May 11, 2008

The end of the flying Beefeater

In a rather surprising move, British Airways announced this week that it will no longer be serving beef aboard its (often Hindu-filled) flights in economy (a.k.a. “cattle”) class:

What will become of me now? What will they pay me in if not in beef?

British Airways has ditched beef for economy class passengers this summer in an attempt to appeal to a more international passenger base.

The familiar cabin crew inquiry of “chicken or beef?” will not be heard in economy after the airline ditched the national dish in favour of what it calls a lighter, healthier option.

Critics will suspect that the relentless pressure to cut costs that all airlines are facing is behind the move, although BA said cost was not a factor…

“We can only serve two options and beef and pork obviously have religious restrictions,” the spokesman added. BA’s second-biggest long-haul market, after transatlantic routes, is to India. [Link]

As might be expected, many Brits were not happy about this. For one thing, what the hell are all the Beefeaters going to do?

The decision to scrap the nation’s favourite fare was described as a “great shame” by the English Beef and Lamb Executive, formerly part of the Meat and Livestock Commission.

A spokesman said: “It is regrettable that Britain’s flag carrier is not proposing to serve Britain’s national dish.

“It is a meal we are rightly proud of. Roast beef and beefeaters are symbols or Britain used to promote tourism.

“Our beef is also much in demand overseas. It is predominately grass fed and highly praised for its flavour. [Link]

What is really regrettable, in my opinion, is that moves like this, made under the guise of multicultural sensitivity, more often than not backfire and may increase resentment of Hindus living in England. “Just another British tradition being erased by the immigrants.” In reality, British Airways did this to save money, not to be sensitive:

… as any Jew, Muslim, Hindu or vegetarian knows, meals that conform to religious belief or personal choice can be ordered in advance. That is why bacon sandwiches are handed out on early-morning shuttle flights without causing a riot.

So something is fishy and it is not just the pie. No, what we have here is space-saver wheel syndrome, or another example of the way the consumer is hoodwinked under the guise of efficiency, health, safety, security or conservation, while the reality of big business is always bottom line, bottom line, bottom line. British Airways may dissemble, but beef being available to those who wish to pay means that better living and religious sensitivity do not enter into it. Beef prices have risen from £2,500 per tonne to £4,000 per tonne in the past three months. If BA was upfront with its public, the announcement would read: if you can’t afford it at home, you ain’t getting it on us. At least then you would know where you stood. [Link]

For British Airways it is easier to “blame” the loss of beef on Hindus than to admit that cost cutting is necessary. A third way of looking at this is that getting rid of the beef on BA flights is actually good for the environment and will help reduce greenhouse gas emissions. This is how British Airways should have justified the decision:

Meet the world’s top destroyer of the environment. It is not the car, or the plane,or even George Bush: it is the cow.

A United Nations report has identified the world’s rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species, from producing deserts to creating dead zones in the oceans, from poisoning rivers and drinking water to destroying coral reefs. [Link]

abhi at 12:27 PM in Aviation, Economics, Food, News, Religion · 21 comment(s) · Direct link

May 05, 2008

Hot Breads = Teh Yum

A few weeks ago we were in North Jersey, and went with friends to a new restaurant called “Hot Breads,” in Parsippany. I thought the idea of a cafe style restaurant along these lines was great, and I immediately thought, “hey, someone should open one of these down in Philadelphia!” When I got home, I hit Google, and discovered there are already two within 20 miles of my house, not to mention numerous franchises in California, Georgia, Maryland, Illinois, New York, Texas, and Virginia. [UPDATE: Abhi also gave his own take on this place two years ago, in this SM post]

Hot Breads specializes in stuffed croissants (tandoori chicken, paneer, etc.), but also offers a menu of other light foods (wraps, chaat, desi-style pizza) as well as dessert pastries. (See a typical menu here [PDF].) The format itself is a nice change from a typical Indian restaurant — with the year-round Christmas lights and sometimes shoddy service.

After the Parsippany experience, we went to the one in Lansdale/North Wales, and liked it even better. I particularly liked the Dabeli, a kind of Gujarati version of Vada Pav. I also found my Chicken Tikka wrap quite satisfying, and the chutney free version of the “Bombay Sandwich” we got for Puran was also good. We got stuffed Croissants to go, though perhaps they suffered a bit by being not quite as fresh when we actually ate them the next day. Next time, I’ll be curious to try the “Alu Chilli Pizza” — or perhaps the “Pav Bhaji Pizza.”

Oh, and everything tastes better with Limca!

amardeep at 10:31 AM in Food · 60 comment(s) · Direct link

May 01, 2008

Abhisheks and Pujas endangered in India

Can you imagine a world without any boys named Abhishek or girls named Puja? I simply can’t! It is too horrible and sad to even contemplate (unless it raises the worth of existing Abhisheks and Pujas). A generation from now, that’s where we might be headed if these crazy food prices don’t start to come down and these rituals become obsolete. The Washington Post on Wednesday described the growing problem in sad detail:

Every morning, Hindu devotees haul buckets of fresh, creamy milk into this neighborhood temple, then close their eyes and bow in prayer as the milk is used to bathe a Hindu deity. At the foot of the statue, they leave small baskets of bananas, coconuts, incense sticks and marigolds… But recently, Ram Gopal Atrey, the head priest at Prachin Hanuman Mandir, noticed donations thinning for the morning prayers. He knew exactly why: inflation.

With prices soaring for staples such as cooking oils, wheat, lentils, milk and rice across the globe, priests like Atrey say they are seeing the consequences in their neighborhood temples, where even the poorest of the poor have long made donations to honor their faith.

“But today the common man is tortured by the increases in prices,” Atrey lamented during one early morning prayer, or puja, adding that donations of milk were down by as much as 50 percent. [Link]

Without milk you cannot shower the Siva Lingam properly (hence, no Abhishek). Blame it on gas prices. The main reason that milk is becoming so expensive in India is because it costs more to ship that milk around by automobile. Dudhwallas no longer carry as much straight from the local cow.

In New Delhi, the price of rice rose by 20 percent and the price of lentils by 18 percent in the past year. Cooking oil prices have climbed by 40 percent over the same period. The price of milk, which is essential in both diets and religious rituals, rose more than 11 percent in the past year.

Milk is literally the nectar of gods in India. Most temples in the south use it at least twice a day to bathe Hindu statues, since it symbolizes the eternal goodness of human beings and is seen as a generous offering to the faith. [Link]

In rough times like this you can begin to see part of the origin of vegetarianism in Hinduism. If you ate cows then the precious milk which sustains so much of the malnourished population would become even more scarce. Better to “make” beef sacrilegious lest you fall up hard times like these and be without. Now if we could have a reformation where the use of gasoline was deemed by many religions as being sacrilegious as well.

All humor aside, the food crisis is increasingly worrisome. Poor people spend a vastly greater portion of their earnings on food than people who are better off. If you squeeze them even more AND you take away their ability to pray in a traditional manner at the same time, that’s a powder keg of misery just waiting to go off, not just in India, but in many parts of this world.

abhi at 12:51 AM in Economics, Food · 80 comment(s) · Direct link

April 16, 2008

The proof of the pudding

Italy is waking up to the fact that some of its best chefs are not Italian which is seen by some as a national crisis. In a recent list of the best restaurants in Rome:

… second place was L’Arcangelo, a restaurant with a head chef from India. The winner: Antico Forno Roscioli, a bakery and innovative restaurant whose chef, Nabil Hadj Hassen, arrived from Tunisia at 17 [Link]

Foreign chefs are so widespread that even at one of the most traditional restaurants in the capital, 70% of the chefs are of non-Italian origin. Many Italians feel that food, like culture, has to be transmitted from Italian to Italian, and therefore see these changes as threatening.

Meanwhile, on this side of the Atlantic, one of the hottest tickets for Saturday’s first Passover Seder is Floyd Cardoz’s (non-Kosher) version of the traditional Passover meal:

Floyd Cardoz’s Indian take on gefilte fish needs no help from horseradish. It is a Kerala-style striped bass patty steamed in a banana leaf with a nice dose of spice on its own; mellow roasted beet salad is served alongside, bottom center… The choices are: excellent herbed chicken soup with a fluffy matzo ball seasoned with fenugreek ($16), banana leaf fish patties ($28), beet salad ($16), chicken tikka ($24, top left) and brisket spiced with ginger and chilies ($34), all in portions to serve two. [Link]

This isn’t just passover food, the whole religious service will be held at the restaurant with all the guests to the seder eating family style.

