recently reunited with his birth parents after DNA tests confirmed their paternity. He was claimed by as many as eight other couples. From Reuters:

“Abilass is taking us to America,” his father Murugupillai told Reuters on Thursday on his way to obtain passports for the trip.

The excited father said he had never been out of the country and the baby had brought him and his wife Jenita luck. They are due to fly out on Sunday courtesy of an American television network, reportedly ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

There’s no word yet on who will conduct the interview, but co-hosts Charles Gibson and Diane Sawyer shouldn’t have any trouble with precocious Abilass. They’ve both interviewed the president, so they have plenty of experience with someone who doesn’t read newspapers, has trouble swallowing food, and is largely incoherent.

ABC’s “Good Morning America” airs on weekday mornings at 7 a.m., and the interview is slated for Wednesday, March 2.

Reuters/Yahoo!: Tsunami baby goes to America

Interesting stats on the $$$ behind the flick "American Desi" -

The budget for "[American] Desi" was roughly $200,000 and was released in 2001 on a limited basis -- in about 40 U.S. art house movie theaters.

The film earned about $1 million in U.S. ticket sales. Overseas receipts took in another $1 million in the United Kingdom and India.

"All of the investors (families included) were able to get their capital back, plus the agreed 25 percent," said Pandya.

...Pandya said a sequel for "American Desi" is in the works. Most of the investors who funded the first film are already committed to the second project.

Casting suggestions anyone?

The Record, a music mag out of Bombay, ran an interesting interview with Nelly Furtado:

My daughter Nevis [with her DJ, Lil Jazz] is actually a quarter East Indian so I have family there now…

… I grew up with a lot of Asian and Indian friends speaking Punjabi and Hindi. And I grew up watching a lot of bhangra, Bollywood, religious music and we even had it on television on Saturdays. Actually sometimes while I would clean hotel rooms… my friends invited me to sing at their Indian cultural festival when I was about 18 years old, and my friend’s father said I should sing in Hindi, and I really liked it. I learnt Kabhi Kabhi and I really like Lata Mangeshkar and of course Asha Bhosle who I did a little collaboration with…

I’ve already done Indian remixes in the past. In particular I had an ‘I’m Like A Bird’ remix… And Josh (the Indian band who did the remix), are Canadian — they’re from Montreal actually… It has a lot of hip hop energy to it.

Heck, with that surname she could’ve been Goan :) Here’s a previous post on the Josh remix of ‘Powerless’ (thanks, Sajit).

Yes, Azim Premji will ring the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange today (via SAJA). Yes, he’s the world’s second-richest desi and the chairman of Wipro, India’s third-largest software outsourcing firm.

But will he succumb to Street superstition and pull an Aladdin on the bull’s magic lamps? There’s a reason why they’re so shiny, ya know.

I can’t imagine that fondling a water buffalo’s stocking stuffers would be an Indian billionaire’s favorite activity. It would be better for business if he provided the same service to a highly-placed government babu.

With increased freedom in Afghanistan (at least for men, at least around Kabul) comes the natural consequence of freedom: stand-up comedy.

At a recent impromptu performance, Mubariz wraps on a long black turban - a favorite Taliban accessory - and twists his face into a scowl. He grabs a Kalashnikov to complete the look.

Then he screams at the men to go to the mosque, physically prodding them with his rifle. He grabs one long-haired man and berates him for letting his locks grow - a Taliban pet peeve. His imitation is so precise that the audience can't stop laughing.

Other topics of humor include "the radio call-in show where people dedicated songs by mullahs (minus the music, of course)" and that old favorite of comedians everywhere - armpit shaving. Except in this case, the subject is the Taliban's spot checks to make sure that men were shaving their armpits. [In accordance with the Taliban's interpretation of islamic law, hair had to be short, beards long, mustaches short, and armpits and pubes recently shaved or plucked]

And of course, everybody likes slapstick:

one of the most popular shows on Tolo TV, a private cable station in Kabul, is "Lahza Ha," (Moments). It's the Afghan equivalent of Candid Camera, where pranksters stop Kabulis on the street and con them with gags. The show is so well liked that some Afghans pray early so they don't miss it, and jokes are rehashed the next day.

Although comedy has a long tradition in Afghanistan ("comedy in Afghanistan thrived from the 1800s until the 1960s") one comedian tells the reporter that he takes his inspiration from more contemporary figures, namely "Mr. Bean, Jackie Chan, and Charlie Chaplin."

Source: In Afghanistan, comedians joke their way to civic renewal

News Flash! Salman Rushdie has found religion, and vows to fight to protect Lakshmi's honor! The Lakshmi in question, of course, is his wife, Padma Lakshmi, the model/actress/food show hostess/etc extraordinaire.

The whole thing started when Guy Trebay called Padma a "semicelebrated hustler" in his description of Padma's appearance at NYC's fashion week:

This former model, cooking show host and celebrity spouse has seemed to appear at all places and all times during Fashion Week, like an avatar of the Hindu goddess whose name she bears. In the superpopulated Hindu pantheon, Lakshmi is the domestic deity representing wealth and the embodiment of beauty, grace and charm. One of the cool things about the goddess Lakshmi is her unabashed relationship to prosperity. In the current fashion pantheon Ms. Lakshmi similarly stands for a love of money and commodity

"Witnesses say Rushdie walked up to Trebay at a National Arts Club event three days later and said, “If you ever write mean things about my wife again, I’ll come after you with a baseball bat."

Of course, many found it ironic that Rushdie was threatening a writer with bodily harm for something he’d published. He didn’t return messages, and Trebay refused to comment. But a fellow attendee would: “She’s an ambitious person with a lot of hustle. I would think by celebrity standards she’s fair game. Have you seen her Website?”

We both love desi take-out. Of course, some of us hoof it over to Curry in a Hurry, while others use a whirligig:

Rapper Snoop Dogg paid $5,700 for Indian take-out to be flown to his
London after-show party via private helicopter. The rap star ordered the food from The Four Pillars Indian restaurant in Buckinghamshire, England for his Friday night gig at London's Hammersmith Carling Apollo.

Millionaire businessman Baljit Singh surprised staff at Kalam’s Raj Indian takeaway in Brook Road, Shirley,UK, by ordering 35 dishes over the internet and asking for it to be delivered to where he was staying – Ocean Five Hotel, Miami Beach.

Mr Singh placed his order and paid for it to be flown from Biggin Hill airport to Heathrow by helicopter and from Heathrow to Miami by plane, a journey costing almost £800.The food cost £589, but Mr Singh was given a 10 per cent discount for spending more than £10.

The food was specially prepared, packed and flown to Miami. Mr Malik accompanied the delivery and was on hand to reheat and serve it when it reached the hotel. Speaking after his return, he said: “He was very pleased with it and seemed a really normal man. He even gave us a £200 tip!”

And I thought it was bad enough that my aunties would fedex fresh sabzi and roti, packed in dry ice, to their kids. And doesn't anybody realize that there is good desi food in Canada? In the US even? Nah ...

Rediff.com reports that Mira Nair has cast Bollywood star Tabu to play the role of Ashima in her filming of Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake. The film which is currently in pre-production, and scheduled to be completed in 2006, also stars SM favorite Kal Penn as the main protagonist Gogol Ganguli, described by Nair as the "fastest rising Indian American star this side of the ocean." Nair is reportedly in talks with Kate Hudson to play Gogol's (Kal Penn's) American interest. Hudson incidentally will be playing the lead in Gurinder Chadha's next blockbuster I Dream of Jeannie.

Nair said her version of the Namesake would stay

"fairly close to the book. I have made only two changes. One change is that Ashima [the protagonist] is a singer in my film because I want to use music. I love to create soundtracks for my films. Another change – to keep the budget in check – is that I have changed the Cambridge Massachusetts location in the book to New York."

More here and here on Nair's projects.

Slate Magazine carries what I am sure will one day be seen as THE seminal article, on the comparison between Rappers and Bloggers. Oh yes my friends, it turns out we are cut of the same mold:

P. Diddy gargles Cristal as his yacht sails from San Tropez to Ibiza. Atrios stares at his computer screen and ponders the effect of “increased central bank diversification out of dollar holdings.” Nelly takes in the NBA All-Star Game from the first row while gabbing on a cell phone made out of a giant shoe. InstaPundit digests the latest developments in the Dartmouth board of trustees race and takes note of an update to C-SPAN’s early morning schedule. What, do I need to draw you a Venn diagram? Rappers and bloggers they’re the same!

Those of you obsessed with external appearances may think I’m kidding. What, you ask, could those champagne-swilling, “bitch”-shouting rappers have in common with those Jolt-pounding, “read the whole thing”-writing bloggers?

For starters, both groups share a love of loose-fitting, pajama-style apparel. Still not satisfied? Bloggers and rappers are equally obsessed with social networking. Every rapper rolls with his entourage; every blogger rolls with his blog roll. Women can’t win an audience in either profession without raunching it up like Lil’ Kim or Wonkette.

Oooooh. I think despite the fact that it is only February, this could be the article of the year!

South Indian bitches are in demand because they are "flexible, vegetarian, have excellent personalities and are low maintenance” that's why Europeans and Asians sweat them. I would be remiss if I neglected to tell you that dogs and puppies from the dirty dirty are sought after, too. ;)

While Indians long to keep European breeds of dogs, many Westerners, especially the French, Germans and Greeks, as well as people in Singapore and Malaysia, prefer to get a South Indian pedigree dog, native to this town, according to two owners of a kennel here.

Ashok Kumar and Surendra Babu, owners of a kennel and who specialise in South Indian breeds, say they are unable to meet the demand for Rajapalayam dogs, also known as Paleiyakarans or Poligars. "Every month we get orders for 50 pairs, each costing Rs 4,500, from Indians and Westerners. But we are unable to meet the demand. We can supply only 20 pairs" they told a reporter.

As is common with any popular canine breed, idiots with dollar signs for pupils are involved; indiscriminate breeding and inbreeding are ubiquitous and dangerous to the breed's survival.

Rajapayalams were originally bred to kill boars. The surge in interest in this rare type of dog is affecting other lines as well:

The Kennels also have the chippiparai breed, a hound used to kill pigs which destroy fields.

Apart from the Rajapalayam dogs, people of Shencottah near here are now reviving the genuine 'Shencottah' dogs, a rare breed, with the help of doctors, says Raviram, a kennel owner.

I should thank my zealously jealous dog, Jhansi ki Rani, for sending in this tip via a very special mad astronaut. No worries, girl. This South Indian bitch flips the script. Europeans can have their boar hounds, I'm all about my German Shepherd. :)

:+:

Special thanks to "Gizoogle" for solving my title-related writer's block.

Yesterday’s episode of Oprah Winfrey’s syndicated television show covered miracles and other oddities caught on video. During the second half of the show, she ran footage of Akshay Buddiga’s performance at the 2004 Scripps Spelling Bee.

Buddiga became late night talk show fodder after he fainted on-stage when asked to spell “alopecoid.” He subsequently got up, spelled it correctly, and went on to capture second place in the competition.

This is an old story, and by now, you’ve probably seen it. In case you haven’t, or long for Oprah’s commentary on the matter, here’s a Quicktime video of the segment (1.5 MB, 1:30 mins.).

Spiderman isn’t the only heeero taking a Bombay local to browntown. Two veteran comic book artists have launched a new comic called Vimanarama about a British Muslim from the tinderbox formerly known as Bradford (via Desi Flavor).

The fashionably-tousled Ali is slouching toward his inevitable arranged marriage, but his retro-hip persona perks up considerably when he finds that bride-to-be Sofia is a babe. Meanwhile, toddler Imran accidentally unleashes the Forces of Darkness, and not just in his diaper; it’s up to jolly Ali to save the world. It’s all very soapy, if not so very Lollywood.

Never letting cultural accuracy get in the way of the almighty pound, the artists are watering down the Muslim angle:

Although his research into the religion was extensive, the author says this won’t be evident in the comic, as all concepts have been translated to be accessible by all audiences. So ‘Allah’ is referred to in the text as God and ‘Hajj’ as pilgrimage… “Islam frowns on representational art and I’d imagine that for some sects comics are possibly the most blasphemous art form imaginable”, the Glaswegian told Newsarama.

Translation: I’ll take one hit comic, hold the hitman — make my just desserts fatwa-free. The comic fuses religions with a title from Hindu mythology and a lotus-and-multiple-arms motif on the first issue’s cover. The arms evoke Doc Oc, The Matrix and Japanese tentacle porn (or so I’m told), and the beetle-browed protagonist has a Gorillaz scowl. It’s a masala comic — they’ve outdone Lahore.

Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6; and let’s not forget the comic book-inspired, unintentionally hilarious Lollywood effort International Gorillay.

The Artesia, CA City Council has decided to reject a proposed highway sign designating the area “Little India.” India West reports (The full story appears in the print edition of India-West.):

The Artesia City Council has rejected the wording of “Little India” for a sign to be placed on the 91 Freeway’s Pioneer Blvd. off-ramp in favor of a more generic sign that reads “Artesia International and Cultural Shopping District.” In the third and final townhall meeting on the issue of what wording should appear on the “Little India” sign, which late last year was approved by the California legislature, the Artesia City Council voted four to one to adopt a compromise offered by Mayor Sally Flowers.

Roughly half of the 90 speakers who turned out to voice their opinion during the Jan. 25 meeting at the Albert O. Little Community Center here favored a sign that simply read “Welcome to Artesia.” Those from the local Indian American community wanted “Little India,” as originally proposed in state Assemblyman Rudy Bermudez’ ACR-67 legislation.

Indians get shafted again. Bermundez wasn’t happy:

When Bermudez heard of the alternative name for the “Little India” sign, “I expected nothing less than the racism that has been demonstrated by the city council and the mayor,” he commented to India-West.

Looking at one of the original concepts for the sign I am left wondering what they could possibly have done to make it more acceptable?

