Happy Belated Valentine’s Day, mutineers. Hope you lovely folks got all the flowers, chocolates and cards you deserve. I was doing a little post-celebratory research tonight on Valentine’s Day and came across a couple of interesting facts I thought you folks might like to learn a la our good friend, Wikipedia. For instance, did you know that American men spend twice as much money on Valentine’s Day than women? And that in Paris, there was a ‘High Court of Love’ established on Valentine’s Day in 1400 that dealt with crimes against women? And that the judges for that court were picked by women, based on their love poetry? Oh yeah, and finally did you know that in India, Hindu fundamentalists highly discourage the celebration of Valentine’s Day? Of course you do, you read SM. We’ve covered that in the past. Not to worry, Shiv Sena continued its anti-Valentine’s Day diatribes this year, although they were a little distracted. So many grievances, so little time… what’s a violent protestor to do nowadays? It’s gotten so there’s too many effigies to burn.

With most of their aggressive workers identified and picked up by the police ahead of the release of My Name Is Khan, Shiv Sena members have admitted that their annual Valentine Day protests will likely be low-key, if they happen at all.

Every year, Sainiks denounce the concept of Valentine’s Day and warn couples against celebrating it, but this year, they say, the agitation against Shah Rukh Khan and his movie are of more immediate importance. [Link.]

Perhaps they’ve turned their sights to virtual protests? Alongside the other factoids on Wikipieda, I came across this interesting new poster, which was uploaded on Wikipedia’s ‘Valentine’s Day’ this past Saturday. I thought SM readers would find it as amusing as I did.

Here’s a little song to get you through the next couple of days. :-) Happy Holidays!

(Related Post: Finally Indian Christmas Carols)

Eid Mubarak, Mutineers! There are two Eids that Muslims celebrate, one marks the end to a month of fasting and another marks the end to pilgrimage to Mecca, called Hajj. Today we celebrate the latter one, Eid-al-Adha. This Eid in particular is the one where a sacrifice is supposed to be made of a goat or cow (the meat is to be eaten later and donated), in remembrance of the story of Ibrahim being asked by Allah to sacrifice his son and his son being replaced by a goat.

It was for this reason, my friends and I joked around about how we needed an Eid goat. Easter has the bunny rabbit, Christmas has Santa Claus. But growing up as a Muslim kid in the U.S., we didn’t really have anything equivalent. I was always told Eid was my version of Christmas, but then, why did all the other kids get presents and we didn’t? As we got older, it seemed like the Eid goat would have been the perfect solution.

Thus, I had already goats on my mind when maitri tweeted the following “I Want a Goat” video [NSFW]. It’s promoting a program, I Want a Goat, where you can design and donate a goat to a village in India. The modern twist is that this video has hipster charm splashed all over it.

I realize the tie between this video and Eid is tenuous at best. I found the the song amusing and the cause seems legit. The project was started by a woman Debbie who volunteered in the village for seven months and saw a similar program run successfully in India. For only a $20 donation, you will be donating a goat to a village in Koraput. Why goat?

For tribal people who are landless, raising goats is a great alternative source of income. Families who breed goats can earn a good profit selling the kids in the local market. The extra income provides a safety net for families that can be used for things like medicine, food during lean periods and farm equipment.

Chaos. Every year my mother’s family in New Jersey carefully plans out a Thanksgiving Day menu and every year, without fail, everything falls apart. Today, I came in to find my 21-year old cousin in his pajamas, frying chicken and cursing up a storm. Beside him lay a pan of meatloaf, his entry in the informal cook-off between him and my little brother. (They both always win.) Moments later the smoke alarm rings out, someone’s casserole is burning. A burning smell fills the air. The sound sets the eight cousins under the age of 10 into a tizzy, they swarm around the kitchen like vultures. One pokes a finger into the gravy, another prods a pie. But they are easily lured away by the promise of another opportunity with the new puppy. Two hours later - and half a dozen near-mishaps later - the food is ready to serve 30+ hungry people. Turkey. Biryani. Mashed potatoes. Halwa poori cholay. Green bean casserole. Your typical desi Thanksgiving. Correction. Our typical desi Thanksgiving.

Happy Raksha Bandhan to those of you who celebrate it, from one who does not. Our family tried to introduce the custom once, when my sister was three, and there are some great photos of her crying and desperately holding on to the rakhi for dear life. There was no way she was going to give the sparkly object and mithai to her brother in return for a promise, merely oral, not even signed and notarized.

I imagine she also thought “I’ll fork over the tinsel you promise to protect me from you, you big bully! You got to stop bossing me around if you want the sweets. You’re not even big enough to protect me from anybody else, that’s mom and dad’s job.” And so the tradition never took hold.

When I got older, and my offer of protection was more credible, I realized that my sisters-at-large would be likely to take offense at my mafia-like offer of protection in return for tribute. After all, these were not simpering ladies, these were girls and women more than capable of kicking my kundi. If one of these women were ever to need protection, the best course would be to buy them a firearm and some range time and get out of their way.

The holiday also came across as both sexist and unfair. Why can’t I be weak and helpless and trade a trinket in return for protection? It seems like men are getting the worst deal since Indians sold Manhattan for a bunch of beads.

Today is Loving Day, the celebration of the anniversary of the appositely named Supreme Court decision ever: Loving vs. Virginia. It is because of Mildred and Richard Loving that miscegenation laws were struck down across America, and you can now legally have sex with and marry any member of the opposite sex, regardless of race, anywhere in America.

At the time of the Loving decision, 16 states had anti-miscegenation statutes, and over America’s history 42 states have enforced similar laws. Amazingly though, it took South Carolina until 1998 to remove the anti-miscegenation clause from its state constitution, and Alabama until 2000 to do the same!

Although there weren’t many desis in America before the 1967 Loving decision, they were affected by such restrictions as well:

Anti-miscegenation laws discouraging marriages between Whites and non-Whites were affecting South Asian immigrants and their spouses from the late 17th to early 20th century. For example, a Eurasian daughter born to an East Indian father and Irish mother in Maryland in 1680 was classified as a “mullato” and sold into slavery, and the Bengali revolutionary Tarak Nath Das’s white American wife, Mary K. Das, was stripped of her American citizenship for her marriage to an “alien ineligible for citizenship.” In 1918, there was controversy in Arizona when an Indian farmer married the sixteen year-old daughter of one of his White tenants. [link]

Such discrimination continued into the 20th century. Most desis were in California, which amended its anti-miscegenation statutes in 1931 to prevent inter-marriage between whites and asians. This could have caused problems for Punjabis married to Mexicans since desis had been classified as Asians under the Thind decision and Mexicans were considered white under California state law.

It is Mother’s Day. I was and am extraordinarily mothered; my family is full of remarkable women who love their children fiercely.

I love them back, especially my own mother, who among a great many other lessons, taught me to read. Last week, I read this in The New York Times (italics mine):

An 8-month-old baby, Kuberan, survived only because his mother somehow managed to breast-feed him until just hours before she died….

Early on April 21, [Sivadasa Jagadeeswaran] stepped into the boat with his wife and their two sons. Their eldest, age 4, was among the first to die. They threw the child into the sea. Then, his wife’s father died. Her two brothers jumped overboard, lured by the twinkling lights of what may have been a fishing trawler. His wife held on until the last day. She complained of thirst, but vomited when he gave her seawater. Soon, she was gone.

This afternoon, a single father to an only child, he cooed softly to the baby on the hospital bed. He gave him a bottle of milk. He checked to make sure his diapers weren’t wet. The baby giggled, oblivious to the misery around him.

I am not writing now to dissect the gruesome cadaver of this war. That has been done, and is being done, and will be done. The situation in Sri Lanka is complicated—so complicated. I am writing here because this family’s suffering, and its mother’s love, is not.

There’s a fascinating set of Hindu Nationalist Greeting Cards from the 1990s over at Tasveer Ghar, with an accompanying essay. All of the cards were made for New Years, and intended to be used used on Diwali and Vikram Samvath. My favorite two are below.

The card on the left is a Diwali card celebrating the first Indian nuclear bomb explosion, and yes, that is a lingam in the center of the explosion.

The poem at the back of the card tells the reader that “Today, the nation’s sleeping pride has woken up …. Shiva’s third eye has opened, and the World-destroyer has woken. … The nation’s sleeping pride has woken up.” [link]

The card on the right depicts “Mother India calling her sons to fight against capitalism, Islam and Christian missionary activities” [link]:

The primary dangers represented in this New Year card are cultural domination (Westernisation); the alleged threat to Indianness from ‘alien’ religious practices of Christianity and Islam (conversion and separatism), and the politics of economic globalisation (capitalism as colonising practice) [link]

You can imagine what they must think of Bobby Jindal.

It’s rainy and cloudy in NYC, and quiet in my apartment, but I’m determined to transform my morning into a Holi celebration anyway. How? By listening to this awesome playlist of Bollywood Holi songs.

The music is bringing back vivid, colorful memories of my childhood in Pune where I could hear music blaring over LOUDspeakers from the early morning hours to late at night. I’d stand in the balcony of our apartment with my sister and cousins and we’d fill up balloons with color water and drop them down on passersby. That was tame, believe me. In the opposite balcony, teenage boys would fill up buckets and pour out steady streams of red, yellow, green, and orange water! Below, people dressed in white shrieked in delight and emerged from the surprise bath with their hair, clothes, and faces completely soaked in all the colors of the rainbow. And, of course, there was the powder that, if you weren’t careful, would be smeared all over your face when you least expected it, getting into your nose, mouth, and ears. (Yes, bathing at the end of the day was always an ordeal!)

I’m not sure about Holi celebrations in the US, but in India, sales of the colored powder—which are mixed with starch and topia before perfumes and scents are added to give them a fragrance—are in the six-figure digits and grow at the rate of 15 percent per year, according to Reuters. In recent years, manufacturers have been responding to concerns about their safety (some contain lead) and expanding into the business of producing organic colors made out of fruits and vegetables.

During my college days, I helped organize a few Holi celebrations on campus. There was something immensely empowering about seeing a whole bunch of brown folks taking over one of the main quad lawns, playing loud Bollywood music (we even had a dhol player one year), dancing, and throwing colored powder all over each other. Sure, it attracted attention, but in those days (the mid 90s) when Indian students had less of a visible and active presence on the college campus, it was also an opportunity to share a unique cultural festival that transgresses religion with our peers and professors. By the end of the afternoon, the lawn would be packed with desis and non-desis alike and it was nearly impossible to recognize one another!

Although I don’t play much Holi these days (my celebration is limited to a few smears of color rubbed gently and affectionately on my cheeks by family members and vice-versa), I do miss the days of carefree abandon, masti, and rang. And to fill that gap, I turn to music which helps me relive my memories (until I figure out how to make new and better ones).

Even the Big B, who is not celebrating Holi in memory of the recent attacks on Mumbai, is aware of how closely the holiday is associated with “Rang Barse,” his signature dance and song from the film Silsila. Without it, this day is somehow not complete.

The Hindustan Times has a nice feature on musical Holi memories of various Bollywood music figures. What kinds of Holi memories do you have? Was it a festival you celebrated during your childhood or that you somehow celebrate today?

Hey y’all,

I appreciate your indulging my travel and jetlag. Here, without further ado, are the results of our V-Day contest. I was excited to see so many entries. Seems like you guys really got into it. This was hard to judge. Thanks so much for participating!

Some thoughts on my judging process. I read what Sandhya had written, and realized I was looking for verbal inventiveness and something that touched multiple emotions—not just funny, but funny and sad; not just angry, but angry and funny; etc. etc. How much did the entry achieve in six words?

This decided, I waded in. Now, before I announce the winners, a few comments on the other entries.

I know most of you were too busy yesterday celebrating the orthodox feastday of Saint Brigid of Kildare to think of anything else, but it was also the 20th anniversary of the fatwa against Salman Rushdie.

Back then Rushdie was already a literary hotshot, having won the Booker in 1981 for his second novel, Midnight’s Children. This was long before Padma, when Rushdie was newly married to Marianne Wiggins and could walk down the street without being recognized.

However, it was the 1988 publication of The Satanic Verses that really put him on the map, making him both notorious and a cause celebre all over the world, granting him immortality while putting his own body and that of others into mortal peril.

Although Rushdie had always courted controversy, having mocked Indira Gandhi, the Bhutto family, and American foreign policy in previous books, he claims that he had no idea what a hornet’s nest The Satanic Verses would stir up:

Rushdie … said “I expected a few mullahs would be offended, call me names, and then I could defend myself in public… I honestly never expected anything like this.” [link]

Instead the book was banned within a month in India, followed by Bangladesh, Sudan, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Thailand, Tanzania, Indonesia, Singapore and lastly Venezuela in June 1989. A large number of threats were made to bookstores in the US and UK. Daniel Pipes claims that “[t]he bombings meant that hardly a single bookstore sold Rushdie’s novel openly in the UK” [link]

A few hours ago, a mutineer who covers the Executive Branch sent me this:

For Immediate Release
January 25, 2009
STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT

Message on the occasion of India Republic Day

As the people of India and people of Indian origin in America and around the world celebrate Republic Day on January 26, I send the warmest greetings of the American people to the people of India. Together, we celebrate our shared belief in democracy, liberty, pluralism, and religious tolerance.

Our nations have built broad and vibrant partnerships in every field of human endeavor. Our rapidly growing and deepening friendship with India offers benefits to all the world’s citizens as our scientists solve environmental challenges together, our doctors discover new medicines, our engineers advance our societies, our entrepreneurs generate prosperity, our educators lay the foundation for our future generations, and our governments work together to advance peace, prosperity, and stability around the globe.

It is our shared values that form the bedrock of a robust relationship across peoples and governments. Those values and ideals provide the strength that enables us to meet any challenge, particularly from those who use violence to try to undermine our free and open societies. As the Indian people celebrate Republic Day all across India, they should know that they have no better friend and partner than the people of the United States. It is in that spirit, that I also wish Prime Minister Singh a quick recovery.

