May 02, 2008
You Will Go To "Nether Region" For Watching "The Love Guru"
These people are actually quite serious, when they inform us of the punishments we are likely to receive for making, viewing, or thinking about the upcoming Mike Myers’ comedy, The Love Guru. One of the groups leading the protests is the Hindu Janjagruti Samiti, which has, based on the trailer, judged the film as offensive to Hindus because it mocks the sanctity of the Guru-Shishya relationship. They have drawn up an open letter of protest to the MPAA, and sent out press releases, generating straight-faced coverage like this (thanks, PremiumSchlock).
Unfortunately, while many news organizations have been attending to the budding protests against The Love Guru, few news stories have been paying attention to other creative documents by the Hindu Janjagruti Samiti relating to the film, such as the following table:
|
Act |
Demerit |
Means |
|
Making the movie, ‘The Love Guru’ |
30 units |
2nd region of Hell for 1000 years |
|
Watching it for entertainment without knowing the spiritual science/significance |
2 units |
Nether region (Bhuvaloka) for 100 yrs |
|
Watching it for entertainment even after knowing the spiritual science/ significance |
5 units |
1st region of Hell for 100 yrs |
|
Being a seeker of God/on the spiritual path, knowing about the Movie, but doing nothing to stop it |
5 units |
1st region of Hell for 100 yrs |
(Source for the above table.) And how many demerits do I get for finding this table hilarious? (I must admit, I am rather curious about this “nether region” idea.)
Their open letter to the MPAA is also unintentionally comic:
The trailer released by Paramount pictures shows utter disrespect for the deep spiritual significance of the Guru. It shows the Guru in a very poor light and encourages the audience to laugh at the Guru. I could not believe my eyes when the trailer revealed Mike Myers playing a Guru through a whole range of denigrating scenes, some of which are quite lurid, such as the Guru wearing a chastity belt, having an erection, involved in bar brawls, accepting money to playing cupid, etc. In the trailer the character Pitka is proclaimed as the second best Guru in India. Was this a calculated statement or was this pulled out of some juvenile script writer’s repertoire? For a country that has produced revered Gurus and Saints such as Swami Vivekanand, Ramkrushna Paramhansa and Yogi Arvind, does Paramount Pictures actually believe that Mike Meyer’s portrayal of a Guru will join the ranks of the most illustrious Saints/Guru’s of India? Was your research team / script writer not aware of the sanctity of the Guru prior to making the movie? Did they even consult leaders in Spirituality (apart from Mr. Deepak Chopra of course) if the script was potentially hurting? (link)
“The script was potentially hurting” — indeed.
The protests to this film might turn out to be funnier than the film itself.
amardeep at 09:22 AM in Humor · 108 comment(s) · Direct link
April 19, 2008
Caption This
The Washington Redskins’ cheerleaders recently performed in Hyderabad Bangalore, during an Indian Premier League cricket match. A Washington Post reporter took the following photo:
(Click on the photo to see the faces of the men a bit more clearly.)
There is also a detailed Washington Post article about the event here. Also, we wrote about the rival Twenty20 cricket league, the ICL, here; cheerleaders seemed to be a part of the mix there as well.
amardeep at 03:17 PM in Humor · 275 comment(s) · 1 reader(s) linked · Direct link
April 16, 2008
The "Great Khali" Attempts to Make Peace; Receives Sucker Punch
I know, I know — there are numerous absurd things happening here. How Boston Bhangra got involved, for one thing, is a puzzle. The “Poonjabi Peace Offering” sounds, to my ear, like it’s been delivered in Hindi. Indeed, The Great Khali is ethnically not Punjabi at all, I don’t think. (His real name is Dalip Singh Rana.)
But if you’re worried about those minor inaccuracies, you’re really REALLY missing the point of the eight glorious minutes of “entertainment” contained herein.
amardeep at 09:14 PM in Humor, TV · 42 comment(s) · Direct link
April 10, 2008
I went to Pakistan with my roommate
Barack Obama dropped a “bombshell” today, something not mentioned in either of his two books:
According to his campaign staff, Mr. Obama visited Pakistan in 1981, on the way back from Indonesia, where his mother and half-sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, were living. He spent “about three weeks” there, Mr. Obama’s press secretary, Bill Burton, said, staying in Karachi with the family of a college friend, Mohammed Hasan Chandoo, but also traveling to Hyderabad, in India. [Link]
Whoa. He went to Karachi and probably had Hyderabadi biryani on the same college trip over 25 years ago! If he is elected President might not this learning experience alone help him bridge the divide between the South Asian nations? Remember when he said he was appalled that one of his staffers wrote the D-Punjab memo? At the time he stated an affinity for the South Asian community because his college roommate was desi. Turns out BO rolled at least three deep in his younger days:
In “Dreams from My Father,” he talks of having a Pakistani roommate when he moved to New York, a man he calls Sadik who “had overstayed his tourist visa and now made a living in New York’s high-turnover, illegal immigrant work force, waiting on tables…”During his years at Occidental College, Mr. Obama also befriended Wahid Hamid, a fellow student who was an immigrant from Pakistan and traveled with Mr. Obama there, the Obama campaign said. Mr. Hamid is now a vice president at Pepsico in New York, and according to public records, has donated the maximum $2,300 to the Obama campaign and is listed as a fund-raiser for it.
Mr. Chandoo is now a self-employed financial consultant, living in Armonk, N.Y. He has also donated the maximum, $2,300, to Mr. Obama’s primary campaign and an additional $309 for the general election, campaign finance records show. [Link]
Clinton (D-Punjab) loves India and Indian food, but as far as I know, on a day-to-day basis she only runs one deep. And McCain? I don’t know if he has any desi friends but his daughter is desi, so I guess that also counts as one deep. All this is important because having desi friends means that you might understand aspects of foreign policy better, as Obama explained today:
“I knew what Sunni and Shia was before I joined the Senate Foreign Relations Committee,” he said. [Link]
He might have a point. We all know that W. doesn’t have a desi posse and, as you’d expect, he didn’t know what a Sunni or Shia was. Bottom line: Having South Asian American friends = good. That is something both parties should be able to agree on.
abhi at 10:13 PM in Humor, Politics · 51 comment(s) · Direct link
Don’t let your desi mom read this post
Especially if you are a smart, attractive, single desi woman. Seriously. This isn’t about desi women in particular but you’ll see how this information could be used for evil especially by desi parents. I know some of you forward posts to your parents but don’t do it with this one. You’ve been warned. NSFP=Not Safe for Parents.
Ok, now that I’ve cleared my conscience let’s get to the article at hand shall we? Slate.com recently published, The Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, which makes use of game theory to explain why the best women often end up single and alone if they wait “too long” to get married. We’ll save judgement for the end:
The shortage of appealing men is a century-plus-old commonplace of the society melodrama. The shortage—or—more exactly, the perception of a shortage—becomes evident as you hit your late 20s and more acute as you wander into the 30s. Some men explain their social fortune by believing they’ve become more attractive with age; many women prefer the far likelier explanation that male faults have become easier to overlook.
The problem of the eligible bachelor is one of the great riddles of social life. Shouldn’t there be about as many highly eligible and appealing men as there are attractive, eligible women?…Actually, no—and here’s why. Consider the classic version of the marriage proposal: A woman makes it known that she is open to a proposal, the man proposes, and the woman chooses to say yes or no. The structure of the proposal is not, “I choose you.” It is, “Will you choose me?” A woman chooses to receive the question and chooses again once the question is asked. [Link]
So what have we learned so far? Despite the fact that men usually propose, it is the woman that typically dictates if and when a marriage will occur. In a free and modern society (meaning no forced or pressured marriages) the real power rests with the woman. Let’s go on then:
You can think of this traditional concept of the search for marriage partners as a kind of an auction. In this auction, some women will be more confident of their prospects, others less so.In game-theory terms, you would call the first group “strong bidders” and the second “weak bidders.” Your first thought might be that the “strong bidders”—women who (whether because of looks, social ability, or any other reason) are conventionally deemed more of a catch—would consistently win this kind of auction.
