That’s what I was diagnosed with two weeks ago, and while at this point I’m simply festering with a secondary infection, I’m still at home, sick. This means I actually have a moment to gasp BLOG. So 55Friday it is.

I know we have many newer Mutineers who may be unaware of the history behind this writing game, so a brief introduction seems apposite. On Fridays, I used to choose a theme and write a post which invited you, our readers, to create a piece of flash fiction (a very, very short story). Each submission was to have exactly 55 words: no more, no less (see: wiki). That (and the theme, if one chose to follow it) was all that constrained creativity.

The last time I posted a 55Friday, we received some flashes of greatness. Here’s one from commenter Non-sequitur; it was a bit of a run-on, but who cares, he fit a whole story in a single sentence with exactly 55 words!

Thomachen couldnt buy the Sony TV because his brother Vareechan didnt get paid the last two months because Dubai’s construction boom has evaporated because global investment and demand is down because U.S. banks are going under because the US consumers took home equity loans they couldnt afford because they wanted a Sony Plasma TV.

As another commenter noted afterwards, “wow - Global Economy Meltdown - 101 in 55 words. loved it.” I did, too. See? There’s so much you can do. :) Now whether you want to write about pannis, being ill, Run-D.M.C. (get it? GET IT?), or flu shots going to undeserving evil like Goldman, feel free. In fact, feel so free— because you can ignore the theme completely. We only provide you with them to help. Panni-themed or not, say something via 55 carefully-picked words in the comments below; I can’t wait to read what you’ve written, as I mend.

Who linked:

When Raman Kumar’s Centreville home was burglarized in late February, he became an early victim in a crime spree that has continued across the county and into Loudoun, spiking last month.

“This is no ordinary burglary,” Kumar told the hundreds of residents, as well as numerous police officers and detectives, gathered at Colin Powell Elementary School in Centreville last Thursday, Oct. 29. He said the burglars who have been targeting the homes of South Asian residents for their gold jewelry were obviously well organized and well equipped with sophisticated equipment and information.

Three similar burglaries had been carried out that day, one in Oak Hill, one in Chantilly and another in South Riding, bringing the total to around 30. Two days earlier, two homes in Lorton had been burglarized, as well as one in Centreville and another in Fair Oaks. As in previous cases, the perpetrators broke in through back doors and windows in the late morning or afternoon and ransacked the master bedrooms, making off with gold jewelry, electronics and other valuables. In cases where homes were armed with security systems, those systems have been defeated. Any fake gold has been left behind…

Police believe South Asians are being targeted because they traditionally pass high-karat gold jewelry heirlooms from one generation to the next, and the price of gold now is especially high. Some victims have reported tens of thousands of dollars in losses. [link]

Since desi gold is on our minds, I would like to take the opportunity to address some fundamental “best practices” advice regarding gold within our community. Gold holds a special significance in desi culture and thus, demands a special discussion. I believe the following discussion will be even more useful if it can generate a conversation with our parents, many who are getting up there in age (hint: forward this post to them and see what they think):

1) Take a digital picture inventory of every valuable piece of gold (or otherwise) jewelry in your possession

You have collected a lot over your lifetime, loaned a lot out, and maybe even lost a lot. Take the time to document everything so you know what you have and can communicate to others what you may have had stolen. Plus, I know some of you will like flipping through an album of all your jewelry just because you can. Don’t be ashamed.

2) Estimate and document the rough cost of each piece.

The value is the first thing the police are going to ask about if something gets stolen. Also, if I am your kid and you hope to pass it on to me some day then please know that I don’t know jack about jewelry. $5 or $5000? I won’t have a clue and neither will many others I know. We grew up watching movies like Blood Diamond and Titanic and think all jewelry is either evil or should be thrown into the waters of the north Atlantic as a romantic gesture. Assume I will be fleeced by some charlatan, the kind you are always warning me about, or that I will gift that precious family heirloom to someone at the office White Elephant Christmas party. Or use it as part of a Halloween costume.

3) Write down for me what each piece means to you. Tell me its story.

Did you hide that ring deep in the folds of your sari as you crossed the The Rann of Kutch avoiding dangerous bandits? Was that necklace a gift your father gave you on your 16^th birthday because you finished first in your convent school class? Have those earrings been in the family since the time of Sepoy Rebellion of 1857? I want to know that stuff! That’s where the real worth of your gold lies. How else am I going to understand or appreciate the significance when it is time for me to gift that to your great grandchildren? I care about the story a lot more than the monetary value or “bling” factor.

4) “Divide it up” in the manner of your choosing…before you pass on.