Incidentally, if you were unaware of the latest regarding the health of Prime Minister Singh, here you go (thanks, Manoje):

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Saturday successfully underwent a coronary bypass surgery at the All India Institute of Medical Science in New Delhi as doctors removed 10 blockages in his heart…

Dr Ramakanth Panda, the chief of the Asian Heart Institute in Mumbai, headed the surgical team comprising doctors that performed the beating heart surgery. The prime minister had undergone his first heart surgery in 1990 and then had an angioplasty in 2004. This week, he complained of chest plain and the angiography revealed 10 blockages, which prompted the doctors to opt for a surgery. [rediff]

I am ridiculously delighted to learn that the surgical team was headed by a panda. I love pandas.

For those who crave some learnin’ about the reason for the thoughtful press release:

I thought it would be cute and fun to do a “resolutions” post on December 31st, but I wasn’t sure how to approach it. After all, just asking you what you plan on not accomplishing in the new year seemed rather bleh. So, imagine my glee when I discovered a frothy fashion article about this exact subject with no less than 1.5 brown connections to exploit! Problem solved.

Via Vogue.com:

We asked some of our favorite women what they hope to do (or do a little bit better)—from family to food and fashion—in 2009.

I’ve only quoted about half of the resolvers here:

Vera Wang, designer “Work more and work out more.”

Venus Williams, tennis player “I think it’s time to give up leggings and add more prints to my closet in 2009. I also think it’s time for more accessories, but I want to avoid those big chunky pieces.”

While she is a tennis player, Venus isn’t our “0.5” connection. ;)

Chanel Iman, model “Step back into my closet and re-create the things I haven’t worn in a while and do wardrobe swaps with my friends. After the swap, you can go shopping for that one item that will make the trade pop. It’s kind of a green way to go.”

Sophie Buhai, designer, Vena Cava “Monochromatic fashion that feels elegant (but is almost boring) paired with an eccentric large metal necklace is what I am wanting to wear. As far as giving things up, I’d say it’s time to give up flashy designer bags. The new year and a new economy are all about buying vintage Ferragamo and Bottega on eBay.”

Coco Rocha, model “Wear more jackets. This is the time to bundle up, and a girl cannot have too many coats because it is what you are seen most in during the winter season.”

Marina Rust, contributing editor, Vogue “I know if I squeeze a lemon into a cup of hot water and honey every morning I will actually feel and look better. Maybe this year I will remember to do it.”

Tory Burch, designer “Keep things in perspective and not sweat the small stuff. I always try to focus on the big picture and remember if my family is happy and healthy, nothing is worth getting too stressed about.”

Chiara Clemente, filmmaker “Eat at home as much as I can. Maybe it’s because I am Italian, but you have to start with the basics. And that’s food.”

One of my little sister’s Air Force buddies in Colorado sent me an urgent email with the following important information:

I have been following Santa on NORAD via Twitter, to make sure my little cousins in every time zone got spoiled, but I managed to miss this part of his journey, so I’m grateful for the message. Maybe it all went down while we were distracted? Matters not.

Do you know why NORAD tracks Santa? It’s one of my favorite stories:

The tradition began in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. advertisement for children to call Santa misprinted the telephone number. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief’s operations “hotline.” The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check radar for indications of Santa making his way south from the North Pole. Children who called were given updates on his location, and a tradition was born…

In 1958, the governments of Canada and the United States created a bi-national air defense command for North America called the North American Aerospace Defense Command, also known as NORAD. NORAD inherited the tradition of tracking Santa.

Since that time, NORAD men, women, family and friends have selflessly volunteered their time to personally respond to Christmas Eve phone calls and emails from children. In addition, we now track Santa using the internet. Last year, millions of people who wanted to know Santa’s whereabouts visited the NORAD Tracks Santa website.

Finally, media from all over the world rely on NORAD as a trusted source to provide Christmas Eve updates on Santa’s journey. [link]

Isn’t that sweet? Fifty-three years ago, I’m sure Colonel Shoup and his staff could’ve done without the incessant phone calls thrown their way thanks to a printing mistake, but I love thinking about the moment when he realized what had happened and stepped up, and didn’t let a child down. What a mitzvah.

Slow blogging time as many of the Mutineers are traveling far and wide to celebrate the holidays with loved ones while I am stuck holding down the fort with only Rajni to keep me company. I would like to take this time to wish all of you a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Here in cold bunkers of North Dakota, holiday seasons pass rather uneventfully. Many books will be read. Movies will be watched. Rajni the monkey may toss a turd or two. And I suspect, with the cold weather, staying warm will be high priority. Maybe because the holiday season passes mutely in our home, I’m curious, how are you spending your holidays? Any particular foods or drinks that remind you of this season? Any fusion traditions that come up this time of the year? Or have you fought the snow storms and are spending your holidays in a warm tropical vacation spot? I’d love to hear how you plan to spend holidays.

From our bunker to yours - stay warm, safe travels, and wishing you and your family all the best for this holiday season!

I actually loved Heidi Klum’s Kali outfit that V.V. blogged about. If I was wealthly enough to afford putting together something like that I’d be all about it. My costume from this past Friday night only cost $15 and I had to make it myself.

Before you ask, nobody tried to open the access panel and rig votes (not that it wasn’t encouraged). So here is the deal. If you are a reader of this site and wore a costume on Friday night that is either related to the election or to anything with a desi connection (like Klum’s costume) then please email me at abhi [at] sepiamutiny dot com and I will paste the picture in this post. No, if you wore a sari that doesn’t count as dressing up. As for me, I’d hate to throw my costume out. I am wondering if on Tuesday I should just go stand really close to and in front of people, just to see what happens.

Thanks to Alex Carnevale at Gawker, I saw this today. Heidi Klum as Kali for her Halloween party.

What think you, desis? My initial thought was that I should be offended. Then I thought, why? Is that reasonable? People dress up as versions of evil a range of characters, including ones with religious connotations, every year on Halloween. And this Kali is a pretty awesome costume. Klum certainly pulls it off with panache. Maybe that’s easier if you’re twelve feet tall and a model. She’s got all the details—look at what’s around her neck and waist!

If you click on the picture, you’ll see a gallery that includes her husband, Seal. (Gallery from ohnotheydidn’t.)

UPDATED: Previous Sepia coverage of Halloween.

Here and here.

E pluribus unum indeed, from a proud American to all the rest of you on this holiday weekend:

Today is New Years for Hindus in Bali, a day they observe with total silence, fasting and meditation. The quiet is enforced by a traditional militia called the Pecalang who are the only ones allowed out and about:

Westerners open the New Year in revelry, however, in contrast, the Balinese open their New Year in silence. This is called Nyepi Day, the Balinese day of Silence, which falls on the day following the dark moon of the spring equinox, and opens a new year of the Saka Hindu era which began in 78 A.D. [Link]

Observed from 6 a.m. until 6 a.m. the next morning, Nyepi is a day reserved for self-reflection and as such, anything that might interfere with that purpose is restricted. The main restrictions are: no lighting fires (and lights must be kept low); no working; no entertainment or pleasure; no traveling; and for some, no talking or eating at all. The effect of these prohibitions is that Bali’s usually bustling streets and roads are empty, there is little or no noise from TVs and radios, and few signs of activity are seen even inside homes. [Link]

The silence is total, even amongst non-Hindus who observe it out of “respect.” Tourists are warned to make sure they walk their dogs before the quiet peroid starts so that they don’t cause offense:

Even tourists are not exempt; although free to do as they wish inside their hotels, no one is allowed onto the beaches or streets, and the only airport in Bali remains closed for the entire day. The only exceptions granted are for emergency vehicles carrying those with life-threatening conditions and women about to give birth. [Link]

Honestly, a new year that starts with total silence sounds kind of nice for a change …

On this day, in 1948, Sri Lanka declared independence from the United Kingdom (thanks, retorts). Oh, happy day.

Last night, in the bunker, while under the influence of very healthy snacks and very unhealthy beer at our Super Bowl Parrrty, our fearless leader Abhi spontaneously declared (read: shouted) that in order to honor the resplendent land, we’d hold host guest blogger Sugi hostage for another month.

Send thank you notes via our tip line— I know you’re already mentally composing one, because I’m giddy about Sugi, too. Let’s continue the party with something a few of you think cannot be done— let’s have a positive thread about Sri Lanka, free of acrimony and flames. What do you wish people knew about or associated with the pearl of the Indian Ocean? :)

I’m always a bit hesitant to write what might be viewed as a “personal” entry on these pages. I used to have my own personal blog for those types of musings but decided to give it up because of the pressures of a full time job and this blog. I also don’t want to be presumptuous and assume that the vast majority of SM readers care about my life (as opposed to my writings highlighting something of interest or importance to the South Asian American community). That being said, today is a holiday (when SM readership plummets for obvious reasons), and so I figured I’d get away with some personal blogging. Since many of you seemed to enjoy my previous entry about my arduous toils in my basement, I thought I would serve up one more entry based on the booty recovered from the nine tons of refuse we removed from down there over the last three days.

First off, I know some of you don’t believe me when I say I’m a Grinch. Do these pictures finally convince you? I could tell even at a young age that this new-fangled Santa Claus was an imposter:

Leave this one alone. He’s bad to the bone. (Age 1)

And Frosty? Please. The only large snowball I care to associate with is a snow cone with watermelon syrup:

Where is Frosty’s left hand?

[Photo found via Flickr]

If none of the above, feel free to add your own answer in the comments.

Recognizing the religious and historical significance of the festival of Diwali

That’s right folks. The House could not pass that Armenian Genocide Bill today. They are also wrangling with President Bush who is asking for another gazillion dollars for the war in Iraq using our children’s credit. But you know what they did take the time to agree on? That we should recognize Diwali. Hoorah for Congressional efficiency!

A congressional resolution recognizing the religious and historical significance of Diwali, passed the Foreign Affairs Committee of the House of Representatives by a unanimous vote.
The Indo-American community leaders and political activists who lobbied for it, reacted with praise and cautious optimism as bill now awaits vote in Full House of Representatives.

The bill, H.Res. 747, calls for the U.S. Congress to acknowledge “the religious and historical significance of the festival of Diwali” and was introduced jointly by Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) and Jim McDermott (D-WA).

“The Diwali festival is celebrated by nearly two million people here in the United States and many millions more around the world,” said Congressman Wilson soon after the resolution passed. “It is an opportunity for Congress to acknowledge the shared values of kinship, knowledge, and goodness celebrated during the five day festival.” He also called upon the full House of Representatives to take up the bill as soon as possible. [Link]

The question this year, like every year, is will Bush celebrate Diwali?

Full text of the resolution is below the fold.

Every year, at Ramadan, Hawk draws comics showing how his alter-ego is dealing with the challenges of fasting. These trippy comics are some of my favorites:

If you click on it, it’s the first in a sequence of Ramadan fasting themed strips.

Related posts: ‘Applegeeks’

Since today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day (y)aarr, I wanted to blog about Kanhoji Angre, an African-Indian who became the most powerful “pirate” of his era in the world:

Yaarrrrrr

Kanhoji … Angira[’s] …operations off the west coast of India developed into what was probably the most successful piracy endeavor of the 17th or 18th century. [Link]

He was the first pirate who dared to extort money from Indian and British shipping. In 1712 he seized the armed yacht of the East India Company’s governor and held it for a sizeable ransom. Several years later he repelled the British … using specially built gunships. His success drew pirates from India and Europe and by the 1720’s his captains commanded hundreds of well-armed vessels. By 1722 his repeated humiliations of the Company led to their cessation of attempts to destroy Kanhoji. [Link]

While Kanhoji is considered a pirate by the western world, he’s a national hero in India. The Indian Navy named a major naval base after him, and a memorial was due to be erected in his honor in Alibag. In the Indian narrative, he is “the great Admiral of Marathas,” Shivaji’s naval commander:

British historians have described Kanhoji Angre as a pirate, ignoring that he was appointed by the Maratha king. [Link]

Ganapati Bappa Morya:

An important festival honours Ganesha for ten days starting with Ganesh Chaturthi, typically in late August or early September. This festival culminates on the day of Ananta Chaturdashi when images (murtis) of Ganesha are immersed in the most convenient body of water.

Hindus celebrate the Ganapati festival with great devotional fervour. While it is most popular in the state of Maharashtra, it is performed all over India. The festival assumes huge proportions in Mumbai and in surrounding belt of Ashtavinayaka temples. On the last day of the festival, millions of people of all ages descend onto the streets leading up to the sea, dancing and singing to the rhythmic accompaniment of drums and cymbals.

In 1893, Lokmanya Tilak transformed the annual Ganesha festival from private family celebrations into a grand public event. He did so “to bridge the gap between the Brahmins and the non-Brahmins and find an appropriate context in which to build a new grassroots unity between them” in his nationalistic strivings against the British in Maharashtra. Thus, Tilak chose Ganesha as a rallying point for Indian protest against British rule because of Ganesha’s wide appeal as “the god for Everyman.” Tilak was the first to install large public images of Ganesha in pavilions, and he established the practice of submerging all the public images on the tenth day.[wiki]

So…one could say that Ganapati was quite mutinous. :) Extra celebrating is in order, I think. What are you doing today? Over the past three years, I’ve found that when some of you describe childhood memories of holidays which were important in your family, it’s as sweet as this. Speaking of sweet, eat a ladoo for me, would you? Thanks.

Take an extra long bath, put on your prettiest mundum neriyathum, look forward to some Kaikottakali and smile brightly— Mahabali is coming home, and we don’t want him to know we are forlorn without him.

What’s that you say? You have no idea what I’m talking about? Fret not, almost no one ever does. The tale of Onam and Kerala’s most beloved King is available for your edification, below.

The story goes that the beautiful state of Kerala was once ruled by an Asura (demon) king, Mahabali. The King was greatly respected in his kingdom and was considered to be wise, judicious and extremely generous. It is said that Kerala witnessed its golden era in the reign of King Mahabali. Everybody was happy in the kingdom, there was no discrimination on the basis of caste or class. Rich and poor were equally treated. There was neither crime, nor corruption. People did not even lock their doors, as there were no thieves in that kingdom. There was no poverty, sorrow or disease in the reign of King Mahabali and everybody was happy and content.

It may be noted Mahabali was the son of Veerochana and grandson of Prahlad, the devout son of demon King Hiranyakashyap. Mahabali had a son called Bana, who became a legendary king in his own right and became popular as Banraj in central Assam. Mahabali belonged to the Asura (demon) dynasty but was an ardent worshiper of Lord Vishnu. His bravery and strength of character earned him the title of “Mahabali Chakravathy” or Mahabali - the King of Kings.