But this is not true. In fact, game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by “weak” bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the “strong” bidders will hold out for a really great deal. [Link]
So the brilliant and attractive women hold out for someone worthy of their brilliance and attractiveness. Who could blame them? But, meanwhile, the “tier two” women claim their men with their womanly ways, thus removing them from the “game,” leaving the tier one women with fewer candidates that are perhaps, and I quote, “short, socially awkward, underemployed.” Now what about men like me…ahem…cough cough…tier one…cough…men that are still unmarried and ripe for conquest by those aging tier 1 women? I’m guessing we (not me in specific of course, just other tier 1s) might be defective in terms of our megalomania or commitment phobia. James Bond syndrome. So we are essentially out of the game as well (until maybe a much younger tier one or two woman clubs us over the head and aggressively claims us).
Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness. [Link]
The article concludes with a warning. If you want to win this “game” then follow the advice laid out here. Aggressively choose a mate while you are still young. However, you must first believe that the “prize” is worth winning. That is a much more difficult question. A mate isn’t life’s only prize, or even its most important one depending on your view of things.
abhi at 09:46 PM in Economics, Humor, Musings · 267 comment(s) · Direct link
March 31, 2008
You liked that book? Pretentious crap. Get out of my bed.
Discussion over an article published Sunday night on the NY Times website dominated my email inbox today. Given the fact that so many SM readers are hyper-literate (or at least think they are) this simply had to be shared, discussed, and dissected to death here as well. Ready yourselves:
We’ve all been there. Or some of us have. Anyone who cares about books has at some point confronted the Pushkin problem: when a missed — or misguided — literary reference makes it chillingly clear that a romance is going nowhere fast. At least since Dante’s Paolo and Francesca fell in love over tales of Lancelot, literary taste has been a good shorthand for gauging compatibility. These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding. When it comes to online dating, even casual references can turn into deal breakers. Sussing out a date’s taste in books is “actually a pretty good way — as a sort of first pass — of getting a sense of someone,” said Anna Fels, a Manhattan psychiatrist and the author of “Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives.” “It’s a bit of a Rorschach test.” To Fels (who happens to be married to the literary publisher and writer James Atlas), reading habits can be a rough indicator of other qualities. “It tells something about … their level of intellectual curiosity, what their style is,” Fels said. “It speaks to class, educational level.”
Pity the would-be Romeo who earnestly confesses middlebrow tastes: sometimes, it’s the Howard Roark problem as much as the Pushkin one. “I did have to break up with one guy because he was very keen on Ayn Rand,” said Laura Miller, a book critic for Salon. “He was sweet and incredibly decent despite all the grandiosely heartless ‘philosophy’ he espoused, but it wasn’t even the ideology that did it. I just thought Rand was a hilariously bad writer, and past a certain point I couldn’t hide my amusement.” (Members of theatlasphere.com, a dating and fan site for devotees of “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead,” might disagree.)… [Link]
I confess, I went to theatlassphere.com to see if Vinod had posted a dating ad there. The article goes on to conclude that you must be incredibly shallow if you dump someone based openly (or secretly) on the fact that their taste in literature sucks compared to yours. In fact, it wasn’t until I read this article that I wondered, for the first time in my life, if I was shallow. Am I destined to be “Baioed”? Not only would the pre-32 year old Abhi break up with a girl if she had ever in her life waited in a line for a Harry Potter book, he may also have dumped her if she didn’t like Mos The Cure (yes, I am a music snob as well). However, the new Abhi is reflective about the depth of his shallowness, mostly because he had been completely unaware of it until recently. The new Abhi wants to change. There have always been hints. Let me tell you all about one recent break-up. Well, it still feels recent but I guess it has actually been a while. Def
It was a blogger. I read this person daily and they opened my eyes to new things (even stuff I didn’t care about like Bollywood was made mildly tolerable). About a year into the relationship the cracks started to show. I think we both saw them but…its hard to give up on something that you’ve invested time in together. Eventually they went their own way. And then, just recently, after I wrote this book review he wrote this counter review, and I knew we weren’t meant to be together. The passive aggression (see the second stab) over literature is plain for all to see. A good friendship was a better idea. He just doesn’t get my rawer tastes.
Continuing on with the article, I realized how formulaic some of our behaviors have become in this internet age. For example, I confess, I’ve done this (and I’m sure many of you have as well):
Still, to some reading men, literary taste does matter. “I’ve broken up with girls saying, ‘She doesn’t read, we had nothing to talk about,’” said Christian Lorentzen, an editor at Harper’s. Lorentzen recalls giving one girlfriend Nabokov’s “Ada” — since it’s “funny and long and very heterosexual, even though I guess incest is at its core.” The relationship didn’t last, but now, he added, “I think it’s on her Friendster profile as her favorite book…” [Link]
Even if it didn’t work out, a scar on your heart in the form of a good book feels tolerable. When I thought about it I realized that some of my previous failed “relationships,” that were in retrospect marked by unsustainable high highs and low lows, were foreshadowed by literary incidents. I once dated a girl that loved Lolita by Nabokov (brilliant) but also liked Waiting for Godot by Beckett (pretentious waste of time).
 |
|
“You mean you haven’t read it yet? I read an advanced copy. She really has outdone herself” |
Being South Asian makes it even harder with respect to finding literary compatibility, especially if you want to date someone desi or someone who is dating you because they find you exotic. There is the added pressure of having to always know when the newest desi-lit book is coming out so you can be prepared to sound like an expert on it. Well you know what? I don’t read desi-lit! *Gasp*
The single best line in the article however, has got to be the following:
Compatibility in reading taste is a “luxury” and kind of irrelevant, Levy said. The goal, she added, is “to find somebody where your perversions match and who you can stand…” [Link]
That really is a transcendant statement. I’ve never heard it put so concisely and correctly. I recently went on a date with a girl that confessed to being a Chopra (yes, that one) fan in her younger days. The old Abhi would have snuck out the bathroom window. The new Abhi finished the date only to learn that some of our perversions matched.
Baby steps.
abhi at 10:41 PM in Humor, Literature · 109 comment(s) · 1 reader(s) linked · Direct link
March 28, 2008
Caption This
The following image was sent to me by email; it comes from the Times of India; I don’t know the artist or the original context in which it was printed:
Please provide a caption or title. avoiding the use of the word “kala.”
I should acknowledge that at least one conservative Hindu website has declared that they find the above image offensive. Do readers agree?
(As I understand it, images of deities in the Hindu tradition are widely appropriated and reinterpreted in the culture. They don’t have the same “forbidden” status that they do in, say, Islam. While I can definitely see how a nude image of a Hindu deity not normally represented as nude might be offensive, I think a comic or satirical gloss on a revered story from the tradition, as in the image above, isn’t that uncommon. I am, as always, open to hearing other points of view…)
amardeep at 09:29 AM in Humor · 148 comment(s) · Direct link
March 23, 2008
There goes the neighborhood
The big news on this Sunday is that an Indian character (human not puppet) is finally (after 39 years) moving on to the storied Sesame Street!
 |
|
Doesn’t Snuffleupagus look like he is eyeing “Leela” as food? |
The newest neighbor on Sesame Street just happens to be Indian American, because the role was originally dreamed up with no particular ethnicity in mind.“It was incidental,” actress Nitya Vidyasagar told India-West by phone last week from New York City, where she is currently taping the 39th season of the award-winning PBS children’s show. “The casting notices said nothing of ethnicity.”
But the New York-based stage actress made such a strong impression on the show’s producers that they found themselves willing to create her role from scratch.
Vidyasagar plays Leela, a young Indian American woman who runs the local laundromat. Unlike many of the other actors on the show, who use their own first names as their character’s names, she felt more comfortable with the name Leela. “My name is hard for some people to say,” she explained. [Link]
Sepia Mutiny went down to Sesame Street and conducted interviews to see what some residents thought of their newest neighbor. Would there be increased tension because a South Asian was moving in to the neighborhood?
First off, we found that the some Koreans were pissed that a desi is running the laundromat instead of one of their own. When pressed further they said, “why not the 7-11 one street over?” The cookie monster was also in a foul mood explaining, “great, one more mouth to feed.” Count von Count was excited that he may soon learn how to count in Hindi. Oscar threw a garbage lid at one of our bloggers and just didn’t want to be bothered. Elmo just kept laughing because he was so happy at the news but then Bert came by and slapped him upside the head for no (good) reason.
