All across the country May 1, people will be wearing white shirts and not buying things- That’s right, Monday is the Day Without an Immigrant Boycott. With over 2 million strong, will South Asian Americans make a difference if we all boycotted? A doctor that calls in sick, a taxi worker that stays home, a professor that cancels class? Though not as numerous as other immigrant communities, these days we can be positive that there is a South Asian American representing in almost all lines of business and a boycott by our people will make a mark in a lot of industries.

Choosing May Day for this boycott is significant in itself - it is International Workers Day, and 120 years ago was the mark of bloody riots for workers rights.

In 1884, the U.S. Federation of Organized Trade and Labor Unions had passed a law declaring that, as of May 1, 1886, an eight hour workday would be the full and legal workday for all U.S. workers - the administration had that much time to recognize this new law and put into effect. The factory, workplace and corporation owners refused.

On May 1, 1886, workers took to the streets in a general strike throughout the entire country to force the administration to recognize the eight-hour working day. Over 350,000 workers across the country directly participated in the general strike, with hundreds of thousands of workers joining the marches.

In what they would later call the Haymarket riots, during the continuing strike action on May third in Chicago, the epicenter of the U.S. labor movement at that time, the Chicago police opened fire on the unarmed striking workers at the McCormick Reaper Works, killing six workers and wounding untold numbers.[link]

May 1st here in Los Angeles, there will be a group of South Asians taking part in the boycott at MacArthur Park at 3:00pm - listen for the sounds of the dhol to see where the desis at. I highly encourage you to organize (& post in SM events tab if you do!) your own posse of desis to take part in the activities all across the nation. Take pictures and send them to us. If you are able to take off work or school, please do it on behalf of the rest of the desi immigrants who can’t because a day without work would be too big of a loss. I know we’ve been discussing the debate here for the past few weeks, but it’s because when Congress goes back into session this week, this will be at the top of their agenda. Let’s make sure the South Asian voice is heard in the debate.

No, not the kind Voldemort spreads in the sky in eerie green only to have it dissipate without a trace. We are discussing the kind that sticks ugly in people’s minds and in history. Can-do Canada’s past is no stranger to such impressions, no stranger to xenophobia. In the early part of the last century the Canadian government imposed a head tax on all Chinese immigrants that began at $50 in 1885 and increased to $500 by 1903. Out of the around 80, 000 Chinese in Canada who paid that tax, 15, 000 were working to build the Canadian Pacific Railway and around 4000 of them died during construction. The head tax kept families apart for decades, sometimes for good, and kept them in a state of economic depression while they made it possible for goods to travel across Canada’s enormous land mass.

In April, the Chinese Canadian National Council’s mission to gain a formal apology and remuneration for the estates of Chinese-Canadians who paid the tax came closer to status ‘accomplished’. At the end of Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s throne speech there was mention of an agenda item concerning a formal apology for Chinese Canadians. This type of dialog has prompted hope among many in the Indo-Canadian community of a similar apology, with possibility of redress, with regard to the Komagata Maru incident:

The Conservative government should issue an apology and compensation to Indo-Canadians over the Komagata Maru incident if it is going to give both to Chinese-Canadians over the head tax paid by Chinese immigrants in the early 20th century, B.C. Liberal MP Sukh Dhaliwal said… “If the government is going to apologize to one group of Canadians, they should also have a similar line for other groups of Canadians who have suffered discrimination” [Link]

The Komagata Maru was carrying passengers who were Sikh by a large majority but the “white, please” immigration policies of the Canadian government at the time saw only brown. Passengers were not allowed to disembark, were left on board for two months in miserable conditions and were ultimately forced to return to India where they were persecuted by the British as participants in the Independence Movement. All because the Canadian government was afraid of some hardworking brown folk. This episode is as much a part of our history as Indian-Canadians as it is a part of Sikh history. Early immigrants to Canada were largely Sikh but they came here as Indians and they were discriminated against as Indians.

I’ve been informed, via an online quiz, ,that my happiness level is at a solid- average. It is somewhat perplexing, because I like to think that I’m generally a happy-go-lucky, live-life-with-no-regrets kind of a gal. Maybe, I need to move to Bhutan.

The government must consider every policy for its impact not only on Gross Domestic Product, but also on GNH: “Gross National Happiness”… The politics of happiness has led Bhutan to make very different decisions from countries simply searching for wealth. In Bhutan the government puts inner spiritual development on a par with material improvement.. Development has been moderated and people are less well off financially than they could have been. [link]

Amazing. I started picturing an America that would put aside its economically efficient consumerist society and for once, considered the gross happiness of its people. In this ficticious world, Chevron’s profit would not have surged 49% and gas prices for us would be far less than $3.25/gal that is today. Wal-Mart would take some of the $11.2 billion of net profits and provide healthcare to the 775,000 Wal-Mart employees that live without it. I would no longer have college debt hanging over my head. Alas, I think to force government and corporations to think of the gross happiness here would be expecting a little too much.

The idea that politics should be about creating “the greatest happiness of the greatest number” goes back to the end of the 18th century and the philosopher Jeremy Bentham. However, no-one could work out how to measure happiness, or how to weigh one person’s happiness against how other people feel. So economics, which is built on objective measurement, took hold instead. [link]

Bhutan, on the other hand, was able to have a GNH because it is a far smaller nation than the U.S. is; a monarchy, in a remote region, they only started having televisions in 1999, and they only had one traffic light (that is until they took it down because it was making people unhappy). Bhutan has been developing their GNH in interesting ways…

The capital, Thimpu, is remarkable for its lack of advertising. In an attempt to hold back consumerism the city council recently banned hoardings promoting Coke and Pepsi…Recently they banned a number of channels including international wrestling and MTV, which they felt did little to promote happiness…Bhutan has even banned plastic bags and tobacco on the grounds that they make the country less happy…One of the pillars of Bhutan’s happiness philosophy is care for the environment. [link]

The research tells us if we want a happier society, we need to reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. It suggests advertising is a major cause of unhappiness because people feel less well-off. Every 10 minutes of commuting cuts all forms of social involvement by 10%. And like there isn’t enough material out there for our parents pushing marriages, “…science of happiness suggests marriage is so good for your well-being that it adds an average seven years to the life of a man and something like four for a woman.”

Thinking about all this was starting to make me feel even more unhappy, and it reminded me of the laughing clubs in India. Laughing clubs are groups of people that get together and laugh as a form of exercise, and there are plenty of them in India.

What a week it has been, for printed pages, for brown people, for the Mutiny. Kaavya and Opal, Kaavya and Katie, Kaavya and Megan. The teenager from Harvard turned Mutineers against each other while energizing idiots on Yahoo! to diss desis— there’s nothing like a brown scandal to unleash smug, ignorant racism.

The most important aspect of the whole fustercluck might just be our collective, unexpected education about the process of publishing. For some, this was cause for disillusionment; many of us had indelible visions of a solitary artist, sacrificing themselves to merge imagination and soul in to a pristine, sacred creation. Learning about production companies shocked us in to a deep dismay. Wasn’t it supposed to be about the writing? Has EVERYTHING become a commodity, an image, a focus-group-tested myth? Were books being produced instead of written? Suddenly the idea that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm is stuck in my head, all to a wistful electronic beat.

Though the vast majority of you were reared better than to admit such things in public, I know that hundreds of you read about “Opal’s” backstory and thought to yourselves, “I could do that. How hard can it be?” Well, why don’t you find out? Leave a concentrated, concise story containing no more than fifty-five words, in the comments below.

Write about whatever you feel like, don’t let my memories of Nick Cave songs force you in to feeling some mercy. If you don’t want to 55 here, leave a link to where we can see your flash fiction elsewhere. You might not get half-a-million dollars, but isn’t the love and appreciation from other Mutineers worth so much more?

Making fun of the driving skills of New York City taxi drivers is an easy snark. In NYC, over 80% of taxi drivers are third world men from countries which are not known for their sedate and obedient styles of driving. Since there are large numbers of brown cabbies (in 1999, 40% of cabbies were from the subcontinent, although that number has probably gone down), this easily turns into a joke about desi drivers. You know, a roll of the eyes, a hand gesture to indicate the erratic path a screeching yellow cab took, etc.

What was that address again? Don’t worry, this is just a shortcut, Amber fort is on the way.

It turns out, however, that riding a cab in New York is considerably safer than being in a private vehicle:

according to … [a recent] study… based on state motor vehicle records of accidents and injuries across the city… taxi and livery-cab drivers have crash rates one-third lower than drivers of other vehicles. [Link]

This is very different from what people think, but it makes sense:

The lower crash rates for cabbies are not so surprising given that taxi drivers are far more experienced than other drivers. They are behind the wheel up to 3,000 hours a year. Their driving records are scrutinized by the Taxi and Limousine Commission and auto insurance carriers. They risk losing their livelihood if they have too many crashes or get too many tickets. [Link]

They’ve also gotten safer over time, as a result of both market forces and government regulation:

… crashes declined 12 percent from 2003 to 2004, and 30 percent since 1999. These declines are attributable to the City’s strict ceilings on the number of DMV points drivers can accumulate and improved auto insurance underwriting practices. Cab drivers have also been staying in the industry longer, a significant fact given that less-experienced drivers are more crash-prone. [Link]

Last week, I took a train from North Podunksburg (where I live and work) to Metropolis (the nearest large conurbation) to attend several days of business meetings there. I was riding with some of my colleagues, and after the conversation had died down and people were looking out the windows, I turned on my mp3 player and zoned out.

You know that moment when you wake from a reverie and you remember where you are, when you realize that you are in one place and not in another? Well, I had a post 9/11 moment, a quick reminder that I wear a turban, “sport” a beard, am graced by almond skin … and that these things mean something different now than they once used to.

I was humming along under my breath, then mouthing the lyrics, then singing along quietly. A Billy Bragg song was on, and these were the words I heard in my ears:

Revenge will bring cold comfort in this darkest hour
As the juke box says ‘It’s All Over Now’
And he stands and he screams
What have I done wrong
I’ve fallen in love with a little time bomb [Link] [Audio: wmv, real]

I had sung, softly and under my breath, but perhaps audible “I’ve fallen in love with a little …” and then I tried hard to swallow the next few words, but I ended up mouthing “… time bomb.” It was my own personal Clash moment, except that the song I was singing had lyrics far worse than “…war is declared and battle come down…”

Gone are the days where brown skinned actors are typecasted to play the thick accented T-Mobile kid. These days, if you are brown, Hollywood is looking for you to play the role of a terrorist. United 93, the movie about the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania on 9/11, hits the big screens today and The LA Times did a great article on the men that play the terrorists.

As filmmakers tell a number of stories about Sept. 11 and other attacks both real and fictionalized — a rapidly growing list that includes “Munich,” “Syriana,” “Paradise Now” and Friday’s “United 93” — there’s increased demand for young Middle Eastern actors. But directors and their casting agents must convince those actors that their cinematic cause is more noble than that of directors a generation ago, who routinely depicted Arabs as cartoonish, fanatical madmen.

Mazhar Munir from Syriana

When writer-director Stephen Gaghan was casting “Syriana,” his ensemble drama about the political and personal costs of America’s dependence on foreign oil, he struggled to find a young actor of Pakistani descent to play a suicide bomber… “I had found a couple of terrific young actors who simply weren’t allowed by their families to take the part,” Gaghan said. “One young man’s family said he would be cut out of the family” if he accepted the role. He held casting sessions in Los Angeles, New York, Paris, Damascus, Bahrain, Dubai and Karachi without success before he finally found Mazhar Munir in London.[link]

I haven’t watched ‘Syriana’ yet, and personally, have absolutely no desire to watch ‘United 93’- just watching the trailer makes me queasy. I can only imagine the conflict that these actors feel, especially when it comes to starring in a film about the events around 9/11, a day that impacted so many people in so many ways around the world.

[T]he actors say they are thankful to be rid of the clichéd Middle Eastern villains of the late 1980s and early 1990s (in films such as “Delta Force,” “Navy Seals,” “Iron Eagle”), who were far more likely to be bearded, wear kaffiyehs and shout Arabic insults than resemble a real person. It was precisely those clichéd depictions that made Abdalla so nervous about trying out for “United 93.”

“The reputation of representing Arabs by Hollywood is a stereotype, and it’s an incredibly hurtful stereotype,” says Abdalla, who was born in Scotland to Egyptian parents… “The idea was to put all of those people on the plane and try as best as we can to tell that story,” Abdalla said of his meeting with the filmmaker. “[United 93] wasn’t to be a film about stereotypes.”

#1 Mutineer Crush

[link]

Though playing a terrorist these days tremors actors with trepidation, the role of playing an Iraqi terrorist ex-Republican Guard soldier Lost on an island was one that Naveen Andrews picked. It has served him well as it has now landed him as one of the World’s Most Beautiful People in 2006.

“I feel a sense of responsibility to the Iraqi community and to the Arab world,” Andrews told us…. “I was concerned that the way Sayid was going to be perceived would not be negative or peripheral in any way. The audience is reaching out to the so-called enemy in a way that the government and the media won’t allow them to do.”[link]

If I thought airport security was too constraining for me, I can’t imagine what it must be like for these actors when they go through security. “I’m sorry, officer. But I’m really not a terrorist, I just play one on T.V.”

For my 16th birthday, we had a sheet cake from Sam’s Club, and maybe a couple of balloons. It was small with just family, and a few of my school friends. It wasn’t elaborate, but in those days, we didn’t have MTV to show us how ‘the others’ celebrate their Sweet 16. Maybe that’s why I have a sick, sick obsession with watching MTV’s reality TV show Sweet 16, where in the span of a half an hour segment you see thousands and thousands of dollars being thrown down for a measly birthday. From the SM news tab, we’ve now learned desi teen girls haven’t missed the wrath of this reality TV show either.

…Dr. Srinivasa Rao Kothapalli, a prominent cardiologist in Beaumont, Tex., is more than willing to relinquish his checkbook. His daughter Priya turned 16 earlier this month, and she is in the throes of planning a joint birthday-graduation party with her elder sister, Divya, 18. “If you can afford to have a grand celebration, then why not,” said Dr. Kothapalli, who immigrated to the United States from India in the mid-1980’s. “It’s the American way. You work hard and you play hard.”

Their Bollywood-themed party for 500 guests will be held in the family’s backyard — all 4œ acres, behind the 10,000-square-foot house. The Format, their favorite band, will perform. And they will make their grand entrance on litters, during an elaborate procession led by elephants…”We both want to lose three pounds,” said Priya, who received a Mercedes convertible and an assortment of diamond jewelry for her birthday. Her sister’s graduation gift package included a Bentley, diamonds and two homes in India. [link]

Can you believe this ridiculous consumption? Elephants, diamonds, Bentleys and homes? If this is what they got for their Sweet 16/18, can you imagine the weddings? I can’t wait till the show airs, which unfortunately, has no links up yet on MTV-but I’m sure the mutineers will keep us posted. So let’s see, there were first those two desi girls that secretly partied, Kaavya gets half a million to write a ‘plagiarized’ book before turning 17, and now, we have these girls. Sigh. Such a contrast from the girls, girls, girls earlier this month.

Priya added, “It’s pathetic when people suck up.” Still, dealing with sycophantic classmates and a bit of teasing is a small price to pay for the spotlight. “We both love attention—that’s one of our main motives for having the party,” Divya said. “The more attention the better.” [link]

At least I have something in common with the girls from Sweet 16…I’m kidding. KIDDING.

This morning I awoke to find my cell roommate, Rajni, sleeping on my leg. Monkeys can be heavy. Monkeys can also be strong. “Rajni, man, I’m late making breakfast for the masters, eek!”, I gave her a shove. She single-handedly flipped me off my hammock and onto the floor, face first. Monkeys = 1:Neha = 0. THIS. After spending all night coughing because she insists on smoking cigars before bedtime. All those cute gibbons and gorillas about and I get stuck with a smoking lemur.

Anyway, I crawled around looking for some type of wake up/make up music, something less aggressive than my usual fare of German synths, big bass, and synthetic hand claps (just like garba!). Something combining bittersweet melodies, energetic drums and clever lyrics. Something to make Rajni like me better so we can just chill, sing along and bond over heartbreak, instead of all this fighting-biting. Good thing I took my indie-loving friend Bird’s advice and brought along some most suitable fare…

Last December, Spin mag profiled a then under-the-underground band called Voxtrot and made it their ‘Band of the Day’:

The Austin, Texas quintet’s debut EP, Raised by Wolves, is a stunning mini-collection of John Hughes-heyday paeans, twitchy pop, and surging, Strokes-y dancefloor fillers. [link]

Had I been keeping open to the possibility of jangly guitars bringing me to my knees then news of lead singer, Ramesh Srivastava, would have hit SM tip boxes way sooner:

When Srivastava moved to Glasgow at the age of 19, he’d already written the tracks that would comprise the Raised By Wolves EP, songs with deft arrangments and charming melodies that evoke Belle & Sebastian, Morrissey, and the Lucksmiths, but with jagged, rumbling guitars remindful of early Cure and, sometimes, Joy Division. [Link]

In a case which I have been following daily for the past week, a Federal judge in Sacramento has declared a mistrial in the “terror” case against a Pakistani American ice cream truck driver. His son’s (accused of attending a terrorist training camp) jury is still deliberating but may also end up hung (see previous posts for backstory 1, 2, 3). This is a huge defeat for the government. CNN reports:

Umer Hayat, 48, and his 23-year-old son were tried at the same time but given separate juries. The son’s jury was still deliberating Tuesday.

The announcement of a mistrial in the father’s case came one day after the jurors told U.S. District Court Judge Garland E. Burrell Jr. they could not reach an unanimous decision after nearly two weeks of deliberations.

“The jury declared that it was hopelessly deadlocked this morning,” deputy court clerk Carol Davis said Tuesday. Burrell questioned each juror and then discharged them…

“They couldn’t prove it because it didn’t happen,” Umer Hayat’s attorney, Johnny Griffin III, said outside court Tuesday. “He’s not a terrorist. There is no evidence to demonstrate he is a terrorist…” [Link]

What makes the government’s loss particularly embarrassing is that jurors were shown a taped confession but STILL didn’t find him guilty. I’ll bet you this case is used as a teaching tool in law schools for years to come. That’s what happens when you try to manipulate someone who doesn’t have mastery over the English language (see my previous post #3 linked above). The manipulation seems like it was evident to the jury but we will have to wait until they are interviewed in the coming days.

The Hayat case centered on videotaped confessions the men gave separately last June to FBI agents and a government informant who secretly recorded hundreds of hours of conversations but whose credibility was challenged by the defense.

Defense lawyers’ biggest hurdle was trying to persuade jurors to discount the men’s videotaped confessions. They argued that the confessions were made under duress, after the men had been questioned for hours in the middle of the night… .

The father and son eventually told the agents merely what they thought they wanted to hear, without realizing the legal consequences, their lawyers argued. [Link]

The case against the son was considered stronger by the government but the fact that the jury has been out this long is a good sign for him as well.

Update: The jury convicts the son after all.

At first I wondered why the Asian American LGBT community would be speaking out as a group against the House’s immigration bill. Surely individuals in the Asian American LGBT will have a diversity of opinions on this issue since it doesn’t seem to be related to discrimination or a denial of rights based on one’s sexual identity. They have written a letter to President Bush, Dennis Hastert, and Bill Frist however, which explains their opposition to the bill:

(1) We urge you to address the detention and deportation of immigrants. Many Muslim, South Asian, and Southeast Asian Americans have been improperly racially profiled and have not been afforded constitutional due process protections.

(2) We urge you undo the requirement that local police enforce complicated immigration laws. LGBTs have already encountered many problems with police misconduct and police brutality. There are insufficient assurances and resources to make this workable.

(3) We urge you to support the reunification of immigrant families and binational same-sex couples and ease the highly restrictive process to apply for political asylum.

We hope you will show compassion and will take our views into your consideration. [Link]

I support members of the LGBT community and their right to speak out on any issue. I also agree that the House’s immigration bill is just plain wrong and should be scrapped. I can’t however understand the intent behind this statement or how they think it will increase any kind of political pressure. In fact, it seems kind of opportunistic to me (especially point 3). Are they conflating separate issues just to get noticed? A joint statement by the group also contained the following as a possible explanation to my question:

…the House bill makes being an undocumented immigrant a felony. The same was true for LGBTs. Sexual relations between same-sex couples were criminal until the Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws. So they wrote, ‘To love and show compassion should never be criminal.’” [Link]

Still seems like a weak connection to me. I am pointing this out because I often see various organizations (e.g. non-profits, non-partisan PACs, etc.) advocating for idealogies peripheral to their apparent mission, which results in an ultimately less effective/powerful organization. In this case I agree with their stance but I feel that by taking a position as a group they may be pigeonholing themselves into irrelevance for future debates.

One of the first questions people always ask me in regards to my work with SAAVY is, “What issues are important to South Asian American youth?” “What issues are important to South Asian American youth?”In surveys our organizers took of the South Asian youth (18-25 yr.) community during the 2004 elections where we asked “What issues are important to how you will vote?” the top three were, 1) The war in Iraq, 2) healthcare and 3) economy. Though these were issues that influenced them on how they voted, it is interesting to note how it is different from a survey taken earlier where we asked “What issues are important to you as a South Asian American?” Our results showed that the top 5 issues, in no particular order, were 1) racial profiling 2) hate crimes, 3) affirmative action 4) globalization and 5) cost of education.

The cost of education has been a big topic in the news recently, and is an important issue to most of the youth I talk to. I know I can’t be the only one affected by the recent hike in interest rate of federal student loans.

Rep. George Miller (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Whip Dick Durbin (Ill.) introduced bills before the Easter recess that would halt the scheduled July 1 increase in interest rates for federally subsidized student loans, reducing the fixed rate from 6.8 percent to 3.4 percent. Miller and Durbin last week helped launch a coordinated grassroots campaign aimed at promoting the bill among college students and their parents… Durbin and Miller’s “raid” refers to the $12.5 billion cut in student aid programs passed earlier this year as part of budget reconciliation, but Keller said the bulk of the cuts hit banks and other lenders in the pocket, not students. [link]

Here we are fighting for a decrease in the federal student loan interest rate, but what about undocumented immigrant students out there that don’t even have access to apply for federal aid? For them, we have the DREAM Act.

Of the estimated 10 million undocumented immigrants in this country, approximately 1 million come from Asia. Most South Asians in the United States are unaware of the number of undocumented people in our community and the obstacles they face. [link]

Two bills recently introduced in Congress seek radically different outcomes for undocumented U.S. residents…A provision in the Senate bill, called the DREAM Act, would allow some undocumented residents to qualify for legal residency if they arrived in this country before age 16 and at least five years before the bill’s enactment. [link]

Dear Kaavya,

This is your Akka writing. The fact that you have never met me is immaterial; we are brown and we don’t live in the land our parents were born in—that alone means that you probably have relatives you’ve never met, just like I do, so Akka it easily is.

Paavum Kaavya (let’s call you PK for short), there is something I want you to know, but before I disclose that, I have to admit a fault of which I am rather ashamed, a fault which I hope you’ll forgive your imperfect Akka for.

I was jealous of you.

Just a bissel, but it was enough to make me loathe myself for a few minutes. Green looks fabulous on me, but envy surely does not flatter. Wait, don’t frown—I promise that once I was aware that I was being a twat, I earnestly called myself out on it and owned my jealousy. Long before I admitted that my “unlikely-fantasy-if-wishes-came-true” job was acting, I cherished what to me seemed an even more far-fetched aspiration: to write. Getting a book deal seemed like the greatest thing which could possibly happen to someone. To get paid to write? Wow. And that you did, with a stunning advance, which everyone bandies about ad nauseum, since it makes your “fall” all the more violent.

Sigh. How I wished that my parents had been savvy enough to enroll me in an Ivy-League-Prep-Camp-Thing. Where my counselor, who just happened to be a published author, would discover me as if I were some naïve starlet in a ‘40s era soda shop and then pluck me out of the sweaty, freaked-out ranks of cloned overachievers and marvel at my genuine uniqueness. My parents made me turn down Columbia for U.C. Davis. My parents are SO not your parents. Your parents gave you everything, including an inadvertent star-making opp that made me want to howl. You’re nearly half my age. It’s like watching your little sister get married before you do. It’s a little humiliating to endure, in this obsessed with chronological-milestones culture we share.

So, whenever this group blog of mine did a post about you, I’d look down and notice that my skin suddenly looked wayyy more olive than usual. Then I’d take a deep breath and tell myself that you deserved it. That you had hustled for it, working on your writing when in comparison, 17-year old me probably would’ve been brooding over which Smiths or Ultravox LP to spin next. My skin would go back to the shade my mother calls “irrantharam” and I’d exhale with relief. It felt good to be silently proud of you.

Here’s the thing my little PK: I still am. And I’m a little appalled at how many people are crowing elatedly about your alleged toppling. The first thing I thought of when I read the “Crimson” writing on the blog was that tragically accurate, snarktastic story about the pet shop with international crabs. You’re looking at me blankly. I’m sure you haven’t slept. Tut-tut. That won’t do. You know brown girls are predisposed to developing those nasty under eye circles. Take a benadryl, bachi. Your skin and, well, everything will thank you. Hell, take a nap right now. I’ll dispel your probably non-existent curiosity about crabs for you, like a wee bedtime story.

Top down, rust willing. HQ arrival, stomach flipping.

Chevy ride, Cavalier 1996. Canuck tux locked down, toque looking gorgeous.

Maple offerings smuggled in the back seat. Curry crisps, beaver tails, India Pale Ale treats.

O ho! What’s that? Some sound is coming… No, it can’t be! Real MONKEYS hollering?!

Big one, red bum, jumps up in front of me. I freak, knees weak, try to smile friendly.

“You’re late!”, squeals bandar bhai, all crossly. “I’m sorry…The border…It is like that only!”

Earlier, I blogged about some maps of the number of religious houses of worship by state - 702 Mandirs, 89 Jain temples, 236 Sikh gurdwaras, 2039 Buddhist temples, and 1855 Islamic masjids / mosques. In response readers asked for maps of the numbers of religious adherents as a percentage of the population. I thought this would be tough, so I told the monkeys in the basement of our bunker that they wouldn’t eat until they brought me such information. I was worried that I would have a bunch of starving monkeys on our hands, but lo and behold - they came through. Below the fold is a map of Muslims as a percentage of residents by county across the entire USAA map of Muslims as a percentage of residents by county across the entire USA. Click on it if you want a larger version.

There are only a handful of counties with between 2 and 10% muslims - Queens (obviously), but also one in Michigan, one in Ohio, one in Delaware, one in Virginia and a few in Georgia. Not at all where I expected them to be. None of them are in California at all, but both CA and upstate NY have a number of counties with between .8 - 2.1% muslim populations, as do Michigan, Jersey, Texas, and several other states. Heck, even Wyoming and Colorado meet that threshold in a few places!

Unfortunately, no such maps are readily available for Hindus, Jains, Sikhs or Buddhists, probably because they’re too small a section of the population, and too dispersed, to readily show up.

I’ve spent the last five days at the cathedral for Greek Orthodox Easter and as anyone who knows anything about the Orthodox Church is aware, this means that I spent close to twenty hours in a haze of frankincense and liturgical chanting. Sometimes, an hour would pass which didn’t require much participation on my part and my thoughts would predictably wander.

Taz seemed to be a hit with our readers— and that meant that the pressure was on. So, who should our next honored guest blogger be? She should obviously be a she, but which witty woman could we borrow, who could hang with the incorrigible XYs in the bunker, beat them at pool and Xbox AND do it all backwards while in high heels?
The chanting continued and I looked up towards the mosaic-adorned dome. My wish listing continued shamelessly, despite the fact that greed is a sin.

My dream girl would adore Almodovar yet choose to further shrink the pathetic amount of space we provide guest bloggers in their cells by unpacking books she can’t live without, by Rand and Rushdie, no less. (I can see that I’m going to get no rest any time soon, not with having to stand outside her door to keep the Vij and Vinod at bay.) When I ask her why on earth she’d bring thousands of pages to a place where she’d be expected to write feverishly, she’d reply that she couldn’t, nay, wouldn’t be forced to choose just one tome to take with her to the barren land where our bunker lies.

She’d have to be okay with musical snobs who make Pitchfork-ers seem humble; we play a ton of conscious hip-hop, loopy trip hop and even a smattering of pop. If she can stump us by dropping something unfamiliar in the mix, she’ll be golden. What am I typing…she’s my dream girl…she’ll school us mercilessly, probably with something addictive like Spank Rock.

The chanting grew appropriately mournful and so did I. My dream girl was just that, an apparition, an apsara, an absolutely impossible cocktail of coolness. I sighed audibly and the austere yia yia to my left glared at me. Time to focus on gettin’ saved. I had been a bad girl, after all.

Suddenly a light pierced the church, as if heaven itself was opening and I heard what sounded like a celestial chorus of angels in perfect harmony. Eureka. I have found her.

Many of you have already picked up on the story broken by the Harvard Crimson on Sunday. It appears VERY likely that young author Kaavya Viswanathan is a cheat. Her newly released novel, part of a lucrative two-book deal, has several passages that are almost identical to a 2001 novel that examined similar adolescent themes:

A recently-published novel by Harvard undergraduate Kaavya Viswanathan ‘08, “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life,” contains several passages that are strikingly similar to two books by Megan F. McCafferty—the 2001 novel “Sloppy Firsts” and the 2003 novel “Second Helpings.”

At one point, “Opal Mehta” contains a 14-word passage that appears verbatim in McCafferty’s book “Sloppy Firsts.”

Reached on her cell phone Saturday night, Viswanathan said, “No comment. I have no idea what you are talking about.”

McCafferty, the author of three novels and a former editor at the magazine Cosmopolitan, wrote in an e-mail to The Crimson Saturday night: “I’m already aware of this situation, and so is my publisher…” [Link]

Normally I would be skeptical until I heard more about this, but the Crimson has just broken it down to the point where you know how this is all going to end. Her literary career is over. If I were her I would think about falling back on medical school or something real quick. I was thrilled to see a teenage girl that could still write and didn’t use “u” instead of “you,” or “r” instead of “are.” My hopes for the next generation are now completely dashed. Here are just two of the numerous examples of apparent plagiarism cited by the Crimson:

From page 217 of McCafferty’s first novel: “But then he tapped me on the shoulder, and said something so random that I was afraid he was back on the junk.”

From page 142 of Viswanathan’s novel: “…he tapped me on the shoulder and said something so random I worried that he needed more expert counseling than I could provide…”

From page 237 of McCafferty’s first novel: “Finally, four major department stores and 170 specialty shops later, we were done.”

From page 51 of Viswanathan’s novel: “Five department stores, and 170 specialty shops later, I was sick of listening to her hum along to Alicia Keys……” [Link]

…unless you’re a Bangladeshi Muslim Woman in the UK. Then it’s all good -

A BANGLADESHI woman who shook a baby boy so violently that he suffered brain damage walked free from court yesterday because a judge conceded that she did not know how to behave in the West.

Rahella Khanom, 24, caused the five-month-old boy in her care to suffer fractures to his breast bone and ribs as she tried to rid him of evil spirits, Southwark Crown Court was told.

The injuries inflicted on the child over several weeks had caused one side of his brain to shrink. It was believed that the boy would have been screaming in agony for eight weeks because his injuries went untreated.

…The court was told that Khanom, a Muslim, did not understand that shaking a helpless baby would not exorcise an evil spirit.

The judge issued a verdict which is almost its own caricature of a relativist, multiculturalist world gone astray -

the judge said that Khanom’s strong cultural and religious beliefs, and the fact that she had been forced by her husband to live in isolation since coming to Britain from Bangladesh, meant that there were exceptional circumstances in her case.

One can only imagine other, future defenses inspired by the socio-cultural isolation tank argument.

People around the world are celebrating the joys of mother earth- Today is April 22nd, Earth Day. As an environmental activist since the days I ran the recycling club in junior high, I realized early on just how my actions here in the U.S. had an affect on South Asia.We’ve talked here on Sepia Mutiny on the issues of shipbreaking on the coast of India, to the extinction of tigers. But the hottest environmental issue around the world right now (and the price at the gas pump only reenforces it) are the issues of energy and climate change.

Happy Earth Day!

The Earth’s climate has been changing slowly over the centuries. Cold periods have alternated with warm periods. However, these changes have been happening at a much faster and devastating rate in recent years. The 1980s and 1990s were the warmest decades on record.

In the past, natural processes could handle the amounts of greenhouse gases generated, and the system remained in balance. In recent decades, however, human activity through increased use of fossil fuels and cutting down of forests has been overloading the natural processes. Greenhouse gases are now being generated by the burning of fossil fuels to run cars and factories and heat buildings, as well as by industrial processes.[link]

Bangladesh, being a delta, will have to deal with the rising sea level that will result in the changing in global temperature.

Experts say warmer global temperatures will increase the intensity of cyclones that form over the Bay of Bengal, sending more violent storm surges crashing into the coast. The saltwater front will crawl further inland, rendering farmland unusable and polluting much of the country’s drinking water. The Sundarbans National Forest, a wild swath of mangroves that plays an important role in the nation’s ecology, could be wiped out. Most alarmingly, as much as 18 percent of the land could slip into the bay in the next 100 years because of rising sea level, according to the World Bank, displacing as many as 30 million people. [link]

But finally, the U.S. realizes that environmental degradation is a transnational issue and will be supporting South Asia on developing clean energy technology.

“The energy sector is key to the economic growth of South Asia and the deployment of clean technologies can help balance economic development with environmental protection,” said George Deikun, mission director of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) India.

Deikun said USAID’s efforts to promote regional energy cooperation through its South Asia Regional Initiative/Energy (SARI/E) programme and its work in the energy sector in India and other countries of this region underscored this principle. [link]

I know what you’re thinking- that changing a small part of your life isn’t going to make that big of a difference to decreasing the changing climate. But even the smallest thing you do can have a huge impact on decreasing your ecological footprint (this site tells you just how big your footprint is). What difference can you make?

Chinese premier Hu Jintao didn’t get anywhere near the cordial reception on his Washington visit that Manmohan Singh received last year. Hu’s on first but Singh’s on third, sucking face with Dubyita Applebaum. Chhi!

Related posts: The fanny state, The tortoise and the hare, The cost of progress, BusinessHype, Fortune cookies, CIA has India surpassing Europe in 15 years, Indian companies hiring engineers in China

J, Rohit, and I went to the Indian Film Festival of Los Angeles last night. This is my fourth year in a row attending. The film directors usually show up after the movie for a little Q&A as an extra bonus. The first movie I ever saw at the festival was Everybody Says I’m Fine. The main character in that film (a mind-reading hair dresser) really “spoke to me.” I have returned every year to sample some desi cinema that, thankfully, isn’t Bollywood. I had purchased us some tickets to the movie Parzania starring Naseeruddin Shah and…Corin Nemec. Let me tell you folks that Parker Lewis CAN lose, but we will get to that later.

J was having a good time before the movie because she swears she saw either Tia or Tamara. She wasn’t sure which one but does it honestly matter? The word on the street is that the night before at the premiere, the likes of Reggie Miller, Chad Lowe (looking sad sans Hilary Swank), and Sheetal Sheth had all been spotted. I was in the mood for a good film because I have had a very unlucky month. First I had a bad cold for two weeks, then last Sunday I got a painful root canal infection that is requiring me to take antibiotics (which sucks because I’m running a relay marathon on Sunday). I’ve just been feeling very unsexy of late. On top of that I spilled my Thai-takeout all over my kitchen floor while rushing to make it to the festival to meet J. Would some cinema magic be able to numb all of my pain and put an uplifting bounce back into my step?

So here is the synopsis of the film Parzania:

Parzania is the breathtaking untold story of an event that changed the country and the world forever.

Cynical. Intelligent. Hilarious. Drunk. An American man by the name of Allan Webbings arrives in Ahmedabad city. For the longest time, Allan has been searching for answers, praying to find both internal peace and understanding of the horrors that religious differences can create. Allan has chosen India as his playground, and Gandhi as his subject. It’s here that he meets Cyrus, the local projectionist who brings the young and troubled intellectual into his beautiful family. Cyrus is a Parsi, a follower of a rarely practiced religion that is both small in numbers and neutral to religious politics. He has a beautiful wife named Shernaz, a practical woman who after eleven years still can’t resist his charisma and charm; two children- Parzan an imaginative ten year old that has developed his own world, the world of Parzania, where the buildings are made of chocolate and the mountains of ice cream. Parzan, in his mind, has created the perfect world, a world that only his eight year old little sister Dilshad truly understands.

Through Cyrus’s family, Allan finds his peace, right before the rest of the country loses its sanity. One morning, the beauty and peace that India is so famous for, is rocked beyond measure, as a bomb explodes in a train killing Hindus.

Within 24 hours, thousands of Muslims are slaughtered, making that day one of the largest acts of communal violence the country has ever seen. And in the midst of the terror and violence, Parzan comes up missing.

While Cyrus fights for his own sanity and searches for his child, Alan battles to uncover the truth behind the riots.
Parzania is inspired by a true story. [Link]

Every once in awhile, introducing a writer demands that you not pen something funny, embarrassing or insightful, that you get out of the way and simply quote the fabulosity. This is one of those times: rollin’ down D.C., sippin’ on Love and Haterade.

On the relationship between eyefucking and classical dance:

… fifteen years of Indian dance classes have made me ridiculously good at eyefuckingFifteen years of Indian dance classes have made me ridiculously good at eyefucking. Like, I think I’m better at eyefucking than some people are in bed. [Link]

On Indian parents and parallel parking:

Lester and Sally [parents] never taught either of us how to parallel park with actual cars… We often wonder what that might have looked like to unsuspecting suburban passerby… Two orange cones in an empty parking lot, a middle-aged balding Indian man explaining the art of parallel parking with charts and math and interpretive dance, and a disgruntled hyphenated-American teenager standing by the sidelines watching the scene unfold with amusement and shame, longing for the day she would have a license to drive away from it all. [Link]

On the masonry cock-block:

The building had unbelievable restrictions about overnight guests… they were truly outrageous: forms needed to be filled out at least 24 hours in advanced, signed by all your suite-mates, then approved by the building… I almost felt bad for the kids because it made an outside random hookup absolutely impossible… the building itself was perhaps the greatest cock block of all time…

Katrina (whose hair, if I haven’t mentioned it, was totally JBF): Well, it’s just that…

[The author]: Katrina? Unless he’s dying and sleeping with you was the antidote to that death, I assure you — he’s ok… I promise you, Katrina, in my 26 years on this earth, I’ve never seen anyone die as a result of unfulfilled desire.

And with that, Katrina fled the building and followed her Michael Fink into the dark night. [Link]

From our News Tab we got word that late on Thursday the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Atlanta unsealed and indictment against a Pakistani American student at Georgia Tech, as well as another Atlanta-based U.S. citizen who was arrested a few days ago in Dhaka. From CNN:

A Georgia Tech university student has been indicted for material support of terrorism, and another Atlanta-area man has been arrested in Bangladesh in connection with the case, authorities said Thursday.

Though the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Atlanta on Thursday unsealed an indictment against Syed Ahmed, 21, details remained sealed. A grand jury indicted him March 23, the same day he was arrested.

“The charge against Mr. Ahmed is serious and involves national security and will be prosecuted with that in mind,” U.S. Attorney David Nahmias said in a news release.

Ahmed is not accused of committing a terrorist act; he is charged only with providing material support, the federal prosecutor said…

On Monday, Ehsanul Islam Sadequee, 19, was arrested in the Bangladeshi capital of Dhaka, according to his sisters. He was handed over to the FBI and put on a plane to New York on Thursday, the federal source said. [Link]

We have to remember that grand juries will usually indict anyone with a pulse. More details about the actual indictment will hopefully follow in the next several weeks and we will try to keep an eye on it. I am assuming that this will turn out to be more than just part of the “taking pictures while brown” phenomenon.

Ahmed is studying mechanical engineering at Georgia Tech. He is a naturalized American citizen and the papers detailing his arrest last month on charges related to terrorism have his parents shocked and surprised….

Ahmed’s family suspects a videotape of their son made of a building, is what authorities are suspicious of. The family reportedly allowed federal agents to take computer information from their son’s room. [Link]

I love Vik’s. Every time I go to the Bay area, I always make it a point to visit Vik’s. And as I go through my life here in Los Angeles, I pray for the day that Vik’s will show up in my neighborhood. Chances are if you are even minutely familiar with the Bay area, you know exactly where I’m talking about. The SF Chronicle just did a piece trying to figure out what makes Vik’s so great (thanks, maisnon).

Dhokla

From its beginnings in 1989 as a bare counter with just a few chairs at the front of the store, Vik’s Chaat Corner now fills an entire warehouse, and on a typical Saturday will serve more than 1,200 customers.”Our food is craving food for Indians,” says Amod Chopra, Vinod and Indira’s 35-year-old son, who helps run the business. “You don’t crave naan or tandoori chicken. You want to eat the zippy, zesty food.”

Chaat combine various textures and flavors — crunchy, crisp and soft, spicy, tangy, fresh and sour. Crackers and dumplings, made from lentils, chickpeas or potatoes, act as vessels for a stunning variety of chutneys — mint, cilantro, coconut and tamarind… Chaat means “to lick” in HindiChaat means “to lick” in Hindi, a result of the fact that chaat originally were served on banana leaves, leaving customers to lick each leaf clean. Nowadays in India, people go out for chaat like Americans do for coffee.[link]

I remember growing up what a sucker I was for the pani puri. When I was visiting Bangladesh, I was told that my sensitive stomach would not be able to withstand the water and spices of the chaat stand. Of course I would sneak out and have some anyways, and suffer through the tummy pains after. Now, you can buy all the chaat ingredients in bags and boxes at your local Indian grocery store. But let me tell you, eating pani puri at your kitchen table is simply not the same as eating it on a street corner with sticky fingers. Vik’s, though not a street corner, has the same chaat house style appeal.

As if thinking about how yummy chaat is doesn’t make your mouth water enough, check out Vik’s online menu. Dahi Papdi Chaar, Sev Puri, and Pav Bhaji, they have it all.

In the basement of our North Dakota headquarters we employ a small but elite team or researchers designated the “SMU.” Their sole job is to predict “the next big thing,” and they are rarely wrong. You see, our marketing department has indicated that based on focus group feedback, readers that visit our site will flock to other blogs the minute we fall behind on what’s happening in the world around us. They will leave us the minute we aren’t ahead of the curve on “what’s cool.” Therefore, whenever the SMU staff starts “rattling their cages,” they know they will have my full attention. I predict that the next big thing (and you are hearing it on our blog first) is…Camel Milk:

While slightly saltier than cow’s milk, camel milk is highly nutritious. Designed after all for animals that live in some of the roughest environments, it is three times as rich in Vitamin C as cow’s milk.

In Russia, Kazakhstan and India doctors often prescribe it to convalescing patients. Aside from Vitamin C, it is known to be rich in iron, unsaturated fatty acids and B vitamins.

Tapping the market for camel milk, however, involves resolving a series of humps in production, manufacturing and marketing. One problem lies in the milk itself, which has so far not proved to be compatible with the UHT (Ultra High Temperature) treatment needed to make it long lasting.

But the main challenge stems from the fact that the producers involved are, overwhelmingly, nomads.

Another problem, according to the FAO, is the nature of the animal itself. Camels can reputedly be pretty stubborn. And unlike cows, which store all their milk in their udders, camels keep theirs further up their bodies. [Link]

Now I know that some of you might not like milk of any kind. Some people just don’t. My mom for example never drinks milk. But what about chocolate? Everybody likes chocolate…

An easier sell would appear to be the low-fat, camel milk chocolate, which A Vienna-based chocolatier, Johann Georg Hochleitner intends to launch a low-fat, camel milk chocolate this autumn. With funding from the Abu Dhabi royal family, his company plans to make the chocolate in Austria from powdered camel milk produced at Al Ain in the United Arab Emirates, then ship 50 tons back to the Gulf each month. [Link]

Much like I have a crush on the boys of Karmacy, Ebrahim, the kids at Beta Project, I now have a crush on the boys over at The Kominas. What can I say, i’m a sucker for the Alterna-Desi types. The Kominas were mentioned earlier this month on Sepia Mutiny as one of the handful of desi punkers that exist here in America. The Boston based trio of Muslim punks rock out with halal music, and songs titles of “Dishoom, Baby” or “Sharia Law in the USA.” The band, consisting of Basim Usmani, Shahjehan Khan, and Adam Brierly, are quickly heading to the top of ‘bands to watch,’and even have a quirky bit on MTV.

The Kominas, whose name means ”bastards” in Punjabi, say they hate labels but offer ”Bollywood Muslim punk” to describe their sound, a blend of punk, metal, and Bhangra folk music. The lyrics, written mainly by Usmani, are clever, sometimes risque commentaries on racial profiling, foreign policy, and religion…

The Kominas: Non-Violent Punks

Their music has attracted fans of all stripes but speaks to young South Asian Muslims who identify with both their faith and American culture, and yet feel welcomed by neither. They’re fed up with racist classmates, judgmental relatives, suspicious neighbors, and the extremists — Islamic and Islamophobic — who have made it a burden to be Muslim in the United States. But thanks to online communities and sites like MySpace, where they post songs and have attracted a substantial following, they now have a pulpit, too. [link]

The band has it’s roots in The Taqwacores, an alterna muslim punk novel that muslim convert Michael Muhammad Knight wrote and sold out of his backpack, until it was recently picked up for publication.

The Taqwacores,” a novel about a group of Muslim punk rockers who smoked dope, read scripture, slam-danced, prayed, had sex, and embodied the tolerance and compassion that Islam encouraged but that, in Knight’s view, were being neglected in favor of rules and rigidity…”The Taqwacores” was ultimately picked up for distribution by Alternative Tentacles, the publisher and music label owned by former Dead Kennedys vocalist Jello Biafra.[link]

I was reading excerpts of The Taqwacores and I have to admit, it’s nothing like what they taught us in the mosque youth group when I was growing up. Muslim youth are raised with a very orthodox set of rules, creating this weird contradiction when living your life in a Western society. But as one who has performed pilgrimage in Mecca as well as one who has jumped around in mosh pits, I find the Taqwacore genre and subsequent movement able to intersect religion and counter culture in a progressive way - similar to the Christian rock movement.

Indo-Canadian Akhil Sachdeva, an accountant originally from Delhi, is suing the U.S. government for his shabby treatment in the aftermath of 9/11. But does he have a case?

Akhil Sachdeva

Chaining him to a bench at the FBI’s Manhattan office on Dec. 20, 2001, federal agents demanded to know his religious and political beliefs, asked whether he had taken flying lessons and sought his personal views about the suicide hijackers…

… 30 or 40 armed agents barged into the uncle’s home where he was staying and took him away. At the FBI’s offices, they shackled his legs to a steel bench and interrogated him for four to five hours, never offering him a call to his family or lawyer, he said…

Sachdeva said he was later taken to the Passaic County Jail, where he was strip-searched and put in a cell with dozens of inmates… He and the other seven plaintiffs say their biggest fear came from guards who threatened them and the police dogs that were routinely paraded. “… suddenly there are eight or 10 officers holding dogs, then they took us in small corridors and pushed us against the walls, and the dogs were two inches away,” Sachdeva said. “They started barking and it was so terrifying.”‘They… pushed us against the walls, and the dogs were two inches away’

Other inmates called them terrorists, and one punched him in the face…

“One day I have everything, the next day they destroyed my life and I was not even charged for anything… I had done no crime… how can they treat people that way?” [Link]

I recently checked out How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life at Crossword, a Barnes & Noble-like Indian chain with Barista-style upstairs cafés. The book is chick lit for teens, and the Indian cover interprets that so literally it shows a girl carrying both strappy heels and a stack of textbooks.

UK/India cover

The cover model for the UK/India edition could be desi, but her look is more toward the white end of the spectrum. Nor is Opal a common desi name. If I recall correctly (and I may be wrong — will double-check), there’s no mention of Mehta’s desi origins on the cover or in the official blurb (though the blurb for industry buyers is more accurate). Her desi-ness has been excised as neatly as was the turbaned actor from the Life Aquatic poster. To a casual browser it would almost certainly seem that Opal Mehta was just another white character, albeit with a funny last name.

I’m of two minds about this. In one sense it’s wonderful and somewhat subversive to have a desi character where her ethnicity isn’t made an issue. But in this story, surely Mehta’s upper-middle-class, post-‘65 desi American-ness is a key reason why her parents are obsessive about her academic life. The plot summary reads like a parody of Asian American parental pushiness. That she’s desi seems integral to the plot.

Not that this is the author’s fault. New authors have famously little say over the trade dress of the product, though later Rushdie books have conspicuously avoided sari covers. (One of the worst: a hardcover of former BBC India correspondent Mark Tully’s book The Heart of India; it has that overbroad title, a garish, hot pink cover, a woman in a sari and a border smothered in garlands.)

SM’s favorite plus-size man is in the spotlight once again [via Dhoomketu]. Dalip Singh (see previous posts 1,2) made his World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) debut earlier this week (watch him introduced). I will give $5 to anyone who can translate what he says for SM readers :). Here is the ring-side play-by-play:

Daivari made his triumphant return with the giant Dalip Singh! They walked out from backstage, slowly walking to the ring. The announcers didn’t know who this giant man was, but noted that he was being managed by Mark Henry’s manager. Taker bounced Henry’s head off the announce table.

[Under]Taker turned around and saw Singh. Singh stepped over the top rope and got in the ring, staring down Taker. Taker got in the ring. Taker had to look up at Singh. The announcers talked about how massive Singh is. Taker threw a right hand, but Singh basically no sold it. He threw another right hand, but it barely moved him. Singh then hit a karate chop to the head of Taker, knocking him down! Taker sat up, but Singh grabbed him by the throat. He ripped open one of the turnbuckles with one hand, then bounced Taker’s head off the exposed turnbuckle. Singh headbutted Taker in the back of the head twice. Daivari shouted “Do it again! Do it again!” Singh delivered another headbutt to the back of the head. There were tons of boos from the crowd. Singh hit a big kick to Taker’s head. Singh stood over the downed Taker as Daivari celebrated next to him. [Link]

Instead of the above you could just watch the clip and do your own play-by-play. I was never much into “entertainment” wrestling. The only reason I sometimes watched as a kid was because my dad wouldn’t let me. He said watching wrestling made you dumber and so it was forbidden in our house. I’d watch occasionally because I don’t like being told what to do, plus I wanted to see if he was right. The character that Singh plays in the WWE is named “the Great Khali.” He has quite a bio:

Hailing from India, The Great Khali stands at an impressive 7 foot 3 and weighs 420 pounds. The Great Khali has walked the jungles of India unafraid of pythons and wrestled White Bengal tigers. Daivari claims that The Great Khali has “stared into the abyss and the earth trembled at his gaze.” One of the largest athletes the WWE has ever bared witness to, The Great Khali stands to be a powerful force and a threat to every member of the SmackDown locker room. [Link]

But…here is something not in his WWE bio. Singh has wrestled in the States before. According to many wrestling observers he is a nice guy but just not any good at wrestling. Actually, in 2001 he accidentally killed a man in the ring by doing an imperfect “powerbomb.”

A Kashmiri man was recently injured by an explosive cigarette either distributed by militants or airdropped by Acme Corporation. While I feel terrible for the guy who was hurt, the moral here is, don’t pick up stuff by the side of the road and, like, smoke it.

Thakkar landed in hospital after he lit one of the two cigarettes he found lying in a field in Mislai village of Doda district…

… terrorists are probably experimenting with the low-cost idea of filling cigarettes with explosives, leaving them in public places to tempt smokers to pick these and light up. [Link]

“Militants are now using explosive-filled cigarettes to carry out blasts in Jammu and Kashmir. One such cigarette has been recovered last night,” Col Badola said. [Link]

If the FDA randomly hid a few of these in every thousand packs of cigarettes, just imagine where the smoking rate would be now.

That’s right, exactly the same. Only some smokers would need to switch hands while taking a hit off the cancer stick.

A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about how Biju Mathew was in the Bay Area speaking on topics of taxi wallahs, an event coordinated by the people at Friends of South Asia (FOSA). He was invited to speak at Stanford, but then The Stanford Daily wrote a story on April 8th (Friday) which accused Biju of having communist and terrorist sympathies- suggestions received from an anonymous source.

Biju

One source, a man who has protested against previous FOSA events, but wished to remain anonymous, expressed concern over what he perceives as Islamist and Communist sympathies within the organization. Mathew himself has also drawn criticism for his radical political beliefs… At one time his Web page featured a link to the Unabomber’s Manifesto, although the link is no longer active… The same protester said that he is troubled by Mathew’s “support for the Unabomber and his association with the Communist Party of India (Marxist).”[link]

Because of the article, Biju was kicked off of speaking on campus. All this makes me reminisce of that time here at UCLA that Vinay Lal made Dirty Thirty list, and the McCarthyism-like tactics that were used. This article was officially retracted over the weekend, and on Monday The Stanford Daily stated the following apology…

We apologize for last Friday’s article on the upcoming event organized by Friends of South Asia (FOSA) (“Leftist speaker sparks debate,” Apr. 7). FOSA does not have any ties to Communist or terrorist groups. We should not have made such allegations on the basis of a single anonymous source. We also apologize to Prof. Biju Mathew for associating him in any way with the Unabomber and other extremist elements.[link]

Tsk, tsk. Bad journalism at its finest. Even I, as a mere blogger, could have told you not to base your story on one anonymous source. This letter to the editor sums it up, pretty much.

The French government has announced it will rate bureaucratic red tape using a ‘Kafka index’:

France has created a “Kafka index” that measures the complexity of a project or law against its usefulness to cut red tape. The index - referring to Franz Kafka’s The Trial, which describes one man’s fight against a nightmarish bureaucracy - is a scale of one to 100 measuring how many hurdles, from forms to letters or phone calls, are needed to win state permits or aid for a project.

“It is an indicator to measure as objectively as possible the most complex procedures so that we can then simplify them,” said a government spokesman. [Link]

I’d have suggested a Brazil index had I not witnessed the following exchange at a Reliance Mobile branch in Bombay last week:

Customer: I closed my account a month ago, but you billed me another thousand bucks.

Rep: Saar, you have to clear an additional 80 rupee charge.

Customer: Where do I go to get the account permanently closed?

Rep: Saar, you must go to the Lilavati branch.

Customer: I’ve been going there for four days now. Every day they say their systems are down.

Rep: Saar, that is the only branch which can close accounts.

Customer: I just came from there!

Rep: You must go there only.

Customer: I just came from there!

Rep: You must go there only.

Customer: I just came from there!

Rep: You must go there only.

The survivors of the Pan Am Flight 73 hijacking of 1986 have just filed a $10B reparations suit against the government of Libya because of information which came out in 2004 about Libya’s role:

… the lawsuit was filed in the U.S. District Court of the District of Columbia, and it seeks $10 billion in compensatory damages, as well as unspecified punitive damages, from Libya, its long-time leader, Muammar Qadhafi, and the five convicted militants, all of whom were members of the notorious group Abu Nidal Organisation (ANO). [Link]

The Bombay-Karachi-Frankfurt-JFK flight was taken over in Karachi by a Middle Eastern terror group called Abu Nidal. Four men dressed as Pakistani security guards and bristling with arms got on board the Boeing 747. Twenty people were massacred on board:The hijackers had intended to crash the jumbo jet into Tel Aviv

Flight attendants were able to alert the cockpit crew using intercom, allowing the pilot, co-pilot and flight engineer to escape through a hatch in the cockpit, effectively grounding the aircraft…

… flight attendants surreptitiously declined to collect some of the United States passports and hid other United States passports from the hijackers… [Link]

Sometimes it’s better to be a citizen of a subcontinental country:

When [Jordanian terrorist Zayd Safarini] arrived at the seat of Rajesh Kumar, a 29-year-old California resident who had recently been naturalized as an American citizen, Safarini ordered Kumar to go to the front doorway of the aircraft and to kneel with his hands behind his head… Shortly thereafter he shot Kumar in the head and pushed him out the door onto the tarmac below… [Link]

Surviving passenger Jay Grantier, a resident of the state of Washington, said, “This was an attack on America. The terrorists murdered their first victim because he was an American, and when they ordered the cabin crew to collect all our passports, it was pretty obvious that they intended to kill more of us in the hours to come.” [Link]

In 2005 much of Ohio politics was dominated by the controversy surrounding a scandal dubbed “Coingate” by the media:

Coingate is a nickname for the Thomas Noe investment scandal in Ohio revealed in early 2005 in part by Ohio newspaper Toledo Blade. The Ohio government’s Bureau of Workers’ Compensation fund (BWC) invested hundreds of millions of dollars in high risk or unconventional investment vehicles run by people closely connected to the Ohio Republican party who had made large campaign contributions to many senior Republican party officials.

A rare coin investment fund has attracted particular scrutiny after it was reported that two coins worth more than $300,000 had been lost. Further investigation then revealed that coins worth $10-$12 million were missing and that only $13 million of the original $50 million invested could be accounted for. [Link]

As you would expect, politicians, especially Democrats running for office this year, find it beneficial to point to the Coingate affair as another example of Republican corruption and a reason to vote to change the status quo. One of those politicians is a Democrat named Subodh Chandra (see previous SM mention here) who is running for Attorney General of Ohio. Subodh recently talked about the Coingate affair to drum up support at one of his fundraisers. Well…he didn’t so much “talk” about Coingate, rather he…well you’ll see:

Apparently it was a “kid friendly” fundraiser. What? Kids in pre-school really do dig politics. The man is providing a valuable service to a segment of the population that lacks a voice in their government. His puppeteering skills aren’t bad either.

A newly declassified Indian navy investigation says that the only Indian naval vessel ever sunk by an enemy submarine was inadequately protected, and the Indian navy initiated an immediate cover-up. The Pakistani sub Hangor torpedoed the INS Khukri during the 1971 India-Pakistan war. An accompanying Indian ship fled instead of returning fire. But many involved received awards for gallantry rather than court martials for dereliction of duty.

… a Pakistani submarine torpedoed and sank the Khukri on the night of December 9, 1971. It is the single biggest wartime casualty of independent India. There was never a court of inquiry to find out if anyone was responsible for the ship going down.

… in their last moments some 250 officers and sailors of the Khukri were abandoned by INS Kirpan, an accompanying naval ship that should have carried out an immediate counterattack250 sailors were abandoned by an accompanying naval ship . It also reveals that the navy’s claim that it hunted and sank the Pakistani submarine a few hours later to be false. The Hangor returned to Karachi harbour safely…

“The Khukri, in company with another A/S (anti-submarine) ship Kirpan, was torpedoed and sunk without even an engagement with the enemy. Eighteen officers and 176 sailors perished with the Khukri. Both the COs deserved to be punished, but the higher authorities gave them gallantry awards. INS Khukri and INS Kirpan violated every principle of A/S doctrine for hunter killer operations…” [Link]

If true, this revisionism may be linked to a military and civilian culture which gives greater weight to saving face than fixing problems.

… It also raises uncomfortable questions about numerous gallantry awards given out by the government to many involved in the incident. [Link]

It reminds me of the Pat Tillman friendly fire cover-up by the U.S. Army Rangers:

… the military’s top commanders were covering up the truth to protect their image… Although “soldiers on the scene said they were immediately sure Tillman was killed by a barrage of American bullets,” according to the Post, and “a new Army report on the death shows that top Army officials, including the theater commander, Gen. John P. Abizaid, were told that Tillman’s death was fratricide days before the service,” Army officials decided not to inform Tillman’s family or the public until weeks after the memorial…

I was mindlessly watching the mind-numbing local news of Los Angeles (it’s usually either a shooting or a car chase), and I did a double take. On my TV, there was a group of Sikhs parading on the streets in front of the Staple Center and a shot of Mayor Villaraigosa in a blue turban.[Google image has not been able to help me on this one, but trust.]

“What makes L.A. so special is that we come here from every corner of the Earth to participate in the American dream,” [Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa] said during a prayer service at the Los Angeles Convention Center, part of a celebration for Baisakhi Day, the India-based religion’s annual holiday of renewal and rebirth…Organizers said that as many as 15,000 Sikhs from throughout Southern California attended the daylong event, which included music, free food and a colorful parade through downtown.[link]

Busy weekend. Not only was it Sri Lankan New Year, Bangladeshi Bengali New Year, Thai New Year (with water fights), Easter, the Los Angeles SM Meetup, but it was Baisakhi Day as well.

L.A.’s Blue Turbaned Mayor

Baisakhi Day, which historically marks the year’s first harvest, commemorates a principal guru’s directive in 1699 that Sikhs “become protectors of the human spirit.” [link]

The Sadh Sangat of Sikh Dharma held its first celebration of Baisakhi in Los Angeles in April, 1970…Since the late 1980s, the Sikh Dharma Baisakhi Celebration has been held at the vast Los Angeles Convention Center, in collaboration with a network of Southern California Gurdwaras…This year’s Baisakhi theme is “We are the Khalsa - A Legacy of Service.”… To highlight that standard, this year Golden Temple Cereals, a socially and environmentally responsible company founded by Yogi Bhajan, will be making a presentation to the Los Angeles Mayor’s office on behalf of the entire Sikh Community of Southern California, and donating a truckload of Peace Cereals to the Los Angeles Food Bank. [link]

Yum, Peace Cereal. And a peaceful post 9/11 message at the parade to go with it…

“In the post-9/11 environment, the turban has gotten a lot of negative associations because of the images we’ve seen,” said Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa, a spokeswoman for Sikh Dharma International, one of the event’s sponsors… “The Sikh turban, from a values perspective, is synonymous with the core Bill of Rights.” [link]

Whatever your holiday of choice was this weekend, I hope it went well-!

Meetups might just be the most delightfully unexpected dish which is made from all this flavorful brownness (which conveniently is contained in one savory packet). When liveblogging isn’t possible, sometimes the best substitute is looking at all the wacky, joyful pictures which inevitably get captured by the half-dozen or so cameras which tend to be around (80% of which are Canons— you read it here first).

Now that we’ve had several meetups in four Amreekan cities, I just know that there are potentially hundreds of pictures moldering away on your computers, pictures which could find a home in the Flickr group created just for the Mutiny. LA Mutineers, this is a gentle plea to share your pictures with the rest of us via this outlet. If you are already a member of Flickr, you may comment on the 100 photographs which are already up, all from last month’s fantastic DC meetup. If you’re not a member, you can still view all pictures by clicking here.

I PROMISE you’ll want to see what’s hiding after the jump. ;)

Juhu Beach is mobbed on Sundays:

Pao bhaji on the beach (in the U.S., this qualifies as a riot :) )

Kalakhatta walla

Last week we discussed some of the South Asian participation in the immigration rallies that took place across the country. An SM tipster informs me that director Joseph Matthew, originally from Kerala, has a new documentary out called Crossing Arizona which highlights the tensions between various factions down at the U.S.-Mexico border.

CROSSING ARIZONA is an up-to-the-moment look at the hotly debated issues of illegal immigration and border security on the U.S./Mexico border.

Heightened security along the Texas and California borders funnels an estimated 4,500 illegal migrants, most traveling on foot, into remote sectors of the Arizona desert on a daily basis. The perilous journey, which can take up to four days, has led to the deaths of thousands of migrants.

The influx of migrants and rising death toll has elicited impassioned responses and complicated feelings about human rights, culture, class and national security. Through the eyes of frustrated ranchers, local activists, desperate migrants, and the Minutemen who’ve become darlings of the national media, CROSSING ARIZONA reveals the surprising political stances people take when immigration and border policy fails everyone. [Link]

I checked out the filmmaker’s blog as well (everyone has a blog now). Here was one audience member’s reaction to the film:

The Premiere [at Sundance] was a blast. The Q&A afterwards focused soley on the issues. And it was great to have three characters from the film there to shape the debate. Some Minutemen even showed up and we made sure they were able to get tickets to see the film. After the screening, a Minuteman wrote me: “It is, in fact, an utter disappointment that any honorable U.S. citizen would make such a film.”

He was concerned that the film was off-balance. Simcox himself said that he thought he was portrayed fairly and that the filmmakers allowed him to say everything he wanted to say. May I point out that, during the film, the audience meets multiple characters who have different takes on the situation: landowning ranchers who deal with the consequences of migrants crossing over their land, immigrant rights’ activists who feel that immigrants are being blamed for problems for which they are not responsible, undocumented (but tax-paying) migrant farmworkers, “samaritans,” “vigilantes,” migrants attempting to cross. [Link]

Our resident bean left us a comment which reminded me that we wrote haikus to celebrate a rather obvious holiday two months ago. This, of course, made me feel guilty for being tardy with the 55Friday flash fiction free-for-all, so to distract myself from the shame, thoughts of a third writing exercise which employs “resource constraints” came to mind. Behold, a “Fib”:

Blogs spread
gossip
and rumor
But how about a
Rare, geeky form of poetry? [linky-poo]

What is a “Fib”? It’s a six-line poem inpired by the Fibonacci (Cough! Hemachandra Cough!) sequence, which controls how many syllables can be in each line.

The allure of the form is that it is simple, yet restricted. The number of syllables in each line must equal the sum of the syllables in the two previous lines. So, start with 0 and 1, add them together to get your next number, which is also 1, 2 comes next, then add 2 and 1 to get 3, and so on…Fibs…top out at line six, with eight syllables.[linky-poo]

According to the afore-linked NYT article, April just happens to be National Poetry Month AND Mathematics Awareness Month, so the sudden craze for “fibs” seems especially appropriate. Know what else is apposite?

The earliest known reference to Fibonacci numbers is contained in a book on meters called Chhandah-shāstra (500 BC) by an Indian mathematician named Pingala. As documented by Donald Knuth in The Art of Computer Programming, this sequence was described by the Indian mathematicians Gopala and Hemachandra in 1150, who were investigating the possible ways of exactly bin packing items of length 1 and 2. [wiki]

Paging “Everything-is-Yindian”-Uncle!

I know I usually name our nanofiction-orgies after some much-adored song in my catalog of tunes which I cried to in high school and or watched on “120 Minutes”, but I’m so fascinated by this “new haiku” that I’ll refrain from capping this post with an angst-ridden hat. Everything else is the same as it ever was, so leave your bit o’ brilliance (or a link to where we can find it) in the comments below. 55-word gems which tell a story, haikus which reference mezze and poetry which reminds me of that mindless Da Vinci code…come fifty-five, come all.

Ever since I got my nano, I have been obsessed with downloading podcasts. Since there isn’t a Sepia Mutiny podcast for me to download (ahem) I do the next best thing and listen to a Desi Dilemma, a podcast by a woman named Smitha Radhakrishnan. This week’s series on ‘Desi Love’ perked my ear up- seeing as how the search for a ‘suitable mate’ is always at the forefront topic for most mutineers (or so it seems).

“There was a clear message from the Indian community about dating, that it was somehow inextricably linked with the most dangerous, scary thing that could befall an ABCD kid; an identity crisis.”

As has been mentioned before on this blog, as an ABCD youth one often had to deal with the projection by your peers that the only people you were expected to date is that one other desi in the school, even though you had nothing in common with them. Forget the fact that you weren’t allowed to date; if you had been, there was no one there for you to date, in the often confusing bi-cultural high school years. For me, this reminds me of senior prom. And prom reminds me of how my mother wouldn’t let me go to prom unless I went with my gay guy friend because only then would she know nothing would happen to me on prom night. How’s that for bi-cultural confusion?

A large Indian software company is claiming it’s going to add an eye-popping 25,000 employees, almost half of Microsoft’s worldwide headcount, in the next 12 months.

French feminists have begun agitating to ditch the title of ‘Mademoiselle’ (Miss) and call all women ‘Madame.’ A French organization called Les Chiennes de Garde (the Guard Dog Bitches) wrote:

“The option Madame/Mademoiselle means that a woman has to give an indication about her availability, in particular her sexual availability. A letterbox is not meant to be a dating agency…” [Link]

It’s similar to the shift to Ms. in the U.S.:

The use of Ms. as a title was conceived by Sheila Michaels in 1961… Michaels, who was illegitimate, and not adopted by her stepfather, had long grappled with finding a title which reflected her situation: not being owned by a father and not wishing to be owned by a husband… the title is now standard, especially in business — and where one may not know or find relevant the marital status of the woman so addressed. [Link]

One feminist has a novel reason for the shift:

Emmanuele Peyret, wrote in the newspaper Libération that “the insidious passage from Mademoiselle to Madame is so painful that we may as well begin by being called Madame straight away, in the cradle”. [Link]

I think that’s a fine idea. As you hold a naked, wailing baby upside down and give her the welcome whack, you can say, ‘Pardonnez-moi, madame.’ It’s the polite thing to do.

And why stop there? It is absolutely true that women bear the burden of being marked as property. In fact, the full burkha of devout Muslims angles for complete sexual control, but almost every culture has milder restraints: the bindi, the sindoor, the wedding ring.

I’m of a breed which dislikes wearing things on the skin. We live streamlined, unornamented and unscented. It’s not that I object to status markers, especially one so hard fought-for by women as the reciprocal, male wedding ring. It’s just that wearing rings bugs me.

But there are simple alternatives. By a happy coincidence, the Hindu color of auspiciousness is also the color of traffic lights; the red bindi is also the signal for Stop, She’s Taken. So give me a green bindi to signal Single. Or for my lapel, the slide latch from an airplane loo, set to Available.

Forget Ms., forget Madame, forget cell phone dating. To avoid crossed wires, all you need is one good sticker.

Related posts: The Gender Gap

Norah Jones just released a new album with her country music band, the Little Willies (listen here). I suspected the love that dare not speak its name from her country-inflected second album, Feels Like Home.

In the late-night hours, the smoky-voiced jazz singer and her friends would go out to one of [New York’s] intimate music clubs and - in front of an audience no less - get on stage with her friends to belt out … country tunes… Her band - known as the Little Willies - has released its first [self-titled] album, filled with rollicking covers of songs by the likes of Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, and Hank Williams Jr., plus a few penned by the Little Willies’ own members…

Their label name, Milking B., reminds me of my favorite milk brand name in Bombay, Milkerji:

The band realized they were doing more than just fooling around when they decided to do an extended gig at the Living Room, the small music space and bar that would become their base when they performed in New York… Alexander and Jones, who are also a couple, were building a home studio and wanted to record something to test it out… The whole album was recorded in less than two days and released on their imprint label, Milking B. [Link]

Home for Jones means Texas and country:

For Jones, a Texas native with a longtime love for jazz, playing with the band helped her realize her own roots, back to the days when her grandmother would play the old-time country songs. [Link]

But one could also imagine an alternate universe where home meant releasing an album of rockin’ Bengali folk music

Since nobody’s said it yet, I’ll give the obvious answer to Jones’ signature plaint:

Q: ‘I feel as empty as a drum / Don’t know why I didn’t come’
A: Little Willies

Indeed, Jones is no prude.

Related posts: Norah and Dolly’s double-E’s, Norahhh!: Jones’ big fat Greek wedding

The down side - Your taxes are due on April 15th.

John Abraham wants you to come to the L.A. Sepia Mutiny Meetup.

The up side - You get to drown your tax sorrows with fellow mutineers at the first ever Los Angeles Sepia Mutiny Meetup!

How excited are we?!?

Date: April 15, 2006 THIS Saturday

Time: 5:30 pm

NEW Place: Tribal Café, 1651 W. Temple St., #A, LOS ANGELES

The SM Meetup Makin’ Machine has been working over time to make sure this Meetup is one not to be forgotten. We will have appearances by yours truly, Abhi, Payal, prateek(?), Ami +2, Rahul, Janani, Biggie Mac, Deepa +1…(anyone I’m missing?)

To answer Biggie Mac, I’ll be the one with the metal stud in my chin, but I’m pretty sure a mob of mutineers at Tribal will be hard to miss.

In an attempt to entice you further to come out for this not to be missed event, celebrity SM Blogger Abhi has offered to give every mutineer that walks through the door a private lesson on the secret Sepia Mutiny handshake which is known only by those who have entered the ND bunkers! How can you not come to now?

To further entice you, there’s a picture of John Abraham. So please come!

A new Indian proposal would reserve half the seats of India’s city on a hill, the exalted halls of IIT, for historically oppressed castes.

Would you riot for Samuel L. Jackson, foo’?

But it’s not just India. The NYT reports that not only is the misuse of quotas politically appealing in America, it’s so appealing that white students are using DNA tests turning up two to three percent black or Native American ancestry to claim minority status in college admissions. It’s a microcosm of the American national character, both high tech and shameless

Prospective employees with white skin are using the tests to apply as minority candidates, while some with black skin are citing their European ancestry in claiming inheritance rights… Americans of every shade are staking a DNA claim to Indian scholarships, health services and casino money… “It’s about access to money and power…”

“If someone appears to be white and then finds out they are not, they haven’t experienced the kinds of things that affirmative action is supposed to remedy…” Ashley Klett’s younger sister marked the “Asian” box on her college applications this year, after the elder Ms. Klett, 20, took a DNA test that said she was 2 percent East Asian and 98 percent European… she did get into the college of her choice. “And they gave her a scholarship…” [Link]

A news story out late Wednesday combines themes from two of the posts that have gotten a flurry of comments this week: the immigration debate and South Asians near Vancouver. Canadian authorities and the FBI and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Seattle, made a joint announcement that they are indicting 14 U.S. and Canadian men for running a human trafficing ring which tried to smuggle South Asian nationals into the U.S.:

U.S. and Canadian authorities announced Wednesday that they have broken up a human smuggling ring suspected of illegally shepherding dozens of Indian and Pakistani nationals into Washington state from British Columbia.

To date, a federal grand jury in Seattle has indicted 14 U.S. and Canadian men for their roles in the alleged scheme. Twelve had been arrested as of Wednesday.

Leigh Winchell, special agent in charge of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Seattle, said investigators on both sides of the border have worked closely for more than a year, apprehending roughly 50 people who had paid as much as $35,000 apiece to be smuggled into the United States. They were given fake U.S. Passports and were expected to fan out across the United States… [Link]

I can bet you that the members of Congress who advocate tougher border security only (without addressing the other issues) are going to have a field day with this. Too bad it is on the less politically convenient border. It becomes harder to advocate building a 700 mile wall on the border with Mexico under the guise of protecting against terrorism, when the foreign nationals you are more worried about (Pakistanis in this case) are caught attempting to come in through Canada (where they have a larger support network). The CBS article linked above has a list of the indicted. They include a few “kids” from Surrey. The BBC has a few more details:

Canadian police described South Asian citizens being flown into Toronto on false passports and then transported to Vancouver where they were hidden in suburban homes.

Then, the police say, the ring chose deserted locations along the border and shuttled the illegal migrants into the US.

Court documents say people paid the smugglers between $20,000 - $35,000 for each for the trip. [Link]

CNN was careful to note the following:

Authorities have found no connection to terrorism, but they said the arrests raise concerns about the vulnerability of the U.S.-Canadian border. [Link]

The Onion does it again…

Air India Now Offers Business Caste Seating

April 12, 2006 | Issue 42•15

MUMBAI—Air India, the subcontinent’s largest airline, announced it will offer upgraded Business Caste seating on all flights starting in July. “More legroom, wider seats—and no need to associate with the manual laborers,” a spokesman for the airline said Tuesday. “Our business travelers must have lived good past lives to deserve this. (link)

Something makes me believe that the fine folks over at The Onion may have actually flown an Air India flight while researching this story.

In the realm of health policy, the low birth weight of babies is used as a primary measure in infant health as well as welfare in economic research.

Low birthweight affects about one in every 13 babies born each year in the United States. It is a factor in 65 percent of infant deaths. [link]

[R]esearch has found that [low birth weight] infants tend to have lower educational attainment, poorer self-reported health status, and reduced employment and earnings as adults, relative to their normal weight counterparts…[B]irth weight has been used to evaluate the effectiveness of social policy. Research on the benefits of largescale social programs—including welfare and health insurance for the poor—typically use birth weight as the primary indicator of infant welfare. [link]

I would like to point out at this moment that I was a healthy 9 pound baby when I was born, well above low birth weight levels, thank you very much. Unfortunately when the time comes for me to have a baby, as a ‘U.S.-born Asian Indian woman’, I run a high risk of having a low birth weight infant, according to recent research coming out of Stanford.

U.S.-born Asian-Indian women are more likely than their Mexican-American peers to deliver low birth weight infants, despite having fewer risk factors, say researchers at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital and Stanford’s School of Medicine. The finding confirms previous research that showed a similar pattern in more recent immigrants, and suggests that physicians should consider their patients’ ethnic backgrounds when planning their care…They found that Asian-Indian women were more than twice as likely to have low birth weight infants as were white women. These infants weigh 2,500 grams (about 5.5 pounds) or less at birth, either because they grew poorly in the womb or were born prematurely.[link]

These results are important in the realm of South Asian American health policy and are significant, at least should be significant, as to how prenatal care for desi women are implemented. As a desi woman, it is important to be informed of this issue and as a policy maker, it has inherent long term effect in our community.

“You might ask, ‘What’s so bad about being small?’” said Madan, who points out that the growth curves used for this and other similar studies are based on white infants. “Is this just normal for Asian Indians? But we’re concerned because we know that abnormally small babies run a higher risk of fetal distress and often require more intensive medical care and longer hospital stays after birth.”

In addition, unusually small babies are known to be at higher risk for a variety of medical problems in adulthood, including diabetes, hypertension and an increased risk of heart disease - conditions that some studies have reported to be higher in Asian Indians. [link]

Yesterday Taz brought you an account of desis representing at the immigration protests here on the West Coast. SM tipster “Mann” let’s us know about some desi representation on the East Coast in the form of some “rebel music.” The band Outernational was playing a protest in NYC. Sonny Suchdev (pictured right) plays the trumpet, vocals, dhol, and bongos for Outernational. I get the impression that conservative blogger Michelle Malkin wasn’t feelin’ the t-shirt that Sonny wore to the protest. According to her sources they “…provided music, including a song dedicated to the Muslims who rioted in France last year called ‘Riviera Uproar’.” Here is a clip which appears to be recorded from Monday’s concert. Alternet.org has a profile of the band who sat down to be interviewed by Naeem Mohaiemen in March:

Suchdev wearing a shirt on Monday that reads: “America is scary”

I’ve been following the band Outernational — with their fearless melange of punk, rap, ska, bhangra and afrobeat — since 2003. While still not a household name, the group began to make waves at 2004’s Republican National Convention protests in New York. That’s where they played (at the “Axis of Justice” concert organized by Tom Morello, formerly of Rage Against the Machine) to a large crowd of pissed-off activists, many of them Critical Mass bike riders who had just watched the NYPD target and arrest scores of their own (the Bloomberg administration claimed that “anarchists” had infiltrated the group bike ride). The repercussions of that day’s mass arrests and police mistreatment continue to reverberate in Outernational’s NYC home base.

Even before Outernational’s breakout performance at the RNC protests, they had fans — like me — regularly attending their shows for a political floor-stomping fix. In 2000, as the New York Times pondered the possible death of “protest music”, older anti-establishment voices like Consolidated, Public Enemy, Fugazi, and Negativland were dimming, and fans needed something new. Into the gap stepped Outernational, which came together in late 2003 with a heady mix of radical politics and furious beats. [Link]

Sonny describes how he got started with the band:

I had been an activist since I was a teenager and had been playing the trumpet since I was nine, but I had never found the right group of people to combine music and politics in a band. One day that fall, I was at dinner with some friends after a meeting (about post-9/11 detentions of immigrants), and Jesse [the bassist] was also there. He commented on the Skatalites T-shirt I was wearing, and we of course started talking about music. He told me about his friend Miles [vocals, lyrics] and how they were getting together and jamming with different people in the basement. I asked him what kind of music they were into, and he replied, “We’re on an outernationalist rebel music tip.” I had a good feeling about this. [Link]

Did anyone see them at the protest on Monday? The band’s website has both music and video clips you can check out, as does their MySpace page.

Director Paul Mayeda Berges was quoted in DNA today about his new movie The Mistress of Spices:

The other key element was to… give each spice its own Indian instrument so you could know when they were calling out to Tilo. The chillies warn her with a tabla. Chandan, kala jeera, tulsi, hing and cinnamon each have their own sounds.

I’ll bet that what the spices are telling Tilo is, ‘Stop exoticizing us, wench!’ Spice-tabla-Chocolat-sex: Tilo Does Oakland

Related posts: Juicier matters, Coffee cant, We’ve got a live one!, Sakina’s Restaurant, Anatomy of a genre, M-m-me so hungry, Buzzword bingo

With apologies to The Namesake

2006

On a wet August monsoon evening two weeks before her due date, Jennifer Ninnington stands in the kitchen of a Pali Hill apartment, combining Bournvita and Horlicks and crumbled chocolate in a bowl. She adds sugar, flour, egg whites, wishing there were yeast to pour into the mix. Jennifer has been consuming this concoction throughout her pregnancy, a humble approximation of the brownies sold for two bucks in New York cafés and at large train stations throughout America, spilling from saran wrap. She wipes sweat from her face with the free end of her denim shirt. Her swollen feet ache against speckled white marble. She reaches for another chocolate bar, frowning again as she pulls at its crisp gold wrapper. A curious warmth floods her abdomen, followed by a tightening so severe she doubles over, gasping without sound, dropping the chocolate bar with a thud on the floor.

She calls out to her husband, Andy, an MBA candidate at IIM-Bombay, who is studying in the bedroom. He leans over a card table; the edge of their bed, a queen mattress under a pastel blue pinstriped twill spread, serves as his chair.

A recent poll in Vancouver suggests that many residents blame South Asians in general and Indo-Canadians specifically for the violence and crime in their city:

According to the Vancouver Sun, Nearly two-thirds of respondents to an Ipsos Reid poll believe some ethnic groups are more responsible for crime than others, and they put Indo-Canadian and Asians at the top of their lists.

Of those in the poll who held ethnic groups most responsible, 56 per cent specifically identified “Indian/East Indian” and 45 per cent listed “Asian/Oriental,” the newspaper reported March 16.

By comparison, five per cent of the same group singled out “Caucasian/white” and only one per cent were worried about “Afro-American/Black,” “Middle Eastern/Arabs/Muslims” and “Italians.”

An Ipsos Reid spokesman said people were allowed to give more than one racial group in their answers, and all the responses were gathered into groups that best reflected the responses. [Link]

The reality, as you will see below, is different from perceptions, but in issues such as crime it rarely matters. Indo-Canadians may cite this poll as evidence that they are the victims of a racist Canadian society. Playing the victim will of course help to delay the need to change their community from within and will leave many parents in their state of denial. On the other side you may see an increase in hate crimes against Indo-Canadians.

…in an interview, Vancouver Police Insp. Kash Heed, commanding officer of the department’s district 3 — southeast Vancouver — said actual statistics show the reverse of the poll findings.

“In the Lower Mainland, the majority of crimes are committed by Caucasians,” he said.

“That’s a true figure, it’s a reliable and valid figure based simply on arrest statistics.”

He said public perceptions are swayed by media coverage of criminal events, including the Air India bombing, which involve members of South Asian and Sikh communities. [Link]

Regardless of the accurate statistics, nobody can deny that many Indo-Canadian youths are out of control. Stories like the following seem to have become all too common in Canadian media and are disturbing even given the media bias:

Everyone was having a good time until the fight began and someone started shooting. When a 29-year-old Surrey man exchanged insults with four young Indo-Canadian men at Garry T’s pub at 72 Avenue and Scott Road, the confrontation escalated and one of the Indo-Canadians produced a handgun and started shooting, inflicting multiple wounds - one of them fatal. The Dec. 8, 2005 incident is just one of many in Surrey and other Lower Mainland communities where a gunfight has erupted in a public place, with bullets being sprayed indiscriminately with no concern for innocent bystanders.

According to police, the number of shooting incidents nearly doubled last year, fuelled by a “bad boy” mentality that sees young men with no criminal past packing handguns to bolster a tough-guy image.

As a result, disputes that would have ended in a fistfight or an exchange of insults are turning into potentially fatal encounters… Everyone was having a good time until the fight began and someone started shooting. [Link]

My ears are still ringing from last night’s Los Angeles rally on immigration… Ghetto birds hovered over head as I walked through the barren streets of Chinatown (barren that is, except for the motorcycle cops that lined the perimeter) to head to where the rally was taking place. Two things struck me as I entered the mass of people listening to the speakers at Olvera Street; the first is the overwhelming amount of red, white and blue flags I saw being waved. There was a Mexican flag here and there, but overwhelmingly it was brown fists holding American flags. The second was the air of festivity- the ladies were selling bacon wrapped death dogs by the rally route, the cotton candy man was walking around, and everyone was whooping and hollering. It was a celebration of the diversity that is America.

South Asian Representin’

As I stood to the side, I saw every kind of ethnicity represented; Mexicans, Koreans, Filipinos. And then, I saw them. A group of the other brown immigrants, our brown immigrants marching down the street. South Asian Network, the premier organization serving the South Asian community of Southern California were the main organizers of this contingent of desis. On Sunday, they had organized a town hall meeting on the issue of immigration in ‘Little India’. About 300 people showed up with a diverse representation of age, class, nationalities, and races. The forum was broadcasted on a live feed on KPFK and everyone there was given a chance to speak on why this issue is important to them, leading to a dynamic far-ranging discussion. Last night at the Los Angeles rally, SAN was there marching the streets with a representation of South Asians Americans.

There’s always a thrill of excitement when marching in any rally, but there was the additional spark of walking with a group of people chanting in Bangla, Hindi, Urdu and Tamil in a sea of “Si se puede!” At one point, the two uncle-aged taxi workers started dancing around in circles in front of the Mexican-American teens drumming. No doubt it was great to walk in solidarity with every other immigrant out there, but to be able to chant “Inqilab Zindabad” finally made it feel like mine.

The immigrant issue is a South Asian issue, despite, as Abhi pointed out in the earlier post, the lack of framing in the media. We are after all, if not immigrants ourselves, the son or daughter of immigrants.

”All of what is happening around immigration reform in the country is not a Latino-originated movement at all,” said Deepa Iyer, executive director of the South Asian American Leaders of Tomorrow, based in Silver Spring, Md. ”There are also Asian and African groups working together. From where I stand, I feel that our community is greatly invested in the issue.” [link]

Every 6-8 months or so, I find myself in a certain, very frustrating conversation template with a random brown dude somewhere. The most recent was last Sunday night -

Him: “I can’t believe you think Social Security privitization is good? So how do you feel about the Iraq war?” (I forget exactly how the tide turned to politics but it was rather abrupt…)

Me: “Look, I don’t want to get into this conversation, we’re out, having drinks, and it’s not necessary” (FWIW, you can gleam some of my position here)

“No, we are going to have this conversation. I’m guessing that your position here is just not very bright”

“I resent you calling me stupid… I’m willing to blame it on the wine and drop this whole thing right here”

“I can’t believe that you, as a brown dude support this”

“I don’t see what being brown has to do with this”

“Dude, you’re brown. Grow up. How old are you? Do you want to be white or something?”

“No. Clearly I’m out tonight with a desi crew and no one’s forcing me to be here.”

It goes downhill from there but rest assured gentle readers that I was very restrained and calmly pointed out to my interlocutor how insulting he was being towards me while he stormed up and had to grab a cigarette. As they say, in San Francisco, there’s still one last, openly persecuted minority…

Now, in an earlier, heavily commented thread, Ennis mused that it’s the height of hypocrisy for ABCD’s to get riled up when white folk embrace their culture — afterall what should race have to do with it? The white dude / gal who partakes the unbridled fun that is Bhangra makes “us” stronger. Heck, it even provides a 3rd party validation of sorts that, in this grand world of cultural exchange, we’ve created something of value.

I hope we can accept the reverse when some desi dudes embrace Locke & Friedman a bit more than Hugo Chavez & Arundhati Roy.

Every time someone claims that there are no communists left in China, or that the Chinese economy will surpass India’s in the long term, I point out the latest example of China micro-managing its most entrepreneurial sectors. (In contrast, India tends to overregulate old sectors and jumps into new ones, which government babus comprehend dimly, only when the moral police perceive political advantage.)

The Chinese government has now inserted itself into multiplayer game design. Gamers who spend more than three hours online will be stripped of points. Gamers who spend more than five hours online will be kicked off entirely:

The government in Beijing is reported to be introducing the controls to deter people from playing for longer than three consecutive hours… The new system will impose penalties on players who spend more than three hours playing a game by reducing the abilities of their characters. Gamers who spend more than five hours will have the abilities of their in-game character severely limited. Players will be forced to take a five-hour break before they can return to a game. [Link]

… there’s the [South Korean] couple whose infant expired as they played games in an Internet cafe; there is the [South Korean] death that occurred from exhaustion; and there are even murders that have resulted from feuds begun online… [Link]

Even the U.S. may succumb, though more to tax than to nag:

In the near future, the IRS could require game developers to keep records of all the transactions that take place in virtual economies and tax players on their gains before any game currency is converted into dollars. [Link]

I actually see the wisdom in this. Maybe they can implement a one-hour cutoff on bad first dates, a two-hour cutoff on crappy TV, and a six-month term limit on despotic nanny regimes.

Personally I spend too much time in front of my PC. I look forward to the day when they send my ass a parking ticket. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’d have to park it on alternate sides of the apartment for seat-sweeping.

“Hell-o!” she trills, happily.

“Ma! What! I’m busy watching ‘Moses’!”

(laughter)

“Sure you are. Listen, I need to ask you something.”

“You’re stopping me from being more Christian! Bad mummy!”

“Oh, please kochu. The church will collapse when you next walk in. Anyway, are you still in touch with your cousin Susan I…….?”

“Yeah, mos def. Why?”

“Her father is trying to reach me at home…”

“We’ve had the same phone number for 22 years—”

“Edi blonde, would you be quiet if you’re not going to think before talking?”

“Moses! I’m missing Moses! It’s a miniseries and you’re interrupting part one, yo.”

On Bombay’s Bandra seashore:

Autorickshaw driver slumbers by the Bandstand wall, which is covered in Gaudí-like cracked ceramic

No Romancing, Sitting in Obscene Postures or Kite Flying — well, there go my Bombay plans

I was in Delhi last year when the Nepalese government decided to shut their doors to the outside world. No internet, no phone calls, no interaction with the outside world until they got the new government up and ready. It was an odd experience to be in a neighboring country and see things play out. Seems like things haven’t played out too well as people stormed the streets this past week.

Maoist Rebels in Nepal

Pro-democracy campaigners in Nepal vowed to defy curfews and launch a sixth day of mass protests on Tuesday against the king’s absolute rule as the monarch came under global pressure to end his crackdown. The street campaign is the most intense since King Gyanendra sacked the government and grabbed political power 14 months ago and some analysts say it is only a matter of time before he runs out of options…So far three people have been killed and more than 300 wounded in clashes as government forces opened fire on demonstrators, used rubber bullets and tear gas and beat them with batons. [link]

It’s not just curfews and storming the streets - freedom of speech has been greatly restricted…

Troops also beat up four Nepali journalists as they reported on the troubles on Monday, one local TV channel showed. The parties said that about 1,500 protesters had been detained.

Hmm. What do people do when they have something they want to say, and no one is letting them? You guessed it, they have a blog. United We Blog! for a Democratic Nepal has been blogging from the streets with some pretty intense words of the play by play of rioting activities.

More protesters gathered today than yesterday. Protesters blocked the entrance to the city that prevented them from entering Nayabazar. A command of Armed Police Force requested the demonstrators to backtrack to which they didn’t agree. Both parties didn’t move from their stance. One of the protesters, Prof. Krishna Khanal remarked that people’s participation in agitation would weaken the royal regime. Mani Kafle, a pro-democracy poet was reciting the verses. The mass looked enthusiastic.[link]

Considering the climate in Nepal, and the expected fear that the Nepalese journalist must be living in, I find this blog to be courageous. One can only imagine what kind of risk the bloggers are taking by posting these very detailed and frank posts up. Dinesh Wagle, one of the bloggers for this site, will be speaking at UCLA on Wednesday April 12th at 3pm.

Wagle will discuss the dangers and difficulties of being a reporter in a nation where journalists continue to face threats from Maoist insurgents as well as their own government. He will talk about how blogging has provided him and his colleagues a medium in which to tell Nepal’s stories to the world.[link]

If in the Los Angeles area, I would highly encourage you to stop by for what I expect to be an interesting talk. The riots in Nepal were to be called off on Sunday, but the latest word off the wire says they will continue indefinitely. Their blog will be a good resource to what is really going on within the borders of Nepal. Only time will tell if the ‘Democracy Fighters’ will be able to truly influence the King into stepping down, but with this level of rioting and rising global pressure on Nepal, I have a feeling that the time will be soon.

Gurminder Thind’s story is similar to that of the 6’6” 295 lbs Nuvraj Singh Bassi who played for the Oregon ducks from 2002-2004(?). Like Thind, Bassi is a large Sikh from Canada, which is not known for producing football players. Nuvraj played for a Vancouver area high school, and was apparently decent:

Once a mighty duck

Proved to be an overpowering force on both sides of the ball for the Huskies, starting as a tight end and defensive end during the 1999 and 2000 campaigns while breaking into the starting rotation as a defender his sophomore season. The team captain earned all-Western Conference honors at both positions while acquiring defensive all-British Columbia Province acclaim. Hauled in four touchdowns for a program which ran the ball better than 60 percent of the time, finishing senior season with a 9-2 record and a loss in the playoff semifinals. [Link]

However, he struggled to find his place in college football and it doesn’t seem like he got to play much after his first two years:

The search to determine a position which is most compatible with his demeanor and physical skills has been one of his biggest obstacles to developing at the next level as the former offensive lineman returned to the defensive line for the start of the 2002 season. Gained valuable playing experience this past spring while injuries and rehab kept more experienced hands on the sidelines. Will now try to transfer those repetitions into a more prolific role as a junior. Began his tenure as a defensive tackle before being shifted across the line of scrimmage two years ago. Recorded two of his three Spring Game tackles unassisted. Offseason workouts will go a long ways towards determining his future fate. [Link]

I remember him not because of his football prowess, but because he was a keshdhari football player (unlike Thind) which led to treatment like this at the Sun Bowl:A comedian at a Sun Bowl event yelled that he had “found Osama”

During his routine, the comedian, Freddy Soto, remarked that the University of Oregon football team is diverse. Mr. Soto then stated said, “Where’s that guy?” as he made a circle around your head to indicate that the person to whom who he was referring wears a turban. When Nuvraj Singh raised his hand, Mr. Soto yelled that he had found “Osama Bin Laden.” [Link]

There are good reasons why some people didn’t find that joke funny.

After college, in 2005, he was drafted in the fifth round by the BC Lions. He seems to have been cut after a season, however, because he’s not listed on their roster now. Does anybody out there know what happened and what he’s up to these days?

p.s. the Lions do have Fiji born desi Bobby Singh playing for them…

Related posts: The Thind Decision

For weeks now I’ve been wanting to write a post about the massive rallies taking place around the country against specific proposals within the larger immigration reform debate. The protestors, the vast majority of whom have been Mexican-American and Mexican, want to make sure that the outcome of immigration reform does not resemble the bill that has currently passed the House of Representatives. Here are some of its most controversial provisions:

• Requires up to 700 miles (1100 km) of fence along the US-Mexican border at points with the highest number of immigrant deaths.
• All illegals before deported must pay a fine of $3,000 if they agree to leave voluntarily but do not adhere to the terms of their agreement. The grace period for voluntary departure is shortened to 60 days.
• All children born to illegal immigrants in the United States will become wards of the state.
• Housing of illegals will be considered a felony and subject to no less than 3 years in prison.
• Increases penalties for employing illegal aliens to $7,500 for first time offenses, $15,000 for second offenses, and $40,000 for all subsequent offenses.

Where do members of our larger community, South Asian Americans, stand on this issue? The fact that only a few groups representing South Asian American perspectives are voicing an opinion in this debate is indicative of the fact that there are cracks in our community. These divisions are becoming more apparent as we continue to integrate into the mainstream. An issue like immigration reform serves not only to reveal differences in opinion within our community but also provides an opportunity to learn from and to engage those in the community who have a life experience that differs from your own.

SAALT has been leading the charge against some of the proposed reforms (in solidarity with groups like La Raza and most recently the NAACP) while USINPAC has been completely silent on the issue (probably too busy worrying about India’s well-being and having their pictures taken with important people). Our larger community is likely to be divided on this issue along lines of citizenship status and socio-economic background. For example, an economically well-off South Asian American, born in the U.S., who’s parents came here legally, is much less likely to get involved then a South Asian American born here who’s parents arrived illegally, or one that is currently working here illegally. I believe however that this is a debate we should all voice an opinion on regardless of our status.

Arguably the single most controversial provision in the House Bill is the one that makes it a felony to even provide aid or shelter to an illegal immigrant [aside: Polls show that your opinion on this issue depends on whether the person conducting a poll uses the term illegal alien, illegal immigrant, or undocumented worker]. For weeks now I have been combing the news in search of accounts of South Asians at these massive rallies. I haven’t had much luck. Over the weekend I was at a bachelor party in Las Vegas. During periods of “calm” we discussed immigration reform quite a bit. One of my buddies has worked to represent the interests of South Asian taxi drivers in NYC. I asked him why we haven’t heard more from this group. He wasn’t sure. A significant number of South Asian cabbies are illegal/undocumented and their participation/visible involvement in these rallies would surely add to the pressure on Congress. I would bet that there are a significant number of undocumented South Asians working in the hotel industry and at gas stations as well.

A new desi college football player is now at large. 6’4”, ~290 lb. Gurminder Thind starts as left tackle on the University of South Carolina roster (thanks, OldWarHouse). But based on the snarl, Thind really should moonlight as a professional wrestler.

I’m very happy to report that based on the recently concluded Spring practice sessions in Columbia, SC, Gurminder Thind (6’4 290lbs) born in Mississauga, Ontario to practicing Sikh immigrants from India has locked down the starting LT for the University of South Carolina Gamecocks. A desi will be protecting the blindside of Steve Spurrier’s signal callers in ‘06. [Link]

Gurminder Thind is not like most major college football players in the United States. For one thing, he’s from Canada, where football is not held in the same high regard as it is in the American South. Second, he did not start playing football until he was 16 years old. A former USC assistant coach noticed him there and the rest is history. [Link]

Given the size of these Canadian imports, its hard to imagine anyone taking the joke too far. Pavlovic, who is 6-foot-4 and 241 pounds, is the runt compared to Thind (6-4, 286) and Sorensen (6-7, 309).

As Pavlovic explained when asked why his countrymen did not take up the Canadian religion/pastime of ice hockey: “With how big they are, its pretty hard for them to skate.”

But the three seem to be taking to football fine. With spring practice ending with today’s Garnet and Black game, Pavlovic and Thind have strong grips on starting positions, and Sorensen is working with the second team. [Link]

Last July I blogged with admiration about the exploits of Gulab the Shepherd. Gulab helped rescue a U.S. Navy SEAL from certain death. Then, his whole village stood up against Al Qaeda and Taliban fighters because of a code of honor that could not allow them to let harm come to a guest. As we could have guessed at the time, no good deed goes unpunished. Newsweek updates us on the fate of the brave shepherd:

Even with all the troubles that followed, Mohammad Gulab says he’s still glad he saved the U.S. Navy SEAL. “I have no regrets for what I did,” the 32-year-old Afghan told NEWSWEEK recently. “I’m proud of my action.” Nevertheless, he says, “I never imagined I would pay such a price…”

Gulab has been paying for his kindness ever since. Al Qaeda and the Taliban dominate much of Kunar’s mountainous backcountry. Death threats soon forced Gulab to abandon his home, his possessions and even his pickup truck. Insurgents burned down his little lumber business in Sabray. He and his wife and their six children moved in with his brother-in-law near the U.S. base at Asadabad, the provincial capital. Three months ago Gulab and his brother-in-law tried going back to Sabray. Insurgents ambushed them. Gulab was unhurt, but his brother-in-law was shot in the chest and nearly died. The threats persist. “You are close to death,” a letter warned recently. “You are counting your last days and nights…” [Link]

It is fairly common knowledge that guerrilla wars such as those in Afghanistan and Iraq cannot be won unless the hearts and minds of the people are won first. A substantial reward or even an offer of asylum to Gulab would be a small price to pay for the hearts and minds of the 300+ villagers that protected the SEAL. Al Qaeda certainly knows how to spread around a little money to win the hearts and minds that we let slip away:

Gulab’s story says a lot about how Al Qaeda and its allies have been able to defy four and a half years of U.S. efforts to clear them out of Afghanistan. The key is the power they wield over villagers in strongholds like Kunar, on the Pakistani frontier. For years the province has been high on the list of suspected Osama bin Laden hideouts. “If the enemy didn’t have local support, they couldn’t survive here,” says the deputy governor, Noor Mohammed. Since the Soviet occupation in the 1980s, jihadists have been amassing influence through scare tactics, tribal loyalties and cash. A little money can purchase big leverage in an area where entire villages sometimes subsist on a few thousand dollars a year, and many foreign jihadists have insinuated themselves into the Pashtun social fabric by marrying into local families.

The SEAL who Gulab saved hasn’t been able to break his silence (active SEALS don’t talk) but he seems upset that Gulab didn’t receive more of a reward from the U.S. government. Judging by the type of attorney he has I wouldn’t be surprised if both him and Gulab end up as characters in a Hollywood movie (like this one) soon:

The SEAL, who remains on active duty, declined to comment via his attorney, Alan Schwartz, an “entertainment lawyer” in Santa Monica, Calif. Gulab only shakes his head: “Why would anyone else want to cooperate with the U.S. now?”

I had recently gone to a Bengali family party, and was sitting on the floor talking to an older auntie type, when I noticed she had something gold in her nose. I asked her what it was, and with a little pull here and there, she pulled out a punk-rock style gold septum ring. A little shocking, since as a desi girl I was more familiar with the more traditional nose piercings, but not the septum style. She continued by telling the story of how she got it as a girl, and and how the piercing was supposed to bring shanti on her husband- basically (what I garnered from my poor Bengali) anytime she exhaled, she would be bringing good luck on her mate.

Nose piercing was first recorded in the Middle East approximately 4,000 years ago… Nose piercing was bought to India in the 16th Century from the Middle East by the Moghul emperors. In India a stud (Phul) or a ring (Nath) is usually worn in the left nostril, It is sometimes joined to the ear by a chain, and in some places both nostrils are pierced. The left side is the most common to be pierced in India, because that is the spot associated in Ayuvedra (Indian medicine) with the female reproductive organs, the piercing is supposed to make childbirth easier and lessen period pain.[link]

The septum piercing that this auntie had is the second most popular piercing next to ear-piercings and even more popular than the traditional nose piercings.

The piercing is also popular in India, Nepal, and Tibet, a pendant “Bulak” is worn, and some examples are so large as to prevent the person being able to eat, the jewellery has to be lifted up during meals. In Rajasthan in Himachal Pradesh these Bulak are particularly elaborate, and extremely large.[link]

See mom, body piercings are a part of our culture! That line of reasoning didn’t quite fly as well when I presented it to her after I got mine. I personally opted for the chin-piercing better known as the labret back when I turned 22.

A BJP leader is about to go on yet another campaign swing disguised as a yatra (Hindu pilgrimage). The tour features a rather pimped-out motorhome which the political party calls a rath (chariot). The party doesn’t even attempt to hide its appropriation of religion, but at least there’s a Batmobile factor:

The high tech rath has all sorts of conveniences for the leader of [the] opposition in Parliament, including a restroom, a toilet, wardrobe, satellite TV with LCD screen, wash basin, hydraulic lift for two persons [for campaigning from the roof], sofa set, bed, 10 floodlights, six speakers and a public address system…

… the vehicle [is] not bullet proof… [Link]

It has a hydraulic lift — imagine a politician rising up from the floor like some enraged gopher, theatrical deus ex machina or Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. Dramatic.

The rath can’t possibly look any odder than the Popemobile:

The popemobile is an informal name for the specially designed vehicle used by the pope during public appearances… Several models have been used…

… yet another is a modified Mercedes-Benz with a small windowed “room” in the back where the Pope stands. Since the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II in 1981, the popemobile was fitted with bulletproof glass on four sides…

… it had bulletproof windows, bombproof parts and it was inspected by the Swiss guards… Past popemobiles were adapted Mercedes-Benz G-Class off-road vehicles, and current models are actually based on the ML-series of off-road vehicles sold in the United States. [Link]

This week, the UK implemented two anti-globalization regulations so anti-Indian in effect that they could’ve been written by the BNP.

First, they’re making Indian companies pay off British workers who lose their jobs to overseas outsourcing — but not to those who lose jobs to Ireland or to automation. Who’s really going to end up paying for this incredible, extrajudicial bit of socialism: British consumers.

New rules on Britain’s existing Transfer of Undertakings (Protection of Employment) regulation or TUPE, will now slap overseas contractors with legal and financial responsibility for the British workers who lost their livelihood when jobs were transferred overseas…

Indian contractors accepting outsourcing contracts from British companies would now be forced to negotiate a proper indemnity against legal challenges for redundancy payments.

… the Indian firm would have to build into its cost structure the risk of being sued in a British court by redundant employees or unions.

The new rules on Britain’s Transfer of Undertakings (Protection of Employment) regulation (TUPE) would result in Indian outsourcing contracts becoming more expensive, thus hacking at India’s definite cost-advantage. [Link]

Hey, I just read a good blog post from London which competes with us for reader attention. Who do I sue for my check?

Second, they’ve banned the National Health Service from training Indian doctors without work permits, unless the NHS proves it couldn’t find a Brit. And the ban is immediate with no phase-in, hosing doctors already in training:

… doctors from outside the EU, including from India, were able to take up NHS jobs under what was called ‘[work] permit free training’ schemes. Their jobs were considered part of training that did not require work permits.

Thousands of Indian doctors were employed under the permit free training scheme and were usually hired for short-term periods of one or two years.

… employers now need to obtain work permits before employing these doctors after making a case to prove that no British or EU doctor can perform the same job. This rule effectively rules out any chance of employment for non-EU doctors. [Link]

In the new coolie economy, you can hire ‘em, use ‘em and dump ‘em the same day.

The ACLU just filed sworn informant testimony in the Georgia meth merchant case showing law enforcement targeted Gujarati shopkeepers because they spoke poor English, entrapped them, then selectively prosecuted based on race (thanks, technophobicgeek):

Documents filed by the A.C.L.U. yesterday include a sworn statement from an informant in the sting, saying that federal investigators sent informants only to Indian-owned stores, “because the Indians’ English wasn’t good.” The informant said investigators ignored the informant’s questions about why so many South-Asian-owned stores were visited in the sting.

Other filings said prosecutors had several tips that more than a dozen white-owned stores were selling the same ingredients, but failed to follow up on them. According to a sworn statement from a witness, law enforcement officials tipped off a white store owner about the investigation and recommended ways to avoid scrutiny…

Of 629 convenience stores in the six-county area in the sting, 80 percent are owned or operated by whites, according to the A.C.L.U.’s court filing, but fewer than 1 percent of the stores in the sting are white-owned or operated. The filing said the clerk at the only white-operated store was known widely as a methamphetamine addict whose husband was in prison for making the drug. [Link]

I think we have a new rallying cry:

“Selling Sudafed while South Asian is not a crime,” said Christina Alvarez, an attorney with the ACLU Drug Law Reform Project. “The U.S. Constitution requires police to investigate people based on evidence, not ethnicity…”

By the time Operation Meth Merchant was completed, almost 20 percent of the South-Asian-owned stores in the area were indicted, while only 0.2 percent of stores owned by whites or other ethnic groups were similarly accused. All in all, South-Asian-owned stores were nearly 100 times more likely to be targeted…

“They only sent me to Indian stores…they wanted me to say things like ‘I need it to go cook’ or ‘Hurry up, I’ve got to get home and finish a cook’,” said an undercover informant in a sworn statement attached to the ACLU’s legal papers. “The officers told me that the Indians’ English wasn’t good, and they wouldn’t say a lot so it was important for me to make these kinds of statements…”

“Northwest Georgia is made no safer by police targeting a particular racial group while giving a free pass to those they have good reason to believe are actually making and selling meth,” said Deepali Gokhale, organizer of the Racial Justice Campaign Against Operation Meth Merchant… [Link]

The facts aren’t all on the table yet, but from a distance it smells like Tulia all over again, and both times in the South. I can’t muster much sympathy for people who knowingly supplied tweak traffickers, selective prosecution or no. But if it turns out the cops entrapped shop clerks with poor English proficiency by using inscrutable drug jargon, it would be ethically disgusting.

What also bothers me is that all the first-gen Gujarati shopkeepers I’ve met seem socially conservative and anti-drugs at a visceral level. If I were to play ‘Name the Criminal Mastermind,’ anything drug-related would be pretty far down the list.

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. To promote this important issue Lifetime Channel has descended upon Washington DC for “Stop Violence Against Women Week” going on now (April 3rd-7th) with a list of events worthy of Capitol Hill. This past summer, Lifetime dedicated a week around issues of human trafficking and they are interestingly using their media access to promote issues affecting women. I think this is great. It is rare that a television channel will make that kind of a commitment to their viewers. Violence against women is not just important to Lifetime viewers, but is an important issue in the upcoming midterm election as well:

According to a new “Lifetime Women’s Pulse Poll,” conducted for the network by Roper Poll, when women and men vote in the mid-term elections this fall, expected issues such as homeland security, jobs and the economy and the war in Iraq will be very important, but an issue that receives far less attention — preventing violence against women and girls — will be just as, if not more, important to them.[link]

As we all have read, violence against women can often hit closer to home than can ever be expected. It takes a powerful woman to live through the experience and an even more powerful woman to be able to share their personal story. In addition to the personal experiences, the statistics out there on violence against women are alarming:

• One in three women worldwide will be beaten, raped, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime.[link]
• One in four girls will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18.[link]
• An estimated 1 million women are stalked each year in the US, with about 1/4 of them reporting missing an average of 11 days of work as a result of the stalking.[link]
• Researchers Anita Raj and Jay Silverman discovered that more than 40% of the 160 South Asian women living in Greater Boston they surveyed indicated that they were victims of intimate partner violence, and only 50% of women who experienced intimate partner violence were aware of services available to help. [link]

What is unfortunate to see is the taboo in the South Asian American community when there is violence against our women. But the important thing is, you are not alone. There is a national network of South Asian women’s organizations out there to support our survivors of the trauma of sexual assault.

Sakhi, based in New York City and a partnering organization to the Lifetime campaign, provides language specific culturally sensitive services to South Asian women because..

• Abused immigrant women may hesitate to reach out to police, shelters, courts, and mainstream violence agencies due to barriers of language, financial constraints, and fear of deportation;
• Women that reach out to Sakhi may be abused not only by their husbands, but also by in-laws and other family members; and,
• Survivors may face the cultural stigma and shame of divorce in the community, and be told that it is their “duty” to keep the family and marriage intact, despite abuse. [link]

But New York City isn’t the only place with with access to these South Asian specific organizations, there is a national network of organizations listed here, and for our Canadian sisters here, here, and here. In Chicago, there’s Apn Ghar which has served over 5400 clients since 2000. SAHELI Boston is working on a newly launched Men’s Initative, to bring men into the dialogue. Maitri in the San Jose area has volunteers that speak Bengali, Gujarati, Hindi, Kannada, Kashmiri, Konkani, Malayalam, Marathi, Marwari, Oriya, Punjabi, Sindhi, Sinhalese, Tamil, Telugu, and Urdu. ASHA in the DC area has recently intitated a partnership to find employment for survivors of domestic abuse. There are a lot of resources out there specifically towards our community, and almost all of these organizations have a toll-free hotline, multi-lingual support, assistance to find shelter, and referral to social, legal and mental health services.

The NYT is reporting that Jewish synagogues are enticing new members with yoga. They’re mimicking the recruiting techniques of evangelical megachurches, even though some evangelicals have later disavowed yoga as heathen and tried to Christianize it.

A group of New York-area congregations… refashion their synagogues into religious multiplexes on the Sabbath, featuring programs like “Shabbat yoga” and comedy alongside traditional worship… a… synagogue on the Upper West Side of Manhattan… has organized Sabbath programs around tai chi and nature walks. Others have tried yoga classes and stand-up comedy as a means of Sabbath observance. [Link]

Comedy in a synagogue? What, they’re showing Seinfeld? I say, get your own damn gimmick. You don’t see Hindus serving matzoh ball soup (mmm, matzoh ball soup). You don’t see Muslims serving wine with a wink-wink, ‘It’s sangre, not sangría.’ Red dearth and pour in vain.

And what’s this about Shabbat yoga? Aren’t you supposed to avoid work on Shabbat? I guess that rules out Bikram yoga. Besides, you’re nicking the wrong gimmick. Want to rip a desi religion? A friendly suggestion: serve Sikh-style langar (mmm, langar). Treble attendance, guaranteed ;)

Although Abhi apparently needs a hug, my favorite recruiting technique is the one practiced by a very, very dangerous cult I walk past every morning on the Bandra promenade by the Arabian Sea. It’s called the Laughter Club of Joggers’ Park, and it’s 50 uncles and aunties laughing in unison, ‘Ho-ho, ha-ha-ha,’ like deranged, elderly cheerleaders. Every morning I watch apple-cheeked grannies and patka-clad uncles bending side to side expelling belly laughs. One morning a beggar missing a couple of his toes sat on the ground chortling along with them.

Under the cover of darkness, I have broken free of the reigns of the basement of the North Dakota bunker. I have hijacked the SM Meetup Makin’ Machine and let loose a bee in Abhi’s office, you know, for good measure. I am here to truly serve you, Sepia Mutiny readers. The time has arrived. That’s right mutineers, we are having a Los Angeles Sepia Mutiny Meetup.

You hear that L.A. Mutineers? After months of teasing from Abhi, and drooling over the mutineers meeting up in other cities, we finally get to join the elite! Yay!

Please RSVP in the comments section, to let us know how many people are coming. If you don’t come, and you live within a 50 mile radius of L.A., we will know, and we will find you. Especially since we did choose Noura Café Tribal Cafe because we are optimistic that people will come far and wide and we think they will be accommodating. I cannot divulge the details, but I promise it is THE SM Meetup not to be missed.

So Noura’s Cafe is no longer. Thanks Arun. We are shifting to the hipster part of LA now to Echo Park, and meeting up at the artsy new space of Tribal Café, located in the heart of Filipino town. Where are all the LA bloggers, readers, and lurkers at?

9pm. Café Mishka’s on 2nd street, Davis, CA . 1995.

One week in to the fall quarter of my senior year and I’m already stressed. I want to finish the Poli-sci incomplete which hangs over my head, stealing peace of mind and calm. This requires writing a 15-page paper on feminism, abortion and single-issue voters. I’ve made some progress, but much remains to be done and since Shields Library is either social central or a morgue, I can’t get it done there. So I have come to the newest and brightest spot in the tiny constellation of “third-places” which dot Davis ’ downtown area. Mishka’s is just quiet enough, especially on a Friday night, and it also has excellent food. I order a sandwich, the name of which escapes me over a decade later. It has pesto and roasted red peppers, a detail I will never forget, because of what happens later on that night.

I’m halfway through my dinner and it’s 8:30pm. My cell phone rings and I answer, filled with trepidation. My father’s voice barks profanely over the line, “Where the HELL are you? What kind of life do you think you have? One where you can go as you please, party, take drugs? What have I told you about this world, kunju? It is a dangerous place and if you are not careful, you will end up abducted, raped and murdered somewhere and I will have to identify your body and then I will kill myself and then your sister will be without sibling or father. All because you want to PARTY.”

Sigh.

“Daddy, I’m actually-“

“What? You’re actually WHAT? You’re about to lie to me, I know you better than you know yourself. Save your BS for someone else, edi.”

“I’m not lying, I’m studying. I have a huge paper due-

Via our newsline we see that Thursday’s issue of the journal Nature has a paper out which indicates that dentistry may be one of the world’s oldest professions. The paper, which has an Italian as the lead author, is titled Early Neolithic Tradition of Dentistry (paid subscription required). Now when we are old uncles/aunties we can brag to our children that South Asians invented denistry also.

Proving prehistoric man’s ingenuity and ability to withstand and inflict excruciating pain, researchers have found that dental drilling dates back 9,000 years.

Primitive dentists drilled nearly perfect holes into live but undoubtedly unhappy patients between 5500 B.C. and 7000 B.C., an article in Thursday’s journal Nature reports. Researchers carbon-dated at least nine skulls with 11 drill holes found in a Pakistan graveyard.

That means dentistry is at least 4,000 years older than first thought — and far older than the useful invention of anesthesia.

This was no mere tooth tinkering. The drilled teeth found in the graveyard were hard-to-reach molars. And in at least one instance, the ancient dentist managed to drill a hole in the inside back end of a tooth, boring out toward the front of the mouth. [Link]

My whole life I had looked down on people with multiple cavities because I had never had one. I usually snubbed these “enamelly challenged” because I saw them as being weak and unable to resist candy. I got my just desserts though. Last year I got my first (and I swear it will be my last) cavity. By the time the doctor was done she had pulled two of my innocent teeth just to get to the offending tooth which she then reconstructed with a crown. My wisdom teeth surgery was even worse (warning: NSDL). Apparently they were like upside down. I can’t even begin to imagine how people were able to withstand the pain in the Neolithic.

The site of Mehrgarh in Baluchistan lies along the principal route connecting Afghanistan to the Indus valley. After intermittent occupations by hunter-gatherers, Mehrgarh’s subsistence economy shifted to the cultivation of barley and wheat, cotton domestication and cattle breeding. Diachronic archaeological evidence records an increasingly rich cultural life, with technological sophistication based on diverse raw materials. Excavation of the Neolithic cemetery known as MR3 yielded more than 300 graves created over a 1,500-year time span…

Whatever the purpose, tooth drilling on individuals buried at MR3 continued for about 1,500 years, indicating that dental manipulation was a persistent custom. After 6,500 yr BP, the practice must have ceased, as there is no evidence of tooth drilling from the subsequent MR2 Chalcolithic cemetery, despite the continuation of poor dental health. [Link]

Teeth are the greatest find in any paleontological/archeological expedition. Measuring istope ratios can even tell you what the people ate. I keep two of my old teeth on my desk at home. This is just in case my body is lost during some adventure and someone wants to learn about my lifestyle when I was still alive.

Punk music and the subsequent punk movement is deeply rooted in fighting for the rebel cause and the fight against social injustices. I’m not talking the pop-angst of Blink 182 -type bands that are splayed across MTV, but the bands at the root of the brit-punk rock uprisings in the mid-70s as well as the emergence of the political hardcore punk rock scene in DC in the 80s. The lyrics are intertwined with anti-injustice words such as, “…and now I can’t sleep from years of apathy, all because I read a little Noam Chomsky” (NOFX), or with “…all the power’s in the hands, of people rich enough to buy it,” (The Clash).

I’ve been going to punk shows for the past 10 years, early on as a rebellious punk teen and more recently, clipboards in hand registering youth voters at the show, with non-profit groups like Music for America or SAAVY. Most often though at these punk shows, I was one of a handful of desi kids.

Unfortunately being a desi punk has its consequences…

Harraj Mann, 23, asked a taxi driver to play The Clash’s London Calling through the vehicle’s stereo. But the cabbie rang police after he heard the song which includes the line: “War is declared and battle come down.” A spokeswoman also said that it was not just the music Mr Mann requested, but the “overall impression” he gave that aroused the taxi driver’s suspicion. [link]

The irony is he was listening to The Clash, a brit-punk band of the 1970s known for their anti-racism sentiments as well as Led Zepplin’s “Immigrant Song.” Even more ironic is that it was the taxi-wallah that turned this guy in, though no mention of the ethnicity of said cab driver.

Police said Mr Mann, from Hartlepool, was released without charge after his arrest on board a Bmi plane at Durham Tees Valley Airport. Durham Police said a security check revealed he did not pose a threat.

He told BBC Radio Five Live: “I said to staff you’ve taken me off my flight due to my taste in music, in a more colourful way…I mean where does it stop? What if I was wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt, what if I was wearing odd socks, you know…I mean obviously the political climate these days is like walking on egg shells, but I mean there’s caution and then there’s taking it to the point where it’s absurd and ludicrous.”

Here, here, punk desi youth! “Look at those crazy kids, with their wild hair, and loud music,” is the most oft heard gripe from elder people but additionally, we have to deal with the profiling that comes with being desi as well. It’s a double whammy. Obviously, in light of the london bombings last year, I’m sure things must be harder for the day to day lives of desi youth across the pond. But would a terrorist really play The Clash in a taxi on the way to the airport? Common sense says no. Should I now start having to worry that today I wore a shirt that says, “Major Labels Lie” and was listening to Dead Prez in my stickered car? Well, maybe they have reason to worry just a little bit there… All I gotta say is, stay strong brother, and punk on.

My friend Anji M. tips me off to a possible hate crime on the Baylor campus down in Texas. Many of the news reports seem to highlight (sometimes multiple times in the same article) that the senior was involved with Muslim-Christian dialog on campus.

A Muslim Baylor University senior of South Asian heritage who was active in Muslim-Christian relations was attacked on the school’s campus Saturday night, suffering multiple injuries.

Chief Jim Doak of the Baylor Department of Public Safety confirmed that police were alerted about the attack and that the incident is being investigated, but he refused to release further details. Neither Doak nor a university spokeswoman could immediately say whether the alleged attack will be investigated as a hate crime.

The Baylor DPS web site indicated that the attack occurred near Draper Hall between 8:45 and 9 p.m.

Rabiah Ahmed, a spokeswoman for the Washington, D.C.-based Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), said the victim called them Monday and said a man, thought to be in his 30s, grabbed her hijab, an Islamic head scarf, and threw the woman to the ground. As he did, the attacker allegedly yelled anti-Muslim and ethnic slurs at the woman including “Arabian (expletive)” and “(expletive) Muslims.”

When the woman screamed, her attacker reportedly slapped her and kicked her multiple times in the ribs, according to Ahmed. An emergency room examination found bruises and a dislocated shoulder, Ahmed said.

The victim, who was active in Muslim-Christian relations on the Baylor campus, went to her family home in Oklahoma after the attack. Ahmed said she was told the victim would stay home for about a week. [Link]

Here is another account with additional details. The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) got in touch with the FBI soon after word of the incident surfaced. The FBI agreed to send someone down:

“We have had an FBI representative on campus with us throughout the day today and will continue to work with the agency as this process goes forward,” Doak said.

The Washington-based Council on American-Islamic relations called on the FBI Tuesday to probe the attack on the coed as a hate crime. [Link]

We’ll try to keep readers updated when additional details emerge.

Merchants in Maharashtra have begun a hunger strike to eliminate local taxes. Unlike poor farmers consuming pesticide or distraught students immolating themselves, this involves what seems to be relatively well-off businesspeople lobbying for lower taxes. Whatever happened to the traditional method, buying a politician?

[A Maharashtra trade association] has called for a hunger strike on April three protesting against the levy of octroi… [Link]

Similarly, Sonia Gandhi’s renunciation theater should have her winning re-election shortly:

Sonia Gandhi, the leader of India’s governing coalition, stepped down Thursday as a member of Parliament… a New Delhi-based political analyst… compared Thursday’s announcement to Gandhi’s decision in 2004 to refuse the prime minister’s job, which sent her popularity soaring as many people saw it as a rare act of renunciation in Indian politics. [Link]

Sonia Gandhi and her supporters have shown themselves to be by far the wiliest folks in Indian politics. I don’t believe this “sacrifice” nonsense, but I have to doff my hat at the tactical brilliance of this decision… [Gandhi] is brilliant at impression management and knows the value of a “moral high ground” in as emotional an electorate as [India’s]. [Link]

Maybe it’s because I live in Los Angeles. But I’ll be the first to admit it. I love celebrity gossip. Imagine my surprise when I heard this report on the news this morning.

Mother Teresa. Totally see the resemblance.

Paris Hilton is on the short-list to play beatified nun Mother Teresa in an upcoming bipoic of the late Nobel Peace Prize winner. Film director T. Rajeevnath said his idea to cast the 25-year-old celebutante after a computer-generated image showed a close facial match between “The Simple Life” simpleton and the Albanian-born holy woman. “(Hilton’s) features resemble Mother Teresa’s,” Rajeevnath said. [link]

Waaaaait a second. Didn’t we just play the ‘who’s famous face matches mine’ game using a computer-generated image facial matching website here on Sepia Mutiny only a few months back?

I’ll just let you know that I ended up at a verrry interesting website, which scanned a picture I uploaded before telling me which celebrity in its database I resembled. See whom YOU don’t look like by going to MyHeritage.com y’self. [link]

I mean, Rajeevnath is Indian. Maybe he reads Sepia Mutiny and maybe, just maybe, that is what compelled him to pick Paris Hilton. That, and this:

But it was when the director read an article in which Hilton said she had turned down the chance to pose nude for Playboy maggie that he believed he had found the woman to emulate Mother Teresa’s good works. Shooting in several countries, including West Bengal will begin early next year.

Proceeds from the film will benefit the Missionaries of Charity.

Missionaries. Paris Hilton. Hmm… I wonder how familiar she is with that line of work…

Indian Americans have been trying for a long time to get the U.S. Postal Service to issue a Diwali stamp. The Aussies on the other hand have gone the extra kilometer. They have featured Bollywood star Saif Ali Khan on one of their postage stamps. See for yourself:

Saif Ali Khan who has danced his way to Australian history with his performance in Commonwealth Games. He became the first Indian to feature on a postage stamp published in Australia.

50-cent stamp has Saif among those released on March 27. It shows him on stage in a green kurti with other dancers. Rani Mukherjee and Aishwarya Rai had no such luck who were with Saif from Bollywood. [Link]

I was looking at the photos from the recent Bhangra Blowout [thanks Amardeep] and was struck by the non-desi dancers in the photos. What confuses me is why I’m surprised at all.

Growing up, NYC was a giant thali of different cultural practices. Black kids did Kung Fu and Lion Dances, Chinese Americans breakdanced and rapped. Culture wasn’t “apna,” it was for anybody willing to put the time in to learn. I probably did as much Irish and Israeli folk dancing (yes, I’m a dork) as a kid as I did Punjabi folk dancing. I should be no more surprised to see a non-Punjabi, non-desi, dancing Bhangra than I am surprised to see a non-Latino doing Salsa, or a non-Korean doing Tae Kwan Do.

Still, I’m not used to it, and I think that other desis are even less used to it than I am. We tend to snark a lot about white people doing puja or yoga, criticizing their pronunciation, saying that they don’t somehow grok the soul of the practice. Well guess what - it’s not going to stop there and we ABCDs are hypocrites if we’re affronted. Let’s be honest, many of us sit here and learn the words to Hindi songs phonetically, just like the non-desi next to us. We’re cosmopolitan, not essentialist, in all other aspects of our lives.

We’re just scared that if somebody else can do these things, these things that we associate with our homes, cook our food, speak our languages, worship our God(s), dance our dances, sing our songs, as well as we can or better that we’ll lose our distinctiveness. That’s understandable but dumb.

Yes, I’m better at dancing Bhangra than most non-desis, but that doesn’t mean that I have the rhythms of Punjab in my veins, just a bit more practice than some. At the end of the day, it’s about talent and enthusiasm, not ancestry (and I cringe equally when I see most non-Punjabi desis dancing Bhangra). It just takes a little while to get used to the fact that these things are now … public, and open to all.

Related posts: White girls in Brooklyn appropriate Saraswati

I spent my spring break last week interviewing taxi drivers about their working conditions, at taxi stands all across Los Angeles. It was my first week of conducting this research and we found handfuls of South Asian taxi drivers, far fewer in proportion to the taxi drivers in other metropolitan cities. I did get the chance to talk to a royal looking Sikh man with expansive white beard, who answered our questions predominantly in proverbs. Mostly though from what I saw, L.A. taxi drivers are immigrants from all over the world all working together in a not so forgiving career.

Taxi-Wallah

Luckily, the research we are doing here in L.A. is based on the success of the taxi worker alliances in New York City and the San Fransisco Bay. If you are in the Berkeley area this week, I highly suggest attending this talk (via The Seemamachine).

On April 5th at 7p, join Biju Mathew, an Associate Professor in the College of Business Administration at Rider University in New Jersey. Biju worked as a lead organizer for one of my all-time favorite organizations, New York Taxi Workers’ Alliance. NYTWA… is headed up by the wondrous Bhairavi Desai, whose leadership and commitment have resulted in health and legal services for NY’s taxi drivers, relief from burdensome and inefficient TLC practices, and a true spirit of organized power for the people that make the Big Apple move. Mathew’s book—Taxi! Cabs & Capitalism in New York City—canvasses the struggles drivers have faced within the taxi cab industry. His lecture will address same.

The lecture will be following the photography exhibit opening of “Taxi-Wallahs of Berkeley: Photographs and Narratives by Aditya Dhawan” hosted by the Center for South Asia Studies. You can see his taxi worker photos online and his exhibit will be running through June. Both events will be on the UC Berkeley campus. In the meantime down here in Los Angeles, I will continue to talk to as many taxi drivers as possible.

Two articles out on Monday provide a disturbing glimpse into how some segments of Indian society are “coping” with the ravages of sex selection. The first is from the UK based Independent:

Tripla’s parents sold her for £170 to a man who had come looking for a wife. He took her away with him, hundreds of miles across India, to the villages outside Delhi. It was the last time she would see her home. For six months, she lived with him in the village, although there was never any formal marriage. Then, two weeks ago, her husband, Ajmer Singh, ordered her to sleep with his brother, who could not find a wife. When Tripla refused, he took her into the fields and beheaded her with a sickle.

When Rishi Kant, an Indian human rights campaigner, tracked down Tripla’s parents in the state of Jharkhand and told them the news, her mother broke down in tears. “But what could we do?” she asked him. “We are facing so much poverty we had no choice but to sell her.”

Tripla was a victim of the common practice in India of aborting baby girls because parents only want boys. Although she was born and lived into early adulthood, it was the abortions that caused her death. In the villages of Haryana, just outside Delhi, abortions of baby girls have become so common that the shortage of women is severe. Unable to find wives locally, the men have resorted to buying women from the poorer parts of India. Just 25 miles from the glitzy new shopping malls and apartment complexes of Delhi is a slave market for women. [Link]

Normal laws of supply in demand would have led me to guess that when “enough” girls had been aborted, the ones that survived to birth would eventually become “more valuable” than men. I even imagined a reverse dowery situation as a possibility. Society would finally see the fallacy of its ways when men had nobody to marry. Probably like many who were as naive as me, I never accounted for the fact that a quicker way to deal with the problem was money. Just like there is a black market for kidneys there is growing black market for women.

When the police arrested Tripla’s husband, he could not provide a marriage certificate. Generally, there is no real marriage. The women are sexual “brides” only. Sometimes, brothers who cannot afford more share one woman between them. Often, men who think they have got a good deal on a particularly beautiful bride will sell her at a profit. [Link]

You know me by now good readers. I am normally not one to do a fluff post here on SM but I feel I must draw your attention to someting sent to me. All bloggers use some service to keep track of who visits their website (how many hits, where are they from, etc.). We swear that we won’t turn over our records to the Bush administration. Many sites, including our own, use Sitemeter. Sitemeter also tells you the search term someone keyed in to a search engine like Google to arrive at a blog. Earlier, blogger Suhail Kazi brought this to my attention. It is a screenshot of the sitemeter keeping track of his blog (see the last line). The internet is apparently buzzing with people desperately looking to substantiate rumors swirling around Manish’s trip to India.

What is Manish really doing in India? Is he keeping his fellow mutineers in the dark? You know me. I’m not one to gossip but I’m just saying…

In some exciting news, New Zealand’s next Governor General is going to be a desi, Judge Anand Satyanand [Thanks 3rd Eye]. Satyanand was born and raised in New Zealand (his parents were Indo-Fijians) and last held the job of the Parliament’s ombudsman. I think he’s the first desi Governor General outside of a South Asian country.

Lord of the sheep, a true sepia mutton-ier!

You do realize what this means, don’t you? A desi is (nominally) in charge of the great country of New Zealand. He could veto all their new laws, order the government to dissolve, or command their army to invade Australia! Well, not really, it’s a symbolic position now, but it wasn’t always.

The Governor General is a vestigial organ left over from when the Empire became the Commonwealth. It’s the old Imperial Viceroy job; in India, Mountbatten simply switched titles with Independence. Once upon a time, it was a very powerful position:

Governors-General notionally hold the prerogative powers of the monarch he is representing, and also hold the executive power of the country to which he is assigned. This means that the Governor-General has the power to certify or veto law (Royal Assent), and is also the head of the armed forces in his territory… Because of the Governor-General’s control of the military in the territory, the post was as much a military appointment as a civil one.

The Governor-General may exercise almost all the reserve powers of the Monarch. Except in rare cases, the Governor-General only acts in accordance with constitutional convention and upon the advice of the Prime Minister. A rare and controversial case of a Governor General independently exercising his authority occurred in 1975, when the Governor-General of Australia, Sir John Kerr, dismissed the Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam. [Link]

And even though the role is largely ceremonial today, it’s an important symbolic position:

The governor general officiates at state functions such as the opening of the parliament, signs off on laws and appoints judges and commissioned officers in the military. [Link]

Last spring, I went to visit my aunt in India who was at the time organizing the South Asia Association for Regional Cooperation (SAARC) summit for that year. She worked in the Bangladesh government, was adamant about the mission of SAARC, and would often come home telling me the woes of work over afternoon chai.

Created in 1985, “…SAARC provides a platform for the peoples of South Asia to work together in a spirit of friendship, trust and understanding. It aims to accelerate the process of economic and social development in Member States… Cooperation in the SAARC is based on respect for the principles of sovereign equality, territorial integrity, political independence, noninterference in internal affairs of the Member States and mutual benefit.Summits, which are the highest authority in SAARC, are to be held annually [link].”

SAARC to the South Asian region has served as a tool to create a unified regional dialogue as well as present a South Asian perspective into the international markets. I thought it was interesting that as my aunt was working on creating a cohesiveness of South Asians in South Asia I was working to create a cohesiveness of South Asians in America. It looks as if though these two may be getting a little more intertwined.

The US is expected to formally apply for membership as observer of the South Asia Association for Regional Cooperation (SAARC)…US Under Secretary John Wright is to formally apply for membership to Dhaka, the current chairman of SAARC. Member counties decided at the last SAARC meeting to include Afghanistan in the regional grouping and invite Japan and China as observers.[link]

Indian foreign secretary Shyam Saran was just on Capitol Hill lobbying for the India-U.S. nuclear energy deal. Surprisingly, 10 of the 18 India Caucus members are against the deal, and even the Clinton who still holds elected office isn’t on board. It’s surprising given stats we’ve blogged before showing that up to 90% of desi American registered voters went Dem in the 2004 election.

Clinton, said sources, derives a large amount of campaign funding from Indian Americans, but her silence, verging on opposition is, as one Indian American said, “deafening”… The irony is that 10 of the 18 Congressmen who have co-sponsored or supported the Bill are members of the India caucus, billed as the largest caucus in the US Congress on any one country…

A Washington source said, the Democrat opposition to the India deal was being “noticed” in the community. [Link]

The rich uncle contingent is dismayed:

The reason for this cold-shouldering could be many, including domestic political considerations arising out of the November 2006 Congressional and Senate elections. The Democratic Party would be loathe to propping up a significant foreign policy triumph by the Bush administration were it to endorse the nuclear deal. The Republican party, on the other hand, has become significantly disenchanted with President George W. Bush personally. In this climate of political hostility the deal could run the risk of being scuttled…

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has met [mostly desi] Muslim leaders in north-west England in a trip during which protesters expressed anger that an architect of the Iraq war was on their home turf… Dr Rice had been due to visit a mosque in Blackburn until its governors withdrew their invitation out of fear the occasion would be hijacked by demonstrators…

Cartoons lampooned the visit with The Independent carrying one showing a sign at a Blackburn Indian restaurant: “We regret we do not serve Rice.” [Link]

I’ve always been one of those girls that scoured mainstream beauty/fashion mags to see if there was a desi face within the pages. Of course, I was constantly disappointed. While thumbing through Jane Magazine’s April issue (print edition only) this weekend, I surprisingly found two. These two women were profiled in a list of “30 under 30,” basically, 30 cool women under the age of 30…

Miss Congeniality

Kashish Chopra, 22 - Washington D.C. Real Estate Agent; openly gay; Miss Congeniality at the 2003 Miss India pageant. “People would tell me how they were born gay but didn’t know how to come to terms with their personal or cultural identity. But they shouldn’t be afraid of it, because they are not alone.” (p104)

Alpana Singh, 29 - Chicago. Youngest female master sommelier in the country (and one of only 16 in the world). “It’s like, you can see Scarlett Johansson having wine, whereas Tara Reed is doing shots of tequila. Do you want to be Scarlett or Tara?” (p121)

She Likes Her Wine

The New York Times reports that a former investigator with Congress’ Government Accountability Office (G.A.O) is blowing the whistle on his own office, as well as the Bush administration’s oversight of the contracters building elements of the national missile defense shield:

A senior Congressional investigator has accused his agency of covering up a scientific fraud among builders of a $26 billion system meant to shield the nation from nuclear attack. The disputed weapon is the centerpiece of the Bush administration’s antimissile plan, which is expected to cost more than $250 billion over the next two decades.

The investigator, Subrata Ghoshroy of the Government Accountability Office, led technical analyses of a prototype warhead for the antimissile weapon in an 18-month study, winning awards for his “great care” and “tremendous skill and patience.”

Mr. Ghoshroy now says his agency ignored evidence that the two main contractors had doctored data, skewed test results and made false statements in a 2002 report that credited the contractors with revealing the warhead’s failings to the government.

The agency strongly denied his accusations, insisting that its antimissile report was impartial and that it was right to exonerate the contractors of a coverup… And Mr. Ghoshroy’s assertions raise new questions about the Boeing Company’s military arm, the main contractor for the troubled $26 billion system of interceptor rockets now being installed in Alaska and California. The system’s “kill vehicles” are to zoom into space and destroy enemy warheads by force of impact. [Link]

Mr. Ghoshroy seems to have a strong background in defense weaponry and is currently at Harvard’s Kennedy School:

Until his arrival at the Belfer Center, Mr. Ghoshroy was a Senior Defense Analyst at the U.S. General Accounting Office, which he joined in 1998. Mr. Ghoshroy’s primary responsibility has been to provide independent technical advice to GAO staff and managers on GAO evaluation of weapons systems that employ sophisticated technology. In this capacity, Mr. Ghoshroy has contributed among others to reviews of National Missile Defense, Airborne Laser, Land Warrior, and Joint Tactical Radio. [Link]

Amnesty International issued a public statement regarding the death sentence of an Iranian teenager:

On 3 January, 18-year-old Nazanin was sentenced to death for murder by a criminal court, after she reportedly admitted stabbing to death one of three men who attempted to rape her and her 16-year-old niece in a park in Karaj in March 2005. She was seventeen at the time. Her sentence is subject to review by the Court of Appeal, and if upheld, to confirmation by the Supreme Court. According to reports in the Iranian newspaper, E’temaad, Nazanin told the court that three men had approached her and her niece, forced them to the ground and tried to rape them. Seeking to defend her niece and herself, Nazanin stabbed one man in the hand with a knife that she possessed and then, when the men continued to pursue them, stabbed another of the men in the chest. She reportedly told the court “I wanted to defend myself and my niece. I did not want to kill that boy. At the heat of the moment I did not know what to do because no one came to our help”, but was nevertheless sentenced to death. [Link]

The court’s judgment has, to some, further exposed the unfairness of Islamic law with respect to women. As others have pointed out, Nazanin may have been unable to prove that she acted in self-defense because of certain evidentiary rules in Islamic law that place greater weight on the testimony of males.

The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. [Link]

Accordiginly, Nazanin and her niece may have testified that the three men attempted to rape them, but the testimony of the two surviving men would have successfully refuted this claim.

(For those interested, there is an online petition to “save” Nazanin, which will be submitted to UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and others.)

The case has also reinvigorated the debate about whether the death penalty should be applied to teenagers (an issue the Supreme Court of the United States recently addressed in Roper v. Simmons), and whether capital punishment should be abolished entirely.

In India, rape is not punishable by death, however some have argued that the availability of capital punishment should extend to rape cases. Columnist Vir Sanghvi, for example, suggested that “rape is as bad as murder,” particularly because of the nature of Indian society:

It is almost impossible to recover and lead a normal life after you have been raped in India. First of all, you probably can’t talk about it. Secondly, in many cases, even when you do complain, no action is taken against the rapist. Thirdly, you are finished on the arranged marriage market and if you’re already married, your husband acts as though you are now shop soiled. And finally, far from being counselled to cope with the trauma of rape, you face a new trauma: society’s hostility. [Link]

Ancestry from a non-India South Asian country? Check, Bangladesh. Woman? Check. Muslim? Check. Gay? Umm, no… but I could be if you want me to be… Cheeky? Check.

Much like that guy on FX that tries out something new for thirty days, these next thirty are devoted to you. You want me to go undercover and get an interview with Sunny Leone, I’ll do it. You want me to sneak stealthily into Abhi’s office and let a bee loose in it, and video his reaction, done. Figure out how to tap into the secret direct line in the ND office that pages Razib-the-Atheist so easily, I’m on it. And just like that other atheist, figure out a creative eBay auctions, such as, say, hours of Vinod in a dress, to funnel traffic to SM- well, I’m so there. Looking for a suitable boy/girl? I’ll match you up. Are you tired of all the Sheetal Sheth pictures and covers of Indian Maxim? Is the post on the hotness of the Bangladeshi blue eyed workers simply not enough? For you, I will fill my posts with as many John Abraham photos as possible. You got questions, I got answers. And if I don’t, I’ll sneak around under the official auspices of Sepia Mutiny Temporary Super Star and get them for you.

Who am I? I’m simply a coffee-colored geeky nerd. Nerding out to be a full on geek- with Desi-American issues being the core of what I work on. In all seriousness, it’s good to see a site that is creating a real community online, connecting and networking desis everywhere. I’m honored to join the roll to the right for the next 30 days, and hope to give it the justice it deserves. And now, let the real mutiny begin…?

I met our next guest blogger, Tanzila Ahmed (founder of South Asian American Voting Youth), under admittedly unfortunate circumstances. Through various back-channels and intelligence assets, I received word that Taz was trying to dig up dirt on…ME (presumably to infiltrate the Mutiny and bring us down). Apparently, some forces out there deemed me to be the weakest link at SM and the one most easily seduced/distracted by the feminine ways (Ha! Feel free to try). Little did Taz know that we had a counter-intelligence operation underway and that she had been under surveillance (e.g. warrantless blog taps) the whole time. We go to great lengths to assure our North Dakota-based hegemony. We’ve been holding Taz in our basement for the past eight months, flashing a series of mutinous images in front of her (our rotating banners). Before you can learn you must first un-learn. We had to be sure that she no longer feared anything. In just the past month a Stockholm-like syndrome set in and she began to come around. She is ready now, and the Mutiny is ready for her…

As some of you have now guessed, we were NOT in fact taken over by the junk peddlers of “Happy Hippie.” Our url is still very much our own. We want to take this opportunity to first thank the dozens who sent us emails of sympathy and offers of help to defend against the scurrilous cyber-squatters who chose the day before April 1st to attack us. Former SM guestblogger Cicatrix wrote to us immediately:

Who the f*ck are those squatters? They’re clearly not out to sell anything, but they’ve put in a lot of thought/effort (to mock either desis or hippies, I can’t tell) for random some web-hostage-takers. It’s like they deliberately hated sepiamutiny or something. I wonder if that idiot sepiahokum person is behind this. good luck, sepia crew. tell us if there’s anything we can do.

Former guestblogger PG wrote to us later in the day:

Hey’all,
Sorry to see you’ve gotten squatted. The “products” — they’re all fake and there are no working links to buy them — are insult to injury. A friend pointed out that according to register.com, you still should have the domain name until August 4, 2006. Could you give me more info on how this happened? I’d like to help if I can. Good luck,

PG

Half the Sins of Mankind & De Novo

In addition, parts of the blogosphere were in shock (and some a bit happy) to see what had become of us (see here, here, here, here, and here).

Also, a special shot-out to the dark one for being such a good sport:

I was going to post something here about how sepiamutiny got hijacked, but i’ve realized i’ve probably once again been caught by their april fool’s joke.
f*ckers :)
p.s.—it is quite amusing when you read the entries for “happy hippie” :)

Let’s not forget to mention the signed petition either.

But…there were also heroes out there today. A diligent few could not be fooled by so simple and pathetic a hoax. One in particular, Kaps of DesiPundit and Sambhar Mafia, took it upon himself to figure out which bloggers had been fooled and then left a comment on each of their websites informing them of the elaborate deception. Folks, I want to humbly submit his name for special recognition during next year’s world-renowned Indibloggies. That kind of devotion to truth and justice in the blogosphere simply MUST be recognized by his peers. It was, dare I say, delightful. :)

Our domain squatter troubles seem to have evaporated. It’s as if millions of mutineers cried out in outrage and were suddenly silenced. Welcome back.