Looking at the growing popularity and fame of King Mahabali, Gods became extremely concerned and jealous. They felt threatened about their own supremacy and began to think of a strategy to get rid of the dilemma.

…and obviously, that is why the bunker’s Malayalee Christian mutineer should post about it. ;)

Between Chachaji’s reminder and Ismat’s tip to our news tab (which lead me to this adoooorable picture on the left which I stole from Nirali’s The Daily), I was reminded to show some love to the most visible desis of all— the few, the proud, the hot, the turbaned. :D

The point is, with two Sardars in the bunker constantly bickering over who called which color (Ennis is really protective of his pink!) and bragging about whose dari smells best (we lost our impartial judge), it is incomprehensible to me that today should pass without commemoration from the mutineers. What could be more punk, more mutinous than a turban!

Now, yenjoy these three fast facts about today, as distilled from this BBC article:

1) The point of World Turban Day is to foster awareness.

2) “Traditional, hand-tied turbans” > “casual under-turbans and half-turbans”, i.e. don’t half-kundi it. Tie on a proper one, aight?

3) WTD is celebrated today because it’s the eve of Baisakhi.

Any questions? Kindly post them here, because Amardeep is better at turban-ing than I shall ever be. ;)

While some of our readers exchange well wishes today, PETA India reminds us that Easter, a day traditionally associated with searching for hidden eggs, isn’t a joyous day for everyone [via Nirali]:

The People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) in have drummed up a new campaign in Kerala. They want eggs banned in the state since they feel eating eggs amounts to committing murder.

“We are showing that eggs signify life and that we should not be eating eggs because chickens also feel the pain,” said Roshini D’Silva, PETA activist…

“Be it Sunday or Monday; don’t eat ‘ande’. From shell to hell” - these slogans will help gain publicity, especially when Easter is nearing. But are there any takers for the ‘anti-anda’ campaign?… [Link]

Have you ever noticed how PETA protests often involve some sort of nudity or semi-nudity? No word on whether or not the “chick” they refer to below was naked, but one can only imagine.

By having a human-sized chick emerge from an egg and distribute leaflets, volunteers People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) will seek to draw attention to the cruelty meted out to chickens in modern animal factories and to how people can help stop it.

Easter, a press note issued here said, is traditionally associated with Easter eggs. But PETA has a different and more humane idea… “Eggs are as vegetarian as your chicken tikka or mutton biriyani. They are apart of the chicken’s reproductive system. To produce eggs, the birds spend their entire lives in battery cages housed in dark, crowded sheds were they are treated as egg-laying machines. Baby birds have their beaks cut off with a red-hot blade. Young `layer hens’ are kept in complete darkness except at feeding time. [Link]

PETA India’s website also reveals that they recently had another tiger-in-a-bikini protest to bring attention to abusive circuses. Anyways, in a show of solidarity I am only going to consume vegetarian eggs on this Easter Sunday.

Chachaji’s beautifully kind comment inspired me to post this “aww-inducing” picture for Easter. It’s from the BBC, it’s a year old and it captures this moment I am contemplatively marinating in perfectly. This is the caption it had last year:

A young Christian girl holds a candle during Easter celebrations at midnight mass in St Mary’s Church in Secunderabad, India.

When I was her age, my little sister and I would have been attired similarly (to her and each other!) in fluffy Easter dresses, tied with bows, trimmed with lace. My dress would have been a different color if on Good Friday I had had the honor of “guarding” Christ’s tomb while holding a basket of flowers as a myhrr bearer, dressed in pure white.

In a few hours, I’ll be holding a white candle at a midnight service as well, though since I am not Catholic, it is never called “mass” (that’s what mutineer Vinod avoids, not me). Easter liturgy in the Greek Orthodox church is a thrilling experience; pure darkness will be illuminated by one, ten, and soon a thousand candles (in large cities like this, yes) which glow and move as the faithful make the sign of the cross, while singing “Christos Anesti” (Christ is risen).

I’ll tell you more if you’re interested, but for now, I must go get ready. Only amateurs show up at the Cathedral at 11pm thinking they’ll get to sit, not when it’s standing room only by 10:30. It’s going to be a very long night, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. To all who were thoughtful enough to wish me a Happy Easter, here and elsewhere- thank you. I’m lucky to know you.

It’s not just Good Friday today, it’s also National Tartan Day so greetings and felicitations to all you national tarts out there.

I’ve been waiting for this day all year, and have managed to store up a large number of desi angles for this story, most of which, oddly enough are Sikh. The bagpiper at right is easy enough to explain - bagpipes came with the British army all over the world. It’s just a great image, as is this.

But the connections go far deeper than just bagpipes. For example, there is actually a Sikh Laird in Scotland, Baron Sirdar Iqbal Singh, who commissioned his own family tartan:

Mr. Singh, 67, who lives in Little Castle, a turreted Elizabethan mansion in Lesmahagow, South Lanarkshire, and holds the title Lord of Butley Manor, Suffolk, said … “I remember thinking ‘I’m in Scotland, so why not have my own tartan?’”

The new plaid, which is on display at Paisley Museum, incorporates the Singh family colour of blue, yellow for peace, green to represent the landed gentry and red as a tribute to Gertrude, his Swiss wife. [Link]

Here is the plaid as registered with the Scottish Tartans Society.

This last weekend saw the Indo-Guyanese Phagwah/Holi celebration in the neighborhood of Richmond Hills, Queens. It’s a big deal:

The Phagwah parade in Richmond Hill is one of the biggest celebrations in North America. If it’s a warm day, some 25,000 people are expected to join the 2007 parade, according to reports. [Link]

Of course things were a bit different than they were in Guyana. Here you can only get messy in a designated area, not on the street:

Freedom in Guyana means color everywhere. In Queens, powders and dyes are restricted to the park. During the parade, police officers eyed the crowd warily, ready to confiscate bottles and packets of the rule breakers, of whom there were many. [Link]

Even this restricted celebration is a compromise on the city’s part. At one point,

… the city threatened to cancel the parade fearing that someone could introduce anthrax into the Johnson’s Baby Powder (the city did not say why someone capable of producing weaponized anthrax by the bucketful would want to kill a bunch of Guyanese). Richmond Hill community leaders protested, and a compromise was reached: people marching in the parade could douse each other but not the spectators along the route. [Link - note, that’s Preston!]

Using fears of anthrax in baby powder to forbid phagwah is around as reasonable as using fears that terrorists will spike green dye with toxins to forbid St. Paddy’s day. I’m glad somebody was able to talk the NYPD down from that ledge.

Preston has some great photos from the 2004 celebration, including the one below. You can see photos of this year’s celebration at the NYT.

Don’t believe uncles and aunties when they say that nobody celebrates Valentines Day in India. Not only is romance a bloomin’, but it has some help from unlikely quarters.

First, Shiv Sena is (again) offering to come to the assistance of lurv:

… hardline Hindu groups have threatened to marry off young couples meeting in public places like parks and restaurants Feb 14. [Link]

They will not manhandle or threaten the Valentines, or vandalise the greeting card shops tomorrow. “The lovers have mistaken Shiv Sainiks to be the heart-breakers. We permanently unite the hearts….” says Shiv Sena District President Gulshan Kumar.

If there is any opposition for the marriage of lovers from their family, Shiv Sainiks stand by them. But the couples should belong to Hindu religion. [Link]

The loophole in this plan is obvious though, leave your ID at home and voila! An entire town of Mary Joshuas and Jacob Abrahams out on dates! [Yes, I know the threatening to forcibly marry couples isn’t new - they did it last year as well]

This being India, mobilization is met with an apposite counter:

… two women’s groups, belonging to the Sawarna Samaj Party (SSP) and the Rashtriya Secular Manch (RSM), have decided to take on those threatening to oppose Valentine’s Day … the RSM has decided to form baton-wielding groups of women to dissuade Bajrang Dal activists from disturbing lovers Wednesday on the Valentine’s Day. These women’s wings have declared to provide the necessary security to citizens if the state government fails to do so. [Link]

I’m sure they will get a lot of calls for their service too — “Quickly! Send 4 or 5 women to the park by the IIT men’s hostel! There are couples being oppressed by the RSS Shiv Sena!” Who knew that crying wolf was a great way to meet women?

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who have been counting down to Wednesday all year long, and those who wonder why so many people are buying flowers for President’s Day. I count myself in the latter camp, having been single virtually every Vday that I can remember. So I watch with amusement as many of my friends work themselves into a lather because of the intense pressure to commemorate this day with precisely the right amount and kind of conspicuous consumption.

The mingled scent of love and desperation in the air can mean only one thing for desis these days, namely speed dating followed by quirky stories from the mainstream media. Here’s a NYT article about Muslim Speed Dating Meeting:

A few years ago the organizers were forced to establish a limit of one parent per participant and bar them from the tables until the social hour because so many interfered. Parents … alternate between craning their necks to see who their adult children are meeting or horse-trading bios, photographs and telephone numbers among themselves….

Mrs. Siddique said her shy, 20-year-old daughter spent the hours leading up to the banquet crying that her father was forcing her to do something weird. “Back home in Pakistan, the families meet first,” she said. “You are not marrying the guy only, but his whole family…” [Link]

I suspect journalists are tickled by this spectacle because to them speed dating is like the bar scene, but faster. So the idea that conservative parents endorse it is weird. Parents, on the other hand, see it as a faster way to set up little tea encounters for their children, but only wholesale instead of retail. And desis love a bargain!

Desi parents (especially Muslim ones, but I’m sure there are similar scenes in other communities) do make it pretty easy to be mocked:

One panelist, Yasmeen Qadri, suggested that Muslim mothers across the continent band together in an organization called “Mothers Against Dating,” modeled on Mothers Against Drunk Driving. [Link],

So who’s right? Is speed dating/meeting a truly chaste solution to parents’ worries, or is it the first step down the slippery slope to group sex and public handholding?

Mothers trade biodatas while their children speed date

When you think about it, there are many ways in which speed dating can go horribly horribly wrong. My favorite account of a speed dating disaster comes from Rupa:

R: So…what do you like to do for fun?
Another boring dude: I play online pokers. And I watch Indian movies.
R: Do you read books?
Abd: No. I hate it when authors, y’know, try to give their OPINION. I hate it when people try and tell me how to think. So I don’t read books.
R: So you just don’t think?
Abd: Yes. [Link]

Bored out of her gourd, Rupa turns … dangerous:

Towards the middle I just stopped asking questions, because I realized I totally, absolutely, fully did not give a shit. And that was when I decided to start making stuff up. I … managed to tell someone that I had a 9-year old son (“My family is extremely supportive”), that I had a gambling problem (“After I took out that third mortgage on my condo, my parents staged an intervention. Have you ever been to that casino in Gary, Indiana? They caught it all on tape”), but my favorite was when Natasha asked someone if he would have a problem with a woman who did drugs.

ABD#3: Just once in a while, right?
N: No…it’s pretty much everyday.
ABD#3: Well…I guess it’s not a problem. But you’d stop after marriage, right?
N: No. Absolutely not. I don’t think so.
ABD#3: Well..I guess that’d be ok. [Link]

So when I stopped laughing my kundi off, I paused to wonder whether or not there was any way speed dating could work. I would think that if you only have a few minutes to make an impression, the usual conversational gambits fall flat since they all depend on being able to talk long enough to get past the obvious (what you do and where you live) to the more interesting.

So, tell us. What worked for you? What didn’t? If you wont fess up to having done this, explain what you might do that you’re sure would work if you tried it. Think of it as a public service. Or public ridicule. Either one, really

Happy New Year to all of y’all!

One of my dearest friends has an Op-Ed in today’s Washington Post (page A29). Nitya, I’d be proud of you even if “Longing to Join in Christmas” hadn’t been published, but now that it has, Akka loves you even more, because obviously, like all good South Asian elders, my affection for you is directly tied to your achievements. ;) I can’t think of a more perfect post for today (so let me get out of the way):

Christmas is the season when you are most likely to find yourself on a street of beautiful homes with twinkling lights, warm fireplaces and happy families outfitted in festive holiday sweaters, only to be filled with a yearning to possess not just the house but the lifestyle inside.

For my whole Indian American childhood in the early 1980s, I wanted a Christmas tree that way. And it wasn’t for the presents. It was for the lifestyle.

I wanted the Santa Claus, I wanted the holly wreath and I wanted the jolly elves who toiled in a workshop all year long. I wanted the sleigh bell-wearing reindeer on my roof. I wanted the colorful stockings hung by the chimney. And I wanted the jolly fat man to wiggle down our (nonexistent) chimney before he ho-ho-hoed his way across the night sky in a triumphant journey back to the North Pole.

From the warmth of my Hindu home, I always longed for that good old Christian magic — and not a holiday like Christmas but Christmas itself. I wanted to belong to the classroom party hosted by homeroom mothers in Santa hats, to know the words to the holiday songs that everyone knew, to feel the evergreen anticipation that never faded or fell from branches needle by needle.

My immigrant father, who’d recently come to America as a University of California grad student, was a man of little sympathy and extra principle when it came to the wants and woes of my childhood.

On our News Tab SM reader Pallavi introduces us to the music of “Boymongoose.” They’ll be dropping their album, Christmas in Asia Minor, just in time for the Holidays:

1. Thanking You
2. 12 Days Of Christmas
3. Single Girls
4. Internet Dating (Radio Saffron)
5. Once In Rahul Dravid’s City
6. Oh Therapy
7. No More Brown
8. It Had To Be Said (Radio Saffron)
9. Hark the Herald, Angel Singh
10. The Worst Motel
11. Miss India (Radio Saffron)
12. We Are Wishing You A Merry Christmas
13. Think Of The Children

Here is a video of their version of 12 Days of Christmas. It’s an outstanding 4 minute waste of time (and the animation is solid):

Each Friday NPR’s Morning Edition features a StoryCorp Project interview. You may recall that I had previously blogged about an interview between a Sri Lankan American husband and wife. This morning’s interview featured a really cute story (only ~1 minute long) from a Sri Lankan woman who came to the United States in 1969. I recommend that you guys stop reading this post right now and listen to this clip first. For those of you too lazy to follow my recommendation I will give you the lead in below:

Two friends interview each other in Pittsburgh

When Juliet Jegasothy came to the United States from Sri Lanka, she had already heard many stories about what life was like in America.