The only one that would speak to us in earnest was Grover. He turned out to be far more lucid than he comes across on television (and he wasn’t wearing a cape). He struck me as an old soul actually. He was glad to see “Leela” move into the neighborhood but expressed some remorse when learning that Nitya had chosen to go by “Leela” because she thought “Nitya” might be too hard to pronounce. “We have a mammoth-like dude named Aloysius Snuffleupagus that lives on this street. Would Nitya really have been that hard to pronounce? Even Barack gave up Barry,” said Grover.
The new Leela is quite an international woman, and speaks Hindi and Telugu. Born in Muscat, Oman, she moved to India with her family when she was a year old. She and her family lived in Kolkata, Hyderabad and Bangalore before moving to the United States when she was 12, and she speaks English with a delicate, yet hard-to-place, Indian accent. “They said I could speak with my accent, too,” she laughed. [Link]
Look for the new season to start in August. This post was brought to you by the number 8 and the letter W.
abhi at 11:35 PM in Humor, TV · 28 comment(s) · Direct link
March 16, 2008
Big B for PM of USA
Without making a big fuss, the boys at Badmash are back with a new video and new material. Tired of the Presidential Election already? Well, how about directing your attention to the election for Prime Minister of America (click to watch the video)[Thanks to Taz]:
Amitabh has a carefully nuanced platform, which explains why America needs a PM:
“I want to say to America: Look, America, I am not here to take a job from you. I am here to bring you a job from India. That job is Prime Minister. And yes, you should find an Indian to do it.” [Link]
He’s willing to take clear stands concerning important issues, such as women’s rights:
“I have always felt right about women.” [Link]
and the right to bear arms:
“Of course. Arms should definitely be bared. As often as possible. And shoulders. And even stomachs, especially in a white sari. But only not in Texas. I’ve seen less ‘skirt steak’ on healthy cows.” [Link]
and most importantly, the issue of Obama in a turban:
But Green Card Party candidate and Oscar-attendee Amitabh Bachchan was skeptical. He cited the loose wrapping and the absence of a triangular summit as reasons to believe this impostor’s turban would never go over with the country’s brown constituents.
“The audacity of audacity!” Bachchan told reporters after seeing the photo. “Is this guy trying to make me look bad? [Link]
ennis at 09:33 PM in Humor · 5 comment(s) · Direct link
March 05, 2008
It isn't even April 1st yet!
I love wearing saris. Trouble is, the more unique a sari is, the more memorable it will be. If you wore this to a wedding in May, people will still remember it in June. For those of us who are 3,ooo miles from home and Mama’s saris, that doesn’t leave us with many options, especially if shopping at ISP in Murrland isn’t a palatable idea.
Since I haven’t been back to the pind since 1989 (insert cringe here), and I feel like I’m getting massively ripped off if I buy something on Devon or University Avenue, that only leaves me with one way to get my pleats on; every year, some relative returns from Kerala with a few gifts which my much-adored Chinamma chose for me. She knows that I favor Kanjeevaram…and that her older sister, my Moms, is very conservative. [See: my blouse sleeves, for proof.] Chinamma always sends me something beautiful, and because of her, I haven’t needed to purchase something silky or slinky online. And that, dear mutineers, is why I didn’t see this (click, to enlarge…if you dare):
Good thing our favorite fictionist “Happy No No Place” is alert and intrepid! She discovered this site and solemnly sent it along to me, along with the following pithy statement: “wow”. A few minutes later, when she had recovered her powers of speech, she informed me that she couldn’t reach their “live” customer service, to notify them of the unique item on their sidebar.
Meanwhile, I clicked that link (like you wouldn’t) and saw this:
Oddly enough, the Kanchipuram saris didn’t resemble what I thought they would; they looked more like the “fashionable”, lightweight, embroidered/bedazzled saris. I almost started to worry, but then I relaxed when I realized that the “special link” was how I could procure opulent, heavy silk! I must ask my Tamizzhhlan friends how to pronounce this phrase properly…wouldn’t want to botch it with my ABD accent and all.
anna at 09:25 AM in Fashion, Humor, Musings · 50 comment(s) · Direct link
March 04, 2008
A Trick Question: That's KAH-ree-yah-wah-sum
A quick break here from my Groundviews posts. First, as I said in that last comment thread, the kind people in the bunker said I could stay for awhile longer! I’m excited.
Second, my friend alerted me to a reference to Sri Lanka in a recent SNL skit:
Run the player until about 1:30 before the end, and listen to the foreign policy segment. Yup, that’s a reference to Sri Lanka’s Ambassador Prasad Kariyawasam. He’s Sri Lanka’s permanent rep to the U.N. At least, I think he still is. :)
For those who cannot watch in office (although who reads SM in office? :)), a transcript:
Fake Brian Williams: “All right. With the few remaining moments in the debate, let’s turn to foreign policy.”
[snip: exchange about officials in Russia and Nigeria, and their names]
Fake Tim Russert: Senator Clinton, Sri Lanka’s deputy ambassador to the U.N. Who is it?
Fake HRC: “Oh—oh—it’s Prasad—uh—”
Fake Tim: “It’s a trick question. That post is currently vacant. Senator Obama.”
Fake Barack: [considers thoughtfully for a moment] “I don’t believe there is one at the moment.”
Fake Tim: “Correct!”
That’s KAH-ree-yah-wah-sum, folks. :) As of the end of last month, news stories from reasonably reputable sources were still giving him that U.N. title.
(And it’s Gun-ay-SHAN-an-than, for anyone wondering. Long last names, w00t.)
V.V. at 12:02 PM in Humor · 5 comment(s) · Direct link
February 29, 2008
Twenty-two more hours until the L.A. Meetup! There's still time to flee!
Ennis wanted me to remind you that tomorrow night is the L.A. meetup.
I briefly toyed with the idea of not posting this, just because I like intercoastal chicken* and I’m hyper-competitive about everything. Then I realized that even if the L.A. meetup was dazzling, glorious and fornication-laden…it would still occur in Los Angeles ;)
Please take lots of pictures, the SM Flickr group has been woefully neglected, as has our Facebook album for the SM “group”. Really, you have no excuse, since you’re all going to have your cell phones with you and even the lamest o’ phones now takes pictures, hokay?
So.
Twenty-two hours from now.
316 W. 2nd Street, Los Anjalis, 90012.
Got that?
.
*Why chicken? Well, it can’t be beef, because lots of desis don’t eat red meat. Can’t be pork, because lots of desis think it’s
…
gross
…you thought I was going to say “haram”, didn’t you? HA. Suckers.
anna at 09:15 PM in Humor, Meetups! · 20 comment(s) · Direct link
Timberlake in a banana hammock? I'm there!
Behold, the trailer for “The Love Guru” (tagline: His karma is huge). I have mixed feelings, because I really lurve Mike Myers; I quote something from Goldmember almost daily. But, as familiar and fun as the shrimp/gnome scene in this trailer is (“Moleee Moleee Moooole”, anyone?) seeing Myers travel around on a pillow, flying carpet-ishtyle made me want to smack someone.
Plot nugget below:
Pitka (Mike Myers) is an American raised by gurus who returns to the USA in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge: To settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of star Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) whose wife Prudence (Meagan Good) left him for rival skater Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake). [wiki]
We should totally do a meetup on June 20th, so we can shriek about what offended us, afterwards. ;)
p.s. Thank you to lion and astrosmurf, for the tip!
anna at 11:55 AM in Film, Humor, Theater · 43 comment(s) · 1 reader(s) linked · Direct link
February 14, 2008
NBC gets real with Desis, for Valentine's Week
Sugi’s post on how to make babies who will possess certain characteristics via Sarkai lo khatiya jaada lage on prescribed days of the month (with both of you keeping your eyes open, got that? no eyelash fluttering out of unbearable ecstasy) is so much more mutinous than what I’m going to post, but I believe in diversity, so while she brought the funny, I’m bringin’ the schmaltz. No, not schmaltz as in rendered goose fat which can be spread on bread as is done in German and Jewish cuisine, schmaltz as in the unbelievably literal “Every Kiss begins with K”-schmaltz.