I know this is a tough one because neither of us wants to think about life after you’ve passed on. But we should. Money and greed is the root of much evil. Don’t leave that door open as part of your legacy because it might infect your children. Divide your precious jewelry in any manner you wish but try and make your wishes clear. The last thing your kids need in their lives is a petty squabble over jewelry and family heirlooms, especially if they don’t know the cost or the sentimental significance. They will be happy with whatever you leave them, or even if you ask that it all be donated to charity, but don’t shirk your duty to purposefully and responsibly pass on some of your most cherished possessions.

Any other helpful advice that I am forgetting SM readers?

Who linked:

I knew I had to bring the BROWNSTAR to the Mutiny. I had the chance to hit up Sathya and Pushkar in a gchat interview to ask them some questions about the BROWNSTAR REVOLUTION. Here’s what they said.

Taz: For those of those of the mutiny who may not know, who exactly is BROWNSTAR?

Pushkar: We’re a performance poetry duo, two-man spoken-word show.

Sathya: We’re more than just that though. We’re theatre; we’re comedy; we’re poetry. We like to throw everything into the pot and create something that isn’t always seen on stage.

Taz: How did you get your start? Did you start doing poetry first? Or performance first?

Sathya: I’ve been performing and writing in some way all my life, mostly being a clown for my family, or friends. I was a Drama and Eng Lit major in college, where Pushkar and I met. He directed me in my first show in college. I’m pursuing acting as well as this whole Brownstar thing. Ideally, I like to think of myself as an actor who likes to write poetry on the side.

Pushkar: Our boy just made his film debut—- look out for him in the Aaron Sorkin/David Fincher/Justin Timberlake super movie about… FACEBOOK. BROWNSTARs shining.

But we met at Washington University in St. Louis, when I directed Sathya in a play. I cast him because he had sweet long hair that I wanted but could never grow myself….But I started acting in high school (what up NILES NORTH HIGH SCHOOL— SKOKIE IL) and began directing in college.

Taz: So you guys are both in theatre in college. How did that turn into BROWNSTAR REVOLUTION?

Pushkar: I was looking for something to contrast the standard, slow, Chekhov/Shakespeare or family-fun! musicals they always did at college… And when I read this piece Sathya did for the South-Asian group’s annual Diwali show, I was like “Man, we should write something together.” (I secretly wanted to learn how to write and steal his brilliance.)

Sathya: He basically harassed me for a while about it.

Taz: How did you get convinced?

Sathya: I think it had to do with the fact that Pushkar A) is very convincing and persistent and B) he was right: we talked a lot about how there wasn’t something like THIS out there for young brown/South-Asians… something that speaks directly to them. We had similar experiences growing up and that is important to have with someone you are working with.

Pushkar: Yeah, the fact that we shared this twisted, bizarre, unconventional approach and a similar pop-cultural bank was pretty unique.

Sathya: Truth. Except I get NO Star Trek jokes.

Pushkar: I’m not a trekkie…What was that piece you wrote about Wrestlemania X?

Taz: What was the first piece you did together?

Sathya: It was called “Fuck the Drive Thru.”

Pushkar: It was based on history. My personal experience trying to walk through a Taco Bell drive thru cuz I don’t have a car.

Taz: How did you guys come up with the name BROWNSTAR?

Pushkar: We really liked the Black Star album. Mos Def + Talib Kweli = Black Star).

Sathya: That was the first hip hop album that blew me away.

Taz: Who are your inspirations?

Pushkar: Midnight’s Children is like our bible. Meaning that we’ve written two major pieces that have been heavily influenced by this book- “The Kal Penn 15” and UNIFICATION. And then I wrote a play called “Midnite’s Vultures” that was recently produced in Chicago (xoxo Rasaka Theatre), also influenced by the book.

Sathya: Hip-hop wise I listen to a lot Mos Def, Common, Tribe Called Quest, Pharoahe Monch - those guys know how to make rhythm and language lie next to each other beautifully. They make them work in concert with each other. I dig folk and indie stuff too, such as Sufjan Stevens, Elliott Smith.

Pushkar: Lyrically, I go to musicians who I consider poets. Beck is my guy and (MF) DOOM. Guys that Sathya thinks make no sense.

Sathya: Not that they don’t make sense but …. They make sense on a different plane of existence.

Taz: What about your poetry and play influences?

Sathya: I love Shakespeare. That can’t be said enough. Saul Williams is probably my biggest spoken word influence. Both of them are masters of words and rhythm. Kerouac, Jack Gilbert, Salinger… a spattering of all types of writers and poets - American Romantics to modern writers. People I find myself reading time and time again.