“We came to America in 1969, we were just newly married, and we came to Brooklyn, New York.” Jegasothy recently told her friend Sheena Jacob.

“I was so terrified to even open the door, because I had heard all these horror stories about crooks, and gangsters, and guns, in New York.”

Jegasothy soon encountered an American tradition that she was not prepared for… [Link]

I realize that I am jumping the gun and that Halloween isn’t until next Tuesday. However, most of you have probably been invited to some Halloween party this weekend (unlike some grad student I know who will be writing alone in his apartment dressed up like a blogger) and if you are a procrastinating slacker like me you could really use some costume advice STAT! After the jump I will provide you with some last minute ideas.

WARNING There is some scary sh*t past this point.

Oy, I need to start having the intern go through your submissions. After innocently clicking “original” Sonia’s news tip about a Halloween costume she had seen, I clawed my big Mallu eyes out, AGAIN at all the inappropriateness I found. Owwww. Look for yourself, if you dare. ——>

Recently, I mentioned to mutineer SJM that since he’s moving back to DC and I have a costume in mind, we should plan to do something fun for St. Pumpkin’s day, even if all we can come up with is adding to the cluster#^@% which is Georgetown on Halloween. The black and orange holiday is huge around here. Thousands converge on M st, in costumes both quotidian and cunning. This pink outfit merits neither of those words; this is plain annoying. If I see someone wearing the schmata on the right on the same street as my beleaguered, yet beloved Amma’s Vegetarian, I might have to rip off my bamboo earrings (at least two pair), hand Salil my Fendi bag (but keep my bad attitude) and invoke the “Manish Vij-Anti-Exoticism” law of 2005 as I beat a kutthi down.

From the website which sells this…thing:

Adult Hindu Costumes - This Adult Hindu Goddess Costume includes a Hindu Goddess costume satin coined top, wrap skirt, Hindu Goddess costume chiffon drape & coined headpiece. The Hindu Goddess Costume is available in Womens Standard.

I know I don’t have to ask you to correct me if I’m wrong, but when coins are used like that, isn’t it more of a belly dancing thing? Or also likely, a case of mixing up continents? When my little sister and I were young, we learned and performed Greek folk dances in authentic outfits which were lovingly made by all the Grandmothers at our church to resemble classic costumes of Crete, Macedonia, Peloponnesos et al…some of those ensembles had coin headdresses and trim similar to what you see on our…um…Hindu Goddess here. It’s like they weren’t even TRYING to exoticize accurately. Sheesh.

But who cares about that— it’s on sale! Click here and you can save 20% by purchasing your Hindu Goddess Costume now (don’t forget to wear it with the retch-inducing nude pantyhose). For just under $32, you, too, can wear an outfit even Diwali Barbie wouldn’t touch. The best part? My wrath and beat down are FREE, especially if Mr. Walker is my other escort for the night.

In my obliviousness, I almost scheduled a meetup today. [Is it my fault that I celebrated Hanukkah more than Diwali as a kid?] To atone for this earlier oversight, therefore, I bring you the official Diwali greeting from the government of Canada:

“On behalf of Canada’s new government, I would like to extend my warmest greetings and best wishes to members of the Indo-Canadian community as you celebrate Diwali… Every year, this joyous occasion is celebrated by some one billion people of the Hindu, Sikh and Jain faiths around the world. And that includes some one million of our fellow citizens right here in Canada. Friends, as you gather with your loved ones amid a sea of flickering flames, please know that the thoughts of our government are with you. Over the years, the Indo-Canadian community has made a tremendous contribution to our great country. Your work ethic and commitment to family and community serve as an inspiration to all…Happy Diwali to all. Namaste. Sat Sri Akal. Thank you.” [Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada]

Why Canada? Well, Ottawa is closer to North Dakota than Washington DC is, but mainly it’s because Google News brought it to my attention, whereas I had to go rooting around for the American counterpart.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors up north, the White House celebrated Diwali with a party for the fourth year running, although Bush was away and so sent a written greeting instead. Here’s a description of the event:

The White House celebrated Diwali, the festival of lights, in the historic Indian Treaty Room in the Old Executive Building for the fourth successive year. More than 150 guests were in attendance, among them many prominent members of the Indian American community. President George W Bush, who was busy campaigning for his besieged Republican Party in Pennsylvania and Virginia, however failed to be there.

Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy Karen Hughes keynoted the event as chief guest, and Jay Hein, Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of the Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, lit the diya. [Link]

BTW, I’m pretty sure that’s the “Native American treaty room” and not the “Brownz treaty room” but I’ll take what we can get especially since Diwali did not merit an official proclamation unlike “Leif Erikson Day, 2006”, “General Pulaski Memorial Day, 2006”, “Gold Star Mother’s Day, 2006” or “National Character Counts Week, 2006”. But who am I to complain - the White House at least knew when Diwali is!

Related posts: A stamp of approval, White House celebrates Diwali, In Barbie’s Closet

UPDATE:

I realize I may not have been clear enough about this originally. The President was unable to attend Diwali celebrations at the White House in part because he was campaigning for Senator Allen’s re-election bid:

President Bush last week helped raise money in two of the year’s most controversial re-election campaigns, stumping for Republican Rep. Don Sherwood in Pennsylvania and Sen. George Allen in Virginia. [Link]

For the past few years I have dreaded the approach of Diwali. Why? Because my email inbox gets flooded with emails asking me to sign a petition so that we can have a U.S. Postal Stamp commemorating the Hindu holiday. As if a simple postage stamp would rid me of years of pent up post-colonial anger.

To: Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee, c/o Stamp Development, U S Postal Service, Washington, DC

Dear Ronald A Robinson,
Chairman - Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee

We are requesting you to issue a US postal stamp commemorating ” Deepawali”, the ancient and joyous festival of lights celebrated universally by Hindu and several other faiths, reflecting the unity and multi-cultural rich diversity of the people of USA and India.

Freedom of religion is a hallmark of United States of America. The U.S. Postal Service has befittingly honored Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Eid by issuing commemorative stamps depicting these festivals. According to former President William J Clinton, ” Deepawali” presents all of us with an opportunity to reflect on the many ways, the talent, the history and the traditions of the Indian people who have contributed to our national life and cultural heritage. President George W Bush, this year- even though he was traveling in Asia-, made sure that ” Deepawali” was celebrated in The White House and he sent personal greetings and felicitations to the community on ” Deepawali”… [Link]

Even our own Sajit spread the word in 2004, prior to the formation of the Mutiny. Manish reluctantly followed suit in 2005. Now a crack team of SAJA assembled journalists [led by Arun Venugopal] has finally provided me with the excuse I needed to ignore this stupid petition, guilt free. The whole thing is fake.

Today is Raksha Bandhan (or Rakhi), the Indian holiday where sisters are supposed to tie a bracelet around their brothers as a symbol of sisterly devotion. The basics of the holiday are at Wikipedia:

The festival is marked by the tying of a rakhi, or holy thread by the sister on the wrist of her brother. The brother in return offers a gift to his sister and vows to look after her. The brother and sister traditionally feed each other sweets.

It is not necessary that the rakhi can be given only to a brother by birth; any male can be “adopted” as a brother by tying a rakhi on the person, whether they are cousins or a good friend. Indian history is replete with women asking for protection, through rakhi, from men who were neither their brothers, nor Hindus themselves. Rani Karnavati of Chittor sent a rakhi to the Mughal Emperor Humayun when she was threatened by Bahadur Shah of Mewar. Humayun abandoned an ongoing military campaign to ride to her rescue. (link)

Though the holiday is strongly associated with Hinduism, in my experience it is somewhat of a secularized, “cultural” holiday both in India and the diaspora, where other religious groups participate. (I’m not sure if it’s absolutely universal — do Indian Christians and Muslims celebrate Rakhi? Is there Rakhi in Bangladesh or Pakistan? Based on this article, the answer to the second question is maybe.) Indeed, these days, it isn’t surprising to see Rakhi designs that contain references to Indian and western superheroes (check out this cool Spiderman Rakhi), alongside the more traditional designs.

In Haryana, a group of women tied Rakhis around trees, as an environmental gesture. (“Her other brother is a tree,” one bystander quipped.) Apparently the best-selling brand of Rakhis (“Laloos”) in the state of Bihar are named after the current Railway Minister, Laloo Prasad Yadav. (“But these Rakhis are only available on the black market!” the same bystander wryly noted.) And Indian PM Manmohan Singh recognized the holiday in a typical fashion.

In this Pride season, a salute goes out to all the organizations and individuals working for community-building, wellness and recognition of non-heterosexual desis. The queer community is one of the most vibrant sites where today’s culture of the desi diaspora is being developed, just as queer communities, by force or by choice, have blazed new trails for cultures through the ages. And I’m not just talking about better parties and clothes, though I’m certainly grateful for those elements. Over dinner a few nights ago in a group that included four “desi dykes” — one Muslim ABCD sister and her European partner, and a Hindu ABCD sister with her FOB Pakistani partner — I was moved by the way this assembly both reaffirmed and challenged at the same time any number of ideas about the subcontinent and its diaspora.

In a few days the Bay Area group Trikone holds DesiQ: From Visions to Action, a major conference for what the organizers call “the diverse South Asian GBT community and our allies.” The conference will be held on the UCSF campus and has the support of major sponsors like AT&T. The queer Tamil Sri Lankan-American performance artist D’Lo will host the gala on Friday the 23rd. The conferene immediately precedes San Francisco’s Dyke March and SF Pride parade.

The list of workshops to be held at DesiQ offers a powerful picture of the issues at play in the desi queer community. Some workshops are meant to be purely fun, which is great; others look like they will delve into the arcana of queer academic cultural theory, which is an acquired taste but cool for those who dig it. But most illuminating are the workshops with straightforward issue-oriented titles like:

• Marriage Equality in a South Asian Context: the Debates, the Issues
• Hidden Voices: The Lives of Queer Muslim South Asians
• Fuzzy Boundaries: Gender, Sex and Sexuality among South Asians
• Understanding the Psychological Needs of South Asian GLBT Clientele

The presenters include desi activists, academics, doctors, psychotherapists, artists and others. It looks to be one of the most exciting gatherings of desis around, and anyone who makes it to this and then hops down on Saturday morning to Los Angeles for ArtWallah is sure to emerge drenched in creative and mutinous desitude. The only downside is that you’ll miss a few World Cup games, though I am sure there will be a footie-watching caucus amid the DesiQ participants.

There’s a whole other post to be written on queer and allied desi academics’ contributions to thinking about the diaspora, and another on queer desis online, but there’s time for that. Just as Black history need not be confined to “Black History Month” in February, the conversation within the community about gender and sexuality need not be confined to the annual Pride season. Still, Pride is about, well, pride, and I’m proud of my sisters and brothers and gender-indeterminate siblings for the growth of their movement(s), their increased visibility, and their contributions to the ongoing desi conversation. Have fun y’all, and enjoy the season!

As some of you may know, today is the day that many across the world celebrate the birthday of Lord Buddha:

Buddha Poornima, which falls on the full moon night in the month of Vaisakha (either in April or May), commemorates the birth anniversary of Lord Buddha, founder of Buddhism, one of the oldest religions in the world. Notwithstanding the summer heat (the temperature routinely touches 45 degrees C), pilgrims come from all over the world to Bodh Gaya to attend the Buddha Poornima celebrations. [Link]

Sarnath seems to have been rocking on Saturday:

Click for a larger (more enlightening) picture

Sarnath — the site where Buddha ignited the light of knowledge among five disciples centuries ago was this evening bedecked with 20,000 diyas (earthen lamps).

Marking the 2550th Great Parinirvan of Buddha, this festival of lights started off at 1840 hrs today evening in the lines of Dev Deepawali — the evening when all 84 Ganga ghats of Varanasi are decorated with diyas.

While Dev Deepawali is held every year to mark the Hindu festival of Kartik Purnima, this evening’s twinkling delight coincided with Buddha Purnima at the world famous Buddhist pilgrimage of Sarnath. [Link]

Over 2500 years after the Buddha walked the Earth there is still proof all around us of his tremendous influence and teachings. As a matter of fact I am here to tell you that those Ipods which many of you cling to so dearly (I have never owned one) are like so passé. The hottest trend to hit the streets is the divinely inspired (and powered??) Buddha Machine:

The controls are simple: There’s a volume dial on top that doubles as an on and off switch, which is next to a headphone jack and a power adaptor input (the Buddha Machine also runs on two AA batteries). A red LED on the side indicates whether the box is on, and an adjacent two-way switch allows users to flip between recorded loops. It’s available in six different colors, but you don’t get to choose - they ship randomly to mail orders from online sites such as forcedexposure.com.

So what the hell do you use this thing for?… [Link]

Good question young one, but the answers that you seek in life don’t always come simply because you demand to know them.

I was mindlessly watching the mind-numbing local news of Los Angeles (it’s usually either a shooting or a car chase), and I did a double take. On my TV, there was a group of Sikhs parading on the streets in front of the Staple Center and a shot of Mayor Villaraigosa in a blue turban.[Google image has not been able to help me on this one, but trust.]

“What makes L.A. so special is that we come here from every corner of the Earth to participate in the American dream,” [Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa] said during a prayer service at the Los Angeles Convention Center, part of a celebration for Baisakhi Day, the India-based religion’s annual holiday of renewal and rebirth…Organizers said that as many as 15,000 Sikhs from throughout Southern California attended the daylong event, which included music, free food and a colorful parade through downtown.[link]

Busy weekend. Not only was it Sri Lankan New Year, Bangladeshi Bengali New Year, Thai New Year (with water fights), Easter, the Los Angeles SM Meetup, but it was Baisakhi Day as well.