Still with me? No? Perk up. It’s tea time, lovers.
Last night, I watched “Deal or No Deal, for the first time, ever. That show is mesmerizing with its repetition and stupidity. I wanted to tell the firefighter whom they were featuring that his response of
$100,000…wow…that could do a lot…it’s like, two years salary
in response to Howie’s ridiculously leading question
How would that change absolutely everything for you and your pregnant wife, who has to put up with you working two jobs?
was actually incorrect, since taxes would eat nearly half that amount and so it was really more like ONE year of his salary, but whatevs.
Though I had an hour to waste, I still couldn’t understand why I was watching such garbage while waiting for my dirty-little-secret-TV-cocktail of “Super Nanny” and “Cashmere Mafia”— which is on an entirely different network. But you know what mutineers? It turns out that everything happens for a reason.
During one of the commercial breaks on NBC, my browndar went off like police sirens in Adams Morgan on a Saturday night. Through my keen peripheral vision, I saw a brown face sinking and then looking up. I whipped my head around (oww) and realized that some random Desi had just proposed to their future Karva-Chauth-hostage (KIDDING).
What the-?
Visit NBC.com/Love for more about this couple…sponsored by Kay Jewelers…every Gambia-Senegal session after Applebee’s begins with Kay…
Well, that’s not how they ended their come-on, but they totally should have. I was typing “random marriage proposal NBC” in to my Google toolbar but when I overheard this, I dutifully jumped…to an awful, cluttered page which didn’t work. As in, the desi dude’s links were not active, and his story was not featured, even though they said we could go to this terrible page for more information. LIARS. What is wrong with NBC’s interns? If they need me to come in and consult re: how to get your interns to WORK IT, I’ll see what I can do.
I was irritated. This would have been the perfect Valentine’s Day post! Fine, NBC. Be that way. I made sure that I left that tab untouched in Firefox so I’d remember to check it today…and I did. Lo, the desis were finally visible (is that a metaphor or what). I watched the 5’30” proposal video and I’m not ashamed to admit I was tearing up at the end, even though I don’t really like engagement rings, the getting down on one knee or any of that.
Hey, I’m not heartless! I yenjoy seeing people get deliriously happy…I also once infamously cried during a diaper commercial, so make of that what you will. Anyway, I suddenly LOVED this story, because I found out that Lavina was older than Kabir!
I know, I am the last person who still thinks “the girl being older than the boy” is a big deal, but I totally do, especially when it comes to Desi couples, who often follow my least favorite Aunt’s formula of “4 inches taller, 3 years older, 2 degrees earned”. My obsession with this dynamic is rooted in self-interest; at the wizened age of 33-going-on-dead, I know that I’m far more likely to settle down with someone who is younger than me. The existence of Lavina makes me feel like I’m not the only Cougar prowling for Male Makhni.
If you think I’m weird for my hang-ups, you should know that Lavina wouldn’t judge me:
When Kabir first asked Lavina out, she rejected him because he was a younger guy, even though they’d known each other quite awhile. [NBC]
Quite a while = seven years. He’s 28 and she’s 31. They have been dating for the last 18 months and they are from San Francisco.
It’s all very sweet and before anyone dares to go there, I want to explicitly state that none of the sarcasm in this post is aimed at the blissed out couple— how could I hate on anyone named Kabir or his lady-love who is older than him (and toe tweeee)? If I smirked or snarked, it was a reaction to NBC, their shitty web design and their LYING about the availability of information, which, during this uber-interactive age when I’m never in front of a television without my iBook, I find inexcusable. I am brown. I need my gossip information on demand!
So, huzzah, Kabir and Lavina. And Kabir, props for proposing to the girl you fell in love with so many years ago in such a gorgeous setting; then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from such a suitable boy.
anna at 06:19 PM in Humor · 26 comment(s) · Direct link
February 12, 2008
Evidence of Voter Intimidation
In case you needed to have it pointed out, today was the so-called “Potomac Primary,” where the voters of Maryland, Virginia, and D.C. weighed in on their favorite candidate. My dad was one of the voters who showed up bright and early to get his vote in. I know that one’s ballot should be secret and that this is one of the fundamentals of our Democracy. However, I am a blogger, and our kind is not known for always playing fair. Thus, I will share with you all the first email in my inbox this morning:
from: Dad
to: Abhi
date: Feb 12, 2008 7:27 AM
subject: Hold on to your Dreams * Love ……..Dad
2-12-2008 [0829]
Abhi: I voted for Hillary - an hour ago. I urge you to think positive and hang on to your dreams.
Also please try and select life partner before next January !! Good luck !! Love…. Dad
My primary in Texas isn’t until March 4th. I am still one of those undecided voters that I usually deride during other elections. All my recent energy has been focused on choosing the best candidate to elect to office next January. Now I have another choice to make on my plate apparently. A friend who I forwarded the above email to replied with an insightful remark:
Well, if you think about it, it makes sense. What else happens next Jan? Obama becomes president. So it’s perfect — Abhi will find a life partner when a black man becomes president. See, our dads really do know everything.
abhi at 08:35 PM in Humor, Politics · 51 comment(s) · Direct link
February 11, 2008
Facebook loves us a little too much.
Flying all over the intarwebs is an NYT article about Facebook— and how it is apparently the equivalent of a social networking roach motel; once you check in you can’t check out.
Are you a member of Facebook.com? You may have a lifetime contract. Some users have discovered that it is nearly impossible to remove themselves entirely from Facebook, setting off a fresh round of concern over the popular social network’s use of personal data. While the Web site offers users the option to deactivate their accounts, Facebook servers keep copies of the information in those accounts indefinitely.
The first flummoxed Facebooker quoted by la grey lady is brown!
“It’s like the Hotel California,” said Nipon Das, 34, a director at a biotechnology consulting firm in Manhattan, who tried unsuccessfully to delete his account this fall. “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”
It took Mr. Das about two months and several e-mail exchanges with Facebook’s customer service representatives to erase most of his information from the site, which finally occurred after he sent an e-mail threatening legal action. But even after that, a reporter was able to find Mr. Das’s empty profile on Facebook and successfully sent him an e-mail message through the network.
I understand that Facebook is ostensibly attempting to keep the reactivation process zimble, should one change one’s mind about one’s participation in this timesuck, but one might still find this policy douchey. (Now who has U2 stuck in their head? Just me? Meh. You kids and your tatti taste in music.)
Facebook’s Web site does not inform departing users that they must delete information from their account in order to close it fully — meaning that they may unwittingly leave anything from e-mail addresses to credit card numbers sitting on Facebook servers. Only people who contact Facebook’s customer service department are informed that they must painstakingly delete, line by line, all of the profile information, “wall” messages and group memberships they may have created within Facebook.
I love Facebook for its clean interface, glorious lack of blinking ads* and its illusions of privacy, but I am making the shame-shame gesture towards them for such selfish, self-damaging policies. You know the one. It’s the same one your Aunt made at you, when she caught you happily adjusting yourself too often. Or maybe that was just my little-cousin-who-is-not-related-but-with-only-three-other-desi-families-here-kinda-is.
If MySpaz and my quondam stomping grounds Friendster (2003-2007) let you delete your profile, that gives them one very significant advantage over Facebook. Who cares if you can play Scrabulous if you don’t have the right to walk away from the site? I have friends who are on the fence about joining Facebook and this article has pushed them right off— to the “no, thank you” side. Well-played.
“Most sites, even online dating sites, will give you an option to wipe your slate clean,” Mr. Das said.
Mr. Das, who joined Facebook on a whim after receiving invitations from friends, tried to leave after realizing that most of his co-workers were also on the site. “I work in a small office,” he said. “The last thing I want is people going on there and checking out my private life.”
“I did not want to be on it after junior associates at work whom I have to manage saw my stuff,” he added.
At first glance, it would seem to be in Facebook’s interest to flip us a collective bird, but is it? How much bad press and how many MoveOn.org protests do they want?
“The thing they offer advertisers is that they can connect to groups of people. I can see why they wouldn’t want to throw away anyone’s information, but there’s a conflict with privacy,” said Alan Burlison, 46, a British software engineer who succeeded in deleting his account only after he complained in the British press, to the country’s Information Commissioner’s Office and to the TRUSTe organization, an online privacy network that has certified Facebook.