Pushkar: I’ve been really into people who tell stories that aren’t often told. John Leguizamo, whose autobiographical one-man shows “Freak” and “Sexaholix” tell about his experience growing up Latino in America really inspired me. Also, Spike Lee’s “Do the Right Thing”.

Taz: It seems that a lot of your influence is varied - but was wondering if you had any South Asian influences poetically/play/word/music/lyrically?

Pushkar: I think the answer to this question is the reason why we do what we do; we’re trying to encourage other South-Asian artists. There has been some great work out there though: Shishir Kurup’s play “Merchant on Venice,” Tarsem Singh, and Mira Nair showed me how we could make our own kind of powerful art in America. Big respect to Mira Auntie.

Taz: Speaking of Hollywood, you have a controversial piece on Kalpen Modi…?

Sathya: So like Pushkar said, “The Kal Penn 15” is an homage to Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children. In the book, Saleem Sinai is born at the stroke of South Asia’s independence. What happens to the region happens to him. We looked up onto the silver screen, and saw Kal Penn - he was the man. He was our face.

Pushkar: It’s like, whatever happens to him, whether he wins an Oscar or Lindsay-Lohan-cokes-out, will reflect on us.

Sathya: So “Kal Penn 15”, is basically drawing Kal Penn as OUR Saleem Sinai (and by “our” I mean our generation of the South Asian diaspora). We rise and fall with Kal.

Pushkar: Let me just say we respect Kal Penn very much. I think our piece was meant to demonstrate our confused feelings: we have to applaud the guy in “Namesake,” but should we revere the guy who was Taj in “Van Wilder”? It’s like this strange mix of emotions about a man who has been both trail blazer and trail blazed.

Taz: You have one performance piece called UNIFICATION which is about this kid and his confusion around Freddie Mercury… Was that a personal story?

Pushkar: A lot of our stuff is our own experiences adapted for the stage. For me, that piece came from the confusion of being “Indian” with a family that has lived for generations in Pakistan. All my grandparents are from Lahore. Because a new nation was created 60 years ago, does all my history linked to that land get tossed out? And now it isn’t politically “right” for me to associate with Pakistan… We selected Freddie Mercury to represent someone who has lived on multiple fault lines of identity. Plus Sathya really wanted to sing “We are the Champions” on stage.

Taz: Lol. Well you both get to sing it.

Sathya: We could have written a piece called UNIFICATION documenting every historical conflict that Pakistan and India have undergone, but we thought the key was making the political personal. That would get to the heart of what we wanted to say and would get people to listen.

Taz: Speaking of family and personal history, how does your family receive what you do?

Sathya: They think it’s important work. My parents haven’t seen it, but they feel it. My sister and brother in law are number one fans. They get what we are trying to do and they are on board.

Taz: No push to be doctors or lawyers, huh?

Sathya: When I was like in middle school, sure. But they got that there was a passion for something else. It’s not just art for entertainment sake… it’s something bigger and more holistic.

Taz: So I’m curious? Why Boston?

Pushkar: Well, I had a job here and when the Kid graduated in May we needed to reunite. I think things are working well; the community here really cares for us and fosters our work and the college scene out here is great.

Sathya: Get those ISAs and SASAs to bring us out! Show them that brown folks can talk about the issues we face and spark a dialog about South-Asian identity, though I really think at the heart our stuff is an immigrant story. It’s interesting that the more specific we get with our experiences, the more it reaches all kinds of people - they get it even when you’d think they wouldn’t.

Pushkar: We’ve gotten serious love and support from the broader Asian-American community. Special shout out to them. And we would be remiss not to shout out our boy Hari Kondabolu, our guru Giles Li, and the whole BPAC crew.

Taz: So what next for BROWNSTAR?

Pushkar: We’ve got a few things in the pipeline: A) We’re developing a show for the NYC Fringe Festival, B) UNIFICATION II scheduled for Manhattan on Aug 14-15, 2010 and C) An EP celebrating the 25th anniversary of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, called the Temple of Dhoom. And maybe… a west coast tour this summer….

Taz: How can people get a hold of you? See what you got? Invite you to perform?

Pushkar: We’re on Youtube, Facebook…

Sathya: Check out our blog: http://thebrownstarrevolution.tumblr.com or visit us at www.BROWNSTARREVOLUTION.com for info on how to bring us out.

Pushkar: We do conferences.

Sathya: We do weddings.

Pushkar: Truth.