L.A.’s Blue Turbaned Mayor

Baisakhi Day, which historically marks the year’s first harvest, commemorates a principal guru’s directive in 1699 that Sikhs “become protectors of the human spirit.” [link]

The Sadh Sangat of Sikh Dharma held its first celebration of Baisakhi in Los Angeles in April, 1970…Since the late 1980s, the Sikh Dharma Baisakhi Celebration has been held at the vast Los Angeles Convention Center, in collaboration with a network of Southern California Gurdwaras…This year’s Baisakhi theme is “We are the Khalsa - A Legacy of Service.”… To highlight that standard, this year Golden Temple Cereals, a socially and environmentally responsible company founded by Yogi Bhajan, will be making a presentation to the Los Angeles Mayor’s office on behalf of the entire Sikh Community of Southern California, and donating a truckload of Peace Cereals to the Los Angeles Food Bank. [link]

Yum, Peace Cereal. And a peaceful post 9/11 message at the parade to go with it…

“In the post-9/11 environment, the turban has gotten a lot of negative associations because of the images we’ve seen,” said Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa, a spokeswoman for Sikh Dharma International, one of the event’s sponsors… “The Sikh turban, from a values perspective, is synonymous with the core Bill of Rights.” [link]

Whatever your holiday of choice was this weekend, I hope it went well-!

Mr. Everything Comes from India breaks down the origins of the Irish flag:

Dressing up in color and molesting people while tipsy:

This Holi week	She must be Asian Irish

The official plant is a widely-available magical weed:

Bhang	Shamrock

More specifically, the Irish are like the Punjabis. One is a farming culture where people are warm, like to drink and like to fight. Its men are famed both for toughness and for being mama’s boys. The other sits around singing farmer songs in an unintelligible accent. It used to host a religion-based separatist movement and is now a magnet for outsourcing. I even know of several Irish-Punjabi marriages. No, nothing like each other at all

Éireann go Brách, chak de phatte and belated happy Holi!

Update: Check out these Irish-Indian fusion tracks: ‘Punjab Paddy’ by Gaelicstorm and Butterflies by conFusion (thanks, Saheli and niki).

Update 2: Post was accidentally deleted, taking the comments down with it. Mea culpa, sorry!

Related post: Holi Day munchies

I meant to post about this in a more timely manner, but a brown holiday I find somewhat romantic is commemorated every February 21st in Bangladesh; yesterday was Language Movement Day. Also known as Language Martyr’s Day, its point is to remember the protest made on behalf of the right to use Bengali as a national language:

Around 1950-52, the emerging middle classes of East Bengal underwent an uprising known later as the Language Movement. Bangladeshis (then East Pakistanis) were initially agitated by a decision by Central Pakistan Government to establish Urdu, a minority language…as the sole national language for all of Pakistan. The situation was worsened by an open declaration that “Urdu and only Urdu will be the national language of Pakistan” by the governor, Khawaja Nazimuddin. [wiki]

Now you’ll know why Bangladesh’s Shaheed Minar monument exists where it does:

On February 21, 1952, dozens of students and political activists were killed when the Pakistani police force opened fire on Bengali protesters who were demanding equal status to their native tongue, Bangla. The massacre occurred near Dhaka Medical College and Ramna Park in Dhaka. A makeshift monument was erected the same night by students of University of Dhaka and other educational institutions, but soon demolished by the Pakistani police force. [wiki]

The movement spread to the whole of East Pakistan and the whole province came to a standstill. Afterwards, the Government of Pakistan relented and gave Bengali equal status as a national language.[wiki]

First they won respect for their language, then in 1971, they won their freedom.

About a half-dozen tipsters, starting with Seema, wanted us to point out this little tidbit in a New York Times Op-Ed published this morning:

Give me some tongue baby

SINCE it’s Valentine’s Day, let’s dwell for a moment on the profoundly bizarre activity of kissing. Is there a more expressive gesture in the human repertoire?…

All across Africa, the Pacific and the Americas, we find cultures that didn’t know about mouth kissing until their first contact with European explorers. And the attraction was not always immediately apparent. Most considered the act of exchanging saliva revolting. Among the Lapps of northern Finland, both sexes would bathe together in a state of complete nudity, but kissing was regarded as beyond the pale…

If kissing is not universal, then someone must have invented it. Vaughn Bryant, an anthropologist at Texas A&M, has traced the first recorded kiss back to India, somewhere around 1500 B.C., when early Vedic scriptures start to mention people “sniffing” with their mouths, and later texts describe lovers “setting mouth to mouth.” From there, he hypothesizes, the kiss spread westward when Alexander the Great conquered the Punjab in 326 B.C. [Link]

Well who would have thought? In addition to writing the Kama Sutra we can now take partial credit for kissing! The Hindu right-wing activists are going to go into shock when they see this (or at least they will try and keep it out of California textbooks). For the rest of this week I plan to honor my forefathers by exchanging as much saliva as possible. Who is with me?

In Jharkand, saffronists have hit upon a new way of ‘encouraging’ marriage: shotgun (or, in this case, lathi stick) weddings. But raksha bandhan is months away:

Hindu right-wing activists in Jharkhand claimed to have married off five romancing couples on Valentine’s Day Tuesday, saying they were celebrating the day even though it was against Indian culture… At the rock garden, three couples were spotted. Two of them were made to move around a banyan tree and take an oath of marriage - in a symbolic wedding…

Activists of the Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad (ABVP) even forced a couple to tie the symbolic brother-sister thread of rakhi when they refused to get married. [Link]

Some students were flippant about it:

The move is now being welcomed by courting couples, who are thanking the moral police for adding velocity to Cupid’s arrows. “It is indeed good news. We must thank them for being concerned about our marriages,” said Ruchika, a student of a management institute in this Jharkhand capital. “My parents will finally come to know about my love.”

Priya, an engineering student, echoed similar sentiments, saying: “I hope they stick to their word and ensure my marriage with my boyfriend…” [Link]

But the saffronists couldn’t even stay consistent:

… even Saamna, the [Shiv] Sena’s mouthpiece, could not resist cashing in on the spirit of love by publishing an article on possible gifts to buy your beloved today. [Link]

In Delhi and Srinagar, more political theater, yawn. Funny how the saffronists are a mirror image of Muslim fundamentalists:

About 50 Hindu activists wearing holy saffron-coloured scarves held a noisy protest in a popular market near the Delhi University campus… They burnt greeting cards which they were carrying and shouted “Down with Valentine’s Day”. [Link]

About two dozen women separatists, veiled in black from head to toe, rummaged shops and burnt Valentine’s Day cards in Srinagar, Kashmir’s summer capital… “Valentine’s Day spreads immorality among the youth,” Asiya Andrabi of the Dukhtaran-e-Milat (Daughters of the Muslim Faith), a group of women separatists, said in a statement. [Link]

On this unholiest of days, I thought I’d share 2.0 passages about coupling from 1.5-gen books. Lavanya Sankaran takes joy in the idea that dilly-dallying men deserve what they get in The Red Carpet:

And certainly, a convent-educated accent was an asset… This involved, primarily, keeping our knees together… Innocent of the depredations of Man (or Boy), at least until their parental duty was done. Delivered, one girl, unsullied, to the marital bed. Her price far above rubies…

For a decade, it seemed, [the bachelors] had been festooned with women, all sorts, from the cute, the silly, the please-domesticate-mes, to the independent, the fiery, the I’ll-sleep-with-but-won’t-love-yous, and further beyond, to the Plainly Bizarre. And they had frolicked and gamboled with happy abandon, and no awareness of the fate that quietly awaited them…

All those women, those sillys, those feistys, those Saturday-night mainstays, had simply vanished. All of them. Together. Birdlike, in a great migratory movement… these chicks had flown. They had married, dispersed, dehydrated. [Link]

In Moth Smoke, Mohsin Hamid’s East Village/Karachi romance ends more happily:

I lost my virginity in New York, twice (the second one had wanted to believe he was the first so badly)…

The scene is the East Village, a little before midnight, on the steps of a fourth-floor walk-up on Avenue A. The date is important… Halloween… So there I am, trudging up the steps… when I see this cute desi guy in a white shirt and black trousers, looking ridiculously out of place but very comfortable at the same time… He catches my eye as I pass and says “Hi,” but I ignore him, because the last thing I want to deal with tonight is some conservative boy from the homeland with nothing to say…

But at some point (you saw this coming) I find myself on the fire escape with the brown boy I’d seen before. We’re dancing, just the two of us, and his name is Ozi and he’s wickedly sexy, and what the hell, we spend the night together…

He proposed during a snowstorm in March, looking cold as only a Pakistani man in America can… Before I knew it, I was showing him off at South Asian Student Association parties, enjoying the horrified jealousy on the faces of my prim and proper colleagues. Yes, Mumtaz, that slut, had bagged herself a prince, which meant there was one less out there for them…

The summer after we graduated… we were married in Karachi by the sea. [Link]

I wanted to tell you about an cool V-day haiku contest that my friends over at Breakupgirl.net have put together (yes, there are prizes). Being me, I’m naturally informing you about it on IST, right up against the deadline. Submit your best valentines day efforts here, according to these rules:

The 411 on 5-7-5

With this contest, we honor the noble Japanese poetic form — the demure yet powerful haiku — as the only literary vehicle with the suppleness to master the depths and breadths of woo and rue that blossom at this black/magic time of year. Turn your insights and/or outrage into subtle poly-syllabic philosophies that follow this timeless equation: 5 + 7 + 5 = 17. To demonstrate:

First, five syllables.
Then, seven in the middle.
See? That’s seventeen!

Entries will be accepted until Saturday, February 11 at 12 midnight, and the winning haikus will be unfurled on February 14 for all to see. [Link]

Submit your entries to the contest and leave your submissions in the comments as well. I’m playing around with a few desi-themed ideas:

Her dal was tasty
Hungrily, I married her
It was all takeout

Spicy! Exotic!
Was this a personals ad,
or a Times story?

Not great, but I just came up with them now. You might find greater inspiration by looking at some of the past winners:

February 4, 1948: The Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka gains its Independence from the United Kingdom. Respect.

Happy new year or, as we say here in North Dakota, (smack) ‘More rum, in-tern!’ Inspired by a Rushdie fable, I’m spending a couple of days traipsing around Moorish country without a Moorish girl.

I have lost count of the days that have passed since I fled the horrors of Vasco Miranda’s mad fortress in the Andalusian mountain-village of Benengali; ran from death under cover of darkness and left a message nailed to the door. [Link]

True melodrama. Take that, writing workshop.

Orangedrinks. Lemondrinks. CocaColaFantaicecreamrosemilk… In pointy shoes and a puff… With his Fountain in a Love-in-Tokyo… [Link]

May all your Orangedrinks Lemondrinks dreams come true.

One of my favorite holiday traditions is our annual national battle about the character of the nation. Are we the Christian nation of the “first settlers” or the secular nation of the barely theistic founding fathers? Since 20% of Americans do not identify as Christian, how do we find common ground with the rest of America?

One way is through holiday hymns/song. Let’s face it, many traditional hymns and carols are as catchy as Puritan cuisine is tasty. I went to an elementary school where our annual assembly had both Christian and Jewish songs; the nation’s capital goes one step further with the annual interfaith concert at Washington National Cathedral:

Hindu and Sikh hymns echoed through the Washington National Cathedral as nine world religions filled the building, a usual venue for Presidential prayers … Led by Washington’s Guru Gobind Singh Foundation (GGSF) executive director Rajwant Singh, 35 Sikh men and women in spotless white with saffron satin scarves around their necks said opening prayers at the 26th Interfaith Concert held by the Interfaith Conference.

The Kuchipudi Dance Academy represented the Hindu faith as its troupe presented a recital in honour of Lord Shiva.

The Buddhists also took part in the event for the first time, with three Sri Lankan monks from Washington’s Buddhist Vihara joining the annual celebrations recently.

More than 1,400 members in the audience also enjoyed interludes of tabla maestro Rajinder Pal Singh, a student of Alla Rakha and Zakir Hussain.

The annual concert aims at bringing together Islamic, Jewish, Hindu, Protestant, Roman Catholic, and Sikh communities on a common platform. [Link]

I’m waiting for William A. Donohue to protest against this invasion of a Christian space. After all, if this guy finds the White House insufficiently Christian, what will he think of Hindu dancers in the National Cathedral?

Sixty-four years ago today, Japan kicked off its Pacific Ocean campaign by attacking Pearl Harbor. The Pacific war led to the starvation of three million Bengalis by the British and the bombing of Calcutta. It also paved the way for Indian independence.

The Japanese raided the Howrah Bridge in Calcutta, attacked British ships in the Indian Ocean, and occupied parts of Assam and the Andaman Islands. Indian forces under British command fought back in Burma, and British bombers based in Bengal raided Japan.

Mitsubishi Zero: Suicide bomber

Several areas in India anticipated Japanese bombing:

Their air force bombers had already dropped a few bombs on Calcutta, the biggest city of India at that time, and on the naval station at Vishakapatnam on the east coast. There was a bomb scare in Madras city which was to the south of Vishakapatnam on the east coast. There were blackouts and air raid practices in all the big cities of India, including Bangalore City, where an aircraft factory was being built up with the help of the Americans… [Link]

A survivor recalls the bombing of Calcutta:

I remember the bombing of Calcutta by the Japanese, the target being Howrah Bridge. That morning had been a lovely clear and breezy day and we were flying kites…Our hero was an Indian Air Force Hurricane pilot who, night after night, shot down Zeros

We all had duties to perform when the siren would sound, such as putting a small bag with a piece of black rubber, Vaseline and bandages around our shoulders. We had no fridge in those days and drinking water was stored in earthen jars on the veranda. When the siren sounded that day, my parents brought in the water jars and my sisters and I ran downstairs to the ground floor and hid in the air raid shelter… When the “all clear” siren sounded we would leave the shelters and look at the damage… The bombing of Calcutta led to an exodus of residents - Howrah and Sealdah Stations being packed with people trying to get out. [Link]

I loved this suggestion from the thread on Chrismahanukwanzakah:

All Mixed Up - i sort of have a soft spot for christmas trees… i think they’re fun. when i have kids i’m going to decorate my tree with Om ornaments and little sita, ganesha, and ram ornaments…and my tree is going to be topped with a flute playing krishna. [okay i probably won’t do that…but it was a fun picture to paint in my head].

Not mixed up after all - I actually did that last year. Put up a tree with ornaments and bulbs and topped it with a silver idol of Krishna playing the flute…My “Krishmas” tree :-)

Yes, despite what you might have thought after reading my grumping about the made-up “discrimination” against Christians, I celebrate Christmas and have done so for years. My mom claims that when we were very little, she would give us gifts on Diwali instead (supposedly some people do this for Pancha Ganapati), but we would cry at Christmas because we didn’t get presents then. As they couldn’t easily afford two gift-giving seasons back then, my parents opted to assimilate a bit more and get in on this Christmas thing, and now that they’re better off, we go for the full materialist extravaganza of gifts, food and travel.