Mr. Burlison’s complaint spurred the Information Commissioner’s Office, a privacy watchdog organization, to investigate Facebook’s data-protection practices, the BBC reported last month. In response, Facebook issued a statement saying that its policy was in “full compliance with U.K. data protection law.”
If you want help with walking away from things in your own past, walking away from, walking away from things that just won’t last, there is actually a Facebook group devoted to helping you do exactly that; join “How to permanently delete your facebook account” and you/one will discover 4,763 members who feel the same way you do. …
*I hate ads. Much to my elation, this site does not have ads. I want one ad-free oasis in my wirtual life. No eye-bleed-inducing blinking, no weird animation, no pop-under-over-throughs, no offers for NetFlix or 1,728 ugly emoticons. No. Just mutiny, and nothing but some mutiny, k thx bai.
anna at 12:25 PM in Humor, Issues, Tech · 42 comment(s) · Direct link
February 05, 2008
True Conversation with my Mom, 30 Minutes Ago
“HELLO.”
“Well, that was a forceful ‘Hello’…”
“Sorry, Ma. You’ve called three times and each time I picked up, I heard nothing.”
“I have a bad connection, sorry…listen, I have a quick thing to ask you.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Should I vote?”
“WHAT?!”
“Is the primary important? Isn’t the election what matters?”
“Well…the primary is going to determine who will be in those elections, so yes it’s very important. Why are you even asking? GO VOTE, woman. Cheee!”
“I know…I should…”
“Then?”
“Well, I don’t know…”
“About what?”
“Why can’t I vote for who I want?”
“Ma. Clinton is on the ballot. What are you saying?”
“But I have to vote for a Democrat.”
“Ohhh, that-a-way. Yeah, it’s basically a closed primary.”
“That’s not fair.”
“DUDE. You were the one who was all drunk off HRC kool-aid a week ago.”
“I don’t like people telling me who to vote!”
Sigh.
“Ma. Go vote. It’s important.”
“Why?”
“Because California is the most awesome prize of them all. Don’t you want to have a say in that?”
“I guess.”
“A little less enthusiasm, you’re making me wince. Hmm, maybe it’s not a closed primary…wasn’t there something like Prop 189…hold on…oh, you know what, Mummy, it’s not closed—”
“YES IT IS!! They just said on the TV.”
“I’m skimming, I’m skimming…oh, you’re right. Okay fine, it’s a modified-closed…geez, I was a poli-sci major a looong time ago.”
“It’s closed. They said so on the news, right now.”
“Mom, seriously you are confusing me here with your waffling-“
“But what if…”
“What if WHAT, edi Ammay?” **
“What if I want…to…vote…for McCain?”
Sigh.
“You can’t, Ma. You’re a registered Dem. From whence cometh this desire to finally come out of the closet and betray the husband who ordered you to register Dem before you knew or gave two shits about what either party stood for?”
“I like McCain. I always have.”
“You like Hillary, too.”
“I know…but…”
“Ma, listen. It might be really close…I’m swamped with my report, so I’m not up on the latest counts, but I think I heard something about Hill taking her ‘home state’ of New York on NPR…”
“She has Florida, too!”
“Okay then. But remember, Obama is a rockstar with the youths, and with the imprimatur of the Kenned-“
“I STILL think that was wrong of them to do!”
“Ma. Focus. Obama could win. You really don’t like him. That…means…get…off…the…phone…and vote.”
“I guess…I just don’t know.”
“Mommy, I have to go, but I’m going to be really offensive because I know how to move your ass to its civic obligations.”
“How?”
“Every vote counts. If you don’t vote now, a Black, quasi-Muslim might end up in the White House.”
Silence.
“Well, when you put it THAT way…”
“Exactly. You’re a ridiculous Mommy, you know that?”
“Yes.”
“And for the tenth time, Obama’s Christian. And Daddy loved Jesse Jackson and Obama is like, a million times awesomer than Mr. Rainbow.”
“I know, I know he’s Christian…I know what I feel is very wrong…”
“But?”
“Nothing. I have to go vote now.”
“Ma! You are such a racist.”
“I know…I feel bad.”
“Then change who you’ve been for 57 years! I’m kidding. I’m reading stuff on the website about how other kids’ parents feel like you do, whether they articulate it so crudely or not. You’re in one hell of a bigot-sorority.”
“On your website?”
“Yes. On my website.”
“We are a different generation, monay…”
“Yes, yes. Now go cast your vaguely racist vote. I love you despite your shortcomings.”
“I love you too. Don’t stay too late.”
“I won’t.”
“Oooh! Oooh! They’re saying they are running low on Democrat ballots!”
“Okay, and that means you should…?”
“I’m going, I’m going…if I can’t have my McCain, I will take Hillary.”
“Bye Ma.”
“(laughing) Bye…”
::
** Do not try this at home. My parents thought it was adorable that I called them “Edi” and “Ada” as a toddler. Yours might take a Cheena Chatti to your head.
anna at 09:23 PM in Humor, Politics · 74 comment(s) · Direct link
No Exclamation Points Were Harmed in the Blogging of this Post.
I yam still convalescing, which means I don’t feel guilty for phoning this one in. ;) I love the random, and when Nux2 posted a link on our News Tab to a fabulous pillow you can purchase for your home, and he/she described his/her find as “random”, I was on it like Oprah on Obama. It’s mutinous because the pillow has Bollywood on it! And it’s just a mere $19.99? Wheee! Fire up the maroon Camry and let’s go!
Bombay blockbuster. Coming to a sofa or chair near you. Bollywood film clip, remastered in black and white on 100% cotton. Hidden zipper closure; feather-down insert. Machine wash. Imported. [CB2]
If you’re a fraudulent brownie like me who neither speaks Hindi (mein kya karoon?) nor watches Bollyfun, you probably won’t know that the gorgeous woman whose face will soon be under some hipster’s ass* is BhanuRekha Ganesan, the effulgent star of the legendary phillum Umrao Jaan (“the real version”, which came out in 1981 when I was six).
If you click the picture above, you can see a huge version of it, to better appreciate the edginess of it all. Once you do that, you might find yourself considering the severed hand tchotchke I’ve included a screen shot of(“adaa hand sculpture”), which is a steal at just $49.95. Think of all the money you’re saving by not buying the whole body!
One in the hand. Is worth a lot of design karma. Adaa, aka “the charm,” gestures in classical Nritya dance form. Exaggerated sculpture in dark cast sandstone/resin suggests perfect harmony, perfect balance…perfect soap dish? [CB2]
Hold up, wait a minute— how am I offended? Let me count the ways. This sculpture is “dark”, and thus obviously not representative of desi mores. Why isn’t it fair? What if people who read that think it’s African, and thus confuse us with people we may or may not be darker than, yet still consider ourselves superior to?
And why is it considered exaggerated? Don’t impose your Americanized-Westernized-PseudoSecular norms on us! We’ll do with our fingers whatever we choose! Maybe we’re not exaggerated…maybe the terminal members of the copywriters’ hands are repressed!
And why does the word “karma” have to pop up in everything? About the only thing CB2 got right was the soap dish bit. Of course a desi hand would be holding soap! We have a never-ending tape in our head, starring our Mother’s voice hissing, “Cheee!” at regular intervals; obviously, we wash our brown— but not dark! Well, unless you’re a fellow Lemurian— hands often.
Maybe I’m being too harsh on CB2, which is Crate and Barrel’s “younger” incarnation. For all I know, some of you might have these objects in your home. Who am I to judge you for that? If I am so petty, it is entirely possible that my design karma will bite me in my callipygian kundi and you will mock me for my abiding fondness of this humble object, should you ever visit. Hmmm, I wonder if Swedes think we’re odd for buying their amusingly-named furniture…
*Am I the only one who is supremely grossed out when people sit on pillows, especially bed pillows? Especially someone else’s bed pillows?? I don’t want your ass where my face later goes, thanks.
anna at 09:14 PM in Humor · 28 comment(s) · Direct link
January 31, 2008
Engineers = Evil
Every now and then you come across a new study or news article that really just hits home. It helps provide some “professional” or “scientific” insight into something that you always kind of suspected but could never quite properly articulate to yourself. I came across just such an article today (and the study behind it
) and it has me re-examining myself (and many of my friends) in a new light:
Is there a thread that ties engineers to Islamic terrorism?