Who linked:

It’s a good thing that the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge reopened this week after freaking out unsuspecting motorists by dropping 5,000 pounds of metal last week. But even if it hadn’t Bay Area indie film fans would have found a way (BART still works, right?) to get to the Seventh Annual 3rd I San Francisco International South Asian Film Festival happening tonight through Sunday, November 5-8. That’s because the festival screenings include some very interesting short films, documentaries, and feature films from South Asia and the South Asian Diaspora. (You can view the SFISAFF trailer after the jump and all the film trailers at thirdi.org and at the end of this post.)

If your time this week/weekend is a miserly taskmaster, you might be wondering which of the films to squeeze in. If instead your time is more like a freewheeling and generous friend, the best answer may be “All of them!”

Yes Madam, Sir, the documentary about India’s first female IPS (Indian Police Service) officer Kiran Bedi, narrated by Helen Mirren, caught my interest. After reading one review’s mention of Bedi “single-handedly” fighting back 3,000 militants “with a wooden stick” during riots, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by this larger-than-life 5’2” kickass cop. She is scheduled to show up at SFISAFF.

Bedi leads a busy retired life these days involved with humanitarian foundations and resolving disputes in a people’s court TV show—one viewer describes her as a less-caustic Judge Judy. But she may be most famous for towing the car of then-Prime Minister Indira Gandhi for illegal parking and for reforming Tihar, the largest prison complex in South Asia. During her tenure as Inspector General of Prisons, she introduced Vipassana meditation for staff and inmates (related SM post) among other award-winning reforms. Australian filmmaker Megan Doneman got permission to make Yes Madam, Sir from Bedi after the supercop had been turning down other filmmakers for 15 years.

“Sambar western” Quick Gun Murugun: Misadventures of an Indian Cowboy sounds tasty in its plot and looks colorful too. One-upping those cavemen who got their own TV show, Cowboy Murugun made the jump to movies from mid-90s ads for MTV-competitor Channel V.

In the badlands of South India, a lonesome vegetarian cowboy, Quick Gun Murugun, attempts to save the world from the beef-soaked machinations of Rice Plate Reddy, a scheming capitalist who plans to take over the world with his McDosa franchise. (thirdi.org)

If the movie cowboy looks familiar, maybe you know him as actor Rajendra Prasad from Telugu films. I think I saw some of Prasad’s filmography pantomimed last month at a cousin’s birthday party when my mom and relatives played movie charades. Director Shashank Ghosh plans a sequel for the film tentatively and deliciously titled The Good, The Bad and The Idli.

For those of you who plan on going to SFISAFF, what films are you looking forward to? And if you’ve seen any already, let us know what you think!

Zero Bridge (Kashmir, USA)
Mad, Sad & Bad (UK)
Iron Eaters (Lohakhor/Eissenfresser) (Bangladesh/Germany)
My Heart Goes Hooray! (Dil Bole Hadippa!) (India)
Bombay Summer (India/USA)
Children of the Pyre (India)
Searching for Sandeep (Australia)
Full Moon (Chaudhvin ka Chand) (India)
Love in India (India/Germany)
Warrior Boyz (Canada)
Supermen of Malegaon (India)
Bay Area short films
Flying (India/USA)
Location/Situatedness Through Memory (Canada)
I Cannot Remember My Mother (USA)
and more…

SFISAFF Tickets and information

Previously: Third I’s Third

Who linked:

Gold prices on Tuesday surged to an all-time high after India's central bank bought 200 tonnes of the precious metal, swapping dollars for bullion as the country's finance minister warned the economies of the US and Europe had "collapsed".

India's decision to exchange $6.7bn for gold equivalent to 8 per cent of world annual mine production sent the strongest signal yet that Asian countries were moving away from the US currency.

Pranab Mukherjee, India's finance minister, said the acquisition reflected the power of an economy that laid claim to the fifth-largest global foreign reserves: "We have money to buy gold. We have enough foreign exchange reserves."

He contrasted India's strength with weakness elsewhere: "Europe collapsed and North America collapsed."

While the amount in question ($6.7B) is relatively small in currency circles (India holds $285B in reserves & China has dollar reserves >$2T), it is a highly symbolic move that their faith in the dollar and/or their need to tie their fate to it may have shifted a few notches of late. What could it mean? ]]>

Well, according to the canary in the coal mine argument, the rationale for shorting the dollar is relatively straightforward -- fiat currencies are ultimately backed up by faith that the issuing government will be able to extract the stated value from its taxpayers over time. For the past 60-odd years, the US dollar has been backed by a stable government and an unmatched per capita GDP and as a result, other countries would often rather prefer to hold dollar reserves than any other currency. For all of Uncle Sam's foibles over the last 60 yrs, you could be reasonably sure that he'd be there in essentially the same shape / form & able to pay up when your 30 yr t-bill came due.