But thanks to William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights and the man who got Wal-Mart to fire the poor schmuck who knew about Christmas’s pagan origins (and now is launching a boycott of Land’s End), I might have to give up Christmas.

I came over to Sepia Mutiny to write about this and discovered that something similar already is being thoroughly canvassed in comments here. Ah, well.

Recently I’ve marked the onset of each winter by complaining about the people who complain about the de-Christianization of Christmas. My last post on the matter focused particularly on the bizarre spectacle of some Christian extremists who are offended when Wal-Mart fails to greet them with Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays, and who assume they are being discriminated against because Christmas, unlike Kwanzaa and Hannukah, didn’t have a section separated from Holiday on the giant retailer’s website. I found their desire to have their religion associated with trees and Barbies very bizarre, concluding “Personally, I’d be annoyed if paintball places declared themselves to be celebrating Holi.”

Then I stopped and thought about whether I’d feel differently in India, where I’d be in the majority rather than in a small minority. Maybe there I’d feel that something was being taken from me, that my place in the majority was being disrespected, if the day before Diwali, someone merely wished me “Happy Holidays” in an attempt to be inclusive of Eid (which this year came the day after Diwali). Can anyone who’s been in India more recently than I recall instances of Hindu holidays being traditionally tied to secular items, and Hindus’ being offended when the secular items were dissociated from the religious holiday?

Speaking of commercial acknowledgments of faith, I’m not offended, but I am a little puzzled that my planner notes Christian, Jewish, Muslim and even Buddhist holidays, but nothing of Hinduism. I think the maker, Quo Vadis, is based in Canada, but surely there aren’t so many more Buddhists or Muslims in the Great White North than there are Hindus?

UPDATE: Here’s one way to get a multicultural holiday — put bindis on Mary and Joseph.

I am a total Scrooge when it comes to the holidays. Halloween is the last great day of the year in my opinion. After that I just hold on until Martin Luther King Day. It's the usual rant of course. I hate that the holidays are all about consumerism. I could use a new digital camera because mine broke last week, but that is the extent to which I will participate in these holidays. Virgin Mobile is trying to sell some cell phones during the holiday crunch. In fact, they have decided that they will create a brand new holiday called Chrismahanukwanzakah that will maybe appeal to...well I don't know, agnostics maybe? There is no holiday for agnostics after all. Their ad campaign includes a cast of characters that can only be described as freaks. This includes a Hindu Santa Claus, and a pair of Hasidic Jews that sing about a dreidel made out of meat that they will eat and poop out. If you see the commercial on TV you will see that the Hindu Santa Claus plays to stereotype. The clip on the website is even lamer. Here are the lyrics:

Silent Chrismahanukwanzakah night
Holy Chrismahanukwanzakah night
Chrismahanukwanzakah is come
Chrismahanukwanzakah is bright
My new phone vibrate and tickle me
Holy guacamole it play .mp3
Can I have some chutney please
Can I have some chutney please

You know, cause a Hindu Santa Claus would be a chutney eater. Ba humbug.

Update: See last year's ad campaign.

Gobble-chi gobble-chi gum gum.

Related post: O Henry

Is there anything schlockier than this fiber optic, snow-flocked Om tree? For just 50 quid, you get the same emotional, uh, ‘appeal’ of an interreligious wedding where not only are both religious ceremonies conducted simultaneously, they’re physically merged. I’m thinking a pandit with a yarmulke. Syncretic-alicious!

(via the Calcutta Telegraph)

Related posts: Krishna for Christmas, Happy Diwahanukwanzidmas

Today is the 536th birthday of Guru Nanak Dev ji, the founder of the Sikh religion.

Sikh pilgrims celebrate the anniversary of the birth of Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism, in Nankana Sahib, Pakistan.

Here is an article about the life and contributions of Guru Nanak.

Here is a description of how the event is usually celebrated.

Here is a very nice slideshow of images from the celebrations in India.

What might have happened if Columbus got it right…

This next post is going to be difficult for people to believe. It was difficult for me. The very fact that I am writing this post may put my life in danger. Many things that I do for our readers puts me in danger though, so that is okay. Somewhere in the heart of Oregon lies a secret society restaurant. Witness:

Anyone who is familiar with secret societies such as the Freemasons, Priory of Scion, Knights Templar or has read Dan Brown’s book The DaVinci Code will be familiar with the concept of sub rosa. What goes on here, stays here.

The Sub Rosa restaurant began in a cottage on our property that was once the caretakers quarters for a 90 acre orchard here in Dundee. It remains primarily a workshop for Talisman Stoneworks, a stone carving studio though we do whip up some tasty meals from time to time.

During the day when the workshop is humming, you can drop in from noon on for a bowl of spicy soup; an onion tart; some tasty dessert; a beer or a stiff shot of grappa. Dust flies. Music pulses. Food smells waft into the air creating a exotic blend of workshop meets hole-in-the wall cafe meets underground radio station and WiFi hotspot.

At night - well, the ‘restaurant’ is rarely open. This is an invitation only gig. If you know us or know someone who knows us - you’re in. Otherwise you just get to read about us on this web site.

I just got the shivers. It is actually kind of sadistic what these people do. They prepare virtual menus that will bring tears to your eyes, and perhaps affect your nether regions with the skills of the Merovingian. Your tongue is not allowed to taste however:

You can download recipes and music and order a t-shirt but that’s about it. We’re more a state-of-mind than an actual place to eat.

Then why, dear God why, did they send the following menu/recipes into my inbox? This is beyond even my considerable culinary skills.

Thanksgiving Dinner:
Appetizer: Curried Nuts
Greens: Gujarat Green Beans
Starch: Horseradish Mashed Potatoes
Curried Yams with coconut milk
Turkey: Cumin and Coriander spice rub
Condiments: Cranberry Chutney
Cucumber Raita
Stuffing: With raisins, cinnamon, almonds, celery and of course, bread
Dessert: Chiffon Pumpkin Pie with crystallized ginger galore
Garam Masala - Classic Indian spice mixture

Veterans day has its roots in Armistice day, the holiday that once marked the end of the “Great War” (WWI) on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 [Link].

Over 138,000 Indian troops fought in Belgium and France during World War I, many of them Sikhs. More than one quarter of these soldiers would became casualties.

In the first battle of Ypres at Flanders in 1914 a platoon of Dogra Sikhs died fighting to the last man, who shot himself with his last cartridge rather than surrender.

After the bloody battle of Neuve Chapelle in 1915 the Sikh regiments had lost 80% of their men, 3 regiments stood at only 16% of their original compliment. [Link]

Encarta: Indian Soldiers in France

It’s syncretic, it’s pretty, it’s callow. I don’t see Jesus and Mary lounging among the loofahs, I don’t see Moses parting the Listerine. But you can buy ‘spicebodhi,’ capsaicin enlightenment in a bar. Symbols my parents revere become interior design props. Mild, tolerant, ‘cardamom-scented’ Hinduism and Buddhism are gussied up and vended. We gave you Manhattan, you give us beads.

All holidays are filled with schlock. Even the most lactose intolerant amongst us becomes cheesy over the holidays; even the most militant vegetarian schmaltzy. Recognizing this shouldn’t stop us from having fun at the expense of the purveyors of the least pulchritudinous presents and the buyers of the least beautiful booty.

What examples have you noticed this Diwali of egregious bad taste? What are the tackiest Diwali cards you’ve seen on-line? Was there anything that made you embarrassed to be brown? Gentlefolk, start your browsers, and tell all below …

Happy Diwali. Besides Hindus, some Sikhs also celebrate this holiday:

These were for Christmas, but close enough

Sikhs also celebrate Diwali as the period during which the foundation stone for the Golden Temple was laid during in 1577. Diwali… played an important role in the life of Sri Guru Hargobind Ji, the sixth Guru of the Sikhs… Jahangir, the Mughal emperor, arrested Guru Hargobind… later Jehangir relented and let the Guru go. Accompanied by his followers and to the joy of many Sikhs, the Guru returned to Amritsar… The occasion was Diwali and it prompted the followers to celebrate the day with joy and happiness. [Link]

Fall is absolutely my favorite season: Halloween parades, Diwali card parties, Navratri garbas, Eid feasts; a new fashion season, browns and golds and purples and reds which suit the desi palette; a touch of melancholy, a premonition of winter in every breath. It’s a contrasty season, and unlike summer, all your senses are hi-fi.

Three fall poems.

Related posts: A chilly Diwali, White House celebrates Diwali, Celebrating an early Diwali, Celebrating an early Diwali, Happy Diwali!

Over a month ago, we reported that New York City was considering issuing a parking holiday in deference to the Diwali holiday on November 1. While New York’s Committee on Transportation unanimously approved the motion, it was rumored that New York mayor, Michael Bloomberg would veto the legislation. On October 28, as the 30 day time-limit for the veto was set to expire, Mayor Bloomberg vetoed it. From one of the organizer’s emails: Because the mayor vetoed the bill so late,

“there is not enough time remaining before Diwali (Nov 1 is the date the city was planning to observe it) to override him and observe the holiday this year. Council Member Brewer is confident that the council will override the Mayor, but it will probably happen at one of the two Stated Council meetings in November (I believe 11/17 and 11/31). So the city will officially observe Diwali next year. This year November 1 falls on All Saints day, on which alternate side of the street parking is suspended anyway.”

We were also informed that back in February of 2005, Representative Joseph Crowley of the seventh district of New York introduced a mostly symbolic resolution recognizing the Diwali holiday. The resolution’s purpose is simply to “express the sentiments of one of the houses,” and will not make Diwali a public holiday. Still it is nice to see some effort to recognize. See the text of the “simple resolution” here, and more from SM on Crowley’s efforts to recognize Indian-Americans.

Lastly, Washington Post reporter S. Mitra Kalita continues her series of India-centric blog posts, entitled “India 2.0,” with her most recent discussing her Diwali partying. Click here to peruse her latest, and click here to see the archives.

Still no word on the stamp.

The Indian government faces a chronic problem with tax compliance. Nobody pays income tax. Tax rates are relatively high, and the tax system is byzantine. The entire economy is structured in such a way as to help people keep their income off the books. As a result, the government has trouble collecting revenue:

It is estimated that only about 3% of India’s one billion-strong population pay income tax.

“There are only 75,000 to 85,000 people with an income of one million rupees ($22,140) who pay taxes,” Finance Minister P Chidambaram told journalists. [Link]

The text message reads: “Pay your taxes, file your returns and hold your head high. Happy Diwali!” To root out tax evaders, the revenue service is watching people’s behavior during the one time of year when they can’t help but spend money — Diwali. As much as most Diwali-celebrating Indians hate paying taxes, the social consequences of being seen as cheap during a period of conspicuous consumption and status competition are far worse.

Diwali is a time when most Indians loosen their purse strings, buying gifts and making major purchases such as buying a car, and the finance minister said big spenders would be watched.

People with credit card transactions of more than 200,000 rupees a year ($4,435) will be checked by the tax department to see if they have filed their taxes or not.

Similar checks will be run on people who make cash withdrawals of one million rupees ($22,179) or more, or who have bought mutual funds worth more than 200,000 rupees. [Link]

My favorite aspect of this campaign goes after shoppers where it hurts - their mobile phone usage. What kind of Indian shopper can resist gabbing away on their mobile to their friends? The longer they shop, the larger the phone bill will be, thus altering the authorities to the presence of a wealthy person who, in all likelihood, has not paid their tax bill.

Mobile phone users who run up a bill in excess of 1,000 rupees ($22) a month can expect to receive a text message from the finance ministry to pay up.

“Pay your taxes, file your returns and hold your head high. Happy Diwali,” reads the message. [Link]

As I correctly predicted yesterday, the White House Press Secretary was beseiged today by a question that may end up rocking the administration later this week:

Q Scott, two quick questions. Remembering Miss Rosa Parks. Then in 1955 it was like Mahatma Ghandi in South Africa, same thing happened to him. And during her time, there was very little or not many immigrants in the U.S., but today we have millions of immigrants from all over the globe. What message do you think President will have today as far as civil rights moments —

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, the President just spoke about her passing a short time ago in his remarks to the spouses of our military officers from all the branches of our military. And the President talked about what a remarkable women she was, and how courageous she was. She is someone who changed America for the better. She is an inspiration to generations, and we mourn her passing.

Q Second question is on the — now again, most of Indian-American community thankful to the President for initiating — or did initiate the Diwali Festival of Lights at the White House. Now it will be next Wednesday, November 1st, when millions across India and America will — Indians will be celebrating the festival around the globe, including at the White House here. What they are saying in the Indian American community, really, just like President initiates prayers with other groups here in the White House, like Muslims and Jews, and all that, that they are requesting him, please, to the President, this time, that if he can take a few moments and be there at part of the White House Festival of Lights on Wednesday, November 1st.

MR. McCLELLAN: On Wednesday, November 1st? Well, we’ll update you on the President’s schedule later this week.

How much do you want to bet that Goyal was the one who asked that question?  I wonder if he reads us?  Keep it locked onto SM for minute by minute news and analysis of this growing scandal.  I am considering launching my own “Special Counsel website” focusing on just this issue.  The truth is that I don’t care one way or the other whether Bush celebrates Diwali.  I just like raging against the machine. I’m good at it.

President Bush, already beset on all sides of his administration by scandal, is courting yet another one even if he doesn’t know it yet.  The 1000 rupee question is, “will he or won’t he show up to the White House Diwali celebration?”  He has opted out of Diwali festivities on all previous occasions.   New Kerala.com reports:

The United States India League has urged U S President George W Bush to attend the annual Diwali celebration in the White House noting that his presence would ”send the right signals to his friends in India and the Indian American community”.

”Merely going through the motions of having a proforma Diwali celebration would not be enough. Diwali is Hinduism’s most importance observance. The White House celebration should reflect that,” the League director Don Feder said in a release yesterday.

The White House is all set to celebrate Diwali, one of the holiest of Hindu festivals on November 1.

Although Diwali has been celebrated in the White House twice before during President Bush’s first and second term, it has always been an unofficial one, with a lot of prodding from the influential Indian Americans with friendly ties to the US Congress and the White House.