Clearly the cosmopolitans get to eat much better than the nativists. Game, set match.

ennis at 09:22 PM in Food · 5 comment(s) · Direct link

April 13, 2008

Honey, who shrunk the dosa?

A friend of mine emailed me this photograph of a mini-dosa from a desi restaurant’s lunch buffet in Davis Square:

It’s not the size of the dosa that counts, it’s the flavour of the filling

From a restauranteur’s perspective, this innovation makes perfect sense. You can’t serve everybody a dosa, it’s too large. And you can’t serve dosa slices either. Enter the mini-dosa, everybody gets dosaed, the restaurant has less waste, everybody goes home happy right?

And while we’re on the topic of alternadosas, how about totally American fillings like “Grilled Chicken with Goat Cheese, Spinach and Roasted Tomatoes” or “Tuna with Cilantro Chutney Dressing, Avacado, Arugala & Tomato”?

Are these reasonable innovations or travesties wrought by American commerce on the fine traditions of Madrasi South Indian cooking? In other words, is it a shanda like the bagel stick with the cream cheese inside, AKA the bagel Twinkie?

Ever toast, spread cream cheese on, and eat a bagel, and be like, damn, this is taking too long? Kraft’s Bagelfuls, essentially, a bagel Twinkie, are for you. A “Bagelful” is a frozen bagel tube with cream cheese inside. They’re kept in the refrigerator and then toasted, microwaved, or even eaten straight from the box. [Link]

How do we tell when a departure from beloved tradition is actually progress?

ennis at 11:14 PM in Food · 245 comment(s) · Direct link

February 20, 2008

What's God Got To Do (Got To Do) With It?

First off, a belated thanks to the Mutiny for letting me stay a month longer. I’m excited to be here, and even more excited that my topics now know no bounds. Brace yourselves. Huddle in the bunker.

You all know I love to write about food. And I love Sri Lanka. So what would make me sadder than anything? (Subtract conflict in Sri Lanka from consideration.) This piece about a Sri Lankan restaurant, from the Village Voice.

My friend K sent me this. (Thanks, K!) There’s so much wrong with it that I hardly know where to begin. But what struck me most was something I’ve been seeing more and more in coverage of Sri Lanka: gratuitous inclusion or overemphasis on religion. There’s enough carnage in Sri Lanka that I suppose people feel compelled to cover or mention the country. At the same time, they feel that they ought to smush news or writing about it into the Religion v. Religion WWE format currently favored by those discussing 9/11 and its aftermath.

Sietsema’s lede:

If it weren’t for almost perpetual civil war, Sri Lanka would be a model of ethnic and religious diversity. Four of the world’s chief faiths—Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity—live side-by-side on the teardrop-shaped island once known as Ceylon.

Let’s look at that again:

If it weren’t for almost perpetual civil war, Sri Lanka would be a model of ethnic and religious diversity.

In math terms: Almost perpetual civil war [along ethnic and to a lesser extent, religious lines] + model of ethnic and religious diversity = NOT A MODEL OF ETHNIC AND RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY! So why start like that? And then the whole story is suffused with religious and exoticizing language.

Not long ago, getting good Sri Lankan food required a pilgrimage, too. Staten Island’s Victory Boulevard hosts several small cafés anchored by a mosque, and there’s a slightly more ambitious Sri Lankan eatery in a remote Hindu neighborhood in Flushing. But now a full-blown Sri Lankan restaurant has appeared near Gramercy Park, like a sign from the deity (or deities).

All emphases mine. (As K pointed out, forget that Sigiri, another Sri Lankan restaurant, has already been in Manhattan for quite some time.) Read on: according to Sietsema, any Sri Lankan restaurant in New York must satisfy Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, and Muslims.

Nirvana’s best main courses are similarly anchored by an exotic starch. Pittu arrives like an encoded message from outer space—a perfect white cylinder compacted of beaten rice and shredded coconut, which begins to crumble and flake as it lands on your table.… Other strange and singular Sri Lankan starches…

First of all, pittu is apparently FROM SPACE. Second: Call the alliteration police! Nayagan, can you deduct pittu-points for this?

Now, this randomly religious restaurant review would be perhaps not such a big deal if it were not part of a larger pattern I’ve been observing. Coverage of Sri Lanka all too often gets skewed because it does not fit in the box of Religion v. Religion. Sietsema’s review mentions the word “ethnic” once, and the word “Sinhalese” once. While there is certainly a religious element to the conflict, it is hardly the only or even the dominant one.

I’m not in favor of deepening the chasms that exist in discussion of Sri Lanka, but when bringing that discussion to new participants, I’d like to see it reflected more accurately.

Other examples:

The Christian Science Monitor on Muslims in Sri Lanka. Asking if they’re “ripe for fundamentalism” is not any better just because the headline—and at least one subhead—ends in a question mark. This is not at all the story in this situation: the story is that there’s a huge population of victimized, displaced, largely ignored Muslims.

Dalrymple’s passing reference in the NYT to the “Sri Lankan Hindu extremists” who killed Rajiv Gandhi. The LTTE was responsible for the death of Rajiv Gandhi, but the organization is secular, and has Christian and Hindu members. Indeed, the Christian Science Monitor story indicates that it’s had Muslim members! But this does not fit into the commonly understood framework of religiously driven terrorism. (Check out Walter Laqueur for more on this.) And credit to Ramesh Rao, who has written about this elsewhere (although I certainly do not agree with everything he writes!)

This Sepia thread: Here. ‘Nuff said.

This, sadly, seems to me the most accurate take.

Now, the question is, what should people be doing about it? It would be super to have a productive discussion about it. But what conditions must be in place for that to happen?

V.V. at 08:04 PM in Food, Musings, News, Religion · 66 comment(s) · Direct link

January 15, 2008

Desi Food, in Theory

Through a post on the News Tab (thanks Bobby32), I came across an interesting “local food tourism” piece in the New York Times, featuring Krishnendu Ray, a Professor of Food Studies at NYU (can anyone think of a better discipline to be in? I can’t).

Professor Ray is the author of an intriguing-looking book called The Migrant’s Table: Meals and Memories in Bengali-American Households.

The Times has the cerebral Prof. Ray go on a tour of a series of very different Desi restaurants around New York City, beginning with high-end fusion food in Manhattan (Angon), passing through Jackson Diner (a cross-over favorite), stopping by the Ganesh Temple Canteen in Flushing (intriguing choice), and ending at a working class place in Brooklyn called Pakiza.

Ray’s comments are really intriguing. First there is a general, theoretical comment about the function of the Desi restaurant as a space of cross-cultural interaction in American cities:

“The immigrant body is a displaced body — it reveals its habits much more than a body at home, because you can see the social friction,” Mr. Ray said. “The ethnic restaurant is one of the few places where the native and the immigrant interact substantively in our society.”

Interesting — and possibly true. (Thoughts?) I think what Ray is getting at here is the fact that how we eat is both more intimate and harder to conceal than other aspects of cultural difference. In many other spheres, adaptation and mimicry can be pretty straightforward: you buy a certain kind of suit and shoes, and fit in at a workplace or school, more or less. But eating is closer to home, and the Indian restaurant in particular is a space where “old habits” (like, say, eating with one’s hands) can come out safely. But, as Ray also points out, the rules are somewhat different when the Indian restaurant in question has a mix of Desi and non-Desi patrons.

On $6 for a tiny, pyramid-shaped mound of Bhel Puri at Devi, Ray says:

“We like this very clever insider joke,” Mr. Ray continued. “We are taking something cheap and from the street, and reducing the quantity, turning it into a pyramid, putting it on a big plate, and all these white guys are paying 20 bucks for it.” (link)

Heh. His bewilderment at the idea of veal at a restaurant named “Devi,” as well as at the ingenious preposterousness of “Masala Schnitzel” is also worth a look. I also agree with him about the greatness of Saravanaas, on Lexington Avenue, and on a few other things as well.

amardeep at 12:15 PM in Food · 82 comment(s) · Direct link

January 08, 2008

A Spot of Teh?

Preston says that I carry a teabag everywhere the way a teenage boy carries a condom. I disagree, as (I presume) teenage boys carry condoms with hope, and I don’t actually want to use the emergency teabag stowed in the change pocket of my wallet. Yes, there is such a thing as a tea emergency—the moment when only black Sri Lankan tea (with milk, one sugar) will make me happy. But I have had no such emergencies in Malaysia, as the tea here (teh tarik, as my preferred version of it is called) tastes like tea in a Sri Lankan home. (Teh tarik is “pulled tea,” according to one of our guidebooks. When I read what that meant, I realized that it’s what I know in Tamil as “athefining.” Pardon the poor transliteration.) Made with condensed milk and mixed by being poured from one vessel to another, it’s fantastically refreshing.