Lately, however, the US deficit picture in particular is a potential signal that the relationship between government and taxpayer is likely to change -

The problem, as Milton Friedman famously noted, is that deficits like this are ultimately resolved by 1 of 3 things -

• Spending cuts
• Increased taxes
• Inflated currency

Far from reducing spending, the Obama administration is emphatically pushing the curve upward (the deficit chart above for ex., most notably does NOT include any of the proposed health plans). To be fair, even the picture for pre-Obama unfunded liabilities isn't very pretty (one guestimate for this figure is $76T - for comparison, our current annual GDP is $14T). He's just arguably making an already bad spending prognosis much worse.

Increased taxes are not only politically difficult but the magnitude of the increases necessary to meet current obligations - much less the new ones - are tough to imagine. The perennial political hope is that a 1980s-esque scenario emerges where an economic growth inflection point drives increased tax revenue without necessarily increasing tax rates (or even, in Reagan's case, more revenue with lower tax rates).

In lieu of either of these scenarios the remaining option, short of default, is currency inflation - basically start the printing presses, grow the money supply, and inflate your way out of debt & other assorted economic liabilities. It's a dangerous but politically expedient option and not something that sovereign 3rd party countries enjoy being on the other side of. Depending on your proclivities, charts like this demonstrate that option 3 is precisely what Uncle Sam has started doing via the ever-expanding Fed balance sheet -

And so, to avoid waking up to a world where the billions of dollars they have in the bank are suddenly worth less, the Indian central bank has potentially decided to place more of its faith in good old fashioned gold. Will other countries follow suit? Tough to say - there are a variety of issues not the least of which is the potential that gold is experiencing it's own bubble and the RBI may have bought at the proverbial top of the market. Perhaps the move isn't a total commitment to an alternative reserve strategy but rather a signal to the US to clean up our fiscal ship?

A Gold Bubble?

The worst case scenario, of course, is that India continues to divest away from Dollars and that the move is copied by other countries - particularly China. Should that happen, the effects on the US would be pretty severe -- $$'s held by other countries in the form of reserves are effectively low interest loans they've extended to us. Without it, servicing our debt would rapidly become our biggest fiscal outlay and any new programs eyed by Congress would become even bigger pipe dreams.

Still, actually replacing the dollar as a long term reserve is far easier said than done - for starters, there simply isn't enough gold out there to truly replace a substantial % of reserves with metal (total annual gold production world wide is ~$90B / yr). So, if you really wanted to drop your $$'s, you'd have to find a different currency to replace it with. And then, the equation gets tough - do you really want to bet that the Govt of China, for ex., will be around in more or less the same shape & ready to pay up when a 30 yr Chinese note comes due? The Euro sounds interesting but its track record is pretty short and the several constituent countries have had a decidedly mixed record managing their currencies. Even worse, many of those countries have fiscal houses that are in far worse long term shape than the US - particularly due to ailing demographics and massive government bloat.

The RBI is following usual central bank protocol and keeping their options open -

A decision by the Reserve Bank of India to buy 200 tonnes of gold from the IMF for 6.7 billion dollars does not reflect a preference for the metal over the dollar, the finance minister said Tuesday.

..The purchase "doesn't mean we don't prefer the dollar any more or like gold any better," Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee told reporters in New Delhi.

Some analysts expect central banks around the world to diversify their holdings and purchase more gold as a shield against a weakening dollar.

On the other hand, maybe all of this shouldn't be interpreted as a reaction to the US as much as a shift in preferences within India. Perhaps the Indian government is just indulging in the well known desi fetish for Gold? Finance Minister Mukherjee notes one particularly emotional trigger that may be at play -

The government today said the RBI's move to buy 200 tonnes of gold from multilateral lending agency IMF provided a healing touch to the nation's pride that was dented about two decades back when the country sold its gold for a few hundred million dollars.

"It has much more significance because for many of you it is not the remote past,... how the sentiments of the country felt outraged when we had to pledge gold to Bank of England just for borrowing few hundred million dollars to maintain our essential import requirement,"

Never underestimate post-colonial rage

Who linked:

The blogs are a buzz with the latest from America’s Next Top Model, Season 13. The short girl season (all the girls are under 5’7), Tyra Banks takes them to Hawaii where she photographs them in a sugar cane field. The twist? She takes the pictures of the girls as “hapas.” Hapa is a Hawaiian term for people who are of mixed race. For the shoot, Tyra gives each of the girls two races that she wants them to embody in the photo. A race other than their own. She paints them all brown and gives them props to achieve it.