President Bush himself has not attended the occasion as he has been out of town on both the previous occasions.

Well what about the good Prime Minister from across the pond?  Will there be a party at the British Parliament?

Over 100 British lawmakers, senior ministers and diplomats are expected to attend the Diwali celebrations at the House of Commons, Lower House of Parliament, on Thursday… Guests at the reception will include over 100 Parliamentarians, ministers and cabinet secretaries, diplomats, business and community leaders and civil servants, the organisers said on Saturday night.

In a message to the Forum, Prime Minister Tony Blair said, “This festival has an important role. It gives every one of us a chance to reflect on the important contribution that your communities are making to Britain’s success. This is something for us all to celebrate…” [Link]

“43” hosted an Iftaar dinner at the White House yesterday, the fifth time that Bush has held one in the State Dining Room. Ambassadors Ronen Sen and Bernard Goonetilleke attended, as did other diplomats and prominent Americans who practice Islam. After the Imam’s prayer, the President announced a “first” which seemed especially appropriate; a Koran is now part of the White House Library.

The President used the occasion to express his gratitude towards Muslim nations who have assisted in the WoT. As for the rest:

“I believe the time has come for all responsible Islamic leaders to denounce an ideology that exploits Islam for political ends and defiles your noble faith,” he said at the White House, reports Agence France-Presse (AFP). [link]

It’s Columbus Day here in the U.S., or Indigenous People’s Day in the republic of Berkeley. Let’s toast Amerigo Vespucci and Cristóbal Colón: the former for lending his name to the continent, the latter for one of the biggest geographic cockups of all time.

As we all know, Columbus was horndoggin’ it to the land of mirch masala. Like some lecherous old geezer, he ran across a couple of prepubescent bumps in the sea and mistook them for the Himalayas. Always happy to compound a mistake, he then foundered upon the continental shelf and called its inhabitants Indians.

Contrary to popular belief, most educated individuals in the 15th century, and especially sailors, already knew that the earth was round. What was not realized by Columbus, however, was just how big a globe it was. Columbus seriously underestimated the size of the planet. [Link]

He believed the peaks of Cuba were the Himalayas of India, which gives one a sense of just how lost he was… [Link]

Not just bad at math, he was a poor businessman to boot. You’d think he’d notice they had no jewels, silk or spices. And hello, no turbans? It apparently didn’t occur to him to ask the Arawak what they called themselves. No wonder Rome fell — the Italiano was Mr. Magoo playing with sailboats in a bathtub.

We live in the United States of HenryBecause of Columbo, we suffer the same irritation as when someone nabs our handle on Gmail. We suffer the same pain as being given a dorky nickname that stuck. We’re not Indians here but rather East Indians, we’re all Oriya here. We’re not Asians but rather South Asians, running on IST relative to the Chinese. We’re Asian Indians, dot not feather. Searching the card catalog at research libraries sucks. We did not get a neat moniker like As-Am. We’re stuck with rickety contraptions like South Asian American or Asian Indian American or just fuckin’ desi, yaar.

Sunset today marked the beginning of Ramadan for millions of Muslims around the world.

Muslims believe that during the month of Ramadan, Allah revealed the first verses of the Qur’an, the holy book of Islam. Around 610 A.D., a caravan trader named Muhammad took to wandering the desert near Mecca (in today’s Saudi Arabia) while thinking about his faith. One night a voice called to him from the night sky. It was the angel Gabriel, who told Muhammad he had been chosen to receive the word of Allah. In the days that followed, Muhammad found himself speaking the verses that would be transcribed as the Qur’an.

At many mosques during Ramadan, about one thirtieth of the Qur’an is recited each night in prayers known as tarawih. In this way, by the end of the month the complete scripture will have been recited.

Muslims practice sawm, or fasting, for the entire month of Ramadan. This means that they may eat or drink nothing, including water, while the sun shines. Fasting is one of the Five Pillars (duties) of Islam. As with other Islamic duties, all able Muslims take part in sawm from about age twelve. [Link]

I thought that I would share the story of my first Ramadan to mark the occasion here on SM. To me Ramadan was nothing but a word and a vague concept until three years ago.  I had read about it in books and had Muslim friends explain some of the traditions to me, but as a non-Muslim, unless you live in a Muslim country or near Detroit, I think it is difficult to really understand the feeling of Ramadan.  In November of three years ago I landed in Amman, Jordan just hours before sunset on the first full day of the holy month.  I had never stepped foot off a plane in an Islamic country before and I was excited to begin my adventure, in addition to being a bit nervous.  My destination lay approximately three hours south near the ancient ruins of Petra.  I stepped outside and looked for a cabbie that could speak some English.  I asked him if he could drive me to south to Petra.

“Sure.  You go Petra?  I take you.  Please sir. Come.”

A very sweet new years to all of our Jewish readers.

[Update: Here’s a wonderful description of Rosh Hashanah, Calcutta style, by an Indian Baghdadi Jew (via the 92nd street Y blog)]

There have long been Jews in India.

India has a legacy of three distinct Jewish groups: the Bene Israel, the Cochin Jews and the White Jews from Europe. Each group practiced important elements of Judaism and had active synagogues. The Sephardic rites predominate among Indian Jews.

The Bene Israel (“Sons of Israel”) lived primarily in Bombay, Calcutta, Old Delhi and Ahmadabad… The Bene Israel claim to be descended from Jews who escaped persecution in Galilee in the 2nd century B.C.E. The Bene Israel resemble the non-Jewish Maratha people in appearance and customs, which indicates intermarriage between Jews and Indians. The Bene Israel, however, maintained the practices of Jewish dietary laws, circumcision and observation of Sabbath as a day of rest.

Jewish merchants from Europe traveled to India in the medieval period for purposes of trade, but it is not clear whether they formed permanent settlements in south Asia. Our first reliable evidence of Jews living in India comes from the early 11th century. It is certain that the first Jewish settlements were centered along the western coast.

The first Jews in Cochin (southern India) were the so-called “Black Jews,” who spoke the Malayalam tongue. The “White Jews” settled later, coming to India from western European nations such as Holland and Spain. A notable settlement of Spanish and Portuguese Jews starting in the 15th century was Goa, but this settlement eventually disappeared. In the 17th and 18th centuries, Cochin had an influx of Jewish settlers from the Middle East, North Africa and Spain. [Link]

Manhattan celebrates Diwali next Sunday, October 2nd at the South Street Seaport. Come enjoy bhangra, chaat, Air-India fireworks (not the Flight 182 kind) and life insurance booths next to the Brooklyn Bridge.

The chilly Seaport is a moorage for tall ships in the shadow of azure skyscrapers by Wall Street. It’s both an anachronism (a mall these days) and an odd spot for the celebration, evoking the Americans dressed as Indians who dumped tea in Boston Harbor.

Real Indians would never waste perfectly good tea. And it would probably be Lipton.

Previous post here. Related posts: one, two, three.

This morning, the NYC Council Committee on Transportation held a hearing in relation to the suspension of alternate side of the street parking rules on the Hindu festival of Diwali.

This is a big deal. Alternate side of the street parking is rarely suspended, and affects anyone looking for a place to park in NY. Only 32 legal and religious holidays are recognized by the City. Scroll down here for a list. From the petition organizers:

The first step in the process is the proposed legislation to get approved at the hearing on September 20th. Then, the Mayor will have to sign it into law. It is critical that the Council Members and, in turn, the Mayor appreciate the interest in and support of this legislation. The more support shown for the legislation at this stage of the process, the more likely it is that the Mayor will not veto it.

According to the NYC Department of Planning,there are over 600,000 foreign-born persons of South Asian descent in the NYC metro area; this does not even include those of South Asian descent born in America…If NYC takes this step, other cities and municipalities throughout the country will have the precedent to do the same.[link]

The legislation will be voted on by the full NYC Council at the Stated Meeting on Wednesday, September 28. [If they] approve the legislation it will then go to Mayor Bloomberg to be signed into law. Then the Mayor will have 30 days to sign or veto the legislation…press conference at 11:30 a.m. on Wednesday, September 28, on the steps of City Hall.

Related posts:1, 2, 3.

I feel like typing “Happy Ganesh Utsav”, but I’m 99.9% certain that’s incorrect, inapposite and just plain inane. Surely I will suffer a beat-down for my cheekiness; I implore you to bear in mind (while you are paddling me) that I’m just a simple Christian girl from Coconut land/God’s own country who has no idea what this snack even IS. ;)

It’s well-established that I’m reading whenever I’m on the metro and half the time I’m doing that, I’m actually scanning the articles for sepia-tinted stories which I can bring you here. :) Normally, I find brown down ‘round the front page; yesterday, I was slightly surprised to see that my “local” paper’s Food section was where the mutiny was at. Et voila, an article by Priya Phadke to coincide with a certain deity’s partay. I’ve seen hundreds of recipes in WaPo, but this is the first desi one that I’ve noticed.

Priya is the assistant art director for The Post’s Sunday Source, a.k.a. the section I love most and thus save for Georgetown, Dean and Deluca and cappuccino-soaked Sunday afternoons. Here’s what our dear artiste had to say about what you guys are going to be making (and then sending to North Dakota, please. Thanks!):

In the three years since I moved to the United States from Mumbai, as Bombay is now called, I get most homesick during festive seasons. My maternal grandmother nani would make comfort food, and her karanjees are what I miss most.

Karenjees are dough stuffed with soft, shredded coconut that is flavored with cardamom, saffron, sugar and Gulkand, a rose petal jam that lends a distinctive flavor and fragrance and sets my nani’s karanjees apart from all others.

The Empire State Building is lit green and white this weekend in honor of Pakistan’s independence. Manhattan’s parade starts at 12:30 pm today and goes down Madison Ave. from 41st to 26th Sts.

The 23rd St. tower’s lighting is still on IST. Maybe it’s reactionary political commentary; maybe it’s a statement of solidarity; maybe, like vegetables and viceroys, it only morphs at the stroke of midnight.

On IST as always, NYC’s India Day parade was held on August 21 this year. I couldn’t attend, but I hear one of our readers played the nauch girl on stage. Perhaps you’ll chime in with incriminating photos.

Like the Poe toaster, only sans macabre, some mystery soul always garlands the Gandhi statue in Union Square with fresh flowers:

For over 50 years since 1949, on the night marking the anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe’s birth, a mysterious man-in-black has entered the cemetery where the master of the macabre lies buried, and, making his way through the dark shadows to Poe’s grave, he places a partial bottle of expensive French cognac and three blood-red roses there, presumably as tokens of admiration and in tribute to the great author. This ritual completed, he then slips away into the night as quietly and as mysteriously as he came…

‘America the Beautiful’

… Thine alabaster cities gleam
undimmed by human tears…

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free! … (Did Ayn Rand know about this?)

Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

Happy birthday, sweet land of liberty. I love my country tremendously, but the intertwined backstories of the good ol’ U.S. of A. and desi Americans are replete with historical irony. The übermutinous Declaration of Independence was signed 229 years ago on this day:

Prudence… will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes… But when a long train of abuses… reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government… The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries… the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States…

Asian Indian students who were supporters of independence from the British Empire were expelled from the country by order of President Theodore Roosevelt… [Link]

When [Gen. Dyer, who executed the Jallianwalla Bagh massacre] was felicitated — not censured — in the British House of Lords, even Mahatma Gandhi, that apostle of tolerance, was moved to suggest that “co-operation in any shape or form with this satanic government is sinful”. [Link]

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither…

 A geographical criterion was used to exclude Asian Indians, because their racial or ethnic status was unclear… The 1917 immigration act denied entry to people from a ‘barred zone’ that included South Asia… [Link]

… sustained political attacks against Asian Indians… culminated in the imposition of the 1917 Barred Zone Act. Asian Indians joined other Asian country nationals… who were excluded from immigrating to the United States… [Link]

For the first time, the DC Independence day parade will include a gatka display, featuring the Miri Piri Gatka Dal (Texas) and the  Sikh Gatka Akhara (DC).

Gatka is a (the?) “Sikh Martial Art.”  A fighter swings his or her weapon (usually a stick, sword, or chain) in a fast, fluid, circular, flowing motion, while following a set footwork routine called the Panthra.  The result is both visually captivating and quite effective. Stylistically, gatka is more like kendo than fencing. Fencing was developed to train men for one-on-one duels; it’s linear and episodic, concentrating on lunges designed to penetrate armor. Gatka is designed so that one fighter can hold off multiple opponents and it relies upon continuous motion. The two fighting styles are different in all the stereotypical but true ways that East differs from West.

If you can’t make it, you might be interested looking at some video clips. My favorites include this one of a man with two swords, one man fighting multiple opponents, and this video-game style clip of two guys fighting. And yes, women do gatka as well [Windows Media Required].

At first I was concerned that the athletes demonstrating gatka would get a rude reception. After all, they’re swarthy, mainly male, dressed in salvar kameez, wearing round turbans. The men have long flowing beards. And this is the Fourth of July, a time for both patriotism and bigotry.

But I thought about it some more, and relaxed. After all, who would be dumb enough to mouth off to a bunch of Texans swinging swords like airplane propellers? Now that would be un-American.

We've been accused of a lack of lowe for Guyana, so I thought I'd point out that serendipitously enough, today is Guyanese Independence Day. Wikipedia says so on its main page, under selected Anniversaries. By the by, did you know that Guyana is half desi?

the three major groups are the (East) Indians or Indo-Guyanese (50%) who have remained predominantly rural, the Africans or Afro-Guyanese (36%) who constitute the majority urban population, and the Amerindians (7%) who live in the country's interior...

Christianity (50%), Hinduism (35%), and Islam (10%) are the dominant religions in Guyana, with the latter two concentrated in the Indo-Guyanese community.

Word. SM is down with ALL brown, y'hear? :)

Amardeep has a rundown of this harvest festival and Sikh New Year. Lohri is another favorite festival of mine: baking like the planet Mercury, searing bonfire on one side, frigid night on the other and bhangra all around the fire.

Here’s a snapshot I took at the 2003 Sikh Day parade in NYC. It’s the Madison Square Park tower in a playground mirror. This year’s parade will be held on Sat., Apr. 30.

Straight from your druggie aunties and uncles, here are some traditional recipes for Holi bhang. The Hindustan Times even tells you how to make pot laddoos and green halva!