There certainly is, according to Diego Gambetta and Steffen Hertog at Oxford University, who recently published a paper titled, “Engineers of Jihad.” The authors call the link to terrorism “the engineer’s mindset.”
The sociology paper published last November, which has been making rounds over the Internet and was recently picked up by The Atlantic, uses illustrative statistics and qualitative data to conclude that there is a strong relationship between an engineering background and involvement in a variety of Islamic terrorist groups. The authors have found that graduates in subjects such as science, engineering, and medicine are strongly overrepresented among Islamist movements in the Muslim world. The authors also note that engineers, alone, are strongly over-represented among graduates who gravitate to violent groups. [Link]
One risk factor alone usually does not provide cause for worry (although I do have two engineering degrees). However, when combined with other risk factors such as this one that I had previously written about, you can imagine why I have decided to do some real soul searching. I mean, us engineers do have a lot of things in common with terrorists besides the fact that there are a lot of South Asian engineers and quite a few South Asian terrorists. For example, both groups hope that there are virgins in the afterlife (cause there definitely ain’t many women in engineering school). Both groups also stay home on Friday nights and have time to become increasingly bitter.
However, contrary to popular speculation, it’s not technical skills that make engineers attractive recruits to radical groups. Rather, the authors pose the hypothesis that “engineers have a ‘mindset’ that makes them a particularly good match for Islamism,” which becomes explosive when fused by the repression and vigorous radicalization triggered by the social conditions they endured in Islamic countries. [Link]
I wonder if people that know me think I have an “engineer’s mindset.” I will now have to suppress it by pretending to be intellectually lazy and incurious. How do you liberal arts and business majors do it so well?
But the story gets even worse. It doesn’t matter where you live or how well you have it. Engineers EVERYWHERE are evil.
The authors note that the mindset is universal.
Whether American, Canadian or Islamic, they pointed out that a disproportionate share of engineers seem to have a mindset that makes them open to the quintessential right-wing features of “monism” (why argue where there is one best solution) and by “simplism” (if only people were rational, remedies would be simple). [Link]
Our resident scientific statistician, the commenter “Razib,” will no doubt leave several comments validating the scientific methodology used it this study. As a scientist (my other degree) I have to say I agree with their methodology also. However, it would be simply unscientific of me if I didn’t point out some of the criticism of their body of work:
The duo also cite Wikipedia. (Honest, they really do - note 4, page 4.) Based on this rigorous trawl, they decide that 196 of the 404 jihadis had “engaged in higher education at some point”. Within the 196 possibly-educated terrorists, the two surfer-sociologists identify the subject of study in 178 cases.
The degree that came “first by far” among the 178 graduate jihadis, according to Gambetta and Hertog, was engineering - with 78 of their sample group supposedly so qualified.
They speculate that the type of mindset who tends to become an engineer - apparently, conservative and religious are two of the markers - will also tend to become involved in Islamic terrorism.
In fact, the pair have had to push their little data set quite hard to get that many into the “engineering” box. The sociologists’ definition of engineering includes architects (as distinct from civil engineers), all “computer related studies”, town planning, “other” (which includes “rare subjects”) and 36 terrorists where the type of “engineering” studied was unknown.
If you strike out all the architects, computer-studies guys and other random inclusions among the 42 cases where the precise subject is known, and apply the same ratio to the other 36, you come out with just 44 real engineers among the 178 jihadi graduates.
That still leaves engineers 29 per cent more numerous than the next biggest of the sociologists’ arbitrarily-defined groups, the “Islamic Studies” grads. However, the groups are pretty random. If you rearranged them a bit, it would be easy to create one bigger than the engineers.
For instance, if one were to define a group consisting of literary, history, social services, philosophy, media, education, business, architecture, psychology and town-planning graduates - call it the “fuzzy studies” group, chuck in the sociologists too - it would come out at least 50 strong, probably outnumbering the engineers and hard sciences groups put together. [Link]
I think the above “critique” is just a shameless trashing of valid sociological findings in order to sound funny. In any case, if you know any engineers, please report them. But not me please, I am trying to change my mindset for the good of us all.
abhi at 11:17 PM in Humor, News · 70 comment(s) · Direct link
January 29, 2008
Bolly gets pwned by the Mouse
Bollywood must be reeling from the disrespect paid to it by its smaller cousin in California. It’s not bad enough that the Hindi version of Spiderman 3 broke box office records in India, outgrossing domestic productions with a clear ripoff of Indian cinema complete with Tobey Maguire’s Bollystyle costumes, dancing, and hair acting. But to make matters worse, Disney has been muscling in on Bolly’s home turf, the absurd movie musical.
In an audacious move akin to bringing coals to Newcastle, Disney released High School Musical (1) with songs and dialogue dubbed into Hindi in 2006. The new release involved a few subtle changes that revealed how well Disney understands Indian film audiences:
Consider “Bop to the Top,” the title of a song from the first movie. In India, one of Disney’s most important foreign markets, the phrase was changed to “Pa Pa Pa Paye Yeh Dil,” which the company said roughly translates to “the heart is full of happiness” in Hindi. A Hindi translator contacted by The New York Times said: “It’s sort of like a Duran Duran song. The words sound sexy but mean nothing…” [Link]
The dubbed version of HSM did well enough that now Disney is releasing the sequel, High School Musical 2, with an entirely Indian cast. It’s just one of many versions of HSM2 with local casts - you can see them displayed in this medley of different adaptations of HSM2 from around the world.
Below is the climatic song in the all-desi HSM2, Aaja Nachle, the replacement for “All for One” in the American version of HSM2:
The song is a hit worldwide:
According to Nielsen Media Research, more than 1.5 million children age 6 to 11 watched “Aaja Nachle.” Even in a foreign language, children “can feel what they’re saying,” Ms. Sweeney said. [Link]
The Indian film industry is taking Disney’s blatant neo-imperialism very seriously, and is launching a counter-strike. They have announced that SRK will star in a completely naturalistic biopic of Dalip Singh Saund’s life to be released for American markets, saying that anything Miramax can do, they can do better. 
ennis at 07:09 PM in Arts and Entertainment, Business, Humor · 28 comment(s) · 1 reader(s) linked · Direct link
January 22, 2008
Indian Men Dig Mills & Boon Too
Via the Literary Saloon, an article in the Economic Times on the upcoming formal distribution of Harlequin Mills & Boon romance novels in India. These novels have of course been available in South Asia for many years — but mostly via redistribution and consignment. It’s only now that Harlequin is planning to start distributing its books in India directly:
For most Indian readers, it will come as a surprise that M&B was never actually distributed in India. The novels have been so much a part of our lives, stacked in the hundreds in circulating libraries, borrowed dozens at a time by women (especially in hostels, where the trick was for one girl to borrow them and ten to read them the same night), laid out for sale second hand on pavements.
We’ve seen the special sections in large bookshops, shelves aching with romantic desperation, anguish and fulfillment. We’ve fantasised about the busty heroines and tall dark handsome heroes on the covers. We knew about all the different varieties of novels: nurses, Regency, exotic settings and so on. And exactly how we knew all this we would never say since like most people we would never admit to reading M&B.
But all of this was achieved with Harlequin ever selling directly. “We had some idea about this market, but we never really followed it up,” admits Go. “At the Frankfurt Book Fair, we would meet Indian distributors who would offer to take on consignments and we never bothered beyond that.” (link)
Interestingly, Harlequin is finding that Indian men are just about as likely to be Mills and Boon fans as women:
What he wasn’t expecting were the men, “A substantial percentage of Mills & Boon readership in India is male! You don’t see that in other markets.” Go has speculations on why this is the case. Perhaps it’s just the sheer ubiquity of M&B novels, “Their sisters and mothers are reading them and since they are lying around the men read them too.” (link)
(Come on, desi guys — I know you’ve read a few of these. MoorNam? Floridian? Now is the time to come clean.)
Finally, the author of the piece asks an obvious question on my mind from the start — what about the desi version:
But the interesting question is whether, as with FMCG products, M&B will see the need to Indianise their offering. When even a Kentucky Fried Chicken has to offer a chicken curry thali to survive in India, will M&B be able to continue with its offering of Western-oriented romance fiction? Or is this sort of escapist fiction exactly its appeal? (link)
(“Tall, dark, and handsome” might have to become “fair and handsome” in the Indian context. And maybe they could still use Fabio on the cover, only with Shah Rukh Khan’s hair style?)
Incidentally, I have long wanted to write my own pulpy romance novel to make some quick cash, but I’ve been starved for a good (desi-oriented) plot. Can anyone suggest a good scenario for me to use, as I attempt to enter the world of trash fiction popular romantic fare? (The best I can think of right now is an Indian version of this plot. Hopefully I can come up with a better title than “The Rancher’s Doorstep Baby,” however)
amardeep at 03:49 PM in Humor, Literature · 104 comment(s) · Direct link
January 13, 2008
Prêt-à-Porter for Boyz
Quick, when was the last time I wrote a blog entry on the topic of high fashion for SM? Do some of you view me as a mere niche blogger who only writes about Antarctic exploration or freaky kids? These days, bloggers must remain sufficiently versatile so as to compete in a cut-throat business, one where the profit margins are razor thin and the trolls are out with knifes. And so I bring you news of designer Marc Jacobs’ spring/summer 2008 line (thanks for the tip “Meenbeen”):
Marc Jacobs can do anything he wants now. He’s even feeling confident enough to open up about a troubled private life that he once kept very private. And one expression of that confident spirit is the injection of willfulness he’s given to his collections. It’s a definite boon to the menswear in his second line, which can occasionally seem a little too close to the contents of College Boy’s closet. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but Jacobs has proved himself a virtuoso at distilling the talents of his various collaborators, and he has some keen ones at M. by M. We could rightly expect a little more. With this latest effort, we got it.
The menswear took the mixed-up, mumbled-up, shook-up world that Marc presented for his signature Spring collection and toned it down to one key discombobulation: asymmetry. [Link]
The above review was written during 2007’s Fashion Week in NYC. Since the majority of the clothes-buying-public didn’t attend Fashion Week, they will mostly base their opinion of his men’s clothing line on print ads seen in prominent men’s magazines, and based on the reviews of prominent fashion bloggers like myself. Some of you may recognize one of the models he has chosen to show off his new men’s line: the musician M.I.A. Below each photograph I will comment on the effectiveness of these ads from the perspective of a male with a disposable income.
In the above picture M.I.A. poses like that one potential child molester uncle in the family who the relatives all shield their kids from. Her clammy skin and disheveled hair seem to scream, “what!?” and I imagine that in the next frame (had it been published) her head and chest would have been lurching forward as she said just that into the camera. This look would suit a stockbroker or I-banker, the kind who will never be the best in his field, but has some cocaine to party with after work…so its all good. And those hands. Greedy, clutching, talon-like hands that will find a way to collect what’s coming to them. All things eventually find their way into those hands so you may as well just “give it up” without a struggle. Belt not needed for a look like this (in case you were wondering). The man wearing those pants shouldn’t have to be bothered with a belt anyways. Those pants need to be easy to pull down and easy to put on in a hurry when he needs to sneak out. And he sneaks out often. The tie? The subliminal message being sent by this ad is that even if you think the tie is ugly, you can still use it for something else. Like to tie something in place. Utilitarian clothing is in for 2008. [As a side note, this is the most attractive I’ve ever seen M.I.A. look, and I’ve seen her up close. I kept looking to see if there was a wire leading from one of those red sockets at the bottom left of the photograph, into her, to make her so electric].
What I like most about this shot is that with those juicy puckered lips and cocksure tilt of the head, M.I.A. captures the attitude you’d have to exhibit if you (a male) wore this outfit while grocery shopping on a Sunday, just as neighborhood churches were letting out. The jaws of young mothers navigating the produce section would drop open and they wouldn’t know whether to cover their children’s eyes or their own, as you gently squeezed the Roma tomatoes (needed for your vegetarian sandwich) to ensure proper ripeness. As you moved on to the frozen food aisle the goosebumps on your legs would stand at attention. You’d probably have to rub your hands together real fast and then touch your legs to warm them up, the way Pat Morita did to Daniel-san in The Karate Kid. By that time this one PTA mother, who seems to always be lurking at this grocery store, would have alerted the store’s rent-a-cop about your “provocative clothing.” Lucky for you the rent-a-cop is a woman who appreciates a man with good fashion sense. To placate “PTA mom” she offers to take you in the back to check your drivers license…or whatever. She gets off work in ten minutes anyways and is both a vegetarian and hungry. Marc Jacobs is on to something. I’m always looking for the perfect grocery shopping outfit.
This photograph, from as best as I can tell, is part of the same ad campaign. At first I didn’t understand because I don’t see any men’s clothing in this entire ad. And then, finally, I grasped the genius that is Marc Jacobs’. In this photograph M.I.A. is posing as a men’s “accessory.” If I dressed up in either of the two outfits featured about above, I would need a beautiful woman like this hanging off my arm, left nipple peaking out with confidence, daring someone to make a comment so she can slap them upside the head with that gold hand bag as she says, “and who gave you permission to look?” I would chime in with a “yeah punk. Don’t be looking at my girl’s chest.” I also like the fact that photographer Juergen Teller was able to capture M.I.A. in a shot where it looks like she has a “man arm” (as opposed to man hands). I’ve always appreciated women with strong muscular arms who’d be able to kick the ass of any other women that might be vying for my much sought after attention. And believe me, in a Marc Jacobs outfit, many women would be vying for my attention.
Finally, there is this shot above. Anna insisted I include this because unlike me, she didn’t find the Marc Jacobs ad campaign very effective…except for this lone picture which she found redeeming. I’m not sure. I hate to disagree with Anna (whose fashion credentials are legendary) in a public forum but I think that any fashion ad should really highlight either clothes or accessories. It is possible that if we were able to pan down M.I.A. might be wearing some tighty-whitey underwear that I would find appealing. This shot however, features only one mustard colored shirt and a magnifying glass. As a man, I don’t find a magnifying glass a very useful accessory (and I surely don’t want a magnified image of the inside of her mouth). Underwear is a must though, and so I wish we saw at least one ad featuring M.I.A. in the type of tighty-whiteys I’d consider wearing around the apartment after work.
In any case, I hope you enjoyed my fashion review. Since I am not known for my fashion reviews on this website, this is the last one you will probably see for a while.
abhi at 08:07 PM in Fashion, Humor, Music, Musings · 55 comment(s) · Direct link
January 11, 2008
Another freaky Indian kid
Title says it all. Here is something to think about on the drive home or to discuss with your friends over a beer tonight:
Roller-skating under cars might seem impossible, but it is the latest craze among kids in India and requires the flexibility, strength and balance of a gymnast.
Six-year-old Aniket Chindak holds the unofficial world record for ‘limbo-skating’ and speeds along no more than eight-inches above the ground.
Unfolding his body from his eye-watering position, the wonder-kid explained proudly how he is training to break his own world record of skating under 57 cars in 45 seconds. [Link]
He is like a human transformer. He goes from upright human to some sort of crazy airplane looking thing. Unfortunately, like all other successful child freaks, he will probably go on to face disappointment in a business that exploits youth to provide blog and media fodder.
abhi at 06:36 PM in Humor, Kids, News · 20 comment(s) · Direct link
January 10, 2008
A mind, a blog, and a vast emptiness
We often receive emails like the one below at the lonely North Dakota bunker that serves as Sepia Mutiny’s world blogging headquarters:
…I’d like to reach a wider audience and would really appreciate if you could link [to] my blog.ps - I’m pretty good at keeping my site updated. Please take a look!
Thanks much!
To this, our standard response (if we have time to write one) is a polite “please read our F.A.Q.” But when I read the above email from a blogger, writing from a lonely bunker of his own, with nothing but his science and his blog…well, I’m not made of stone people. I’m quick to recognize a kindred spirit when I see one.
Plus, this guy’s research has direct bearing on my own work and career aspirations (and might save me some day):
I am a resident of Delhi, India, and a psychiatrist by profession (heal the mentally unwell). I’m also fond of the great outdoors, and cultures around the world. I’ll be spending 3.5 months in Antarctica winter of 2008, doing research at the Indian base station. Thru this blog, I hope to keep my friends and family updated on my stay in this incredible land.
—Sudhir Khandelwal [Link]
Of course he is going to be “good about updating his site!” What else does he have to do? :)
First, let’s let Sudhir explain, through his blog, why he is down in Antarctica:
I started thinking of Antarctica seriously after my expedition to Kailash-Mansarovar in the summer of 2006. It was Chitra, in fact, who perhaps jokingly asked me what next after Kailash Mansarovar! Antarctica? And then there were others who had visited Antarctica as members of the Indian Scientific Expedition encouraging me to submit a research proposal to the National Centre for Antarctic and Ocean Research, under the Ministry of Earth Sciences. I proposed to study the longitudinal changes in the general and psychological health of expedition members who stay in Antarctica for short-term (3 months) and long-term (15 months) along with their coping strategies including tobacco and alcohol consumption. After being short-listed, I was called to make a presentation, and to my extreme joy I was informed in August, 2007 to get ready for joining the Pre-Antarctica Induction Training programme of two weeks starting mid-September at Auli in Garhwal Himalayas under the Indo-Tibetan Border Police. [Link]
One of the seminal works about the psychological effects of long term isolated expeditions is a book I read years ago titled Bold Endeavors : Lessons from Polar and Space Exploration. Clinical observation of mental health (mental breakdown and group dynamics) during Antarctic expeditions, as well as long term submarine deployments, helps to inform NASA astronaut training as well as crew selection for the International Space Station (and eventually Lunar and Mars missions). Simply put, when you keep people isolated as a small group (and it is freezing outside), they start to get irritable. Studying that breakdown is of major importance. Look what happened just two weeks ago:
Without releasing names, the National Science Foundation, which runs the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, confirmed that two men had to be evacuated from the base Christmas Day after what one person characterized as a “drunken Christmas punch-up.”A C-130 Hercules military transport plane had to be dispatched from McMurdo Station, the main U.S. research base far to the north on the Antarctic coast, after one of the men suffered a broken jaw.
“There was an altercation between two people,” National Science Foundation spokesman Peter West told the New Zealand Herald. “There’s no indication of the cause or of the background between the two folks…” [Link]
Of equal importance in these studies is identifying and documenting the traits that some people possess that prevent them from breaking down like most would. I mean the natural-born-leader-types who always remain calm, collected, and stay focused on the mission at hand.
The ITBP instructors did their job of physically training us and giving us theoretical and practical demonstrations on hills and glacier with their customary sincerity and zeal. I have earlier experience ITBP personnel’s devotion and dedication in ample measures during my expedition to Kailash Mansarovar. They not only provided security and helping hand during some difficult treks and while crossing fast flowing river streams, but their presence alone was a big comfort.
I had a great time with young scientists of the group. They represented different fields about which I knew very little. But it was heartening to listen to their animated discussion on subjects like astrophysics, space physics, troposphere, ionosphere, geomagnetism etc. It appeared India’s future was secure in their hands. Some terms sounded familiar, but I was totally dumbfounded by a specialty called Limnology. I had not heard of it before. Want to hazard a guess what it is about? Well, it is the physical, chemical and biological study of water. [Link]
I am captivated by his many descriptions of the science conducted/discussed by his colleagues because of my own space and geology background, but I am equally captivated by his interpersonal observations:
Lot of activities going on now in Maitri. All scientists who are only for summer period are setting up their instruments and planning field visits. Though I have spent 2 weeks with many of them during Auli trip, however, now I feel I am senior to them; I almost feel as if they are intruders on our premises and facilities. I wonder if 26th team also felt that way when we came. May be not, since we came heralding their countdown for departing to India. How soon man starts claiming rights over anything which is not his even by any stretch of imagination.Last night there was a movie, ‘Bhul-Bhulaiyyan’ starring Vidya Balan, Akshay Kumar and Shiney Ahuja. It is a remake of a Malayalam/Tamil movie of Priyadarshan. It is about multiple personality and Akshay Kumar plays a psychiatrist. Hence I stayed back for watching the movie. This evening I held an informal and small discussion group on Bollywood and multiple personality. People want me to hold such discussion groups regularly. I am not sure; I may ruffle some feathers. [Link]
I’m more than a little jealous of Sudhir’s assignment. A few of my co-workers have been down there and I might still get the chance to go someday. For now it is good to learn vicariously. For those of you that liked V.V.’s food post from yesterday, here is some more “food blogging:”
People coming here for summer or winter period develop all kinds of food fads in Antarctica. The Indian station, Maitri, has practically all varieties of food suiting every taste. I was surprised to find ‘gur’ (jaggery) here, though, it does not enjoy any popularity. I am its lone consumer. When ship comes here every December/January, it brings loads of food supplies to last till next one year. However, fresh fruits and vegetables last only for a few months and then it is all frozen stuff…Current fads among many members of 26 Team are maggie noodles and eggs. They are now sick of eating frozen vegetables and daal (lentils) for last many months. So you frequently see them boiling maggie noodles or frying eggs. Packaged fruit juices still remain popular with most of the members. They all believe it provides quality vitamins. So they consume it 3-5 times a day. They are oblivious of the effects of preservatives, chemicals or sugar in it. Most of them have a habit of drying their paratha or poori with tissue before consuming; it is another matter that they would later put pure ghee on their chapaati or in daal. [Link]
Although Sudhir doesn’t realize it yet, I am adding an entirely new dimension to his research by writing this post. Chances are that like me, a few of you will find his blog interesting and start reading it often. His readership will grow from the few friends and family that currently visit, to one much larger. Then, he will feel the curse of the blogger: The need to satisfy the masses and the sometimes terrible consequences that follow. Then, he will have two psychiatry papers to publish instead of just one. I’m willing to sacrifice him in the name of science.
abhi at 12:03 AM in Humor, Musings, Science and Technology · 28 comment(s) · Direct link
January 08, 2008
Cricket: Ponting tells on Singh, is now that annoying kid we all hate for being lame.
It was a dark and stormy night. That’s a lie. It was a mild and unseasonably warm night and I was almost asleep, lulled away by Heidi Klum’s and Niki Taylor’s voiceovers on Bravo.
Then, something insane happened; I received a reality-bending email. But first, some unnecessary prattle back story.
From age 0-3.5, I had a much-adored stuffed bear, like most children my age. Unlike most children, my bear was named Babu, which totally proves that kids born here in the early to mid seventies might as well have been popped out “back home”. Anyway, Babu was wonderful as a confidante, hugging partner and drool-catcher…until we moved to San Francisco. Somewhere between Southern California and Northern, Babu disappeared, never to be seen again.
Last night, dazed and confused by exhaustion, I checked my email one final time…and did a sleepy double-take. There, in my inbox…Babu. The only justification I can offer for thinking what comes next is, um, Benadryl. “My Babu reached out to me from beyond!”, I gasped, and he did so via GMail no less:
Hi Anna,
It’s the biggest story happening in Indian Cricket and you are not covering it….that’s not right :)
Feed your cricket hunger with the story. I’m not sure if you are aware of the suspension of an Indian cricket player over racial abuse. This has created a cricket war between India and Australia. and YOU should write about it.
It has high drama, fight for honor, millions of dollars at stake and the big Indian ego Vs Australian. Australian media is supporting India as well :)
Link, link, link and link.
Well, I didn’t wanna vote in News tab and wait….hehe.. :D
~Babu
Babu, after absorbing tears, snot and Lord knows what else, this is the least I can do.
All right people.
The cricket post I have received eleven requests for (not counting the above-pasted, impassioned plea from my bear) is up next.
India’s cricket team stayed in its hotel in protest Monday after one of its players was penalized for allegedly using a racial slur during a match against Australia.
The Board of Control for Cricket in India plans to challenge the “the unfair decision” by the International Cricket Council to suspend Harbhajan Singh for three matches because it said he made racist remarks to Australia’s only black pla