The question that is the title of this entry, along with several other equally frustrating questions, was left on my answering machine one night a few years back, by about a dozen friends. Such is life when you work for the supposed authority on such matters. All of them had watched a Fox Television Special earlier that night which purported that men had never actually been to the Moon, and that it was all a hoax. “Did you know?” they asked. With each message my anger increased. Not at my friends but at the system that allows such idiocy to reach genuinely thirsty minds. I get NASA related emails sent by various friends to my inbox all the time. I almost always have already heard the news, but it still makes me feel good to know that people care. Earlier this week Manish sent me some blogworthy news that I hadn’t heard.

A 17-year-old village boy has topped NASA’s International Scientist Discovery (ISD) exam, sparking a wave of jubilation across his tiny hamlet of Narhai in Uttar Pradesh.

Saurabh Singh, a senior secondary student, has bettered President APJ Abdul Kalam who finished seventh when he sat for the examinations in 1960.

Kalpana Chawla, mission specialist of the ill-fated Columbia space shuttle and the first Indian woman in space, had stood 21st in the 1988 exams.

After achieving the rare feat, Singh said he always dreamt to explore the outer space.

“I had always dreamt of going on a mission on a space craft. I knew about ISD as I was preparing for IIT-JEE. If this form would not have come I would have been giving my entrance for II-TJEE,” Singh said.

I was embarrassed by this email for two reasons. First, I HADN’T heard this news. Space enthusiast that I am, how could I have missed it? Even more embarrassing however is the fact that I had never heard of the supposed, “NASA’s International Scientist Discovery (ISD) exam.”

Desi iPod parody: hot

Nelly Furtado bhangra remix: hot

iPod parody with remix: priceless!

Watch this kick-ass video (via Badmash).

Update: By the way, Furtado dances bhangra and sings in Hindi:

Furtado, a second generation Portuguese-Canadian, grew up in Toronto and Victoria, British Columbia. She was inundated with different cultures. One weekend, she would join friends in Latin dance; the next at an Indian bhangra party; the next celebrating the Chinese New Year.

DJ John von Seggern also did a Nelly vs. Asha Bhosle remix of ‘I’m Like a Bird.’ Some odd remixes are described here, including Enrique Iglesias vs. Asha and Barry White done Bollystyle.

     

Spotted the billboards pictured above while driving around in Culver City, Calif. Their location is peculiar, because the area doesn’t have a lot of South Asians, as far as I know. The first one is located near an exit for the 10, which is a prime spot. You’ll find the second one when driving east on Venice Blvd., but it is easy to miss. There might be more out there, so if you spot one, please photograph it, and send it our way.

‘Disappeared in America,’ a multimedia installation about American Muslims detained in the post-9/11 dragnet, is opening at the Queens Museum of Art this Sunday. A friend of mine has a short film playing at the installation, whose title sounds like a reference to Pinochet’s Chile. Suketu Mehta and Meena Alexander will read at the opening reception, which also features a discussion with artist Shahzia Sikander, refreshments and a DJ.

Since 9/11, approximately 3,000 American Muslim men have been detained in a security dragnet. To date, none have been prosecuted on terrorism charges. The majority of those detained were from the invisible underclass of cities like New York. They are the recent immigrants who drive our taxis, deliver our food, clean our restaurant tables, and sell fruit, coffee, and newspapers…

Already invisible in New York, after detention, they have become “ghost prisoners.”  In this, there are eerie parallels to… the 1919 detention of 10,000 immigrants after anarchists bombed the Attorney General’s home; the 1941 internment of 110,000 Japanese-Americans… and the HUAC Black-listing under Senator Joseph McCarthy.

DISAPPEARED IN AMERICA is a walk-through installation that uses video, soundscapes, photos, objects, and the audience’s interactions to humanize the faces of the “disappeared.”

The installation is part of a major desi art double-header at the Queens Museum. One show is ‘Fatal Love: South Asian American Art Now,’ the other is ‘Edge of Desire: Recent Art in India,’ in conjunction with the Asia Society. Very worth checking out.

Fatal Love features contemporary photographic, print, video, web-based and installation works by 28 emerging and established American artists of South Asian descent… because of tumultuous political state of the subcontinent, diaspora artists are again considering the ways in which the legacy of South Asia’s Independence and partition is manifest both in the local (US) communities and “back home.”

Actress Lakshmi Manchu appeared on last Monday’s episode of “Las Vegas,” (via Hollywood Masala):

Her character (“Sarasvati Kumar”), who is a recurring guest, became the the love interest for none other than Sylvester Stallone!

“Las Vegas” airs on NBC on Mondays at 9 p.m.

Actor Ajay Mehta makes a guest turn on this week’s episode of “Without a Trace,” which on its own, is quite an enjoyable show. It’s the perfect way to top off a night of slothing it up with “The O.C.” and “The Apprentice.”

“Without a Trace” airs on CBS on Thursdays at 10 p.m.

I’ve run across a few friends in the big city recently with dreams of writing a desi Sex and the City, something about our lives rather than visas, spices and weddings. As utterly compelling as immigrant stories are, they’ve been done, and done well; it’s odd to me that The Namesake and Brick Lane are about their authors’ parents. There’s a different story waiting to be written about impressionists who cross seas with ease, The Talented Mr. Ripley minus the creepy criminality.

Meera Syal’s novel Life Isn’t All Ha Ha Hee Hee is like that. It’s one of the two prosaic, non-literary novels I’ve most closely identified with. (The other is Love, Stars and All That by Kirin Narayan.) I’ve exchanged breathless words about this book with perfect strangers. Like hip-hop lit, it wasn’t the craftsmanship of the work I responded to, it was the familiarity; Syal was writing people I already knew.

As is usual in cultural matters, the UK is our Paris Hilton: those sods have not only done it, they’ve even filmed it, and soon they’ll post it on seedy sites all over the Internet. Syal has now filmed her novel as a miniseries which is airing on BBC1, the main Beeb channel, the first week of April (via Desi Flavor). It’s set in Ilford, an East London suburb which is the cultural equivalent of New Jersey.

… [Meera Syal] was “pleased” that a drama featuring three Asian women characters in lead roles was getting primetime positioning on Britain’s most popular channel. That she said was “a real breakthrough.”

Ayesha Dharker, the temptress in Bombay Dreams on Broadway, plays the simple, lovelorn protagonist, Chila. The ravishing Laila Rouass (Bombay Dreams London) plays her friend Tania, an idealized vixen who’s stepped outside the bounds and bonds of Asian-ness. Syal herself plays the author’s voice, the progressive lawyer Sunita who’s stuck in an unfulfilling marriage to her college sweetheart.

This is a female bonding story; the peripheral male characters are played by Sanjeev Bhaskar, Raza Jaffrey (Bombay Dreams London), Ahsen Bhatti and comedian Inder Manocha. Other members of the cast include Indira Joshi (The Kumars), Lalita Ahmed (Bhaji on the Beach) and Rani Singh.

Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4

I was at the amazing barbershop around the corner from my apartment the other day getting a haircut. I love my barbershop. It is an old school “barrio” barbershop with a spinning pole outside and men grunting inside as they speak in a mixture of Spanish and English. They spend an obscene amount of time on each haircut. It makes me feel very special. Anyways, as I am sitting in the chair this young Hispanic guy waiting to get a haircut, strikes up a conversation with the young black gentleman in the chair next to mine. They started by talking about neighborhood chicks that they have or have wanted to bleep, then moved on to gossiping about prominent members in the local gangs. “Yeah I know T-Lo. He’s mellowed since he been out of the joint.” I was loving this conversation. Then it got educational all of a sudden. The Hispanic guy felt the need to unburden himself by telling this black man, whom he had just met, that he had used the word “N—ga” recently while he was watching a football game with his best friend (who was black). “I think I may have offended him cause he hasn’t been the same. I’m not racist you know. Its just that many of my friends are black people who be saying N—ga this, N—ga that all the time, and being in that environment it just came out. I hope he wasn’t offended.” The poignancy of the situation struck me. This guy was asking for absolution from a black man, whom as I mentioned he had just met, for the guilt he felt over using a word that didn’t “belong” to him, in front of another black man. This made me think of my own experiences. I have never been able to grow accustomed to the N-Word being used by South Asians as it increasingly is (free registration required for Feb 14th article):

You can see it on television, where comedian Chris Rock makes the word a staple of his routines.

And it’s obvious in local schools, where students of all races concede the word - when used in the right context - is a playful way to talk with your close friends.

“I just grew up hearing it from my friends,” said Zibi Zarghese of Englewood, a student at Rutgers-Newark and a 1999 graduate of Dwight Morrow High School.

Even though Zarghese is Indian, he feels comfortable using the word with his close friends who are black. He even uses the word with his white friends.

“I was accepted in using it. I only used it with my friends,” he said.

But it can cause problems. Zarghese recalled an incident in high school where he used the word with one of his friends and someone else overheard it and started giving him grief.

He learned there are rules. Use it only with and around friends. Always say the word as if it ends in an “a,” never with the harder sounding “er.” Saying it with an “er” is always offensive, no matter what the context. And never use it in front of parents, Zarghese said.

Throughout the years, there have been countless attempts by educators and parents to glamorize the academic pursuits of science and technology. Whether it was financial incentives, or catchy tunes on PBS children’s programs, for many, the battle usually ends in bitter defeat. What they should be doing is speaking to kids in a language that they understand -- rap and hip-hop.

At least that’s Rajeev Bajaj’s theory, and the 39-year-old engineer from Fremont, Calif. is putting his ideas into motion. From the San Jose Mercury News:

Bajaj recently spent $15,000 of his own money forming an independent record label and hiring musicians to perform four rap and hip-hop songs he wrote in praise of the engineering profession. He hopes his debut album, “Geek Rhythms,” will convince America that engineers indeed are cool.

To y’all 220 million vegetarian desis: Is your favorite Asian restaurant’s idea of vegetarian food ‘yes, it has veggies too’? Do you marvel at how many ways some insidious bastards work meat into veggie dishes (pepperoni in pasta salad, rice cooked in chicken stock)? Are you sick of throwing away soup you bought without parsing the ingredients like a copy editor? Bored of restaurant menus that read meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, sprig of parsley?

Soon, you may also have to check whether your PC is made from animal products. Researchers are turning chicken feathers into computer motherboards:

To turn feathers into a usable product, they are first plucked from the birds at chicken-processing plants and then the hot, wet feathers are immediately hauled to Emery’s plant. There the “undesirable parts” like chicken heads, feet, windpipes and fecal matter are sorted out from the truckload of feathers. “They’re not a nice sight, to put it mildly…”

… Emery converts the feather fiber into keratin mats that resemble paper towels. They are then placed into a mold, layered on top of one another and infused with a soybean resin that hardens and forms the composite. The material is then put through the circuit-printing process to become a circuit board.

This gives new meaning to the expression ‘my new machine really screams.’ Ironically, the same people who think Gandhi, Jim Morrison and John Lennon drinking their own urine is disgusting, think eating cows fed chicken poop is perfectly ok.

But things are looking up for those who steer clear of digestive recycling: instead of ordering mu shu, you can now order Moo Shoes.

An interesting brouhaha brewing 'cross the pond -

Britain's food industry finds Indian chilli too hot to handle

LONDON: Questions are being raised on Britain's food industry regulations after products containing a cancer-causing dye flooded supermarket shelves.

Chilli powder, allegedly containing the illegal food dye Sudan 1, on being imported to the UK from India in September 2002, was traded between more than six different companies, allowing it to spread rapidly with little chance for regulators to monitor its safety, according to a report in The Times.

Greetings, SM-readers.

I wanted to update y'all on FRIENDSTER, specifically SM's presence on the Dadaji/Appachen of all Social Networking programs. You see, within days, we will have our 100th friendster. As any good social networking whore knows, reaching that hallowed point when your "number" is in the triple-digits is quite a warm, fuzzy feeling (not to be confused with that warm, burning feeling you had the day after SASA).

Since I often assign importance to completely meaningless events, I can't wait to know which one of you will be the hundredth notch above our virtual bedpost. ;)

To drop in another useless metaphor, it reminds me of back in the day, when supermarkets would shower down confetti and balloons on their one-millionth visitor before giving them nifty prizes. Except you're not getting any prizes...unless you're counting the enlightened feeling you have after your daily dose of Mutiny.

So to recap: no confetti. No balloons. No cool prizes. No point to this post whatsoever. Just add us and get it over with; then I'll get to focus on more weighty issues-- like whether Bugs Bunny really needs to be updated for the spoiled brats of the twenty-first century.

The U.S. may sell Patriot II missile defense systems to India, and Pakistan is anxious (via the Acorn):

A US defence team began briefing Indian officials in New Delhi on Monday on the Patriot missiles. In Washington’s diplomatic circles the visit is seen as a prelude to the sale… “If the Patriots are delivered to India, it will seriously imbalance Pakistan’s strategic capabilities and can trigger an arms race in the Subcontinent,” said the South Asian defence expert… India will be the sixth country with which Washington has shared this technology after Israel, Japan, Germany, Saudi Arabia and Taiwan. [Dawn]

Why do I get the feeling that the big kids are selling switchblades to the little ones?

Thanks to the support from China and North Korea, Pakistan now enjoys a huge lead over India on the development and deployment of missiles… It is to plug this missile gap that India has been focusing on possible cooperation with Israel and the United States on missile defence, with emphasis on proven systems like the Arrow and the Patriot. [Indian Express]

An Indian airline is now worth more than American Airlines and United Airlines combined. Jet Airways’ IPO on the Bombay stock exchange last Friday was like a hipster concert: sold out in ten minutes and 50% oversubscribed (via Varnam and Winds of Change). The ~$400M IPO (~$1.2B in buying power) values the company at ~$2.2B at a price-to-earnings multiple of 21.5. That’s a higher valuation than NASDAQ darling JetBlue ($1.9B), American Airlines ($1.5B), Delta ($653M) and the bankrupt United ($142M), but lower than Southwest ($11B).

Meanwhile, the airline with ridiculously attentive service just got clearance to fly New York to Bombay starting in April. The route stops in Brussels, which is my nominee for having the most useless currency left over after a layover, the Belgian franc. Also thanks to the open skies agreement, state carrier Air-India can now fly out of San Francisco.