The racial mixes — Laura was Mexican and Greek, Erin was Tibetan and Egyptian, Sundai was Moroccan and Russian, Jennifer was Botswanan and Polynesian. and Nicole was Malagasy and Japanese. Who were we gifted with? The model named Brittany was given “East Indian” meets Native American i.e. feather and dot Indian. Fast forward to 6.29 to see Brittany get her face painted. Her picture after the jump.

Is this fashion fantasy? Can skin colour be worn like any other fashion costume? Maybe the reason the wannabe super-models appeared so uncomfortable is because they were truly uncomfortable at pretending to be exotified hapa mixes, or subconsciously knew how inappropriate it might be to pretend to “look like different racial identities.”[schema]

As for the “mixed race clothing,” Tyra says in the clip that the girls are wearing a “fashion interpretation of it” even if the outfits don’t really match what come from the particular race. But, seriously, if you were a hapa Desi and Native American, would you really go around wearing a poorly draped sari and a feathered headgear like that?

And to add to that, the sari is draped over the wrong shoulder. Come on…!

When I saw this ANTM Indian Indian picture, I couldn’t help but think of this Sapna magazine fashion spread from April ‘09, entitled Desi Fashion Gone Wild West. The photos consist of langas and cholis with boots and cowboy hats. I frankly found it absurd. But what if the Desi cowboys photo shoot met the Desi Native American photo shoot? It would take cowboy and Indians to a whole different level.

Sadly, the shoot was Brittany’s last and she was let go at the end of this episode. Apparently it was not strong enough because she “went for something safe” and sometimes “you have to let the art enter and just relax.” Honestly, though, can you blame her?

And a question to the mutinous horde, especially in the post glow of Halloween costumes of geishas, bellydancers, and other oriental wares — is there ever a time where painting face black (or brown, or yellow, or white) is alright? Was Tyra inappropriate in her brown-facing the models, or is this just how the fashion industry works?

Who linked:

I thought the video was amusing, raw, and fun, ending on a spectacular rock star note. And for those who want to see how the movie ended and are curious about the “NSFW” rating without watching the whole thing, I’ll tell you after the jump.

Indian police have allegedly chased Black Lips from the country, bringing the band’s tour to an ignominious end.

The Atlanta, Georgia garage-rockers were in the middle of an Indian tour, playing hotspots such as Bangalore and Mumbai. Barraged with bottles in Pune, the band was a little better received in Chennai, where they were playing the Campus Rock Idol showcase at Sir Mutha Venkata Subbarao Concert Hall.

Unfortunately, this positive reception made them a little feisty. According to one blog, guitarist Cole Alexander stripped and jumped into the crowd, returning to the stage only to snog his bandmates. Such nude antics, at least in Chennai, reportedly qualify as indecent exposure - and soon the band was on the run.

“After the fiasco, which the kids seemed to like, the financial backers of the event were furious and threw us off the tour,” the band explained on their website. “They tried to get security to restrain us until the Tamil police arrived. We locked the door while they were kicking and banging on it. Meanwhile, we slipped out the other emergency exit.”[guardian]

I shouldn’t be surprised that the band had to flee the country, but at the same time, I kind of am. When I was in Delhi a few months ago, I saw a naked man walking down the middle of the street in broad daylight surrounded by his entourage of followers. All the band member did was moon the crowd and grab his crotch. I guess, indecent exposure is a relative term.

Who linked:

She’s young, talented, cute, and smart. Serious about what she does, no ego, respects the roots of the music she loves. In short, she’s amazing, and sepia loves her.

>>burning envy<<

Seriously, though, it’s hard to hate DJ Kayper. She’s just too amazing. We squeed back in September, when Abhi blogged about her gig at the House of Blues in Houston. Taz and the rest of the beantown mutineers tried to catch her Boston show a few days later as the final touch on an fabulous night. Her skills are ridiculous, her taste is excellent, and she’s so low-key it’s always sort of exciting to get to know anything about her.

So of course I tried to get to know all about her. Recently fired off a batch of unconscionably inquisitive questions…and to my immeasurable delight, she answered them all! Even about being a DJ with breasteses!!

So let’s start with the obvious question — how did an Indian girl from Croydon get into hiphop?

I grew up during the golden era of hip hop and was influenced a lot by what my older brother was listening to. He listened to all types of music but in the early ’90s everyone was a fan of hip hop so that’s really how it all started for me.