But before tea: food. And here Malaysia outdoes almost every other country I’ve visited. At the open-air food court nearest our hotel, Nasi Kandar Pelita, the cash registers feature a line-up of complimentary meal-enders: vitamin drops of various fruited flavors. The emptiest bin, however, is the one farthest to the left—antacids! The food is well worth the gastronomical price, and worth much more than its actual price.

We visited Nasi Kandar Pelita three or four times. Most of the waiters there are Indian. One, upon spotting me, came over to offer a menu, and then promptly said, “You are from Ceylon?” Ismail, a Chennai native, went out of his way to find me every time I visited Nasi Kandar Pelita.

As Malaysia is an Islamic country, the food here is generally cooked without pork. Frying seems the strategy of choice, with boiling an occasional alternative. From talking to Ismail I discovered that it was possible to order with less ennai (oil). My favorite food is roti canai, a taste I acquired at Nyonya in New York, where it is regrettably only available as an appetizer. The roti dough is folded over and over before frying to make a bread with a flaky outside and stretchy inside. It’s generally served with chicken curry and dhal reminiscent of my mother’s. Malaysians eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can see why. With an egg added onto the bread, it’s even better.

In Singapore, open-air food courts are called hawker centres, but in Malaysia they don’t seem to share that name. In both places, they’re far more plentiful than restaurants; in Singapore, they have distinctly different restaurants under different managements. It’s like an American food court, but the food is consistently restaurant quality. At the Singaporean hawker centres—specifically, the one on Zion Road, across from the Citibank—we ate quay teow. Here it was made with slivers of fried pork. Dessert, selected by a Singaporean friend from my undergraduate days, were wonton-like spheres filled with sesame and crushed peanut. Served in bowls of soybean milk, with curds, they were surprising bursts of sweet flavor—good enough that on our return trip through Singapore, we will go out of our way to eat them again. (I think they were called eboling.) Singapore’s hawker centres are carefully regulated and inspected for hygienic practices. It’s probably safer to eat the food here than it is to eat in many regular restaurants around the world!

And certainly far more delicious. In Malaysia, the food offers even more surprising blends. You can get fresh fruit, fruit smoothies (durian/kiwi is a popular option, although one we didn’t try). At Nasi Kandar Pelita, I did have mango juice, which was pretty much a mango stuck in a blender, plus sugar. It was far and away the best I’ve ever had. At another place, Seetharam in Brickfields (Kuala Lumpur’s Little India), I saw puttu goreng on the menu. I know puttu as a Sri Lankan food. The steamed flour and coconut is sometimes eaten instead of rice. (It’s made from the same kinds of flour used to make idiappam.) In my mother’s house, puttu is generally made in a cylindrical steamer. Goreng refers to a Malaysian style; as far as I can discern, it means assorted foods and ingredients mixed together. Fried rice, therefore, is goreng. I ordered utthappam, and Preston had a dosa; our whole meal, which included several curries, came to $2USD.

Finally, in Kuala Lumpur we met a SepiaMutiny lurker and her husband at KLCC for coffee. We stopped into a Starbucks, where I got teh tarik again. Malaysian food is better, even when provided by The Man: when was the last time you saw a chicken onion roll at your local hangout?

Starbucks.

At Seetharam, where a two Americans ate for two dollars.

At Nasi Kandar Pelita, eating roti canai and roti bom.

Nasi Kandar Pelita.

A Singapore Sling (you can get them in Malaysia too).

V.V. at 07:36 PM in Food · 45 comment(s) · Direct link

November 17, 2007

How to map Muslims and find the best falafels

A couple of diabolically ingenious (or phenomenally stupid) plans have been recently reported on in the media, both plans intended to ascertain where American Muslims be hanging out (so as to keep tabs on the potential terrorists hiding among them). The first was Los Angeles’ Muslim Mapping Project. At first I assumed that the LAPD intended to map the spread of Islam in the world since the birth of Muhammad…but then I realized that the department probably doesn’t employ many history or religion PhDs. “Muslim Mapping” must mean something else. Here is an excerpt from the LAPD officer who briefed the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs (headed by Joe Lieberman):

“In order to give our officers increased awareness of our local Muslim communities, the LAPD recently launched an initiative with an academic institution to conduct an extensive “community mapping” project. We are also soliciting input of local Muslim groups, so the process can be transparent and inclusive. While this project will lay out the geographic locations of the many different Muslim population groups around Los Angeles, we also intend to take a deeper look at their history, demographics, language, culture, ethnic breakdown, socio-economic status, and social interactions. It is our hope to identify communities, within the larger Muslim community, which may be susceptible to violent ideologically-based extremism and then use a full-spectrum approach guided by an intelligence-led strategy…” [Link]

“We want to know where the Pakistanis, Iranians and Chechens are so we can reach out to those communities,” LAPD Deputy Chief Michael P. Downing was quoted by CBS news as saying Thursday. [Link]

This plan actually makes a lot of sense to me (and doesn’t Downing seem downright neighborly?). It would be much too difficult to move all the Muslims into ghettos with well-defined boundaries. I don’t think Homeland Security has that kind of budget (yet). Why not use GIS data and other high tech strategies to simply make a virtual map of Muslims? I mean, Google Map already has overlays for satellite imagery, traffic, and street view. It wouldn’t be hard for Google to simply add a “Muslim neighborhoods” overlay to their GoogleMaps would it?

We have learned that Muslim communities in the U.S. are mistrustful of the mainstream media. Therefore, they may turn to other sources of information for news and socialization, such as the Internet. Unfortunately, despite all of the positive aspects of the Internet, it allows those individuals and groups with ideological agendas to easily make contact with like-minded individuals and access potentially destructive information. [Link]

Holy crap. I know that Muslims read our site and socialize here with like-minded individuals through comments. Despite the fact that I like this plan I hope we aren’t getting mapped as well.

As you might have guessed, people immediately started whining about this. Here is the LA City Beat’s critical take:

We can imagine Daryl Gates got a good chuckle during one of his jogs in the Monterey Hills as he pondered the suggestion by LAPD’s terrorism expert to map neighborhoods where Muslims hang out in Los Angeles. The bad idea ranks right down there with the political spying unit that flourished under Gates and amassed files on Mayor Tom Bradley and city councilmembers, among others.

Before we revert to the dark ages of the 1980s, the mayor and police commission must embark on a high-profile campaign to ensure that Deputy Chief Michael Downing’s mapping idea, even in the vague utterings given last week to a congressional subcommittee in Washington, D.C., finds a home in the deepest recesses of the very crowded Gates’s Hall of Fame of Bad Ideas.

Set aside the constitutional and ethical objections, it would be logistically impossible to come up with any sort of comprehensive map showing where the hundreds of thousands of Muslims reside in our diverse city. They, like the rest of us, are too scattered, from San Pedro to El Sereno, from Brentwood to Boyle Heights. You can crunch Census stats and other public records and you’ll never know our religion, if any. Muslims aren’t all called Mohammed. We don’t want any undercover cars in our neighborhoods keeping an eye on our Muslim neighbor. [Link]

And then the plan was cancelled. Just like that:

The Los Angeles Police Department is scrapping its controversial plan to create a map detailing the Muslim communities in the sprawling metropolitan area, bowing to the outcry among Muslims and others that the project was a thinly disguised form of racial profiling.

“We put it out there, it was rejected, it’s dead on arrival,” the police chief, William J. Bratton, said at a news conference after a meeting with Muslim residents and civil rights organizations who had criticized the plan. “It will not be going forward…” [Link]

Awww. Maybe this was just an idea ahead of its time. But…that wasn’t the only “cool” idea to recently surface. The next one is just full of awesomeness:

Like Hansel and Gretel hoping to follow their bread crumbs out of the forest, the FBI sifted through customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006, hoping that sales records of Middle Eastern food would lead to Iranian terrorists.

The idea was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area.

The brainchild of top FBI counterterrorism officials Phil Mudd and Willie T. Hulon, according to well-informed sources, the project didn’t last long. It was torpedoed by the head of the FBI’s criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason, who argued that putting somebody on a terrorist list for what they ate was ridiculous — and possibly illegal.

A check of federal court records in California did not reveal any prosecutions developed from falafel trails. [Link]

Growing up, my family loved falafels. My mom made them at home and we sought them out at local restaurants. I know many other Indian families that love falafels as well. Anna once took me to a great falafel joint in Adams Morgan. I for one support ANY plan that would be able to help identify the best falafel joints (by tracking their raw materials) AND keep the homeland safe as an extra bonus. Again, imagine if GoogleMaps added an overlay feature identifying the best Middle Eastern restaurants with little falafel icons. Yum. But alas, this idea too was killed:

The program, however, was short lived and was quickly “torpedoed by the head of the FBI’s criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason, who argued that putting somebody on a terrorist [watch] list for what they ate was ridiculous — and possibly illegal…” [Link]

Tom Friedman is right. As a country we have stopped innovating and seem to scrap our brightest ideas before they are allowed to mature. Is it any wonder we are falling behind the rest of the world?

abhi at 03:11 PM in Food, Humor, Law, News · 56 comment(s) · Direct link

October 31, 2007

Making the most of Halloween

Think about it. Once a year a bunch of impressionable young children come to your door and give you their undivided attention. This presents the PERFECT opportunity to proselytise. It’s like a reverse Jehovah’s Witness-type situation. While many of the world’s other religions are clever enough to take advantage of this amazing opportunity, Hindus are left behind (mostly due to a lack of creativity it seems). Beliefnet has a great feature that gives us a tasty sampler of some of the divine candy out there, and also provides us insight into why Hinduism faces an uphill battle when it comes to creating converts of the young:

First up is the Christian “Scripture Candy:”

Once you pop, you can’t stop! These scripture-wrapped mints are downright addictive. Not too minty, yet soft enough to melt in your mouth. According to the maker, these mints were created to turn “a pagan holiday into something to glorify God…” [Link]

Why can’t someone make candy with Gita passages?

Next we have Star of David pops:

I’d eat a chocolate Hanuman pop if it existed. I’m just sayin’.

Even Buddhists get in on the action with some cool candy:

Does it mean I’m Evil if I think biting that head off would be fun?

Christians have multiple options just so you know:

Available in traditional mint flavors and fruit flavors, these candies are covered with bilingual biblical sound bites. [Link]

Mintyness is next to Godliness

Even Muslims get a crispy treat in some provocative packaging:

Some panelists found this treat to be “Islamalicious”; a few felt there was “something slightly off” in the flavoring and cited a faint aftertaste. “As a fan of kosher marshmallows, I’m happy to see that Muslims are embracing marshmallows as well,” a Jewish taster noted. [Link]

Does that look like an explosion on the package?

And what do Hindu’s get? A chocolate Om. Its just not very inspiring in comparison if you ask me:

Doesn’t quite inspire me to convert.

Luckily we DO have one cool option. It’s not cheap though and isn’t small enough for mass distribution. Devout Hindus will just have to stand by and watch as rival religions attract new members through their candy this Halloween.

By the way, if you’ll remember back to April Fool’s Day a couple of years ago, I did enter the Hindu candy market myself at one point. It was just a brilliant idea way ahead of its time:

abhi at 07:01 AM in Food, Humor, Religion · 25 comment(s) · Direct link

October 12, 2007

Help Me Sing It, Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa

When it comes to “hot fields of scientific research”, obviously desis are at the forefront of discovery and innovation; that’s not chauvinism, that’s just logic. Millions of brown people exist and a solid chunk of them are in science, so the odds are just stacked in our favor. But I digress. And there’s exciting stuff regarding Proteome Research to get to, so let’s get back on topic! [Via MSNBC]:

A small study links the type of bacteria living in people’s digestive system to a desire for chocolate. Everyone has a vast community of microbes in their guts. But people who crave daily chocolate show signs of having different colonies of bacteria than people who are immune to chocolate’s allure.

That may be the case for other foods, too. The idea could eventually lead to treating some types of obesity by changing the composition of the trillions of bacteria occupying the intestines and stomach, said Sunil Kochhar, co-author of the study. It appears Friday in the peer-reviewed Journal of Proteome Research.

This study isn’t biased at all:

Kochhar is in charge of metabolism research at the Nestle Research Center in Lausanne, Switzerland. The food conglomerate Nestle SA paid for the study. But this isn’t part of an effort to convert a few to the dark (or even milk) side of cocoa, Kocchar said.

Here’s my favorite part of the study:

In fact, the study was delayed because it took a year for the researchers to find 11 men who don’t eat chocolate.

BWAH! In your face, people who think chocolate craving = pre-menstrual misery and weakness. MEN! They couldn’t find eleven MEN who don’t indulge.

Kochhar compared the blood and urine of those 11 men, who he jokingly called “weird” for their indifference to chocolate, to 11 similar men who ate chocolate daily. They were all healthy, not obese, and were fed the same food for five days.

The researchers examined the byproducts of metabolism in their blood and urine and found that a dozen substances were significantly different between the two groups. For example, the amino acid glycine was higher in chocolate lovers, while taurine (an active ingredient in energy drinks) was higher in people who didn’t eat chocolate. Also chocolate lovers had lower levels of the bad cholesterol, LDL.

That does it. I’m having red wine and Cadbury for dinner tonight. What to do? It’s the healthy choice.

The levels of several of the specific substances that were different in the two groups are known to be linked to different types of bacteria, Kochhar said.

They’re still not sure if it’s the bacteria that wants to be startin something, gots to be startin something or if diet affected the bacteria blah blah chicken egg.

How gut bacteria affect people is a hot field of scientific research.

I think my tummy is always warm, but that is based on highly unscientific rubbing of it, while attempting to pat my head simultaneously.

Wots this? A reference to my bellowed alma mater? GO AGS!

…Kochhar’s research makes so much sense that people should have thought of it earlier, said J. Bruce German, professor of food chemistry at the University of California Davis. While five outside scientists thought the study was intriguing, Dr. Richard Bergman at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, had concerns about the accuracy of the initial division of the men into groups that wanted chocolate or were indifferent to it.

What matters to Kochhar is where the research could lead.

Kochhar said the relationship between food, people and what grows in their gut is important for the future: “If we understand the relationship, then we can find ways to nudge it in the right direction.”

You can nudge me right in the direction of some hot cocoa on this oddly autumnal day; apparently we had a 40 degree temperature drop in a scant 48 hours, at some point this week (Can I get a hearty WTF? Or was this orchestrated in conjunction with the Nobel committee, to make us all think of global warming while Gore gets his props?).

I’m so not used to being cold. Right now, I’m wearing a turtleneck sweater with a thinsulate vest over it; I was wearing a sleeveless dress on Monday! Also, I am taking little breaks while I type this to nibble on a chocolate chip cookie. Apposite, nah? Admit it, you total want one, too. Awww, don’t feel bad…it’s not your fault. Thanks to Sunil, now you are aware of your status as an innocent captive to your gutsy bacteria. Blame the glycine— it gots to be startin’ something!

anna at 05:00 PM in Dance, Food, Health and Medicine, Humor, Science · 28 comment(s) · Direct link

September 28, 2007

Pizza Pizza

We subscribe to two ‘general interest’ magazines in my house — one is The New Yorker (my choice), and the other is Fortune (my wife’s choice). For awhile I used to boycott Fortune and stick to 10,000 word articles by Louis Menand, Adam Gopnik, and co. But over time I’ve started to flirt more with the other side — especially when I only have a few minutes to read. Over cereal this morning, I came across an article in the ‘other’ magazine about American Pizza chains competing in India, which contained the following paragraphs:

It’s not all that surprising that pizza is big business in India. The product itself is similar to India’s native cuisine. Unlike Chinese and Japanese, Indians eat leavened bread (naan), and a popular traditional version slathers it in butter and garlic - not unlike garlic bread, the most often ordered side dish at both Domino’s and Pizza Hut franchises in India.

Cheese (paneer) is ubiquitous in India’s northern cuisine. Tomatoes and all kinds of sauces are prevalent everywhere. Combine these ingredients into one gooey, oily, tasty dish that you can eat with your hands - as Indians traditionally do - and you have a hit.

It’s estimated that 80% of Indians are vegetarians, so pizza suits that Indian cultural aspect too. Both chains are scrupulous about keeping “veg” from “non-veg” in their kitchens and invite people in to see the separate prep areas. There are even pizza options for India’s 5.2 million Jains, followers of a religion that prohibits eating onions or garlic. And stores in heavily Muslim areas don’t offer pepperoni. (link)

First of all, I don’t think 80% of Indians are vegetarians in the absolute sense (i.e., no fish), probably not even close. (I remember seeing someone pose 50-60% and falling in a comment thread some time ago).

Secondly, mozzarella cheese is like paneer? And: “A gooey, oily, tasty dish” that Indians like, because they eat with their hands? The author is on thin ice with some of this stuff. Instead of coming up with these questionable sociological stereotypes, she could just as easily speculate that pizza is popular in India because it’s new, and different from what people are used to/bored with.