It’s not clear whether Jet’s bought the JFK landing slots yet, but I’m so looking forward to flying Jet again. And if they ever launch a discount airline, they can nick the sobriquets of the American carriers, calling it Tedwinder or Gana. Like United’s discount cousin, they could chop off the first part of their name and just call it T; or, since they’re a transport company, maybe even T Mobile.

With desis’ legendary respect for intellectual property, it might even fly ;)

Previous post on Jet Airways here.

Here are two stories of anti-Sikh discrimination which I seem to have missed over the past couple of years (disclaimer: the attorney in both lawsuits is a friend). In ‘03, a software executive sued Delta Airlines after a flight attendant told passengers he was a potential terrorist:

Thomas began to harass [Hansdip] Bindra after he stood to retrieve a magazine. He contends that the attendant, who is white, told him that “here in America we have rules” and that “because of the situation in the Middle East, you have to keep a low profile.” Bindra, a native of India, said other passengers on the flight later told him that Thomas had warned them that “the man up front with the turban” might be “trouble” and that with no justification, she told them: “When I give you a signal, come help subdue him.”… Bindra said he and about a half-dozen other passengers on the flight filed written complaints about Thomas with the airline, but that none received a reply. [NJ Star-Ledger]

In ‘02, a turbaned Burger King franchise owner sued Fleet Bank for refusing a quarter million dollar deposit before 9/11. Interestingly, the New Jersey teller ordered to reject the customer is also desi:

… [Inderjeet Singh] Chowdhary contacted the branch over the phone after the bank advertised an attractive interest rate… for [a] certificate of deposit. Chowdhary said he spoke to a bank employee, Jaya Balasubramanian… On the appointed day, July 30 of [2001], Chowdhary claims to have visited the bank with all the documents he was required to produce. While Balasubramanian was processing the his application, Alicia E. Eagleston, the branch manager and a defendant in the case, called Balasubramanian aside. “When she returned, she looked visibly upset, and said I would not be permitted to open the account,” Chowdhary told News India-Times. He also claimed that Eagleston said, “We look at the customer and decide.” [News India-Times]

I’m sure Balasubramanian was thinking either a) ‘That’s cold, making me discriminate against a fellow desi’ or b) ‘There goes my commission.’

Fleet Bank was also accused of terminating Muslims’ accounts after 9/11 without cause. The bank settled with Chowdhary in ‘03 and pledged not to discriminate against Sikhs.

Previous posts on anti-Sikh discrimination: 1, 2, 3; and discrimination by airlines and cops.

The February issue of National Geographic Magazine has a comprehensive feature about Bollywood by “Maximum City” author Suketu Mehta. While he offers readers a behind-the-scenes look at the production of the hit film “Veer-Zaara,” the true gem of this package is a narrated photo essay by William Albert Allard. The magazine also delves into the Indian film industry’s less-than-stellar counterpart in Pakistan, dubbed Lollywood.

National Geographic Magazine: Photo Essay (requires Flash), Lollywood, Feature Article

Watching Bollywood films can often strike you with a maddening case of deja vu. You think you’ve seen the movie before, but you just can’t identify the what, when and where of your suspicion. Enter Bollycat (via Nirali Magazine), a new web site started by a team of students at SUNY Rockland, which aims to link Bollywood films to their Hollywood “inspirations.”

“It’s wrong to even use the word inspiration here,” said web site creator Haydur Agha in a press release. “It’s really stealing someone else’s creation and molding it to fit the Indian taste without ever officially mentioning or paying for the rights to the original content. And it’s not fair to the fans either.”

The site invites visitors to submit their own listings, and currently cites more than 100 such cases of plagarism: “Shree 420,” a story about a young man’s self-destructive journey to the top, allegedly derives its source from Orson Welle’s classic “Citizen Kane.” My personal favorite, “Dil Chahta Hai,” might have taken its story of post-college estrangement and reunification from “St. Elmo’s Fire,” and “Reality Bites.” I submitted my own Bollycat — last year’s “Kal Ho Naa Ho,” a NRI-flavored tale about an ill-fated love triangle, clearly took its cues from adult megahit “Three-Way Betty IV: Dildo’s Revenge.” Go ahead, try to prove me wrong.

The New York Times, it seems has found out what many of us children of Indian immigrants have known for sometime, that Bombay or Mumbai, or whatever you want to call it, can compete with any city when it comes to nightlife, that Bombay is a great place to visit without your parents and with your "cool" cousins, and that Bombay is really, really expensive, even when you convert rupees to dollars.

The NYT recently published an interesting piece in their travel section discussing Bombay nightlife, including an informative and expensive "If you go" section as well.

The model-turned-actress Amrita Arora was there, along with her sister, Malaika Arora Khan, the spicy sex symbol of Bollywood. Nearby, the prodigal founder of Hotmail, Sabeer Bhatia, was holding court with several pretty young things in hip-hugging jeans and stiletto heels. Then all heads turned when the television personality Kamal Sidhu sauntered past the proverbial velvet rope, blowing kisses in all directions. "Everyone looks like they're somebody," said Jaimal Odedra, 40, a fashion designer from New York, as he scanned the candle-lighted terrace. "The scene is so Los Angeles." Sure, there was valet parking, movie stars and plenty of over-the-shoulder gazing. But Mumbai (the official name for Bombay since 1995) is a megalopolis so grimy and congested that it makes the mean streets of Compton look like Beverly Hills. The air reeks of sewage and burning trash, cows roam the streets at will, and half of the city's 18 million people live in mud-caked slums. And unlike the other filmmaking capital, it is also a city where night life was virtually nonexistent a decade ago.

You can read the full article here.

A couple of SM tipsters (thanks Francis and Sachin) call our attention to the cover of New Scientist Magazine:

I’m digging the colors. There are about 20 detailed articles about science in India. I am not about to summarize them, I am just pointing them out to you science geeks (as I raise my fist in solidarity). What I do want to point out however is the following picture:

What the f*ck? I mean I guess it is just as ludicrous to subscribe to motorcycle or car magazines that drape sexy girls over the goods, but “mice?” Maybe I am not a red-blooded enough guy but this picture just doesn’t boot my hardrive. Come to think of it though I could use an optical mouse on my laptop. Damn subliminal advertising!

In a recent interview about her upcoming film Namesake, Mira Nair mentioned the following about her lead actor Kal Penn:

…after meeting him I felt that he was just the right man for the job. He is the fastest rising Indian American star. His film Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle is a big hit out here and all the 13-year-olds in America know and love him. The Namesake will be his first dramatic role. He is an extraordinary actor. He has just signed on as Superman’s best friend in the new movie called Superman Returns.

What? Oh my gosh, that is so cool. An Indian guy as Superman’s best friend instead of as a terrorist? Wait. It can’t be. Ign.com cures me of my delusions:

Penn confirmed that he will portray one of Lex Luthor’s henchmen (one of a handful seen in the film). Penn – who has been friends with the new Man of Steel, Brandon Routh, for about four years – admitted that he will only be reading the script for the first time this week and that he has yet to meet Kevin Spacey but is excited to work with him. A fan of director Bryan Singer’s films, Penn added that he is scheduled to go to Australia closer to the summer to film his scenes. His stint on Superman will last about two months.

Okay. THAT I can believe.

As promised, here is a pointer to the follow-up of the story of the religious transformation of Bobby Jindal as reported by Francis C. Assisi and Elizabeth Pothen of Indolink.com:

Not yet out of High School, Jindal acknowledges that it was “a time of constant prayer and struggle” as he anticipated the ultimate confrontation with his parents. It came, rather unexpectedly, when he was recovering from a serious car accident and his mother wanted to know “which God” he had thanked for his safety.

Jindal explains: “I had resolved not to lie when faced with such direct questioning and admitted my Christian faith. I had prepared myself for the worst. I knew my parents had every right to end their financial support or kick me out of their house. I realized the consequences of my decision and was ready to face these hardships. I had decided the freedom to worship Christ was more important than the material comforts provided by my parents, including the privilege to attend Brown that fall. I even made plans to attend a local university and had arranged housing as well as a job to support myself.”

But Jindal, who had secured his financial position with a generous academic merit scholarship, was not as prepared for the emotional battles. He was also careful not to lie to them. As he rightly asks: “Is any faith worth having if it motivates its adherents to deception, especially between parents and children?”

I’ll let you read the rest of the article for yourselves with one exception. The following was my favorite quote:

Jindal’s “search for truth” continued even though several members of the clergy advised him that in certain instances deception could be justified.

The Institute on Religion and Public Policy, a Washington-based group for religious freedom, is petitioning the State Department to deny Gujarat’s Chief Minister Narendra Modi’s entry to the US to speak at the Asian American Hotel Owners Association (AAHOA) Convention. Garavi Gujarat reports:

The proposed Modi visit comes on the back of an invitation extended to him by the Asian American Hotel Owners Association (AAHOA). The decision has also divided the organization, with some members arguing that it was a bad move to invite such a controversial figure in the first place. AAHOA, which is dominated by Gujaratis, represents around 60 per cent of the budget and mid-sized hotels in the US.

According to M P Rama, AAHOA`s vice-chairman, the organization had invited Modi from a business perspective, given his interest in inviting foreign investment and interest among AAHOA members in investing in Gujarat.

‘When we invite a speaker we don`t go by political or religious affiliation. We look at how our members might benefit. Most of our members, perhaps up to 95 per cent are Gujaratis and they would like to hear first hand from the chief minister whether the state will offer us red tape or red carpet,” Rama said.

However, some AAHOA members, who did not want to go on record, expressed reservations about the invitation to Modi. One member pointed out that AAHOA was born out of a sense of discrimination Asian hoteliers faced in the United States. The organization should not do anything to dilute its mission statement, he said.

I love Rama’s honesty. “We look at how our members might benefit.” Still, it’s in instances such as this where I wish that higher ideals would win out. For those unfamiliar, the chief minister has been blasted by many groups for his role in Hindu/Muslim violence in the state of Gujarat.

Any guys that go to the gym as regularly as I do can attest to the fact that the aerobics room is always beyond reach. You CAN’T go in and participate because then the muscle bound guys outside won’t ever look you in the eyes again. You also have to purchase an extremely unflattering spandex outfit to enter. And yet… you long to be part of a place with such a favorable girl-to-guy ratio. You would be like a lion running free through a savannah of gazelles. Is there no hope? The San Jose Mercury News gives me hope:

Jane Fonda in a leotard and leg warmers super-charged the aerobics field in the 1980s.

Now, some unlikely candidates have arrived to lay claim to the throne the Hollywood icon abandoned almost 25 years ago. Two California sisters, Sheila and Sarina Jain, whose family hails from Rajasthan, India, are billing themselves as the “Indian Jane Fondas.”

Sheila, 28, of San Francisco, teaches around the Bay Area. Sarina, 29, moved to New York City to strike it big. Together, they are changing the international aerobics landscape with a pioneering and patented Indian aerobic dance routine, called Masala Bhangra Workout. Their fourth exercise DVD has just been released, and they recently have signed a contract for international distribution.

Masala means “spicy” in Hindi. Bhangra is a traditional harvest dance from northern India. Together, the popular routine is helping introduce Indian culture through exercise, and enticing those from the subcontinent to put down the greasy samosas and skip to the right, hop, hop, hop. Circle to the left, circle to the right. Knees up. Knees up.

The Jain sisters’ exercise routine is not for the faint of heart. And it’s certainly not for the uncoordinated. In some ways, it’s all about the head. It must constantly bob, side to side, to the beat of an Indian dhol drum.

“Just go to an Indian party and shake your head. You’ll look sooooo cool,” Jain shouted recently to a crowd of about 150 sweaty aerobicizers at her popular University of California-Berkeley session.

Fascinating. MSNBC reports -

MAHABALIPURAM, India - Archaeologists have begun underwater excavations of what is believed to be an ancient city and parts of a temple uncovered by the tsunami off the coast of a centuries-old pilgrimage town.

Three rocky structures with elaborate carvings of animals have emerged near the coastal town of Mahabalipuram, which was battered by the Dec. 26 tsunami.

But inquiring minds in Amreeka wanted to know, too. From the Google Blog:

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A richer Zeitgeist brew

If you were in India, what would you search for? Inquiring minds from Mumbai to Bangalore wanted to know, so now there's a new Google India Zeitgeist. Among the most searched-for queries in January: the tsunami of course, and Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai.

Want some Zeitgeist? Help yourself...beta.

I should start by admitting that Congressman Pallone really isn’t known by the nickname “The Bruiser,” but I just thought it fit him. In any case, the Desi friendly Pallone brings some welcome muscle in the fight against the DJs at Philadelphia’s Power 99. New Kerala reports:

US Congressman and India Caucus co-founder Frank Pallone has formally requested a Federal Communications Commission probe into “offensive and racist” threats made on a radio programme in Philadelphia during a conversation with a call centre operator in India.

The New Jersey representative expressed support for a claim filed by the NRIs in the US, and demanded “immediate action” against the incident on December 15 when two radio hosts at WUSL-FM Power 99 phoned a corporate call centre in India and threatened to “choke” the call centre operator.

In a letter to FCC chairman Michael Powell, Pallone said the incident undermined bilateral relations to “perpetuate racism and hate” against a community that has “strengthened the backbone” of the US.

“I am appalled by this confrontation that took place on the radio and, moreover, I am particularly disturbed that a woman from India was the unfortunate victim,” the New Jersey Congressman wrote.

St. Andrews Perception Laboratory’s “Face Transformer” allows you to change the age, race or sex of a facial image. The web-based Java app can also morph a photo into the style of a famous artist, caricature, or even an ape.

All you need is a browser that supports Java and a digital face image (JPEG or GIF format). Of special interest to SM readers may be the races, which include Afro-Caribbean, Caucasian, East Asian, and West Asian (their term for South Asian). The whole process is relatively quick and easy. The hardest part is finding a decent photo. While you search for one, here’s a few tests that I ran through the system:

Aishwarya Rai, Actress

Wanted to use Preity Zinta (in a variety of ways), but y’all seem quite smitten with the lovely Ms. Rai. So, whatever, you win. It must feel good to win. It doesn’t feel good to lose.

Taking pity on the famously sartoriously challenged couple of Prince Charles and Camilla, Bombays dabbawallahs (tiffin carriers) have decided to join their lunch money and get the couple some spiffy threads.

They are pooling money to buy a traditional Indian headdress for Prince Charles and a sari, blouse and bangles for Camilla for their 8 April wedding.
It is considered auspicious in Maharashtra state to give a green nine-metre silk sari with a traditional zari border and green bangles to a bride to wish her luck. Zari is a type of thread made of fine gold or silver wire woven into fabrics.[BBC]

Interestingly, while a nine-meter sari may be auspicious, the tiffin carriers have decided to get Camilla one only 2/3rds that length. Is this a snark on her much derided femininity? Desi cheapness coming out? Nope - it's consideration:

"Camilla may face problems wearing a long sari, so we have decided to gift her a six-metre sari," says Mr Medge.

No word as to what headdress they're getting Prince Charles. In the past, Charles had declined to wear a ceremonial turban he was given in Haryana. His staff explained this away by saying that the prefab turban looked silly balancing on top of his ears the Prince didn't understand the significance of the gift.

How much does it cost to buy a wedding present for the couple that has everything alot, but still less than certain britasians?

The gifts and delivery to Buckingham Palace by courier will set back the tiffin carriers $60 - and most of them will be contributing. The tiffin carriers typically earn anything between $80 and $95 a month. [BBC]

See also: this previous post on the Bombay tiffin carriers.

Very recently someone asked me where we, the bloggers of Sepia Mutiny, find all our news stories from. How are we so on top of things? I told him that it was a trade secret but that it involved a few dozen well-trained chimpanzees sitting in front of computers in a basement in North Dakota, twenty-four hours a day. If PETA ever found out… You think that’s farfetched? Well, more about that in a moment.

The New York Times reviewed a book this past Sunday titled, THE RISE OF THE INDIAN ROPE TRICK: How a Spectacular Hoax Became History.

When John Elbert Wilkie died in 1934, he was remembered for his 14 years as a controversial director of the Secret Service, during which he acquired a reputation for forgery and skullduggery, and for masterly manipulation of the press. But not a single obituary cited his greatest contribution to the world: Wilkie was the inventor of the legendary Indian Rope Trick. Not the actual feat, of course; it does not and never did exist. In 1890, Wilkie, a young reporter for The Chicago Tribune, fabricated the legend that the world has embraced from that day to this as an ancient feat of Indian street magic.

How did a silly newspaper hoax become a lasting icon of mystery? The answer, Peter Lamont tells us in his wry and thoughtful ”Rise of the Indian Rope Trick,” is that Wilkie’s article appeared at the perfect moment to feed the needs and prejudices of modern Western culture. India was the jewel of the British Empire, and to justify colonial rule, the British had convinced themselves the conquered were superstitious savages who needed white men’s guidance in the form of exploitation, conversion and death. The prime symbol of Indian benightedness was the fakir, whose childish tricks — as the British imagined — frightened his ignorant countrymen but could never fool a Westerner.

When you’re certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool. Indian street magicians have a repertory of earthy, violent tricks designed for performance outdoors — very different from polite Victorian parlor and stage magic. So when well-fed British conquerors saw a starving fakir do a trick they couldn’t fathom, they reasoned thus: We know the natives are too primitive to fool us; therefore, what we are witnessing must be genuine magic.

The Christian Science Monitor focuses attention on a growing epidemic in Indian society: kids no longer listen to their parents. The cause? Perhaps it is the glorification of parental disrespect and all the “following your heart” crap embedded within today’s Bollywood songs, as compared to those of yesteryear that kept it real (Mera Juta Hai Japani).

Indians have as many words for “love” as the Inuit have for “snow.” Songwriters choose from the many subtle variations: pyar (affection), mohabbat (love, in Urdu), prem (love, in Hindi), ishq (passion), or even junoon (obsession).

These sweet nothings are timeless, but the lyrics surrounding them have changed dramatically. In the 1950s, boys and girls would pine for each other, but accept their parents’ or society’s better judgment. Today’s lover lives and dies by his or her own mistakes or inner faults - immaturity, pride, poor dress sense - and the modern concept of love is spreading at the speed of sound to cities and villages, on radios and music videos, and into the minds of the humming masses.

The result, cultural watchers and filmmakers say, is a country teetering between its traditional rules and the giddy individualism of the West, with profound effects on India’s urban youth.

“This is the first generation that believes that tomorrow will be better than yesterday,” says Santosh Desai, president of the advertising firm, McCann Erickson, in New Delhi. “There’s this sense that the world is opening up with the lifting of constraints. There is an unspecific optimism, and one part of it is economic, but the other part is the lifting of mental barriers.”

Democratic Party chairman Howard Dean took his famous blandness for a stroll by being flippant about minorities in the GOP (via Political Animal):

“You think the Republican National Committee could get this many people of color in a single room?,” Dean asked to laughter. “Only if they had the hotel staff in here.” [Detroit News]

Black Republicans were outraged at a statement that sounds borderline racist. It’s like Hillary Clinton’s wisecrack about Gandhi and gas stations:

Both Republicans calling for the apology are prominent black leaders, JC Watts and Lt. Gov. Steele… [Dean’s comments] are based on a fairly stereotypical premise that blacks are likely to be found washing dishes and bussing tables. If a Republican had come close to making this sort of comment, he’d be slaughtered. [National Review]

But conservative pundit Ramesh Ponnuru calls it a tufan in a teakettle, saying it’s an accurate comment on political tokenism:

Give me a break. Dean is saying, hyperbolically, that there aren’t many blacks or other nonwhites in the Republican party. He’s right. I’ve been to many, many Republican dinners where most nonwhites present have been serving the food. (Or giving the keynote.) [National Review]

SAJA is hosting a remarkable literary festival, an evening of readings in Manhattan.

Those reading include Suketu Mehta, Jhumpa Lahiri, Shashi Tharoor, Amitav Ghosh, Anita Desai, Kamila Shamsie, Manil Suri and Meena Alexander. Those mingling include Akhil Sharma, Jonathan Franzen, Kiran Desai, Marina Budhos, Pooja Makhijani, Meera Nair the author, and S. Mitra Kalita. Park Slope is apparently emptying out for the evening.

And the wine and samosas are for a good cause: SAJA is putting together fellowships to report the tsunami in-depth well after the initial reports fade.

The idea is to help a group of journalists… from the U.S. and Canada cover the affected areas SIX TO NINE MONTHS after the disaster and have their reporting available to a wide global audience… A New York Times story… explains it all… “All too often when disaster strikes, the relief mission seems to last only as long as the media attention.”

Buy tickets here.

Update: Please note the new schedule, which has been moved up by two hours.

A: Bal FAQ-eray. And now, freshly waxed and newly paroled, we humbly present the first-ever Sepia Mutiny FAQ (thanks, Anonymous Cow). Please add your own answers for clueless n00tineers.

The first answer: FAQ means frequently-asked questions. That all ya got? Put some heat on it…

The organization “Bay Area Unites” will be holding a large Tsunami fundraiser on Feb 20th at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, CA. Over 10,000 people are expected to attend:

The event will benefit the victims of the tsunami in seven of the hardest hit countries: Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, the Maldives, Malaysia and Somalia. The organizing group, called “Bay Area Unites” (www.BayAreaUnites.org), is a coalition of several business, civic, cultural and religious organizations. The Cities of San Jose, Milpitas Morgan Hill and Fremont are also co-sponsoring the event.

“The Bay Area is a true melting pot of cultures from around the world, many from countries devastated by the tsunami,” said Vish Mishra, convener of the event.

“Local groups are banding together to create an unprecedented event that will bring several thousand people together to continue the relief and rehabilitation efforts for the victims of the recent Tsunami disaster,” said Mishra, Senior Venture Partner, Clearstone Venture Partners and a Director of TiE (The Indus Entrepreneurs).

There is an All-star line up featuring Deepak Chopra and an appearance, via videocon, by former President Bill Clinton. But that is not all:

-Interfaith vigil led by Dr. Deepak Chopra
-Personalized video message from Bill Clinton
-Music by Grammy-nominated singer Lisa Loeb
-Children’s programs, music and entertainment
-Celebrities to call for pledges, including philanthropist Dr. Malini Alles
-Performance by critical acclaimed choreographer, Danica Sena
-Masters of the double violin, performance by Shankar and Gingger
-New perspectives on the songs Bob Dylan by ‘Mostly Dylan’
-Balinese performance by Gamelan Sekar Jaya
-Fusing pop and rock performance by Tina Sugandh

Holy crap! Lisa Loeb? Will the Nine Stories be there also? Roadtrip!

If you’d like to volunteer, and maybe get the chance to meet Lisa Loeb (“I missed you, stay”) then you can visit the Bay Area Unites volunteer page.

Stumbled upon a hidden musical gem while listening to one of iTunes’ streaming radio channels:

Anup Patel is a unique musician who combines traditional classical Indian music with western pop music. Anup proficiently plays the sitar, table and the keyboard, with his personal favorite being the sitar. Although Anup does not consider himself a master, he has been playing both tablas and sitar for over 30 years, a fact which is easily noticeable in his music.

Sure, it probably isn’t for everybody, but you don’t have to waste any money to figure out whether you’ll like it or not. Online music label Magnatune is so confident that you’ll enjoy Patel, and their other offerings, that their entire library is available on a “try before you buy” basis. You can listen to Patel’s entire album for free, as much as you’d like, and without having to register. Check out “Sweet Dissonance” and “Resolve.” If you’re into it, show the uncle some love and buy the album.

Magnatune: Anup Patel

Another miracle:

A teenager who survived December's tsunami has been rescued by police from a remote island on India's Andaman and Nicobar archipelago.

Eighteen-year-old Jessy is said to have lived on wild fruit for 45 days.

She was found on Wednesday close to the site where nine survivors of the tsunami were found last week.

Jessy is part of the Nicobarese tribe. She fled the tsunami and sought shelter in the forest. When she tentatively made her way out several days later, "the rest of the population had been either evacuated to Campbell Bay or swept away by the waves".

Her husband and year-old baby are among 1,000 people who are still considered missing; apparently, the "lucky" survivor told police that she believes her family are actually among the 2,000 archipelago-dwellers who died. :(

Sigh. I'll take every bit of good that I can get.

:+:

via the Beeb: Tsunami woman found after 45 days

That’s just great. After years of bitching about the colonialism of language and reverting city names to their pre-British originals, South Asian countries are about to lose their economic advantage. Yes, Outer Mongolia is learning English:

Within a decade, Mongolia is expected to convert its written language to the Roman alphabet from Cyrillic characters… “If there is a shortcut to development, it is English; parents understand that, kids understand that…” In Chile, the government has embarked on a national program to teach English in all elementary and high schools. The goal is to make the nation of 15 million people bilingual within a generation. The models are the Netherlands and the Nordic nations, which have achieved proficiency in English since World War II…

Mongolia, which, suspiciously, rhymes with Elbonia, has big plans for the tech industry:

“If we combine our academic knowledge with the English language, we can do outsourcing here, just like Bangalore…”

As you may recall, Kemal Ataturk forcibly converted the Turkish language from Arabic to Roman script decades ago. Turkey has done relatively well and is hoping to join the European Union. So Mongolians are welcoming their new Hinglish overlords only:

Mr. Tsagaan… explained in English that Mongolia hoped to attract English teachers… from India, Singapore and Malaysia.

You know what this means: bookshelves packed with weepy Mongolian memoirs written from the barren hinterlands of SoHo. The book covers will be edged with sensuous yak skins, yurts and thick-lipped models. That hot new novelist from Ulan Bator will be munching canapes, showing up in Granta and getting shortlisted for the Booker.

It’s Valentine’s Day. Half of the country will be f--king like wild billy goats. The other half will just be f--king bitter. The good folks at Durex have something for both camps. The former can indulge in the contraceptive concern’s wide range of STD- and pregnancy-busting prophylactics. And for the latter — nothing less than an international-sized reminder of how much play they’re missing out on.

Durex, a subsidiary of London-based SSL International, recently released their annual survey of sexual behavior around the world. The "Global Sex Survey," now in its eighth year, polled more than 350,000 people from 41 countries, and is billed as the largest such study around. Among the 16 questions, the following six stood out to me (I only listed results for first place, Canada, global average, India, U.K., U.S. and last place):

Who says Hindus and Muslims disagree about the fundamentals of culture and religion? In certain instances they CAN be in agreement. What better day than Valentine’s Day to showcase said agreement. Or should I call it “Prostitution Day?” From NDTV.com:

Shiv Sainiks continue to play spoilsports on Valentine’s Day.

The Delhi unit of the Sena has planned to hold a protest march near the Delhi University area, and have decided to call it ‘Prostitution Day’, because of what they see as a poisoning influence of western society.

“Valentine’s day is turning the youth away from our true culture and traditions. Growing commercialisation by certain vested interests is further leading them up the wrong path,” said Delhi Shiv Sena chief Jai Bhagwan Goel.

Each year shortly before Feb. 14, the country’s religious police mobilize, heading out to hunt for - and confiscate - red roses, red teddy bears and any signs of a heart.

In a country where Valentine’s Day is banned, ordinary Saudis find they must skirt the law to spoil their sweethearts.

The Valentine’s Day holiday celebrating love and lovers is banned in Saudi Arabia, where religious authorities call it a Christian celebration that true Muslims should shun.

The only good part about this is that forgetful men, who are bad boyfriends, have a legitimate excuse to show up without flowers. “Look honey what do you want from me? The Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice would have arrested my ass.”

When I was a kid, I used to devour comic books about Indian mythology. One of the best set of stories was about Birbal, the wise chief minister in emperor Akbar’s court. The Birbal-of-the-comic-books used to take the piss out of the wealthy, pompous and illogical with cleverness and humor.

One of the tales I remember was a story, pretty much identical to the one from King Solomon, where two different women claimed to be the mother of a single baby. Birbal ordered that the baby be cut in half and shared between the women. One of the supplicants begged him to stop and gave up her struggle, and her love for the child revealed her as the true mother.

These days, gene sequencers dispense justice like modern-day Birbals:

Sri Lankan authorities say DNA results have confirmed the identity of a baby who was found alive in the rubble of the tsunami disaster. Nicknamed “Baby 81,” the toddler was the subject of a desperate eight-week custody battle involving as many as nine couples… Nine couples claimed the child was theirs, but only Murugupillai Jeyarajah and his wife Jenita followed through, providing DNA samples.

From StrategyPage -

February 14, 2005: A new CIA report predicts that Pakistan may well come apart in the next decade. Corruption and poor government are making Islamic radicalism more popular, especially in the Pushtun (northwest) and Baluchi (southwest) tribal areas. Most of the population is not tribal. In fact, about have the population is in one province, Punjab. When India and Pakistan were formed in 1947, Punjab was split, with about 70 percent of it going to Pakistan. The Indian portion, with better government and less corruption, has done more than twice as well as the Pakistani part (on a per-capita basis). India also has problems with tribal separatists (in the northeast), but in Pakistan the tribes comprise a larger portion of the population (at least ten percent.) It's expensive to fight the tribes, and the Baluchis are eager to take control of the lucrative natural gas fields operating in Baluchistan. The CIA report sees the country coming apart along ethnic lines, much like Yugoslavia did in the 1990s. This would create a Punjabi state, with at least half the population, plus Pushtun and Baluchi states, plus one or two more. The big question is what would happen to Pakistan's nuclear weapons. The Pakistanis dismiss the report, pointing out that, while they created the mess, they've also learned to deal with it.

Personally, this whole scenario feels a bit far fetched... But, I'm just the messenger ;-)

Little Malayalee kids are so cute:

Dubai: A nine-year-old girl from Kerala has won 100 kg of gold, worth about Rs.60 million in India, in the world's biggest gold promotion event at the Dubai Shopping Festival 2005, it was announced here Sunday.

"I don't know the value in rupees, but I know 100 kg is a lot of gold," said Shakiba Asif, when told that she had won the prize. The family had got a coupon for Dh.250 (about 3,000 rupees) that won the grand prize.

The 10th Dubai Shopping Festival, which ended Saturday, has proved to be lucky for the Asif family from Malapuram in Kerala, though Shakiba said she did not know the number of zeroes in the total value of the gold she had won.

But what Shakiba - a fourth standard student at a school here who nurses the hope of becoming a doctor - was sure that she wanted to buy "a lot of new dresses". And what is a lot?

"Two", she said promptly. "Also I want to give sweets to my schoolmates."

A big TY to our favourite gori Andrea for leaving the link in my diary's comments. I love posting about sweet things. Speaking of, who among you sweet things wants to take me to next year's shopping festival? I saw an excellent segment on this extravaganza while watching the PBS show i adore most-- Globetrekker. Dubai sounds like my kind of town. ;)

The article itself isn't as "directly" brown as everything else we dissect or publish here, but the subject matter is familiar enough-- even if it doesn't explicitly mention south asians:

...parents, relatives or a designated member of the community took on the sacred task of arranging for a young person to create a new household, thus ensuring the continuity and stability of society. Although in much of the world that tradition continues, in our mainstream culture of individual choice and romantic self-determination, finding your own mate is a rite of passage, an exercise in autogenesis.

Among certain immigrant groups in this country, like those from Southeast Asia and Africa, ancient traditions of arranging marriages continue. In the Jewish tradition, arranging three marriages secures you a place in heaven. Ultra-Orthodox marriages are routinely arranged, and conservative communities often have informal matchmakers.

I am so curious about the "Southeast" reference...does she mean to include us within that inaccurate phrasing? Or is she the last human alive to know that we're all about the auntie-facilitated set-up?

No matter what the author meant, it's a fascinating piece from the NYT magazine. I'll totally vouch for it. Oh, and if you're going to take my word for it and try to read the rest, but you don't have a username/pw for the site, there are ways around that.

:+:

The Grey Lady: "The New Arranged Marriage"

*Shadchen: yiddish word for "matchmaker"

Shortly after the Tsunami I posted an entry giving readers a “heads up” that they should research the organizations that they donate money to. Not all organizations are what they seem at the surface, and money sometimes flows in misguided ways. Just as an example I linked to Campaign to Stop Funding Hate website. I unintentionally but wrongfully implied that the accusations made on that website against certain aid groups were legitimate. Judging by the numerous and lengthy comments left by readers (including the spokesman for CSFH) this is a subject more controversial than I had imagined. Earlier this week the U.K. Charity commission absolved one of the relief organizations that the Campaign to Stop Funding hate had singled out. As reported in the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

The leader of a Duluth-based relief organization says he feels vindicated by a British government report clearing the group’s sister charity of wrongdoing in India.

The U.K. Charity Commission concluded that 2.3 million British pounds raised by Sewa International — Sewa International USA’s affiliate in the United Kingdom — indeed went to help rebuild six Indian villages devastated by a 2001 earthquake in Gujarat state.

Hate group watchdogs had accused Sewa International of using the donations to support Hindu nationalists they say foment violence against Christians, Muslims and other minorities in India. There are no such accusations against the recently created Sewa International USA, but the watchdogs had issued warnings against any group affiliated with Sewa International following India’s latest natural disaster, the Indian Ocean tsunamis.

The Campaign to Stop Funding Hate (who according to Seva “are largely made up of Communist intellectuals bent on disrupting the activities of Hindu groups”) isn’t convinced however:

The two hate-group watchdogs — a U.S.-based network of activists called the Campaign to Stop Funding Hate and the British group Awaaz-South Asia Watch — said the report was flawed. They noted that India denied visas to British investigators, making it impossible for them to check for themselves how the funds were actually used. The charity commission’s conclusions were based partly on a report by 30 donors who witnessed the reconstruction work and new schools as part of a visit arranged by Sewa International.

“One has to question where the Charity Commission is getting its information from,” said Ra Ravishankar, a spokesman for the Campaign to Stop Funding Hate.

Fresh from evangelist Benny Hinn’s miracle healings, the Jakkur airfield outside Bangalore hosted India’s version of the Blue Angels for an aviation expo where India’s surging airlines placed orders for new planes.

The Surya Kiran (Sunrays) precision flying team looks fantastic, but even to these non-military eyes they don’t cluster as tightly as the Blue Angels. They fly Kiran Mark II trainers instead of the more capable F/A-18 Hornets; these stubby trainers handle forgivingly but are slower than front-line fighters. So they use the patented Indian solution of throwing manpower at the problem by using 50% more pilots on the team :)

In case there’s any confusion, adopting a child from India is nothing like buying an end table from Target — you do not get to return the former if he or she does not work out in your home.

Shockingly enough, there are otherwise intelligent and reasonable adults who do not grasp this distinction. On a recent episode of “Dr. Phil,” the underlying point needed to be drilled home to Melissa and Bobby, a married couple that adopted a child from India named AJ:

When they brought AJ home, things were not what they expected. “He did not want to be held by us. He would cry and kick and scream whenever we tried to hold him,” Melissa explains. “We’re kind of like, ‘What happened? Where did things go wrong?’ I do not love AJ and I wonder if I ever will.”

Melissa and Bobby also learned that AJ has special needs. “I feel resentful. I didn’t bargain for that,” says Melissa. “I’ve told him, ‘I wish we never adopted you,’ and I call him stupid. I thought I would grow to love him, but I feel like I’m forcing myself to love him.”

There are two things in this world that you just don’t f--k with:
1. Wu-Tang Clan (obviously)
2. Dr. Phil

The imposing Texan laid the smackdown on Melissa, and made hapless Bobby watch, ’cause that’s how Dr. Phil rolls:

India’s gender imbalance is widening its gap, and officials are placing blame on the practice of female infanticide and sex-selective abortions. Uma Girish writes in The Christian Science Monitor:

Though the government has battled the practice for decades, India’s gender imbalance has worsened in recent years. Any progress toward halting infanticide, it seems, has been offset by a rise in sex-selective abortions. Too many couples - aided by medical technology, unethical doctors, and weak enforcement of laws banning abortion on the basis of gender - are electing to end a pregnancy if the fetus is female.

The consequence of female infanticide and, more recently, abortion is India’s awkwardly skewed gender ratio, among the most imbalanced in the world. The ratio among children up to the age of 6 was 962 girls per 1,000 boys in 1981, but 20 years later the inequity was actually worse: 927 girls per 1,000 boys.

The Christian Science Monitor/Yahoo!: For India’s daughters, a dark birth day

Indian photographer Arko Datta has won the prestigious 2004 World Press Photo Award for his picture of this Indian woman genuflecting in absolute sorrow at the death of a relative killed in the Asian tsunami. The Voice of America reports:

The picture, taken by Reuters photographer Arko Datta, shows a woman lying on sandy ground with her hands turned toward the sky. The hand of a dead relative is visible nearby.

The photo, taken in Cuddalore in India’s Tamil Nadu state two days after the December 26 tsunami, was one of nearly 70,000 pictures submitted by professional photographers from 123 countries.

One of the judges, Kathy Ryan from The New York Times called the image graphic, historic and starkly emotional.

Mr. Datta will receive the distinguished award, along with nearly $13,000, in a special ceremony in Amsterdam in April.

I am drawn to the edge of the picture but dare not seek to uncover what lies beyond. It is as if the left edge represents the divide between this world and the next. From our vantage point it seems we have been thrust upon the scene to either speak some words of comfort to this woman or administer last rights to the dead.

But know that by whom this entire body is pervaded, is indestructible. No one is able to cause the destruction of the imperishable soul. —Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2 verse 17

The Atlantic Monthly’s Abigail Cutter lists the ten most notable security barriers of the post-WWII era. Surrounded by less-than-friendly neighbors, there’s no way India is staying of this list:

5. India/Bangladesh: Aiming to curb infiltration from its neighbor, India in 1986 sanctioned what will ultimately be a 2,043-mile barbed-wire barrier. It’s expected to cost $1 billion by the time it is completed, next year.

6. India/Pakistan: In 1989 India began erecting a fence to stem the flow of arms from Pakistan. So far it has installed more than 700 miles of fencing, much of which is electrified and stands in the disputed Kashmir region. The anti-terrorist barriers will eventually run the entire 1,800-mile border with Pakistan.

Of more relevancy was number eight on the list — a fourteen-mile fence separating San Diego from Tijuana — which has made it a real pain for me, er, I mean, my friend Lupa Letap, to score cheap prescription meds.

The Atlantic Monthly: Security fences (subscription required)

Salon writer Cara Anna became a Bollywood extra through casting agents who stalk backpacker hostels in Bombay. She played many a blank, blond backup dancer, getting a taste of reverse exoticization (via Attempt to Be Hip):

[Casting agents] wait patiently… skimming over the dirty and the clearly stoned, looking for the freshest faces… Lonely Planet guidebooks in hand… Want to be in a film? Just get in this car…Westerners resemble certain Mexican laborers — picked up from street corners, without the proper work papers, by shady middlemen who keep a generous dose of a long day’s pay for themselves…

I could… eavesdrop on actors complaining about Bollywood’s gay casting couch. Being foreign and assumed ignorant, I was harmless…  I not only met stars but became a casting agent, a dancer, a pitch-making screenwriter, a documentary assistant and an aspiring film journalist, all in less than four months…

I met a man from New York who, knowing nothing about Bollywood, became a bodyguard for one of India’s biggest actors. He worked his new connections, appearing in runway shows, and made the Mumbai tabloids as the rumored new lover of a dimpled starlet.

You guys have heard a similar story before I’m sure, but this stuff never gets old. GG2.net reports:

An American online store selling womens` undergarments featuring images of Hindu Gods and religious icons has angered members of the community who have demanded their immediate withdrawal from the website.

In an ad for womens` thongs, Cafe-Press.com has on display hundred per cent cotton `Hindu God Shiva classic thong` priced at USD 12.99 with the religious deity`s face, another called `iGod Shiva Classic thong` for USD 15 makes a statement “Namaste it loud. Your`re Hindu and you`re proud.”

The `Om Classic Thong` priced at USD 8.99 explains “Om or rather aum is a sacred Hindu symbol that represents the absolute.”

Leading the protest for the products withdrawal is the American Hindus Against Defamation (AHAD), the largest Hindu anti-defamation group in North America comprising several Hindu organisations.

But all is well that ends well:

The protests had borne fruit with CafePress withdrawing the product line from its site.

Oh yeah? Then what is this?

I just don’t get my panties in a bunch over stuff like this though. There were other items however that did get my attention.

Brief article in MSNBC about Asha Bhosle's latest venture - an upscale Desi restaurant in the UK -

When British pubs shut their doors just after 11 p.m. Burch, and thousands like him, will complete a typical night out by staggering up the road to wash down all that beer with a hybrid Anglo-Indian mix of foods that most Britons call "curry".

"There is only one place to head to after the pubs have shut and that's for a curry," said Burch. "The most important thing is to have eight pints before you go, then the hotter the curry the better. It's an English tradition."

... Bhosle, who already has restaurants in Kuwait and Dubai, will provide her name, the decor, music and a rich menu of authentic northwest Indian cuisine to tempt patrons away from the Bengali-inspired dishes that dominate British curry houses.

The two entrepreneurs are also hoping the popularity of the 71-year-old singer, who was the muse for the 1997 hit pop song "Brimful of Asha" will be a lure for emigre Indians.

... Britain's Food Standards Agency said in its 2003 "Curry Factfile" that 2.5 million consumers tuck into "an Indian" every week and that the industy as a whole is worth some 3.2 billion pounds ($5.96 billion).

Some 23 million portions of chicken tikka masala are eaten each year and it is estimated there are more Indian restaurants in London than in Delhi and Bombay.

8 Pints of beer, eh?

In the last few months of the Mutiny, we’ve been thrilled that we don’t have to pay y’all to read our stuff :) But, we’d very much appreciate if those who quote us would extend the same courtesies that we do:

• Please excerpt posts, don’t snarf the whole thing
• Please credit us or the individual author and link directly to the post, not just the home page

Details are here:  

Thanks, and happy blogging!

(Also for your consideration, the strange case of the cut ‘n paste artist who hit some sister blogs.)

You know how your desi mom totes around lal mirch in her purse because everything’s just too damn bland? And how embarrassing it is when she whips it out at restaurants, hunched over like it was a bottle of Night Train? This is just like that, but classier because, um, you’re epicurious: here’s my favorite Indian food hack from my bachelor kitchen.

At most grocery stores, you can buy tortelloni or ravioli stuffed with fillings such as sun-dried tomatoes and cheese. Try boiling the tortelloni for five minutes, ladling on spaghetti sauce and adding the secret topping: generous scoops of chutney powder, a.k.a. idli masala. It’s a yellow-orange spice mix that morphs the flavor of ravioli into something as delicious as dum aloo. It’s easier than fixing a sandwich, and it is absolutely sabroso. I’ve eaten it for six months and I’m still not sick of it.

And I’m not the only Marco Pulao running around. The desi pizza joints of Jersey City and Jackson Heights, and my own family, are famous for their Indian reimagining of hot pie. Dumpling Man, who makes fresh, thin-skinned Chinese dumplings, offers a spaghetti sauce option. I pitched him a chutney powder topping in a note scribbled on the back of a business card; when I left, I think he was laughing.

Here’s an older, non-Italian favorite which I eventually wore out: toasted onion rolls with spicy hummus, pepperjack cheese and the secret ingredient: mango achar. Please, for the love of Bacchus, share your own favorite food hack here in the comments.

Lisa Hazamoon Cahill, an Indian American who was formerly one of New York’s finest, is pissed and humiliated. The New York Daily News explains why:

One of the NYPD’s few Indian officers charges she was treated like a maid by her sergeant, who allegedly ordered her to wash and iron his shirts at Police Headquarters.

“He forced me to … I’m so embarrassed, so ashamed,” Lisa Hazamoon Cahill, 33, told the Daily News in an exclusive interview. “I couldn’t refuse. He wasn’t asking me, he was telling me.

“Maybe he thought because I was Indian, he thought I was submissive,” she added.

Cahill’s explosive allegation is contained in an employment discrimination lawsuit filed Jan. 28 in Manhattan Federal Court, charging a pattern of disturbing conduct by supervisors in the 1 Police Plaza security unit.

What’s up with the New York City government employees hating on Indians?

She said she once loved her job. She proudly recalled being commended in 2001 by then-Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik for stopping a knife-wielding stalker from getting into Police Headquarters.

She appeared in a recruiting video and occasionally represented the NYPD at events attended by the Indian community.

The Brooklyn-reared Cahill, who is of Punjabi descent, said she knew of only one other female cop of Indian origin in the 36,000-member force. Cahill said she was the only cop in the security unit with certification from the U.S. Marshals Service in X-ray screening for weapons and explosives.

Holy crap. Is anyone else scared by that last sentence? Homeland Security???

As y’all know, the CEO of HP, Carly Fiorina, was fired yesterday for architecting a failed merger with Compaq. If the head of HP’s flagship division were elevated in her place, Vyomesh Joshi would become the first desi CEO of a company listed in the Dow Jones Industrial Average (as far as I know).

The Dow Jones includes just 30 blue-chip stocks such as Procter & Gamble, Boeing and Microsoft. The mustachioed, light-eyed Joshi has long been a tireless advocate for HP printers.

[The board] did not rule out promoting someone from within the company… the most likely candidate would be Vyomesh (“VJ”) Joshi. He had been the widely respected head of HP’s printing and imaging division and was recently put in charge of a new unit that combines the printing and PC businesses… one analyst asked Wayman whether the company was concerned about Joshi leaving if he were not named the new CEO… Milunovich added though that it would be important for HP to hold on to Joshi. [CNN]

In three years in charge of the printer unit, which delivers 73 per cent of the company’s operating profits, he boosted profit margins from about 10 per cent to almost 17 per cent at the end of last year. HP could ill afford to lose Mr Joshi, but he may be deemed unsuitable for the top job because he has no experience in corporate computing. [Financial Times]

HP, with $80B in revenues, would actually be the perfect company for this to happen to first because it’s not the hippest company in the world. It’s slightly dowdy, carrying around a pocket protector, an RPN calculator and a combover, but its products tend to be intelligent and dependable. Just like a desi uncle.

Frequent Sepia Mutiny tipster Deepa M., alerts us to something we had completely overlooked. I had an excuse since I was forced to miss the Superbowl but how come none of you all mentioned anything? Deepa writes,

Did you see the FBI recruitment ad that aired right before the SuperBowl? It starred a guy I’ve known since 7th grade, Sunjit Randhawa.

Tight. I’m digging the ad. Its, dare I say, surreal. What? You liberal types not digging the FBI? Then try the FFFBI. USA Today reports:

In the wake of the recent Asian tsunami disaster, the need for children to learn about other countries is obvious. FFFBI (www.fffbi.com), a Web site that helps youngsters learn more about India, Japan and Australia, is a great place to start.

Once connected to the site, kids join the ranks of the FFFBI — the Fin, Fur and Feather Bureau of Investigation — a spoof FBI agency run by a group of “ill-equipped animal agents” who are dispatched to countries about which they know “less than squat.” The FFFBI needs kids’ help for its missions.

I think its fairly obvious which one of these two will end up recruiting me.

Some in the conservative media were peeved earlier this week when UN Under-Secretary-General for Communications and Public Information, Shashi Tharoor (see former posts here and here) was quoted as saying that it was “the exercise of American power” that “may well be the central issue in world politics today.” Right-of-center bloggers pick up:

This is why the UN is useless. Whatever the original intention of the organization, the mission has morphed into trying to hinder anything the US wants to do. Oh, and by the way, the US is still expected to provide most of the funding, material, and other resources necessary for the UN to function. The situation is surreal.

Tharoor however doesn’t seem to be totally against the exercise of American power (if that is what his statement was implying as deciphered by right wing media). He likes the literary freedom it may have brought at least. He has just released his new book titled, Bookless in Baghdad which is a collection of essays inspired by walking through a Baghdad booksellers market:

Walking through Baghdad’s book souk, Shashi Tharoor, author and UN secretary general for communications and public information, couldn’t help being moved. “There were so many well-educated, middle-class people selling books on the pavement in Baghdad,” says the 48-year-old author. His stroll across the souk led to a compilation of literary essays…”

Here’s a higher-resolution version of Aishwarya’s appearance on Letterman last night. It’s available via BitTorrent, here’s the torrent (73 MB MPEG, 7:52).

First get an easy BitTorrent downloader:

• For Windows: ABC
• For Mac: Tomato Torrent

Then click here. The download will start automatically.

Here’s Aishwarya on 60 Minutes: torrent (15 MB AVI, first 2:43).

Update: The shallowness of these questions surprises me. Letterman asks if she lives with her parents, 60 Minutes asks if she’ll kiss on screen. I half expect someone to ask if she ‘wears a dot on her forehead.’ She’s being treated gingerly, like a Martian, like Gandhi — talk about tension! Yeah, she’s not from Britain or Australia, get over it. On Aish’s part, she’s a lot more skittish, nervous and diva-ish in her American interviews than her Indian ones. And she was strangely combative: I dug her cultural smack-back on the living-at-home question, but it needed to be softened by a big smile.

The rant on American imperialism which Letterman showed was the strangest thing to pick out of a musical; it won’t do Bride and Prejudice any favors at the box office. And Aish dressed quite modestly, even more so than at Cannes or, for that matter, in most of her films. I get the feeling that she sees herself, and maybe the interviewers see her, as the Great Brown Hope.

Which is silly, really. I thought that was Kal Penn ;)

Update 2: Check out the video of Aishwarya on Nightline, and the rest of the 60 Minutes segment, here.

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Francis C. Assisi and Elizabeth Pothen of Indolink.com decide to delve into Bobby Jindal’s life-story to see what makes him tick when it comes to his oft maligned religious beliefs:

The question that intrigues most Indian Americans is this: How and why did Bobby Jindal abandon the faith of his forebears to embrace Christ and the Catholic faith.

As it turns out, the story of Piyush Bobby Jindal’s transformation from a devout young Hindu to a zealous Catholic offers an intriguing glimpse into the struggle, often traumatic, of a young Indian American caught between his heritage and his parents on the one hand and his intellectual and emotional turmoil in America.

The first part reveals the background and the struggle towards his conversion, while the second part examines his involvement with two young women whom he has acknowledged as being key to his spiritual re-birth.

Beginning with his Junior year (1991) at Brown, and for seven years thereafter - including his two years on Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford, and while Secretary, Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals - Jindal revealed details of his conversion and its aftermath, in a series of first person accounts.

Much of those writings reveal an agonizing spiritual quest.

Ooooh, juicy! This sounds like an even more interesting read than the journey of the Buddha.

Sorry, I can’t help you in this department. You may gain some insight however in extricating yourself from worldly attachments (and that includes American Idol you freaks), by taking a look through Pankaj Mishra’s new book, “An End to Suffering,” as profiled in the New York Times:

You occasionally hear of writers, especially when their books are of long incubation, coming to resemble their subjects, and my fleeting glimpse of Pankaj Mishra seems to offer uncanny proof of the phenomenon. For here, surely, was the young Siddhartha Gautama himself: a scholar-sophisticate, a personality both cosmopolitan and ascetic, at large and at home in the world.

I wonder if this is similar to the phenomena where dog owners come to resemble their dogs?

“An End to Suffering” is part biography, part history, part travel book, part philosophic treatise. But perhaps it could best be described as a work of intellectual autobiography. I say “intellectual” rather than spiritual, let alone religious. Mishra is not a Buddhist — he “couldn’t sit still” long enough to meditate successfully — and his story is not a narrative of conversion or a road map to inner peace, at least not in the expected sense. It is, rather, the tale of his attempts to delve into the legacy of one of the world’s greatest philosophers.

The Buddha, as Mishra describes him, was not a prophet — not a religious figure but a secular one. Indeed, “he had placed no value on prayer or belief in a deity; he had not spoken of creation, original sin or the last judgment.” He likewise ignored the question of why sin and evil exist in the world, which has obsessed nearly every major religion. The Buddha’s concern was purely practical: to relieve suffering, both material and existential. His precepts weren’t couched as revelations from on high, delivered with the crash of thunder; instead they came as small quotidian insights: “I well remember how once, when I was sitting in the shade of a jambu tree on a path between the fields… .”

“…I took out my laptop and typed a blog entry in hopes of relieving the people’s suffering with a brief distraction.” That’s how I would have ended that quotidian insight.

Abhi blogged M.I.A.’s LA concert in inimitable style, so let me fill you in on the NYC gig last Saturday as best as I can: consider me the B side. And Anna couldn’t make the sold-out concert, but she graciously gave me her unused tickets. Caring, sharing and turning green with envy: it’s the mutineer way.

The concert utterly rocked with audience energy, and Mathangi ‘Maya’ Arulpragasam felt like a star in the making. There was heavy promo in NYC: a staid New Yorker story (talk about hipster buzz kill), the cover of the Village Voice entertainment section, Gawker. And her DJ backup, Diplo of Hollertronix, is popular out here. Her first full album, Arular, is out Feb. 22.

The crowd was a weird mix of spiky-haired Asians, Williamsburg hipsters and Upper West Side liberals with the odd square-jawed, Shannyn Sossamon-like Tamil beauty thrown in. There were very few desis in all, but the show was jam-packed. Most of the crowd already knew and sang along to her songs. I can’t tell you how much Lower East Side angst it inspired in me to find out she’s no longer a ‘discovery’ :)

Arulpragasam had great flow, and every single song was good. The tracks she chose were much fresher, catchier and more layered than the mixes I’ve heard online. They call it electro-dancehall and electrogroove, but the moves were deliciously familiar: she and her backup dancers reminded me of early Salt ‘n Pepa. I did find the soldier step a bit precious.

I’ve never rocked out to a desi woman before, that was quite novel. The Village Voice called her a ‘Sri Lankan Tamil hottie,’ a phrase you rarely read in America. But her aesthetic was also intimately familiar: her small-faced, tousle-haired cutenesss resembles my female Berkeley classmates; the South Indian hip-hop fans at Berkeley are legion.

Online monthly Nirali Magazine, which bills itself as “a different kind of (publication) for today’s modern South Asian American woman,” finally ended a lengthy two-month intermission with the release of its latest issue.

Editor-in-chief Ismat Mangla blamed the break in publication on a “storm of issues,” which have since been resolved. This is good news, because the magazine is a worthwhile read, and in its short existence, has managed to break some downright entertaining stories. On top of everything, Art Director Priya Patel’s interface design makes this one of the slickest e-zines around.

And before any of the smart-asses out there decide to berate me via e-mail — yes, I know the magazine is directed toward women. Can’t a brutha’ be up-to-date on the feminine perspective without a bunch of mofo’s getting all up in his grill about it? Geez.

Now I will go back to drinking a domestic beer, killing anything that moves in “Halo 2,” and lounging on the sofa in my boxers. And just for good measure: Maxim, Stuff, ESPN, Playboy, “Girls Gone Wild,” and red meat.

No, but the Scandinavian country of 4.5 million people is pumping out South Asian entertainers at a fantastic clip.

Last week we read about, heard, and ultimately shredded the musical offerings from Norway-born Deeyah. This week we present actress and model Negar Khan, who was born in Iran, but raised in Norway, and considers the country her home. You’ve probably never heard of her, but she has appeared in several music videos and starred in Bollywood films as an “item girl.”

Khan’s name was on everyone’s lips yesterday when the industry learned that she was deported from India for allegedly working without valid visa documents. From Indo-Asian News Service:

Police officials said Khan had been working in India without a proper work permit and that she had refused to respond to repeated notices sent by authorities on the issue.

“We sent her a notice one month back but she didn’t respond. She was working here without proper documents,” Mumbai Police Commissioner A.N. Roy told reporters.

Bollywood reacted with shock to the sudden deportation of Khan, terming the treatment meted out to her as inappropriate. “The manner in which she has been deported is absolutely indecorous,” said leading filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt.

But were the reactions of shock just another bad Bollywood acting job? It appears that the deportation of Khan is part of an effort that was prompted by peers who were tired of losing jobs to outsiders:

Police officials said Khan’s arrest and her deportation was part of a larger crackdown against foreigners working in India’s film and advertising industry without valid papers.

They, however, did not say if any other film personalities were facing a probe.

Indian actors and models have for long been complained that non-resident Indians come to India on tourist visas and pick up plum projects.

Today’s temperature in Oslo is expected to hit a high of 32 degrees. This marked the first time that it sucked to be a Khan in Bollywood.

IANS/Yahoo!: Negar Khan deported for visa breach, industry stunned

Some positive reviews are coming on of TMBWITW Aishwarya Rai's Hollywood debut in Bride and Prejudice. And to promote Bride, which opens in NYC/LA/and Washington D.C. on February 11, and in the rest of the U.S. in the next couple of weeks, Ash seems to be making the rounds. First 60 Minutes, then her appearance on Nightline, and now, well actually tomorrow, Tuesday Night, she is going to be making an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman. I hope Letterman's heart can take it. Actually, I think it will be quite amusing to see how Letterman deals with Ash on the show. The film will have its glitzy red-carpet premiere tomorrow in New York as well.

Additionally some reviews of the film have been trickling in, and most have been kind of positive, especially with regards to Aishwarya's performance. Ebert and Roeper gave Bride two thumbs up, and Peter Travers from Rolling Stone (who BTW mistakenly list Kareena Kapoor in the credits instead of Namrata Shirodkar--whose performance exceeded my expectations) proclaims

"Rai is a world-class hottie with talent to match, as she proves in her first English-speaking role. Pity pretty boy Martin Henderson (The Ring), who plays Darcy, the American in love with Lalita despite the prejudice of his hotel-magnate mom (Marsha Mason). He looks lost in his scenes with Rai. Like a kid driving a Rolls, he's out of place and outclassed.The script unravels as it moves to London and Los Angeles and stuffs in new takes on Austen's characters. But Chadha, the shrewdie, keeps the movie alive with swirling color, music and movement. The songs are deliciously silly, especially "No Life Without Wife," which Lalita and her sisters sing in mockery of Mr. Kholi (a scene-stealing Nitin Ganatra), the bachelor who wants a bride for his new L.A. home. Purists who think Austen will be spinning in her grave will be wrong. She'll be dancing."

I found the film thoroughly enjoying, and will definitely be seeing it a few more times. You should too. And don't forget to check out Ash on Letterman tomorrow.

Last Friday I wrote up my “review” of the M.I.A. concert that I attended in Los Angeles, and tried to convey to my readers the curiosity I had over the fact that the talented Maya Arulpragasam has a link to a group that possibly aids terrorists on her website. Whether or not said group was simply a legitimate aid organization delivering tsunami relief supplies or really something more sinister, in league with the LTTE, may have been answered on Monday as reported at Scotsman.com:

Port authorities found thousands of small steel balls hidden in water pots in a shipping container that consigned to the Tamils Rehabilitation Organisation, the army reported.

Sri Lanka’s Tamil Tiger rebels, who fought a two decade civil war against the government, are known for loading suicide bombs with metal balls to cause maximum damage.

The rebels control a large area in the ethnic Tamil-majority north and have authorised the Tamils Rehabilitation Organisation to co-ordinate tsunami relief work there.

The military website said the balls “could be used for production of bombs or explosives.”

The report said the pots, believed to have been shipped from Britain, are being held for investigation.

A spokesman for the Tamils Rehabilitation Organisation said it would comment only after seeing the military’s report.

IF this turns out to be true, to me this raises a bunch of interesting ethical dilemmas. First, can you blame an artist for supporting a group that seems to be assisting what the U.S. has designated as a terrorist group, if said artist has a father who is one of the rebels? Is she supporting the group and its practices or simply her father? Secondly, isn’t part of M.I.A.’s appeal that she has rebellious lyrics? Haven’t young people always been drawn to rebellious lyrics? Thirdly, how can you (if of a politically liberal persuasion) enjoy yourself at a concert knowing that the lyrics (and possibly your money) are in support of a group that employs child soldiers and female suicide bombers? I understand that the Sri Lankan government is also complicit but simply letting two wrongs balance each other out doesn’t seem right. I don’t really have answers to my questions but I did think it would make an interesting debate.

‘GOP Babe of the Week’ Govindini Murty also starred in a student film called San Pedro in 2001. Murty may otherwise be quite intelligent, but this potboiler is howlingly bad. Slamming a student film? Fish in a barrel; but the director, Murty’s husband Jason Apuzzo, graduated from USC film school, Stanford and Yale, so the movie shouldn’t be as awful as it so eminently is.

‘He might want his statue back so he doesn’t get into agua caliente!’

‘It is a real statue. It has the ancient Chinese key inside.’

Ah, so: ancient Chinese secrets, that deus-ex-I-Ching. Yes, it really is that bad. The plot is pure Republican porn, putting forth a Vince Foster-esque conspiracy theory involving Men’s Wearhouse pitchman Al Gore:

On the final night of the 2000 Democratic Convention, a hard boiled bounty hunter must recover an ancient Chinese statue, and clean up a trail of big money that threatens ‘bad buzz’ for Al Gore. But when a sexy immigrant maid stumbles onto that trail first…

This is just too delicious... one of the more popular SM posts - based on number & ferocity of comments - was one back in December about Govindini Murty. In addition to the cerebral attraction of a fellow desi espousing the message of individual freedom / responsibility and smaller governments, Govindini's physical charms were, uh, well noted.

Well, it appears that SM isn't the only one who's noticed. The wild & crazy folks at the New Jersey GOP website apparently run a mini contest called GOP Babe of the Week and this week's winner is.... Govindini Murty. Govindini says she's

"...truly honored to have been chosen - being Republican Babe of the Week... has always been a dream... ;)"

I love Govindini's smirking smiley at the end. She shares the honor with an eclectic group of past winners including Rachel Hunter, Heather Locklear, Kennedy (of MTV fame), Gloria Estefan, body builder Cory Everson (what is it about Republican body builders?), and quite a few others. Muy excelante company.

Bombay Talkie, a new chaat-plus-entrees place that sounds like an upscale version of Kati Roll Co., opened recently in Chelsea. It shares its name with the novel by Ameena Meer. The NYT says:

The menu plays with the conceit of Indian street food, and so appetizers are listed as “street bites.” Entrees appear under the heading “from the roadside.” Side dishes are from, well, the “curbside…” Bombay Talkie is in many ways a neighborhood joint in an especially pretty dress, designed by Thomas Juul-Hansen…

… then of course there are the cocktails, which, I’m told, take their names from Bollywood movies… What are the temperature, tinge and taste of “unrequited love”? It is cold but not frigid, transparent but vaguely green, and extremely potent, thanks to modest measures of lime juice and saffron syrup in a sea of Bombay Sapphire gin.

The place has a dark sense of humor:

Brunch has a theme they’re calling The Return of the Raj: teas, tea sandwiches, pancakes, hams, fresh preserves….if not trickle pie.

Kati Roll Co., a tiny, long-time Greenwich Village favorite, has a rotating selection of classic Bollywood posters on the wall. And speaking of the designer, I haven’t figured out yet why the Dutch are so into desi kitsch. I’m not complaining.

Sepia Mutiny's favorite soldier, Lt Neil Prakash (aka Red Six), gives us a glimpse of the mind / heart / soul of a soldier thousands of miles from home -

2 things that break my heart:

1) SSG Terry promised his little 3 year old angel, Josephine, that he would be home for her birthday. So everyday when she wakes up at home now, she asks her mother, "Is it my birthday, today?"

2) Whenever I call my fiancee, I have to cut her off with "Baby, my 30 minutes are up." I had no idea that she is on the other end, repeating to herself, Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Someday, I won't have to, Laura. But not anytime soon. Because you'll be saying that to me when you come here. So I guess, "Now the rubberband is on the other claw!" to quote Dr. Zoidberg.

Good luck and Godspeed LT & Crew. If ever a group of men so richly deserved a simple hug & pat on the back, it's you.

[Neil's Blog, Previous SM Coverage here & his Silver Star]

For some time, there has been controversy around the death of Subhash Chandra Bose. The official history states that Bose died in a plane crash in Taipei on August 18, 1945 en route from Singapore to Tokyo. Since no body was ever recovered, many Indians refused to believe that Bose was dead, despite three official investigations into the matter. One rumor claims that Bose died in Siberia, in Soviet captivity. The Hindustan Times claims that Bose returned to India where he lived as a hermit named Gumnami Baba (the man with no name) until 1985.

These conspiracy theories have recently taken a surprise twist with support from a most unlikely source, the Taiwanese government:

Taiwan has now told a Indian investigation that there were no plane crashes at Taipei between 14 August and 20 September 1945.

All of this should stir up further interest in the recent Shyam Benegal film Netaji: The Last Hero. For those of you in the Boston Area, the director will be screening his film at the Harvard Film Archive as part of a Tsunami fundraiser on Friday, February 11.

While most news on Nepal has focussed on its recent political problems, we here at Mutiny HQ take a longer term perspective. We know what really interests our readers. You're all asking yourself (a) does sex in the Himalayas qualify me for membership in the Mile High Club and (b) can I catch something? [I'm just breathing heavy because the air is thin]

Well, researchers from Scotland's Aberdeen University have been wondering the same thing. They plan to examine "sexual behaviour of Nepalese trekking guides and tourists." It seems that Nepal is becoming a more popular vacation destination (despite the Maoist insurgency?), Nepali men don't use condoms (they are considered "socially taboo") and (gasp!) "visitors have become `high-risk' as they lower their inhibitions when abroad." Foolish yet exotic vacation sex; it's not just for Ibiza any more.

Dr Padam Simkhada, of the university's public health department, said: "There is an urgent need to undertake this study to understand more fully the nature and extent of high-risk sexual activity among young Nepalese trekking guides.

"Medical problems and health risks of trekkers or tourists are documented to some extent, but little information is known about the sexual activity of trekkers' guides. "

About 500 questionnaires will be distributed to trekking guides and the companies which hire them. Researchers also plan to carry out in-depth interviews with guides. [BBC]

Ah yes. A study of STD's contracted by Trekkers willing to boldly go where no man has gone before!

Last night I went to the Knitting Factory in Hollywood to check out M.I.A. (who we have profiled here before). Admittedly, I was not familiar with the lovely Maya Arulpragasam’s music BUT I am a fan of live music as well as beautiful women. I was a little bummed before the concert because all my friends had bailed on me and I would be going all alone. I resolved to turn tragedy to triumph by getting Maya to take pity on me and allowing me to be a groupie after the show. On my way to the venue I got a call from my friend Sanjay who was one of those forced to bail on the evening. I told him it was okay and then informed him of my new plan to win her sympathy. Then he told me something that would plant a seed of doubt into my subconscious and eventually ruin my night. Sanjay told me that if I got to meet Maya I should ask her why her website has a link to an organization (TRO) associated with the LTTE terrorist organization. Was Maya a Tamil Tiger sympathizer? “Boy, don’t you know that would completely ruin my game?” What? Could I be like, “Hey Maya…um…I think you are so very pretty and talented and I’d like to get to know you better…umm…do you support terrorism?”

Instead of having your desi tunes illegally copied @ the local grocery store, you can now get an online store to do it for you -

San Francisco, Feb 4 : A California company has launched what it calls the first online music download store dedicated to music from India and the Indian sub-continent.

CrimsonBay offers music from premiere Indian labels such as Saregama India Ltd, Ishq Records, Yatra Communications and others.

The online marketplace, which is similar to Apple's hugely successfully music download business iTunes, carries over 40,000 songs.

A company press release said currently it was offering Hindi content including memorable songs from films such as "Umrao Jaan", "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge", "Aradhana" and artists such as Kishore Kumar, Lata Mangeshkar, Bally Sagoo and Rishi Rich. It plans to update its catalogue regularly.

As before, I suppose there's a chance that music purchased from CrimsonBay will end up compensating the original artists, but call me a skeptic.

Chila from Wolverhampton and Mr. Kiss My Chuddies got hitched in a small, private ceremony on Jan. 21 (thanks, Punjabi Boy). Coverage here, here and here.

[Goodness Gracious Me] started as a one-off stage show called Peter Sellers Is Dead… designed to indicate that the days of white actors blacking up to play Asians were over. [BBC]

The newlyweds are currently working on the movie version of another of Miss Syal’s novels, Life Isn’t All Ha Ha, Hee Hee. [ThisIsLondon]

Ever mindful of his legacy, the current dictator of Pakistan is ordering a soppy political memoir ghost-written about how he looked deep into the eyes of Dubya and saw a man he could do business with:

President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan is writing a political memoir, focusing on the war on terrorism and his relationship with the Bush administration as a key ally. The memoir is to be published by Simon & Schuster and will probably appear in bookstores next fall…

No word on whether it’ll bear any resemblance to Shame, Salman Rushdie’s jagged satire of Pakistani politics with a paper-thin fictional veneer to protect the guilty. Here’s what it will cover:

“He’s going to cover the war on terror from Afghanistan in the 1970s and 1980s up to the hunt for Osama bin Laden…”

Mr. Musharraf, writer’s block doesn’t last three and a half years. How about penning the ending to that story?

A passenger train near the N. Indian town of Kanhan crashed into a tractor that was trying to cross the tracks. The accident killed 52 & injured 10 others.

Now, in just about any other country, it would be safe to assume that those casualties were folks on the train. But, in India, they're instead passengers on the tractor -

NAGPUR, India -- A passenger train smashed into a trailer carrying wedding guests Thursday in western India, killing at least 52 people and injuring 10 others, a railway official and witnesses said.

The dead included 30 women and 10 children.

...Sudarshan Shende, who works at a nearby school, said at least three vehicles full of wedding guests had climbed the slope that led to the crossing, when the last vehicle, the tractor pulling the trailer, drove up and stopped.

"They stopped for a while, and I could hear them arguing. Some wanted to cross; others wanted to wait. Then the driver decided to cross," Shende told The Associated Press. "The tractor crossed, but the train rammed into the trailer."

He said no one was injured on the train, which did not derail despite the impact.

Sheesh.

In a brilliant maneuver, Congressman Bobby Jindal of Louisiana sent an email to his colleagues in Congress before yesterday’s State of the Union Address, telling them that they should come see him for a dip before the speech [via a tip from Manish and SM reader Atul Patel].

In a letter to be circulated Wednesday among fellow lawmakers, Jindal, R-Louisiana, said he would have ink available for anyone attending the speech who wanted to make a gesture of support for Iraqis and “people throughout the world who seek freedom.”

Say what you want about him (I know I often do) but clever is clever. Some Dems seemed bitter:

Supporters stuck their forefingers in the air — not unlike college football fans declaring “We’re number one” — as the president spoke.

But most Democrats did not dip into the inkwell. Indeed, some thought it was the president’s prose that was purple.

“His rhetoric seldom reflects reality,” said Rep. Lloyd Doggett, D-Texas.

With a flesh-toned rather than purple finger to point out his disagreement with the speech, Doggett said that “the real problem is that Bush’s policies keep sticking our people in a barrel of red ink.”

Video clips for The Kumars at No. 42 have now been posted. I liked the sketch format of Goodness Gracious Me better, but the interviews generate an interesting tension: being in character means you don’t have to lob softballs like Leno. Sanjeev Bhaskar’s running gag is to wear the most outlandish outfit possible. And Meera Syal’s granny character is just wicked:

To Helena Bonham Carter: In this country you are seen as the epitome of elegance and good manners. But I personally was very, very happy to see you in Fight Club playing a right old slut. Did you enjoy it?

To a female fashion consultant: Can I just say thank you on behalf of my grandson. That’s the first physical contact he’s had with a woman since he went to the doctor.

To an interior designer: If you want to do an Indian theme party properly, you have to put plastic over your sofas, lots of Tupperware in your fridge and preferably concrete over your entire garden.

I loved the Tom Jones and Helena Bonham Carter interviews. Check out the clips.

Previous posts: 1, 2

The Nepali king, who came to power when his nephew offed his family with an Uzi, has placed the prime minister under house arrest, shut down the phone system and Internet routers and put soldiers in TV stations to censor the news. Flights to Kathmandu were forced to turn back in midair during the coup.

“The king is taking the country back to the Dark Ages,” Shovakar Parajuli, leader of the opposition Congress Party, told the Associated Press news agency. [BBC]

Yawn… your coup is so 19th century, dahling. Why not do it in style? Poison your opponent, pretend it was a gas leak or jab him with a sharp umbrella.

Forget Babri Masjid — temple officials are shooting each other in a struggle over wealthy temple trusts in Ayodhya:

The rivalry spilled over after a meeting on January 31, when the two rival chief priests came to blows, prompting their associates to draw out double-barrel guns and fire… Earlier, in 2001, Nrityagopal had survived a bomb attack in the ongoing dispute over the trust… Gripped by a sense of insecurity, officials of temple trusts are rushing for gun licences… At least 350 Ayodhya residents, most of them temple-trust heads, have acquired licensed arms. The town has over 1,500 such trusts… Most key temple trusts have also installed their private army of securitymen…

Murder is but the least of their talents:

The temple town was further sullied when police in Lucknow said they were looking for another mahant [temple official], Shyam Shukla alias Shyam Maharaj, in the abduction of a Kanpur industrialist and two of his associates… “The mahant needed money. He asked us to abduct Ravinder Kedia. We kept him in Bahraich till we obtained ransom…”

Deeyah, the Norway born Asian female, who the Sunday Times (UK) has labelled as "the next big thing," released her debut single "Plan of My Own," this past week, to rave reviews. "Plan" can best be described as a blend of sultry r&b with a bit of desi mixed in for good measure. The track has been getting tremendous play on Desi radio station, mainly in the UK, for at least 6 months, and hopefully, the mainstream will catch on, as they have with Raghav and Jay Sean.

Deeyah recently completed a tour this past June & July, and has spent the past year working with producer, Darin Prindle, who has worked with the likes of Destiny’s Child, TLC, Madonna, Jermaine Dupri, Boyz II Men and Usher. This past August, Deeyah split her time between L.A. and Atlanta in the USA shooting the video for "Plan" award-winning director, John Lindauer whose past clients include Lauryn Hill, Mary J Blige, and Christina Aguilera.

So keep your eyes open. For more on Deeyah, click here, to hear the single (mp3), click here, and here for the video (Quicktime).

Drum roll please…and the 2004-2005 Poet of the Year award goes to…Indian poet Saleem Saim. As reported in Outlook Inida:

Noted English poet Saleem Saim has bagged the coveted “Poet of the year 2004-05” award, with a purse of 20,000 dollars, of the US based International Society of Poets. His poem, “Kept apart”, topped a list of some 5.1 million entries from across the globe and Saim has also been given a book publishing contract for his anthology, “Feeling”.

According to a letter from the Society, Saim’s induction as the best poet and award ceremony would be held in Orlando, Florida from February 25-27 this year.

Around 4,000 poets are expected to participate in the convention where Pulitzer Prize winner W D Snodgrass will present the grand prize.

The fact that he is a PhD in Chemistry and school teacher in Moradabad has not stopped Saim from honing his penchant for English literature and poetry.

See. Science geeks CAN have a way with words.

“I feel poetry as picturisation of one’s feelings thoughts, moods and sentiments,” he said adding it was the best medium to clean society of corruption and induce it towards love and humanity.

But wait. Is this all a scam??

Apparently Saleem wants to know as well. At least one person responds:

You are more likely to be declared a Saint by the Catholic Church than you are of collecting that $20,000.
Steven - Tucson, Arizona U.S.A.

Nobody said the life of a poet was easy.

A Telecom Italia ad uses the image and words of Mahatma Gandhi to shill mobile phones (via the Acorn). The ad, directed by Spike Lee, took first place in the Epica European advertising awards.

The ad reminds me of the Apple campaign which used Gandhi and his spinning wheel to sell Macs. Or, as Salon put it:

Gandhi was no pitchman

[He represented] the idea that… by renunciation you conquer. So it is bizarre to use him to sell products. When he died, all his belongings — toothbrush, Bhagavad Gita, loincloth — fit inside a couple of shoe boxes… he even tried to fight against the religious brands — his prayers each night came not just from the Hindu scriptures, but from the Gospels, from the Koran. He was assassinated by a fanatic Hindu precisely for his lack of brand loyalty… Gandhi, in other words, was the chief spokesman against the consumer mentality since Christ…

I wonder whether Gandhi’s heirs authorized the ad, or whether he’s enough of a public figure that his image is in the public domain.

Watch the ad.

Update: Here’s a previous post about Gandhi being used to sell pizza.

Our favorite phoren polisee pundit Fareed Zakaria returned to The Daily Show with elegant, desi prep school accent in tow. He gave a surprisingly (for host Jon Stewart) content-filled interview about the Iraqi election, and Stewart let him run with it.

Zakaria gave Dubya plaudits for an inspirational election, lauded the Iraqi Shi’a for their restrained conduct to date, cautioned that much hard work remains and slammed the president for poor execution.

Watch the clip.

Previous posts: 1, 2

The bloggers of Sepia Mutiny would like to take a minute to thank our readers for putting us over the 100,000 “visits” mark within the last couple of hours. What started as a mere Mutiny is now a full scale Insurrection. Our lucky 100,000th visitor, Mr. Jagjit Popatlal of Bangor, Maine, has received a special invitation to visit the staff of Sepia Mutiny at our non-descript North Dakota headquarters. We believe in giving back to the amazing community that has brought us to where we are (wherever the heck that is) and felt this was an appropriate manner in which to show our appreciation. As part of his prize package weekend, Mr. Popatlal will get a behind the scenes tour of what it takes for us to keep you coming back to this blog for more. First he will learn the truth about what’s really inside Anna’s closet. Admit it, you all want to know. Next he will slide down a poll into the reclusive Ennis’ secret office and learn how to be mysterious. Once properly trained by Ennis in the art of deep cover, Mr. Popatlal will accompany the ever erudite Vinod into enemy (i.e. progressive) territory to learn some of the methods we use to “extract” information for the eventual use on this blog, and as a bonus he will also learn why small government is good. After lunch Mr. Popatlal will meet with Apul. In all honesty he could care less about Apul but is only interested in meeting him because of the rumor that Apul is a close friend of Super Jagjit. Mr. Popatlal apparently idolizes Super Jagjit with whom he shares a first name. Toward the evening Mr. Popatlal will have the pleasure of Sajit’s company. Together they will attend a Broadway musical on the main street in Bismarck. Sajit is definitely not happy about having to relocate “just for this friggin’ blog,” as he put it. Finally, Mr. Jagjit Popatlal will end his grand tour over drinks with the suave Manish Vij. By the end of the night they will be speaking to each other ONLY in sentences of poetic word play. These skills taught by Manish will help him with the ladies in Maine when he returns to his normal life. Where will I be during all this? Someone must man the Blog.

If you wish that YOU would have won this prize weekend instead of some chump from Maine, then I encourage you to be the 200,000th visitor.

Are you tired? Huddled? Massive?

Yearning to be problem-free?

Well then, put down that New York Times and fold your hands together--but don't say a western "hello"--to the man who has India's Supreme Court judges and other VIPs at his feet(for blessings, natch):

It was 4:30 a.m., the stars were still out and Swami Ramdev was ready to begin the day's yoga lesson. His 12,000 students watched raptly as he sat wearing little more than a loincloth, chanting morning prayers in Sanskrit. When he walked on his hands across the stage in New Delhi's cavernous Jawaharlal Nehru stadium, they applauded.

The students were on the final day of a weeklong yoga camp that the swami had promised would cure whatever ailed them, mentally as well as physically, and without a great investment of time. For a growing number of harried middle-class Indians, worrying about health problems associated with a more affluent lifestyle, that is just the message they want to hear.

Don't they mean "hairy" middle-class Ind-...oh, wait. Wrong post. ;)

While a majority of Indians are familiar with yoga, many think it is too complex and time-consuming to practice, particularly with the increasing demands on their time.

The swami, youthful and photogenic, has become wildly popular with a "yoga made easy" approach that promises to yield quick health benefits with minimal effort.

A quick shout out for all you Bay Area Mutineers -- the South Asian Political Alliance (SAPA) will be holding it's launch gala this Saturday evening.

SAPA was formed from the ashes of the South Asians for Kerry (SAKI) organization as a new vehicle to carry forward the Desi Progressive political consciousness.

Sepia Mutiny neither endorses nor condemns this event. ;-) And although I'm probably one of the last to label my politics "progressive", I'll probably be there cuz it's gauranteed to be an interesting and interested crowd. For ex., San Francisco's colorful (pun intended) District Attorney Kamala Harris - will be in attendance.

Details -

Saturday, February 5th
7pm - 10pm
Element Lounge
1028 Geary Street
San Francisco, CA

Narain Karthikeyan is on the verge of becoming the first Indian on the Formula One circuit. The agreement with the Jordan Formula One team is expected to be signed over the next two days (thanks, Sapna):

Karthikeyan, 28, was the first Indian to drive a Formula One car and last year raced for Red Bull in the World Series by Nissan. He was offered an F1 drive by Minardi in 2003 but was unable to raise the funds required to secure the offer.

His new employer is looking to Karthikeyan to rescue its burned buns from the oven:

The struggling Jordan Formula One team announced yesterday it would be taken over by Midland Group, owned by Russian-born businessman Alex Shnaider… Jordan finished ninth out of the 10 Formula One teams in 2004 and hit serious problems after Ford, who supplied the team’s Cosworth engines, announced in September they were withdrawing from the sport. 

Karthikeyan was the first Indian to win the Formula Asia championship and won two races in last year’s Nissan World Series. He’s sponsored by Tata and Bharat Petroleum. Homeboy needs some sharper paint, this is the country that invented day-glo salwars. I’m diggin’ the helmet, bro — a spinning wheel, how apropos.

‘Fastest Indian in the world,’ I think not. Ever seen Abhi in a room full of females? It’s like feeding time at the dolphin tank :) But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Karthikeyan is played by Tom Cruise and marries Ashley Judd.

Reviews for “Bride & Prejudice” are starting to trickle in, and none are more integral to the film’s box office prospects than the bi-directional thumbs of critics Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper

The verdict? Two thumbs up.

If you weren’t able to watch the show last weekend, here’s a brief recap:

: Go see this on the big screen. You need to fully appreciate the vibrant colors and the great music.
: Oh, I loved it too and I’ve seen a lot of Bollywood movies in recent years. They combine everything. And I have to admit, Aishwarya Rai has your eyes.
: Fo’ real? Whenever Gurinder Chadha waddles into a screening, I can’t help but think of you.
: Let’s make out.
: Okay.

Aw’ yeah, how’s that for some romantic diction? Sure, that recap might contain some inconsistencies or entire fabrications, but you get the gist. If you want to hear the real review, click here to download the MP3 (size: 250 KB). It’s worth the time, if just to hear the entertaining pair debate the placement of Rai on their list of most beautiful women in the world. (Roeper has her at #17; Ebert at #1).

“Bride & Prejudice” opens on February 11.

Sepia Mutiny: Fisking the “Bride and Prejudice” campaign; “Bride and Prejudice” postponed to February; The New York Times on “Bride and Prejudice”; Gurinder Chadha on her “Bride and Prejudice”