I started djing properly when I was 12 years old. I had two older cousins that were successful dj’s in the early ’90s and whenever I would go to their houses, I’d always go through their records and watch them mess around on the turntables. I had a fascination with djs and turntables and I really wanted to learn but nobody had the time to teach me so I had to figure it out on my own.

I guess when I started djing, I was very young and had a lot of free time on my hands so I would come home from school everyday and practice for about 3 hours and about 10 hours a day on the weekends. But back then it didn’t really feel like practice, it was just something I did without even thinking. Djing has turned into a full time job for me now so the only times I really get to practice is when I do mixtapes and mixes for my radio show every week which turn into practice sessions when I’m trying new things out.

I read somewhere that you started as drummer before DJing, and also that you can’t swim, and wanted to be an actress and/or a wrestler. Squash/verify these internet rumors, please! Seriously — wrestling?

I did play the drums for about 4 years in high school but because I didn’t have a drum kit at home, I was never able to practice as much as I should have so I was a bit of a crap drummer! Luckily djing took over. I developed a bit of a phobia of water when I had to take swimming lessons in primary school. I hated going in the deep end because it was 11 meters deep but my teacher would always throw me in and then put a stick in the water for me to grab onto. He was harsh!

So I can swim a little but not well enough to not have someone by my side in case I drown. I’ve always wanted to act - maybe someday I will go for it. I never wanted to be a wrestler but I did play wrestling with my brother when I was a kid. It was basically an excuse for him to try out wrestling moves that he saw watching WWF!

On your BBC Asian Network radio show you’ve interviewed some fascinating and high-profile musicians. Who was your favorite guest? Any good behind-the-scenes stories?

One guest that sticks out in my mind is Xzibit. Before I went in the studio to interview him, the record label people told me he was feeling tired and a bit grumpy! He actually turned out to be one of the funniest guys I’ve met. He is exactly what he’s like on Pimp My Ride. I showed him a picture of my beat up VW Polo which was my first car at the time. He looked at it and said “damn! WTF is that, how many times have you crashed?”Then laughed at me hysterically for about a minute.

I’m a great driver!

Very few people get the chance to meet, let alone get to know, their childhood idols. And now you’ve got DJ Jazzy Jeff and DJ Premier on your speed-dial. Is it weird?

The weirdest and coolest thing for me is the fact that they know my name and know that I exist in the world. That’s all I wanted.

What’s your strategy for dealing with people who can’t get over the fact that you’re a DJ who happens to have breasteses? Ever punch anyone for being annoying about it?

Lol - Breasteses! No - I’ve never punched anyone for anything actually. Narrow minded people have always made me want to be a better DJ because I’m a very competitive person and always like proving people wrong.

[Snip]

We love that your previous mixtape was called Bring Back Yo! MTV Raps! I remember staying up late with friends to watch the show. If MTV, um, had another music video show — what would you like to see on it?

To be honest, I don’t think another music video show would work on MTV anymore. Music videos back in the day used to be iconic but these days, record labels don’t want to put the kind of money they used to put in for videos, hence the reason why there’s not a lot of music videos that stick out anymore. So now we have a new generation of kids that are growing up with a lack of appreciation for music, music videos and more of an interest in reality TV.

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Read the full interview (15 questions) here for more rumor verification, the best songs to get a crowd moving, city/club recommendations, ASIMO the humanoid robot, Kayper’s next heist (harhar) and more.

EXTRA: DJ Kayper’s top 5 non hiphop music video picks! Very surprising, some of these. She danced on the couch to Prefab Sprout. (??!!!) There, I just gave it away.

Who linked:

On November 4th, the movie Vincent Who? will be making it’s Los Angeles premiere. This documentary was developed and produced by the folks over at Asian Pacific Americans for Progress, and if you are in Southern California I highly recommend that you come.

Over 25 years ago, the hate crime murder of Vincent Chin in Detroit galvanized the Asian American and Pacific Islander community. This new 40-minute documentary, winner of the Media Award from the National Association for Multicultural Education, looks back at the movement that started from the case and asks how far we have come and how far we still need to go.[apap]

The story of Vincent Chin’s horrible murder is an important historical event marking how hate crime policies developed for the APIA community. The movie traces the event and how little is remembered about this landmark case. Chin’s story is one that as South Asian Americans, we can all relate to. Every few months it seems another story of a hateful crime against a South Asian comes through the Sepia Mutiny bunker. It feels repetitive to write stories about hijabs getting pulled, brass knuckle beatings, or the murder of 26 yr. old Satendar Singh for being in a park. But these are the stories occurring in our community that deserve to be told.