(Anyone hungry for pizza now? I am. I think I might get a slice, and eat it while reading The New Yorker.)

amardeep at 11:48 AM in Food · 55 comment(s) · Direct link

September 24, 2007

DC Meetup: Noon, Saturday the 29th, Nirvana [Updated]

With hazaar apologies to Information Society, Spock and everyone else who remembers 1988 (which is when I graduated from Junior High— I throw that in because one of you recently lamented that you were like, the oldest person? On, like, Sepia Mutiny? So put that in your Bengali and smoke it). Behold, an unforgivably mangled version of that unforgettable dance classic with the Star Trek sample (you know you had the 12”…don’t lie): What’s on Your Mind (Pure Energy)

Here I am in silence,
Looking round without a clue.
I find myself alone again
without input from you.
I see 89 comments
but there are things that I don’t know.
If you hide your thoughts from me,
How can our meetups grow?

I want to know
What you’re thinking.
There are some things we can’t hide.
I want to know
What you’re feeling.
Tell me what’s on your mind.

I know I could be bossy,
But what good would it do?
I would really like to know
what you’d prefer to do.
Homecoming is this weekend
It’s a game they have to play.
But you and I want dosa.
On that very same day!

::

Okay, my inner, uber-alienated, blue-square-toe-doc marten wearing radio-station volunteer wants to throttle me for desecrating such an ancient, adhesive song, so I’ll stop now. No need to send thank you notes or comments for such small mercies. ;)

Seriously though— I’ve written this post because we are FIVE DAYS from the meetup and we haven’t resolved two things something:

• what time we’re meeting Noon on Saturday, the 29th it is

• what, if any, obstacle Georgetown’s Ho-coming presents

Amma opens at 11:30 am. I am so concerned about Hoyas bleeding blue all over M street, that I am almost willing to have our meetup elsewhere. Since I put up dosa pr0n, I feel like it’s only right that we know dosa-afterglow. BUT, the other place in DC where we can dosa is at Nirvana, which one of you says is better than Amma…though the reviews I’ve read are mixed at best (and most troubling of all— the word ketchup is constantly mentioned, by both amateurs AND Sietsema!).

Nirvana is not too good to be true. The breads I’ve tried are invariably heavy and dull, and the vindaloo, while admirably fiery, comes off like ketchup with a swagger, just a thick red paste slathered on chunks of vegetables that could stand more cooking. The rice-and-bean-flour pancake known as uthappam is unexciting a few bites in. But these are minor distractions in a restaurant of so many unexpected pleasures. [sietsema/wapo]

Nirvana is very metro accessible; it’s at 18th and K streets NW and thus far enough from Georgetown/hungover Hoyas/parking nightmares. From what I’ve read, it’s an all vegetarian, Gujurati restaurant run by Jain people. Many diners compliment Nirvana’s lunch buffet, which thoughtfully and creatively serves a different cuisine each day (including street food and Rajasthani stuff!)— the only problem is, that’s a WEEKDAY thang. So no help to us, eh?

I know that none of you (except for three of you, whose identities I shall not reveal, even if I’m tempted with theeyal…mmm, vendakka theeyal) loves Amma as much as I do, or thinks they are quite as yummy, but after all my online research, I feel like it’s a safer bet, in terms of satisfaction. Thoughts? I’m totally willing to try something new, especially if it’s with all of you. :)

And is meeting at noon okay we ARE meeting at noon. Both restaurants are open by then. I’ve heard from Karthik, Msichana (whose husband is tagging along- he is a sex and relationship therapist…kinda), Mr. Wise, Kenyandesi, Buddhuram, Coffeeface, HappyNoNoPlace, Shaad, Coconut Oil and MuraliMannered. Ylrsings, who told us about Homecoming in the first place, Skeptical Desi and Lion, I wasn’t sure if you were in…so please let me know. Our count is anywhere from 14 to 18 at this point. All right— speak up or I’ll destroy more 80s music and torture you with it.

::

That picture is from the first meetup at Amma; it’s their yummy chole bhatura. :)

::

Update # 1

In case it wasn’t clear, we’re meeting at Noon. Thanks for decision number one. Now let’s pick a place already! Any more info about homecoming? Or if Nirvana is delicious?

::

Update # 2

Nirvana it is. After the way some of you have talked it up, it’s going to have to live up to some ridonkulous hype, mutineers. Expect a writeup AND a review. ;)

::

anna at 08:06 PM in Food, Meetups! · 85 comment(s) · Direct link

September 19, 2007

How’s the fasting going?

Every year, at Ramadan, Hawk draws comics showing how his alter-ego is dealing with the challenges of fasting. These trippy comics are some of my favorites:

If you click on it, it’s the first in a sequence of Ramadan fasting themed strips.

Related posts: ‘Applegeeks’

ennis at 03:01 PM in Comics, Food, Holidays, Humor, Religion · 28 comment(s) · Direct link

June 14, 2007

Suni side up

When my worlds align, you know I’m going to blog it:

SUNI WILLIAMS DAY AT JSC

Help celebrate a major spaceflight milestone as Expedition 15 Flight Engineer and STS-117 crew member Sunita Williams sets a new female long duration spaceflight record. She will surpass Shannon Lucid’s long-held record of 188 days, 4 hours this Saturday, June 16 at 12:47 a.m CDT.

So how do we help celebrate this kick-ass achievement?

To show your support for Suni, wear something red this Friday, June 15 (In honor of her love of the Red Sox). Also on Friday, the Starport cafés will feature 2 eggs “Suni”-side up on Texas Toast for $.99 and Chicken Indian Spiced Malai Murgh for $ 3.49 ala cart and $5.99 Combo. The Chicken breast is coated with a mixture of spices (cumin, garlic, pepper, lemon juice, chopped jalapenos, paprika, and sour cream) then roasted and served with rice.

Oh yeah! Curry in the cafeteria. Have any of you had government institutional food before? This intrepid blogger’s passion for venturing places where no man has gone before compels him to try the chicken on Friday. If I’m ever lucky enough to go in to space someday I am going to make them serve dosas with sour cream and ketchup in the cafeteria when I come down. Let’s pray our girl makes it down ok:

NASA engineers and astronauts are working on innovative ways to fix a tear in the heat shield of the shuttle Atlantis which had taken off last Friday.

One of the methods that could be used to fix the tear would be using a stainless steel wire serving as thread and an instrument with a rounded end resembling a small needle.

This is usually used to repair tears in astronaut suits but may work here as well. [Link]

By the way, Suni’s dog, the terrier she had to leave behind on Earth and who goes by the name of “Flat Gorby,” is becoming kind of famous. You know how people sometimes take pictures of gnomes at different locations around the world? Just type in Flat Gorby in Google and see all the hits the dude has and where he has “visited” while she has been up in space.

abhi at 07:55 PM in Food, Humor, Science and Technology · 6 comment(s) · Direct link

June 08, 2007

The milk of human kindness does not curdle

Rani woke up one morning in Singapore with an idea - why not make paneer from the left over breast milk that was sitting in her freezer? [via BoingBoing] No, I’m not kidding:

Basically this is human cheese. Why would I do that?

Well, basically, there are about twenty bags (each 150ml) of frozen breastmilk in the fridge, and they have passed their three months drinkability period, which means I would not be able to donate the milk like I did before. But the milk is still less than six month old, which is the actual expiry date.

So what do I do with it? I could make cream soup like I did several months ago. But I really wanted to try something different, and making Breast Milk Paneer sounds really exciting. [Link]

I was a bit weirded out when I started reading this. Human milk is clearly a bodily fluid, it can even transmit HIV. Emotionally, it feels very different from cows milk, even though both come from teats so that mammals can feed their young.

I mean, when you’re eating brie you don’t say “I’m having moldy bovine bodily secretions” because you don’t deconstruct cheese. Human breast milk cheese, on the other hand, lays the process bare.

I also was uneasy at the idea that she was wasting something that precious, but interestingly enough, her motive for making the paneer was to avoid wasting any of the precious fluids. Given that she had frozen breast milk that she couldn’t use and couldn’t donate, wouldn’t it be less wasteful to eat it than throw it out? My curiousity overpowered my discomfort and I kept reading.

You know how to make paneer, right? You boil the milk and then you add something acidic to start the curdling process:

Just like when I’m making paneer, I added lemon juice at just the right time when it boils. Then I stirred the milk, waiting until curdle was formed. I waited, and waited, and waited, no curdle was formed although the milk turned a bit more yellow. So I added more lemon juice, this is what I usually do if the cow milk does not curdle. I added and added and added more lemon juice until I ran out of lemons, and I stirred and stirred and stirred, but the milk stood still.

Out of desperation because I ran out of lemons, I pour in a dash of vinegar too. Still, no change to the milk. I became really desperate and pour the whole bottle of vinegar! Nothing happened. [Link]

At this point Rani had a big smelly mess which she couldn’t salvage, and in fact had to dump. There’s a reason why she failed, and why nobody else has made human milk cheese before … it’s not possible!

It turned out that breast milk can not curdle, because the protein content is lower, and because the protein in breast milk is more easily digested compared to cow’s milk. That’s why, unmodified cow’s milk is unsuitable for babies. And on the other hand, adding acid to further ‘digest’ breastmilk protein won’t curdle the milk.

So, the moral of the story, YOU CANNOT MAKE CHEESE OUT OF BREASTMILK. Don’t even try. [Link]

You’ve just read a cheesy post about mammaries - while it has kept you abreast of science, don’t you feel like a boob ?

ennis at 04:06 PM in Food, Science · 57 comment(s) · Direct link

May 17, 2007

Whole Grain Naan @ Whole Foods: Not So Much.

After much kvetching about it, I will cave and put up a post so you aren’t tormented by South Indian perfection everytime you hit F5.

I find it wickedly hilarious that the only thing I had “ready-made” was also about…food. :) Don’t worry— these Naan looked a lot better than they tasted, which was not very good. How do you cook something with ghee in a tandoor and STILL have it taste like a pita?

::

I keep it fobulous, y’all.

No, really. I’m going to. By my conservative estimate, we have people from twelve different countries working on my project; several of them bring food from home every day, which they nuke in the microwave, which means the fragrance/reeking odor permeates the entire office suite.

When my Pakistani colleague heats something up, it smells vaguely familiar. Same for the Turkish food. But everything else…seriously, someone needs to pass a law which prohibits the reheating of SEAFOOD in microwaves. Vomitacious. That’s what that is. So, I am no longer going to be considerate to the point of paranoia about eating brown food at work, especially not when the Pakistani food comes here in big plastic dabas to facilitate multiple servings— people love desi food, so the man sweetly brings extra. That’s how I got some unexpected halwa a week or so ago. He was walking around the same way my Mom does at home, at the end of lunch, looking for someone to finish the last portion (whether they want to or not), so he could wash the dish. I was already full and in no mood for sooji halwa, but I got a big ass serving of it and you best believe I cleaned my plate in time to pass his inspection 20 mins later. :)

So. This is naan I found at Whole Paycheck on Sunday. I had absolutely no hope of it being good, especially since it has “BEST New Food Product in America” stickered upon it. I mean, it’s at Whole Foods. How authentic could it be? Still, stupidity springs eternal, innit?

Well, it is not the real deal or even remotely close, despite the fact that it is made (allegedly) in a tandoor, with ghee no less. But after the first two disappointing bites, I found myself going back for more. It tastes like really soft pita bread. Or a cross between pita and naan. As long as it doesn’t taste like Bisquick (I’m looking at you, lazy desi restaurants!!!), I’m open to destroying something pickled with it. I’m surprised to report that the “regular/white” type tasted much better than the whole-grain-loaded version pictured above left. Too bad, too. The wheatish ones looked somewhat like my mom’s puris…but they taste even more like pita bread than the “white” naan do.

Since I was already in an experimental mood, I tried a DIFFERENT brand of Kaduku Manga pickle: “Nirapara”. Verdict? Not bad at all. Tastes more home-made than my belowed Grandma’s brand, but that is because it has an edge I can’t quite determine the origin of— and imperfection feels homely. No matter. It’s my “work” kaduku manga. I’ve got half a case of the real deal safely squirreled away at home, where it belongs.

anna at 11:57 AM in Food, Musings · 49 comment(s) · Direct link

May 03, 2007

Miracle of science or antiseptic travesty?

Growing up, I never understood why some people found it necessary to use a bagel guillotine. It’s easy enough to cut a bagel with a sharp knife, and it avoids squishing the bagel the way a slicer does. Part of my rejection of the tool is probably New York Jewish snobbishness (coupled with fear that if I ever embraced such a shanda, I’d be required to return my virtual circumcision and fountain pen). But it also comes from a sense that using such tools makes the whole process of bagel eating less sensual and more antiseptic.

As such, I’m agnostic about the Oxo mango slicer until I actually get a chance to try one out for myself. On the one hand, if you watch the video below, you’ll see that it makes very quick work of a mango, turning it into two halves and the seed in no time flat. And honestly, I’m better at and more interested in mango eating than mango cutting.

On the other, I wonder if the tool exists because of the big deal that non-desis make about how messy mango eating is. I remember once somebody on the radio solemnly intoned “mangos should only be eaten naked and in the ocean.” My mother scoffed and replied “White people don’t know how to eat mangos, otherwise they wouldn’t make such a mess.” Sometimes I lose the fruit under all of the “exotic” subtext going on and I don’t know how much of this machine’s appeal lies in this myth of the messy, untamable mango.

Will any of you admit to having used a tool to (ahem) split the mango? If so, did it increase or decrease your pleasure?

Related Posts: Mmmmmmmangoes!, Flesh for Fantasy

ennis at 12:46 AM in Food, Science · 51 comment(s) · Direct link

April 20, 2007

The Chaat of Destiny

Some paragraphs were accidentally omitted from Somini Sengupta’s recent article on Chaat and other Delhi street foods in the New York Times. Because I am a super-devoted-Somini Sengupta groupie (a “Sengroupie,” you could call me), I was sent the missing paragraphs as a gift, under strict order not to reveal my sources:

The reporter visits a lost alleyway in Mastinagar, a suburb of Delhi. In the alley are an endless variety of special chaat stalls unknown to western taste-buds and unimagined by western food tourists. This is as “street” as it gets; if pressed, the people of this alley all state that they have never been near an air-conditioner or even a piece of plastic. Indeed, it is highly unclear whether the residents of Mastinagar have ever been outside Mastinagar, or even know that their “Shehr” is in the city and state of Delhi (indeed, one resident referred to the city, rather anachronistically, as “Tughlakabad”). In the lost alley, one finds an almost infinite variety of Chaats, some of which were tasted by a reporter. A short list of the highlights follows:

Orientalist Chaat: This type of chaat will fulfill all your desires for mystical knowledge and understanding, and set your brain on fire. If this chaat is eaten, it is said, the eater will learn a thousand yoga poses (a DVD is included), a thousand Sanskrit chants that will lead to Enlightenment, and perpetual unity of mind and body in pure relaxation bliss. After eating, you will have reached the other side of the moon, tasted the stars, found the ergonomically perfect chair, and finally know the answer to the question, Why Did the Bodhi-Dharma Leave For the East? (NOTE: Insiders report that Orientalist Chaat is exactly the same as regular Chaat, only 10,000 times more expensive.)

Erotic Chaat: This chaat is an aphrodisiac composed entirely of garlic and crushed Viagra powder. Not especially tasty, but surprisingly “potent,” as a reporter subsequently discovered.

Chaat Feng Shui: This Chaat, which is composed entirely of wind, water, and garam masala, is not meant to be eaten, but rather dispersed around a room in need of redecoration. Pirated Chaat Feng Shui originates from China, which continues to flood the Indian market with inexpensive rip-offs of actual Feng Shui.

Message Chaat: Kiwi, lime, mustard seeds, and ice cubes. Once the ice cubes have melted on your tongue, it is said, your message has been telepathically sent to the individual you are thinking of (the strength of the message is increased if the recipient has also eaten chaat recently). This type of Chaat is especially popular with Delhi’s young men, who are notoriously shy when it comes to talking to women they are not closely related to.

Immunity Chaat: The demons that chase you will be temporarily silenced by this chaat. Their multifarious coloration will be neutralized to blue, and the eater will suddenly be able to eat the blinking blue demons for extra points. This Chaat is also said to protect the eater from “Delhi Belly,” and is generally eaten by those who are planning to go on to eat other Chaats. As a result, some Chaat addicts of Mastinagar jokingly refer to Immunity Chaat as the “Gateway Chaat.”

Absolut Pani Puri: Absolut Pani puri is essentially regular Pani Puri (admittedly, not a “Chaat” per se), only with shots of Vodka instead of “pani.” This is thought to have been invented either at a rave party in Goa, or by the members of an Indian-American college fraternity, Delta Epsilon Sigma Iota. It was perfected at the Official Bhangra Blowout After-Party, 2003.

Penn Masala Chaat: This chaat tastes a little syrupy, but it is known to cause the eater to burst into spontaneous acapella renditions of Bollywood tunes.

Raagapella Chaat: Raagapella Chaat is ssentially similar to Penn Masala Chaat, but with a funny/clever desi-ized version of “Motel.” Many insiders predict Raaagapella Chaat will soon give Penn Masala Chaat a run for its money.

Gandi Chaat: Universally known as the best, most sublime form of chaat of all, Gandi chaat (also known as “Drrrty Chaat”) is exceptionally rare. This chaat is made of pure, ancient Indian dirt, and is served with ketchup. What constitutes the dirt is of course a strictly guarded secret; insiders say it comes from tribal regions of India that have never once been visited by outsiders, where all the inhabitants are albinos. Food archeologists have been desperate to understand the properties of this mysterious form of chaat, and have repeatedly tried to have samples sent by secure couriers to western labs for analysis. But the Drrrty Chaat is so addictive that no courier has every withstood temptation — and the Chaat has always somehow gotten eaten along the way. All the couriers have also mysteriously died, leading to the rumor that this Chaat, if ingested outside of India, will lead to instantaneous death.

(What other varieties of Chaat can be found in Mastinagar?)

amardeep at 02:38 PM in Food, Humor, Travel · 32 comment(s) · Direct link

April 16, 2007

Do I Make You Offended Baby, Do I?

I had heard about, made a mental note to blog about and then promptly forgotten Tanqueray’s newest offering— Tanqueray Rangpur Distilled Gin —until one of you alkies Sena X thoughtfully reminded me of it via our News Tab. Sena X posted a link to YouTube, where a mini-movie starring Tony Sinclair (who always reminds me more of Austin Powers than a “highly-esteemed socialite”) had been deposited in what I’m guessing is a bit of viral marketing (though the YTer’s other videos seem to have nothing to do with Tanqueray, liquor or other products, in general).

I watched the 9:53 extended commercial, which is a bit of a parody of one of my favorite shows, Globe Trekker, except in this spoof, it’s “Globe Probe”. When it was finished, I experienced a cocktail of mixed emotions, none of which I shall list, lest I somehow dilute the experience of watching it for yourselves, like one too many ice cubes in my Gold and coke. How many cliches can you spot? The winner gets…something. ;)

Seriously though— are any of you offended by this video? Amused? Indifferent? Is it as disrespectful as deities on knickers or nowhere close? I am sincerely curious as to what the Mutiny’s take on this is, considering the video’s plethora of orientalist stereotypes which got my eyes-rolling…do y’all think it is zimbly cute or utterly obnoxious?

p.s. For a ten-minute alcohol ad/movie that gets the job done so well, it ends up on our banners, get nostalgic with Mulit, here.

anna at 08:33 AM in Food, Humor, Identity, Video · 27 comment(s) · Direct link

March 27, 2007

Special Delivery: Come Give it to me (The Remix)

A few years ago, erstwhile mutineer Manish posted here about an enterprising Tiffinwalla in New York who would deliver healthy, vegetarian lunches (“2 chapatis, rice, dal, one vegetable, appetizer, dessert and pickle/chutney”) for all of $5.

I was living in California at the time and lazy ingrate that I am, I was green with longing, even as I was eating fresh Mallu food daily at home.

It just seemed like such a fantastic concept; New Yorkers got EVERYTHING, I wistfully thought. Couldn’t the left coast have had similar, especially during that arid, empty time that my Mother was abroad for two months? ;) I mean, protein shakes get old, y’all.

Apparently, my whining has been answered, according to a story in the grey lady which many of you were blowing up our tipline/news tab with (Thanks, Derick):

In Mumbai, formerly Bombay, the tiffin, or lunch, is prepared by the wife, mother or servant of the intended. In the United States, because of little time (and a lack of a domestic staff), many of these lunches are prepared by outsiders, but the underlying principle is the same…

Annadaata, which began as a homespun operation in 2002, has morphed into a business with several delivery people distributing meals each weekday across San Francisco. Kavita Srivathsan, 29, the chief executive of Annadaata, got her start by cooking meals for her new husband and his friends.

Srivathsan stumbled in to a market which was just waiting for someone like her to hook them up with comfort food:

She did not have a job at the time, so she spent her time learning how to cook Indian foods. Using recipes from her mother in south India, she experimented in the kitchen for a few hours each day. On a whim, she advertised $5 box meals on justindia.com, a Web site based in the San Francisco area that no longer exists. “That was the only time I ever did any advertising,” she said. “The very next day I got a few phone calls from people ordering the boxes, and from then on the word spread like wildfire.”

Mrs. Srivathsan’s business grew so fast that a few months later she decided she could no longer run it from her home. “It began as me cooking out of my kitchen, but since there was such a demand for it, I had to make it a legitimate business with a tax ID number and a rented kitchen,” she said.

Because she wanted to reach a wider market and knew that Indians generally favored cuisine from their region, she hired cooks from various areas in India, including Gujarat, south India and Punjab. Today, customers can click on her Web site, annadaata.com, to view a menu for the coming week. After choosing from among a vegetarian ($7), a nonvegetarian ($8) or a south Indian meal ($8), they place orders over the Internet and pay with credit cards.

Uh, anyone want to start this up in D.C.? Pleeease? There’s only so many times that I can stomach Chipotle/Potbelly/Subway/Raisin Bran for lunch and like the people quoted in the NYT article, it’s just not possible for me to cook. Proper South Indian food requires time, discipline and a devotion to process that I can’t muster right now and I’m not a fan of shortcuts (my mother told me this weekend at our family reunion that if she ever caught me availing myself of something like this, she’d pinch my thigh so viciously I’d need a skin graft). Owww.

Srivathsan sums it up perfectly:

At the end of the day I just wanted the basic Indian food I had grown up with.

Werd.

anna at 09:15 AM in Food, Humor · 129 comment(s) · Direct link

March 21, 2007

Cricket: Farewell, My Aloo

…wherein Whose God is it Anyways? inspires a second cricket post in a row!

The education of my cricket-ignorant kundi continues; I shall torment you with my progress, much like a toddler rushes back to a parent to exclaim, “I did it in the potty!” Like aforementioned kid, I, too would like a cookie and a pat on the head. Thanks, you’re the best.

So. WGiiA left a comment on my last World Cup post which piqued my kitten-like curiosity:

ok. just got very emotional seeing inzi get out and leave the field for the last time in an ODI. he deserved better circumstances under which to leave. [link]

I immediately assaulted consulted one of my cricket tutors, the one who kindly told me a bedtime story via speakerphone last night which starred Sachin Tendulkar— look, when one runs out of Ambien, one reaches for desperate alternatives— and expressively typed “?” in his GChat window. I didn’t expect to like or care about what I’d learn, but I wanted to find out more nonetheless, if only because I’m a sentimental wench and anyone’s last __ always makes me a bit verklempt.

I was told that the Pakistani captain was retiring and that because his team will not move to the next round, this would be his last opportunity to play cricket. At this, I became a typical sorority girl and murmured, “Aww—” but before I could tack more unnecessary “W”s on that cliched reaction, I learned even more. “Inzi” was a complex figure, the type who owns my attention; just as I was ready to dismiss him for being a PUNK at the Sahara Cup (you can’t assault a fan for calling you “Aloo!”), I learned that he also refused to back down from bullshit accusations leveled by racist umpires (yay for walking your team off the field…or…um…not coming back on the field after tea…whatever, the protesting is still hot).

Then, when I discovered that the klansman who inspired that dramatic gesture had been banned from hating on Asian teams, I was hooked. But. I’m still going to learn how to pronounce “O mote, sidha khara ho. Mota aloo, sara aloo!” or whatever it is he gets heckled with…like attracts like, and I’m a bit of a punk, too. :)

No wonder you all love cricket so much! This is fun! :D

::

Anyone know where I ganked the caption from, i.e. what song I pilfered in an attempt to be clever? I’ll give you a hint; I’ve seen the movie whose soundtrack it is a part of over 90 times. Wot? Not enough of a hint? Your bad. :D

anna at 07:03 PM in Food, Humor, Music, Sports · 102 comment(s) · Direct link

No, Not Like the Thing for When it Rains

Siddhartha’s post on lovely lime pickle got me thinking about my favorite. Behold: The Amazing Ambarella!

Before

After

Other names for this fruit and close relatives are Otaheite apple, Tahitian quince, Jamaica plum, golden apple and wi…The tree grows tall, reaching almost 20 m (60 ft). The fruit, which is popular in Asia, is plum shaped, sweet-sour and eaten at all stages of ripeness. Its distinguishing feature is a spiny seed. The spines toughen as the fruit matures, so that when eating conserve made from the almost-ripe fruit, the sweet flesh should be carefully sucked from the seed to avoid an unsolicited lip-piercing or a tough fibre stuck between the teeth. In the unripe stages the green skin is peeled with a knife and slices of the firm, pale flesh dipped in chilli powder and salt before being relished by street-side snackers or school children. Unripe fruit is also cooked in chutneys. As the fruit ripens it becomes yellow to orange in colour and more fragrant and sweet, though still with a good percentage of acidity. It has been described as having a flavour like pineapple.link

I don’t think it tastes like a pineapple at all, but the rest of it is pretty accurate. I’ve never seen ambarellas for sale anywhere in the U.S. and the web didn’t have much except for these odd little facts:

• The word”Ambarella” is Sinhalese, ultimately from Sanskrit
• The Dutch seem to be remarkably interested in it
• The bark of the tree can be used to cure diarrhoea
• Some hi-def tech company apparently decided to one-up Apple in the fruity brand identity sweepstakes

In Sri Lanka, ambarellas are made into chutneys, curries, and pickles of all kinds. Cut a raw one up, sprinkle a little salt, sugar, vinegar and chili powder…oooh, heaven. My grandmother had a gigantic tree growing right over her house, and we’d visit her carrying buckets during the fruiting season. I’ve got strangely happy memories of eating peeled, uncut ambarella while reading a book, only noticing my bleeding gums (those spines are shaarrp) when my mother grimaced.

So does anyone else have memories of eating an ambarella? Maybe you call it by another name? Or (and this would be fabulous) you know where I could buy some?!

cicatrix at 12:49 AM in Food · 26 comment(s) · Direct link

March 20, 2007

The Great Achar of Wigan

Behold: The lime pickle. Not the chili pickle, the mango pickle, the garlic pickle, the eggplant pickle, or any other kind of pickle. And certainly not that abomination, the “mixed pickle.” This here is lime pickle, the greatest and more exalted of all the pickles.

Man, me and lime pickle go back a long, long way. You see, in all my mixed-up, tri-continental, ruthlessly secular upbringing, desi food always held its rightful place. Now we lived in France, not a major center of desi culture either then or now, and this was before the globalization of so-called ethnic gourmet cuisine made the basic spices and ingredients available in all the world’s major cities. But we made do, and the key to our survival, desi food-wise, was the one line of prepared foods, spice mixes and achars on the market, which was inevitably Patak’s. So there was always a bottle of curry paste around — not to serve as the sole ingredient, of course, but to accelerate the process. And whether the curry was prepared from a paste or from scratch, there was always lime pickle on hand to give it the necessary je ne sais quoi.

To this day lime pickle is one of the essential condiments in my refrigerator — that and Dijon mustard (the proper smooth kind, not the grainy stuff), a combination that I guess pretty much encapsulates the flavors of my childhood. I find uses for lime pickle that other people don’t have — or so I think. Except I know that now, as I confess to you that I add lime pickle to my tuna fish salad, a whole bunch of you are going to reveal that you do the same.

When I came back to the U.S. and started shopping at desi immigrant stores I was quite bewildered by the range of achars available, and the ever-growing number of manufacturers. I tried garlic pickles and coriander pickles and who knows what other kind of pickles, and found them ranging in appeal from heavenly to disgusting. Even within each type there is so much variation, in color and texture and smell, which you can often discern even when the vacuum sealed jar is still shut. There are pickles made in the U.S. and pickles made in the U.K. and pickles made at mysterious industrial parks all over India and Pakistan; South Indian pickles claiming additional properties that are indecipherable to my mongrel-Bong knowledge base; chunky pickles and pickles so smooth they seem to have been pureed.

I learned long ago to appreciate pickles other than the Patak’s of my childhood. But the sentimental connections linger. It was a pioneering brand and the first to make it big on the international market, even if the Guju-Kenyan owners of the Wigan firm had to drop an “h” from their name to make the pronunciation, if not always the taste, easier on the firangi tongue. Then a few years ago they had that classic family feud that ended up settled out of court. And now Patak’s is up for full or partial sale, for a reported GBP 200m, in order to raise capital to take it to whatever the next level is in the packaged and prepared Indian foods market. It even seems that Patak’s might be coming home, so to speak, as Indian conglomerate ITC is reported to have put in a bid. Apparently Heinz is also interested. Will we have a battle royal between Indian and American capital for control of the flagship achar brand?

Ah, for the artisanal pickles of our halcyon days. Anyone out there make their own achar? I’d be interested in learning how it’s done.

siddhartha at 07:02 PM in Business, Food · 111 comment(s) · Direct link

March 11, 2007

I’ll take the Calphalon Indian Wok

When my wife and I were trying to decide on new pots and pans last year, it was kind of hard to pick the right set. Not only were we confused by the all-clad versus the myriad types of calphalon sets, we wanted to get some nice “crockery” that would be good for cooking Indian food. Outside of the handy prestige pressure-cooker that I am slowly learning how to use, we couldn’t find any real options for fancy-shmancy cooking pots-and-pans specifically for Indian food. So imagine my surprise when I was perusing the most recent Williams-Sonoma catalog and found a whole section dedicated to Indian spices, Indian food-specific pots and pans, and Williams-Sonoma Kitchen recipes for a variety of different indian food items, including, samosas, chapatis, and even kheer (Indian rice pudding). Sure, my mom would kill me if she knew I entertained the notion of buying a 9 ounce, $39 set of spices, or a $13 dollar simmer sauce, but I appreciate that Le Creuset is selling a tava griddle, and that Cuisinart is uping the ante in the pressure cooker game. I must admit though, I am a bit confused by the Calphalon One Indian Wok (Wok, India?). My initial thought was that maybe it would be perfect for cooking tasty Indian-Chinese food like my favorite gobi manchurian, but the description in the catalog cleared it up:

“Based on the karahi, the traditional Indian wok commonly used for simmering curries and stews, stir-frying and deep-frying, this infused-anodized wok is ideal for recreating the favorite dishes you enjoy at Indian restaurants. Its interior sears and browns perfectly and develops the rich caramelized flavor essential for creating delicious pan sauces. Adapted from the karahi’s customary round bottom, this wok’s flat bottom makes it easy to use on Western stoves. Two beautifully shaped loop handles - inspired by graceful scrollwork on Indian architecture - allow you to carry the oven-safe pan to the table for serving in authentic Indian style.” (link)

sajit at 07:29 PM in Food · 18 comment(s) · Direct link

March 09, 2007

That curry smell in outer space

I received an nice email from a childhood friend this morning. He said:

I was thinking of your mother yesterday. It was International Women’s Day, and an Indian colleague was telling a story about her mom’s traditional role in the household as non-partner, non-decision-maker, etc, who sat on the floor while the men sat in chairs. I thought of your apartment, which always smelled like tasty traditional Indian food. But I also knew your mom as a successful professional and strong head of household. It just got me thinking and reminiscing, and was a nice daydream to have.

In an odd way, what stuck out to me was his mention of smells. We grew up in the same apartment building, and played together a fair amount as young kids. So if he says that our apartment had pleasant aromas associated with cooking, I believe him.

Still, despite the strong association between smell and memory, for the life of me, I can’t remember what foods my friends’ apartments smelled like at all. I recall plenty of other aromas from my childhood, many of which are about food, but none of them are about residences smelling like the foods people ate there. Go figure.

It’s a conversation we’ve had here often. We’ve talked about that curry smell and how meat smells create vegetarian self-segregation. It repeats elsewhere too. One of our (non-desi) readers remarked, on her own blog, that she was puzzled as to where the persistent pleasant smell of Indian food was coming from, only to realize that it was her.

Still, a story from a week ago will, I think, elevate this debate. Sunita Williams, the hadesi astronaut, has desi food in her “bonus container”:

Williams … has several Indian dishes in her bonus container, including Punjabi kadhi with pakora - vegetable fritters topped with yogurt and curry - and mutter paneer, a curry dish. The dishes are packaged to have a long shelf life in space. [Link]

Does this presage that curry smell in outer space? Honestly, I don’t think her fellow astronauts will care either what she or the cabin smells like, as long as she doesn’t repeat her most recent food accident which involved wasabi wafting weightlessly:

The spicy greenish condiment was squirted out of a tube while astronaut Sunita Williams was trying to make a pretend sushi meal with bag-packaged salmon… Since everything is weightless, spilled food is no ordinary clean-up challenge… “We finally got the wasabi smell out after it was flying around everywhere,” Williams told her mother this week … “We cleaned it up off the walls a little bit…” [Link]