Bhang, or cannabis, is freely associated with the splash of assorted Holi colours. During this season, bhang is prepared and served according to age-old traditions throughout the Himalayan foothills.

With a simple mortar and pestle, the buds and leaves of cannabis are squashed and ground into a green paste, to which milk, ghee and spices are added. This base can be mixed with the nutritious, refreshing drink, thandai… This can also be mixed with ghee and sugar to make a tasty green halvah, and into peppery, chewy little balls called [golis].

I’m cracking up just thinking of aunties hanging out around shady parks after midnight trying to score Shiva’s herb for their Holi parties. Mistress of Spices indeed. Like Bhang for Chocolate. Maybe desis’ popularity in stoner flicks is justified — I’ll never look at pista barfi the same way again.

The adult Holi is the desi Halloween, a day for masks, flirting and outrageous fun. Meanwhile, bhangra aficionados are busy denying that its name derives from bhang:

Cecil Beaton described the ‘concoction of milk of almonds, rosewater, carminum nuts and eight ingredients of which hashish, or Bhang, was the principal’. (‘One of the effects of Bhang,’ he further reported, ‘is that it makes everything appear humorous. Another is that strange things happen to one’s sense of time.’)

Brimful’s amphora runneth over as she tells a hilarious tale about an auntie, an airport and a dime bag:

… her brother-in-law, V mama, puts in his request, asks her to get him some of that stuff that goes into bhang. She puts it on the list, describes it exactly that way when she seeks it out in India.

So there she is, waiting in the customs line at Logan, carting along two rather young kids, bags filled to the point of bursting, and the customs inspector decides that her bags should be inspected…. The inspector does his thing, until he comes to a bag of dried leaves. “What’s this?” he asks.

With spring here, Indian organizations around the U.S. will be getting ready to celebrate Holi so as to “keep it real” and stay attached to the customs of the homeland. Back in the homeland, people are buying up supplies for Holi as well. As reported at NewKerala.com:

An array of Chinese coloured powder and squirt guns have flooded the Indian market ahead of the Holi festival Saturday. “Rain Storm”, “Super Soaker” and “Water 3000” are some of the Made in China water guns that are attracting Holi revellers, who retailers say are slowly but steadily giving up the traditional squirt guns called ‘pitchkaris’.

So why are wholesalers going for Chinese goods? “They are definitely better than the Indian products,” said Amir Ullah Khan, a wholesaler, pointing to a fashionable water gun.

The gun, called “Rain Storm”, has two barrels that can supposedly shoot jets of water up to a distance of 50 metres. The best part is it comes with a portable water tank that can be worn on the shoulders.

There are also “Made in China” guns that are small enough to be concealed in one’s palm and cost as low as Rs.30, while the larger ones could cost anywhere above Rs.500 ($11).

Don’t have plans for Holi? Why not join NetIP-LA for some paintball? Come out for a day of fun and excitement at SC Village, one of the most popular paintball parks in Southern California. The park has up to 20 different themed courses, ranging from jungles with rivers to cityscapes to military camps.

That’s right. That’s how we do. Some real guns. West Siiidddeee for life. I don’t think I have ever actually participated in a Holi activity. After reading Wikipedia’s description I feel like I am missing out:

The first day, a bonfire is lit at night to signify the burning of Holika. The second day, known as Rangapanchami, people go around throwing colours at each other. A special drink called bhang is also consumed, which actually contains small amounts of marijuana to make the festival more enjoyable.

Who says Hindus and Muslims disagree about the fundamentals of culture and religion? In certain instances they CAN be in agreement. What better day than Valentine’s Day to showcase said agreement. Or should I call it “Prostitution Day?” From NDTV.com:

Shiv Sainiks continue to play spoilsports on Valentine’s Day.

The Delhi unit of the Sena has planned to hold a protest march near the Delhi University area, and have decided to call it ‘Prostitution Day’, because of what they see as a poisoning influence of western society.

“Valentine’s day is turning the youth away from our true culture and traditions. Growing commercialisation by certain vested interests is further leading them up the wrong path,” said Delhi Shiv Sena chief Jai Bhagwan Goel.

Each year shortly before Feb. 14, the country’s religious police mobilize, heading out to hunt for - and confiscate - red roses, red teddy bears and any signs of a heart.

In a country where Valentine’s Day is banned, ordinary Saudis find they must skirt the law to spoil their sweethearts.

The Valentine’s Day holiday celebrating love and lovers is banned in Saudi Arabia, where religious authorities call it a Christian celebration that true Muslims should shun.

The only good part about this is that forgetful men, who are bad boyfriends, have a legitimate excuse to show up without flowers. “Look honey what do you want from me? The Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice would have arrested my ass.”

In a quest for validation-by-sticker dating back to those gold stars from third grade, desis are yet again pitching a Diwali stamp to the US Postal Service. The online petition comes with a ‘No fair! Rashid got a bigger piece’ twist, because an Eid stamp came out years ago. Since both the Diwali and Dalip Singh Saund stamps have been rejected before, the latest try shows we can take a lickin’ and keep on stickin’.

Some experts told that the stamp being issued was not a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’, said Kumar. “Diwali’s recognition by the US Postal Department… will also honour a civilisation that has the merit of being a continuous propagation for 6,000 years, and Diwali is celebrated not just by Hindus but also Sikhs and even Christians. It’s like Christmas,” he contended.

My assessment is a bit too flip. It’s true that in the email age, procuring a Diwali stamp is like flyering the Titanic. But it’s actually free marketing for the South Asian brand. You might not have to explain your damn holiday to your elderly neighbors any more. You might get a sponsorship from Illuminations.

You might even pull a Hannukah (eight days of presents? It’s a shanda) and leave work early every day in November. ‘Ours is a very respectful religion,’ you might say. ‘We respect the ancient tradition of shubh ghanta. Also called happy hour. We take converts.’

Sign the petition here.

Ever been annoyed by not having a holiday for Diwali, Eid or Guru Nanak’s birthday? Samantha Bee, resident wag on the Daily Show, tells us what Christmas really means (at 2:20 in the clip):

‘But really, let’s face it: all other days bow down to the 25th, Christmas. It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.’

Virgin Mobile’s latest promotion is a fine example of South Asian-inspired surrealist kitsch. Not to mention the visions you had the morning after the New Year’s party. No, Virginia, those weren’t sugarplums dancing through your head.

For art that so prominently features a Hindu motif, it sure is strange to extirpate Diwali from the name (Chrismahanukwanzakah). So, I’ve re-christened it, so to speak.

Happy Diwahanukwanzidmas, and watch the animation!

Related posts: A very Om-ly Christmas, Krishna for Christmas, The peacock, The tao of Manschot, Blood brother, Kitsch Idol, Blog bidness, Kitsch-mish, Camping while brown, Wild Bollywood art project, Indian kitsch: Artist does Indian theme for Diesel, TV ad satires on India, Hinduism as kitsch, Warmth and Diesel: The selling of Indian kitsch

Left out in the cold by the greeting card companies’ standard fare? The rambunctious ragamuffins at Badmash have a new set of seasons greetings that are sure to keep you and yours warm with laughter:

      

Badmash: Holiday cards

I thought since its Thanksgiving why not do a small survey of what is being eaten in Desi kitchens. Growing up in my house we usually ate traditional Lasangna or some equally rebellious dish. I have always been a bit of a Grinch when it comes to the holidays so I don’t care about corporate America’s traditions. From the Portsmouth Herald:

Turkey Tandoori, anyone? Well, not exactly, but Gill Varinder, manager of Shalimar Restaurant, said that some of his native India makes it to his Thanksgiving meal.

“We do celebrate Thanksgiving. All the Indians here have for a long time. Mostly they will cook the turkey like everyone else does, but the stuffing is different. Ninety percent of the time, the stuffing is made with spinach and green peas.”

Varinder said that, while a turkey can be cooked in a traditional Tandoori oven, it would take a very long time, and on the Indian table garlic is a big ingredient for the turkey.

“We slice the skin and put garlic under it. Our gravy is a bit different, too. We take about 5 pounds of fresh lamb and cook it with onions, ginger, garlic, cumin and tumeric, and cook it down for three or four hours until it’s very thick and dark brown.”

What else is different and what’s the same on the Indian table?

“We don’t have much pie, but the side dishes are usually the same as the regular dinner. We have mashed potatoes but also some rice and chapatti (whole-wheat flat bread). And we drink scotch.”

Mashed potatoes and scotch. Some things on the Thanksgiving table transcend cultures.

The White House hosted its second Diwali celebration Wednesday, which is very cool. It'll be interesting to see how that plays with the evangelicals who equate Hinduism with devil worship. Former ambassador to India Robert Blackwill hosted the party; it was his last day in government, he just resigned as head of Iraq policy due to a staffer abuse mini-scandal.

Dubya and Laura, Karl Rove (who attended last year), and Representative-elect Bobby Jindal were no-shows. One fundraiser said that for Indian-Americans, 'pay to play' is all pay, no play; he threw a hissy-fit when Bush attended a Ramadan dinner a few hours later:

Community activists were told that if the President and the First Lady attended the event of one community or nationals, there would be pressure from others. But a few hours after the Diwali event, Bush attended an Iftar dinner hosted by the White House to mark the end of Ramzaan... "We raised millions for the President and the GOP... and this is what we got in return," the activist, also a physician, fumed.

Many Republican desis attended, and the mithai and samosas were ordered from the same New York midtown restaurant, Bukhara Grill, which catered Salman Rushdie's wedding and is a favorite of Bill Clinton's. Great food is nonpartisan, time for a pilgrimage:

Dhandu Ram is the man behind the tandoor at Bukhara Grill in New York. He is a master tandoor who hails from Rajasthan, but got his training on the job at the famed Bukhara at the Maurya Sheraton in Delhi... As a tandoor chef, Ram is the star attraction at Bukhara Grill and agrees that more respect is given to chefs here... He points out that a tandoor chef generally gets a green card because this is a task that no one else can really do.

Update: Someone who once worked for the host of the party chimes in on Daniel Drezner's blog:

Blackwill is an incredibly brilliant thinker with absolutely no interpersonal skills... I never saw Blackwill touch an employee other than to shake hands. His manner is such that embassy staff wondered that he could have fathered three children... He sleeps four hours a night... By the time I'd arrive in my office at 0730... I would find between 20 and 30 e-mails from Blackwill, time-stamped from 0330 onward... he was always a decent human being. I think his major fault was that he simply lacked empathy toward other human beings...

Since this is Veteran’s day in the United States I felt it was most appropriate to have a post about military matters. Embassy Magazine is a publication targeting the diplomat community in the Ottawa, Canada area and recently ran a piece about the often overlooked Brown soldiers of the two World Wars.

Over 1,300,000 soldiers of Indian ancestry fought in the First World War. It remains the largest volunteer army ever assembled in the history of the world. It was the largest number of soldiers fighting from the British Empire after those from the British Isles. Not Canada, not Australia, no other part of the Empire contributed as many troops.

Two and half million Indian soldiers fought in the Second World War. You might want to read those sentences again.

If this group of soldiers came from anywhere in the Western world and if they were white, there’d be monuments to them in every major Western capital in the world.

I guess thats the way of history though isn’t it? Whoever ends up in charge writes history by highlighting certain things and not emphasizing others.

I used to go from Birmingham to Amritsar by foot, but it was a very slow walk!

Birmingham International Airport (BIA) has celebrated the launch of a new non-stop long haul charter service with specialist tour operator, Midland Airways. Travellers are now able to fly direct to Amritsar, the City of the Golden Temple, from Birmingham each Friday. This service will increase to two flights per week before the end of the month and will see a third weekly departure in early December.

The flights are operated by a new airline to Birmingham, Slovak Airlines, using a 215 seater 767-200 aircraft. Although the service is operated as a charter flight, passengers have a choice of two classes - economy (203 seats) and first class (12 seats). Prices start from GBP299 return.

Currently, the weekly service departs from Birmingham each Friday at 21:00, arriving the next morning into Amritsar Airport at 09:30. The return flight leaves Amritsar on Sunday at 13:30 and arrives into Birmingham at 20:00 the same evening. These flight times will change as new frequencies are added.

The U.S.' biggest Navratri celebration, a 15-year-old, 20,000-person raas-garba under a large tent in Edison, New Jersey, has been canceled (via SAJA). The event's tent supplier shipped all its stock to Florida in the aftermath of the hurricanes, and the new vendors wanted more money than the organizers had on hand:

"We are the richest per-capita community, and they are calling it off because of money?" said Sylvester Fernandez, an Indian-American engineer from Edison and Republican candidate for Congress. "That's just wrong, that's just pathetic."

Yes, Gujarati teens will be deprived of their most efficient flirting grounds this year, forced to gather in small high school gyms. Dandia's counter-rotating circles are like a socialist dance club, everyone has to dance with everyone else, and (bonus!) they're parentally-approved. So if you're a respectable New Jersey parent and your child runs off with a circus freak, you know who to blame. I'm just sayin'.

In the past, the celebration has faced tensions over noise levels with uncalled-for religious overtones:

[T]he Edison Township Council... are paying them to break the law so they could bang their heathen drums in obeisance to their heathen gods until 4 a.m. on the Sabbath... --The Rev. Kenneth Matto, Edison

 The preeminence of the Gujarati community in New Jersey did not come without a fight:

[I]n September 1987, a group calling itself the 'dotbusters' wrote a letter to a Jersey City newspaper. The letter read: "We will go to any extreme to get Indians to move out of Jersey City. If I'm walking down the street and I see a Hindu and the setting is right, I will hit him or her." A couple of weeks after that, an Indian doctor, Kaushal Sharan, was beaten up by three white men. And three days later, in the neighbouring town of Hoboken, an Asian Indian, Navroze Mody, was beaten to death by a gang of 11 men.

An early Diwali in New York yesterday at the South Street Seaport:

It's one of the most upscale Diwali settings I've ever seen, tall ships and a fireworks barge bobbing beneath skyscrapers of robin's-egg blue... Ashen wrappers smelling of gunpowder drifted onto the heads of desi elders who had splayed themselves across the wooden pier steps... A dance troupe on the pier practiced ballroom with shells whistling overhead, a scratchy violin track playing in the background.

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