Today also marked another historical landmark for hate crimes. After ten years of opposition and delay, President Obama signed the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

[The legislation makes] it a federal hate crime to assault people based on sexual orientation, gender and gender identity. The new measure expands the the scope of a 1968 law that applies to people attacked because of their race, religion or national origin. The U.S. Justice Department will have expanded authority to prosecute such crimes when local authorities don’t.[huffpost]

And that’s why, through this law, we will strengthen the protections against crimes based on the color of your skin, the faith in your heart, or the place of your birth. We will finally add federal protections against crimes based on gender, disability, gender identity, or sexual orientation. (Applause.) And prosecutors will have new tools to work with states in order to prosecute to the fullest those who would perpetrate such crimes. Because no one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding the hands of the person they love. No one in America should be forced to look over their shoulder because of who they are or because they live with a disability.[whitehouse]

The signing of this legislation marks an exciting day that many of community activists in the our community have worked long and hard for. Hopefully, the effects of the bill will make a significant improvement to how hate crimes are categorized and legislated on the ground.

Full disclosure: I make an appearance in the film talking about the importance of web organizing for getting the word out on hate crimes in the community. Should still be a good movie.

Who linked:

Remember how in law school you had that “Litigation Basics” class the first semester of your first year? Think back. It was probably one of those half-semester pass/fail deals where you spent class time surfing the net instead of taking notes. (Or was that just me). At the beginning of the term, the professor passes out a little booklet that says “Rules of Professional Conduct.” It lays out the ethical duties of attorneys, basically what they can and cannot do while practicing in that state. It covers client confidentiality, conflict of interest issues, etc. If you haven’t read your copy lately, may I suggest a refresher may be in order? Especially that part about “conduct…which tends to…. bring the courts or the legal profession into disrepute” a.k.a known as asking your employees to have sex with you as part of their duties of employment. You think I jest?

Take Samir Zia Chowhan of Chowhan Law, an attorney practicing in Chicago, Illinois. Allegedly, one fine day, Mr. Chowdan decided his firm needed a secretary/legal assistant and where better to advertise than on the ‘Adult Gigs’ section of Craigslist? He posted a somewhat typical help-wanted ad.

Loop law firm looking to hire am [sic] energetic woman for their open secretary/legal assistant position. Duties will include general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers in the firm. No experience required, training will be provided… If interested, please send current resume and a few pictures along with a description of your physical features, including measurements.

Measurements, eh? That’s a warning flag. Or is it? According to news sources, Ms. Debbie Dickinson, assuming the ad to be innocuous (?!?!) submits her resume, photo and measurements only to receive this reply.

As this is posted in the “adult gigs” section, in addition to the legal work, you would be required to have sexual interaction with me and my partner, sometimes together sometimes separate. This part of the job would require sexy dressing and flirtatious interaction with me and my partner, as well as sexual interaction. You will have to be comfortable doing this with us. If you think you’re comfortable so far, please let me know and we can proceed with the process…

Lastly, we’ve actually hired a couple of girls in the past for this position. But they have not been able to handle the sexual aspect of the job later. We have to be sure you’re comfortable with that aspect, because I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. So since that time, we’ve decided that as part of the interview process you’ll be required to perform for us sexually (i didn’t do this before with the other girls i hired, now i think i have to because they couldn’t handle it). Because that aspect is an integral part of the job, I think it’s necessary to see if you can do that, because it’ll predict future behavior of you being able to handle it when you have the job.

Well, Ms. Dickinson forwards a copy of this email to the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission, where a couple of days ago, they charged Mr. Chowan with misconduct. And it turns out Mr. Chowan may have also been negligent in the immigration cases of some of his desi clients. Read the entire transcript of the complaints against Mr. Chowan here.

Now I know what you guys are thinking, she was perusing the ‘Adult Gigs’ section, what did she expect? But I tend to see a lot of folks cross-post across categories in Craigslist. And while ‘Adult Gigs’ has its share of suspect ads, I can see the overall tone of this particular one fooling some folks into thinking it’s legit. Whaddya folks say? And let’s face it, whether or not he was forthcoming by posting in ‘Adult Gigs,’ this ad does no credit to the profession. On an aside, I wonder how many women applied for this job but didn’t think to report it? In this economy, there had to be plenty of applicants for a job paying 50 to 70K as advertised.

Lessons learned? Don’t jeopardize people’s immigration status by messing with their paperwork. Wait, no, that’s not it. Lessons learned? You tell me. Leave your best lawyer joke in the comment section. Bonus points for haiku and limericks.

Legally yours,

PG

Who linked: